Date: Thu, 05 Jul 2007 17:55:08 +0000 From: Steve Thomas <stevethomas535@hotmail.com> Subject: Ben's Fantasy, Ch. 37 This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY! Cast of characters: Ben Hastings -- That's me! Bill "Bubba" Hastings -- My Dad Veronica Hastings -- My Mom. Reyna -- My Best Friend Ranj Kumar-- Another friend Jared -- A football whore. Rex Majors -- Ranj's roommate. Everett Majors - Rex's younger brother Mick and Mack Majors - The twins Kirby and Wyatt -- the youngest Majors Etienne Croissant -- Salesman Alan Randall -- Dad's friend Al Randall -- Alan's son. From Chapter 36: "Yeah, in a way. I've had a few doubts about my sexuality until now. Al, no more doubts: I am queer as a three dollar bill!" Al all of a sudden got a bright smile on his face. "Well, all righty then!" He said playfully. "Let's go back to the car so that poor fucker can come in here and clean himself up." "Oh! You don't think he - " "Oh yeah! He shit his pants, all right!" We walked out and I made a bee line for the car. Al stopped me and turned me around. I was almost afraid of what he would do next. He just pointed me toward the bathroom door. The guy he had scared was waddling in to the bathroom like a duck. "O gosh!" I said. "Poor guy." "You're too nice! He was an ass hole!" "I guess." "And -- I ain't gonna let any asshole call me a fag! Or you either!" Chapter 37 When we came back to the car, Mia was waiting alone. "I'm sorry, Ben, I - " Started Mia. "Where's Merry?" Interrupted Al. "D'she go to the bathroom?" "Oh -- no. Some guy came by and she just - went with him." "Is she coming back?" "I asked, but she just smiled and left." "Hrmph! Okay -- good! You come up front with me, Mia. Ben doesn't feel so hot. He'll want to be by himself." "Look, Ben, I'm sorry -- I didn't mean - " Started Mia. "Just come up here, Mia. You were awesome. Ben understands -- don't you Ben?" "It's okay -- really. I just need to think a little." I said. The movie was only half over and it wasn't long until Al and Mia were making out every bit as much as he was with Merry. He spied me watching them. "Oh Ben! I guess I got carried away. Sorry." "Heh," I responded, "I could lie and tell you I didn't notice. But it's okay. I was almost amused, actually." "I'm sorry too, Ben." Said Mia. "You must think I'm awfully shallow." (I did!) "We'll watch the rest of the movie. Matter of fact, Al, lets get in the back seat with Ben, so he doesn't feel alone." "Oh, you don't need to do that!" I protested. "I'm just - " "Great idea!" Said Al. "It'll be fun to sit between my new date and my new best friend!" He was all grins. "But you'll both have to promise not to gang up and take advantage of me - - ooooo! Wait a minute! I've never BEEN gang banged before! Maybe - - " He looked me up and down, then continued, "NNnnnnn- No! I think not!" He laughed as he opened his door and then mine and waited for Mia to slide in next to me. Then he said, Nuh-uh! It's my car! I get the middle!" He slid in the middle of us and put his arms around both of us and kissed us both on the cheek, laughing all the while. Through the remainder of summer, Al, Mia and I were pretty much a threesome, going everywhere together. With my big commissions from the car sales, I was able to pretty much keep up with them, which felt good. We went to Disneyland regularly, and of course surfed a lot! I even bought my own second hand board. It had a few dings, but it worked fine. Al's mom's Escalade became the car of choice. Ev came as much as possible. And he used Al's extra board. All of our boards easily fit in the rear of the Escalade. Al didn't treat Mia like he treated the other bimbos -- well, mostly because she wasn't a bimbo, I guess. She gave his crap back to him -- definitely his match. And she was fun! Of course they saw each other without me too, and I assumed they doing each other, but they had enough class not to flaunt it. He actually seemed to becoming very attached to Mia. I was too -- but maybe not quite in the same way! What surprised me was the change I saw in Al. He became less abrasive all around. Sometimes I thought maybe he was becoming too sedate. I was a little worried about him. I guess his parents noticed too. "This girl seems to have a big effect on you, Son. Are you -- making any plans -- or anything?" "No, Dad." He said. "I don't know if we -- I mean -- I like her a lot. She's my -- um -- equal or something." Alan looked at me as if considering whether to include me in his father-son talk. Then he went on, "And -- you are not too sure you like a girl being your equal -- right?" "I dunno, Dad." Then Al looked at me in the same way his dad had. He continued, "Dad, I've never felt this way about a girl before." "Yes, well, that's - " His dad started. "But - - I've never felt this way about a guy either, Dad!" He said, looking at me. "Huh?" Both Alan and I said together. "Ben, I thought you were my best friend. And you ARE