Date: Sat, 24 Oct 2009 11:21:46 -0400
From: Keiren Connors <keiren.connors@gmail.com>
Subject: Brae Chapter 4

I was a minute or two late when I made it out on deck. Jimmy was leading the
guys through some stretches while Timmy looked on. Drake, Finch and their
crew of friends all looked a little worse for the wear, but none so bad as
Skip had looked. A flash of anger overcame me as I thought about how they'd
left him to take care of himself. It was obvious they didn't really care
about him. I approached Timmy, figuring I probably needed to go to the top
dog.

"Hey coach."

"Mr. Davenport..." He glanced down at his watch. "Another rough morning?"

I flushed, embarrassed. I hadn't realized that he had noticed my
indisposition the other morning. "Uhh, yes. Well, no. Not me. I learned that
lesson and now I guess it's Skip's turn... He isn't going to be able to make
it this morning."

"I see...Well I suppose I'll be having a little conversation with Mr.
Henderson this afternoon."

"Yeah, I'd say he already feels really awful about it. This is one lesson he
is learning the hard way." Timmy seemed surprise that I was voicing an
opinion. I hoped my back talk wasn't going to get me into trouble, but at
the same time, I was concerned that after Skip's emotional breakdown this
morning, further stress might just be the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Well I think it's my job, as his coach, to drill it in a little harder,"
Timmy said firmly. I was surprised at his tone, he didn't seem like a petty
man, yet it was clear this was threatening to become personal and I didn't
want Skip to suffer further at my hands.

"Well, I think it's fairly beneficial to all that Skip is learning this
lesson now, as opposed to mid-season, when it might have actually been
detrimental. And I'm sure you'll find him extraordinarily penitent this
afternoon. But of course you know best coach," I said, flashing him a smile
and then turning to join the others on the mats.

"Braeden you are with me today," Timmy announced after we'd finished
stretching and were getting ready to get in the water. I caught some
appreciative glances from some of the other freshmen, a thumbs up from
Kenner, and a scathing look of hatred from Drake. I gulped. Overjoyed as I
was to be leaving my lane with Drake, I couldn't help feeling that this
didn't bode well.

Colin clapped a supportive hand on my shoulder as we headed over to Timmy. I
was assigned to a lane with our two other breaststrokers. I recognized both
of them from Olympic Trials, and had actually bettered both of them. Eric
Worth was a junior from Texas, an inch or two shorter than me, but with a
much more powerful build. He had closely cropped light brown hair and hazel
eyes that looked golden in the early morning light of the Gnat. His features
were rugged and masculine, and he had a captivating (and large) smile. Henry
Powers was a more intimidating specimen. A senior from the Midwest, he was
impossibly tall with a lean muscular build. His blond hair seemed to have
permanent bed head and looked like it had been shorn with hedge clippers.
His face was a little gaunt and was dominated by his large dark eyes, which
often reminded me of black holes. He also sported an unusually thick beard
for someone our age I hopped in beside the two of them.

"Heya Davvy, welcome to the big leagues," Eric said, flashing his trademark
grin. I noticed he had a slight gap between his two front teeth. "You mind
if I call you Davvy? Or do you like Brae better?"

"Whichever is fine."

"I was really impressed with your swims this summer," he said, in reference
to the trials.

"Oh, thanks," I said. Behind me, Henry pushed off the wall and launched
aggressively into the workout.

"Don't mind him. He's a nice guy, he's just kinda shy. It takes him awhile
to warm up to people," Eric smiled again, reassuringly.

"If you say so!"

The workout was a punishing one and I had no doubt that I was meant to feel
the brunt of it. Luckily months of intense conditioning had me in prime
shape and I was able to push through the workout without struggling too
much. Eric and I chatted intermittently throughout the workout. He was from
Houston, the youngest of four boys, sang in an a capella group, and was
studying American history and English. He had a serious girlfriend of nearly
two years who was on the diving team.

Henry eventually displayed interest in comparing times and pullout
techniques. I couldn't have been less interested, but figured this might be
his way of being hospitable and friendly, and I was the newbie in his lane,
so I talked shop with him sporadically through the last 20 minutes of the
workout. He seemed a nice enough guy, but probably didn't have much of a
life outside swimming.

"Davenport, you can tell your friend I expect to see him here a 2:00pm
today, in my office," Timmy barked at me as I climbed out of the pool.

"Okay, coach." I grabbed my water bottle and headed with Eric into the
showers.

"Your roommate in trouble?" Eric asked, easing his powerful body into the
steaming spray of the shower. "Geez, it's hot," he said with a shudder.

