Date: Thu, 28 May 2015 19:53:22 +0100 From: Sam Bam <mansambambam@gmail.com> Subject: Angsty Alexander chapter 16 Angsty Alexander part 16 Please donate to nifty http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html to keep the stories free and fantastic. Peter The last week of classes flew by. We both felt well prepared for finals but Alexander still scheduled a bunch of his study sessions. On friday we went and got the car after our final classes and loaded it up with the last of our stuff from the suites. We barely said goodbye to our suitemates, I don't know if Alexander had ever spoken to them. I expect they were glad to be free from all our sex noises. "What will we do with the mini fridge and rug? All the guys have microwaves and fridges, we'll have appliance overload." I say. "We can keep the fridge in our room for drinks,saves us going all the way down to the kitchen. Or you can sell to next years freshmen. The rug will go in your room." Alexander says. "Okay. I guess a cold drink supply in the room is good for when we want to be nude all day." I say grinning. We unload and I do put some things in my nominal room, I send my Mom a picture, I'm sure she knows I'm sharing with Alexander but we can pretend. "All settled in your room then?" Alexander says coming in. "I'm in your bed tonight and always." I reply. "If you're lucky." Alexander says cheekily. "You're the lucky one." I say grinning. "I'm glad you'll be keeping my bed warm all summer. I'll enjoy thinking of you in it when I'm away." Alexander says. "I'm going to miss you so much." I say suddenly realizing how little time we had left. Alexander Study week passed in domestic bliss. We cycled in to college for study sessions and the gym. We could work out at home but its better at school, I know there could be a time when going to the gym at school will be too much hassle so we make the most of it now. On wednesday I corner a guy called Vincent on his way out, I've heard a few rumors about him and think he could be good for Peter. I ask him for coffee, knowing Peter will be heading off to see a professor with some questions. In the coffeeshop I buy the drinks then sit nervously. Vincent is huge, must be 6 foot 6, it feels like he towers over me,and I'm usually the tallest in the room, he's like a tree, huge with massive arms. "So I need to ask a favor and its awkward and might be embarrassing." I say. "Go ahead." Vincent says. "So you know my boyfriend Peter?" I ask. "Everyone knows you and Peter,the gyms golden couple. You've disappointed a lot of guys getting together." Vincent says. "Yeah I guess we've both been utter sluts at times." I say. "Yeah, though I've not been with either of you." Vincent says. "That's good. Look I hear you like it rough." I say. "Geeze, what have you heard, who from. I'm not even out, outside the gym. I'm on the football team." Vincent says quietly. "No need to panic. There was a guy who you used to ignore in the locker room, I saw his bruises and saw him follow you out a few times." I say. Vincent smiles as if recalling something fun. "Yeah. Guess I need to be even more discreet." Vincent says. "I doubt anyone who is bothered would have noticed." I say. "So whats the favor?" Vincent asks. I outline what I want for Peter and Vincent nods and smiles. "So when?" Vincent asks. "So that's a yes? The friday of exam week we're having a party at our house, near campus. Come to that and if you hit it off take it from there. We've lots of rooms. You won't be disturbed." I say. "Sounds great. Never thought that was going to be what you wanted." Vincent says and we shake hands. That evening I'm particularly playful with Peter. Tickling him during dinner, planting loads of sloppy kisses on him. I can barely focus, but he's hard at work. Eventually he seems to slow down. "You done?" I ask. "Nearly." Peter says. "Hurry up, I've a cock that needs sucking here." I say, shaking my dick at him. He knows what he's in for and has a huge grin on his face. He's quickly between my legs working on getting me hard. I ruffle his hair as he gets to work. Then hold his head in place as I fuck his mouth and throat. "Thanks babe, that was amazing." Peter says all grins with cum on his chin. We snuggle on the couch watching TV. Finals week goes pretty well. We are both finished by friday lunchtime so we have time to set up for the party and help Jamie and Brian move in. Both Eric and Jay have an afternoon final so will move in over the weekend. We fill coolers with beers and ice and put them out on the deck. We leave Jamie and Brian to sort the music and head upstairs to get showered and changed. "I've got a surprise for you tonight." I say to Peter, kissing his nose. "Really?" Peter says. "His name is Vincent." I say. "Seriously babe?" Peter says looking at me. "I love you. I need you to be happy. Really happy and satisfied." I say holding him close. "I didn't get you anything." Peter says. "I don't need anything but you." I say. "But you do get a free pass tonight. I'm sure you guys will be up to