Date: Wed, 8 Apr 2015 01:46:24 +0000 (UTC)
From: cheekymonkeytales@yahoo.com
Subject: Why There Are No Women in The Hobbit.  Part Three: The Last Homley Whore House

Why There Are No Women in The Hobbit
Part Three: The Last Homely Whore House

Disclaimer: The fictional characters depicted in this story belong to the
estate of J.R.R. Tolkien and George Allen and Unwin (UK) publishers.  They
are presented here as a fair use sex parody.

Following the harrowing troll incident, in which the whole company was
nearly eaten alive, Bilbo had half a mind to turn around and go back to his
comfy (and safe!) hole under the hill.  But despite his better judgment, he
soldiered on and was soon rewarded for his tenacity, for the company had
reached the secret valley of the elves: Rivendell!  Bilbo had never seen an
elf before, and he was enchanted by their grace and beauty, a love that he
would carry with him for the remainder of his long life.  The elves were
tall, as tall as a man, and strong with broad shoulders and sculpted
chests: perfectly rounded pectoral muscles capped with pink nipples above
abdominal muscles that rippled like waves.  They had long hair flowing from
their crowns, but their bodies were perfectly smooth with skin that gleamed
like porcelain.  Some elves wore little more than silken thongs that
cradled their genitals and ran up between their buttocks.  Others were
totally nude, sporting long, thick penises that swayed as they walked.
Bilbo, and indeed many of the younger dwarves who had also never seen an
elf before, stood in stunned awe as they watched the elves glide past,
feeling a growing tightness in their trousers as they watched smooth
bubbles of ass bounce with every step.  As the dwarves descended into the
valley, the elves greeted them with a merry song; clearly, they were
expected.

They approached the largest house in the valley, an elegant hall built into
the side of a majestic waterfall.  Bilbo put his hand against a carved
stone pillar. Only skills honed through an immortal lifespan could have
wrought the fine detail and delicate motifs in wood and stone that
supported the great house, and Bilbo felt that everything was part of the
living, breathing valley.  As they walked up the steps, the doors opened,
and they were greeted by the master of house.

"Gandalf, my friend!  Welcome to Rivendell," the master exclaimed.

Gandalf opened his arms and embraced the elf.  "Elrond, once again I must
thank you for your gracious hospitality...and also your council."

"Please, Gandalf," Elrond replied, "You and your company are always welcome
to rest and partake of the all the pleasures Rivendell has to offer.
Please, step inside."

As Bilbo entered the hall, he looked more closely at Master Elrond.  He had
long black hair and a face that was neither old nor young: a square
sculpted jaw with a proud, straight nose and dark eyebrows over flashing
blue eyes.  Bilbo thought he looked different from other elves.
Wiser. Stronger.  A humanity in his eyes that diminished the etherealness
so characteristic of other elves.  He wore a long blue robe, cinched at the
waist but open above to reveal his muscular chest.

"Thorin, son of Thrain, King Under the Mountain, you honor our house,"
Elrond said with a bow.  "Please, relax and refresh yourselves before
dinner.  I'm sure you've had a long journey."  Thorin bowed, as one king
bows to another, and soon Bilbo and all the dwarves were the driest,
warmest, and cleanest they had been in weeks.

Dinner was a feast, a parade of new spices and flavors from across Middle
Earth that Bilbo had never dreamt possible.  As fond as Bilbo was of food
(and he was very fond), he had never tasted anything so delicious, and was
soon pleasantly stuffed.  Business followed dinner.  Gandalf produced a map
and a key that were critical to finding the secret door to the Lonely
Mountain.  With a bit of arcane knowledge and a lot of luck, Elrond soon
discovered that the map included Moon Letters that described the exact time
and place the dwarves must be to find the hidden key hole.  Bilbo saw the
dwarves' eyes light up with excitement.  They were one step closer to their
goal, and there was now a sense of urgency.  The timing of the key hole was
very specific; they now had a deadline.  They also showed Elrond the swords
they had pilfered from the trolls, and as luck would have it they were
great swords of elvish make, forged for the Goblin Wars: Glamdring the Foe
Hammer, Orcrist the Goblin Cleaver, and even Bilbo's little knife that was
yet to be named.

