Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2010 09:56:51 -0800
From: Keiren Connors <keiren.connors@gmail.com>
Subject: Brae Chapter 13

Hoping for some kind of distraction to keep my mind from turning over and
over my dilemma on the ride back, I decided to give Cash a call to see how
his weekend with Rhett went.

"Hey!" his voice rang out enthusiastically, as he answered my call after the
second ring. "What's going on? You back yet?"

"Nope, just got on the road," I replied. "Should be back in a couple hours."

"Cool, you wanna grab dinner or something?" he asked.

"Uhh... maybe," I replied evasively. I suddenly felt guilty at the prospect of
hanging out with Cash one-on-one, as though it would somehow do something to
substantiate my recent untruths. "I'll see how I feel... I might just crash.
I'm pretty tired."

"Not a very relaxing weekend?" he asked. "How did things go with your
parents?"

"Good."

"You told them?"

"Yeah, I did. They took it pretty well. They basically said they had already
had their suspicions-"

Cash laughed. "Parents always know, dude."

"I guess..." I chuckled. "Anyways, they took it well. They love and support
me and all that stuff."

"Right."

"And obviously they have their concerns for my health and safety, so that
led to some fun talks..."

"I can only imagine," Cash said, laughing again. "I am still reeling from
the `rectal health' chat I had with my mom. There is nothing quite as
dehumanizing as talking about pink sock with your mom, dude. Top 5 worst
moments of my life."

"Yeah... I didn't have it quite that bad," I snickered. Already, just a couple
of minutes on the phone with Cash had me feeling so much better. I had
almost forgotten about my problems entirely.

"So did you tell your parents about Tate?" he asked.

"Uhh... not exactly," I replied, dodging the subject, reluctant to give that
subject any footing. "So, I was actually calling to hear how things went
with Rhett this weekend," I continued, changing the subject.

Cash groaned. "Damn that kid is a handful."

"What do you mean?!" I said with an amused chortle.

"That boy had my number in about two seconds and was trying to get in my
pants all weekend!"

"What?!" I shrieked, bursting into laughter. "He certainly had no such
prowess when we were hooking up."

"Yeah, well, maybe not, but he's quite the little monster now."

"Well, that's New York for you I guess... I hope he's all right," I replied,
suddenly a little concerned about Rhett's welfare. The city had a way of
swallowing up kids with a hedonistic streak and a bank account, and I hoped
that he wasn't getting himself into any real trouble.

"Seems like he can fend for himself. He is an aggressive little bugger."

"What'd he do?" I asked, dumbfounded. He'd barely spent 24 hours in
Carrington, I hardly believed he could have gotten up to much.

"Well I met him for brunch and then dropped him off at the student center
for his campus tour and had him meet me at the library after. Then I gave
him another walk around and brought him over The Gnat, where he proceeded to
try and grope me in the locker room."

"No!" I scoffed.

"Oh yes. Then there was the footsy action all through dinner. I managed to
pass him off on the girls after that, they took him out somewhere, only to
have him show up outside my door at 3am, undressing himself..."

"What?!" I gasped.

"Yup. Stripping off his clothes in the hallway and screaming my name."

"Fuck."

"He wished. It was literally all I could do to get him semi-dressed again
and then I had to throw him over my shoulder and carry him back to his
hotel."

"I like can't believe this," I groaned. This sounded a far cry from the
sweet, relatively shy boy I'd known growing up. I was certainly glad I
hadn't had to deal with Rhett's predatory behavior. "I am so, so sorry you
had to deal with that. I am in complete shock. I promise he is usually a
really sweet guy."

"Well... I dunno, the guy I met seemed to have drunk the Nicola punch."

"Well that is alarming," I said with a laugh. "Thanks so much for dealing
with him and I am so sorry. If I had known he was going to act like that I
never would have suggested that he contact you. I honestly thought that you
guys might even hit it off..." I admitted.

"I figured as much," Cash replied. I could almost hear him smirking. "That
could not have been farther from the case though."

"Yeah... sorry," I said, awkwardly.

"It's fine. He passed out before I got him to his hotel so that was pretty
much the end of it. No problems getting him into bed or anything like that
and then I avoided his calls this morning and hid out with Kenner and
Cameron in the library in case he decided to drop by my room again."

"Ugh," I groaned. "I can't believe it. Well I am really, really sorry. And
seriously, you did me a huge favor so thank you. I know Tate would not have
been pleased if I had been on the receiving end of all of that
harassment—not to mention I could not have pawned him off nearly as easily
as you. Thanks for taking care of him though."

"Sure Brae, anything for you dude," Cash replied.

"Yeah, uhh, okay," I said, suddenly feeling a little awkward. "Well, I guess
I should, umm, focus on the drive. Just wanted to check in and see how
things went."

"Okay, well call me when you're back if you want to do dinner."

"Uhh, yeah. And thanks again for everything with Rhett."

"Don't worry about it. If nothing else it was a memorable weekend. And
hey—it's nice to feel desired every now and again, even if the guy was kinda
crazy."

I managed a forced chuckle. "Alright, talk to you later. Bye," I said,
hanging up the phone and tossing it into the passenger seat.

"Well fuck. That's a whole `nother can of worms," I groaned.



* * *

 I was back in Carrington by 6pm and I immediately beelined it to the
library, not even bothering to stop by my room beforehand. I found myself an
isolated little study carrel in the rarely-frequented Asian Literature
section (which apparently was a highlight of the university's collection)
and let myself slip away into a time and place long and far away from the
present, aided by the words of Thomas Hardy and the damp chill and musky
odors of the great stone library.

