Date: Fri, 10 Sep 2010 08:22:56 -0700 (PDT)
From: Joseph Foster <stories4evry1@yahoo.com>
Subject: gay-celebrity-twilight morning sun 4

Yeah I know it took forever, I have major writers block I've literally been
working on this since April, its not coming as easily as it once did,
mainly because I have to make the stuff that I create blend with the actual
story itself, I want it to flow, lemme know how I'm doing...


The Twilight Saga: Morning Sun

Chapter 4

The Werewolf Diaries


**Jake**

I couldn't believe it, I'd spent weeks with the guy of my dreams under the
excuse of fixing those stupid bikes, but hey we finished them, and we were
gonna go ride them

"Okay, so now that you understand how it works you can give it a go..."

Bennett was definitely not a natural biker boy, more of a bitch seat boy
he's just so cute I couldn't help but smile when he stalled the bike he
looked mortified, and said he's going again

"Alright that was a good try, how about being more careful..."

He took off, and he seemed a little spooked and then it happened the moment
that stopped my heart, he broke badly and went flying off the bike, I
hopped on the bike and slammed it into gear when I got to him he was dazed
and wanted to go again, "Slow down babe, slow down." I said and took off my
shirt applying it to the cut on his head

"You are kind of beautiful." He said and got groggy on me

"How hard did you hit your head?" I laughed and we agreed no more bikes and
he rode bitch back to my place.

"Well school is in an hour so you better get to school." I told him, I
didn't have school anymore

"Alright, well I'll see you tonight at the movie."

"Sounds perfect."

Being a virgin sucks I mean I haven't even had my dick played with and I so
crave it especially from Ben, when he bent over the other day I wanted so
badly to spread those cheeks and eat his ass out, but he was right I
couldn't lose my big V that way...

I was getting ready for the movie, I wasn't feeling to great, but I decided
to play it cool, for Ben.

When we met his loser friend at the movie I was not too thrilled we
wouldn't be alone, he had explained what happened I had hoped they'd all
bail.

In the theater after the joke he played on us making us hold hands, he
stuck his hand in my pants, whoa was not expecting this to happen...

"What are you doing?"

"Making your cinematic experience memorable..." always the jokester

I was trying so hard not to alert Mike to what was going on, although the
look on his face would have been priceless...

The pussy got sick and ran out of the theater and that was when it
happened, the moment I'd waited 16 years for, Ben began to suck my cock, I
couldn't hold it back I moaned out loud, and he suggested ditching the tool
and going back to his place... to make me feel good... It was gonna
happen...

We began to roll around on his bed, I was on top of him and doing what felt
natural, but every time I made an attempt at kissing those full lips he
would turn his head so I was kissing his neck, I settled for pulling him
close to me by the waist, I'd seen it in the movies, so I did my best, and
soon we were naked, he produced a bottle of lube and wet his hole and my
dick, I was unsure... "Shouldn't we use a condom?"

"Honestly Jake I don't think they make them that big." He said to me which
made me feel a little self conscious about how big I was, I kissed his neck
anyway and felt myself push through the opening it felt beyond what I
imagined it would, it felt like heaven, soon my balls were resting on his
ass. He was heaving and groaning I thought it might be hurting him

"Are you okay?"

"Its so big, I just, hold on... lemme get used to it."

I gave him time and he told he to go ahead, I felt like I was gonna cum any
second, so I convinced myself I had to last five minutes.. please just
five... I think I lasted four and came inside him

"Congratulations Jacob Black, you just lost your virginity." He said with a
smile and kiss to my cheek, I was sweating pretty badly, I never knew it
would feel so much better than jacking off.

"That was amazing Ben."

"It was fun." He said, we both knew I wasn't gonna rock his world or
anything.

"Yeah it was, but I shouldn't stay Charlie will begin to suspect
something."

"Good plan, I'll see you later then." Ben said when I leaned in for a kiss
he blocked me and kissed my cheek. "Good night." He said, I was kinda
really hurt, and I felt a little used...

"Really?" I said and got dressed leaving Ben there in his bed I felt so
cheap I lost my virginity and he didn't even let me kiss him... I was
enraged, I couldn't stay here a minute longer I ran out of the house and
through the street, to my car and drove away, I only wish this fucking
Rabbit would be fast...

My brain was wracked he had told me it would be special, how special could
it be if I don't even get to kiss the person!? Maybe it was too soon, maybe
we shouldn't have... I wanted to... he wanted... the sex... he wanted the
sex and used me to get it!... but should I really be mad...? I guess I
sorta deserve to be, but then again, I did get laid with the perfect guy,
hottest one I know... okay, I'm mad, but I'm not furious there you
go... calm down... alright why am I still all hot and
angry... Body... listen, I'm not upset anymore so please regulate...

