Date: Tue, 9 Oct 2001 22:07:52 -0700 (PDT)
From: "James(Mouse) Harrison" <mrstarsinger@yahoo.com>
Subject: BoysLife9

BoysLife -- Episode Nine

JOURNAL ENTRY -- JOSH

JASON IS COMING BACK HOME TOMORROW. I KNEW THAT HE WOULDN'T STAY GONE FOR A
LONG TIME. I'VE ACTUALLY REALLY MISSED HIM. THINGS ARE JUST NOT THE SAME
AROUND HERE WITHOUT HIM.

OKAY, SO THINGS AREN'T THE SAME ANYMORE SINCE THIS WHOLE MESS WITH TREVOR
HAPPENED. I'M SURE WE'LL ALL BE OKAY. NO ONE IS GOING TO DIE WITHOUT
HIM. CERTAINLY NOT JASON.

AND IT'S KIND OF CUTE HOW HE AND PERRY HAVE HIT IT OFF SO WELL. NO ONE
WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF THOSE TWO EVER GETTING TOGETHER, BUT SOMEHOW,
NOW THAT IT'S REALLY HAPPENING, IT SOMEHOW SEEMS RIGHT. I DON'T KNOW. I
HOPE THEY FIND HAPPINESS. I KNOW I HAVE.

MARK IS UNBELIEVABLE. HE AND I ARE SO DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER. HE IS WILD
WHEN I'M MORE RESERVED. HE HAS HIS PIERCINGS AND I CAN'T STAND PAIN. HE
LIKES TO BE BOLD AND ADVENTEROUS, I LIKE THE FAMILIAR.

BUT WE BELONG TOGETHER, I JUST CAN'T SEE MYSELF WITH ANYONE ELSE. I
REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME WE MET FACE TO FACE, I COULD JUST FEEL THIS
ELECTRICITY BETWEEN US, I KNEW THAT WE WERE GOING TO BE TOGETHER. I WILL
ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE SO SOON. BUT I AM TOTALLY HAPPY WITH
THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING AND I COULDN'T THINK OF HAVING IT ANY OTHER WAY.

MAYBE THIS WHOLE ABRUPT CHANGE THING IS DOING US SOME GOOD. PERRY HAD THE
ABUSE FROM WADE. JASON AND TREVOR BROKE UP. TREVOR MOVED OUT. I FOUND MARK,
AND NOW WE'RE TOGETHER. JASON LEFT AND IS NOW COMING BACK, AND HE AND PERRY
ARE LOOKING MORE AND MORE LIKE AN "ITEM" EVERY DAY.

SO MAYBE THIS IS A GOOD THING. I STILL HAVEN'T DECIDED. I STILL HAVE THESE
FEELINGS FOR PERRY MYSELF. IT FEELS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY HE AND I WERE
LOOKING LIKE AN "ITEM". ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW THINGS CAN CHANGE SO QUICKLY? I
GUESS THIS IS THE WAY IT WAS MEANT TO BE AFTER ALL. ONLY TIME WILL TELL...


It was late when Perry finally got back to the house. He and Jason had
spent what seemed like hours together, kissing, holding each other,
unlocking the passion they'd both held in for each other for the past few
days. Everything seemed so right for Perry, he couldn't imagine himself
doing anything else, with anyone else.

When he got back to the house, Mark and Josh were cuddled up on the sofa,
asleep, the television on. He quietly turned it off, and went into the
kitchen. As he looked in the refrigerator for something to eat, he heard a
noise behind him, and turned his head to see Mark come into the room.

"Hey," Perry said quietly, shutting the refrigerator, an apple in his hand.

"Hi Perry," Mark said. "Late night at work?"

"No I was actually over at Sabrina's seeing Jason," Perry said.

"How is he?" Mark asked.

"He's doing fine," Perry said. "He should be coming back home soon."

"That's great to hear," Mark said. "Josh was so worried about him."

Perry smiled. "Yeah I know."

"Perry can I ask you something?" Mark said.

"Sure," Perry said.

"Do you still have feelings for Josh?" Mark asked.

Perry was a bit taken back with the question. "Why do you ask me that?"

"I just wanted to know the truth," Mark said. "I know that he still has
feelings for you. That's not something that is going to go away."

"Josh and me are just friends Mark," Perry said. "I mean the whole thing
between us was really just two dates. You can't really fall in love with
someone in two dates."