Desperate as I was to remain forever in the (equally dire and depressing)
world of Jude and Sue, severe hunger pains forced me to surface and I headed
back to the dorms at around 10pm to grab a quick bite from the dining hall
before I headed to bed.

It was impossible not to mull over the unfortunate situation I'd gotten
myself into for the millionth time and my mind ran through the parallels
between the struggles that Tate and I would surely have as a couple and
those of Jude and Sue. A gloomy silence had settled over the campus, the
students sombered by the threat of the looming school week and the start of
midterm season. I had my first exam in Econ on Thursday, which made the
timing of my parents' trip that much worse.

I still had no idea what I was going to do. A part of me hoped that Tate and
Cash might agree to play along and that the three of us might put on a
convincing enough charade to get my parents off of my case. I felt pretty
confident that Cash would be pretty amenable --although after his disastrous
weekend with Rhett I wouldn't blame him for denying me all future favors—I
was equally positive that Tate was not going to stand for deceitfulness,
especially where my parents were concerned.

`Damn him and his lofty ideals,' I cursed to myself.

I pondered over whether I should I tell my parents I lied before or after
they arrived. `If I tell them before, they might have more time to come to
terms with it,' I told myself. `But that also would give them more time to
put some kind of plan in action to separate me and Tate,' a nagging voice in
the back of my mind piped up. `Waiting until they get here might make the
lie seem even more egregious and Tate might take some of the heat just by
proxy. Mom will totally think he was complicit,' I told myself. `But Tate
will also totally charm them. I know he will. Plus, ballsy as mom is, I
don't think she could actually insist on this in front of Tate... that would
be unfathomably awkward...'

"YOU'RE MYYYY FUNNY VALENTIIIIINE..." my phone suddenly blared my ringtone for
Tate, startling me so much that I managed to jump about three feet in the
air before tripping myself on my less than graceful descent, and stumbling
off the sidewalk, catching myself with my hands and barely avoiding a face
plant in the dewy grass. "SWEET COMIC VALENTIIIIINE..." my phone continued.

"I thought you were on vibrate," I muttered to myself, rolling over into a
sitting position and digging my phone of my pocket. `Thank God this didn't
go off in the library,' I thought to myself.

"Hey pussy boy, nice ringtone," a familiar voice barked from behind me. I
cringed at the site of Drake approaching—this was the last thing I wanted to
have to deal with.

I quickly hit the answer button on my phone. "Hey, hold on one second," I
said into the receiver before turning towards Drake. "Seriously Drake, I
just spent 48 hours with my pregnant and hormonal mother, so you can't even
fathom the wrath I could bring down on your ass right now. Just walk away,"
I snapped.

Drake started, visibly thrown by my outburst. He crossed his furry arms
across his strong chest and furrowed his brow, his dark eyes glaring into
me. "Dude, take a midol," he rebutted, nevertheless backing away warily.

Tate's laughter erupted from the ear piece.

"Hey, sorry," I said turning my attention back to the phone and picking
myself up off the ground.

"Damn, I miss you," he laughed. "And boy will I ever think twice before
getting on your bad side."

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes. "He made fun of your ringtone."

"BASTARD!" Tate exclaimed with mock outrage. "That's what you get for being
such a romantic," he said. Tate had given me a bit of a hard time when I'd
changed my ringtone the morning after his serenade, but I could tell it was
a classic case of he doth protest too much.

"Whatever, you love it," I replied.

"True," he admitted with a slight snort. I could perfectly picture him
sexily biting on his lower lip to hold back a laugh.

"How's Elise?" I asked, settling myself on a bench outside the dorm,
shuddering at the feeling of the cold stone underneath my jeans.

"Trouble as always... she is making us margs right now."

"You're going out tonight?" I asked, surprised. "Doesn't she have a show
tomorrow?"

"Yeah. She is walking in two. I dunno... there is no arguing with her. Last
night was unreal. She made Nicola at White Party look tame."

"Oh God, that has to be weird for you."

"Ehh, I'm used to it. I can't remember a time when it was any other way.
Last night she dragged me to a gay bar and she took shot out of some guy's
ass."

"What?!" I choked. "Are you serious?!"

"Yup. And some drag queen's boobs. She was quite the hit."

"I'm sure."

"Oh, but wait! I can't believe you mom is pregnant. I am so excited for you!
You are going to be a great big brother Brae!"

"I hope so," I sighed.

"You will. You are one of the most caring and selfless people I know. Plus I
think you have a nurturer gene or something. I'll never forget how
protective you were of me during that whole Drake thing."

"Yeah, I just wish I was going to be around more. I feel like they won't
even know who I am."

"They'll know. Your parents will make sure of that and you'll see them a
lot. Plus, they are going to absolutely worship you."

"You think?"

"It's what younger siblings do," he said, matter of factly. "Trust me, I
would know. Oh!! You can webcam with them."

"What?"

"You can Skype with them! Like video chat, so they'll remember what you look
like and stuff."

I laughed. "That's sort of weird. Will babies understand that? They're going
to think I'm the crazy man who lives in a box."

"Do I get to be the crazy uncle?"

"I guess?" I laughed. "If you want."

"Of course, I want!"

"'Uncle' sounds sooo old."

"Newsflash Brae: we *are* old."