I felt the sudden need to pull over I was stir crazy in the car... I jumped
out and suddenly my thoughts were different, suddenly I could
smell... everything... I look down to my hands and I see russet paws... OH
MY GOD...

*Jacob can you hear me it's Sam Uley.*

*Yeah I can hear you you're talking aren't you? What do you want*

*You will NOT speak to your alpha that way* Sam commanded and suddenly I
felt the need to respect him

*Yes sir* HEY that's not what I wanted to think... I think...

*You are one of us now...*

*A werewolf?*

*Yes, it is a part of our heritage, a secret, and you cannot tell anyone,
that's a direct order, we have a pact with all of us, its known as a gag
order, every time you want to tell someone DO NOT.*

*Yes sir...*

*Now let's get you initiated... BOYS, oh and Jacob, you'll wanna be human
for this..."

*PHASE* Sam commanded everyone and all became human, Paul, Jared, Quill,
Embry, Collin, Brady, and Sam himself stood around

"You may not enjoy this very much... but we will." Sam said with a slight
sneer, "Get his clothes off Quill." Quill sprung into action and ripped off
my clothes

"Paul, Jared, prepare him." Sam ordered and they began massaging me, and
playing with my butt, Paul bent down a little "I'm going to enjoy this."
Paul said in my ear and licked it a little

I felt a cruel finger penetrate my ass, it hurt a lot at first from the
rough texture, I felt some cooling lubricant added and it started gliding
in swiftly, I looked back and Paul was fingering me, so this is what Sam
had meant by prepare him, all the other's were nude now they had taken off
their shorts and were stroking their cocks, and not one of them was below
nine inches, this must be part of the growing too... I was being held face
down ass up, getting a little nervous, it felt good, and I was turned on at
the feeling, and the sight of all these big cocks around me

"That's good enough I want our newest member to be able to feel this..."
Sam said as he stepped behind me, he lowered himself into the standing
doggy, his torpedo dick aligned with my hole I saw this, and I was
terrified, "Sam... please don't..."

"It's part of tradition Jacob, we've all been through it..." Paul said in a
way that didn't sound all that nice, just as a matter of fact sort of way

"Silence..." Sam said and plunged the entirety of his massive dick into me
at once, as I went to scream Paul jammed his whole dick down my throat, I
immediately gagged fiercely and he pulled out I was coughing and my throat
hurt from the rude entry, Sam was pounding me, I hadn't even gotten a
moment to get used to his size, this was so not how I imagined losing my
anal virginity, Sam was hitting all the right buttons though I was in
seventh heaven now even though this was all fucking and clearly nothing
more than a dominance thing, didn't mean I couldn't like it.

Suddenly I felt a scalding load release inside me, washing my anal walls,
Sam pulled out of me with no warning it hurt pretty bad...  I looked around
and saw now everyone had condoms on... oh no...

"If anyone else cums inside him they deal with me..." Sam said it sounded
pretty rehearsed like he had said this a lot, "Go ahead Paul..."

"Like I said... I'm gonna enjoy this..." Paul said and ran his hands down
my back prying my ass open... "Just like I thought, before Sam, you were a
virgin..." Paul said and stuck me deep, it didn't hurt like Sam had, Paul
started right away, he slammed into me so hard Embry had to steady me and
hold me in place, it hurt so much, but somehow through the agony I found
the please, Paul was whooping and hollering and groaning talking about what
a slut I am, he finally after what seemed like forever moaned and was
throwing a cum filled condom on the ground

This went on for hours, until the entire wolf pack had fucked me, not a
single dick went unfucked I was in so much pain and Sam's cum was stinging
now, not the pleasant sting like before a brutal sting from torn up ass and
cum...

"You're officially one of us now... Rest up..." Sam sneered and called for
everyone to follow as he led them away from me, I curled up on the cold
ground knees to chest and strangely, didn't even feel violated, I had
enjoyed the whole thing... I guess that makes me a sort of slut doesn't it.

**Bennett**

I felt pretty bad for the way I left things with Jacob, I called and
called... and called, but no answers, the only times the phone was picked
up it was Billy saying Jacob wasn't home.

I was so mean, this was the boys virginity for crying out loud why didn't I
treat is as though the sex meant something more than getting his enormous
cock inside me... that's really all it was... Wasn't it??