my best friend! But it's getting confusing. I've never had a guy friend who I -- um -- felt this way about. I guess I didn't know what a best friend really was! I'd do anything for you Ben!" I was feeling really strange and - - really good. I liked Al too. "But -- Ben -- Dad -- I'm feeling the same way about Mia. Can a guy have two best friends?" "I can't tell you what's in your -- heart, Son. I don't know why you couldn't be -- or -- feel -- close to two people at once. Is that all you feel for her? I mean -- does she get your juices going in any other way?" "Well, - um -- yeah! I mean, we've never -- um -- done anything like -- you know!" Al looked between his dad and me, blushing maybe for the second time ever. "Dad, if Ben were not here, I'd maybe think I was falling in love with her. But -- if what I feel for her feels just like what I feel for Ben -- then it can't be love - - can it?" "Al, you've had buddies in high school -- football pals and all -- didn't you get close to any of -- well yeah! I remember that you and Bobby Pickins were inseparable -- at least for awhile. Did that feel anything like this?" "Dad -- Bobby and I were friends okay, but -- all we ever did was joke around and slap each other around -- for fun and stuff. I don't think we ever had a meaningful -- anything. Not like I have with Mia - - or Ben. We have -- well -- more than meaningful conversations. We get pretty deeply involved -- you know -- talking about life and out futures and stuff like that." "Maybe it's your age, Al." Said Alan. "When you start to grow up, you have a tendency to see things a little more seriously. "But -- Dad -- what about my feelings for her. Shouldn't they be -- well -- at least stronger than what I feel for Ben?" "Probably in some ways. Well, obviously! But -- I don't see anything wrong with a boy and a girl -- oops I mean a young man and woman -- being best friends -- before they become romantically involved. As a matter of fact, that may be the best way to court. Be their friend first. Then see if it develops in to something more." "O -- kay -- thanks Dad." Al looked as confused at the end of the conversation as when we started. Another thing that changed a little as the summer was coming to its end was Everett. He had moved into my room, so the little boys could have their own room. I assured Dad that we did nothing but sleep together. He trusted us a lot I guess, because many mornings he would wake us up and we were spooning like a couple of lovers. But toward the end of summer, Everett was increasingly staying on his side of the bed. I would sometimes move over and spoon with him -- and that was no problem. But he didn't make the advances like he used to. I think he still liked it when I spooned with him. And even though he had taken Al's lead in sleeping nude -- I always still wore my sleep pants. Oh! The other thing that was different was that -- even though they never once dated or stayed together at any time, Red and Everett were spending more and more time together when we went to the beach. Nothing overt was happening, but by summers end they sought every chance to be together talking. Not of course when Red was life-guarding. He had to keep his attention on the water then. But even then, sometimes Ev would just sit under the shadow of the lifeguard tower, when he wasn't surfing -- which was more and more lately. All they seemed to do was talk all the time. The most overt thing that they did was to sometimes touch each other -- like one would touch the other's upper arm as they talked -- of course something that two straight, shirtless guys would NOT do. They did that. And of course the fact that Ev was seemingly pulling away from me at night. I didn't quite know what to think or do about that. It kind of hurt my feelings -- but only a little. Mom and Dad made a huge deal of my birthday. Well, mine and Everett's birthdays. We went surfing on the 30th - the day before our birthday. Al told me to wait. "I want you to try a different board." He went into the board rental shop and came out with a very long board. It was really the same as his. "This isn't a beginner's board, Ben. I wanted you to try it out here -- before we go to Hawaii." I did try it. The extra length was very easy to get used to. I could practically fly when on the nose of the board, and racing from the crest of a wave. And then it took several steps to get back when I was too far ahead. That was the hardest part to get used to. I was a Bic Noserider 10 foot CTS Longboard. At the end of the day, he asked how I liked it. "It's awesome!" I said. "I love it!" "Happy Birthday Bro!" He said quietly. I looked over toward the lifeguard tower, and Ev was laying below it-- in the shade -- watching Red scan the water. "I guess I'll give mine to Ev." I said. "Naw -- you can sell your's on e-bay. Ev deserves a new board. I already have it for him -- but I'll give it to him tomorrow. It's nothing like