Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2012 10:15:18 -0400
From: Ronyx <ronyx@woh.rr.com>
Subject: A Delicate Situation   Chapter 13

The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities to anyone are purely
coincidental. The story is intended for a mature audience. It may contain
profanity and references to gay sex. If this offends you, please leave and
find something more suitable to read. The author maintains all rights to
the story. Do not copy or use without written permission. Write
ronyx@themustardjar.com with your comments. Ronyx is a prolific Nifty
author. Visit my personal website at www.themustardjar.com for more
stories.


A Delicate Situation          Chapter 13


"Would you stand still?" My mother admonished me as she attempted to
straighten my tie. We were in a room backstage waiting for my father to
conclude his speech before the convention. He had been speaking for twenty
minutes before a packed arena. He was frequently interrupted with standing
ovations.

"My tie is fine," I insisted as I walked over to a mirror and pulled it
tighter to my neck. I wanted to dress more casual, but Leo had insisted
that it would look more appropriate if I was dressed in a dark blue suit,
pale blue shirt with a red tie. Looking at my father on the big screen
television, I was dressed almost exactly as he was. Leo had mentioned that
I perhaps should cut my long hair, but I refused. I told him I wouldn't
attend the convention if I had to do that.

I don't know why I let Seth, Sydney and Jade talk me into coming. I didn't
want to, but they kept persisting until I finally relented. They knew that
my father and I didn't get along, and they thought it might be a way for us
to finally reconcile.

"Maybe it won't be so bad," Jade had said. "He knows you're gay, and he
wants you to be with him when he's nominated."

"It's all political," I replied. "He just doesn't want to have to explain
why his only child wasn't on stage with him."

"Well," insisted Sydney. "I think it's a great idea. This could be a new
beginning for you. Besides," she giggled as she stepped forward and brushed
the hair from my eyes, "the world will see how cute a son Senator Gale
has."

"More likely they'll see he has a gay son," I replied somberly.

"Maybe that's a good thing," Seth volunteered. "It is 2012, and things have
changed. It could be a step forward for gay rights."

"Gay rights," I said sarcastically. "They only bring up the issue during
every election. Afterwards, it will be put in mothballs for four years
until they drag it back out again."

"I think it's wonderful," added Jade, "that you're having a coming out
before the whole nation." She walked over and gripped my hand. "You'll be a
role model for a lot of young men. Besides," she grinned, "it could get you
a boyfriend."

"Yeah, right," I replied as I pulled my hand away. "Leo has given me strict
instructions I'm not to mention my sexuality to anyone. If someone from the
media asks, I'm supposed to say `no comment.'"

"I called Adam," Seth said cheerfully. "He's going to be watching. He
thinks I'm really lucky to have you as a roommate." He started
grinning. "He wants to meet you someday."

"Oh, no," I moaned as I looked over at Jade. "Not you too!"

"He has a boyfriend," responded Seth. "He just wants to meet you."

"Damn," muttered Jade.

I was now backstage waiting for my father to finish his speech. I kept
pacing around the room while my mother sat watching my father on the
television. She asked, "Isn't he wonderful?"

I looked over at the monitor. Wonderful wasn't the adjective I'd use to
describe him. However, I had to admit he was doing a good job. The
convention audience was cheering wildly to almost every statement he
made. I also felt a little remorse because he was everything I was not. He
was tall, handsome and self-assured. His countenance demanded dignity and
authority.

I glanced over at my mother. I didn't even resemble her. She was taller
than I was, and her build was rather stocky. I think I inherited my
grandmother's looks. She was small like me. She and my grandfather were
seated in a dignitary section of the convention hall. My grandfather was
wealthy, but I don't think he had the money my father did. He had formed an
import company after the Vietnam War, and he made his money importing goods
from Asia. In the mid 80's, my father took over the company and began
importing and exporting goods to other parts of the world, especially South
America and the Middle East. He still owned the company; however, when he
became a member of Congress, he placed it in a blind trust. For a brief
time, I think my father and grandfather expected me to someday take over
the family business, but I never had a desire to do so. My dad's youngest
brother, Carl, who was sitting in the audience beside my grandparents, was
an executive vice president of the company. He was being groomed to take
over the business someday.