It was maybe a few weeks of dodging before I had had enough, I bolted to
the door, jumped right into the truck, it was raining, but I didn't even
care, I drove as fast as the old heap would allow. I pulled up to Billy and
Jacobs

"You know, someone with pneumonia shouldn't be outside motherfucker."

"Ben... you need to go..."

"You cut off all your hair?!" I asked walking up to him running my hands
through it

"YES!" He said and shook me off

"You got a tattoo also??"

"Yeah, I did... I've changed... you should try it..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means Ben, he's gone and never coming back, so maybe its time you moved
on..." I heard someone call Jacob but ignored it

"With you?"

"No not with me, I'm no good for you, you need to go..."

"You promised me you'd never hurt me..."

"This is me keeping that promise..."

"No, you can't do this to me Jake, I need you... please don't break up with
me."

"See that's your problem, we're only a couple when you want to be... Leave
Ben, I don't wanna see you get hurt..." Jake said I heard Sam calling him,
and I knew what was going on, "So you're one of them now huh? Well that
explains it then, enjoy yourself I can see that I don't matter."

"You're wrong, but if it helps you sleep at night." Jake said and ran to
his new friends one of whom winked at me in a gruesome manner and I
shivered I began to cry as I head back to my car, I instantly dialed Jason

"Hey what's up?"

"I need you."

"Whoa, what's wrong, you sound terrible."

"I just need you I need to forget what just happened."

"Okay, come over, you know the way, I'll be waiting..."

When I arrived at Jason's he handed me a robe and I stripped out of my
clothes, which he put into the dryer

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"Well Jay, before I do, I should tell you there are parts of the story I'm
going to have to leave out because it's not my place to be telling people
what I learn in confidence."

"I understand baby, just talk to me."

And then I unloaded, everything, everything I had been thru from the
beginning since I came to Forks, only leaving out the part where Edward is
a vampire and Jacob is a werewolf

"That's pretty heavy, I can't believe you've had to deal with so much in
the short time you've been here, I'm sorry." I didn't even realize I was
wrapped so very comfortably in Jason's arms, when I looked up into his blue
eyes I noticed for the first time how beautifully blue they were, and then
I noticed something else...

"Hey, when did you shave, and you cut your hair..."

"Remember the other day when we were looking through old pictures and you
saw the one of my dad, you know, the one of him with me as a baby?"

"Yeah I do..."

"It was what you said to me that day..."

"What did I say...?"

"Well right after you learned he was sick, you put your hand on my scraggly
cheek, and said "You know, underneath this facade with your long hair and
your scruffy face you look just like him." And I loved hearing that and I
wanted to... look like him you know?"

"I know, you look amazing Jayce, I don't think I've ever seen a guy look so
completely beautiful."

"Why do you have to be so amazing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm supposed to be your friend, I'm not supposed to want to be
with you, to be your boyfriend, that's not how this was supposed to be..."

"You want to be my boyfriend?" Jason was instantly flushed and clicking his
teeth

"You are doing your oh shit face! You want me don't you?" I asked him and
he turned redder "Oh my god you do." I said getting serious

He stood up and turned his back to me. I walked up behind him and grabbed
him into a quick hug from behind, "You know I may be damaged goods, but I'd
be lying if I said I didn't want you too..."

"But do you want me the way I want you?" Jason asked turning around

"If by that do you mean will I be your boyfriend, the answer is yes I
will..." Even if only to make Jake and Edward jealous... and I kissed him,
the strange part was I liked it a lot

"I can't wait any longer.." Jason said and bent me over the couch, I was
completely surprised and totally turned on by the sudden aggression

He spit on his hand and lubed up his cock and thrust into me it hurt like a
bitch but as he bottomed out he rubbed my sweet spot and I was into it from
the start. We went at it for a good hour and I took out some of my
frustrations while riding his nice sized dick, it wasn't enormous just
slightly above average and I loved the feeling of it, rubbing against all
the right spots, as he sat up to kiss me and I kissed him back, I was
really into it, I was sober, straight thinking, and thinking of Jason, do I
really like him that way? As we climaxed together there was the sound of
collective moaning then all of a sudden I was hitting the wall, I groggily
looked up long enough to see Jacob grabbing Jason by the throat before I
passed out

I don't know how much time passed but when I woke up it was very dark, I
looked around as the blurriness in my eyes faded and the pain at the back
of my head throbbed, I finally centered, and I began to look for Jason...