"Yeah. He had a little bit too much fun last night. I hope Timmy won't be
too hard on him. I mean, at least he is learning his lesson early in the
season."

"Timmy likes us to think he's a hard ass." Eric used the suds from his
shampoo to scrub down his body. "He's generally a pretty reasonable guy
though. He'll probably scare the shit outta your friend though."

"That's pretty much how I pegged him," I said, working my hair into a
lather.

Cam and Kenner came up to hear how my first practice under Timmy went and I
introduced them to Eric, who was as friendly and full of advice for them as
he was with me. I wanted to get back to check on Skip before I left for the
beach, so I left the three of them chatting in the showers and went to
change.

"So Davvy where's your little boyfriend today?" came a taunting voice from
behind me. Drake.

I ignored the jibe. "He's busy this morning Drake. But thanks for taking
such great care of him last night. You're a real friend!" I said
facetiously.

I slammed my locker shut and grabbed my bag. Drake seemed confused by my
response.

"I think you should stay away from my roommate Drake." I turned to talk out
of the locker room.

"Maybe he's tired of being your little charity project, Davvy." Drake
sneered. "Have to buy your friends?"

I stiffened. Had Drake been feeding Skip shit like this? It could
potentially explain some of his weirdness, now that the gay guilt factor had
been ruled out. My nails dug into my palms as I clenched my fists and the
tendons in my neck tightened with anger. I took a deep breath and walked
out. I wasn't going to engage in his childish games. He wasn't worth it.



* * *

The sun was out in full force as I headed back towards the Res Square. It
was going to be a perfect beach day. I enjoyed the cool shade of the
cloisters lining the courtyards, running my finger tips across the smooth
stone of column after column.

The room was still dark when I walked in and Skip was snoring slightly. I
changed into the board shirts and tank top I'd picked out the night before
and double checked the contents of my beach bag. I quietly grabbed a few
waters out of our fridge, and packed them into the bag. I brought one over
to Skip and sat on the corner of his bed. I noticed that the water and
aspirin I'd left him had not been touched.

"Skip." I gently shook his shoulder. He stirred and groaned slightly as he
picked up his head and looked at me through squinted eyes. "How are you
feeling?"

"I think I'm on my death bed."

"If you think this is bad, just wait until your meeting with Timmy later. He
wants to see you in his office today at 2pm."

"Fuck!" Skip moaned.

"I don't think it'll be too terrible. He already took a lot of his
frustration out on me when I suggested that you had definitely learned your
lesson and that he should go easy on you."

"Sorry. I suck."

"You don't suck Skip. We've all been here, more or less... although I cannot
believe you were left out in the hallway."

"Don't remind me."

"Anyways, I'm still going to the beach. You should probably drink some more
and have some more aspirin now."

"Alright." Skip turned and sat up. Dark circles ringed his blood shot eyes,
his lips look chapped, his face a little bloated, and his hair greasy and
wild. I handed him the pills which he downed along with the bottle of water.


"Do you want another?" I asked. "Or some more bread or something?"

"Yeah, okay."

I grabbed Skip another bottle of water and a slice of bread and brought them
over to him.

"I can smell the alcohol coming out of your pores," I said with a laugh.
Skip certainly smelled ripe. "Okay, let me set you an alarm. Is 1:30 okay?"

"Yeah, fine."

"I really wouldn't worry too much about this meeting with Timmy. I don't
think it will be too bad."

"Okay."

"Anything else you want before I leave?" I asked, looking appraisingly at
Skip and around the room.

"No. Thanks." Skip smiled at me feebly, then winced.

"Get some rest. I'll see you later."



* * *

I called Lottie as I pulled into the circular drive and up under the glass
canopy in the front of her building. The girls were down a few minutes
later.

Lottie, sporting large red aviators with leather detailing climbed into the
front seat. Emmie and Nicola argued on the sidewalk outside.

"Hey!" Lottie said brightly.

"Morning," I replied. "What's going on with them?" I asked, nodding towards
Lottie's roommates.

"Nicola had a visitor last night," Lottie said with a smirk. "And Emmie just
found out that Nicola left him in the apartment. She wants her to go kick
him out."

"Oh. It's kind of weird that she would leave him in there alone..."

"Yeah, whatever, we know who he is, so like, if anything went missing it'd
be easy to track him down..." she replied.

"I guess. I just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him unsupervised. What if
he went through your stuff?" I asked, my mind flashing to the files of gay
material that I had hidden away on my hard drive.