Suddenly, the door opened and a young woman peered in. "You have ten
minutes until you go onstage." My mother politely thanked her, and she
closed the door.

Mother rose from the sofa and walked over to me. I stepped back when she
reached up and pushed a strand of stray hair from my forehead. "You've
grown up so fast," she said as tears misted her eyes. "It just seems like
only yesterday you were learning to walk."

"I guess all children do," I remarked sharply as I turned and looked at
myself in the mirror. I looked at her when she stepped up beside me and
looked at my reflection.

"I know you're not happy, Dorian," she said tearfully. I started to agree,
but a lump suddenly formed in my throat and I had to choke back my own
tears. "Perhaps, I haven't been the best mother in the world," she started
to cry, "but God knows I did the best I could." She reached out for me, but
I stepped away. She looked up at my father who was beginning to conclude
his speech. The audience was cheering wildly. "It wasn't easy at times." I
fought back tears as she walked over to a box of tissue on a table, took
one out and wiped her eyes dry.

She turned to me and said sadly, "Maybe someday you'll understand and
forgive me."

I was blinking away tears when she took another tissue from the box, walked
over and handed it to me. "I didn't mean to upset you before we go
onstage. Perhaps, we can talk later." I wiped my eyes dry and nodded. I
wanted her to put her arms around me and hold me, but she didn't. She
walked back over to the television and watched as my father concluded his
speech.

The door opened and the young woman announced, "It's time for you to go on
stage. Follow me, please." She led us down a narrow hallway until we were
standing just a few feet from where my father was extending his arms and
waving to the cheering crowd. When he turned to look for us, the young
woman gently pushed on my back and told us to go join him on the stage.

I squinted as I crossed the stage holding my mother's hand. She had grabbed
it just as we went out. I think she knew that if she had done it backstage,
I would have pulled away. My father had probably suggested that she do it
in order to show that we were a happy family. He turned and smiled as we
approached. He kissed my mother on the cheek, and then he lightly embraced
me. "Smile, Dorian," he ordered in my ear as he pulled away, grabbed my
hand and enthusiastically extended it into the air. The crowd roared their
approval for the devoted family standing before them on the stage.

I wasn't quite sure how he'd react to seeing me. I had arrived the night
before, but he was on a different floor than the one my mother and I were
assigned. We were told his was more secure, and the secret service had it
sealed off from visitors. My mother said he was also up most of the night
meeting party dignitaries and working on his speech. We probably wouldn't
have gotten any sleep.

I looked out onto the crowd who were standing, shouting his name and waving
signs that read Gale for Vice President. It seemed so surreal to me. I
despised him so much; however, tens of thousands of people were cheering
loudly for him. I looked over and watched as he soaked in the adulation. It
was obvious that our presence on the stage had been scripted because he was
aware of where everyone was. My mother stood beside him with her arm around
his waist. His father and mother were standing beside her. My Uncle Carl
was next in line, and I was delegated to a place at the end. I guess he
wanted me to be far away from him so that I wouldn't appear in any close-up
shots.

As I stood motionless, I wondered if my friends back at school were
watching me. Seth had told me before I left to hold up two thumbs so he
would know that gesture was intended for him, Sydney and Jade. When I
noticed a CNN camera pan towards me, I did it. I could just imagine
everyone laughing wildly back at my dorm room.

After about ten minutes, a loud roar erupted from the convention hall. I
turned to see Governor Caswell enter from the side of the stage. He
approached me and gripped my hand. "Thank you for being here tonight,
Dorian," he said as he moved on to my uncle and began chatting briefly with
him. It surprised me because I had never met Caswell before, and I wasn't
aware that he knew who I was. But then I remembered Leo's conversation
earlier in which he said I had been the subject of much debate. So I
assumed he knew I was Senator Gale's gay son. It still surprised me how
genuinely glad he was to see me.

I watched as he approached my father and they embraced. He and my father
then joined hands and dramatically held them up to a roaring audience. It
appeared that the conventioneers had been prepared for his arrival, because
soon red, white and blue Caswell/Gale signs began to fill the convention
hall. Shivers ran down my back, and goose bumps appeared on my arms as I
wondered if I was looking at the future president and vice president of the
United States. The crowd certainly seemed to think they were. I wasn't sure
if I was pleased with the idea. My life had already been miserable as a
senator's son. I could only imagine how unbearable it would be if he did
become vice president.

