Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2001 11:21:25 EDT
From: MystryAuthr@aol.com
Subject: Chapter 30 of All Lost Things

We get closer with every chapter. The end is in sight, probably within 3
more chapters. 33 is a good number, don't you think? Visit the website to
vote on my next project and find out more about Bleeding Hearts. Order your
autographed copy today. Email me with your comments at Aterovis@aol.com.

http://www.steliko.com/bleedinghearts

Chapter 30

	I was crouching in a musty corner of the barn behind a moldering
pile of straw waiting to see if my plan would work. There was a very good
chance I would get nothing for my efforts except a cramp in my leg. I was
glad I didn't have allergies, because even without them my nose was
starting to twitch. I warily watched a spider the size of a Volkswagen pick
its way towards me across the ground and wondered if I was going to have to
kill it and, if so, would I need a missile launcher to do so.

	I was distracted from my arachnidan thoughts by a scuffling noise
from the direction of the window. I ducked down lower and peered out to see
who my first arrival would be, all the while keeping an uneasy eye on my
eight-legged friend.

	Caleb's head and shoulders appeared in the window frame, then a
knee and soon the rest of him followed. He dropped to the floor and dusted
himself off. So far, so good. My plan was working just the way I expected
it to. I had known that my questions would rouse Caleb, and I had also
figured that he wouldn't be able to talk to anyone on the phone there with
Becky hovering over his shoulder. I had taken a chance that he would go to
the barn for his unscheduled meeting. My biggest question now was who would
be joining him here? Would it be Finn or Asher? Or had I missed someone
altogether? I didn't think I had though. If I was a gambling kind of guy I
would have laid money that it would be one of the two of them.

	Caleb settled down on an old upended bucket to wait and my mind
began to drift as the spider moved off into the shadows. A lot depended on
who showed up. I knew something was going on beneath the surface, beneath
what everyone had been telling me. Judy had told me, and my gut confirmed,
that someone was lying to me. All my instincts screamed that Caleb was
hiding something. But who was he conspiring with, and what were they
conspiring about? Did Asher and Caleb know who killed Ira? Could they be
working together to protect that person? That was the best case scenario as
far I was concerned. I could see Asher doing something like that if he
thought it was for the best, especially if Caleb cared about this person
very much.

	The other possibilities were a lot less attractive. Maybe Asher
really did know who killed Ira and really was protecting them...and maybe
that person was Caleb. Could Asher fall for a murderer? Maybe, if he felt
the murder was justified, as I was sure he would have convinced himself
this was.

	Or maybe Asher had killed Ira to protect the boy he was falling
for. That was the one I liked the least. I somehow couldn't bring myself to
really believe that, but the idea was still there, lurking like Novak's
malevolent sofa in the back of my mind. I'd suspected him of murder one
other time, of killing Seth in a jealous rage. He'd been so hurt that
time. It had taken a long time for us to heal from that wound. But part of
me knew that Asher could and would kill if he felt it was necessary to
protect someone he loved. I, of all people, knew that potential lay inside
all of us.

	But I couldn't forget about Finnegan. He still played into this
somehow. I wasn't as quick at coming up with scenarios when it came to
him. He could have been lying about Caleb coming to his house that
night. If he was, then what did he hope to gain from that? If he and Caleb
were sleeping together was it as casual as he'd led me to believe?

	Maybe Finn knew that Caleb had killed his father and he was
covering for the boy he loved. Or maybe Finn had killed Ira and that's how
he knew that Caleb hadn't. But why would Finn kill Ira? To protect Caleb?
It all seemed so far fetched. Maybe I was just wasting my time. I'd just
have to wait and see who showed up and what they said.

	I didn't have to wait long. A sound at the window caught my and
Caleb's attention at the same time. He stood up and I shifted to get a
better view while trying to keep myself out of their line of sight. Caleb
went to help whoever it was through the window and for a moment I couldn't
see who it was. Finally he stepped back and I found myself looking into the
heart-shaped face of Finnegan Byrne. I noticed I relaxed a bit when I saw
who it was, although I knew it didn't necessarily mean anything as far as
Asher was concerned.

	"Ok, what the hell was so important that I had to drop what I was
doing and rush over here?" Finn grumbled as he smoothed down his bright
plaid shorts.