"Maybe," Mark said. "But sometimes I think the strongest feelings are those
quick `love at first sight' emotions."

"It's not a big thing Mark," Perry said. "You and Josh are perfect for each
other. I really am happy for you guys."

"Thanks," Mark said.

"What's all the noise?" Josh asked, coming into the room, looking tired.

"Mark and I were just chatting," Perry said.

"Did we wake you?" Mark asked Josh, walking to him and slipping his arm
around Josh's shoulder, laying his head on Josh's chest.

Josh leaned his head down on Mark's. "No, not really," He said.

"You look tired Josh," Perry said. "You should get some sleep."

"Thanks Perry I hadn't noticed," Josh said with a smile.

"I should get home," Mark said.

"No, you're too tired to drive," Josh said, pulling Mark with him as he
went out of the room. "You're staying with me tonight."

"Josh, really I'm fine," Mark started to protest. Josh cut him off.

"You are staying here, and that's final young man"

"Okay Daddy," Mark teased.

Josh laughed. "Good night Perry!" He called from in the hallway.

"Good night," Perry called back.

*****

The next morning as Jason was getting ready to leave Sabrina's and head out
to work, he heard his cell phone ringing from inside the guest room. He ran
in and looked at the Caller ID. He did not recognize the number, but it was
a local one. He picked it up. "Hello?"

"Is this Jason?" A familiar, yet strange voice asked.

"Yeah this is Jason," Jason replied. "Who is this?"

"Hey it's Ben Trent," The caller said. "I was the guy you and your friend
hung out with the other night at the club, and then we went out
afterwards."

"Oh, Ben!" Jason said. "Now I remember you. How's it going?"

"I've been okay," Ben said. "I've really been meaning to call you sooner,
but with working and everything I have just been so busy."

"I know the feeling," Jason said. "It's great to hear from you. I had such
a fun time when we hung out."

"Yeah me too," Ben said. "It's been a long time since I had been out, and
hanging by myself wasn't too exciting. You and your friend are really
cool."

"Thanks," Jason said.

"So what's up with you?" Ben asked.

"Actually I am at my sister's, getting ready to head out to work," Jason
said.

"Oh really?" Ben asked. "Do you want me to call back some other time?"

"No, it's all right," Jason said. "That's why they made cell phones, so you
can talk anywhere. I'm used to driving and talking on the phone."

Ben laughed. "Okay."

"Things have been really crazy for me actually," Jason said. "I'm kind of
single now."

"Kind of single?" Ben asked.

"No, very single," Jason said, grabbing his keys and wallet and heading out
the door. Sabrina had left a little after he woke up, so he made sure to
lock the doors.

"What happened?" Ben asked. "If you don't mind me asking. I thought you had
a boyfriend when we were out at the club. Wasn't he away or something?"

"Yeah out of town on business supposedly," Jason said. "When he came back I
put things together and found out he'd been cheating on me and now he's
moving to Chicago to be with his new lover."

"Oh man I'm sorry," Ben said. "That sounds awful."

"Yeah it wasn't easy to deal with at first," Jason said. "And I guess it's
still hard, but I am doing better. I moved out of my place for a few days,
but I think I am going back home tonight."

"That's a lot to deal with for just a few days man," Ben said.

"Yeah tell me about it," Jason said, pulling out of Sabrina's driveway and
onto the road. "I had a few days off work luckily, so that wasn't too
stressful on me. This next paycheck is going to stink, but oh well."

Ben laughed. "Where do you work?"

Jason told him. "Being a waiter is fun, but like every job it has its ups
and downs."

"I'm sure," Ben said.

"Hey listen," Jason said. "I should be able to take my lunch break around
one o' clock or so, would you like to meet me over at the mall and grab
something to eat?"

"Yeah I think I could do that," Ben said. "That would be nice. It will be
great to see you again."

"Definitely," Jason said. "All right then, I will see you close to one
then."

"Sounds great," Ben said. "Later man."

"Bye," Jason said, hanging up the phone.

*****

"It feels like we haven't worked together in ages," Amy Martin said to Josh
as she joined him up at the counter.

"Yeah I know," Josh said. "Things have been a blur the past few weeks. I
feel like I'm on a never ending roller coaster."

"It's called life buddy," Amy said with a smile.

Josh nodded, "Yeah," He said. "I know all about it."

Amy didn't say anything for a moment. "Have you talked to Jason?" She asked
finally.