yours of course, but it's still a good one. Oh! Did you -- have something for him -- other than the board? Oh! I've got it! YOU give him the new board I bought!" "I can't do that! I -- I have to buy it myself. And I have something - " "Who said you would not buy it yourself? His board only cost me about a hundred bucks. Can you swing that?" "Actually -- I can! Would you mind? But then you won't have anything for him!" "What were you going to give him?" Al asked me. "Nothing like a surf board! It's just a whale tail pendant." "Can I buy it from you? That'd probably be a better gift from me anyway. I just wanted him to have a board of his own." "Cool!" I said. "How much?" "Haha! It was a little over a hundred!" "Well, all righty then! We're even! Haha!" "You gonna get me a nice board like that for MY birthday?" Said Mia. "When's your birthday?" "May 26." "Well then I'm pretty safe for now aren't I?" he laughed. "EV!" Al hollered at the top of his lungs. Ev looked over and Al beckoned to him. It was time to go home. "Hey Bro, I doubt that Everett will notice any difference in this board. Don't say anything to him. If we call attention to it, then his won't be so special when he gets it tomorrow." "Gotcha!" I agreed. Our birthday party was a barbecue -- this time at our house. The Randals were all there, plus all our friends and of course all my newly acquired brothers. Mia came too, as did Jared and even Red came -- well, it was obvious that Ev would like him there! And the big surprise was that Rex came! He had moved back home with his mom for the summer. With his dad in prison, he felt duty bound to take care of her. He well understood that she had allowed his dad to molest Everett, Mick and Mack, but he still felt sorry for her and loved her. But the good news was he was here for Ev's birthday. Even I was surprised about that! Another surprise -- though I was not as excited about it as Everett was about his brother being here -- was that Ranj was there. I was very curious about why Mom and Dad would invite him to my party. It was kind of bittersweet seeing him. I mean, I still have feelings for him. He was my first! But -- with all that happened between us -- why did they invite him? I was expressing this to my new best friend. Al told me I should talk to Rex. "I could tell you, but I'd probably get it wrong." "Oh, Ben! I'm so sorry!" Said Rex, when I caught up with him. "Maybe I should have told you -- or warned you -- or something, but -- when Ranj heard that you were having a big party for your 21st -- and that I was going -- he kind of invited himself. He asked me to keep it a surprise -- so I did. I'm sorry it wasn't exactly a good surprise." I told Rex it was okay. It was just kind of a shock. I could deal with it. When Red left the party, of course Ev walked him out to his car -- with Rex, Ranj and me in tow. Both Rex and Ranj had hit it off with Red. He asked Ev to go for a ride with him, and of course Everett jumped at that chance. As far as I knew, it was the first time they would ever be together alone. "He seems like a really cool guy!" Said Rex, starting for the house. I started to follow him. Ranj touched my arm and said, "Wait a moment -- will you? I want to give you something." He smiled and then said, "We'll be back in a while, Rex." Rex looked hard at me -- for an okay -- and I nodded. He went in the house. "Can we go to that little park around the corner?" "I -- I guess." I couldn't hide my reticence about going. I wasn't afraid. He was never violent when we were alone. But he took it that way. "Please -- I -- I won't hurt you. Relax Sweet -- um -- I mean -- Ben. Lets just walk." "God the sky is beautiful tonight!" he said. "Have you ever seen a moon that big?" He talked most of the way to the park about things like that. When we got to the park, I expected he'd go to a dark secluded place that we knew about. But he led me to the middle of the baseball diamond, where the moon shone almost as bright as day. "Ben -- I just didn't want anyone else around when I gave you this." He sighed. "Happy 21st birthday!" I opened the oblong box. I was careful not to rip the very carefully done wrapping or the gilded-looking ribbon. I opened the box inside the wrapping and there was a gold bracelet -- with 21 imprinted on the clasp. I looked closer and saw that it was not imprinted at all. The 21 was studded with diamonds. I looked up at Ranj, not knowing what to say to refuse such an extravagant gift. I opened my mouth. "Don't say anything yet -- please, Ben." He said. "Um -- I wondered before I came and actually wasn't sure if I would give it to you. I was deathly afraid that you had a boyfriend. I'm not even sure that you don't. But -- you and that Al guy -- seem awfully close. Is he -- I mean, I'd never guess he was anything close to -- gay. Is he -- I mean - " I thought about telling him that Al Was my boyfriend. I knew Al would play the part if I asked him. I