	"You told Killian that we were best friends and lovers?" Caleb
demanded angrily. Finn opened his mouth to explain but Caleb didn't give
him a chance. "That wasn't in the plan," he rushed on. "You and your big
mouth. You could blow this whole thing."

	"Caleb, will you shut up for a minute," Finn finally managed to
say. "I didn't tell Killian that we were lovers or best friends. I did say
that we were friends who occasionally had sex."

	"You what?"

	"I had to say something. He knew about the condoms and stuff in the
barn. If I was going to tell him you'd shown up at my house that night
there had to be a reason why you chose me over anyone else."

	"I think friends would have sufficed."

	"But I'd already taken him to the barn. What was I supposed to say?
I had to think fast, it's the best I could come up with."

	"Well now he's suspicious. He was going to go talk to Asher,
probably tell him everything."

	"So? You don't really need him anymore anyway. He served his
purpose."

	"It's not like that, Finn."

	"What do you mean? Then how is it?"

	"Asher's a really nice guy. I don't want to hurt him. He went out
on a limb to help me, risked his friendship with Killian, stuck by me
through everything. If it wasn't for him I'd still be in jail."

	"No, if it wasn't for me you'd still be in jail."

	"You know what I mean. Asher was there for me."

	"So send him a bouquet of roses and a thank you card."

	"Finn..."

	"Oh my God! Wait! You're not falling for him are you?"

	"It's not...I'm not..."

	"You are, aren't you?" Finn's voice had a strange tone to it that I
couldn't quite grasp. Was it just disbelief and surprise or was there
something deeper?

	 "Finn, look," Caleb sounded slightly desperate, "Asher's a good
friend, a very good friend, but that's all, really."

	"Have you kissed him?"

	Caleb blinked in surprise. "I..."

	"You have. You've kissed him. I bet he's fucked you too, hasn't
he?"

	My stomach clenched up as I waited for Caleb's answer. In that
moment I recognized the tone in Finn's voice, it was pain and jealousy. I
realized that Finn and Caleb's relationship was deeper than either of them
had let on.

	"No!" Caleb burst out. "Asher and I have never slept together." I
breathed a sigh of relief and wondered why it mattered so much. I was
seeing Micah now, after all. Right?

	"But you have kissed him," Finn pressed on.

	"I...yes. We've kissed."

	"How many times?"

	"What? It's not like I counted."

	"So you had to count, huh? Twice, three times, more?"

	"Finn, you're being stupid."

	"I'm being stupid? Well thanks a lot. I'm sorry. Sorry I thought we
had something special. Maybe I was right when I told Killian it was just a
random fuck because we were both horny. Is that all it was?"

	"No! You know it was more than that," Caleb sighed. "This thing
with Asher, it just happened. After everything he went through for me I
felt like I owed him something."

	"So you paid him with sex? What does that make you? A hooker? Maybe
you'll feel compelled to give him a little bonus for all his hard work. How
much is a piece of your ass worth? Apparently not as much as I thought."

	Caleb's eyes flashed with anger. "Fuck you, Finnegan. Why should I
expect you to understand? You never think about anyone but yourself."

	"Oh really? Nothing but myself, huh? Then why the hell did I do
what I did for you? Now I wish I'd left you to rot in jail like the scum
you are." He spun around and sailed through the window with the grace of a
cat. It didn't even look like he touched the frame at all.

	"Finn, wait!" Caleb called and ran to the window. "I'm sorry, I
didn't mean that."

	"I think you did," I heard him yell from outside.

	"But I love you."

	"It's a little late for that, don't you think?"

	"But Finn..."

	"Forget about it Caleb. You're on your own now. Have a great life
with Asher." Finn's angry voice was fading away as he spoke.

	Caleb stood staring after him for a minute then backed away from
the window and sat heavily on the ground. I decided I had seen enough. It
was time for a confrontation of some sort. I gathered my legs beneath me
and stood up dramatically. The effect was lost on Caleb, who was now crying
with his head in his hands.

	"What did he do for you?" I asked. Even though I had pitched my
voice low it sounded shockingly loud in the intense quiet left in Finn's
wake.

 	Caleb's head snapped up, his eyes wild. "What the fuck?" he
exploded as he scrambled to his feet.