something later if Eric's birthday is anything to go by." Peter says grinning and kissing me gently. "But you won't be mad if I don't? And if you don't like Vincent you don't have to either." I say. "Of course baby." Peter says. We make out for a few minutes then head down to be good hosts. A lot of people arrive, many I don't know, friends of Brian and Jamie, Eric's theater friends. I wave at Jay but don't see Ben. Jamie is hitting the drink hard. "She's finished it. Gone back to her high school boyfriend. She's been messaging him for weeks, ever since I got the summer job here." Jamie says. "Oh man that sucks. You two were amazing together. What a bitch." I say, I'm almost as devastated as Jamie is. I can't believe Emma has done this. I spot Vincent and introduce him to Peter. They are soon inside on the sofa chatting up a storm. I feel good. I head outside and chat to people, drink a lot. Later when I'm fetching more drinks I see Peter and Vincent heading to the basement and I give Peter a grin. Jay sees them too. "You don't mind your boyfriend going off with someone?" Jay asks. "Tonight we're off the hook." I reply. "Wow. You're brave." Jay says. "It suits us. Where's Ben?" I ask. "Different party. Lots on tonight, I'd hoped he's dome by later but he's not going to now." Jay says taking a drink. We head outside together. The party begins to calm down. I put Jamie to bed with a bucket, he is a total mess. Out on the deck its the house guys, Harry, Bobbie, Thijs and Felix left. "Just us gays left." I say with a grin. We sit around talking shit and drinking, we're all pretty wasted. "I think we need to end this last party of the year in a similar way to the first." Says Felix rolling a bottle between his hands. "Go on." I say. "Do you have some paper and pens?" Felix asks. "Sure, shall we all head inside? I'll go find them." I say. I find what he's asked for and grab condoms and lube too. "Okay everyone write some sex acts, anything from kissing to toe sucking via anal on a strip of paper and fold it up. Alexander grab a bowl." Felix begins. I pass him a bowl. "Put the paper in the bowl. First person spins the bottle, the person it lands on picks a task, you can decide per pair who does what. 3 minutes of activity. Then the person to the left of the last spinner spins." Felix says and we all nod. "Lets get naked." says Thijs standing and pulling off his clothes. We all follow, I grab a pile of towels for everyone to sit on. Felix takes the first spin and is soon going down on Harry. I'm sat next to Jay and I'm kind of surprised he's sat ready to join in. "You okay with this, with Ben not here?" I ask. "Its a party, just some fun." Jay says. I have a flashback to him saying similar at Peter and Aaron's party. "Heh you said that last time." I say. Jay looks at me and grins. "That night was fun, until it broke us up." Jay says. I nod. "I was so jealous of every guy you went near." I say. "And yet tonight you let Peter go off someone and you're not even watching." Jay says. "I don't want to see that. " I say sadly. In the middle of the room Eric and Bobbie are sucking each other enthusiastically. I look at them and smile. "Eric is so obvious." Jay says. "Huh?" I ask. "He has a thing for Bobbie, ever since his birthday. " Jay says. "Are he and Brian in trouble?" I ask. "No, he's still really into Brian. And Bobbie is totally into Harry. But they've been skirting round the idea of the four of them getting it on. I think Harry is the holdout." Jay says. It looks like the game is close to disintegrating with the looks the guys are giving each other and the way cocks are straining. Jay and I haven't been paying enough attention. Its Jay's turn and he spins me. I select a piece of paper and grin. "What is it?" Jay asks. "Just lie down and enjoy." I say. Felix grabs the paper from me. "Worship his body" Felix shouts. "Oh I will." I say. I spend the three minutes kissing, licking and stroking Jay from face to feet. Every touch feels amazing, our chemistry has never gone away entirely and tonight its unlocking all the love I've been pushing down and locking away since Jay rejected me. He's lightly moaning as I run my teeth over his nipples. I do not want to stop when Felix calls time. I help Jay up and I know my love is written all over my face. He returns the look. We sit back down and Jay kisses me. "I've missed your tongue more than your cock." Jay says running his hands through my hair. The game is over and sex is all around us. "Come upstairs?" I ask standing up and holding out my hand. Jay nods and we climb up to my room. "What about Peter?" says Jay. "I told you I'm off the hook tonight. Free to do whoever. This won't mess with you will it?" I ask. "No, I need a great fuck. Please Alexander, lets do this and then deal with whatever happens. Its been too long." Jay says. I grin massively and take him in my arms. We kiss and its amazing. I'd forgotten just how incredible a kisser Jay is. Always so enthusiastic and loving. Every gentle peck, every deep kiss, every bitten lip. I