My father and Governor Caswell paraded across the stage, waving at members
in the audience. At one point, my mother and Mrs. Caswell were motioned
forward to join them. I expected my father to motion for me to join them,
but he didn't. In fact, neither he nor my mother looked back at me. Even
though I hated being in the limelight, it still disappointed
me. Disappointment was soon replaced by regret and hatred. My father had
used me to make it appear before the world that he was a loving father. I
was no more than a prop on the stage. He could have had a staff member
create a cardboard image of me and placed it on the stage. No one would
have known the difference.

When the cheering crowd began to die down, aides directed us off
stage. Governor Caswell and my father led the way toward the back. I was
last, and no one seemed to even notice that I was part of the group on the
stage. Secret service surrounded the governor, his wife and my parents. I
was pushed further toward the back. Not once did they turn to see if I was
with them.

I stopped and watched them exit through a side door. I waited a few minutes
until I was sure their limousines had pulled away. I then exited the
building, went outside and hailed a cab. I had her take me to the
airport. I then booked a flight back to school.

It was after three in the morning when I finally arrived at my room. I
couldn't book a direct flight, so I had a two-hour stopover in
Atlanta. Then after arriving at the airport, it took over a half hour
before I could get a cab to bring me back to school. I unlocked the door
and dropped my luggage to the floor.

Seth emerged from the bedroom in his boxers as he wiped sleep from his
eyes. "What are you doing here?" he asked. "I wasn't expecting you until
Sunday."

"My plans changed," I replied sharply as I took off my blue suit jacket and
tossed it across the arm of the sofa. I then kicked off my shoes, unbuckled
my pants and let them fall to the floor. I picked them up and folded them
before laying them atop my jacket.

Seth stepped toward me and asked concernedly, "What happened, Dorian?"

I pulled out the sofa bed, drew back the sheet and climbed wearily into
bed. "Can we talk about this in the morning?" Seth watched as I pulled the
sheet over my head to avoid him seeing me cry. A minute later, he turned
out the light and went back to his bedroom.

I might as well have stayed up because I got little sleep. My mind kept
playing over and over the image of my mother and father standing together
on the podium while I remained silently in the background. I always knew
that I was just someone who lived in the same house with them. I was a
stranger that they avoided. However, reality hit me on that stage. It
didn't matter what I did in my life, I'd never be anything more than a
stranger to them.

An intense feeling of hatred consumed me. I had always hated my father,
even at a young age I never felt any love for him. I had never been a part
of his life. While other boys played baseball with their fathers, my father
was never at home. He was either in Washington, or away on congressional
junkets. The rare times he was at home, he never showed any interest or
compassion toward me.

However, backstage at the convention center alone with my mother, I began
to understand that she, too, was no different than my father. We had shared
very few words together. I'm sure she was aware of the trouble I was having
at school. She must have heard about the incident in the dorm. However, not
once did she ask me if I was all right. In fact, she seemed to avoid asking
me anything at all about school. Her apology to me for not being a good
mother was more for her own absolution than it was a means of trying to
explain her actions. Before, I had always loved my mother. Now she was no
better than him. The tears I shed during the night were tears of
remorse. My love for her had been replaced with the same hatred I felt for
my father.

By morning, I was a changed person. I finally faced the reality. I had
never been, nor would ever be, a part of my parents' life. Just as they had
ignored me on the stage, they had ignored me since I was a small child. If
I had to make it through life, then I would have to do it without them. I
arose in the morning from my bed with a new sense of freedom.

I left the room early before Seth got out of bed. It was Friday, but since
I'd been excused from attending my classes, I decided to take my first step
toward my new life. I made my way to a Panera Bread cafe located on the
campus and ordered a cup of coffee. When the girl behind the counter handed
it to me, I asked her if I could have a job application. She called over
the manager, a small, older woman. She gave me a scrutinizing look as she
asked me if I had ever had experience working in a restaurant. I told her I
hadn't, but I was a quick learner. She reached under the counter and handed
me an application and a pen. When I returned it to her fifteen minutes
later, she asked me to join her at a booth.

