Date: Fri, 30 Dec 2005 23:23:38 -0700
From: Zac Wack <ac_zay@hotmail.com>
Subject: Zac and Taylor

Okay here's the crap you should already know but I must say: This is 
fiction. It does not imply the sexualities of any of the parties mentioned 
in the story. I do not know the Hansons.

This will be a continuing story centering on Taylor and Zac Hanson. Do send 
feedback...hate mail...whatever. ac_zay@hotmail.com

--------------------------

Prologue

   My brothers and I have always been close. We grew up around each other 
all the time. I guess that's what happens when you're in a band together. 
Most of the time we liked being around each other, though there were always 
the quarrels and fighting. We made sure not to take sides when that 
happened.

   When we actually made it in the music business, we could barely believe 
it. We knew rejection all too well, and we knew how difficult it was to 
succeed in such a profession. It came so much quicker than any of us could 
have expected, and the next few years of our lives couldn't have been 
anticipated.

   Fame changed us all. Anyone that has experienced fame and says otherwise 
is lying. It's a lifestyle like no other. It has its ups, and it has plenty 
of downs. I ended up being the one that struggled with it the most. I mean, 
I was eleven years old when suddenly the entire world knew who we were and 
we had thousands and thousands of fans all over the world. I grew up in that 
surrounding.

   It was amazing, it was horrible.

   Sometimes I long for the childhood I never had. I missed a lot. But I 
also experienced a lifetime. While my peers were in school learning about 
France, I was in Paris seeing it. While they were developing their first 
real crushes, I was being plastered on thousands of girls' walls. While they 
were learning Algebra, I was being interviewed by people like David 
Letterman and Jay Leno.

   But while they were making lifelong friends, I was seeing different faces 
every day. While they were going to school dances, I was stuck on a bus in 
some random state. While they were hanging out and going to movies, my 
brothers and I were practicing or performing. When they were coming into 
their own and gaining freedom, I was being isolated.

   It didn't come as a surprise when I found myself glancing in my brother 
Taylor's direction a little too often and for a little too long, but I hated 
myself for it. The thing is, I wasn't and am not gay. At the time I had 
never been attracted to a guy before. I'd had girlfriends, and they weren't 
to cover anything up. I liked girls; I still do.

   But my attraction to a guy was growing...and to make things worse, that 
guy was my brother.

   What most people don't understand is that we didn't grow up as brothers. 
The day we became famous is like the day we were all born. We were band 
members and business partners, but above all else, we were friends. Much of 
the time it didn't feel like I was performing with my brothers. From the 
time I was about thirteen on, our fights were less and less. It was like we 
weren't brothers anymore.

   It wasn't a sad thing though. It was very natural.

   My feelings for Taylor began developing in an odd time. I was fifteen and 
Taylor had just had what we would come to refer to as a breakdown.

   Though fame hit me the hardest, it was Taylor who suffered the most. He 
felt such a heavy weight on his shoulders to always be perfect in everything 
that he and we did.

   Such a beautiful, self-destructive creature.

   Our bus driver had found Taylor passed out on the floor of the bus by his 
bunk one night after a performance. Taylor had immediately left the venue 
and gotten on the bus after the show, but that wasn't unlike Taylor. He 
would often go back over the whole show and mentally beat himself up for the 
tiniest of errors.

   This particular night, though, was different.