"But enough business!" Elrond declared.  "You are our honored guests, and
we wish to give you all the pleasure our house can provide."  Elrond
clapped his hands, and a cavalcade of twenty or so elves entered the dining
hall.  Each was beautiful in his own way, one with a rounder ass, another
with broader shoulders, some with squarer jaws or higher cheekbones, some
naked and others in thongs.  They posed and turned, showing off their
luscious bodies that were primed and eager for a night of lust.  "Please,
choose as many of my elves as you desire.  They are here for your sexual
pleasure."  The dwarves rose from the table, mischievous grins spreading
across their broad faces, as they reached down to their crotches to rub
their swelling penises.

Nori knelt before a tall blonde elf and pulled the elf's pouch down to his
ankles, releasing an eight inch erection that slapped Nori in the face,
smearing a trail of silvery precum across Nori's beard and mustache.  Ori
and Dori decided to share a muscular brunette.  The elf bent down to kiss
Ori, sucking hungrily on Ori's smooth upper lip, while Dori was busy
undoing his brother's pants.  Bombur, the largest dwarf, had paired with
the largest of the elves and was already on his knees slurping down thick
elf meat, while he fumbled with his buckle.  The elf's strong but graceful
hands held Bombur's head firmly, forcing the fat dwarf further down the
elf's cock.  Balin had an elf bent at the waist, The old dwarf was playing
with the tiny strip of fabric protecting the elf's ass hole.  He pushed it
to the side to reveal the elf's tight pink sphincter.  Balin chuckled and
winked at his brother, who had his arms around two strong elves.  Dwalin
caressed the butt cheeks of each elf before slipping his fingers into their
ass cracks and rubbing their hungry holes.  Bifur had somehow already
removed his trousers.  He stroked this thick dwarfhood as an elf got down
on all fours to lick his hairy balls.  Bofur was between two muscular elven
legs, rubbing his Mohawk up and down the elf's pouch, stroking the swelling
elf cock inside.  The two redheaded dwarves, Oin and Gloin, had found an
equally flame haired elf.  The elf's long dick was already sliding to the
back of Oin's throat.  Oin snorted as he breathed air through his nose, and
he grabbed and spread each of the elf's bubble butt cheeks to give Gloin
access to the elf's sensitive anus.  Fili and Kili, though not twins
themselves, had found identical twin elves.  They stood side by side like a
reflection, the only difference was that one had Fili sucking down his long
shaft, and the other had Kili, lapping at this rock hard erection.  The two
dwarves looked at each other as they each slurped and licked and filled
their mouths with thick elf cock.  Finally, Thorin carefully selected three
elves.  He kissed a blonde elf passionately on the lips, the elf running
his hands through Thorin's thick raven mane, as Thorin stroked the smooth
locks of the elf.  A second elf was on his knees undoing Thorin's trousers,
while the third knelt behind the second and pulled his thong over his
rounded rump and down to his knees, rubbing his hands over the smooth
muscular mounds.  Only little Bilbo held back from the delights before him.
His cock was painfully tenting his trousers, but he felt that he wanted
something else.

Bilbo felt a hand on his shoulder.  He looked up to see Elrond beside him.
"Why Mr. Baggins, do you not like any of my fine elves tonight?"

"Oh, no!" replied Bilbo.  "Er, that is yes, I find them all very fine:
handsome and strong and skilled in sex, but I think the elf I most desire
is...you."

Elrond raised a bemused eyebrow and released a silvery laugh.  He drew
Bilbo closer, so that the hobbit's face was just below Elrond's belly
button, which was like a small cave nestled between rock hard abdominal
muscles.  Bilbo inhaled the sweet and spicy scent emanating from below the
cinched robe.  "If it is me that you want, then it is me, you shall have."
Elrond led Bilbo to room off to the side of the great hall and closed the
door behind them.

They were in a small bedroom.  A bed stood at the room's center, with posts
on each corner that seemed to grow into the ceiling like tree branches.
Elrond led Bilbo to the bed and gently pushed him into a reclining
position.  Elrond then stood back and locked eyes with the hobbit.
Elrond's hands slid down his chest to the clasp holding his robe.  With a
flick, it was unbuckled, and the robe cascaded to the floor.  Bilbo let out
an audible gasp at the sight of Elrond's magnificent body.  Broad and
rounded shoulders supported muscular arms.  His chest was two marble slabs,
with a deep crevice running down between them to six perfectly formed
abdominals.  A hard nipple sprouted from each pectoral muscle.  An eight
inch penis stood at full attention and swayed over two plump testicles as
he approached Bilbo.

