Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 17:06:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mickey S <njmcmick@yahoo.com>
Subject: Billy and Danny II, Chapter 32

This is a story of love between two young men. If you are under age, or
live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males is
illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. The story
began in 1969. While the characters and their story are completely
fictional, it is set at places that are real and is told against a backdrop
of some real events. This was a time when all sex was safe. It isn't now,
so please respect yourself and others enough to always play safe.

I would like to thank all of those who have written to me with comments,
suggestions and encouragement, especially my fellow writers in the Nifty
Six. The author retains all rights.  No reproductions are allowed without
the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.

Charles

Lucy reserved her boss's studio for Sunday afternoon. I was really nervous
but I didn't want to be the only guy in the family who hadn't posed for
her. Lucy had suggested that I might want Billy and Danny to sit in on the
session to make me more comfortable but I didn't like that idea at all.

"Hell, no, Lucy. It's bad enough with just you. I don't want the guys
seeing me naked."

"Why not? You're all guys."

"Yeah, but they've got beautiful bodies. They're both so hot. I'm just a
skinny kid with no build at all."

"Everybody is built differently, Charles. These photos aren't for
porn. They're art. Besides, you're still growing."

"Big deal, one inch all year. I haven't even gained a pound to go with it
either so that just makes me skinnier."

I was totally uncomfortable when we got to the studio so Lucy started by
taking some pictures with me in my underwear. She said the white cotton
briefs on my dark brown skin looked fantastic. I was nervous but it wasn't
much different from wearing shorts around the house in the summer. I just
concentrated on posing the way Lucy told me to.  After a while I was
loosening up and she got me to take off the underwear. I kept my back to
her at first, too shy to turn around.  It was obvious to me from the
pictures I'd seen that Billy, Danny and Mark were all bigger than me. My
dick isn't tiny but I was still feeling a little insecure. Finally, Lucy
got me to turn around and we went through the poses again. At first Lucy
was all business, very serious, very professional. I just focused on
following her orders. Once I was into it she started joking and teasing,
acting more like the Lucy I knew at home. By the end of the hour I was so
relaxed I was laughing and joking with her. I almost didn't even remember I
was naked. Almost. Lucy thought she had some pretty good shots and we were
both looking forward to seeing how they turned out.

After the talk with Keith things had started to get better at school. He
switched his lunch period and we ate together every day. His girlfriend,
Lauren, and a couple of her friends sat with us as well, so I was part of a
little group. The girls didn't mind that I was gay and I started having a
little fun again. Most of the other kids went back to ignoring me. They
didn't know me well enough to really care one way or the other that I was
gay as long as I didn't bother them. After the two weeks of hell I had gone
through being ignored was just fine with me. Now and then someone, usually
one of Doug's friends, said something nasty to me but I just tried to pay
no attention. It was sort of like the way Danny had originally said. If you
hold your head up and let them know they're not getting to you they give up
after a while. I did hear that Doug was still saying stuff about me and
that bothered me, though I tried not to let on.

One day I ran into him after school when no one else was around.

"Hey, Doug, hold up, I want to talk to you."

He quickly glanced around to see if anyone was watching.

"I have nothing to say to you, faggot. I told you we're through."

"Yeah, you made that pretty clear. Don't worry, I have no interest in being
your friend or anything else any more. You may not want to talk but I have
a few things to say to you."

"Well, make it quick. I don't want my friends to see us together."

"I just want to say that you and I both know what went down between us and
you know that you're the one who started it both times. You sucked my dick
twice and you wanted me to come in your mouth. You might be gay, you might
be bi, but no way you're straight."

"Bullshit! I told you I was just experimenting."

"Yeah, that's what you say. One thing that's clear is that whatever you are
you can't deal with it. I have no problem accepting myself. I hadn't
intended to come out at school but now that you've made that choice for me
I can handle it. I can't change anything you've already told kids about me
but I wanted to warn you to stop lying about what we did. I don't believe
anyone has the right to force someone out of the closet the way you did to
me, but if you don't stop telling lies I'm gonna have to start telling the
truth. I don't think you want that."