had told him about Ranj. Actually, if he knew that I was going for a walk with him, he'd have been here at this moment. "He's just a friend." I finally admitted. "Oh. So -- okay -- I was reading him right. You two are just friends." "Well, it's more than that. It's -- well -- we're like -- best friends." "That's cool. I mean -- not too cool for me -- I was hoping that -- maybe you'd -- I mean -- Shit!" Ranj turned away from me for a moment. When he turned back, his eyes were wet. "Ben -- I've changed -- a lot! I'm out to all the team -- and in school. "Ben -- since you left, all I can think about is you! I know I blew it screwing every boy I could get into my bed -- I have no excuse -- except it my first time away from home - - and I missed you so desperately! But since you left, I stopped that. It all became so empty! It was an addiction to me. It was my high when I felt low, but -- it always left me feeling empty. "When you came back there, I was in shock. I had you on a pedestal, and then you saw me at my worst. When you left, I just couldn't do that any more. I stopped cold turkey. You can ask Rex. I can't call him a best friend, but still he was the best friend I had -- er -- have. But still, he was so disgusted with me, and really I was disgusted with myself. "After you left me there and came back here, having saved all those little boys -- I practically worshipped you -- from afar. I knew that I could never be worthy of you. But now here I am!" He fell to his knees. With tears streaming down his face he didn't touch me, but looked up and said, "Ben, I have changed. I'm clean now. And I don't mean only clean from my sexual addiction. I've been tested over and over -- and some how -- maybe miraculously -- I am clean of anything bad. "The only thing bad I have now is -- this thing I have for you. I've got that really bad. Ben I don't think I'll ever love anyone else. When you left, I wanted to die! I actually thought it would feel better to be dead -- than go on living -- wanting and -- loving you so much. It actually hurt -- physically -- sometimes it was hard to even breathe it hurt so much. "I'd never kill myself, Ben, but that's how it felt. Ben will you please -- PLEASE -- give me another chance? I'll show you I can control my self -- my temper. I don't want to live without you. Please?" I sighed. I felt everything he was saying to me deep in my heart -- deep in my chest. I reached down and pulled him up -- back up to my level. I was at a complete loss what to say. Ranj -- I - " My eyes were of course overflowing too. "Shhh - " he said and he came to me and kissed me. I had forgotten what his kisses were like. He was the one who taught me how to kiss -- and yet this kiss felt more wonderful that I had remembered. And yet it wasn't the kiss as much as -- the feeling -- I was having. It wasn't just my lips or my mouth -- or even the parts below -- that were reacting -- though these were all reacting in the way you can imagine! My whole body was reacting. Have I forgotten what love feels like? I mean -- I definitely never felt this feeling with Etienne. I know I loved him in some ways, but not like this! And I also had no doubt that it was love I felt -- feel -- for Everett! But I instantly recognized(after just this one kiss with Ranj!) the love for Ev was like a big brother. There was nothing which compared to what it felt like to be in the arms of Ranj again. I definitely kissed him back! "We really have to get back, Ranj -- my -- people will wonder where the birthday boy went." I said and kissed him again, desperate for it to last until we could see each other again. "Come on Ranj. Let's go back to the party." "I know, sweetheart, I know! Oh my -- God -- thank you!" he said and we walked quickly back to my house. Just before we went in the door, I put on my new bracelet, then grabbed him and kissed him one more time. I'm sure we looked flushed as we came in. Both Rex and Al looked at me, concerned. I smiled at them both. They relaxed. "You're back just in time!" Mom said. "We're about to light the cakes." She had made my cake -- orange cake with orange frosting -- my favorite -- and she had bought an ice cream cake for Ev. He had come back before I did. As soon as I saw him, he held up his hand. The ring I had given him -- which he refused to take off when we broke up -- was gone and in its place was a shiny gold one that looked like some kind of weave. He later told me it was a Celtic Knot. After blowing out our candles, and eating some cake, Everett announced that for his 18th birthday he was going out with Red and they would probably not be back for the night. He was beaming when he announced it, and I don't think he saw the disapproval on my dad's face, nor the worry on Mom's. Al whispered in my ear -- "What happened to Red's daddy fixation?" I shrugged. "So, DUDE!" Said Al. "Are we going to go out and take your new board to the wedge tomorrow? I can stay here