Date: Wed, 22 Nov 2006 18:15:21 +0000
From: Steve Thomas <stevethomas535@hotmail.com>
Subject: Bens Fantasy, Ch. 17

This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings,
beliefs, and in some cases, experience.  Come to think of it -- it might
not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times
between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat.  If you
are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind
if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here.  If not, - -
ENJOY!

 Cast of characters:

 Ben Hastings -- That's me!

Bill "Bubba" Hastings -- My Dad

Veronica Hastings -- My Mom.

Reyna -- My Best Friend

Ranj Kumar-- My New friend

Jared -- A football whore.

Sargeant Shipley -- High School Friend

Rex Majors -- Ranj's roommate.

Everett Majors - Rex's younger brother

From Chapter 16:

"It's a park.  It's closed at night.  I wouldn't go there at night
anyway."

"Why?"  I asked.

"Too spooky for me.  I don't like dark places."

"Oh."  I said.  Have any bad things happened there?"

"I don't think so.  I just stay away form dark places at night."

"That's probably smart.  Thanks."

Drink your chocolate."  I said.  "We're going across the street."

"She said it was closed."  Everett said.

"Perfect!"  I said smiling.  We can go there and scream."

"I didn't mean REALLY scream!"  He said, looking worried.

"I know you didn't.  Let's go!"  I said, in all seriousness.



Chapter 17:

"Ben, we don't need to go over there."

"It's exactly where we DO need to go."

"I don't WANT to go over there!"  He said, as I kept walking across
the street.  But he stopped.

I turned and he had stopped at the curb.  He was still shaking his head
no.  I walked back, thinking as hard and as fast as I could.  What could
I do to give Everett some confidence.  "But wait, I don't need to do
that!"  I thought.  He is already asserting himself.

"You see, Ev?  You CAN say no!  You're older now that when he was
attacking you, and - "

"Attacking me?"

"What would you call what he did to you?"

"I'm not sure what to call it, but it wasn't an attack.  I wanted
it!"

"You thought it was thoroughly okay - - ?"

"I didn't say that.  I said, I wanted it."

"And -- how did you feel when it was over?"

"When it was over?  I -- I -- hated him.  But then I would crave it
until the next time."

"Did you ever feel guilty?"

I ALWAYS felt guilty."  He stated boldly.  Then he whispered, "I still
do."

We were still standing at the curb, in front of the café.  I gently
nudged his arm, and we started to walk on the sidewalk toward the more
populated parts of town.  The street lamps were bright:  I wanted him to
feel safe -- being here and being -- with me.

"Everett, you were just a boy when -- that -- was happening to you."

"I still feel like a boy."

"But is he coming in to your bed any more?"

"Heck no -- he has the twins now!"  He said almost peevishly.

"Why did he stop hitting on you?"

"I begged him to stop.  Then I hated myself for that.  Not only did I --
lose -- that - " he sighed,  "I feel like I'm to blame that he started
to do my little brothers."

"Everett -- you can't be seriously blaming yourself because your father
is forcing himself on them!"  I exclaimed.

"Daddy was just honoring my wishes.  Would it have hurt me to let him
keep doing me -- so my brothers - "

"Okay, Stop!"  I commanded.  "In the first place, your father wasn't
`honoring' anything.  Can't you see?  He was afraid you might say
something to someone if he pressed it any further.  Otherwise he would
have probably been doing all three of you."

Everett walked along side of me for the next five minutes in silence.  I
could sense that his mind was reeling.  I touched his hand, and he
immediately grabbed mine.  After another five minutes we were in a pretty
busy part of town, very lit up and with a lot of people -- mostly young
-- walking or driving by us.  No one seemed to take notice of the two
smallish young men walking hand in hand.  Finally Everett said,

"I HATE him!" with all the venom he could muster.  We were in front of
a bus stop bench.  He broke hands with me and sat down hard.  "How can I
feel both love and hate for someone?"

"I dunno, but I kind of remember from my high school psych class that
Mr. Hannah told us that hate and love were different sides of the same
emotion.  So I guess if someone we love hurts us -- badly -- maybe part
of the love turns to hate.  I'm just guessing here, but that kind of
makes sense -- to me - - not that it would make you feel any better."

"<<SIGH>> Actually -- it does."  He said.

"Good!  I mean, - um -- good.  Why?"  I asked.

"I guess it just helps me to -- keep things together."

"Huh?"  I said.

"Sometimes I think I'm going crazy.  I mean really -- insane.  And
it's because of crap like this.  Simple but still, it's very
confusing."

My phone rang.  "Yeah?"  I said, recognizing Ranj's number.

"You guys okay?"

"Yeah."