"No one would believe you, anyway. They know me and they don't know
you. You're still the new kid, the faggot."

"Maybe. But if you want to know for sure, just keep talking. We'll see who
they believe."

We just stood there and stared at each other for a minute. The look in his
eyes scared me but I knew I couldn't back down. It had taken all of the
courage I had to confront him in the first place. I had to hang on and
follow it through. Finally he turned away.

"Never mind. You're not worth the effort."

He walked off and I realized that even though I was trembling, he was the
one who had caved in. Maybe I had some guts after all. Posing nude for Lucy
and facing Doug in the same week. Who would've thought I had it in me?


December 1974

Danny

As usual all of our free time the first two weeks of December were taken up
with Christmas shopping and getting ready for our open house. One evening
Billy and I were walking home from shopping carrying a couple of bags each.

"Do you think we've got everything now, Billy?"

"Everything on our lists, maybe, but you know us better than that,
Danny. We'll be shopping right up until Christmas Eve."

"Yeah, we do tend to go a little wild at this time of year."

It was a cool, crisp evening, cold enough for a coat but not cold enough to
have to wear gloves. I shifted a bag to my left hand and took hold of
Billy's hand.

"Better watch it, babe. You don't want anyone to see us."

"Yeah, I know, but it's dark and we're away from the center of town. No
one's around. As much as I love teaching here in town it does have its
drawbacks. I miss holding hands with you."

"We got spoiled, Dan. At Rutgers people were used to us. It didn't matter
anyhow. And working in the Village, no one even noticed. But now we're in
the real world. We can't be as open."

"It's not like we've been that blatant around town the last few years
anyway, Billy, but it's one thing for us to refrain from being open by
choice and another for us to feel like we're forced into it."

"But that's just the way it is, Danny, just like neither of us can talk too
openly at school. It's not that big a deal."

"I know, Billy, I just feel like whining a bit. I do feel bad for Charles,
though. He's had such a rough time this fall and now that he's got a few
friends who are standing by him he can't invite them to the open
house. That's my fault. If I were teaching somewhere else it wouldn't
matter."

"And you wouldn't be there in school every day to give him support when he
needs it either, Danny. It's a trade-off and Charles understands. He
doesn't expect to have his friends at the party. It's not like he never has
them over to the house. Keith and Lauren come by a couple of times a week."

"Maybe after the holidays Charles can have a little party of his own at the
house."

"That's an idea. We'll see if he's interested."

The open house turned out to be another great success. Everyone we knew
showed up. Even with school and the kids we do manage to have a bit of a
social life during the year. We get out to the Alliance meetings most
weeks, have friends over for dinner or just to hang out occasionally. Tim
and Evan have us over to their place now and then. A couple of times a year
we actually go to one of the poker games. But our open house is a chance to
see everyone at once. Now that we've been doing it a few years we have it
pretty well organized so it doesn't take much work while it's happening and
we can enjoy the party. We kept the boys up in the nursery and they slept
through the first few hours of the party but toward late afternoon we
brought them down to show them off to everyone. For many guests it was
their first chance to meet Jason.

I carried Jase while Billy lugged Ty around. Aunt Connie, June and Mike
were talking in the sunroom. Bernard and Clay were discussing politics in
the dining room near the bar setup. June said the two had become good
friends and played golf regularly. We ran into Frankie talking to Joe in
the kitchen.

"So how come you're here alone, Joe? I thought maybe you'd bring that new
boyfriend Mark told us about. Jerry, isn't it?"

"Yeah, Billy, but it doesn't look like it's going anywhere with him. He's a
nice guy but it's hard to build a relationship with someone who works such
different hours. Even though Carr's isn't open until four like most bars
he's still out until the middle of the night five times a week and I work
days. We don't get to see each other much."