"We're eighteen..." I laughed.

"The exit ramp of our youth... especially in gay years," Tate replied, with
mock tragedy in his voice.

"Shut up!" I chuckled. "You're nuts."

"Nuts for you!"

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, stop, I'll have to break up with you right now
if you're going to go all corny on me."

"I can't help it, you're just *sooo* precious."

"How many drinks have you had?" I laughed.

"Just one. Elise made it."

"With what? Rubbing alcohol?"

"Everclear."

"Close enough. Be careful tonight please. "

"I will, don't worry. Someone's gotta look out for Courtney Love here."

"I heard that!!" Elise's voice rang out from the background. "Let's get this
show on the road lover boy, the car is here! Chug that margarita!"

"Brae, I gotta go," he said.

"All right, have fun. Say `hi' to your sister for me," I said.

"I will. I miss you. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight."



* * *

 "Brae!" Lottie's voice rang out from the lifeguard stand as I sleepily
trudged out of the locker room.

Waking up alone that morning felt strange and I missed Tate's contagious
energy as I pulled myself together for practice in a haze of fatigue. I was
surprised to find how much I had become accustomed to his companionship and
how tedious and meaningless my morning routine felt without him. I missed
the repartee, the teasing, even the taste of his morning breath.

I wiped the sleep out of my eyes, squinting against the aggressive sunlight
beaming in through the glass ceiling as I walked over to the lifeguard
chair. I'd tossed and turned for much of the night, plagued by nightmares of
my mother imprisoning me in a convent so that she could be sure I wouldn't
be getting any. Nuns everywhere! I shuddered. `Tate would have loved that,'
I thought to myself as I approached Lottie.

"Hey! How did it go?!" she asked cheerfully from her perch, her legs pulled
up into her oversized red hoodie, pulled tightly against her chest, and her
wisps of her silky peeking out from her hood.

"Don't you look cozy," I grumbled, suddenly feeling cruelly exposed (and
chilly!) in my tiny practice Speedo and with the harsh feeling of the cold,
wet tiles beneath my toes.

"Yeah, it's freezing! So tell me everything! Did it go okay?"

I groaned. "Sort of... It's a long story. Let' just say I've dug myself a bit
of a hole. What time does your shift end?"

"Eight."

"Do you wanna grab breakfast after? I could use your advice."

"Of course! Is everything okay?"

"I dunno... We'll discuss," I replied. While I was dreading having to rehash
the situation for about the millionth time in the last couple of days, I
knew that Lottie's advice would be valuable. "Oh! Guess what!" I continued,
happy to have a legitimate reason to change the subject.

"What?" she asked, her startlingly blue eyes looking at me expectantly.

"I am going to be a big brother."

"What?!" she squealed with excitement, her legs shooting out of her
sweatshirt as she hopped down off of the chair to hug me.

"Yup, twice over actually. Twins."

"Brae! Congratulations!" she exclaimed throwing her arms around my
shoulders. "That is so exciting!"

"Geez, if you're getting this excited, I can only imagine how Emmie is going
to react when she finds out!"

"Sedatives will definitely be necessary. Luckily, Nicola can probably supply
those. She has quite the collection of pharmaceuticals."

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me much," I chuckled.

"I can't believe your parents are pregnant," Lottie said.

"I know! It's kind of weird. I don't really know what to make of it, or how
I feel. I'm excited I guess... It just doesn't really seem real yet. And I do
wonder how it's going to change things. And how I'm going to factor into
things if I'm at Carrington."

"Yeah, I mean it's the 21st century and New York is only a few hours away...
Plus, not to be crass, but your family has the resources to make sure you
get to see each other often. I wouldn't worry about it."

"Worry about what?" Carl's voice came from behind me. "Hello again," he
said, walking up to Lottie and giving her a lingering kiss on the lips. "Hey
Brae," he continued, turning towards me, an arm possessively snaking around
Lottie's waste. I suddenly noticed that they had a similar glow about
themselves and I had a feel Lottie had some announcements of her own to make
about the events of this past weekend.

"Brae just found out his parents are pregnant," Lottie said.

"Oh, weird," Carl replied.

"Yeah," I laughed. "Tell me about it."

"He's just worried about how often he'll actually get to see the new little
Davenports. Twins!" She announced, her face alight with glee.

"Wow, that is certainly a new one," Carl laughed. "But that's cool,
congratulations."

"Thanks," I replied. "I feel a little weird accepting congratulations since
I had nothing to do with this semi-miraculous conception... thank God... but
yeah... who am I to turn down some positive affirmations?"

"Free ones at that," Lottie chimed in.

"Seriously, that's cool," Carl smiled. "So I'll see you after practice?" he
asked turning back to Lottie.

"Actually, Brae and I were going to grab breakfast, we have some things to
talk about. How about I meet you after Theories of Argumentation?"

"Okay cool, I'm going to go stretch," he said, giving her another quick peck
on the lips and then retreating back to the mats.

"What's going on there?" I whispered as he walked away.

"Shhh!" Lottie hissed. She waved her hand dismissively as she climbed back
onto the chair. Her hair fell in a wavy mess in front of her face and she
pushed it back light heartedly.

"Does this mean you two are an official couple now? With PDAs and
everything?"

"I guess," she replied rolling her eyes. "We'll talk about it at brekkie.
Why don't you go stretch? I don't want you getting cramps all through your
workout."