"It's just getting pretty late and -- I don't know what to tell Rex."

"Is he still - "

"No, he's fine -- and feeling badly that he drove you guys off.  When
will you be home?"

"I dunno.  I -- is it important?"  I asked.

"Can I talk to my brother?"  Asked Everett in one ear, while I heard
Rex saying the exact same thing to Ranj.  I handed the phone to Everett.
He walked some way away.  He whispered a conversation with his brother.
I couldn't hear what was said, but I could see the tears on Everett's
face.

Everett walked back to me and handed me the phone.  "I told Rex we'd be
home in the morning -- after they left for class."  He said.

"That was okay?"  I asked.

"Yeah.  He said that he sees that I'm not the little boy he thought I
was."

"And - - he probably wants to be alone with Ranj - ?"  I added.

"No.  He said he and Ranj are fine, but Ranj likes guys and -- he
doesn't."

"Oh."  I said.  I was feeling a little mixed emotion on that point
myself.  I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but -- I was hoping -- for Ranj
-- that Rex could be a match for him.  I still have feelings for him.

"Um -- he also talked about Daddy -- and his scholarship."

"Huh?"  I said.

"He told me to do what ever I felt was right."

"And Rex?  Will he -- um -- support you in it?"

"I think he will -- once you talk to him -- like you have to me."

"Me?!!"  I exclaimed.  "You want ME to talk to him?  I was hoping you
liked me more than that!"  I gave him a pouty look.

"I don't think I can do it alone.  I'm not sure how I feel about Daddy
going to prison, but -- I want to protect my little brothers.  And I
think Rex will too, if he sees that the way you helped me to see it."

"So -- where do you wanna go -- tonight?"

"Somewhere we can be alone."  He said.  It made something stir inside
me.  I wondered if he meant it the way I felt it.

BZZZZZ!

"Yeah?"  I answered, again seeing Ranj's number.

"The answer is yes."

"Huh?"

"If you can find a place you want to stay, do it!"

"We don't have that many hours to sleep, Ranj.  I hate to waste your
money on - "

"Don't worry about the money!  There's plenty more where that came
from.  My dad gives me as much as I need.  And besides -- I have you to
thank for being here -- which I love, by the way!"

"Me?"

"Well, yeah.  He sent me out here to get me safe and away from you!"
He said.

"Great boogly mooglies!"  I said.

"Huh?"

"It's an expression I learned from a teacher."  I said  "It's just
weirdly ironic!"

"What is?"

"The whole scenario."

"Oh.  Okay.  I guess.  See you sometime tomorrow then?"

"Yeah.  Thanks!"

We hung up and I had such an ironically exasperated look on my face,
Everett started laughing.

"What?!!""  I exclaimed.

"The look on your face.  Heehee!  It looks like you just saw a ghost - -
and it turned out to be Caspar!"

"Well, my situation is just weird!  This guy is physically abusing me --
and my dad knows it -- and yet my dad sends me out here to follow him."

"You mean Ranj?"

"Yes.  And as if that weren't weird enough -- HIS father sent HIM here
to get AWAY from ME!"

"You should write it down and send it to Warner Brothers!"  Laughed
Everett.

"If I did, I wonder if either of our dads would recognize their
parts!"  I said.

By this time we were in the middle of town, and being after 2:00 AM,
things were getting a lot quieter, with an occasional car full of college
guys (no girls!) cruising by.  Across the street was a very nice Hotel
with a red carpet coming out into a covered entry.  "Let's go!"  I
said.

"That will be $297.88"  The desk attendant said.  He saw the surprised
look on my face.  "Sorry, it's all we have Sir.  Shall I ring for the
night porter to take your -- erm -- do you have any bags, sir?"

"No.  We just want to sleep for a few hours."

He looked at the two of us and a look of recognition came over his face.
 "OOhhh!  Okay!  Checkout is 10:00 AM.  Can I give you a wakeup call?"

I looked pouty at him, and he winked at me.  "But -- if you want, I can
put late checkout on it to give you a couple more hours."  He smiled
sweetly.  I thanked him and told him a ten o'clock wakeup would be
great.  I peeled off six  $50's, and added a five of my own and we went
to our room.

I had already determined that I was not going to initiate anything after
all I knew this kid had been through.  Our room was extra special.  It
was at the top of the hotel, had a wall that was all glass, with a hot
tub on a pedestal in front of it.  We both shed our clothing quickly and
made a bee line for the hot tub.

I felt the stress being drained out of me as I slipped deep into the hot
water, only my nose above the surface.  I closed my eyes, and soon felt
myself drifting off.  I woke with a start as I felt Everett's hand
gently touch my face.  I sputtered a little because I choked on some
water.