"Jason!" there was no answer

I tripped over something on my way to the light switch, and when I turned
it on there he was, lifeless on the ground totally unmoving, not even a
twitch, there were purple and blue hand marks on his neck, I instinctively
looked for claw marks or bites, there were none, I checked his pulse, there
was no heartbeat, I began to hyperventilate, "Jason... I'm so sorry, so
sorry..." I quietly began to cry as I recalled what I'd seen before passing
out, and I knew, Jake had done this he'd killed Jason.

I picked up my phone and dialed my father, "Ben, what's wrong it's three in
the morning!?"

"Jason's dead..."

"What? Are you with him? What happened? Are you okay??"

"Jason died, I'm hurt, I'm with him, he has hand imprints on his neck,
someone killed him, and hurt me, my head hurts daddy..."

"I'm coming to get you."

It was no more than five minutes later when my father came bursting into
the apartment, and grabbed a hold of me, "I'm gonna call this in, you go
wait in the car, we need to get you to the hospital, come on honey." I felt
so small and helpless in my father's arms

In the crusier I could hear my dad radioing for back up reporting the
apparent murder of someone I cared for, I broke down crying again

Before I knew it we were at the hospital again, I was completely stoic I
didn't have any desire to even speak, "He's in shock..." Not in shock, just
unwilling

"We're going to give you something to help you sleep."

I thought to myself, whatever, it won't bring him back, anyone back.

It would be two weeks before I got out of my bed, Bella tried talking to
me, I didn't speak, Mike, Jessica, Angela, and Eric all stopped by to
visit, I ignored them too. My dad literally spoon fed me meals, because I
had no desire to live, or move, I had never missed Edward so badly.

That night I had a dream, I had a dream Victoria was chasing me, she was
closing in and I just sat down, she came running up, "You're going to give
up that easily?" she asked in her piercing voice

"What do I have to live for, just kill me?"

Suddenly Victoria morphed into Jason

"What the hell?"

"You need to live for me, I'm not here anymore, but I don't want to see you
like this, it breaks my heart to watch you be so unhappy, you are too
important, you have two very special gifts you aren't even aware of yet,
you are meant to be with Edward, not Jacob, you could never love me or Jake
the way you will love Edward, for all of eternity, I love you, but you need
to stop being so pathetic, get up, get out of bed and just live..." He
disappeared, what did he mean two special gifts, I'm just ordinary me,
nobody special, but I made a promise to myself and his memory that I would
live

The next day I drove out to La Push, I had a sample of Jason's ashes that
his parents had allowed me to have, knowing how special I was to him, I
didn't even know

**Three Days Earlier**

"Ben, you have visitors."

"I really don't feel up to it dad."

"Please pretend, for these particular people, its Jason's parents, please
at least act like you really don't mind seeing them."

"Okay." I said and sat up

When they walked in it was clear they were his biological parents, his dad
was like the forty year old version of Jason, it made my heart stop for a
moment and I'm sure I was choking up, it was like looking at what Jason
would have looked like in twenty years, his mother was beautiful too, short
dark hair and there were Jason's uniquely colored eyes, direct from his
mother.

"I'm sorry for the reaction, you both just look so much like him." I said
choking back the tears

"We came to see you, Jason was planning a dinner so we could meet you, but
well this was the only way, we have a few things for you." They handed me a
small prayer box, a funeral announcement to the funeral I'd been in the
hospital for, and then something gift wrapped..."

"What's this?"

"We aren't sure." Jasons dad spoke for the first time

I opened the gift wrapped present, "I pulled off the envelope with my name
on it

Inside there was a note, and as I read it I could hear the sweet sound of
Jason's voice reading it to me, "To Ben, my best friend, and hopefully by
this time boyfriend, You are my reason to get up in the morning, I know you
probably don't feel the same way as I do but I wanted to give you something
to remind you of our time together, also as sort of a forgive me for
forcing you to sit through dinner with my parents, they are a little cookey
but I love them more than anything, almost as much as I love you, I realize
you are probably confused as to why I would tell you this in a
letter... and I'll tell you, you deserve all the old school romance
possible, and the very first way people would tell their love to their
special someone was in a letter.  So on this day you are reading this
letter, I want you to know that you have me, in every way, since the day we
met, I've been yours for the taking.  After you are finished reading this
look at the gift, and then read the envelope number two. All my love,
Jason"

I was in tears at that moment, I handed the letter to his mother allowing
her to read what an amazing son she'd raised

I pulled out of the gift box a leatherbound book, as I undid the buckle, I
opened it... It was a scrapbook, but not a typical one, the first page was
hand drawn, "The Adventures of Bennett the Great and Biker Boy." There was
a little foot note, "Sorry I'm not that literary."

