Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 23:19:21 -0700
From: loste Lasfa <fanboi214@yahoo.com>
Subject: Uncertain Disaster in Warehouse 13: Chapter 1

This story is a work of fiction and implies nothing about the sexuality of
the characters mentioned or the actors who portray them.  All rights to
these characters belong to their creators.  Enjoy!

As far as Pete was concerned inventory day was not only the longest most
boring day, but also the biggest waste. Warehouse agents were the smartest,
fastest, most skilled people in the world and once a year they were
glorified stockroom workers. The agents split into pairs and walked up and
down the aisles of the warehouse making sure that all of it's magical
artifacts were exactly where they were supposed to be. At the moment Pete
and Claudia were working their way through the transportation artifact
sector. "Hey, Claud?" Pete called leaning in as he noticed something
shining. "Is this a nobel prize?"

"I think it is," She replied. As she glanced down at the inventory, Pete
picked up the medal and absentmindedly tossed it up. "It's Heinsberg's
Nobel. When it's set into motion it changes its location at will."

"Huh?" Pete replied as the medal was falling back down. With a flash it
disappeared before it reached his clutches. "Where... did it go?" From the
other side of the room there was a loud startled yell and a flash.

"PETE!" Artie's voice echoed.

"Claudia did it!" He shouted out.

***

"How many times have I told you NOT to play with the artifacts?" Artie
chastised. The agents were gathered before him by the main directory
computer.
"At least a hundred," Pete muttered.

"At least! And it was precisely so something like this wouldn't happen."
Artie grumbled.

"It'll be alright," Mika said "We just need to go out and recover the
Nobel."

"If only it were that simple," Artie sighed "Heisenberg's prize not only
teleports itself but also anything it collides with while in
motion. Fortunately it landed in the romance artifact ward, so most of the
artifacts it came in contact with were relatively benign. Still it and took
four other artifacts with it."

"Where did they go?" Jinks asked.

"We can't be certain." Artie replied. "But we need to get them back."

"Well what's the damage?" Claudia asked "It can't be that bad, can it?"

"In addition to Heisenberg's prize, we've also lost Alfred Kinsey's scale,
Love Potion Number 9, Casonova's memoirs, and Tom of Finland's pen." Artie
replied, "They're scattered around the country."

"What's the rundown on them?" Jinks asked.

"The scale is relatively harmless," Artie explained "If a person shifts
it's position it will shift their sexual preferences. The pen could cause
us some problems. The artist known as Tom of Finland became famous for
drawing erotic pictures of men who were impossibly large and muscular. Any
man who uses that pen will gain massive amounts of muscle in a very short
time. As far as Casanova's memoirs, if someone reads from them allowed
everyone within earshot is filled with an almost uncontrollable desire to
immediately engage with them sexually. The real problem though is the love
potion. If that falls into the wrong hands we can have a real mess on our
hands. Anyone in position of the love potion becomes instantly
irresistable."

"Between the four of us we can have them all back by the end of the day, no
matter where they wound up." Mika reassured.

"Where do we start?" Claudia asked.

"I have a beat on the pen. It's in a town called Mystic Falls, Virginia."

So where did the other artifacts land?  I'm open to suggestions and hoping
to cross over a couple fandoms.  Send your thoughts my way.
fanboi214@yahoo.com