"Oh!  I'm sorry!"  He said as he grabbed me and pulled me up.  I was
looking directly into his eyes and though I had determined not to
initiate anything, I couldn't help pulling him down into the water and
kissing him deeply.  Our naked bodies began writhing in the hot water
until I came to my senses.

"Oh, Ev!  I didn't want to -- I mean -- I wasn't gonna - "

"Don't!  Please don't stop now, Ben!  We don't have to do anything
you don't want to, but -- I need this -- please hold me!"

Anything I don't want to?  Doesn't he know I want all of him?  But I
can't let him know that!  Part of me is already telling him, as likewise
his already hard-as-a-rock boner is pressing hard into my own crotch.
But I did hold him for at least five minutes.

Suddenly, as we were still holding each others nude forms in the bubbling
water, he sobbed, and pulled me even closer.  "I don't know what comes
next, Ben.  I'm scared."

I thought about this for a moment and looked deeply into his eyes and
said, "Ev, I think maybe this is what it's like, being an adult.  We
have to deal with scary stuff, and not act scared.  One thing my dad
taught me was to think of the worst thing that could happen.  And if that
is dangerous or really bad, that's the time to worry.  Most of the time,
he said, people worry about mostly silly stuff."

"I don't think this is silly."

"I didn't mean that.  I was just quoting my dad.  But seriously --
what's the worst thing that could happen?

"Daddy might go to prison."

"And what do you think that might do to him?"

"He's awfully big.  I don't think anyone would mess with him."

But - - would he be messing with someone -- or more -- who is not as big
as he is -- like he did at home?"

"Daddy wouldn't do that!"  He objected.

"Maybe not.  But if he was willing to -- do -- his own sons -- do you
think he would think twice about -- doing some little criminal?"

"I don't wanna think about it."

"Okay.  Sorry.  It wasn't my intention to make you feel worse.   You do
know that you can come home with me for the summer -- right?"

He looked up in surprise.  I had not told him that before.  And -- I
hoped I wasn't speaking out of turn, since I really didn't get the okay
from my parents.  I decided right there that he WOULD be coming with me
-- and if there wasn't room in our house, then we would find our own
place.  But I kept all that to myself -- for the time being.

"I -- I never thought -- about -- you mean come to your -- I mean to
California?"  He stammered.  "Wouldn't people make fun of me -- with
my Texas twang?"

"I don't think so.  At least not in a mean way."  He looked at me with
such love and innocence!

"I'm getting too hot in here.  I think I've had enough."  Said
Everett.

He climbed out of the tub and started to dry off.  I just watched him.
He looked at me once in awhile and smiled or smirked, then would look
away, embarrassed.  He then went and climbed into the king-sized bed and
waited until I got out and then he watched as I dried off, obviously
enjoying it as much as I had.

I got in the other side of the bed, and turned off the light.  He
immediately scooted over next to me and we held each other's warm body.
We were silent for about ten minutes.  Then he said,

"Remember that we were gonna experiment while my brother and Ranj were
gone?"

"Yeah?"  I said.

"They're gone!"  He said, stroking my face softly.

I couldn't help a little giggle.  Then I said, "I'm not sure if - "

"You're not my daddy.  You're my friend.  This is different.

"But - "

"No buts, Ben!"  He said then added, "Oh!  Well -- um -- maybe we
should talk about that.  You said that you made love to Ranj.  Is that
the only condition for you?"

"Huh?"

"If I wanted to give you MY butt -- would you have to love me?"

At face value, it sounded flippant -- or crass -- or something.  But I
saw none of that in his eyes.  All I saw was a hunger and - - something
else.

"I see"  he said, seeing my faltering expression.  "You can't make
love to some one you don't love."  He said it -- not bitterly -- but
more disappointed and -- maybe -- plaintive.

"Noooo, Ev, it's not - "

"I see, Ben.  No, it's okay.  You have your - "

"Ben -- no -- I -- I DO -- love you."

"Huh?"  He said, searching my eyes.  "Please don't play with me.  I
want you -- a LOT -- but don't play with my - "

"Ev, I've loved you ever since the moment I saw you.  It wasn't
romantic love then, but -- it has gotten closer all the time.  I felt
like I was in love with ranj.  I'm not sure that's true now, but - "

"You're still in love with him, aren't you?"  He said.

"No.  I still love him, but -- I'm not sure I was ever really in love
with him."

"But you don't love me - - do you?"

"Ben, I just told you that I do love you.  But, like Ranj, I can't say
I am in love with you.  I'm not even sure that's possible.  I've known
you less than a week.  But I know I love you."