"I'm sure," I scoffed as she studied her cuticles evasively, picking at the
remaining flecks of white polish that remained from last week's party. "All
right, you're off the hook for now, but I expect full details later."

"Of course," she giggled. "Have a good workout!"



* * *

 The workout was rough. Timmy clearly didn't believe in easing off at all
before competitions and he rode us hard in preparation for Friday's meet. I
was insanely jealous, and a little incredulous, that Tate had managed to get
away with missing three practices, although I knew that Timmy had written
him up workouts that he was meant to be doing in New York. And given Tate's
faultless ethics, I had no doubt that he completed them down to the last
yard.

Tensions were running high in Lane 2, as the prospect of Friday's meet
seemed to have everyone on edge. While I wouldn't have thought it possible,
Lip was even more asinine and ADD than normal and the generally somber Henry
was downright severe. Eric and I had our hands full keeping the peace, as
Lip seemed intent on working off his anxieties by getting underneath Henry's
skin. The four of us also represented the four best breaststrokers on the
team and so there was a bit of a competitive undercurrent running through
Lip's jibes as Friday's seedings would essentially rank us for probably the
rest of the season. As the weakest swimmer amongst us, Lip certainly had the
most be worried about.

Eric, meanwhile, was ecstatic to have seen his brother, who was on leave
from his service in Iraq, over the weekend and regaled us with second-hand
stories that honestly floated right over my head in my exhausted state. His
enthusiasm was touching though. I remembered that he was the baby in his
family and it was clear that he absolutely worshipped his older brothers. I
could only hope that my future siblings would look up to me with the same
sense of reverence.

It felt good to be in the pool again and it was a welcome escape from the
constant barrage of thoughts and anxieties that had been bombarding my tired
mind since Saturday. The steady rhythm of pull, kick, breathe lulled my mind
into docility. For a couple short hours the gnawing feeling deep in my gut
ceded its hold on me, replaced by the pleasant burning of my lungs and the
straining muscles in my limbs. It felt like coming home.



* * *

 "Wow, you fucked up," Lottie exhaled, when I'd finished my account of the
weekend's events. She puckered her lips into a small pink rosebud of a
grimace.

"I know! I panicked," I groaned, dejectedly shoving another spoon full of
maple syrup into my mouth.

"That is so sick. I don't know how you can eat that plain."

I shrugged. "That's nothing. When I was little I used to sneak into the
fridge and chug this stuff from the bottle," I said, removing the spoon from
my mouth and slowly pouring myself another spoonful from the dispenser.

"That is sick and disturbed. Please stop. This is just masochistic behavior.
We can figure this out."

"Ugggh," I groaned again. "This is literally crippling me with anxiety, I
don't know what to do about it."

"Well given that you didn't tell Tate immediately, you've already missed out
on honesty points, so I don't think there is any harm in waiting another day
until you see him in person."

"Honesty points?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

 "Sure, if you come clean immediately you totally score honesty points with
someone like Tate. He's the type of guy who wants you to acknowledge that
you were ethically in the wrong and to show regret," she said. She was right
of course.

"But I do regret it!"

"Yes, but you waited too long. It will be harder for him to be mad at you
when you're in the room and he can see how upset you are about the whole
thing. You are his major weakness, you should take advantage of that fact."

"Don't you think he'll be annoyed that I didn't tell him and my parents are
arriving the next day?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, but I think he's going to be annoyed regardless. Plus,
you know he's going to have to rally behind you when they get here, so he
can't really be mad at you for as long."

"But what if he doesn't?"

"Come on Brae, he loves you. Is he going to be pissed? Yes. But this isn't a
deal breaker. He'll understand that you acted out of panic and he will
forgive you."

"I wish I was as optimistic."

"Brae, he will," she cooed reassuringly, extending her delicate hand across
the table to grab mine, the mess of gold bangles on his wrist clinking
against the table.

"He can be so moralistic though. And uncompromising. He's been jerked around
before and I don't think he would stand for it again."

"You're not jerking him around though Brae. Do I think he will go along with
the Cash scheme? No. I don't. But I think if you take steps to rectify the
situation and come clean about everything, he'll forgive you."

"Even if he does, I doubt my parents are likely to be as forgiving."

"Yeah, I mean, I don't really know what to say about that," she said,
tugging at the drawstring of her hoodie for a moment before absent mindedly
sticking the end of it into her mouth and chewing on it. A thoughtful
expression was written upon her brow. "I mean do you think they would really
split you guys up?"

"Yes. You do not know my mother. She is a ridiculously stubborn woman."

Lottie shrugged. "I mean, I understand their perspective. Especially since
they have never met Tate. I can't say I wouldn't feel the same way in their
position."

"Seriously?" I scoffed, a little offended. Lottie was my best friend at
Carrington, aside from Tate, and I wanted to feel like she was 100% on my
side.

"I mean I think what you and Tate have going on works. I get it, but would I
want to be living with my boyfriend at this age? No."

"Yeah, well I still think it should be my decision. Besides, it's not like
Tate and I went into this arrangement with the intention of being together.
Things just happened organically and they work the way they are," I huffed,
feeling myself becoming increasingly exasperated.

"I know Brae, but they don't know that or see it that way..."

"Who has the French toast?" bellowed our stately, plump server bearing a
bowl of oatmeal on the edge of which she'd precariously balanced my plate of
French toast. Her crisply starched apron covered a worn-looking 50's style
pink dress, matching the diner's kitschy feel.

"I did," I replied, reaching out for my plate.