run my hands over him, moaning slightly. Letting my fingers play with his chect hair before kissing it so lightly I barely touch the skin. "I've missed your kisses. You are the best kisser ever." I say. Jay just grins and kisses me some more gifting me his tongue. I pull him on top of me and run my hands down his back. Loving the feel of his hard cock pressing against my belly. My fingers linger over his crack, then I pull his cheeks a little, he responds by kissing me deeply. I need to taste him. We move so he's straddling my face, and I begin to lick and probe his hole. He moans loudly. "I knew I missed your tongue. Eat me Alexander." Jay groans. I am not holding back. I turn him onto his back so I can probe deeper. Enjoying him so, so much, Ilove his taste. "I need you Alexander. Please, I need you. I'm ready, I need it, please." Jay pants. I get covered up ready and lube him up good. Jay is holding his legs up and grinning like crazy. I am so hard for him, I need him. He is so welcoming in and I'm soon pretty deep. I let out a long moan. "Fuck Jay, you are amazing. Feels so good." I say groaning some more. I need to take this slow, I need to feel every millimeter of him. I didn't think his smile could get any bigger but it suddenly does. "If I could only have sex in one position with one cock for ever more this would be it." he says. "Yeah, you like my cock." I say. "I fucking love your big,curvy dick. Give me more." Jay says, gripping my butt pulling me too him. I continue with the long slow strokes and Jay strokes himself at a slow speed. Showing me all I've been missing. Its good, its so good. He looks and feels amazing, and he's looking at me like I'm the greatest and it all spurs me on. We last for ages, holding on as best we can, neither of us wanting to end until his wave begins and I just cling on. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgh" We groan together, I feel my cock pulsing deep inside him as his shoots thick white jets on his belly, chest and neck. I clean us up and lie down with him. Stroking his arm, unable to speak. Jay is soon asleep. I lie awake looking at him so cute and sexy. Peter My time with Vincent ends in the early hours, I asked him to stay over but he needed to get back and go almost straight to the airport for his flight home. I was sore and super satisfied. As I stood in the doorway I saw my man curled around Jay in the moonlight. Of course he was with Jay, they looked adorable together. Beautiful. I almost felt like I was intruding. Alexander looked up and smiled at me. Then frowned. He got out of bed and grabbed me, pulling me into the bathroom. "You're a mess. Your eye is swollen shut. Are you okay? Did he get out of hand?" Alexander says worried and a bit mad. "I'm fine,it was incredible, he was amazing. I'm sore and sure I'll feel shit tomorrow but no lasting damage. Honest." I say. I'd showered downstairs so as to not disturb Alexander, he tends to me and I let him. "I hope the swelling goes down before you start work monday." Alexander says. "Me too, I'll tell them it was some crazy sports injury." I say. "Hows your ass?" Alexander asks. "Sore, very, very sore." I admit. Alexander is kneeling down taking a look. Rubbing me with coconut oil and making me feel safe. "Thanks Baby." I say. "Don't think there is any bleeding." Alexander says standing and kissing me on the nose. "You take such good care of me." I say. "I feel responsible." Alexander says. "No you're not. I could have stopped at any time. I fucking loved it. Thank-you. And it looks like you had fun too." I say. "I did. Thank-you too. I love you." Alexander says. "Love you loads." I say and we get into bed. Alexander in the middle, he cuddles up to Jay and I put my arm over both of them kissing my mans neck until we sleep. I wake first, its still pretty early. I guess I didn't drink that much, my head is fine but my body is aching and sore. I get out of bed and take a long hot shower. I check out the damage to my face, my eye opens okay but the bruise is pretty awful. Back in the room the guys are still sleeping. I feel a wave of love for Jay for making Alexander feel good last night. After drying off I get back into bed facing Jay and I know its a big risk but I lean in and kiss him. "Hey, whats that for?" Jay says sleepily. "Thanks for making my boyfriend feel so good last night. He looks so cute and happy." I say. "Mmmmm" says Jay and he leans in to kiss me back. Its pretty hot. "If there is anything I can do to thank-you, let me know." I say. Jay kisses me again and moves his hand to my hard cock. "Fuck me Peter. Give me your cock as a thank-you." Jay purrs at me. "Really?" I ask feeling super horny. "Give me your big cock." Jay groans kissing me deeper. He rolls over and kisses Alexander who is sleeping. We fuck on our sides, lazily to start then building up. Part way through Alexander gets up to go to the shower, ruffling my hair as he leaves. With the bed to ourselves I begin to pound harder and Jay is not holding back. I'd forgotten how vocal