Josh shook his head. "I haven't talked to him personally, but Perry went
and saw him last night at Sabrina's." He let out a small laugh. "They spent
the whole evening together, alone from what I understand."

"Good for them!" Amy said. "I'm glad the two of them are finally realizing
how much tension's been between them, you know?'

"Yeah," Josh said. He looked away.

"Josh are you really okay with all of this?" Amy asked. "I mean it is kind
of difficult to understand. Emotions are being passed back and forth in
this situation, it's so..."

"I know what's going on here!" Josh said, a bit abruptly. He caught
himself, and apologized. "Sorry, Amy, it's just that I realize now that I
was being way too fast in my feelings for Perry, and I let things get out
of control."

Amy didn't say anything.

"Let me go help those customers," Josh said, moving slowly away from her.

As he was helping the people, Amy glanced up at the door and saw Sabrina
Harmon, Jason's sister, walk in. She went up to greet her.

"Boy isn't this whole thing a mess?" Amy asked Sabrina as the girls hugged
quickly.

"Tell me about it," Sabrina said. "But I think things are starting to
return to somewhat a more calmer level. Jason should be moving back home
either tonight or tomorrow morning, and he's finally realizing that he
really wants to be with Perry."

"It seems a bit fast," Amy said. "I don't know what to think sometimes."

Sabrina shook her head. "I somehow knew things weren't always perfect for
Jason and Trevor." She sighed. "I really am sorry it had to end like this,
but I guess it's all going to work out in the end."

"Hey Sabrina," Josh said, coming over to them.

"Hi Josh," Sabrina said. "I was on my lunch break from the salon and I
thought I'd drop in and say hello."

"How's Jay?" Josh asked.

"He's making it through," Sabrina said. "It's going to be hard to
completely forget about Trevor and their relationship, but each day is a
new day, and he has to deal with it, get over it, and just move
on. Otherwise, he'll just be depressed and miserable all the time, and we
all know that Jason doesn't want that to happen more than anybody."

"I'm going to leave you two alone for a minute," Amy said. She patted
Sabrina on the arm. "Give me a call sometime, we'll do lunch."

"I will," Sabrina said with a smile. Amy walked away.

"Josh are you three going to be okay in the house?" Sabrina said. "I know
Trevor was paying his share of the bills and with his portion taken away
things can get tight."

Josh nodded. "I know, I've thought about it a lot. We'll just have to find
someone else to move in with us." He paused for a moment. "We worked out
the agreement on the house for four occupants. So I guess we need to have
four."

Sabrina nodded her head in understanding. "Listen Josh, I know there's been
a lot of changes going on and another big one might be too much for you
guys to handle, but I want you guys to consider moving into my place."

"Sabrina, Granny gave you that house..." Josh began to protest.

Sabrina put her hand on Josh's chest, "Please let me finish," She said. "I
don't have a mortgage and I have a well, so there's no water bill. Granny
wanted the house to stay in the family and I was the first one to move
out."

Josh shook his head. "I can't do that Sabrina," He said. "She never was
happy with my being gay, she didn't get to find out that Jay was, and
living in her house would go against everything she believed in."

"Josh she's dead," Sabrina said. "She's not going to come yell at you like
she used to. I can always find an apartment by myself somewhere. That house
is really way too big for just one person anyway." She paused. "Please just
think about it, okay?"

Josh sighed. "All right, I will think about it." He said. "But I am not
making any promises."

"Good," Sabrina said. "You know I want to do everything I can to help you
guys..."

"And this might be taking it too far," Josh said. He gave her a quick kiss
on the cheek. "You're awesome Sabrina, but I gotta get back to work."

She laughed, shaking her head. "Yeah I guess I should go get some food
before I head back to work."

"Yeah I think that would be good," Josh said. "Tell Jason I said hello."

"I will," Sabrina said, turning and walking out of the store.

*****

 Jason pushed open the doors to the mall, and almost saw Ben as soon as he
did. Ben was sitting on a bench, looking anxious, wearing an outfit much
like he did that night at the club. Jason could tell that the two of them
had just about the same style of dress.

"Hey there," Jason said, going up to Ben.

Ben stood and gave Jason a quick hug. "Hey buddy, what's up?"

Jason shrugged. "Oh not much, I'm doing much better."

"Well that's good to hear," Ben said, smiling.

Jason smiled back. "I totally don't mean to rush you man, but I only have
about forty five minutes left and I am really hungry!"

Ben laughed. "All right, let's go get some food then."