"If the magic was there I'm sure you'd find a way around the time problem,
Joe."

"You're right, Danny. It's fun being with him but there really isn't any
spark there. Plus, he's not really ready to settle down so I think we've
probably gone as far as we're going to."

"I think Mark is in the living room. Why don't you go find him? I'm sure he
can console you."

"I'm sure he could, Frankie. Mark's always good for me."

Billy and I wandered through the dining room chatting with guests along the
way. We made our way to the sunroom where Lucy had joined the 'older'
teachers.

"How are things going with your son, Mike? Danny said you wrote to
him. Have you heard anything back?"

"Actually, I just got a note from him on Friday, Bill. He said he had
something very important he wanted to talk to me about. He's already made
plans he can't get out of for Christmas itself but he's flying out here a
couple of days after the holiday. It looks good. I'm keeping my fingers
crossed."

"So are we, Mike."

Billy and I left the boys with Lucy and Aunt Connie and went out on the
porch to see our friends in the 'smoking lounge.' I'd never liked cigarette
smoke and after Tyler was born we'd banished all smoking, legal and
illegal, from the house. It was more inconvenient for our guests in the
winter but no one complained.

Back in the front hall Billy stopped me under the mistletoe and gave me a
long passionate kiss.

"Mmmm. Think we can get away with spending the rest of the party right here
and make all of our guests come to us, Billy?"

"It's a thought, baby, but that would probably be rude. We can always come
back here after everyone's gone, though."

"I have a better idea. How about we hang a little mistletoe over our bed
later on?"

"That's a thought, but somehow I don't think it will be necessary, Danny."

Mark

I hadn't been looking forward to Billy and Danny's open house this
year. After all, that was the weekend Peter and I broke up last year. I had
made some major improvements in my life since then but there was still an
emptiness in me. Maybe it wasn't Peter himself that I missed. I had come to
realize that I wasn't very good on my own. Yeah, I surprised myself at how
well I had done this year but it was more like I was just surviving rather
than thriving. I could get by alone but I didn't want to. I'd lost Brad,
then I'd lost Peter. I'm at my best when I have someone to love, someone
who loves me. It's not about sex. After all, that had never been a part of
my relationship with Brad. It was about love. Love nurtures me and gives me
strength. When I thought of it that way I realized that I hadn't really
been getting by on my own the past year. I'd had Billy, Danny and
Lucy. Their love had been so crucial to my being able to turn around my
life.

I did everything I could to help the guys set up for the party. I figured
the busier I was the less I'd think about last year. Then Joe arrived and I
forgot about everything else. He looked so sweet and beautiful. I felt bad
for him when he told me about Jerry. Really I did. Joe is a wonderful guy
and I so much want him to be happy. I couldn't understand why he hadn't
been able to find someone who would love him the way he deserved to be
loved. I'll admit that a little part of me was relieved though. I was still
holding out hope that maybe, just maybe, he and I could get back
together. We spent the whole afternoon and evening talking. It was like old
times. When the party started winding down I was tempted to ask him to
spend the night but I realized that probably wasn't a good idea. He was
just breaking up with Jerry and though it hadn't been a major relationship
I still didn't want to make a move on him that quickly. I didn't want to
wait too long because our entire relationship had been marked by bad timing
but I figured a few weeks wouldn't hurt.

Billy

The Christmas open house was getting to be a wonderful annual event. The
first year it was just a little get-together. Last year it was a great
party. This time around it was tradition. Danny and I were feeling pretty
good about our lives and optimistic about Mike and his son. We felt a
little like we'd done our good deed for the holiday season.

It was another one of those times when everything seemed to be going right
for everyone in our life. That's happened once or twice before and each
time something terrible was about to happen. Just when you think things
can't get any better, they don't. I tried not to think about that and be
positive. It was Christmas, after all.

Late one afternoon a couple of days before Christmas, Lucy, Danny and I
were wrapping up the last few presents to put under the tree. Charles was
out enjoying the first day of vacation and the boys were napping upstairs.