The naked elf lord crawled onto the bed over Bilbo and kissed the Hobbit
full on the lips.  Bilbo took Elrond's chiseled jaw in his hands and opened
his mouth to sweet elven breath.  They sucked and kneaded each other's lips
and explored the taste of each other's mouths.  Elrond, who in his many
long years had never mated with a hobbit, was just as eager to explore
Bilbo's body as Bilbo was eager to explore his. While they kissed, Elrond
made short work of the buttons and buckles on Bilbo's clothes.  Without
quite realizing how, Bilbo found himself completely naked and pinned to the
bed by Elrond above him, with Elrond's huge erection pressed against his
thigh.  Bilbo pulled his lips away from Elrond's.  Between hard breaths he
said, "Please, Master Elrond, show me what an immortal life has taught you
in the ways of sexual pleasure."

"I can show you many things, Mr. Baggins" Elrond whispered into Bilbo's ear
in a deep but smooth voice.  "But you must surrender your body completely
to my instruction.  Will you give yourself to me, Mr. Baggins?"

"Yes, Master Elrond," Bilbo replied, almost pleading.

"Very well" said Elrond, straightening up.  He bent over the edge of bed
and produced a small vial.  He poured the amber liquid down his chest and
stomach, and flexed his mighty arms.  "You may begin by worshiping my
body."

Perhaps because he was so short, Bilbo started at the stomach.  He kissed
and licked the mountains and valleys of Elrond's abdominal muscles.  He
slid his hands across the thick amber liquid, which was oily to the touch.
"Reach up, Mr. Baggins. Massage the oil into my pecs."  Bilbo did as
instructed, fondling and kneading the elf lord's thick chest while making
his body glow with a slick sheen.  Elrond, groaned at the deep massage.
"Now, work my nipples with your mouth."  Bilbo licked higher until he was
lapping at a hard bump of flesh sitting atop a mountain of muscle.  The oil
tasted of olives and nuts and mixed with the sweet flavor of Elrond's skin.
"Suck it in deep, and work the tip with your tongue and lips," Elrond
ordered.  "Yes, that's right.  Harder!  Now, light flicks of the tongue.
Tease me.  Make me wet and hard."  Bilbo's mouth slipped and slid and
tweaked each of Elrond's hard nipples.  "Now work your way to my arm pits"
Elrond instructed.  Bilbo followed his hands upward until the little hobbit
was almost hanging from Elrond's arms.  He licked and inhaled the warmth of
Elrond's armpit, sending tingling shivers through Elrond's body.

"Good, Mr. Baggins," Elrond said with a smile.  "You have talented hands
for exploring the male body.  But how are you with a penis?" Elrond gently
guided Bilbo's head down to the elf lord's crotch.  His thick shaft was
tipped with a shiny pink head, plump like a ripe piece of fruit. "Make me
anticipate the warmth of your mouth." Elrond ordered.  Bilbo kissed the
drooling piss slit, sucking the elf's silvery precum into his mouth.  It
tasted like honey and jasmine.  Bilbo licked all along the shaft and then
hovered at the base of the head and lapped rhythmically to entice more
delicious fluid out of the cock.  Elrond closed his eyes and groaned.  "The
dwarves have taught you well," he said, starting to breathe heavily.  "Now,
give me your throat."  Bilbo obeyed, and let the thick head pass his lips.
"Make a tight seal," Elrond instructed.  "Make your lips massage the head
of my penis every time I penetrate your mouth."  Bilbo kept his lips tight,
as he bobbed his head on Elrond's cock, slurping ever more of the elf's
intoxicating juice. Elrond grabbed the back of Bilbo's head and slowly
forced the entire shaft down Bilbo's throat.  Bilbo controlled his
breathing and gag reflex and soon had the entire thick pole swallowed to
the hilt.  "Very good, Mr. Baggins.  You are quite extraordinary!" Elrond
exclaimed as he withdrew his dick from Bilbo's sucking lips with a pop.
"Now again!"  Elrond shoved his cock down Bilbo's throat with one smooth
motion and out and in again, forcing Bilbo to work the entire length of the
cock with his mouth.  "In all my long years, you are one of the best mouths
to take my cock, Mr. Baggins." Bilbo slurped and gurgled with pride and
pleasure.  Elrond increased his pace face-fucking the hobbit.  His
breathing became labored, and he forced Bilbo's mouth all the way to his
balls before releasing his seed. Streams of cum poured directly down
Bilbo's throat before Elrond allowed Bilbo to pull away and savor the sweet
cream on his tongue.  Bilbo eagerly licked Elrond's cock clean.