he can be. We fall back asleep after and snooze a while. Alexander wakes us. "Come on we can't sleep all day, we have to get Jays stuff from the dorm by 5." Alexander says. We all dress together, Jay borrowing some clothes, which kind of drown him. Downstairs its quite the sight in the lounge, Eric and Bobbie are making out, no they're fucking on the floor, clinging to each other. Brian is watching, absentmindedly stroking himself now and then. Felix and Thijs are snuggled together still sleeping, no idea why no one found themselves a bed. We have loads. We go through to the kitchen. Out the window we can see Harry sat on the deck alone. "I'll go check he's okay." Alexander says. My dirty mind goes into overdrive, I'm grabbing condoms and lube from the drawer and stuffing them into Alexanders pocket. "Check that he's really okay, cheer him up good." I say waggling my eyebrows. Alexander gives me an odd look as he walks outside. I put coffee on then watch from the window as they hug and talk. Jay brings me over a cup of coffee once its done. "Thanks." I say. "What you watching?" Jay asks. "Harry and Alexander. I really want them to do it sometime." I say. "Wow, you two are really open." Jay says. "hmmm. Oh wow." I say. Harry and Alexander are pulling off each other clothes and making out madly. My cock is swelling and I'm soon sporting a big tent in my shorts. "They look so hot." Jay says. "Mmmmm" I moan distracted, rubbing myself a little on the outside of my shorts. "Nice recovery." Jay says squeezing my dick. I fish it out and stroke a little not taking my eyes off Harry and Alexander. Jay is doing the same. I reach over to stroke him. "Fuck me again." Jay says. "Seriously? Again? Already?" I say. "Please, until last night it had been months since I'd had good sex. Trying to make the most of you guys before going back to reality." Jay says whilst stroking my dick harder. Its fast and furious against the kitchen counter. I can't believe its happening, I shoot as I watch Harry and Alexander outside. We go and clean ourselves off and Jay is just cleaning up the kitchen as Harry and Alexander come back in. "What have you been up to?" Alexander says sounding a bit confused. "Your boyfriend was showing me his talented cock again. Thanks for letting me borrow him." says Jay. Alexander mutters something I don't hear. They go and wash up then Alexander starts cooking pancakes and bacon for everyone. Jamie emerges rubbing his head looking awful. He apologizes for being so drunk and everyone claims to have been just as bad. We all commiserate with him over his breakup. We're all pretty shocked. We all sit round the table together eating breakfast. Harry, Bobbie, Felix and Thijs all leave quickly after eating. Its sad saying goodbye to Thijs as he's flying back to The Netherlands to continue his studies. Felix looks very down about it. "Okay Eric, Brian shall we go get Eric's stuff?" Jamie says and the three of them leave. "We should go and get yours Jay." Alexander says. "Yeah, just 1 more coffee." Jay says and we grin. Alexander. We get to the dorm and Ben is waiting for Jay. "Shall we give you an hour or two?" I ask. "Please, is that okay? I do need to talk to him after last night." Jay says. "Call when you're ready." I say. "What shall we do?" Asks Peter. "I need some clothes can we go to the mall?" I ask. I do need clothes, I have barely shopped all year and I'm looking scruffy. I need everything, I know I'll be in costume most of the time I'm working but I don't know how much free time I'll have and I know I'll not have much time when shops are open when I get there. However shopping on a Saturday was a bad idea, its crowded and loud and I feel like shit anyway. Peter keeps holding things up,saying I'll look hot. Its annoying. "I'm not a fucking barbie doll, stop trying to dress me." I snap. Luckily Jay calls shortly after. I dump everything I had picked back on the rack. "Uh you still need clothes. You can't drop everything." Peter says. "I'll go Monday when you're in work." I say. Peter rolls his eyes. Back at the dorm Jay has already brought down most of his stuff. I load up the car while he and Peter get the last of it. "Uh I guess you finally get your stuff back." Says Jay indicating the things I bought the first week of school. "We'll have to sell stuff to the freshmen in August, we have so many mini fridges and microwaves between us." I say. I'm quiet going back to the house. Once we unload Peter says he's going for a nap so I go grocery shopping. Its almost as bad as the mall but better than being with Peter right now. Jamie helps me unpack. He's really in a bad way over Emma. I make a mental note to call her later as I can't believe all Jamie's version of events. Plus I know what its like to be the one to lose all your friends after a breakup. "Can I borrow your bike for a few weeks? I'll get my own once I'm paid. Parking is so expensive near work it would save me a fortune." Jamie asks. "Of course, I'll dig out the key for the lock for you." I say. Brian comes in