The two of them got meals from a fast food place in the food court, and
then found a nice little table, overlooking the fountain on the lower two
levels of the mall.

"I'm really glad we could get together like this Jason," Ben said. "I don't
really have that many friends in this area, and meeting people like you and
Perry is awesome."

Jason nodded. "Yeah it was cool to meet you too."

"So what's up with you and him?" Ben asked. "The two of you looked pretty
smug the other night at the club." He gave Jason a small smile.

"It's kind of hard to explain," Jason said. "We're just now discovering
feelings for each other that we never knew existed."

"That's amazing," Ben said. "I wish I could have something like that happen
to me. I don't have much luck in the whole dating game."

"You'll find someone," Jason said. "A guy as nice and sweet and fun as you
is bound to find someone."

"Thanks," Ben said. He sighed. "My personal life has been kind of on the
back burner right now."

"Why is that?" Jason asked.

"Well, I have to look for a new place to live," Ben said. "I was renting
this really nice place in the city, but the landlord just decided to up the
rent and I really cannot afford that much."

"That's not good," Jason said.

"I know," Ben said, nodding. "It was a total miracle that I was at the club
in the first place. I don't like going places like that by myself, but I
know a few people that go there regularly, so I was hoping to bump into one
of them maybe."

"And then we bumped into you," Jason said.

Ben laughed softly. "Yeah I guess you did."

Jason looked at his watch. "Listen, I really need to get back to work in a
few minutes." He paused. "I don't want to be too presumptuous about this,
but right now us guys are looking for someone to move in and take over
Trevor's share of the rent."

"Jason I couldn't do that to you," Ben said. "I barely even know you guys."

"But I like you Ben," Jason said. "You're a really nice guy. I think you
would be a perfect candidate to live with us. Perry already knows and likes
you and Josh is an easy guy to convince."

"But I..." Ben said.

"Let me at least talk to them about it," Jason said, cutting him
off. "Trevor was my boyfriend and so it's only fair that I replace him with
the person of my choosing."

Ben nodded. "It would be nice to hang out with some guys who accept me and
don't question my lifestyle."

"I totally understand," Jason said. "I'll call you and let you know what
happens."

"Okay," Ben said, and they both stood.

"I still want to keep in touch and all," Jason said, as the two of them
walked out to their cars. "No matter what happens with this moving
situation."

"Yeah that sounds awesome," Ben said.

Jason smiled. "Great! Well then I'll talk to you later then." The two of
them hugged, and said goodbye, and headed for their cars.

*****

"Thanks for letting me stay Sabrina," Jason said, zipping up his bag and
hoisting it over his shoulder with a small grunt.

"I'm glad I could do something to help you," She said. "And promise me
you'll let me know if there's anything else I can do."

Jason smiled, and nodded. "You know I will." He followed her out of the
house and to his car, where he threw the bag into the trunk.

"Be careful driving home," Sabrina said, from where she stood on the porch.

"I will!" Jason called to her, opening the door and getting in. `This is
it' he thought to himself.

The drive back to the house took longer than usual, probably because of
Jason's racing thoughts and pounding heartbeat. He had no reason to be
nervous about going home, but he was. It was not something he could
explain, much less make go away. But he knew that it was time for him to
move on with his life and forget about Trevor and all the pain that had
been forced on him in the past few days.

He finally turned the car into the neighborhood and then into the driveway
of the house. The lights were all on, meaning Josh and Perry would be awake
and waiting for him.

He quietly got out of the car, trying for some reason not to make too much
noise, and then got his bag out of the trunk. His heart was beating so loud
and fast inside his chest that he could feel it vibrating his entire
body. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, and then made his way
up the walk.

He got to the door, stuck his key into the lock, like he had done a
thousand times before, and turned the handle. The door opened, and he went
inside. That was it. No one rushed to knock him over with a hug, no one
came screaming down the stairs. It was just like coming home had always
been. It was his home.

Jason set his bag down and removed his jacket, hanging it on the coat
rack. The house was relatively quiet, and there was no one in the living
room watching television. Jason slowly made his way down the hall and into
the kitchen. As he neared the doorway, he could see Perry sitting at the
table, pouring over a magazine, a bowl of ice cream next to him.

Perry looked up as Jason came into the room. "Hey," He said with a smile.

"Hey," Jason said, leaning up against the doorway. There was a moment of
silence, and then Perry came over and gave Jason a small hug. Jason
returned the embrace, holding onto Perry for a moment and then letting him
go. "Where's Josh?"

"Upstairs on the computer," Perry said. "I think he's chatting with Mark or
something."

"Oh, okay," Jason said.

"So you're back home now?" Perry asked softly.

Jason nodded slowly.

Perry smiled. "I'm glad."

Jason didn't say anything. He was trying to shake away some of the
awkwardness he felt. He just wanted life to be normal again. He was not
going to make this a big deal, and he was going to try his hardest to
adjust to things being new in his life.

"Do you want some ice cream?" Perry asked. "I was just in one of those
moods tonight."

"Sure," Jason said. "That sounds great. Do we still have that big bag of M
& M's you had in there the other day?"

"You know, I think we do," Perry said, going to the refrigerator and
looking inside. A moment later, he pulled out a half-full bag of
candy. "Here it is!" he said proudly.

Jason smiled, and got a bowl out of the cabinet. "How is work going for you
Perry?" He asked.

"It's going all right," Perry said. "At least it's a paycheck and I have
money to spend now."

"Yeah that's always nice," Jason said. He scooped out some ice cream and
Perry threw some of the candies into the bowl. They both laughed, and it
felt good to Jason. The two of them sat next to each other at the table and
ate their ice cream.

As they ate and talked, Josh came into the room.

"I thought I heard you down here Jay," He said, standing behind his cousin,
with his hands on Jason's shoulders, massaging gently. "It's good to have
you back."

"It's good to be back," Jason said quietly. There was a moment of silence
before Jason spoke up again. "I want to talk to you guys about finding
another roommate."

"Are you sure?" Perry asked. "We can wait on this if you want to Jay."

Jason shook his head. "No, we'll kill ourselves if we try and make up
Trevor's part of the bills."

Josh took a seat next to Jason, across from Perry. "What did you have in
mind Jason?"

"Perry and I know this guy..." Jason said.

"We do?" Perry asked, a confused look on his face.

"Yes, Ben Trent," Jason said. "We met him at the club remember?"

"Okay, Ben!" Perry said, remembering. "When did you talk to him?"

"I saw him today," Jason said. "We met for lunch at the mall."

"And you want him to move in with us?" Josh asked.

"I think it's only fair, seeing as it was me who brought Trevor into this,"
Jason said. "Of course, we're gonna have to do some rearranging to fit him
in..."

Josh cut him off. "I don't even know this guy Jason," He said. "Isn't that
a little unfair to me?"

"Did you have someone else in mind Josh?" Perry asked.

"Well I was talking to Mark..." Josh started.

"Josh, no," Jason said firmly. "Believe me, you don't want to do that."

"How do you know what I want?" Josh asked, his voice rising.

"I know how it's like to live together with a boyfriend," Jason said. "Me
and Trevor were serious, but not that serious. I don't want to see you and
Mark get ruined because of seeing each other too much."

"So you want me to let a complete stranger move in here with us?" Josh
asked.

"Don't you think you're being a little selfish?" Perry asked. "The only
reason you want to ask Mark is because he's your boyfriend."

"But at least you guys know him," Josh said.

"True," Perry said. "But I think you could at least take the time and get
to know Ben too. It's only fair. He's a really nice guy."

"We're not going to make any decisions right away," Jason pointed out. "But
it's something that we need to start thinking about."

Josh stood. "I'll meet the guy, but I'm not making any promises," He said,
walking out of the room.

"What was that all for?" Perry asked.

Jason sighed. "I don't know." He stood up. "I'm gonna head upstairs, I'm
tired."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Perry asked softly.

Jason shook his head. "No, I think I'll be okay."

"All right," Perry said. "It's good to have you back Jay."

"It's good to be back," Jason said, putting his bowl into the
dishwasher. "Good night Perry," He said, going out of the room.

"Good night," Perry said.

*****

The next morning, Perry was the first one out to work. All three of the
guys worked day shifts, so they were all up at the same time. Josh and
James both would be leaving shortly after Perry.

As he was about to leave, the 3 of them were in the kitchen, and he had an
idea.

"Hey guys, why don't we have a really nice dinner tonight?" Perry
said. "I'll be home before you so I can get things started. We can invite
everyone, Mark, Sabrina, Amy."

"That sounds nice," Josh said, nodding.

"I'd like to call Ben and ask him to come too," Jason said.

Perry looked at Josh. Josh simply shrugged.

"That's fine Jay," He said.

"Great!" Perry said, sounding excited. "I'll bring home a ham then, is that
okay with you guys?"

"Sure," Jay said. "I'm sure Sabrina will want to bring something."

"Yeah, I'll talk to Amy today at work," Josh said. "I'm not sure what her
schedule is like."

"Okay," Perry said. He looked at his watch. "I really gotta run," He
said. "I will see you guys later then."

"I'll call your cell phone and let you know what Ben and Sabrina say,"
Jason said.

"Awesome," Perry said, grabbing his keys off the counter. "You better call
too Josh, about Amy and Mark."

"I will," Josh said, nodding.

"I'm outta here!" Perry said, walking out of the room. "See ya!"

"Bye!" Jason called out.

There was an awkward moment of silence after Perry left the room.

"Jason, there's something I need to talk to you about," Josh said.

"Is this about Mark again?" Jason asked. "Because if it is..."

"It's not that," Josh said. "Sabrina wants to give us her house."

Jason's mouth dropped open. "What?" He asked.

"She thinks it will help us out," Josh said. "With us not having to pay a
mortgage things could be a lot easier."

"I couldn't do that Josh," Jason said. "She loves that house."

"Jason I think we should really consider it," Josh said.

Jason shook his head. "I can't believe you're saying that. I won't move out
Josh. We're going to be just fine." He turned and walked out of the room,
leaving Josh alone.

*****

That evening, Perry walked in the door carrying four bags of groceries in
his hand. He had not been this excited about something for a while. Both
Jason and Josh had called and left messages for him saying that everyone
was going to come.

Perry dropped off the bags on the kitchen table, ran up to his room to
change his clothes and then he began to get things prepared.

The first person to arrive was Amy. Perry heard the doorbell ring just as
he was about to put the ham into the oven. He wiped his hands on a towel
and ran out to answer it.

"Hey sweetie!" Hey said to Amy, giving her a big hug and pulling her
inside.

"Oh my!" She said with a laugh, shutting the door behind them as Perry
finally let go of her. "Someone's in a good mood."

Perry smiled. "Yeah I am." He turned and headed back into the
kitchen. "Come on, you can help me get this food all ready," He said to Amy
as she hung her jacket on the coat rack. She came into the kitchen a moment
later.

"Ooh Perry, I never knew you were such a good cook," She said jokingly.

He laughed. "Ha! You don't know me very well girl!"

"You're crazy," Amy said. She set the bag in her hand on the counter. "I
brought two bottles of soda."

"Thanks," Perry said. "I'm gonna try this recipe for a sweet potato pie
that my grandma used to make." He paused, looking at the index card in his
hand. "You can help me, so I don't make a complete fool of myself."

"Oh I know how you are!" She said, punching him playfully on the arm. "You
just want someone to blame when it tastes awful!" She laughed.

"Please help me," Perry said desperately. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

Amy smiled. "All right, I'll help. Do you got an apron or something?"

"I think Jason might have one of his work ones up in his closet," Perry
said.

"I'll go look," Amy said, bouncing out of the room. Perry began to get out
all the ingredients he was going to need, and she returned a few moments
later, wearing one of the red aprons that Jason wore to work.

"Looking good lady," Perry said. "Let's get this show on the road."

As they began to mix the ingredients in a large bowl, Amy asked about
Jason.

"He seems to be moved back in all right," She said. "His room looks the
same as it always has."

"Yeah," Perry said. "We're probably gonna have to move all the computer
stuff into his room and let whoever moves in have the computer room."

"But that room's so small," Amy said.

"I know," Perry said. "I was thinking about moving in there myself. I
really don't have that much stuff anyway."

"And then you'd be right across the hall from Jason," Amy said with a grin.

"Yeah, that thought did cross my mind," Perry said.

As they laughed, the door opened again, this time it was Josh and Mark,
coming in with a bag of groceries.

"We brought our share," Mark said. He set the bag down on the counter and
gave Perry a quick hug and then did the same with Amy. Josh followed,
greeting his roommate and co-worker in the same way.

"Everything should be ready in a half an hour or so," Amy said. "Providing
no one else brings something we have to cook."

"It smells good," Mark said. "I'm starving!"

"Well you're just going to have to wait," Perry teased.

"I'm gonna go hop in the shower real quick," Josh said.

"I'll come up with you," Mark said, taking Josh's hand and letting Josh
lead him out of the room.

"Ooh, somebody's gonna have some fun!" Amy said with a laugh.

A few minutes later Sabrina arrived, with some dinner rolls. She was soon
followed by her brother, who rushed in the door, thinking he was late.

"No, we didn't miss you at all!" Perry joked, putting his arm around
Jason's waist. "The house was so quiet."

"Gee thanks," Jason said, grinning. "At least I'm good for noise
pollution."

Perry squeezed Jason. "You're good for more than that baby." He said in a
purr-like voice.

"You guys need a room," Sabrina teased.

"We already have a few of them," Jason said.

"What's with this sexual tension tonight?" Amy asked Sabrina,
smiling. "These guys are starting to make me feel a little uncomfortable."

Sabrina laughed. "You know it girlfriend. Us ladies have to stick
together."

"Has Ben got here yet?" Jason asked.

"Not yet," Perry said. Then there was a ring of the doorbell, and a small
knock. "But I am guessing that would be him."

"Oh yes, let's bring him into the welcoming committee," Sabrina joked. The
girls stood back in the living room as Jason opened the door, with Perry
close behind.

Ben stood outside, looking quite attractive in his silver liquid pants, a
tight blue ribbed sweater and a leather jacket. His bleach-blonde hair was
spiked and messy, and he held a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"I didn't know what to bring," He said. "So I thought flowers for the table
would be nice."

"That's great," Jason said, letting Ben inside, and then giving him a hug.

"Hey Perry," Ben said, hugging him as well, and then handing him the
flowers.

"It's great to see you again," Perry said. "I'll go get something to put
these in," He walked out of the room.

"Okay Jason," Sabrina said, coming up to him and Ben, with Amy beside
her. "Tell me who this incredibly sexy guy is!"

"Girls, this is Ben," Jason said, smiling. "Ben this is my sister Sabrina
and our good friend Amy."

"Nice to meet you ladies," Ben said.

"Why is it all the hot ones are gay?" Amy joked, bumping her body into
Sabrina's.

Ben laughed. "You girls are going to make me blush."

"Let me take your jacket," Jason said. Ben gave it to him and Jason hung it
on the coatrack.

"Please tell me you work out to have a body like that!" Sabrina said to
Ben, giving him a playful laugh.

"Yeah I used to go to the gym all the time," Ben said. "I actually haven't
been in a while."

"You should get these guys to go with you sometime," Amy said.

"Hey!" Jason said.

"Sorry babe," Sabrina said. "But I gotta agree with her. If it did wonders
for Ben..." She and Amy giggled.

"Girls," Jason said, shaking his head. "I guess as soon as Josh and Mark
get down here we can get to dinner."

"Let me go up and bug them," Amy said, heading up the stairs. "We'll be
down in a minute."

Jason and Sabrina took Ben into the dining room, where Perry was finishing
setting the places. He had moved the small kitchen table into the room to
give them more eating space. On each of the two tables sat a small vase
with the flowers in it. Candles were lit, and it looked really classy.

"This looks great," Ben said. "Thanks for inviting me Jason."

"I'm glad you came!" Jason said.

"Sabrina, you wanna help me with getting the food out?" Perry asked, going
back into the kitchen.

"Kitchen duty," Sabrina said to the guys as she followed Perry into the
kitchen.

A few minutes later Amy came downstairs with Josh and Mark not far
behind. They were introduced to Ben, and then they all sat down and Perry
began serving the food.

*****

After the meal, the girls left, and Mark left soon after they did. Perry
insisted that he could clean up on his own, leaving Josh, Jason and Ben to
sit in the living room and talk. The television was on to a sports channel,
but no one was really paying much attention to it.

"So Jason tells me you might be interested in taking the extra spot we have
in this living arrangement," Josh said to Ben, a little edge to his voice.

"Yeah," Ben said. "I've been living by myself for a while now, and my
landlord is raising my rent. I just can't afford that extra payment with my
car and everything else."

"I know how it is," Josh said. He looked at Jason. "Jay and I have not
really had much positive discussion on this issue, but I think he's got
good judgment, and I trust him." He paused again, and looked back at
Ben. "I know I just met you tonight, but if Jay feels so strongly about you
being the right person and Perry agreeing, I don't see why it's a problem."

"Are you sure?" Ben asked. "I know this feels kind of rushed."

"It is rushed," Jason spoke up. "But we can't go much longer without that
extra money for rent and bills."

"Unless we take another option," Josh quickly added, getting a sharp glare
from his cousin. "But we really don't want to do that."