"Your moth is well trained, master hobbit, but how is your other hole?"
asked Elrond.

"Even more eager than my mouth for training, Master Elrond," Bilbo
exclaimed.

"Excellent!" Elrond replied.  "Now turn over, and spread your legs."  Bilbo
did as instructed and made himself spread eagle on the bed.  He shivered at
the cold ointment Elrond poured on his back.  Elrond worked the oil into
Bilbo's back, slowly kneading his way down to the hobbit's plump ass.
Elrond rubbed Bilbo's butt until each cheek gleamed.  He spread the lightly
fuzzy orbs wide and bent down to gently kiss Bilbo's anal lips. Bilbo
shivered in delight.  Elrond inhaled the light but unfamiliar musk of
hobbit ass.  Elrond sucked at the puckered flesh, teasing the entrance to
open for his tongue.

"You have a very warm and inviting hobbit hole, Mr. Baggin." Elrond said
between slurps on Bilbo's tender anus.

"Please, come inside, Master Elrond!" begged Bilbo.

"Presently, my eager little hobbit," Elrond replied with a silver laugh.
He poured more of the amber oil, this time direction onto Bilbo's ass hole.
Bilbo moaned as Elrond penetrated him with two fingers, gently massaging
the viscous liquid deep into the hobbit's relaxed butt.  Bilbo's hole ached
to be fucked, and he arched his back and thrust his rear end up and back
onto Elrond's probing fingers.  Elrond anointed his throbbing cock in oil
and stroked the long shaft to fully coat it.  He removed his fingers from
the hobbit's hungry butt and replaced it with his cock.  "Open yourself to
my cock!" Elrond commanded.  The thick gleaming head passed Bilbo's
sphincter with ease, and the full eight inches slipped into Bilbo, causing
the hobbit to cry out in pleasure at the fullness in his bowels.  Elrond
proceeded to fuck Bilbo with long smooth strokes, undulating his hips over
the little hobbit and pressing Bilbo's raging erection into the bed.  The
oil made Bilbo's ass more slippery than ever before.  The fucking was
effortless, almost frictionless, but for the amazing pressure building deep
within Bilbo's loins.  Bilbo gasped with pleasure, as he used his ass
muscles to squeeze and massage the giant cock relentlessly pushing inside
him.  The motion was so continuous and smooth, like ocean waves lapping at
his prostate, that he was soon shuddering and pumping his hobbit semen into
the sheets of the bed.  Elrond threw back his head and moaned as he emptied
himself into the hobbit for the second time.  Silvery ropes of elf seed
dripped from Bilbo's ass and ran down his taint to the sheets below.
Elrond withdrew his still rock hard cock.  Bilbo turned over, panting.

"I'm so sorry, Master Elrond," Bilbo lamented.  "I'm afraid I've cum all
over your sheets!"

"All part of the training, my dear hobbit," Elrond whispered, as he
embraced Bilbo and kissed the hobbit on the neck.  Bilbo, moaned
lightly. He reached down and massaged his seeping ass hole, collecting the
silver elf cum on his fingers before rubbing the silky smooth seed over his
cock.  "Still hungry for more, Mr. Baggins?" the elf lord asked.  Bilbo
nodded.  "Good!" Elrond exclaimed.  "Then no need to wait for the next part
of your training."

Elrond lay on the bed on his stomach, the arch of his back rolling into the
perfect mounds of his smooth buttocks.  He handed Bilbo the vial of oil.
"Anoint me, Mr. Baggins," Elrond directed.  Bilbo did as he was told and
dribbled the amber fluid along the elf's spine until it pooled in the
dimples just above Elrond's ass crack.  Bilbo worked the oil into Elrond's
skin until it glowed like gold.  "Good.  Now deeper, and...lower" Elrond
commanded.  Bilbo worked the oil over Elrond's round and muscular butt
cheeks:.  The shine from the oil allowed Bilbo to see his reflection in
those two golden orbs.  With each hand, Bilbo spread them apart to open the
perfectly smooth valley between them.  "Yes, deeper," Elrond moaned.  Bilbo
dribbled more oil down the ass crack and started to work it into Elrond's
tight and smooth sphincter.  The elf cooed, as Bilbo massed the ring of
muscle that guarded the entrance into the elf lord's body.  Without even
trying, Bilbo slipped one of his fingers into the snug orifice.  The ring
squeezed his finger drawing it deeper into the velvety darkness.  Elrond
undulated his hips, stroking Bilbo's finger with his muscle ass.  "Now, one
more lesson," moaned Elrond.  Again, from beneath the bed he produced
something Bilbo had never seen before.  It looked almost like a dagger,
with a long handle and hilt, although at closer inspection, he couldn't
tell which was the handle and which the blade.  Indeed it seemed to have no
blade, but instead a thick phallus emerged from the hilt with bumps and
ridges.  The entire object was a shiny black.  Bilbo took it in his hand.
It was a material he had never felt before.  Flexible, but not too
flexible, and soft, but not too soft

"What is it?" Bilbo asked in wonder.

"It is a pleasure device, Mr. Baggins," Elrond replied.  "Now coat it in
oil and insert it into my rectum."  Bilbo did as he was told, pressing the
rubbery phallus against the elf lord's oiled sphincter.  Elrond released a
satisfied sigh, as the large black head past his anal lips.  The tender
flesh stretched around the thick phallus, hugging it and drawing it further
inside.  "Fuck me!" Elrond commanded.  Bilbo pumped the dildo into Elrond's
perfect butt, the shiny black rod disappearing and emerging from between
two golden ass cheeks.  "Ah!" Elrond moaned, as Bilbo plunged the depths of
his insides.  Each pump on the dildo forced the elf lord's aching butt hole
to open and close and massaged his sweet spot inside.  Elrond was panting
with pleasure.  "Now, Mr. Baggins, you climb on the other end."  At first
Bilbo didn't understand, but then he realized that the handle was also
shaped like a fat cock.  He oiled it up and turned so that he knelt above
Elrond, ass to ass.  Bilbo lowered his hungry anus onto the black pole,
forcing the bulbous black head inside.  Bilbo squatted lower until the
black phallus was inserted to the hilt, and the littler hobbit rested his
ass on the buttocks of the elf lord.  Instinctively, Bilbo knew what to do.
He bounced his ass up and down on the dildo, slapping his cheeks against
Elrond's until their ass holes nearly kissed.  As he lifted his hips,
Bilbo's ass clenched the dildo drawing it up with him and out of Elrond's
hole.  Then he drove the thick black cock back inside both their asses as
he slammed his butt back down.  The two moaned and panted in unison as
Bilbo fucked both their holes on the dildo.  The slippery anal massage was
growing too intense for Bilbo.  His cries of ecstasy were growing more
urgent, and the pressure built up inside him made him feel like his cock
would explode with cum.  Elrond heard the need to cum in Bilbo's moans.
"Keep going!  I'm almost there.  Just keep going!" the elf yelled.

"Uhngh," Bilbo moaned, his eyes rolling back in his head.  "It's so good."
He willed his cock to hold its seed a little longer, as he continued to
impale both their asses.  In a few moments, he felt Elrond convulse beneath
him, and Bilbo could resist no longer and spilled his cum once again as the
elf pumped his sweet spunk all over the bed.  Bilbo slipped the dildo out
of his ass.

The two lay on the bed catching their breath.  After a few moments, Elrond
asked, "Ready to join the others?" with a wink.