to get a drink. "Alexander I know its only been a day but I really love it here. I was wondering if I could stay full time. The idea of being an RA is less and less appealing despite the scholarship." Jamie says. "I was going to ask the same. I didn't think I'd feel so relaxed. There's so much space for study, I love the kitchen and going back to dorm bathrooms after this is not a fun prospect." says Brian laughing. "I would love for both of you to stay. But there aren't enough bedrooms for everyone. Would you share with Eric, Brian?" I ask. "I'll ask him." Brian says. "Look can you get the others in here? We need to have a house meeting before Eric leaves tomorrow anyway." I say. We all sit round the dining table. Peter looking all sleepy. I try not to think how cute he looks. "Okay I need to say a bunch of stuff while we're all here. There will be a cleaning service coming mondays and fridays. Please put a sign on your bedroom door if you don't want it but please let them in at least twice a month. Also, Peter knows the drill but leave a note if some rooms don't need doing, like the gym or downstairs bathroom." I begin. "Whats included?" Asks Eric. "All cleaning, laundry of sheets and towels, use the big hamper for anything you need washing. They'll do some big jobs now and then like the oven or windows. But obviously don't like like slobs thinking someone will pick after you." I grin. "This place has been done so nicely, we will look after it. Don't worry." Jamie says. "Okay, the garage apartment will be empty until august. The guys are traveling for summer. Please look in on it now and then, open the windows for a bit." I say. "Cool, I'll do that." says Brian. "Peter knows where the garage keys and things are. You've all got my email and skype and that. If I don't answer try Eric, he can pass on a message. Some days I expect I'll be on set long hours." I say. "Ha are you ready to be Alexanders bitch?" Says jay laughing. "I'm sure being Alexanders companion will be easier than being Blairs bitch." says Eric. "Uh I might need a bit more than a companion. But any way both Brian and Jamie want to stay here full time not just for the summer." I say. Peter and Jay have great grins on their faces. Eric looks seriously miffed. "So we only have 5 bedrooms and there are 6 of us. So 2 people need to share. Eric will Brian be in with you once you get back?" I ask. "I don't see why Peter needs his own room." Eric says. "So thats a no?" I ask. "I'm not ready for a live in boyfriend. You and Peter live together anyway. Peter dosent need a room, you have that dressing room for his clothes." Eric pushes. "Peter gets his own room. His dad is paying full market rent." I say. "Brian will pay full rate." Eric says. Brian looks a bit annoyed. "Well why don't you and Jay share then Eric?" I suggest. "The whole point of being here was to get our own rooms. I don't get why Peter needs and empty one." Eric pushes again. "So Eric, you think that Alexander shouldn't have his own room, despite buying this place, furnishing it for us and generally making life easy for all of us." Says Peter getting really mad. "Peter gets his own room. End of discussion. Can the four of you decide a fair arrangement." I snap and walk outside to the deck. Peter follows me. "Baby, you okay?" Peter asks. "Not now Peter." I say. "You've been off all afternoon. What is it?" Peter asks. "Not now, we need to talk but later. Please." I say. Peter tries to hug me but I push him off. He looks sad, but I'm still too annoyed to care. He walks down the end of the garden, I watch him go, trying to block out the shouting from the kitchen. Finally Jamie pops his head out to say they're ready. "I'm close to changing my mind." whispers Jamie. "Jay and Brian have agreed to share. They'll take the ground floor room, Jamie will take the middle room upstairs, Peter will have the small room and I stay where I am." says Eric. "Don't be absurd. Yes the ground floor room is a little bigger than the middle one upstairs but the shower room isn't good for sharing. The sharers should get the big room." I say. "I don't see why I should lose my room. I was the first to be asked to move in. And they could use the gym shower." says Eric. "Get over yourself. I asked you Jay and Blondie the same day, Jay knew about this place first. Jamie stay where you are if you're okay with it. Better than you walking in on any of these guys fucking in the upstairs bathrooms." I say. "I love my room and the shower room is fine for me." Jamie says. "Jay and Brian take the big room. Jay I'm going shopping monday, come with me and we can get your bed ordered. Eric you get the small room and Peter stays in the middle one. The small one is closer to the new bathroom and has more closet space, its better for living in than the middle one which is a bit awkward." I say. "Peter are you okay with that? Eric is going to object to anything today. If it doesn't work out we can try again in August." I say. "It is fine with me." Says Peter. I head upstairs, shaking my