She shrugged. Emmie climbed into the back a moment later. Nicola had turned
and was stomping back into the lobby.

"Hey Brae!" Emmie said cheerfully. "It's going to be a few minutes. Nicola
has to run in and take care of something."

"I heard."

"She is ridiculous sometimes!" Emmie rolled her eyes. "But I love her."

"How was practice this morning?" Lottie asked.

"It was pretty rough actually. I got moved up under the head coach and he
laid into me pretty hard."

"Oh we saw your roommate last night! Lottie pointed him out to me," Emmie
said.

"Really?" I looked over at Lottie and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah he was with a group of huge douche bags!" Emmie said.

"He looked extremely out of it," Lottie added.

"We were about to go over and offer to take him home, but then the whole
group of them got kicked out of the bar," Emmie said. "They were being
really obnoxious."

"Skip, much less so than the other guys though," said Lottie.

"Yeah, he looked really uncomfortable."

"Well, I had quite the night taking care of him," I said.

As we waited for Nicola, I filled them in on the events that had transpired
the night before. They were both shocked and disgusted that Drake could
basically leave Skip for dead the way that he had and were extremely
sympathetic about the whole situation.

"I mean we all have those nightmarish `my roommate' stories, but this one is
pretty bad," said Lottie.

"I can't believe you cleaned up all of his puke!" Emmie squealed.

"It was one of the most foul things I've ever had to do in my life. Some kid
down the hall woke up because Skip was having his meltdown, and poked his
head out. Total judgment."

"Whatever, it happens. You're a nice person, Brae. Nicer than I would be in
that situation," Lottie said.

"Clearly a lot more tolerant than me too," Emmie giggled as Nicola emerged
from the building again, dressed in a Missoni patterned bikini with just
jean shorts to cover, dragging a frazzled and disheveled looking man behind
her. She left him at the door without so much as a wave or a word and
stalked over the car, leaving him looking bewildered.

"Hi Braeden," she purred as she climbed into the back.

"Everybody ready to go?" I asked. I got an eager nod from Emmie, upon which
I put the car into gear and eased out of the drive.

"Go left," directed Lottie, the designated navigator.

We made our way out of Carrington and onto the freeway.

"So, I guess this means that he isn't gay after all," Lottie said.

"Yeah..." I replied, hoping I didn't sound too mournful. "Getting a girl
pregnant pretty much rules that out."

"He might be! Maybe he was just too afraid to admit it before! You shouldn't
give up on love!" came Emmie's voice from the backseat.

"Who are we talking about?" Nicola asked.

"Skip." Emmie replied.

"Brae's roommate," Lottie continued.

"Oh, the firecrotch."

I laughed. "Actually he's more of a strawberry blond than a red head. And
the carpet doesn't quite match the drapes."

"Oh really?" Nicola asked, intrigued.

I filled Nicola in on the latest Skip developments, apparently Emmie had
already debriefed both Lottie and Nicola about my interesting morning with
him the day before.

"Yeah," Nicola said, upon conclusion of my story, "don't listen to Emmie. He
is definitely straight."

"I can't believe his family would, like, disown him because his girlfriend
got an abortion!" Emmie said.

"Have you ever been to the bible belt Emmie?" Lottie asked.

"Dallas, to visit Nicola."

"I do not live in the bible belt! Dallas is one of the most liberal cities
in Texas!" Nicola snapped.

"That had to have been so hard for him. I mean who knows how he felt about
the whole thing, and then his parents and his family cast him out?" Lottie
said.

"I mean, I don't know if they cast him out, per se, he didn't say that, but
things definitely seem very strained. I mean, he isn't going back for his
sister's wedding!"

"That is so *sad*," Emmie said.

"People are bigoted idiots," said Nicola.

Emmie sighed. "Yeah..."

"So Brae, are you in mourning of your fictional relationship?" Nicola asked
wryly.

"Nicola!" Emmie snapped. I laughed.

"No, she's right. I totally got ahead of myself on this one. And I knew I
was doing it too. I definitely got what I deserved. Emotional walls going up
right now."

"I mean, there were some signs... I wouldn't beat up on yourself too much,"
Lottie chimed in.

"Yeah!" said Emmie.

"Plus you had Emmie the cheerleader here, pumping you up with false hope,"
Nicola said, giving Emmie a playful nudge.

"Oh, so, tell us about Emmie's secret admirer!" Lottie said excitedly from
the front seat.

"Oh yeah! Tell us!" Emmie said.