"Why do you want to work at Panera Bread?" she asked me as she sat staring
across the table at me.

I nervously replied, "I need the money."

"Are you a student?" I nodded my head. She then asked, "Don't you think
working here will affect your grades?"

"I'm a good student," I assured her. "I'm willing to work any hours you can
assign me. If the job becomes a problem, then you can cut back my hours." I
looked pleadingly at her.

She let a smile form in the corner of her mouth. "Okay," she said. "I'll
give you a try."

"Thank you," I said excitedly. "You won't regret it."

"I hope not," she replied. "Can you begin tonight? I need someone to work
the night shift."

"Sure," I said happily. "What time?"

She rose from her seat. "Be here at six sharp. Not a minute later." I got
up and whistled a tune as I strolled back happily to my room.

"You did what?" shrieked Jade when I told her I had a job. She had called
earlier to ask me to join her, Seth and Sydney for lunch. "But why?"

"I need the money," I insisted.

"You need the money!" she replied excitedly. "Your father is wealthier than
some countries. Why do you need money?"

"That's just it, Jade," I said. "It's his wealth, not mine."

"But still..." I interrupted her before she tried to convince me not to
work.

"I cut up my credit card this morning," I informed her. "Now I need a job."

"What! Why did you do that?"

"I know you don't understand," I replied, "but I've got to make it on my
own someday. Now is as good a time as any."

She sat back and stared at me. "What happened yesterday? Seth said you came
in about three o'clock last night and went straight to bed."

I turned my head and muttered, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Dorian, please," she begged as she grabbed my hand and squeezed
it. "You're doing it again. You're shutting people out."

"Look," I replied as I blinked tears from my eyes. "I'm not shutting you
out. I just think it's time I started living my own life."

"You're supposed to do that after you graduate," she said worriedly. "Are
you sure you can work and keep up your grades in school?"

"If I can't," I informed her, "then I'll drop out of school."

"And work at Panera Bread the rest of your life!"

"Shift managers make almost ten dollars an hour," I replied.

"Jesus, Dorian," she sighed. "Your father is a millionaire, and you're
going to work a minimum wage job?"

"Yep," I replied proudly as I sat back and smiled. "I am."

Seth and Sydney soon joined us, and they spent the rest of lunch trying to
talk me out of my crazy idea, as Jade called it. However, I knew that if I
ever wanted to start living my own life, then I'd have to give up my former
one. Weighing my options, that seemed like a no brainer. I hated who I was,
and I was looking forward to a new me- no matter if I did have to work to
achieve it.

After lunch, I decided to go back to the room and sleep while the others
headed off to class. If I was going to work all night, then I needed to get
some rest. Seth came in around four, and again tried to talk me out of
working.

"Everyone has held a job except me," I said. "Even you said you worked as a
caddy on the golf course before you came here."

"My dad isn't your dad," he remarked.

"My dad isn't your dad, either," I replied sadly. "Besides, I don't want
his money. As far as I'm concerned, he isn't my father anymore."

Seth asked, "What brought all this on? Last night you looked like the
perfect family on television."

"Exactly what he wanted us to look like," I snapped back. "When the cameras
weren't on, he didn't even know I existed. He never even spoke to me,
except to tell me to smile for the camera."

"Maybe he had a lot on his mind," suggested Seth. "He did have a speech to
give." He started smiling. "And you looked really great up there." He
laughed when I rolled my eyes. "I'm serious," he insisted. "Me, Jade,
Sydney and Amanda all said how cute you were." His face started to
redden. "Well, they said cute. I didn't."

"I know," I replied smilingly.

"Oh, yeah," he added. "Adam thought you were cute, too." Now it was my time
to blush.

"I better get ready," I said as I headed for the bathroom to shower. "I'll
try not to wake you when I come in tonight."

"No," he stated. "It's okay. If you need someone to talk to, just wake me
up. Okay?" I nodded and headed to the bathroom. He was gone by the time I
came back out. I guess he had left to join the others for dinner. In a way,
it was something I would miss. However, I needed to work so I could be
free. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make.