head. I've no idea what has got into Eric. I guess he and Brian will be done soon. "Are we going to talk now?" Asks Peter. "Okay." I say, gulping. "What's wrong?" Peter says. "You cheated on me. You're acting like its nothing and that really hurts. I've tried so hard to keep you interested and happy. I've really been trying, and I've had so little back. I thought Vincent would be able to give you what I couldn't but I wake up to you fucking Jay. If you were tired of me there are better ways to tell me." I say. I'm in a total trance. "What? I didn't cheat." Peter says incredulous. "We had an agreement, if one of us went outside to do something with someone the other would get a free pass. Any group situations we'd discuss. Where does you fucking Jay fit in to that?" I say icily. I'm so calm I'm terrified of myself. "Where do you shagging Harry in the garden fit in to that agreement?" Peter spits. "I didn't have sex with Harry." I say stunned. "I watched you, I only fucked Jay because I was turned on watching you." Peter shouts. "You didn't watch very closely did you, saw what you wanted to. We rolled around for a bit, for a laugh. You might have noticed my cock stayed flaccid the entire time, but you were too busy fucking Jay to see we were just having a joke. I was ready to write off you and Jay first thing, given I shouldn't have had him stay in our bed all night, but the second time, no way. We are done." I say. "No, this is bullshit. You are picking a fight because you're scared of talking about the summer. I've been waiting for you to bring it up." Peter says. "We're broken up. For good, its too late to talk about the summer. You could have brought it up. No need to wait on me. But I've been doing all the lifting in this relationship recently. I'm done. Done." I say as coldly as I can. "Stop it. You know that isn't true. Sleep on it Alexander because you will regret this conversation tomorrow. I would never cheat on you. I love you so much." Peter says pleading. "I'm certain sticking your dick in Jay is cheating. I've no idea what you thought it was." I say determined to not let him off the hook. "I'll go. But this is not over." Peter says leaving the room. I shower for ages, trying to wash away the horrid day. Jay pops in to the room as I'm drying off. "Everyone in the house is going through a breakup." says Jay. "You and Ben split?" I ask. "Yeah, I'm not a cheater, and I should have ended it ages ago. I did like him, but all my friends hated him and he was terrible in bed." Jay sighs. "I'm sorry. I did think you were cute together. I guess we're all imploding at the thought of long distance summers. What happened with Eric and Brian?" I ask. "Actually I think they'll be okay once Eric realizes Bobbie won't leave Harry." Jay says. "Yeah, Harry said he was fine with Eric and Bobbie this morning, given he'd been with so many guys last night. I guess we missed a total orgy." I say with a laugh. "Worth it." Jay says. I look at him and realize it was. I don't feel controlled by our chemistry any more. Last night got him out of my system. I look at him and see a friend. Nothing more. "It was amazing. For me it got all my feelings for you out. I feel like we can be proper friends now. Without sex or a ridiculous hypothetical future marriage clouding it." I say hoping I don't hurt his feelings. "That is exactly it. All the love I squashed down came out last night and we've now got a clean slate." Jay says smiling. We share a hug. "Are you really ending it with Peter?" Jay asks. "I have to. Him being with you wasn't okay with me." I say. "I'm sorry, I never would have done it if I didn't think it was okay with you. I asked him, both times. This morning he kissed me and thanked me for making you happy, he asked what he could do to thank me and I shamelessly asked for sex." Jay admits. "Thanks for telling me your side. What about in the kitchen?" I ask torturing myself. "We were turned on by you and Harry. Peter said he wanted to see you two do it. You're a sexy pair and I again begged for Peters cock. Honestly before last night the last good fuck I had was in here with you in december. I was desperate." Jay says. "You had Blondie after that." I say. "I forgot, that. See wasn't that good." Jay laughs and I grin too. "Look for what its worth Peter loves you, really loves you. He is devastated by this. It's so hard for me to admit but you two really are great together and as a friend I honestly think you'd be nuts to throw him away." Jay says quietly. I nod, trying to fight back the tears. Once he leaves the room they flow and I cry myself to sleep. I wake late, shower, dress and head down to the kitchen. Jamie is eating cereal. I pour coffee. "No one else up?" I ask. "Peter has driven Eric and Brian to the airport. I think Jay is still asleep." Jamie says. Typical Peter has my car and I can't even be mad as he's doing Eric a favor. Still Eric should have asked me or Jamie if he needed a lift. "Wait Brian went? Are he and Eric okay?" I ask. "Yup all smiles and kisses. They should