"Okay. Well there is this guy on the swim team who has sorta been pestering
me. He's been really overly friendly and I basically pegged him for the
social climber type and have been trying to avoid him. So anyways, yesterday
he came up and started asking me questions about Emmie and how I knew her,
he actually thought that we might be dating! I didn't give him any
information, I just told him he should talk to you."

"Weird..." Lottie muttered.

"He is actually extremely hot. He's from Bronxville. He just kind of rubs me
as sort of snobbish and self centered."

"Oh my god! Emmie! It's Beau Vanderbilt, it's got to be!" Lottie exclaimed.
"It's Beau, isn't it Brae?"

I was startled. "Yeah, uhh, you know him?" Emmie and Lottie groaned. Nicola
snickered.

"Emmie and Beau were set up for a sorority event last year," Nicola
explained. "Like you, she found him insufferably obnoxious."

"That is understatement of the century. First he tried to pretend like we
were old friends from Vail and was telling people that we `wintered
together.' As if.  And he tried to demand a table and bottle service at a
crush party!!" Emmie groaned, massaging her temples.

"What's a crush party?"

Lottie explained. "It's different than a formal or a date party because all
the girls in the house get to invite 2 to 3 people, and they submit their
choices to the social chairs. A general invite on behalf of Kappa goes out,
so the people who were invited don't know who asked them, unless you decide
to tell them. So you can safely ask a crush without them knowing it was
you..."

"Oh."

"Yeah, although, usually we actually invite friends... Crush parties tend to
have more of a group dynamic, as opposed to a date one," Emmie said. "And we
usually rent out a club or a bar for the venue."

Nicola picked up the story. "But your first crush party as a freshman, just
after rush, you get set up by your sisters. And Emmie got set up for this
crush party with Beau."

"It was a disaster," Emmie sighed dramatically.

"Well, he didn't seem to think so... After that we noticed that he started to
kind of awkwardly hover around us whenever we were out. And he always seemed
to be trying to sniff out invitations to Kappa events. He's definitely odd..."
Nicola said.

"I sympathize," I said, making a turn as Lottie instructed. "But I don't
know what he wants with me. He was bothering me before I even knew you
Emmie."

"He was probably assigned to recruit you for his frat," Lottie said
matter-of-factly. "Make a right here. Then follow this road for like a half
mile." I pulled onto a narrow and winding road, surrounded by dense forestry
on both sides.

"What frat? How do they know about me already?"

"Facebook. They have a list of guys they want to aggressively recruit by the
middle of the summer. We do the same thing in Kappa. You are like their wet
dream, Beau was probably assigned to you because of this swimming connection
and he lives pretty close to you," Lottie says.

"Oh. That's pretty creepy. What frat is it?"

"Alpha Delta," Lottie replied.

"Are they good?"

"Alpha Delta and Zeta Upsilon are considered the best. The Alphas are the
status frat. It's repulsive," Nicola replied. "Everyone called Zeta Upsilon
"Zoo" because it's Z-U and, frankly, it's a fit description of their house.
They are chill guys, but there is a bit of a stoner reputation... but they're
known for putting on great events."

"The Alphas are preppy, old-money, New England types and the Zetas are kinda
surfer bum-ish. Pull in here." Emmie indicated to a slight clearing in the
trees where tire marks were indented in the grass. A small lake was visible
through the trees, glittering in the morning sun.

We all grabbed our stuff and climbed out of the car. We passed through a
line of trees, then out onto a strip of pebbly sand that stretched about 50
yards along the south side of the lake. The lake was completely enclosed by
forest, the reflections of shrubbery giving the water a greenish hue. I
kicked off my flip flops as I stepped onto the beach, relishing the feeling
of the hot sand between my toes. 25 yards out from the beach, a heron posed
on a little wooden raft, floating on old barrels.  I leaned my head back,
savoring the feeling of the sun's heat on my face.

"This is incredible. How did you guys ever find out about this place? It
seems totally untouched."

"Carl Franke brought me here last year," Lottie replied. "I told the girls
about it and we used it a lot last spring, we sorta made it into our spot.
Nobody from Carrington really knows about it. Carl has a lake house near
here, so I don't think he's all that anxious for people to find out about
it. It would be a shame if it was overrun by college kids."

"Yeah, definitely," I agreed.



* * *

We spread our towels out on the beach, then, after some intense
deliberation, decided that lying out on the raft would provide optimal sun
exposure. The four of us swam leisurely out to the raft. The girls were all
strong swimmers and Lottie in particular had a very fluid stroke that made
her look as though she floated on top of the water. I remembered her saying
that her brother had been a swimmer for Carrington and she clearly also had
a great aptitude for the sport. Emmie made a big deal about not wanting to
lie directly on the raft, so she swam out with her towel over her head. She
smiled triumphantly when we got out there and found that the raft was
covered with bird poop. We tried rinsing it off, but the sun seemed to have
fused into the grain of the wood. Eventually Lottie, Nicola and I gave in
and swam back in to get our towels.