and we can leave early in the morning." I turned to Ranj. "How long will you be here?" "As long as you can stand me. I gotta go back to school on Tuesday -- after Labor day. What plans do you have?" "I'm actually leaving Sunday morning for Hawaii -- Maui. Everett and I are going there with Al -- to Red's family's condo. But -- can you stay here tonight?" "Oh." Said Al. He looked crestfallen. "You probably don't want me to -- I mean -- that's okay I can go home -- or sleep on your couch -- or - " "Why don't you and I go over to my parents for the night?" said Ranj. "That way Al won't have to sleep on the couch. What time did you need to leave for the -- was it the wedge, Al?" "Yeah -- um -- oh, yeah. Um -- well, 8:00 AM would be fine." "Look, I don't want to mess up your weekend. I'll have him back by 8:00 -- ready to rock!" Said Ranj. "O -- okay." Said Al. yeah -- that'll work." He sounded less than enthusiastic. "You sure that's okay, Dude?" said Ranj. "We can -- maybe -- I mean -- it's just been so long since Ben and I have -- um -- seen -- each other." Al recovered and said, "No -- it'll be fine." He grinned his winning grin and seemed fine. "All righty then! We'll see you in the morning -- bright and early!" I grabbed some clothes, including my sleep shorts, but I was pretty sure what was happening. I was sure that Ranj's parents were not at home. He wouldn't bring me there if they were. As I said my good byes -- as if I were only spending the night with a buddy -- I could see what Everett probably could not: The disapproval in my dad's eyes and the worry in Mom's. Something deep inside me was urging me to give this some more thought. I pushed all thought out. All the way to Ranj's parents house, we talked about anything except what was coming. I asked about spring training, and how summer workouts had been. I told him all about learning to surf, and by the time we were at his house, I was hyper as I'd ever been. We went in and he took me up to the familiar bedroom/bath that I had such fond memories of. As soon as we were in his room, he grabbed me and kissed me deeply -- more so than at the park -- more than I could remember ever doing. Has he learned even more about kissing. I asked him where he had learned how to kiss like that? Had I just forgotten? "I have been studying tantric techniques. It's just subtle ways to make everything better." He said, taking off his shirt. If I had been tantalized by his chest before, I was more so this time. It was bigger and had more hair than before. And yet when he gently removed my own shirt and pressed his half naked body to my own, it felt softer than it had ever felt. He then unbuttoned my jeans and then his own, and slid them all down and we stood there, our pants and underwear at our ankles and basking in the glow of each other's eyes. I again felt the heady feeling I got the first time I saw his uncut meat, standing at attention, with the head still buried deep in his generous hood. Without a word, he knelt and started to untie my shoes. He stopped and looked up at me -- then sniffed my package. He closed his eyes and had to steady himself from almost falling as he almost swooned with the odor of my day's collection of odors. He hugged my legs and buried his nose in my pubes, breathing deeply of everything he could gather. He removed my shoes and socks and then pulled the rest of my clothes off. Then he kicked all of his own off. He then stood back up and picked me up as he had done almost a year ago, and carried me toward the bathroom. While he was carrying me, I felt his erstwhile soft chest. It had become hard as a rock, maybe only rivaled by his rock hard boner that was punching one of my butt cheeks and shifting his foreskin back and forth as he carried me. When we got to the shower, he pulled me closer, still carrying me and kissed me deeply again. I felt something wet on my butt. I didn't have to wonder, because I was producing voluminous amounts of precum myself. "Oh my God! Thank you, God!" He said again. He put me gently down on the floor of the shower. "Don't turn on the shower yet -- please." I said. I dropped to my knees and immediately thrust my nose into his pubes and then felt faint from the wonderful smell that I could never forget, and yet it was like I was smelling it for the first time again. I flicked out my tongue and tasted his boner. It was salty. Then I surrounded the head and sucked it out of its skin. That taste! That wonderful, acrid, but purely sexual taste of the natural musk that God intended man to produce! I sucked gently but the unreal amounts of saliva bathed him in warm juices and I cleaned every bit if his smegma, mixed with the generous amounts of precum that he was producing nearly as fast as I could milk it from him. I bathed everything under this wonderful helmet with my tongue and lips. He was moaning loudly. I came back up to his face and kissed him again. "You like that taste