	"I heard everything so there's no point denying anything," I said
before he could start.

	"You lying, sneaking bastard," he snarled.

	"It seems I'm not the only one doing the lying and sneaking. What
did Finn do for you? Lie to get you out of jail?"

	Caleb took a threatening step towards me but I didn't move. I may
not be big but I was Caleb's equal in size and slightly heavier. Plus I
figured my self-defense classes gave me an advantage if it came to a hand
to hand fight.

	"You might as well talk," I said. "It'll be easier to tell me then
to tell the cops."

	"I'm not telling you or anyone else anything," he spat. "You have
no proof; it'll be your word against mine and Finn's."

 	"You really think you can still count on Finn's help after that
scene?"

	"That was nothing, a little misunderstanding is all. He'll be there
for me, and so will Asher and you know it."

	"Funny you should bring him up. I'm not sure he will be there for
you when he hears what I just heard. I've known him a lot longer than you
have."

	"That's what this is all about, isn't it? You can't stand that I
have something with Asher and you don't. That's the whole reason you're
doing this."

	"Doing what? Trying to find out the truth? Nothing I'm doing has
anything to do with Asher," I said firmly, although part of me wondered how
accurate that was. "We're history, what we had is over. We've both moved
on. But we're still friends and I'm not about to let him get involved with
someone who has been lying to him and using him from day one."

	"Don't you dare act all self righteous with me. You used him just
as much as I did. He's told me everything about your little
relationship. It's obvious you only kept him around because you liked
having a boyfriend."

	"That's such a load of bullshit," I said heatedly, feeling myself
losing my fragile grip on my temper.

	"Is it? Think about it. Did you ever really love Asher?"

	"Yes I did, not that it's any of your damn business." Suddenly I
realized what the manipulative little jerk was trying to do. He was trying
to distract me and I was playing right into his plan. I gave myself a
disgusted shake and refocused on what I needed to know. "You've just been
using Asher like a pawn in your own personal little chess game. What's
really going on? What are you and Finn hiding? What did he do for you?"

	"You're not getting anything from me," he said through gritted
teeth. He spun on his heel and stalked towards the window. I covered the
distance between us in a few bounds and spun him around by the shoulder.

	His face was contorted with anger as he swung his fist at my
face. I caught his wrist and we grappled for a few seconds before he swept
my feet out from under me. I pulled him down with me and we started to
wrestle in earnest. It was quickly obvious that I had either overestimated
my abilities or underestimated Caleb's. I suspected it was the latter as I
was surprised at his wiry strength. Neither of us ever held the upper hand
for very long before the other managed to regain it. First I was on top
then he was on top, we wrapped around each other like a warped game of
Twister. Finally, just as I thought I was beginning to lose steam, I
managed to pin him down. I sat on his chest and used my knees to help pin
his arms down.

	"What are you trying to hide?" I panted. "You don't have to tell me
but you can be sure I'll find out one way or another."

	"Is that a threat?" Caleb said with a strange little half smile
twitching at the corner of his mouth.

	I frowned. "Take it however you want; a threat, promise, whatever."

	"Oh, I'm not worried all that much, Killian." He broke into a wide
grin and looked over my shoulder. Before I could turn around I heard
something whistling through the air. An explosion at the back of my head
was the last thing I remembered before total darkness took over.

* * *
	I came to with a pounding inside my skull that felt like something
had gotten trapped in there and was trying to beat its way out. I felt as
if my head would explode. I tried to open my eyes but the light sliced into
my brain like daggers and I quickly squeezed them shut again. I was afraid
to move for fear of setting off an even worse wave of pain, if possible.

	I gradually became aware of voices talking nearby. For a second I
couldn't remember what had happened or where I was, but the musty scent of
decaying straw brought everything back to me in a rush. Somewhere in my
addled brain I realized that it could very well be important that I listen
to what those voices were saying. I struggled to fight past the pain and
understand what was being said.

	"Will you stop yelling for one second?" someone was saying. It took
me a moment to place the voice as that of Finnegan's. "If I hadn't come
back you'd be in deep shit right now and you know it."

	"But now what do we do with him?" Caleb shouted. "We can't just
leave him here. As soon as he comes to he'll go right to the police."

	"Is it really the police you're worried about or is it your
precious Asher?"