Back in the main hall, the dwarves were still going full force.  Bombur was
on his back with a muscle bound blond elf plowing the dwarf's chubby hole.
Oozing streams of elf cum seeped past the thick cock pistoning in and out
of his hungry ass.  Bombur's moans were muffled by another elf sitting on
his face.  Bifur was licking the ass hole of the elf fucking his cousin,
lapping at the tasty orifice every time the elf's hips pulled back.  Bofur,
meanwhile, was sucking Bombur's dick while being fucked from behind by
another elf.  Oin and Gloin were still with the flame haired elf.  The elf
was standing on one foot, with his other leg over Gloin's shoulder, his
body as a right angle with the floor.  Gloin was busy thrusting his thick
dwarf meet into the elf's willing hole, while Oin fed him dwarf dick in his
mouth.  Fili and Kili had formed a twin elf sandwich.  Fili was on his back
on the ground, his cock thrust into the tight and tender ass of an elf
lying on top of him.  The elf was in a deep throating sixy-nine position
with his twin, tasting his own dick on his identical brother.  Kili was on
the top plowing the ass of the upper twin and gently rubbing his hard
dwarvish nipples.  Balin was on his back, hands behind his head and
straddled by a bronzed skinned elf.  The old dwarf smiled in delight as the
elf impaled himself onto Balin's thick dwarf meat.  The elf's strong thighs
strained as he bobbed up and down on dwarf cock, and his perfectly sculpted
eyebrows arched in ecstasy, as Balin's cock sent waves of pleasure thought
the elf's body.  Dwalin was nearby with two elves of his own.  They were
both on all fours, presenting their hungry ass holes between perfect
bubbles of ass cheeks.  The dwarf vigorous thrust into the tight hole of
one elf, while fingering the hole of the other.  The elf with Dwalin's cock
up his ass was moaning and shouting and pressing his hips back against the
dwarf's raging thrusts, while the other begged Dwalin to fuck him some
more.  Dwalin soon obliged and switched out one warm tight rectum for the
other, pleasuring each elf in turn.  Ori was on his hands and knees busy
sucking down a thick elf cock, while another elf savored the strong flavor
of Ori's puckered ass.  Each of these elves were being fucked by Ori's
bothers Noori and Dori, creating an elf-dwarf chain, from cock to ass and
dick to mouth.  Thorin was finishing with his three chosen elves.  The
dwarf king had one elf on his back, his legs slung over Thorin's wide
shoulders, and was thrusting his fat cock into the elf's spread butt hole.
Another elf was behind Thorin, lapping hungrily at the dwarf's hairy ass
trench.  The third straddled the elf on his back and fed his elf dick to
the dwarf king.  Bilbo could see glistening streams of dwarf cum running
out of each of the elf's used holes.

At the sight of frenzied breeding, Bilbo felt his cock harden once more.
Elrond, noticed the hobbit's impressive erection.  "One last lesson,
Mr. Baggins?"  Bilbo nodded excitedly.  Elrond got on the table on all
fours, his perfect muscle ass facing Bilbo.  The hobbit needed no further
invitation.  He climbed onto the table behind the elf lord and placed his
dick between Elrond's smooth oiled globes.  Bilbo's cock slid along
Elrond's glistening ass crack, guided directly to the elf's waiting hole.
The sphincter opened, readily enveloping Bilbo's hard cock in exquisite
warmth and tightness.  Bilbo let out a sigh and slowly started to pull his
dick in and out of the Elrond's sweet ass.  Elrond let out a groan as the
hobbit slid his cock in and out of his warm, slippery orifice.  Bilbo felt
the elf lord's ass squeeze and release his cock, almost sucking his dick
into the hungry ass.  The hobbit instinctively knew Elrond wanted more, and
he started to fuck Elrond's ass harder and faster.  As Bilbo worked up a
faster rhythm, he felt familiar strong hands stroking his chest.  Without
having to look, Bilbo knew that Thorin had filled has last elf with cum and
had wanted one final fuck from his burglar.  Without any ceremony, the
hobbit felt the dwarf king's familiar thick rod slide into his cum-lubed
ass hole.  The renewed pressure in his rectum made Bilbo gasp with delight.
Lust overcame Bilbo: his body took control as his mind reeled from the
sensations in his dick and ass.  He started to fuck with a ferocity he
didn't know he had, thrusting fully in and out of Elrond with audible pops
has his head crested the elf's tight sphincter.  His wild bucking squeezed
and stroked Thorin's cock until all three were climaxing, convulsing and
shooting their hot loads.

Thorin and company stayed and enjoyed the pleasures of Rivendell for a few
more days, but time was short and they were soon ascending the valley and
returning to the wilderness.  Bilbo wondered if he was ever to know such
comfort again.  But while they may have been leaving the last homely house,
he wondered even more what adventures lay ahead.

To be continued...

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