As I turned the page I saw the first picture we'd taken, and as I went
through every picture we'd taken either of each other, or together, whether
it was on a cell phone, camera, or anything it was in here. When I turned
to a page that read LOVE I saw a picture of us asleep together his friend
had taken, a few pictures of us kissing, and a bunch of us just being so
much like a couple, I'd never noticed how close we were or how much he
obviously meant to me and I to him, because a picture is worth a thousand
words, so I've got millions of words here telling me I felt the same way
about him.

At the end, there was the picture we got at the amusement park of us on the
rollercoaster, we were screaming but the looks on our face was not terror
is was happy, and I noticed for the first time that in the picture we were
holding hands, on the back cover the was a note with a #2 on the top right
corner, "Now that you've read it, please tell me you're ready to be my
boyfriend, I'll be waiting for your call. Xoxo Jason."

I handed his mom the book as I began to cry. She sat down on the bed she
seemed like she was about to pass out, "I never even knew how he felt about
you, he constantly talked about you, you were the most important person in
his life, he cared for you,

Recalling that moment I sat on the beach and just felt the wind caressing
my cheek, imagining it was Jason.

I suddenly knew I was not alone, and I looked to my left, "You know, people
usually only sit like that after they've spread some ashes."

It was Sam Uley, "Hi Sam, I'm really not in the mood to talk to anyone
associated with Jacob, I know what he did."

"As do I, Jacob is being dealt with, I do not take kindly to one of my own
going against everything I stand for."

"What do you mean?"

"It means that we wolves are not evil natured, we exist solely to fight
vampires if the need arises, we are not supposed to hunt humans or we will
be punished." I looked at Sam for the first time since he began talking.

"Why did he kill him?"

"Do you really have to ask that question?"

"I know, but why not just rough him up a little, why be so... brutal?"

"That I cannot explain, but I'll tell you this, if it had been Emily with
some other guy right after me, I might have done the same thing."

"But Sam, this was an innocent man, he was going to be a doctor, he was
going to save lives, and Jacob may have just caused the world a cure for
cancer, or aids, you never know what he could have done..." I broke down in
tears and just leaned against Sam crying suddenly I felt an indescribable
feeling and I saw flashes, this same beach and I was kissing Sam.

"Are you okay Ben?"

It was the same moment, I was looking him in the eyes, and there is was, a
lust in his eyes, that was why he'd come here, The words I'd seen coming
out of my mouth came out, "You came here to comfort me, you sensed me
here."

"Yeah, so what if I did?"

"Because you want me too..."

"So what if I do?"

"You can't have me..." I said and kissed him softly on the lips, he kissed
me back, and it became more insistent, and I pulled away, "I mean it." I
said and he looked insulted

"What does Jake or this dead guy have that I don't..."

"Real feelings for me." I said and made my way to my truck

It was true, sure I'd made a couple mistakes in my past, but whatever,
Carlisle was going to see to it Edward never found out about our little
romp in his office, as I drove away I decided I wanted to feel close to
Edward again, so I drove up the mountain towards our spot in the meadow.

It was a long trek, and I finally found it, but the flowers were gone, it
seemed almost barren .

"As I live and breathe... Well perhaps not..." I heard from behind me, I
knew that voice... Laurent

"Laurent... good to see you again..."

"Quite... So tell me Bennett, I stopped by the Cullens to check in and
nobody was home, do you know anything..."

"LIE." Edward told me as he materialized

"Edwards been staying with friends... and his family is looking for a new
place to live on the other side of town..."

"Lie better.."

"I'll stop you there, I've checked around, nobody has seen or heard from
any of the Cullens in months."

"I have, Edward stays with me some nights, to make sure I'm safe, because
he loves me."

Laurent ran up to me so fast and grabbed my arm, taking my hand into his he
pulls me into him and begins to kiss my neck, and whispers in my ear, "How
much could he really love you if he was so ready to leave you, all alone,
and helpless?"

That was a good question, one I have to admit I've asked myself, a number
of times.

"At least if I kill you, it will be quick and painless, if Victoria has her
way, she'll kill you slowly and the pain will be unbearable."

There were growls as the werewolves showed up and Laurent ran away, as all
the wolves chased after him, one stayed back, he phased, "Sam told me to
keep and eye on you, he said you probably wouldn't want him or Jake to do
it, so you get me..."

"Oh joy... So what's up Paul?"