"It wouldn't kill you to eat, child," she barked, loudly clanking Lottie's
bowl on the table in front of her.

"And it wouldn't kill you to skip a few meals Bea," Lottie snapped back.

"Probably true. I'll have your fruit cup in a minute."

"Thanks Bea!" Lottie smiled. "So are you going to tell your parents before
they get here? Or are you going to spring it on them when they arrive?"
Lottie asked turning her attention back to me.

"I was thinking I would go for the element of surprise. Hope that good
breeding will force them to put on a civil façade for Tate's sake."

"Ahhh," Lottie nodded, pulling a steaming spoonful of oatmeal up to her
mouth and blowing softly. "Could work. Plus Tate has a winning personality.
He could certainly charm them."

"That is more or less what I was banking on," I replied, drenching my French
toast in maple syrup and then cutting myself off a piece.

"I approve. And if it doesn't work?"

"I can't even think about that right now," I moaned.

"Okay," Lottie smiled. "One crisis at a time."

"Exactly," I sighed. "Thanks for talking, I really do feel a lot better."

"Of course!" Lottie winked at me, reaching out to grab her fruit cup off of
Bea's tray as she passed by our table.

"Ok, so your turn, spill it," I goaded, taking another large bite of my
French toast, and relishing the rich thick flavor of the maple syrup as it
slid across my tongue.

Lottie smiled coyly. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean!" I laughed. "So you and Carl and official now?"

"Yes, Carl and I are official now. Nicola obviously feels completely
betrayed and is calling herself the spinster of our apartment now." We both
laughed. "Basically Carl took me out to dinner Saturday night, we had a long
talk about what we wanted, and yeah..."

"So, what? He wanted a relationship and you wanted..."

"I don't know exactly. But he more-or-less said what I wanted to hear. I
think he's serious about giving this a chance, so I decided the least I
could do was give him one."

"Give him one what?" I asked, confused.

"A chance!"

"Oh, right. So you had your chat and then decided that you are man and
girlfriend?"

"Pretty much... things were consummated, or re-consummated I should say,
shortly there after... multiple times."

"Sounds like a good time," I chuckled.

"Oh it was," she smirked, taking another large spoonful of her oatmeal. "The
best," she mumbled raising her eyebrows playfully.

"Well that's great, I'm very happy for both of you. You certainly made him
work for it, poor guy, but I get it... I think you're going to be good
together."

"I hope so. I mean, he's a senior, so I don't think I'm going into the
mindset of it being anything too serious, but it will be good for the year.
Definitely a mature relationship."

"A mature relationship?" I scoffed. "What does that entail?!" I said
scrunching my face into a sarcastic scowl.

"Not rushing him out the door first thing in the morning? Acknowledging him
in public? Who knows?"

"So basically, ask yourself what would Nicola do... and then do the opposite..."

"Basically."

"I bet Emmie is thrilled that now she can plan double dates for you guys," I
teased.

"No, Emmie is thrilled that now she can organize triple dates for all of
us," She rebutted.

"Oh God," I snorted. "I'll warn Tate."

"She is also comprising a list of potential boy prowls for Nicola and
another list of activities we can all do to make Nicola feel included... I'm
not kidding."

"Does Nicola know about this?" I chuckled.

"No."

"Good, cause then I'm guessing that suicide watch would probably top out
that activities list."

"No that would be second. First would probably be homicide prevention. Emmie
should be very afraid," Lottie laughed.

"What is actually on the top of the list?"

"Wine tastings."

"Oh, well Nicola will be into that," I said optimistically.

"Yes, over half the list is alcohol related," Lottie laughed.

"I feel good about that," I laughed. "It's realistic."

"Yeah, Emmie may be an optimist, but she isn't stupid. You should have seen
her with Colin this weekend though," Lottie said, rolling her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Colin's interview is this week—"

"What interview?" I interrupted.

"For the grad program here. Something sciencey, I forget what exactly.
Obviously Emmie is desperate for him to get in, so she's made him literally
dozens of flash cards with interview questions *and* she has literally
plastered our apartment, and presumably his place as well, with
inspirational post-its. They are literally everywhere! The fridge, the
microwave, the kitchen cabinets, the TV remote, the bathroom mirror, all
over her bedroom... Nicola is having a field day with it."

"I can imagine. Emmie sure has a lot of time on her hands..." I laughed.

"Time on her hands and clichés up her sleeve," Lottie smiled.



* * *

 The rest of my day was comprised of classes, more practice, dinner with
Cameron and Kenner, and then a few hours in the library. I don't know if it
was the benefit of my chat with Lottie or my busy schedule, but my head
finally felt clear for the first time in days, and the crippling anxiety
plagued me no more.

I was sure to take diligent notes for Tate in our English class and grab him
a copy of our midterm paper assignment which was due on Friday, although we
had an extension until Monday because of our traveling meet on Friday.
Nonetheless, I figured it was a little too early in my college career to
start procrastinating, even when I was given license.  I began dutifully
outlining my ideas in class, as I found that the discourse, without Tate's
usual dynamic presence, wasn't very stimulating.