As I was getting ready to walk out the door, my cell phone rang. It was my
mother. I refused to answer it. A moment later, she called back, so I took
the call. I didn't want her calling me at work and interrupting my first
night on the job. "Hello, Mother," I said dryly into the phone.

She asked excitedly, "Where are you? I've been worried sick."

I looked at my watch. It was a little past five. I had been gone for more
than a day and a half, and she was just now calling to find out where I
was. "I'm in my room at school."

"Why on earth would you be there?" she asked. "You're supposed to be with
your father and me. We're getting ready to have dinner with the Governor
and Janice."

"And you just now wonder where I am?"

"Well, no," she hesitated before continuing. "I did wonder why you never
came back to the room last night. Why did you leave?"

"Really, Mother?" I asked sarcastically. "You didn't even know I was gone,
and you wonder why I came back here?"

"Dorian," she began to apologize, "We really did have a busy schedule,
and..." I hung up, turned off the phone and placed it on the coffee table
when I left the room.

My body was trembling when I opened the door to the restaurant and
entered. Jill, the manager who interviewed me, stepped around the counter
and smiled. "There you are," she said warmly. "Most students who interview
for a job have second thoughts and never return. I figured you to be one of
those."

"No, Ma'am," I replied nervously. "I'm ready to work."

She smiled and said, "Excellent." I followed her behind the counter as she
introduced me to some of the other workers. Most appeared to be students
much older than me. Two of the girls looked at each other and giggled when
I was introduced to them. I followed Jill to her office. "Here," she said
as she handed me a baseball cap with Panera Bread embroidered on it, and an
apron with the same emblem. "I'm not going to have you doing too much for a
couple of days. I just want you to watch the girls prepare the sandwiches
and learn. I'll train you on a register next week." She looked at me and
smiled. "Ready?"

I nodded and replied, "Ready." I then followed her out into the kitchen
area. She informed me I'd be working with Anita for the first night. Anita
was a tall girl, and she appeared to be a junior or senior. She wasn't
friendly at first, but as the night wore on, we began to talk more.

"You learn fast, Sweetie," she said after I had helped her prepare a Cuban
Chicken Panini for an elderly woman. She looked like she might have been a
professor.

"Thanks," I replied proudly. Even though I was beginning to get tired, I
was happy my first night was going well. She then reached past me to get a
slice of Swiss cheese. When she did, her breast rubbed against my arm, and
I immediately stepped back.

"Just what I thought," she remarked as she continued to make an Italian
combo.

"What?" I asked as I continued to watch her.

"All the cute ones are always gay."

"What!"

"It's okay, Sweetie," she laughed as she handed me the sandwich to give to
the boy who was eagerly awaiting it. "We always make a bet when we get a
new hire." She laughed and pointed to a red haired girl a few feet away
scooping out a ladle of broccoli cheddar soup. Her arm was adorned with
various tattoos. "Scooter won ten dollars." She laughed again. "She always
wins because she's a dyke, and she claims to have gaydar."

I didn't know what to say. Other than my friends at school, I had never
openly discussed my sexuality. Anita's comments were making me feel
uncomfortable.

She began preparing a chopped chicken cobb salad with avocado. She suddenly
stopped and we exchanged places. "You're a smart guy, so you might as well
learn," she remarked as she explained to me what to do. "Too much avocado,"
she warned me after I placed what I thought was a generous portion into the
salad. She laughed when I started to remove some. "Leave it," she
said. "but next time don't add so much."

We continued to work together for several more hours. She didn't question
me about being gay, but I felt a sense of freedom knowing that the staff
was aware of it, and no one seemed to mind. After all the years in high
school I had fretted about someone finding out I was gay, and now when they
did, no one seemed to care. I also didn't feel I had to hide it when a
couple of guys seemed to flirt with me when I gave them their order. One
really cute guy even gave me a quick wink when I handed him his salad. I
was so surprised, I didn't react fast enough to wink back.

It was close to midnight, and the café was beginning to empty. I was
told that we usually stay open until one, but sometimes on the weekend we'd
stay open longer if a crowd appeared late. Anita had asked me to wipe the
counter clean. Suddenly, a flash appeared in front of me. I looked up and
saw Jerry standing before me with his cell phone pointed toward me. After
another flash, he turned and fled the restaurant.


* * * * * * * *

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