	"Not now, Finn. We have to figure out what to do with him."

	"Yes now. He'll wait, this won't."

	"What if he wakes up?"

	"Then I hit him again. It worked the first time."

	"What if you kill him? Maybe he's already dead, he's not moved
since you hit him."

	"Then the problem is solved."

	"Finn!"

	"Relax. He's still alive. I can see him breathing. Now what is
going on with you and Asher? And tell me the truth!"

	"We really are just friends." Even in my stunned state I could
detect the doubt in Caleb's voice. I wondered if Finn could hear it too or
if he would choose to hear only what he wanted to hear. Whichever, I hoped
they would keep talking long enough for me to gather myself enough to put
up a fight. "I like Asher, but it's not the same."

	"Why don't I buy that?" Finn asked.

	"It's true," Caleb cried.

	"Were you going to leave me for him?"

	"No!"

	"Would you tell me if you were? Not bloody likely."

	"Why are we fighting about this now? Can't this wait?"

	"I need to know where we stand before I get involved any further."

	"Like you're not already involved," Caleb snorted. "You lied to the
cops, you cracked Killian upside the head and you were right there with me
that night helping me kill that bastard."

	My mind was reeling from the blows, both the physical blow and the
blow of this new revelation. Now I knew who had killed Ira Cohen. Was I
going to be able to do anything about it? My mind was so busy trying to
absorb all that I almost missed what Finn said next.

	"Maybe I'm through being there for you. Asher's there for you now,
right? You don't need me. Maybe I'll turn myself into the cops and strike a
deal for turning on you."

	"You wouldn't do that," Caleb said, although he sounded less than
certain.

	"Wouldn't I? What's the alternative? Living with you holding that
over my head for the rest of my life? Or maybe I could just kill you and
get it over with. Make it look like you and Killian hear had a final
showdown that neither of you lived through. I could come forward and tell
them all about how I lied about you being at my house that night because I
loved you, but how I now knew that it must have been you who killed your
father. I might get in trouble for lying but it would be minimal and I'm
still a minor."

	"You...you won't."

	"Are you sure?"

	There was silence for a minute and I wondered what was going on. I
desperately wanted to open my eyes, but quite aside from the pain I knew I
couldn't risk letting them know I was awake. Then I heard Finn sigh
heavily.

	"Ok, you're right. I won't do that. As stupid as it may be I love
you too much to do that. But if you think I'm going to just roll over while
you ride off into the sunset with Asher you're insane."

	"I have no intention of riding off anywhere with Asher. How could I
do that to you after all we've been through together? I love you." Caleb
wheedling tone almost made me vomit, or maybe that was just from the
bashing my head had only recently received.

	Finn's voice softened, "We'll get through this together."

	"Yes, we will. But right now we have to figure out what to do with
him?" I could only assume they were talking about me. I tried to lie as
still as I possibly could and keep my breathing steady.

	"We can't let him go," Finn said thoughtfully.

	"I already said that."

	"I know, now suggest something helpful."

	"Like what?"

	"Well, of we can't let him go what do we do with him? Hold him
hostage? I don't think so. That only leaves one other option."

	"You mean...?"

	He didn't finish, he didn't have to. We all knew what he meant.

	"Don't look at me like that," Finn snapped, "You know we have
to. He heard too much."

	"He doesn't know what he heard," Caleb said weakly.

	"He heard enough to hurt us. Oh, for God's sake, don't go looking
all green. You didn't have any trouble hacking your dad up with an ax."

	"That was different. He deserved to die after everything he'd done
to me. If no one else was going to do anything for me what choice did I
have?"

	"None, I know why you had to do it. That's why I was there for you,
waiting outside while you chopped him up like firewood and holding you
while you cried for hours afterwards. This isn't any different."

	"Yes it is! Killian hasn't hurt anyone; he's just trying to find
out the truth."

	"But won't that hurt you? If he finds out the truth? He isn't going
to just sit on it, you know. And what about me? Everything I've done has
been for you. I helped you plan it and hide any evidence that wasn't
destroyed in the fire. I'm the one that lied to police when it became
obvious that a lack of evidence wasn't going to stop them from sending you
away."

	"I didn't ask you to do that," Caleb said quickly.

	"If I hadn't, where would you be now? Waiting for trial in some
cold cell?"