don't you?" He said as he turned on the water. "I don't like it myself." "It's more like I crave it, Ranj. I'll never ever forget that smell or taste. It will always be -- you!" He kissed me again as the instantly and perfectly warm water started to wash over us. I closed my eyes and it was as if we were under a waterfall somewhere deep in the Indian highlands. My only concern was that he might want to make full, anal love this night -- and I was not ready for that. As it turned out, I had nothing to worry about. He seemed to know just how far to take me. We got each other off over and over all night in different ways, from sucking to hand jobs to faux. That was the only thing I was able to teach him. We slept the last four hours until the alarm went off at 7:AM. He woke me with a kiss. Both our breaths smelled sour and like we had been to an all night orgy. Well duh! Ranj was getting ready to take me home, and I had to break it to him -- gently - - or not: "Ranj, if we had not had last night -- I would forever wonder if I had done the right thing. It was more than amazing, Ranj." "It WAS, wasn't it?" He agreed. "But Ranj -- something was missing." "No, Ben. Baby don't - " "You see? -- you knew it was coming." I said. "I was afraid, but - " "Ranj, now I know." "What, Babe -- what do you know?" "I know I'll never be quite over you, and I'll always remember you as someone I used to love." "Used to?" He said, looking down. "Ranj, I know you felt it too -- felt that even as hot and moving as our sex was -- it was empty." "No -- Ben -- babe -- nooooo - " "Yes -- Ranj, yes. It's true. We can never be a couple. I will never feel safe. My dreams were -- well -- awful. I can't live -- forever fearful that I might do something wrong -- at the wrong time. I need someone I can trust." "Ohhh -- noooo, babe -- nooo -- you can trust me I have changed, I'll - " "You deserve someone who will give himself -- all of himself -- to you completely. Someone you cannot overpower and who will love you for the fun and strong guy you are. I cannot be that for you. And -- I can't ever let myself trust you. I've been scarred too many times." "Oh, Ben -- Ben -- Ben. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'M SORRY!" He crumpled at my feet and cried like a baby, holding my legs and kissing my feet. I love you Ben. I love you Ben! Please don't leave me again! Please! I don't think I can stand it." "You told me you would not off yourself. And you and I know it's true. You will get over me -- now that there is a clean break." "I'll always love you, Ben, always. And I know that you will always love me. You're right. I won't do anything to myself, but - - without you I will BE dead. Oh Ben Ben Ben! I am so sorry! I am so sooo hurt!" Then the clock in the entry struck 8. Omigod, you're late, Ben! You're late. You're gonna leave me forever - and I am -- I am -- dead! Get dressed my sweet - um - Oh my god! I'm really losing you for good! He sighed took a deep breath and said, "I'll take you home." Then added again, "Omigod, I'm really losing you again -- for ever!" He disappeared into the next room as I put my shoes and shirt on. I could hear him sobbing and shuddering. When I walked out, he dried his eyes and said, "Okay, I guess I better take you back." When we pulled in front of my house, he said, "I'll never bother you again, Babe. You know where I will be if you ever -- but no, I guess you won't." I removed the bracelet and said, "Save this Ranj. Save it for someone who can do it justice." I handed it to him. He stared past me a moment, his eyes again swimming, and he looked into my eyes, also full, and said, "I'll always love you, Ben. Always." "Me too, Ranj. Me too." I said and I walked slowly into the house. I went in to the house. Ev was back home, all smiles, with Red by his side. They and Al were all dressed to go to the beach. I said, "I'll be right out." I went to my bedroom, closed the door and changed into my surfer shorts. I passed my bed on my way to the door. I threw myself on to it and buried my face in the pillow and silently screamed out my agony into my pillow. As I waited for Al to pull his mom's big car out of our garage, I saw something shiny under a plant in our neighbors flower bed. I walked over and it was my bracelet. I picked up and smelled it -- hoping to catch one last sniff of -- but -- there was no smell. I slipped it in to one of my pockets. On the way to the beach, with Ev and Red in the back seat lost in each other's eyes, Al said, "You did the right thing, Ben." I hunched down low in the seat and started to weep silently. Al rubbed my arm in sympathy. "In two days, we'll do everything we can to help you forget, bro. Right now that's the most important thing in my life!" Notes: Kind of a bittersweet 21st birthday for Ben! I cried writing this one! But it was what subby dictated to me! Comments are welcome to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve