Date: Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:59:21 +0000 From: Steve Thomas <stevethomas535@hotmail.com> Subject: Ben's fantasy - final chapter (42) This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY! Cast of characters: Ben Hastings -- That's me! Bill "Bubba" Hastings -- My Dad Veronica Hastings -- My Mom. Reyna -- My Best Friend Ranj Kumar-- Another friend Jared -- A football whore. Rex Majors -- Ranj's roommate. Everett Majors - Rex's younger brother Mick and Mack Majors - The twins Kirby and Wyatt -- the youngest Majors Etienne Croissant -- Salesman Alan Randall -- Dad's friend Al Randall -- Alan's son. Darla Randall -- Alan's wife Tony -- Biking guy From Chapter 41: My cell phone rang. Al looked in the direction of where it landed. I walked over to it. "Strange place to keep your phone!" Said Al. I saw it was Tony. "Hello?" "I had to call you. Are you gonna be okay?" I hope I didn't answer too exuberantly. "I'm gonna be just fine." "Huh?" "My best friend is here." I said. "I hope you are okay." I said. "I'm not. Be glad you're not religious! Okay -- well, I just wanted to be sure you're okay. Bye." "Bye, Tony." Chapter 42 "Is he gonna be okay?" Said Al. "I think so -- well, as okay as he lets himself be." "What's his problem?" "His religion, I think. He believes in it -- and wants to -- I dunno -- be good, I guess." "Gawd! I don't think I ever met anyone as good as that boy! So I suppose he's gonna wear the ugly underwear again!" "You thought it was ugly? I liked it. It was pure white -- kind of like Tony -- and it fit snugly -- I liked those long legged briefs!" "I believe that's an oxymoron." He said. Well, anyway -- Omigod, I can't wait to -- Ben -- we're going to a hotel -- NOW!" "Haha! You're so cute -- for such a tough, straight guy!" "I'm almost afraid, Ben! I just want - I wanna do everything at once!" he said, barely able to keep from picking me up and carrying me to his Testarossa. "Mom!´ I hollered. "Al and I are going out for breakfast." "Are you feeling better?" "Oh yeah, mom -- I feel much better. Thanks for calling my best friend!" We walked out the door, and I said, "Well, let's slow down a little. Did you like my kiss?" "Oh hell yes!" As soon as we got into the garage, (Dad always insisted he park that car in the garage.) he grabbed me and kissed me again, flip-flopping between romantic and -- giddy. Then he grabbed my crotch. "And I wanna SUCK on this! I've always wanted to try it! "Always?" I marveled. "Well, I used to think about it when I was in high school. Wondering, more than anything. But being surrounded by so many super macho -- and hot -- guys on the team, I felt guilty, stupid, and like a fag -- sorry -- even considering it. I think it's why I treated girls so shitty. I always had a reason NOT to fuck them. The truth was -- I wasn't remotely interested in doing that. "I think some of them actually knew it." He continued. "And I don't even know what to think of that. I know they wanted to be seen with the hot guy that drives the Ferrari. I suppose that's another reason I treated them so bad. Ben - I used to lie awake at night, doing two things: Thinking of what it might be like to suck a guy off and - - hating myself for even thinking about it. Okay -- maye there were THREE things I did! But the hate came AFTER the wank. I was also so afraid of what Dad would think. I was surprised at how nice he has been about you -- knowing you are gay -- he has treated you like a second son. It gives me some courage to tell him someday -- that I -- um -- that I - " I giggled. "Sorry, babe! I don't mean to laugh at you. And I'm not!" I said. "It's just that I've been through it -- a little younger than you, but -- it's hard to say isn't it? It was maybe even harder for me to say it to myself -- because when I came out -- to myself -- there was only me. And to tell myself -- `I'm gay' - - was hard. Maybe the hardest thing I ever did. "Then -- the next thing I did was tell Reyna. She lives next door and until I met Ranj -- she was my best friend. Gosh, how gay is that? How many guys have a girl for a best friend?" "Pretty gay. Mine was too! But I never told her I was gay." "Well, telling Reyna I was gay was maybe the 2nd hardest thing that I ever had to do." "Did you hate yourself?" "Not really. But then, I wasn't some macho football hero like you are!" "Ben -- it's still pretty hard -- DAMN! I was getting so horny! And now -- we're talking about -- can we continue this later? Look at this?" He grabbed his crotch. "It went all soft on me. The only time I can ever remember when I WANTED it to be hard in public! Haha!" He started the Testarossa. "VROOM!" He went to grab the gear shift. I grabbed his hand and put it on another stick. He craned his neck over to me and we kissed again." Gawd! Who taught you to kiss like that?" "Do you really want to know?" "Omigod! It wasn't Tony!?" "No way. It was -- Ranj." "Um -- I don't have any reason to worry about him -- do I? I mean, his name comes up often -- doesn't it." "Yeah, well -- he sort of made friends with my dad and -- they have watched a few games together." "But -- do you still have feelings for him?" "I -- wish we didn't have to talk about this, Al." "But -- we sort of do. I don't want -- um -- don't want -- for my babe -- to be wishing he was with -- someone else." "That will never be a problem. I will always have feelings for him. He was my first. And since we didn't part on bad feelings -- I still -- um - " "Love him?" He looked concerned. I looked into my best friend's eyes. "Al, you have nothing to worry about. I even felt more attached to Tony than to Ranj." "So -- I have two guys to worry about?" "Please, Al -- stop. I have felt love -- romantic love -- for three guys, and - " "Three?!" "But they're in the past. You said you want to try it. I do too. Al, I already love you so much -- just as my best friend. It's almost scary to -- to -- try a relationship -- with you." "Why?" "Because if it doesn't work out -- I'll lose my best friend. We can never go back." "Yeah -- I see that. Um -- who's the third?" "You have a one track mind, don't you? It was Everett." "What?!!" He could not contain his shock. "You mean you didn't figure that out in Maui?" "Omigod! Am I that dense?" "Well, - probably it's -- you're that much of a MAN!" He grinned. It was obvious that this was still important to him. "Now can we go get something to eat -- Best Friend? I'm starved!" "I will now take you to breakfast -- BOYfriend!" "I noticed that you're still not quite as horny as when we left my house." I said as we were eating breakfast. "Oho! So -- you still have a thing or two to learn about Alan Randal! You see that Days Inn across the street? You see the swimming pool? Well we'll go for a swim first, then we will go into the room and - - um - - " "I didn't bring anything to swim in," I said., "and I doubt they want us skinny dipping!" "You see the Wal-Mart next to the Motel?" "You can just buy anything you want, huh?" I said. "I hope you don't mean what it sounded like? I'm not trying to buy you, Ben. You can use money as a means of making things easier -- or you can make it an end -- a goal. I just saw the logic in your argument about not swimming nude." "Sorry -- but that's not what I was referring to. It just -- I mean -- I'm not used to just buying whatever I want." "Get used to it. And don't worry -- you will be required to pull your end of the deal. But my dad has more money that even I know about, and -- I plan to get my education -- the easy way -- not working. I hope that you and I will stay boyfriends -- for a long time. And as long as I'm your boyfriend -- you too will get your education -- the easy way!" We finished our breakfast and went to the motel. We checked in, then walked to Wal-Mart and bought ourselves some new surfer shorts. Well, okay -- HE bought them! Then we went back to the room. We undressed to go for a swim. When he saw me naked -- and I him -- we practically jumped at each other. Our hands flew all over one another's bodies, and of course we both popped instant boners. Al picked me up and started to carry me to the bed -- then stopped. "Is this okay with you?" He asked. "You're kidding -- right?" He kissed me deeply and said, Omigod, Ben! I love you so much! It blows me away, I love you so much. Now that you can -- um -- accept it, - and I can let it go -- All I can say is -- Omigod! I mean -- I didn't know feelings like this even -- existed!" He just stood there holding me like a baby, and hugging me, his tears dropping on my chest. "Sorry, Ben, but I'm just -- um -- I just can't find any other way to express -- what I feel -- for you." "See the guy looking into your eyes?" I said. "See how much he understands?" I smiled through my own tears. We both licked salty tears from our mouth and kissed again. He lay me gently on the bed. "Ben -- I know you're more experienced than I am. But -- can we take it kinda slow? I want to -- um -- well, savor every new thing that we do." "I'd rather do it that way, Babe." "I like it when you call me that. I heard you calling Tony `Baby'. I don`t care much for that. But -- `Babe' -- I like. Um -- You guys -- well -- I mean -- oh, never mind!" he sounded disgusted with himself. "It's okay, babe, you can ask me anything. I'll try to answer it to your satisfaction. I WILL tell you the truth!" "I mean -- when you did - um -- that -- with Tony in the shower. It looked so easy. Have you done it that much?" "Tony was the first guy I made love to in that way." "No shit?" "No -- kidding!" "Er -- sorry -- no Kidding?" "That's what I meant. It's true. The only other time I even- I mean -- Ranj got me once. But other than that, Tony was the only other one. It was his first ever, and it was the first time I ever put my -- dick -- into anyone's butt. And -- I think you saw it the second time. You werent' there the first time. The first time I got him. He begged me to." "Was it good?" "Al -- Babe -- I thought I was in love with him. What do you think?" "I -- um -- sorry! I'm spoiling the mood again. Well, um -- it just seems kind of gross to me you know?" "Would you believe -- I DO know?" I said. "But in the shower it was easy. And I think that the hair conditioner must have surrounded the poop and -- isolated it from me. I never once got poop on my -- er -- on me anywhere. And as far as I know -- neither did he." We were both softening again, talking about me and Tony. "Shit! I wonder if I will ever be able to just be satisfied to be here with you and forget all that other crap." "It's okay, Babe. It's okay. We have to talk about this stuff sometime." "I didn't want to at THIS time! All I want to do is -- feel you and -- kiss you and -- and - " "Suck me?" "Oh GAWD yes!" "Do you want me to suck you first?" I asked. "I really don't. Is there a reason that you should?" "Well -- if you've never done it -- it may give you some ideas -- how to do it." I was NOT gonna mention Tony! "Oh! Yeah! Well - - DUH!" He said. and then -- "Um -- did you have to show Tony -- how?" "Yeah he was pretty much a virgin to it too." "Pretty much?" "An older Boy Scout sucked him off a few times when he was 12. He was so gung ho to do me -- that I let him -- and it was okay." "Haha! But with me you want it to be better than `okay', huh?" "Oh! Yeah! Well - - DUH!" I teased him. He jumped on top of me and grinding himself in to me, he kissed me almost violently -- but not anything to hurt me. We were both just so horny for each other. Both our dicks were pumping out plenty of precum -- as they slid past each other. His natural thrusting action felt great! We kissed and kissed and then I started to kiss his neck and shoulders. He giggled. "That tickles!" he said. I stopped. "No -- don't stop! I love it!" I kissed and licked his neck and shoulders again and he shivered and giggled some more. Okay, so I found one of his erogenous zones! I pulled on his ear lobe with my teeth. He moaned. Hmm -- guess he likes that too. I moved down and started to lick his nipples. He pretty much splayed himself out in a spread eagle position, and I slowly slid down his torso, giving maximum attention to all the areas that I knew were sensitive on me: both titties, his navel, and then when I licked and kissed the area beside his genitals -- his upper and inner thigh, he cried out. He was gonna be easy -- he had so many zones! Then I moved to the target area. I first teased at it -- pulling at his pubes with my teeth. He giggled at that and also moaned when my chin hit the side of his glans. I licked my way down the shaft to his balls. They weren't as big as Tony's, but they were bigger than mine. I lolled each in my mouth long enough for his moaning to slow down, then I licked my way back to the top, and literally sucked in the head. He screamed in delight! "Geez! I'm glad you did this first. AAahhhhh! I woulda just -- Eeeeee! I woulda just -- ohhhhh, I can't -- I mean - " I would have told his to shut up and enjoy it -- if my mouth wasn't otherwise engaged. I was learning something else about him. He ANALyzes everything! But -- I didn't have to say anything, because when I started to bob up and down, he let out a long, high pitched moan that was ample reward for me for my service. I thought about teasing him by stopping just before he went off, but thought better of it. I'd explain that to him later. If I do it now, his analyzing brain will kick in again and he won't enjoy it as much. Since this was his first time, he was very quick to cum. And I guessed that he had not jacked off for awhile because the volume was immense. He started to moan loudly as I started my bobbing, and just kept getting louder until he started to make choking sounds. "Oh! Uh! UFF!! Aaaiiiii! You -- um -- I -- don't -- I never -- omigod! Aaaaaiiiiiii!" He shot course after course into my mouth. I decided to save the deep throat for later too. His thrusting was light and involuntary. He stayed pretty much spread eagle the whole time. When he was finished, I licked up all the spunk I couldn't hold -- from his, by now, very tender softy. He was wiggling and shrieking as I did that too. Then I moved up and planted a cummy kiss on his mouth. "Oh!" he said, grimacing. "Is THAT what I taste like?" "Yeah!" I said. "pretty great, huh?" "Um - Pretty gross!" "NOT!" I said. "Oh! Well, it is something you have to get used to. I promise you will like it by the end of next week!" I laughed. "But when you do me, you have to at least pretend you like it!" I laughed again. He pushed me up and climbed on top of me. His eyes looked tired. "What're you doing?" I asked. "You!" He said. "It's your turn." "No -- first we swim!" I said. "You don't even want to do it now." "The fuck I don't. You did me and now I do you!" He said forcefully. I smiled -- it was more like a silent laugh. "What?" He demanded. "Well, I suppose you could force me -- if that's how you want it." "What?" He said. "No! Don't you -- what the fuck are you talking about?" "Okay -- first of all, can we lighten up on the vulgar talk? That would make me much more -- um -- happy and satisfied." "Oh -- oh -- oh! I'm sorry! I forgot -- you don't like that!" "Well especially when the guy I love most in the world is gonna make love to me." But anyway -- You want to please me, don't you?" "Well -- YEAH!" "But before you really wanted to suck me -- or maybe anyone -- you wanted to experience it -- didn't you?" "What the f -- what're you talking about?? I still do!" "No -- I don't think so. Now all you WANT to do is lie here and maybe cuddle -- and maybe not even that. But you just can't stand to leave me unfulfilled." "Is that bad?" No -- it`s one of the reasons I love you. But I want you to know that you cumming so hard and so much -- and me being the reason for it -- was enough for me for now. When you do your first blow job, I want it to be everything it can be for you. I want you to crave it like you did earlier this morning -- like you have craved it since you were a teenager. Then when you do me, you'll get a lot more from it -- and so will I!" Al lay there on top of me a few seconds, considering what I said. "You're right! Ben, I love you so much, all I wanted was to make you feel like I just felt!" He got off and said, "Let's go swimming!" "Is that how you regenerate?" "Huh?" "Let's just lay here for a few minutes -- so you can catch your breath. You have just been on -- maybe -- the wildest ride of your life. Don't you want to rest and enjoy the feeling for a moment?" He flopped over on his back beside me, again spread-eagle. "You are so smart! How do you know these things?" "Well, you said it earlier. I'm more experienced at these things." "Oh -- yeah!" He grabbed my hand and held it, then brought it up to his mouth and kissed it. Then he sucked two of my fingers into his mouth. That somehow was so erotic to me. He sucked and tongued them for a long time, closing his eyes and as his breath became slower and slower, I realized he had fallen asleep. I tried to pull my hand free a couple times, but he would start sucking harder. I gave up and left them in his mouth. After about five minutes he let them slip out. I turned gently and quietly and watched his face. It was so angelic while he was asleep. His eyes fluttered under his lids, and he smiled. He reached down and ribbed at his shaft and it started to grow. I was tempted to go down on him while he was still asleep -- I was so horny by now. But I decided against it. He would feel cheated if I did that. My eyes were almost closed, watching his beautiful face. His eyes opened. "That was the most incredible experience of my entire life, Sweetheart." I don't know if he has ever called anyone that before, but when he called me Sweetheart, it was like an electric shock went from head to foot and then bounced back up and made its home in my genitals. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it for a moment. "Are you sure you want to swim first?" He said. "Whenever you're ready, Babe -- I'm up for anything." "Good! I want you now!" "Heh! I thought you might!" I said. Al tried to remember everything I had done for him, and was not doing bad at all. He found that I had a few different erotic buttons than he has, and that was fun -- cuz he found a couple I didn't even know I had! When he came to the actually blow job, he felt my involuntary thrusting and stopped. "Why did you stop?" He asked. "Why did I stop?" I asked. "Because you stopped. I was afraid maybe you didn't like me pumping back." "Oh Hell no! I loved that. "He grinned and came up and kissed my mouth. I tasted my own precum as well as some of the bitterness of his. Then he went down on me again and started to suck with all his might and bob faster. I let my hips thrust with his rhythm. I wanted to grab his head and make wild love to it, but then again, we'd save that for another session. It felt so good to be his teacher. Maybe he could teach me some more about football! I was by this time making as much or more noise than Al had made, but I also heard him making small noises like appreciative and swallowing and humming sounds. When I came, he took it all in -- as much as he could -- and dribbled some on me. True to what I taught him, he lapped it up. As I had told him, I lay completely relaxed as he kissed me some more and worked his way back up to my mouth. I tasted my spunk and it tasted sweet to me. "Oh, sweetheart -- I have never gotten such a thrill as you just gave me!" Al told me. "And I don't know which is better -- to suck or be sucked. I do know this though. Your cum tastes so sweet. Is that normal? Does everyone else's always taste better than your own?" "I haven't had enough experience to answer that, Babe. But I think it has to do with what you eat." "So -- your's doesn't taste nasty to you -- like mine does?" "Your's doesn't taste nasty, Al. It's just a little bitter. And in time -- when we start eating the same things all the time -- I bet ours will pretty much taste alike." "Well, I'm gonna start eating all the things you like!" he laughed. "I want mine to taste sweet like yours!" "Can I suck your fingers -- like you did mine?" I asked. "I loved that when you did it." "Yeah -- can I suck your softee?" he asked. "I want to feel that in my mouth." He left his hand up to my mouth and went down on my soft, spent dick. We both sucked lovingly. I fell asleep and I don't know if he did. But sucking on his fingers, while he sucked on my soft dick was some of the best afterglow I ever had! I fell asleep, just as he had, and felt myself firming back up. "You about ready for that swim?" He said, waking me out of a particularly vivid dream - of another time I wanted with him. I woke and smiled sleepily. I couldn't believe the difference from last night to today. It seemed impossible that I could be so heart broken one night and so completely loved -- and in love -- the next afternoon. "Boy, you must have not slept well last night!" Said Al. "Do you realize it's time for lunch already. You've slept away the morning." He grinned. "Nuh-uh!" I said, still groggy. "I'm sorry! It must have been that sleeping potion you gave me!" "It's okay. Every time I saw you sleeping peacefully, I wanted to cry." "Why!!!" Tears came to his eyes. "Ben -- I was happy when we decided to be best friends. I wasn't sure why -- but I thought it had something to do with just HAVING a best friend. I never had one before. But now I realize it was not all that. It was because I was already falling in love with you. Sweetheart, I have never been so happy in my life. I want it to last forever!" "I loved watching you sleep too." I said, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID?" He said, looking concerned. "Yes." I said. And all you can say is, "I loved watching you sleep too"? Ben -- I just pledged my undying love to you -- forever. Does that mean anything to you?" He looked desperate -- and a little perturbed. This time it was my turn to choke up -- and tears came easily. "What? Did I say -- or do something wrong?" He said, immediately repentant. "No, Babe. Not at all. I've never heard sweeter words in my life. But - " He turned around and talked to the ceiling. "He said `but'! What does he mean?" "I -- ahem -- Al, - I guess I'm just -- erm -- having a little trouble -- trusting - " "Trusting? You don't trust me? What do I have to do? I'll do anything!" "I'm having trouble trusting - " I was so choked up I could not speak. He sat next to me on the bed. "Ben -- Whatever it is -- we can -- I Can -- and WILL fix it!" "AHEM!" I said loudly. "Please let me -- fin -- ish, Al!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face. I relaxed as much as possible. "I -- am -- having -- trouble -- trusting - - omigosh! -- my own feelings, Al!" "What?" He said, again quiet and now realizing he was jumping all over me -- to his own conclusions. Sweetheart -- I'm sorry. What -- what -- what do you mean?" "Al - I've felt similar to this twice -- no, THREE times -- before. It's very confusing. Once was two days ago! I was so convinced that Tony was the one. It's scary, because 3 times I have been wrong. You HAVE to give me some time. And -- my experience tells me that you have to give yourself some time too." Al lay down beside me. "Please don't take this wrong, Sweetheart. But - I think you're wrong." "But I am sure - " "Now you have to let ME finish." "Okay." I said demurely. My sweet Ben, - Sweetheart -- I've known you only a short part of your life. I think you have two very good things going for you. But they both have caused you problems and heartache." "Uh -- huh?" I said. "First, EVERYONE wants to know you, because of the way you are. Every person you meet wants you to be their friend -- or their lover. Now -- this is a very nice quality to have. But on top of this -- you love so easily -- for whatever reason -- you fall for guys easily. I really do believe that you were in love with those guys. You said Three. That would be Ranj, Tony and Etienne -- right?" "Omigosh!" I said. "What?" "I think you're right. Only it's more like five! Everett is also one I loved and even Jared -- I loved him!" "Who's Jared?" "Another boy that Mom and Dad took in for awhile." "You see? You actually come by it naturally. Your mom and dad also love easily -- right?" "I -- guess." "And you -- you have fallen in love -- at least to some degree -- with 5 guys -- and gotten your heart broken as many times -- right?" "Yeah." I was amazed to consider it, but he was right! "Let me ask you -- which one killed your heart?' My silence answered for me. "Which one made you go into a shell -- or a cave -- and retreat so you could not be hurt -- ever again?" "Um -- none of them." I said. "And -- which one still hurts so bad that you are not willing to give me that same chance?" He said. "Huh?" "You love every one of them -- still -- right?" I didn't want to admit it -- but he was right -- and I nodded. "All I'm asking is -- if I now make you happy -- and you have found that you didn't die -- even though you felt like you maybe wanted to," he paused and I was completely in step with him now, "won't you let go and give me a chance to prove to you that I won't be another who will desert you? Because -- I am hoping that you know me well enough to know that I won't!" I nodded. He was right! Everything he said made sense. I closed my eyes. "Yes." I said. "Take it away." "Take it away?" "My heart. Take it away. It's yours -- forever -- until you hurt it." "I never will, sweetheart -- I never will. I'm the happiest man in the world right now. I KNOW I will always love you." Suddenly I sat bolt up. "What time is it?" "1:30 PM. Why?" He looked bewildered, after all we have said. "This is my first day to work! I'm gonna be late. I quit working with Etienne." "Look, I don't want my sweetheart working at a fast food place making minimum wage. Just call and quit." "No -- I can't. The rest of the people would be shorthanded. And more importantly, I am not quite ready to tell Mom and Dad about -- us. If I quit it will look strange. I'm supposed to still be saving for university. "Why don't you want to tell them?" "It'll seem strange. Last night I was nearly out of my mind in heartache and today I'm in love again. It's true, but it just doesn't -- um -- make sense or -- look right. I want to break it to them slower." "My dad can explain it to them." "You've told your dad?" "Not yet." He grinned. "Look, if you have to go to work today -- okay. But I want you there when I tell my dad and mom." "I can't imagine how that would help!" I said. "Unless you think they'd make less of a scene with me there." "That's not their style. I'd just like you there for moral support, I guess. And -- they really like you." "Actually, I think I have an idea for explaining to my parents how I have bounced back so quickly." "What's that?" "Well - - it involves you as well." "Oh -- you want me there with you too?" "No -- but you'll definitely be involved." I grinned. "Mom, Dad, I have a question for you." "What's that, Ben?" "How did you know that you were meant for each other? I mean -- I've had a few boyfriends, and every time, I think he's the one. But -- well, obviously that hasn't worked out." "You're very young, Benny." Mom said. Dad just looked on with a half-smile. "How old were you when you got married?" I knew the answer, but I asked it for their sake. "Why -- er -- I was 19 and your father was 21." Mom said. Then, "Oh, I see your point." Dad said, "Ben, I'm not even sure we DID know." Mom gave him an astonished look. "But it has to do with reality and - - commitment. We committed ourselves to make it work, and there were no great obstacles in our way." "M-hm." I mused. "Ben, being gay will always carry more obstacles. I'm sorry, but it just does. You have to decide that you are going to make it work. And when you find a guy that also decides that -- and your relationship is based in reality -- it has more chance of working." "Your father is right. It seems to me that each time you were infatuated with a -- a friend -- you got deeper attached." "You know what I found out, though?" I said. "What?" They both said. "I lived through each breakup. Tony was the hardest, I think. And I think one reason was I let myself go more with him. I knew him less than two weeks -- but I knew him so well -- or at least thought I did -- and we both were willing to let ourselves love each other. It hurt like hell -- sorry Mom, but I don't know a better term -- but it was real while it lasted." "Wow." Dad said. "So -- how are you feeling about Tony now?" "Dad, I never blamed him. I even kind of understood. He had to do what he had to do -- if that makes sense. I still love him, actually. But -- I found that there is someone closer to home that makes me happier than anyone ever has. I just never thought of him as a possible partner." "Oh! Well, I'm happy that you are so able to deal with the disappointment of losing this Tony. Your description of him seemed very nice." Mom said. "But who - " "Mom -- I love you so much!" "Wha - ?" Dad started. "You too dad. But yesterday, Mom called Al and told him what happened. You knew he'd come to -- um -- be with me -- and , uh -- support me, didn't you?" "Well , yes, I suppose - " "You already knew that he loves me that much." "Well, I suppose a mother has some intuition." She smiled. "And you also knew that I love him enough that it would help me to have him here." "What are you -- trying to tell us -- Ben?" I think Dad got it first. "Dad -- Al and I are in love." Both of their mouths fell open. "I think we always have been. The only thing that prevented us seeing what we really meant to each other before was -- neither of us knew that Al is gay." "Oh my God!" Said my dad. "How will Alan take this news?" "Al seems to think it will go well. He's close to HIS dad." I didn't mean for that to come out quite as it did. "Son, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to slight you in any way, I - " "Dad, it's okay. We've already been through that. All I'm saying is that Al feels confident that Alan will take it well." "I'll talk to him." Dad said, as if I had not said anything. "Ben, you don't know Alan like I do. He'll go off the deep end." Surprisingly -- to Dad, at least -- the Randalls invited us all over for a barbecue that very night. After the meal, Alan invited us all into the den. "It seems like we have something to talk about." Said Alan -- almost gravely. "Alan -- you know, being gay isn't the worst thing in the world." Me dad quickly said. "Our sons" Alan continued, "have decided they like each other -- a lot more than either had planned -- a lot more than any of us knew." "Now Alan, that's not really as bad as it may seem - on the surface." Dad said. Alan turned directly to Dad. "Bubba, I love your boy like a son - almost like my own son." Alan said. "I was concerned when you told me he was gay. But being somewhat reasonable, I thought that it was just one of those things. And I also thought that with the right friends and maybe counseling -- we could help the boy. That was before I knew - well, it just never occurred to me that my own son was also gay." He paused -- seemingly to see if Dad had anything more to add. "The reason I wanted to talk to you all is I really wanted to tell you that if these two boys want to be a couple -- then I think it's in their -- and our -- best interest to give it the best chance of succeeding." Mom, Dad and Al's mom all nodded. "Alan, I'm surprised. I was prepared to defend the boys. You have changed -- a lot." "Bubba, Yes I have. It's been a lot of years since we rolled around on the ground and threw each other against walls. Just because you never forgave me for never letting you pin me in wrestling -- doesn't mean I think that you held a grudge. Well, I softened a bit with age and experience -- too." "Well, I -- WE -- are so relieved." Said my mom. "The bottom line for me is -- I want my son to be happy." Said Alan. "I've thought about this a lot in the last 24 hours -- that's how long I have had to digest this. Can you imagine how hard it would be to pretend to be something you're not? That's how my son has had to deal with things up to this point. And Al, I'm sorry to admit that I am probably part of the reason for this. I know it's an obvious sentiment, but -- all we want is for your happiness." "I knew that dad." Said Al. "I even told Ben that you'd understand." I nodded my head in agreement. "So -- what do mom's do when there is something to celebrate?" Said Al's mom, "We bring out the cake!" She went in to the kitchen and indeed brought out an angel food cake with fresh strawberries and whipped cream. And I and Al, and Al's parents and my parents, celebrated our getting together -- and the further bonding of the two families. While eating our cake, Alan said, "My boy has suggested that maybe your family would be relieved to gain a bedroom and he has asked me if it would be okay for Ben to move into his room." I was surprised at that revelation. Alan continued, "I have discussed this with Darla and we feel that our son's relationship is no different than if our son was in love with a girl." Al and I looked at each other and beamed. "We feel that until they are ready to make the commitment to be married -- or the best equivalence of it -- than they should not officially share a bedroom." I wasn't shocked by that, but Al's mouth dropped open and as quickly - shut. He nodded and said, "That's fair!" I had the distinct feeling he was going to drop to one knee and propose to me right then and there. He didn't! Later, as we discussed what went on, Al said, "The more I think about my parents' decision, the more I like it. They are treating us exactly as if we were no different that anyone else. That's how I would like to be treated." I smiled approvingly. "I thought it was funny that both our dad's thought they needed to defend us." "Ben, are you ready to make that commitment to me?" He said it. And to further clarify, "Ben, will you marry me?" "When?" I asked astonished beyond measure. I knew it was coming, but was still astonished. "As soon as possible." "Whew!" I said. "It's just so much to digest in two days!" "Are you afraid?" "Afraid?" "Yes! I am! But -- it's also exciting. Oh, I know you have been through it before, but - " "No -- I haven't. This time it's different. It may seem the same to you, but it's different -- to me. I loved those other guys -- I even thought I was `in love'. But -- I think I know more what `in love' feels like -- and this is it!" "Um -- I think you just made my argument for me." "I guess I did, didn't I?" "Ben, I have a cousin who is gay. He's older and I loved being with him when I was a kid. He is old enough that we were never close, but he was always so nice to me. He is an amazing man. But -- when I heard he was gay, I guess I felt threatened. I instantly hated him. I now understand why. It scared the hell outa me -- because of my own insecurities. "My aunt and uncle invited me to come live with them if I ever chose to go to UCSB. They are in Santa Barbara and if we get together -- married -- then maybe we can both go to UCSB together, and live with my Uncle Jake and Auntie Lindy." "Whew!" I repeated. "Let me think about it awhile -- okay?' I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay, I have thought about it. It's scary, but -- let's do it!" Al looked stunned for a half second then picked me up and twirled me around the room! "Oh, Ben, I can hardly wait to see my cousin Jake again. We went to some celebration they had -- their wedding was private -- and his partner made me drool! I think his name is Colin. And there were several other gay couples -- oh! Jakes sister is gay too. "So Aunt Lindy and Uncle Jake will be well accustomed to a couple of poofs living under their roof." "UCSB? I never considered it before. For me it was out of the question." "Not any more. Once we get out of college, you get to pull your own weight. Until then, we pull together." "Yeah -- you provide the money -- and I provide the -- what?" I said, a bit chagrinned. "You provide my moral support. I'm planning to play football. I know they'll let me -- I don't even need a scholarship! And I'll need your help -- with classes and studying. What are you studying?" "I haven't decided. I've been getting all my basics out of the way." "I want to be an attorney. Why don't you think about that also? That way we can have all the same classes." "I never thought about it that much before. Lawyers are such scum!" I said. "Not all of them. We can be some of the good ones." Al and I announced to our families that we wanted to get married. "You can do that up in Canada -- if you want?" "We can do it wherever we want. As long as we have rights of survivorship -- which I know we can have -- then that's all that matters to me." Said Al. "I talked to my sister -- your Aunt Lindy -- and she said that your cousin, Jake was married first -- in their hearts -- in Las Vegas -- at the Mormon temple." Said Al's mom. "They were married in the Mormon temple?" My mom said in surprise. "No -- they were married AT the temple -- because they were in Vegas and it was the loveliest place they could find. They just exchanged vows. They didn't even kiss -- because they felt it would offend the Mormons there. Lindy said she doubted anyone knew what was going one except those at the ceremony." "Who performed the ceremony?" Mom asked. "They just exchanged vows -- and Lindy said it was beautiful." Within one week, both Al and I were in classes at UCSB. We started late. Apparently Al's Uncle Jake had pull there. We didn't live under their roof, and with our promise to maintain separate bedrooms, Uncle Jake and Aunt Lindy -- that's what they asked me to call them -- allowed us to live in their guest house. We lived there -- in separate bedrooms (we won't talk about what we did when we were alone in the living room!) until the next spring, when we went to Hawaii. We let Darla (Al's mom!) plan the wedding. He wanted it that way. (As I understood it -- that made HIM the bride -- which I didn't let him forget!) She liked the idea of vows in front of a temple, so we all flew to Hawaii -- Oahu this time -- and we said our own written vows on the beach, overlooked by the Mormon Temple in Laei, Oahu, Hawaii. We wrote our vows and decided not to share them with anyone -- even each other -- until we said them. We each memorized them: "Under the sun and the sky which were created by God, I now pledge myself to the most wonderful man in the world!" Said Al. "I promise to always stay with Ben -- until one of us dies -- and hope that it will be a long, long time before that happens. Ben, in the presence of these people who mean the most to us, I love you!" "Al, I very soberly take you to be my life companion -- to take care of one another, and love and give my all to you, forever -- and if God grants it that we will be together forever. I love you more than life itself, and give myself and all that I am -- to you." Both our mom's had tears in their eyes. Both our dad's beamed their trust and pride in us. We asked Uncle Jake to pronounce a blessing and a benediction on us and the ceremony. Then he and my dad had a surprise reception at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. Tony had been in contact with us, and told us he wanted to come -- if he could make it. He made it and made a toast to our happiness. Al's cousin Jake and his partner, Colin, were also there. He never knew how angry Al was at him, and we saw no reason to make that known. They had four beautiful, blond children with them. We later found out that they were adopted by Jake and Colin.* I'm betting that our love lasts through the eternities. The End Notes: Comments as always, are welcome, Please write to Steve at stevethomas@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve *Jake and Colin's story can be found in the college section of nifty gay stories, dated, Aug. 15, 2002. (If you want to comment, use this email.)