"You guys still go crazy with your Christmas shopping. You could have had a
nice down payment on a new car with the money you spent on the boys alone."

"Billy and I didn't spend that much, Lucy. We get lots of little
things. Besides, it's Christmas."

"That's your excuse every year, Danny."

Just then the phone rang and Danny went to answer it. He was back in a few
seconds.

"It's Mr. Heath for you, Lucy. He must want to wish you a Merry Christmas."

Lucy went into the kitchen while Danny and I put the gifts under the tree
in the living room. About five minutes later she walked in looking dazed
with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Oh God, Lucy. What is it? News about Brad?"

Lucy just nodded and swallowed hard a few times.

"Yes, Billy. They've found him. He's alive!"

"YES!!!" Danny and I both shouted at once, jumped up and grabbed Lucy
tight. We all just hugged and cried for a few minutes.

"So tell us everything, Lucy. Where is he? What happened? How is he? Where
has he been?"

"Slow down, Danny. One question at a time. Mr. Heath couldn't give me all
the details but apparently Brad and the other guy who disappeared were
being held prisoner just over the border in Laos. They were turned loose
last week near a small rural village and it took a little while to get them
turned over to U.S. authorities. They're both being flown to an army
hospital in Hawaii as we speak."

"Hospital? Is he hurt, Luce?"

"I don't think so. They seem to think he's in pretty good health
considering what he's been through. He is undernourished and they want to
check him out to make sure there's nothing seriously wrong with him."

"When is he coming home, Lucy? When can we see him?"

"I don't know, Danny, but his parents are flying to Hawaii tomorrow. They
want me to go with them. I told them I would. Is that okay with you guys?"

"Okay? What do you mean? Of course it's okay. It's great!"

"It's just that I'll be away from you and the boys for Christmas, Billy. I
want to see Brad more than anything but it's Jason's first Christmas."

"And he'll have lots more you can spend with him, Lucy. He won't know the
difference anyway. Go. You've got to see Brad. The boys will be fine. So
will Billy and I. Don't worry about us."

"Yeah, you're going, girl. You've got to go get your man."

"Okay, Billy. You don't exactly have to talk me into it."

The airport limo that the Heaths had hired was to pick up Lucy at eight the
next morning so we decided to get up early and have Christmas morning a day
early. Aunt Connie and Mark came over at six and we all opened our gifts so
Lucy was able to spend Christmas with her sons and still fly off for her
reunion with Brad.

Lucy

I was still in a daze when I got on the plane with the Heaths. It was the
best, most fantastic news I could ever have hoped for but I don't think it
had quite sunk in. For two and a half years I had been living in a kind of
suspended state. I was living but not quite. A little part of me was just
hoping and waiting. And now the hope was reality and the waiting was nearly
over.

I was surprised to find that we had seats in first class. I suppose I
shouldn't have been, knowing that the Heaths had money and how important
this was. I had the aisle seat across from them. We hadn't talked all that
much in the limo or at the airport. I think they may have been in the same
shocked state as me.

It was amazing how they'd changed since I first met them. They had been so
immature, so self-centered and selfish back then. They'd made it clear they
didn't like me and I sure didn't like them. After we lost Brad, their whole
world changed even more than mine. I think they finally appreciated what he
was in their lives. As Joni Mitchell said in Big Yellow Taxi, 'You don't
know what you've got til it's gone.' That sure applied to them.

That horrible, agonizing period I'd gone through before Aunt Connie had
taken me to Puerto Rico had lasted nearly a year for Mrs. Heath. She'd been
hospitalized for a while, and when she went home it was under heavy
sedation. I heard she had hardly left the house for several
months. Mr. Heath called me now and then to see how I was and kept me
posted on how they were doing. Mark had taken me out to visit them
occasionally and I could see first-hand how they'd changed. We hadn't
exactly become friends but our shared grief was a common bond that had
brought us closer together.