We were in the weight room for the first part of our afternoon practice so I
had the opportunity to pick Colin's brain for a while we spotted for each
other. His interview was on Thursday afternoon and it was for the mechanical
engineering graduate program at Carrington. While his family hoped that he
would end up somewhere closer to home in Florida (he had already been
accepted to a couple of schools down there), he was hoping to end up in
Carrington for another couple of years. Emmie was one consideration, which
surprised me since they had really only been together for a couple months,
and I didn't realize that they saw such a future in their relationship.
Colin also wanted to stay involved with Carrington swimming and possibly to
train with the team to stay in shape. I could understand feelings that he
had established a solid network and life here in Carrington, and his
reluctance to leave all that behind.

Over dinner Cam, Kenner, and I speculated about the upcoming meet. As our
fastest breaststroker, I was pretty confident that I would get to swim in
the scoring heats as well as a number of relays, but their positions were a
little more precarious. They both hoped they'd at least get to participate
in a scoring relay, though on a team as deep as Carrington's they knew they
might have to do their time for a couple of years. Cameron probably had a
better chance than Kenner at seeing some good races this season. Princeton
wasn't likely to be a particularly difficult opponent, so I could see Timmy
potentially swimming up some of the younger guys to give them a boost of
confidence.

I retreated to the library after dinner to get cracking on my English paper,
silently patting myself on the back for my diligence. I chalked it up to the
novelty of working on my first collegiate assignment because this was
certainly unlike me. While I always got my shit done in the end, it wasn't
unusual for me (or at least high school me) to be up into the early hours
the night before an assignment was due.

I found that I was avoiding returning to the dorm... somehow my room didn't
seem quite like home without Tate there. I finally headed back to hit the
sack a little before midnight, leaving Tate a voicemail on my walk back. I
was sure that Elise had him out celebrating his last night in New York and I
could only hope that she'd also manage to get him on his 7am flight the next
morning.

As I tucked myself into bed, I couldn't help but feel a little panged again
at Tate's absence. All I wanted was him there with me and to know that
everything was going to be okay despite my little fuck up. Feeling a little
foolish, I slid myself out of bed, and tiptoed across the chilly floor to
Tate's side of the room. Just pulling back the covers, I already felt closer
to him as his clean, masculine scent engulfed me.

"Brae you're such a weirdo," I whispered to myself, vowing that I would make
the bed perfectly in the morning so that Tate would never suspect.
Nonetheless, I suddenly found myself completely at ease and able to drift
off into a deep, peaceful sleep.



* * *

 My stomach clenched and it was impossible to suppress a huge smile from
plastering itself across my face when Tate finally appeared at the top of
the arrivals escalator. His flight had been delayed slightly so I'd been
killing time in the airport terminal for nearly an hour, trying to stave off
hunger pains with the contents of an unfortunately under-stocked vending
machine. I regretted not stopping by the dining hall after practice to at
least pick up something for the road. I was sure Tate would have been glad
for a bagel or something too, unless he was still suffering from his
activities the night before.

His face stretched into a huge grin and his eyes sparkled when they finally
met mine. It was impossible not to feel a jolt of electricity in my groin,
especially when I took in the sight of his muscular form, perfectly
accentuated by his tight white tee and perfectly tailored jeans, a leather
jacket casually slung over his shoulder. He was truly a vision.

"Hey," he whispered against my neck, as he threw a strong arm around my
shoulders, crushing me to his chest.

"Hey," I replied softly, pulling back cautiously. Neither one of us  was
looking to invite the attention of the other people around us, so we quietly
made our way out of the terminal back to my car. His arm snaked back around
me as we crossed the parking lot, our breath steaming in the crisp morning
air. My stride matched his and suddenly the rhythm seemed restored to my
life. I sighed in relief, watching a white cloud of breath rise heavenward.

"Hey," he whispered again as we climbed into the car and he leaned across
the seat to place a soft lingering kiss on my lips.

"Hey," I replied, resting my forehead against his and drinking in his
presence. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," he smiled. "So you going to take me home or what?"

"I guess," I groaned, turning the key in the ignition. "It was so nice
having some peace and quiet the last couple of days... not to mention
breathable air."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he chuckled, reaching across and ruffling my hair. His
hand slipped down to my shoulder and rested there, his fingers occasionally
stroking at the nape of my neck.

"How was your flight?" I asked, pulling out of the lot and back towards the
highway.  I had already decided I wasn't going to bring up the drama with my
parents until we were back in our room so I could give it my full attention.
Somehow I didn't feel like the freeway was the place to have an all out
screaming fight... if it came to that. Plus I was hoping for some make-up sex.


"It was fine. We had the sleeper seats so I got to nap the whole time."

"Oh really? Weird. I feel like they don't usually have those on short
flights. How big was the plane?" I asked.

"Pretty big, but it was pretty empty. There were only three of us in first
class."

"Oh, I love when a flight is super empty, especially if I am looking to
sleep. So did you go out last night?"

He turned and gave me a look. "Do you *know* my sister?"

"Uhh..."

"Oh, I guess you don't," he laughed. "I forgot. Well, yes we went out, but I
took it pretty easy. And anyways, it's not like I'm not used to getting up
early."

"Tell me about it," I yawned for emphasis. "How did the shows go yesterday?"

"Oof, they were so weird!!" Tate laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the theme for one of the shows was black plague..." he snickered.
"Imagine two dozen emaciated looking models with scary black and red spots
painted all over themselves, while `Ring Around the Rosie' played the whole
time. It was fucking creepy!"

"And not very springy!" I joked.

"No, not very springy," he laughed. "And the second show was `Vacation to
Hades' or something like that... Elise looked like she'd just barely escaped
Pompeii with her life, or something."

"Well, that's... interesting."