"I'm a little pissed that I have to play babysitter while the other guys
get to tear apart some vampire..." Paul said darting his eyes from the spot
where I was standing to the spot next to him, I took that as my cue

"Sorry, I don't mean to get into this kind of trouble, trouble just kind of
finds me." I told Paul honestly

"Way I see it you aren't even that special, I mean what is so great about
you...?"

That stung a little, as true as the statement was I didn't like hearing
that I am nothing special

"I couldn't tell ya dude."

"I mean you're hot and all, but you're way bitchy, and stuck up, and kind
of a slut, what Jakey Jake sees in you I'll never know..." Now I was really
offended this guy didn't even know me

"What is your beef with me Paul?"

"I got none with you, I just don't like the way you do business."

"What way is that?"

"How many people have you banged since you got to town? And don't lie to me
and say just Jake and the cold one."

"Four."

"So... Monogamy isn't really your strong point is it then? So who were
they?"

"Well, there's Edward of course, Jason, Jake, and Carlisle..."

"Wait, you banged your boyfriends daddy... that's low dude, even to do it
to a bloodsucker that's low."

"It just sorta happened, you know, I haven't even thought about it again,
but for the record that was the only time I've cheated."

"So Jake and Jason weren't during Edward?"

"No, he'd left already, Jason was my first hookup, but became a great
friend, Jake has the biggest dick I've ever seen so I stole his virginity
to get it inside me."

"You really are a slut aren't you...?"

"I guess I am... do you have to be so crude about it?"

"So what exactly does a guy have to do to get at you? Give you a look of
desire?"

"You say that like 4 people is SO many people, I'll bet you've fucked way
more that 4 people."

"So what if I had, I ain't taking it, the person who gets penetrated is the
slut not the other way around..."

"You're as ass backwards as they get aren't you..."

"Hey I'm not the only one that thinks that way, most people will tell you,
either a girl, or a gay boy that takes it up the ass are the sluts, not the
ones who stick it to em."

"Be that as it may four is not that many...

"But even one who you aren't in love with is too many..." Paul said to me
and it made me think, maybe he's right...

Not that I cared, I left in my truck and drove home, when I got there I
fell asleep, when I woke up Jake was standing in front of me, "What are you
doing here Jake?"

"I came to see you, to be sure you're okay..."

"You've seen me, now go..."

"You hate me now don't you?"

"Yes, don't you get it, you KILLED someone Jake, someone I happen to care
about.."

"I saw him touching you, I saw him... I saw him fuck you... I couldn't
stand it, I didn't even know what happened until afterwards...I just wanted
to tell you how sorry I am... I never meant to kill him, I just wanted to
scare him away from being with you..."

"Well you did kill him..."

"I know..."

"I need you to leave now Jake, I don't really wanna see you right now..."

"Please Ben, just know how sorry I am, and that it was an accident."

"Just go." I said breaking down into tears

I had nobody, Edward was gone, Jason was dead, Jake had killed him, Alice
was gone also... what did I have to keep me here...

I went to my garage and found the motorcycle I had made Jake bring to me, I
started it, I was terrified, I took off at a blazing speed, popping a
wheelie while doing it, I didn't focus on Edward this time, as he appeared
in the road, I just focused on the thrill of speeding through the deserted
streets of Forks, I headed towards La Push, I wanted to really test this
bad boy out... I took it up a notch and reach maximum speed, "Stop this..."
I heard Edward, it was good to hear him... I passed the reservation... I
jammed on the breaks, I remembered what Jake had told me about the wolves
liking to wreck their bikes and land in the water... So I decided I would
do it, its supposed to be a thrill like cliff jumping, but I wasn't ready
for that... I kicked the bike and took off as fast as I could go, I hit the
accelerator as I went up the crude homemade ramp, and went off the edge, I
raised my arms up like I'd seen on TV and then I felt the impact... my bike
was no longer beneath me and I was face down in the water, fortunately it
was a deeper part so I wasn't hurt, but I was cold and wet that was for
sure

A couple guys came running over, dude that was sick...

Then I saw him... Jake... and he looked pissed

"I brought that bike to you because you said it had sentimental value, and
that you wouldn't ever ride it again..."

"Well I never promised..."

"Whatever, you're coming with me, we gotta get you out of those wet
clothes..."

"Dream on..."

"I already got that, remember? You're coming with me, I was on my way to
Sam and Emily's anyway, so you're coming too."

As we drove in the rabbit, I was shivering

"Sorry I don't have heat... don't really need it come under here.." Jake
said motioning under his arm

"Jake, we aren't gonna go there..."