Halfway through the six hour fight to San Francisco Mrs. Heath came over
and sat in the empty seat next to me.

"We only have an hour and a half layover in San Francisco for our
connecting fight to Honolulu so we should get in early enough to see Brad
tonight, Lucy. We're going right from the airport to the army
hospital. With the time change it will seem very late to us so you should
probably try to get some sleep during the next flight."

"I'm so excited I don't think I could sleep, Mrs. Heath. My nervous energy
will keep me going."

"I'm going to take a pill to help me rest. Let me know if you want one. And
please call me Marcie. We're going to be spending a lot of time together
now and Mrs. Heath is so stiff and formal. I want us to be closer."

"Okay, I'll try. It's hard to change habits sometimes."

"Tell me about it. It's not impossible, though. Bill and I have been
through a lot of changes the last couple of years. It's like we finally
grew up. Better late than never, I suppose."

"Brad will be surprised, pleasantly surprised."

"Yes, poor boy, it must have been tough for him growing up with us. I'm
amazed he turned out so sane and well-adjusted."

"He's a pretty amazing guy. I guess you never know with kids."

"Speaking of kids, have you given any thought as to how you're going to
tell Brad about your babies? With what I've gone through the past couple of
years I can understand what you must have been living with and how you were
trying to cope but it will be a shock to Brad."

"I've fantasized so many times about Brad coming home and how it would be
but now that it's actually happening I think I'll just have to play it by
ear. We'll have to see what his state of mind is first. You hear such
terrible things about what prisoners have been through. I don't want to
upset him if he can't handle it."

"Brad's pretty tough, Lucy. He survived a childhood with me and Bill. I
know what you mean, though. We won't say anything about the boys to
him. You tell him in your own time."

"Thanks, Marcie. I'm not sure just when that will be but I guess the longer
I put it off the harder it will be."

We sat and talked for a while until they started to serve lunch. She went
back and sat next to Bill and I had the rest of the fight to figure out how
I was going to tell Brad about Tyler and Jason. I hadn't come up with any
brilliant ideas by the time we landed. The layover flew by and before I
knew it we were back on a plane, this time heading for Honolulu.  Marcie
took her pill while we were still on the ground and slept most of the
second flight. Bill dozed off and on as well. I just sat up, excited to be
getting closer to Brad, worried about how he would handle my news.

The flight landed in Honolulu at five thirty local time. Of course to us it
was ten thirty and I'd been up since five so I was feeling a little
tired. By the time we got our bags, stood on line at the car rental counter
and got directions another hour has gone by. Finally we were in the car on
the way to the hospital. It was a little after seven when we arrived. We
paused in the hall outside his room. As anxious as I was to see Brad I had
intended on letting Bill and Marcie go in first. He had belonged to them
longer, after all. They insisted we all go in together so we pushed the
door open and walked in as a group.

Brad was lying with his eyes closed in the bed by the door. His face looked
so thin. I suppose I expected him to be pale but he had a kind of ruddy
weathered look. We were trying to be as quiet as possible but he must have
heard us because he slowly opened his eyes. When he saw us his eyes kept
widening. Marcie burst into tears and threw herself at him. He wrapped two
very thin arms around her and held her as she cried. Bill stood along side
her and put his hand on Brad's arm. I stood just inside the door, unable to
move, unable to take my eyes off my beautiful Brad. I couldn't believe that
what was happening was real, that he was actually right in front of me.
Brad looked over his mother's shoulder and locked eyes with mine. Though
tears were streaming down his cheeks he gave me the most beautiful smile I
had ever seen.

After a few minutes Bill pried Marcie away from Brad and they stepped
aside. I slowly walked toward the bed as if I were in a trance. Brad sat up
and threw his arms around me as soon as I was within his reach. We hugged
each other so tight. He felt so bony but so good.

"Oh God, Lucy, I love you so. I've missed you so much."