"She also apparently got in a cat fight backstage at that one."

"Oh, god, why?"

"I dunno, some girl called her a size 4 or something... I'm unclear. It's
Elise, it doesn't have to be rational."

"Oh god, what am I going to do if I have sisters?" I laughed.

Tate gave my shoulder a squeeze. "You'll be fine. Let's just hope they're of
the Lottie variety and not the Nicola strain of... I don't know what."

"Seriously."

"Oh, I sent your parents a gift," he said, looking over and flashing me a
smile.

"You did?!" I asked, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, just a few little onesies from my dad's baby line, and a couple of
bathing suits, water wings, and I found some mini flippers and goggles at a
novelty store... they won't be usable, but they're cute."

"Tate, that's adorable. Seriously, you are so sweet." I felt a stab of guilt
over everything that had transpired with my parents and that I had tried to
deny my attachment to this amazing guy.

"Elise wanted to include some alcohol... but I managed to convince her that it
would be a little insensitive given that your mother can't drink for another
four months."

"Oh, god," I laughed. "I can't wait to see her and Nicola in action."

"Carrington is not ready," he replied with faux gravity.

The two of us laughed and joked our way back to Carrington and Tate filled
me in on the details (well what he could remember anyways) of his wild
nights out on the town with Elise.

"It's good to be back," he announced, stretching out his arms and inhaling
deeply as he stepped into our room. "Home sweet home!" he said, throwing his
bag on the ground and flopping onto the bed. He looked up and made a
peculiar face. "My bed smells like you," he said with a wicked grin.

"What?!" I choked.

"It does!" he raised a cocky eyebrow.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Umm... there is something I wanted to
talk to you about though," I said, clearing my throat and walking over to
take a seat on my own bed. I suddenly felt about five years old, as though I
were turning myself in for punishment.

"Okaaaaay," he said a little suspiciously, sitting upright so that he was
directly across from me.

"Okay, so do you remember when I said that I did something bad that you
probably weren't going to be happy about?"

"Yeeees," he said, dragging out his vowels slowly, giving me an expectant
look.

"And you said I should fix it?"

"Riiiight."

"Well here goes. So, basically my parents asked me if you and I were in a
relationship... because my mother had obviously done her homework and knows
that you're gay... and, well, basically, I lied..."

"And said that we weren't," Tate said, completing my sentence. "Brae, it's
okay, I mean it's less than ideal, but coming out was a big enough step for
one weekend. We can ease your parents into the idea of me. It's a lot I
think for parents to not only find out their kid is gay, but also actively
so at the same time."

"Well it's more than that... basically I told them that I was dating Cash," I
begrudgingly admitted. Tate looked like someone had kicked the air out of
him and I immediately began scrambling to minimize the damage. "You don't
understand!" I pleaded. "I was flustered and they got me to admit that I was
in a relationship, and then they asked if it was you and my mom said that if
it was they would have us separated. They cornered me, I was trapped, I
didn't know what to do, and I didn't want them to split us up... so I lied.
And I have felt awful about it literally since the moment I said it, but I
was panicked and I didn't know what to do. You don't know my mother and the
last thing I would want was for us to be separated, so yeah... I made a
mistake."

"I can't believe you would do that," Tate said softly. "It would be one
thing if you'd just said we weren't dating, but the fact that you put Cash
over me."

"They already knew I'd said I was in a relationship and I was desperate.
He's the only other gay person at this school that I know!" Tate shook his
head and looked down at the floor. "Tate they'll split us up!" I exclaimed.
"I want to come clean, I don't want to lie. It isn't fair to you or to
anybody. My parents are coming on Wednesday and I want to tell them the
truth, both of us, but they will split us up. They don't approve of me
living with my boyfriend."

"Why didn't you tell me about this before? Immediately. Why haven't you
already fixed this?"

"I dunno, I was afraid. I wanted to tell you in person. I thought it would
be easier if told you in person. And I thought it would be easier to tell my
parents in person... with your support... I hope."

"This is such bullshit! I don't get why you would do this. For one thing,
you're eighteen, you're not a minor, your parents can't dictate anything and
they can't change our living situation without your consent. Second of all
you have nothing to be ashamed of and I'm nothing to be ashamed of--"

"Tate!" I cried. "I am not ashamed of you. Or of us. I don't want you to
think that, ever. I don't know why I did it, I was just panicked. I was
emotionally overwrought and I wasn't really thinking clearly and I dug
myself a hole I don't know how to get out of. This is the best thing I have
going in my life right now... you are the best thing I have in my life right
now. I love you! You should know that!"

"I love you too, but this isn't fair. You leave this mess for me to clean up
essentially. I mean, think of this is going to make me look to your parents.
I am going to look equally complicit and equally as deceitful, and you don't
think they're going to hold that against me? You took away my chance to make
my own first impression with them, to win over two people that I feel like
are going to be very important in my life and that sucks. And I won't get
all moralistic on you because I already know that you're aware of how I feel
about lying. I am just so disappointed in you," he groaned. "I don't
understand how you can go from literally being my hero, when you stood up to
literally the entire team for me, just because it was the right thing to do,
to acting like this. It's pathetic!" His words stung like venom and I felt
tears springing to my eyes and I did my best to blink them back. A hot flush
rose to my face and neck and my mouth suddenly felt all sticky, as though I
barely had the ability to speak.

"I'm sorry," I choked. "I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say, I'm
sorry."