	"They wouldn't have convicted me; there was no evidence against
me. Just...what do they call it? Circumcision?"

	"Circumstantial. And they convict on less than that all the
time. There were no other real suspects, just you. Now you're not a suspect
and that's thanks to me. Not that you've appreciated it at all."

	"We were supposed to keep things simple. Nothing is simple
anymore. And now this. How do we do it? And what do we do with him
afterwards?"

	"Maybe we don't have to actually do it ourselves," Finn said
slowly.

	"What do you mean?"

	"Well, a fire sure worked last time. What if we take him up into
the loft, make sure he's really unconscious and set the barn on fire. He'll
die in the fire and destroy all the evidence again at the same time. We can
even make it look like an accident."

	"How would we do that?" I was relieved to hear hesitation still in
Caleb's voice. Maybe they wouldn't go through with this right away. Maybe
it would give someone time to start looking for me. My car wasn't exactly
hidden that well. Someone would spot it and know I was nearby, right? I
sent a little prayer heavenward as they went on.

	"I don't know. Does he smoke?"

	 "Not that I know of. I've never seen him smoke."

	"Ok, well that makes it harder. Um..."

	"Maybe we could just run away," Caleb said suddenly.

	"Huh?"

	"I know where Terry and Becky keep a wad of cash. I could take it
and we could run."

	"Run where? And how long could we live on a little cash? We're
fifteen, we couldn't get real jobs and I'm not going to be a street
hustler. No, we have to do it this way. Look, isn't your Dad's old
girlfriend a suspect? She smokes like a chimney. We could still use a
cigarette to start the fire and if they find it that would cast suspicion
on her. I mean, you don't smoke so why would they suspect you? If we could
get one of her brand it would be even better."

	"And how would we do that?"

	"Do you know what she smokes?"

	"I think it's Marlboro, but I'm not sure."

	"My Dad keeps a pack of them in his truck. He doesn't smoke that
much anymore but he says it's comforting to keep a pack near him. I'll just
run home and get one. I'll be right back."

	"No! Wait, I don't want to stay here with him alone," Caleb begged.

	"You're kidding, right? How old are you? He's out cold, and after
that bang I gave him he's not going to be feeling too swift when he does
come to. I won't be long."

	"Finn, please. I'll go with you."

	"Think, Caleb! We can't leave him hear alone. What if he wakes up
while we're gone?"

	"We could tie him up. There's rope on the wall."

	"Hmm, well at least you're thinking. I guess we could do that. Get
the rope."

	There were some scuffling and banging sounds as Caleb got the rope
off the wall. My mind was racing. Should I put up a fight now? It didn't
seem like the best idea. I didn't doubt that Finn would hesitate for a
second to knock me out again and then what chance would I have? Ever since
the house burned down that night with Jake, me and Asher in it I'd had a
fear of burning to death. For a while I'd even woken up at night screaming
after terrible nightmares where we didn't get out and the greedy flames
consumed my flesh. I remembered reading somewhere that if you flex your
muscles as someone is tying you up that it will leave a little lax in the
rope when you relax. I could try that and hope they didn't feel the tension
in my body.

	I felt them approach and kneel down beside me.

	"Should we take him upstairs first?" Caleb asked timidly.

	"Nah, not now. Let's just get him tied up and go get that
cigarette."

	I felt hands lift my wrists. I tried to keep myself limp while they
pulled my arms behind my back. Every motion sent my head whirling and I
tried not to cry out in pain. When I felt the ropes slip around my wrists I
realized there weren't exactly any muscles to tense in my wrist. They tied
the ropes so tightly I felt the circulation being cut off to my hands. Then
they tied my feet the same way and dragged me over to the pile of straw.
They dropped me roughly and my head bounced a little off the ground. For a
few seconds I was sure that I was going to lose consciousness again. By the
time I managed to fight it off, they were throwing loose straw over me and
I found myself struggling not to sneeze. I listened to the sound of their
feet move away and then heard them climb out the window, all without saying
a word.

	I waited a few tense minutes before letting loose with a huge
sneeze that shook my whole body and almost made me black out. I struggled
to sit up but the rolling waves of blackness came back and all I managed
was to flop onto my side where I lay panting in distress. How was I going
to get out of this one?