be back soon, they left ages ago." Jamie says. "That's good." I say. "Are you and Peter done?" Jamie asks. I nod then exhale heavily. "I need to talk to him some more I guess." I say. Jay walks in bleary eyed. "Jay are you okay for clothes for LA?" I ask. "Nope. I need to go round goodwill and look for suits and shirts. I've almost no cash left. Its going to be a struggle until I get paid. But I also need to get something for Mart and John." Jay sighs. "Okay. I'll sort you a loan and you can shop with me tomorrow. We'll go early as we'll need to drop the guys at school." I say. "I wasn't fishing for a loan or anything." Jay says. "I know. I also know what sort of clothes Blair expects. Lets hit the outlets then go bed shopping. You should get tea and honey for your gift, not too expensive but they'll love it. I can show you a place that has the sort of thing they'll like. Also get them flowers regularly. I'll give you the names of some not super expensive places." I say, it feels good to have a practical moment. "You are a lifesaver." Jay says. "Its fine, at the mall I was adding up all I needed and was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Outlets will make me feel like I'm at least trying to save money." I laugh. "Do you need to save? Really? I bet you could buy fifty buck underpants and not notice." says Jay giggling. "You know I'm not that in to underwear. 5Buck walmart bumper packs." I say grinning. "Ahh it was never quite that bad but it was probably my one complaint about you." Jay says laughing. "I had no idea you were an undies guy." I say. "On others, could never afford what I liked myself. Maybe this summer."Jay says. "I wish I'd known when we were together." I say. "Funny isn't it, now we're just friends we can talk more easily about that stuff. We owe Felix, if he hadn't told me about you and Peter that night at the diner you'd have come back to my room and I'd never had the courage to turn you down." Jay says. "If I'd gone to your room that night I would never have had sex with Peter and you wouldn't have had the excuse to drop me." I say. "Wait, you hadn't had sex with Peter before that night?" Jay says. "That was the first time since the day I went mental at lunch. We'd been fooling around but mostly just hands stuff." I say. Jay doesn't get a chance to reply as Brian and Peter come in. I give Brian a big hug. "Are you okay?" I ask. "Yes, crisis averted and I'll see him for a couple of hours at the weekend before you fly off." Brian says. "I'm glad." I say. "Can we go for a walk?" Peter asks quietly. I nod. "Lets drive out of the city." I say. "Okay, we'll need gas first." Peter says. "Of course we will now I'm in the car." I say bitterly. "Seriously. We're going to argue gas now?" Peter says. I get in without talking to him and drive to the gas station, then drive us on out of the city to a trail I've read about. Its a nice day but its not too busy when we get there. I start walking, we're not exactly prepared for hiking but I figure getting out in nature a bit will help, neutral ground. We get to a nice lookout spot and take a seat on a bench. No one is around. "Did Jay talk to you? Explain he asked me for sex?" Peter says. "Yes." I say. "So can we forget the whole breakup? Please?" Peter says. "No." I say, I'm making it hard on purpose, being annoying but I just can't give him an easy ride. I am very, very upset and angry. "Why not. Jay asked me for sex. I didn't ask him for it." Peter says. "You didn't say no." I say. "He explained right? That I was just thanking him for making you happy. I was doing it for you." Peter says. "So it was my fault you cheated on me. Terrific." I say. "I didn't cheat. It wasn't like that. It was just a continuation of the party. Everyone else was the same. You had sex with jay too." Peter says. "You suggested I be with Jay when you were getting it rough. It was your idea." I say totally fed up. "I said if he was single. Jay is never single, I never thought it would happen." Peter says. "So I didn't have a free pass that night? You never told me I couldn't be with Jay and given you were with him twice straight after I don't know what you're saying." I say close to giving up. "I was with Jay to thank him for making you happy and the second time because I thought you were with Harry. I thought we were carrying on being open." Peter says. "Right you keep explaining your side and Jays side can you not just listen to mine?" I start to cry a little, angry at myself for not staying strong. "Go on." Peter says looking at me with a total look of confusion. "I've been working so hard. Trying so hard to keep our relationship fun for you. I've been feeling resentful about things being one sided and we'd usually talk but with finals and the summer apart coming I was keeping things bottled up. I thought if we made it to summer we'd have a fresh start when I got back and it would be fine." I begin. "I love you as you are, I loved our relationship as it was. You didn't need to work to keep me interested. I love you, I just