Ben didn't say anything at first. "I'd really like to move in and help you
guys out. It might take a few weeks to get it all to happen, but if you
guys are okay with that..." He let it trail off.

Jason looked at Josh and nodded. Josh sighed.

"Yes," Josh said. "I think that will work."

Ben smiled. "Great," He said, looking at his watch and standing. "Well it's
getting late and I have a bit of a drive to get home."

"I'll walk you out," Jason said, standing.

"It was nice to meet you Josh," Ben said. "I'm really looking forward to
this." He paused. "I promise you I won't be like your last situation."

"Oh I know you won't be," Josh said. He shook Ben's hand. "Welcome to the
family." He said with a shrug.

Jason went with Ben out to the car, said goodbye and then went back
inside. Perry had finished cleaning up and started the dishwasher.

"So what's the verdict?" He asked, coming into the living room where Josh
and Jason were.

"He's in," Josh said.

"What made you change your mind?" Jason asked, sitting next to Josh on the
sofa.

"It was Mark actually," Josh said. "He felt we weren't ready to live
together and he wanted to keep the relationship the way it was."

"I'm sorry I was so demanding about this," Jason said. "Something about Ben
just clicked with me and I knew he was the right person."

"It's okay Jay, I should have trusted your judgment," Josh said. "Both of
you guys."

"You had your right to be cautious," Perry said. "After all, you pay your
share of the bill too."

"That's true," Jason said. He gave his cousin a hug. "I'm tired, and I want
to get some sleep."

"All right," Josh said. "I think I'm going to watch some T.V."

"I'm going to wait for that dishwasher to get done and then finish the
kitchen," Perry said.

"Dinner was wonderful Perry," Jason said, going over to him and giving him
a quick kiss. "You're a sweetheart." He started to leave the room. "Good
night guys."

"Good night," They echoed.

*****

JOURNAL ENTRY -- JASON

WELL, I'M BACK HOME NOW, AND BEN WILL BE MOVING IN AS SOON AS HE CAN.

I DON'T THINK TWO MONTHS AGO I WOULD HAVE BELIEVED ALL THIS WOULD HAPPEN
THE WAY IT DID.

TWO MONTHS AGO I WAS BACK HOME LIVING WITH MOM, DAD AND KEVIN. THINGS WERE
ROUTINE, I FELT COMFORTABLE IN MY SAFE SURROUNDINGS.

THEN I GOT HERE, AND THE MESS WITH TREVOR HAPPENED. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO
FORGIVE HIM FOR WHAT HE DID TO ME. BUT I AM LEARNING TO MOVE ON. I DON'T
THINK ABOUT HIM AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT I WOULD. I'M SURE HE IS JUST FINE WITH
HIS NEW LIFE, AND HE DOES NOT MISS ME AT ALL.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T REALLY MISS NOT HAVING HIM HERE EITHER. I'M
HAPPY WITH THE WAY THAT THINGS ARE GOING. PERRY AND I ARE CLOSER THAN EVER,
JOSH IS BECOMING MORE AND MORE LIKE MY BEST FRIEND EVERY DAY AND BEN IS
JUST THIS NEW AND EXCITING PERSON I CANNOT WAIT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT.

AND MORE THAN EVER, I FEEL FREE. THINGS FEEL RIGHT TO ME. THEY FEEL LIKE
THEY HAPPEN FOR A REASON. I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED WAS TO
TEACH ME A LESSON OF SOME SORT. I KNOW THAT MY EXPERIENCE WITH TREVOR WAS
TO TEACH ME MORE ABOUT MYSELF, MORE ABOUT LOVE. I DID LOVE HIM, AND WHEN WE
WERE TOGETHER IT WAS SOME OF THE HAPPIEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE. BUT SOMEWHERE
ALONG THE LINE I WAS DECIEVED AND HIS FEELINGS FOR ME CHANGED. I WOULD HAVE
NEVER KNOWN EXCEPT FOR HIS STRANGE RUSHING OFF LIKE HE DID. AND THAT'S WHAT
SCARES ME. I GAVE MYSELF SO WILLINGLY TO HIM AND HE TREATED ME LIKE A FOOL.

BUT NOW I KNOW. I WILL NOT MAKE THAT SAME MISTAKE AGAIN.

I'M NOT GOING TO RUSH INTO ANYTHING. I AM GOING TO ENJOY LIFE, TAKE MY TIME
AND SEE WHAT COMES TO ME.

I AM HAPPY.
I AM ME.
IT'S ALL GOOD.