"You need heat, just get under here."

"fine..." I obliged and nestled under Jakes massive arm, it was hot, so
hot, I instantly felt better I let out a sigh

"I really wish that was because of me and not because of evading
hypothermia."

"Jake, you killed my boyfriend, and you saved my life, I'm kind of right in
the middle on you right now, so don't push it."

"Right."

We arrived at Emily and Sams, and he retrieved me some of his old clothes
and took mine to the washer and dryer, after I changed Jake came into the
room, "About Emily, when you see her, try to not stare it bugs Sam."

"Why would I stare?"

"You'll see."

We walked into the kitchen and the camaraderie was apparent, and it was
clear that Emily was a motherly type.

"So... You must be the fangbanger..." Emily said with a smile

"Watching too much "True Blood" lately are we? You must really love getting
your leg humped..." I said with a smile back as she turned to me I noticed
half of her face was badly scarred, we shared a smile I could tell we would
get a long great

Sam walked back into the room and planted kisses all over his woman, even
on her scars.

I could see he loved her, but why was he trying to get with me... is it
just an alpha thing?

We had some lunch, and I got to know them all pretty well, it was actually
fun hanging out with the wolf pack all day, Jake motioned for me to follow
him, so I did casually excusing myself amidst whistling, likely assuming we
were gonna go at it... "Stop that!" Emily said and gave me an apologetic
look

"It's fine... I for one don't enjoy getting fleas..." I said with a wink at
her and we laughed at the boys' expense

We went for a walk along La Push beach, it was slightly awkward, "So... you
really are a werewolf huh?"

"Last time I check, yeah."

"Can't you like stop..."

"its not exactly a choice, I was born this, way am I not the right kind of
monster for you ben..."

"They never hurt anyone, you guys kill people..."

"We don't kill anyone Ben, the only people we kill are not people, we were
designed to kill only vampires..."

"You killed someone... and if you did it maybe some of the other do too,
did you ever stop to think about that?!"

"I'm sorry, I thought we were better now that I saved your life and all."

"Its never going to be okay with me Jake, that's asking a lot, too much,
but I can look past that and see the good you've done."

"What more can I ask... so where were we..." we continued walking

"You can't kill..."

"Don't worry we can't touch your precious Cullens the treaty protects them,
they keep up their end, and we can't touch them..."

"No, Jake, you can't kill vampires... they'll kill you..."

"We took out the dude with the dreads easily enough..."

"Laurent... you killed him...?"

"And his redheaded girlfriend is next..."

"Wait... Victoria is back, she's here!?"

"Was, but we chased her in to Canada but she keeps coming back, we can't
figure out what she's after..."

"I can... she's after me..."

"Why..."

As we drove back to my place I told Jake everything about James, how I got
the bite mark, the cover up story, everything they may need to know since
my protection now laid in their hands...

"I'll protect you, we all will..." Jake said putting his hand on my face

"She could kill you.. and if any of you die or get hurt because of me, I
won't forgive myself."

"Your lack of faith in us astounds me, even after we killed the braids
dude..."

"She's worse, way worse, her own kind has a hard time keeping up with
her..."

"I know I haven't been your favorite person lately but you should know by
now I love you and I will do what I have to do to protect you."

"Please, don't do anything stupid."

"I will do what I have to do, if that is stupid, then fine, but I should
go, don't worry we've got some guys watching over you, Bella, and
Charlie... Sleep safe

"You really have to go...?"

"Yeah... got a vampire to kill." With that Jake took off on foot

Up until now, I'd always had somebody there for me, outside of my family, I
always had a best friend, a boyfriend, or sometimes even both, but now I'm
alone, dad's unknowingly hunting Jacob, Jacob's hunting Victoria, Alice and
Edward are gone, my human friends can't understand, I have nobody, worst of
all I feel like I have nothing... I needed to see him again, like I did at
the ramp...

I got into my truck and drove to La Push... I made the trek up to the top
most cliff, I need to see Edward, and cliff diving is pretty wreckless

I took off my jacket, "Don't do this, please..."

"You wanted me to be human right... so watch me..." I said

"Please for me don't do this..."

"You won't stay with me any other way." I said and got a running start, I
meant to dive but I ran too far and just kinda did a pencil drop, as my
body made contact with the water I instantly went under, and felt the rush,
as I rose to the surface, I exclaimed excitedly as a big wave crashed
against me, and threw me a good distance, I didn't see a way out, that was
when I saw her, she was swimming right towards me, I panicked and started
paddling backwards, I saw black, and the next thing I knew I was
underwater, Edward was pulling me out... or so I thought.