do, completely." Peter says. "Then why did I wake up to you fucking someone else? If you loved me, loved me as I am, if I was really enough for you, why were you fucking Jay. And if you could do that in front of me who else have you been with behind my back?" I say between sobs. "I thought you'd be happy I was with Jay." Peter says. "I wasn't. I was in shock." I say, trying to calm myself. Peter is crying now. "I have never been with anyone else. I never would. You are my everything. Is this really it?" Peter says quietly. "Yes." I say. We walk back to the car and drive back in silence, I let Peter drive, I'm too upset to be safe anyway. At the house Peter grabs my hand. "Alexander, please tell me what I can do. What can I do to help you understand my side. I wasn't cheating. I wasn't. I could never. I love you too much." Peter says. I gather my composure. "Go fuck yourself." I say and march up to my room, exhausted I nap. When I wake I'm holding Peter close, for a moment I forget what happened and snuggle closer. "Hey sleepy." Peter says stroking my hair. "What are you doing here?" I say snapping back to reality. "You were shouting in your sleep, a nightmare I guess, I came in to calm you. Don't worry I have my shorts on. Its nothing pervy." Peter says and I smile. "Thanks. I don't remember it." I say. "I'm very, very sorry for what happened. I was being a pig headed idiot. You were right I was so concerned with you hearing me that I wasn't listening to you. You had every right to be upset with me. I should have said no to Jay. I just didn't think. You can trust me, you can really trust me. I want us to be together. I want to stay faithful to you this summer." Peter says. I start to cry again. "Thank-you." I say kissing him. "I was upset about summer, its why I was trying to please you. That was all me. I never thought you were losing interest until I saw you with Jay. I just needed to hear you admit it was wrong. It wasn't what we agreed." I say. "I know. I'm a dick. A stupid, stupid douche." Peter says. "I love you." I say "You're my stupid, stupid, douche. All mine." "All yours." Peter agrees. "All yours." The next day we get up early. I see to Peters eye, its not looking so bad but not great. I drop Peter and Brian at college and drive out to the outlet mall with Jay. We shop like crazy. I buy him some really nice suits,shirts and shoes. He looks great and I know Blair will be happy. I enjoy spoiling him. We've had too many ups and downs but we both feel like all is even now. We find a bed he likes too, we lie back on it together and bounce, causing us to laugh and laugh in the store. We try out loads but order the first one. We get the gifts for Mart and John and I pick up a bunch of small things to take with me for gifts for people on set and at my hotel. Exhausted from a full day out we get takeout on the way to pick the guys up from school. The rest of the week I spend time revising my script and packing and repacking. On Wednesday Jay heads off to LA. I'm excited for him. I can't wait to hear how he does from Blair and Sal. On thursday and friday I meet Peter for lunch trying to maximise the time we have left. Our blip fully behind us we're happy. I do trust him and accept that after the party was just a weird situation, he accepts why I reacted how I did. We agree openness just isn't for us. We want each other more and more each day, we don't need anyone else. Friday night we head straight to bed when Peter gets home. Neither of us wants our last night to end. On Saturday I cling to Peter in the car not wanting to leave him. I check in and try and read waiting for the flight. Eric finds me. "Hey, all ready for a big adventure?" I say. "Yes, are you?" Eric asks. "Yes, just wish I wasn't leaving Peter behind." I say. "I'm glad you sorted things out. He loves you so much." Eric says. "I love him too. I'm glad you and Brian are okay." I say. "Actually we're not." Eric says. "What? Wasn't he just here saying goodbye?" I say. "Yes we spent a couple of hours together between my flights. I'm chicken and will tell him when we get there. In a few days." Eric says. "Thats cold." I say. Eric shrugs. "Is it because of Bobbie?" I ask. "No, I've not been out and single. Not really. I want to explore all Europe has to offer. Thijs gave me some tips. I love Brian but I want a wild summer." Eric admits. "Wow, are you couldn't just take the summer off from Brian?" I ask. "Nah, I don't want him waiting for me. Jamie and Peter will help him get over it." Eric says. I nod bewildered. Who is Eric becoming. Arrgh I can't cope with another total transformation like Blondie. Peter calls just before our flight is called. "Love you baby. Come home to me soon." Peter says. "I will, this summer will be over super fast I promise." I say. Eric and I settle in to our seats and we're soon airborne, away from college, away from the drama and angst of my freshman year. No more Angsty Alexander. Film star Sandy Green is back in business. Thanks for reading that's the end of the Angsty journey.