"And I know I love you.  I've never had a boyfriend before, but -- I
know I want you -- while we're together.  And I want you to -- make love
to me."

I stared into Everett's eyes for a long time, trying to read what was
there, and trying to -- fight the battle that was raging inside me.  I
want this boy so much!  But I want to somehow teach him -- that sex is
something more special than just some kind of recreation or even just an
expression of love between friends.

But my body is screaming out for satisfaction -- now that he gave me
permission.  And I DO love the boy!  But -- he's still in high school!
I didn't even have sex until my sophomore year in college!  Should I be
forcing my morality on him?

"Ev -- you said that we don't have to do anything -- if I don't want
to.  Well, tonight I don't want to -- go that far.  You said you wanted
to be held.  Let's just start there.  Let's not discuss where it might
go."

"Okay."

"Please?"

"I said okay."  He said, looking serious.  "So - - hold me."

He crawled on top of me -- like I knew he had done with Rex many times.
I rubbed his back and kissed his forehead.  "This feels good!"  He
said.

"I know it does, Ev.  It feels like -- it feels like I am holding on to
a brother -- and I love the feeling."

Hee hee!  Yeah I can feel you do!"  he said as he grabbed my hard woodie
and squeezed it.  It deposited a good sized dollop of cream onto the top
of his hand.  He brought it to his mouth and licked it off, keeping my
gaze into his eyes.

The kid surely has a knack for breaking down my barriers.  I pulled him
back down on top of me and turned over to our sides.

"You really don't want to do anything - - do you?"  he said.

"It's not that I don't want to, Ev.  But I don't want to continue
something that your dad started.

"Ben,"  He started, "In the first place -- you're NOT my dad, and
secondly, you don't have any authority over me.  Whatever you are
willing to give me -- I want."

He's getting to me.  My resolve is crumbling.  "But -- but -- you're
only seventeen."  I protested -- mildly.

"So I'm not eighteen for two months!  We may not see each other in two
months."

"We may - "  I started.

"But we may not.  And anyway, how old are you, again?"  He said.

"Twenty."

"See?  You're not that much over eighteen!"  He said, low, in to my
ear, then he kissed it and sucked on my ear lobe.  I moaned.

"I want you, Ben"  he whispered.

Every fiber of my body was screaming out, "Give him what he wants!"  My
dick was so hard and throbbing, it hurt.  He stroked my face with his
fingers.  "Whatever you decide, Ben -- whatever you decide."  He
reiterated, as he melded his body into my own.

We lay there silent for several minutes -- seeming like several hours.  I
was perplexed what to do.  I felt his grip loosen slightly, then some
more.  He breathed deeply and slobbered on my neck.  He was asleep. I put
a soft pillow under his head, but kept him attached to me, as I found a
comfortable position for my own neck and head.

The light streaming in the window woke me up.  As soon as I stirred,
Everett woke up too.  "Morning, Ben."  He said, groggily, with a sleepy
smile.  I was on my side and he was facing me, his body still pressed up
hard against me, and his hardest part making it's presence known.  I
felt a rhythmical pulsing from it.

I craned my neck down and found his lips.  Both our mouths were a little
sour, but it didn't matter.  I swept the inside of his mouth with my
tongue and he did the same for me.  He took a long inhale through his
nose and climbed back on top of me.

"Ben?"

"Yes?"

"I -- feel so close to you.  I don't know -- can't tell for sure, but
-- I wonder if this is what love feels like."  He kissed the cavity next
to my neck, sending a tingling outward from it through my whole body.  My
boner pulsed, telling him it liked what he did. "Ben, I want you to -- I
think you know."

"Oh, Ev -- Ev!?  Was all I could say.  I rubbed his back and kneaded his
butt, and said, "Can we at least -- I mean -- let's continue this at
the dorm.  Your brother and Ranj will be gone, and -- I dunno -- I just
want to be wide awake and not doing anything in a weakened state."

He relaxed, obviously disappointed, onto my body.  "Okay.  I want -- no
-- well -- okay -- I just -- okay, Ben -- okay."  And he squeezed me
with all his might.  "Can we go now?"

Rex and Ranj may still be there."

"It's okay.  I'd like to see my brother before he goes to classes."

"Okay."

We got dressed and went to the nearest bus stop, hopped a bus to the
campus and found the dorm.  As we walked up path toward the dorm, Everett
held my hand.  We got some curious looks, but nothing more.

The door was open, and when we walked in, Ranj was on the couch, cradling
Rex in his arms. Rex was crying.

Notes: Thanks for all your letters!  I will try to answer them all
quickly.  As always, comments are welcome to Steve at
stevethomas535@hotmail.com.  Thanks and love, Steve