"Breathe!" I opened my eyes as I coughed up the sea water, it was Jake, he
saved my life

"Are you completely insane, you could've been killed..."

"That was such a rush..."

"BEN!" Jake screamed in my face to snap me out of my high

"What?" I asked, slightly intimidated

"Do you understand you almost died..."

"So what, I could die any moment of any day, I could get hit by a bus, or
have an aneurism it's a fact of life Jake people die..."

"GET HIM HOME, I'M GOING OVER TO HELP AT HARRY'S PLACE!"

"I heard Sam... what's going on with Harry..."

"He had a heart attack... he didn't make it..."

In my truck on the way back I was nestled under Jakes arm... "We are making
this a habit..." I said to Jake

"I know, I wish you weren't so wreckless."

"I can't help it, just am."

"You ever feel like you're losing yourself?" Jake suddenly asked me

"All the time..."

"I feel like that now, I feel like the more I give in to my instincts and
my family legacy the more I give, the less I have... I feel like... I'm
disappearing, and nobody even cares."

"I do, and I will tell you all the time how special and how fortunate you
are." My lips were very close to Jake's I just could not bring myself to do
it, "Thank you for today, for everything you've done... but I need to go
now." I opened my door, and Jake slammed it shut...

"WAIT!" "There's a vampire..."

"How do you know!?"

"The smell, the god awful stench..."

I noticed in the mirror a black Mercedes with blacked out
windows... "That's Carlisle's car... they're here!"

"Ben it's a trick stop, you gotta come with me..."

"They won't hurt me..."

"Look if they are back I can't protect you here, this is their territory
again..."

"That's fine, you don't have to."

"You are about to cross a line..."

"Then for your sake, don't draw one." I replied coldly

I burst thru my door and switched on the light, "AHH" I yelped as I saw
Alice standing beside the open door.

"ALICE Oh my..." and I grabbed her into a hug

"Ben!"

"I just cannot believe you're really here..."

"Would you kindly explain to me how you're alive...?!"

"Huh?"

"I saw a vision of you, you were jumping off a cliff, why in the hell would
you try and kill yourself, what about Bella, or Charlie, or you mother!?"

"I didn't try to kill myself, I was having fun, it was a sport, cliff
jumping..." I said and led her to the couch

"I have never met anyone more prone to life threatening idiocy..."

"Have you talked to..."

"No, he barely calls once every few months if that... my god, what is the
terrible smell, it reeks of wet dog in here..."

"That'd be me... or probably Jacob..."

"Pleas tell me Jacob is your new filthy puppy..."

"Jacob is kind of a werewolf.."

"Bennett, werewolves are not good company to keep..."

"Speak for yourself..." Jacob said from behind Alice, I looked over at him
with a what the fuck glance, "I just had to be sure you were safe..."

"I thought you couldn't protect me here..."

"I guess I don't care."

"Well I'm not going to hurt her..."

"No you're just a harmless Cullen, I'm talking about the other bloodsucker
who tried to kill Ben because of you..."

"Victoria?"

"Yeah, Victoria's been around..." I said to Alice a tad bit resentful

"I didn't see her... but I didn't see you get pulled out of the water
either..." Alice got a disdainful look, "I cant see past you and your pack
of mutts!"

"Don't get me upset, or things will get very ugly..."

I moved to step between them but Alice held up her hand... "From where I'm
standing things have been ugly for about 16 years..." she said and moved
towards the door, "I'll give you a minute."

"Hey." She turned around, "You're not going anywhere... you're gonna come
back..."

"As soon as you put the dog out."

"How many, how long are they staying..." Jake asked as I picked up my
coffee mug,

"Its just Alice, and she can stay as long as she'd like."

"Are the rest coming back??"

I stood with my hands resting on the sink behind me, "No, not that I know
of, any other questions?" I asked with a slight scoff

"That's it."

"Well if that's all then I guess it's about time you'd better go running
back to Sam..."

I turned to begin washing the dishes

"I've done it again... I keep breaking my promise..." I turned from the
dishes once more

"You know we don't have to do this to each other..." I said

"Yes we do" Jacob replied

Jacob stepped forward and put his hand on my face, resting his head against
mine, and said something in his native tongue and leaned forward, as our
lips were connecting the phone rang

"Can you grab that I just can't deal right now..."

"Sure... Swan residence."

"I need to speak to Chief Swan please."

Jacob recognized the voice immediately... "He's not here... he's arranging
a funeral..."

TO BE CONTINUED...


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