"And on top of it all, to choose Cash over me, and I know this is stupid,
but that makes me jealous. That's hurtful."

"Tate, I didn't choose him over you! Seriously, that's retarded. Don't think
that. I was in a stressful situation and I wasn't thinking. You have nothing
to be jealous about."

"Do your parents not like me or something?"

"They don't know you. They'll love you!" I pleaded. "This isn't about you at
all. You could be Jesus Christ and it would make any difference, they don't
want me living with my boyfriend."

"Right, I get that," he said giving me an annoyed look. "What parent would
want that? But you're an adult, they don't have that kind of control over
your life. I dunno, I'm just disappointed. I get it, mostly... I don't
understand why you had to say you were dating Cash and I don't get why you
haven't done something about this already. And I resent the situation that
you're putting me in."

"I am sorry I put you in this position, but I would really appreciate your
support with this. And seriously, you have no reason to feel threatened
about the Cash thing... my parents don't even like him... my mom wants to give
him a haircut. It was just stupid and irrational, I don't know what else to
say... I can call my parents right now and tell them everything if you want."

"No, that will only make things worse. I'm going to have to charm you, and
me, out of this situation in person." I could tell he was beginning to calm
down a little bit and I began to breathe a little easier. Everything was
going to be all right... at least until my parents arrived. "And you ruined
our first `I love you's'," he whined, getting up off of his bed and coming
over to sit next to me.

"I'm sorry," I said, putting a hand on his thigh, digging my fingernail into
the seams of his denim. "I was just scared," I said looking up into his
crystal blue eyes. "I know it doesn't make sense and I know you're upset and
I'm sorry. I dunno, I was just emotionally exhausted after everything else
that had happened and I said some stupid things. I didn't mean anything
maliciously, I just didn't want us to be split up."

"I know, I'm sorry," he said, leaning over and resting his chin against my
shoulder, his silky curls tickling against my ear.

"What are *you* sorry for?" I asked, letting my head rest against his.

"I dunno... I'm sure you've been beating yourself up over this the last few
days and it's not really that big of a deal. And, I'm sorry I blew up about
it."

"You had every right to," I replied.

"Nah, I was just being possessive."

"Such is your right," I laughed. "I would be mad too."

"Well, jealousy is unattractive. And Cash is one of our good friends, so
it's just stupid of me to get so worked up over it."

"You make jealousy quite attractive," I teased.

"Riiiight," Tate chuckled. "So what are we going to do about your parents?"

"Well the offer stands, I can call them right now and explain everything."

"Nah, I think it's better to charm the socks off of them. You're lucky I'm
such a charismatic guy."

"That you certainly are," I laughed.

"We just need to be firm, but respectful, about the fact that it's your
decision not theirs. As long as your grades are good, and you're swimming
well, and you're staying out of trouble, they really don't have any reason
to interfere. If something were to go wrong with this arrangement, we are
capable of fixing it ourselves. But, nothing is ever going to fuck this up,"
he whispered softly kissing my neck softly.

"I love you," I sighed, relishing the feeling of his soft, moist lips
against my skin.

"I love you too," he said, gently grabbing my face and slowly bringing his
lips to meet mine. "So how long before your first class," he mumbled,
playfully biting at my lower lip.

"Doesn't matter," I gasped, kissing him harder, my hands wandering down to
the bottom of his shirt.

"You're bad," he laughed as I tugged his tee up over his chiseled torso.

"Yup," I giggled, pulling his face to mine again.

A sudden knock at the door interrupted our revelry and we both froze. Tate
gave me a questioning look and I shrugged.

"Who is it?" Tate called.

"Fed Ex," came a gruff voice on the other side of the door.

"I'll get it," I said, giving Tate a second to pull down his shirt and pull
himself together.

I was surprised to find a man at the door with three large boxes stacked on
a dolly.

"Delivery for Elliot Esile," he said.

"What?" I responded. "I think you ha--"

"That's me." Tate's voice boomed from behind me, his hand found its way to
my shoulder and I could feel his million-watt smile radiating from behind
me.

"I'm going to need proof of ID," he said responded shortly. "You live here
too?" he asked looking at me.

"Uhh... yeah..." I replied.

"You too."

"Okay, give us a second," Tate said. "Elliot is the name on one of my fake
IDs," he whispered to me as the two us grabbed our wallets.

We both provided our (phony) IDs and the guy unloaded the boxes into our
room and handed Tate the clipboard to sign.

Tate opened the top box to reveal 12 handles of O2 Vodka. A card rested
neatly on top. "In honor of my imminent arrival—I figured you were probably
under-stocked, little brother. Love, Elise," he read. "Oh god," he laughed.
"This is this new sparkling vodka that she is obsessed with."

"Well I hope we like it too. We're going to be drinking it for the rest of
the year!" I laughed.

Tate raised an eyebrow. "You don't know my sister..."

"Where are we going to hide all of this?" I laughed. "My parents are coming
tomorrow!"

"We'll figure that out later," Tate said grabbing me around the waist and
dragging me back towards my bed. "We have more making up to do first!"



* * *

 Thanks everyone for your patience with this chapter. I'll try and be
quicker with the next one, but I still have a lot going on at the moment.
All of your feedback is most appreciated, even if I hadn't had the time to
respond to all of it yet, I've read it all. Thanks to Frank for editing!
Please let me know if you want to be put on the mailing list. Cheers.
-- Keiren



Copyright 2010 keiren.connors@gmail.com