Finally arranged on our towels, we chatted leisurely and enjoyed the sun's
increasing strength as it climbed into the sky. The slight rocking of the
raft gave me a pleasant light headed feeling, and made me feel weightless.
Occasionally one of us would find the heat too much and would slip into the
water to cool off before reclaiming our spot on the raft. I lay between
Lottie and Emmie, Nicola was on Emmie's far side. Conversation lulled for
awhile and I soon I felt myself drifting casually in and out of
consciousness, exhausted from the morning's trials.

"So Nicola, how was last night?" Emmie chirped, breaking the silence.

I opened my eyes and squinted up at the sky, surprised to see how high the
sun was. We must have been laying out for close to two hours already. My
skin didn't show any signs or getting red but I decided I should probably
flip over onto my stomach just to be safe.

"It was pretty good. I'd give him a 6. Maybe a 7. The oral was painfully
bad, too drooly and for awhile I thought he might be trying to blow razz
berries on my cooter..."

Emmie and Lottie both groaned their disgust.

"But he had a really great dick and was a pretty tremendous fuck. I came
three times. There was a reason I wanted to leave him in that bedroom this
morning."

Emmie groaned again. "It's not a dorm room Nicola. You cannot get away with
that this year! I am not comfortable with guys being left alone in our
apartment! Especially guys that we don't really know all that well. It would
be a whole 'nother story if you were actually dating him."

"Yeah that isn't going to happen. I'd rather attempt conversation with Helen
Keller than with him again. I do think he has 3 or 4 more lays in him though
before I'm tired of him. His dick is just perfect. It's not to long, maybe 7
or 7.5 inches, but pretty thick." She brought the tip of her index finger to
the tip of her thumb to estimate the approximate girth. Emmie smiled and
nodded approvingly, Lottie seemed minimally interested in the conversation.

I took all this in, in silence, surprised by Nicola's blunt and explicit
manner of speaking. I hadn't known her more than a few days yet she didn't
seem to have any reservations about putting it all out there in front of me.
On the other hand, I appreciated that they all felt comfortable enough to
speak this openly with each other and that there wasn't any fear of judgment
or rapprochement.

"I want a boyfriend!" Emmie whined.

"Emmie, you had a boyfriend all of two weeks ago!" Lottie chuckled.

"Exactly, it's hard to go from sex regularly to nothing!"

"Emmie doesn't ever hookup," Lottie said, for my benefit.

"What about Beau Vanderbilt?" Nicola teased. "Wait, did you sleep with him?"

"No!!"

"Well you could."

"Then she would never be rid of him!" Lottie chimed in. "You give a person
like Beau an in and good luck! He is like a parasite!"

"He *is* hot," Nicola countered.

"Still not worth it," Lottie said.

"Brae?" Emmie asked. "Do you have an opinion?"

"Well...," I said, surprised that Emmie was soliciting my opinion. "He's
definitely hot, but I think I have to side with Lottie. He's pretty
intolerable and I don't think you can rely on him to be discrete. I could
very easily see him using you as his calling card..."

"-to climb the social ladder. Totally." Lottie finished.

"When does Carl get back, Lottie?" Emmie asked.

"I don't know. I haven't spoken to him in awhile."

"I heard he won't be back until classes start, so like another week and a
half," I chipped in. "At least that's the word at the pool."

"Is that going to continue?" Emmie asked.

"I doubt it."

"But that was the best sex ever!" Nicola said, sitting up.

"Yeah. It was. But he probably has Olympic groupies now and I do not want a
piece of whatever he is probably carrying now."

"Eww!" Emmie cried.

"I hadn't though of that," Nicola said, reflectively. "That is a really good
point."

"Yeah. I'm content to say I tapped that back in the day and keep my lady
parts clean," Lottie joked.

"So Brae, any new prospects now that the Skipper is out of the running?"
Nicola asked.

"No. The swim team isn't exactly ripe pickings. And I guess I've learned my
lesson the hard way about running after straight boys."

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Nicola asked.

"No. There was this kid that I guess I was kind of hooking up with for
awhile, but we didn't take it very far."

Lottie smiled. "Hampton's boy?"

"Yeah. Rhett."

"Ooh, great name! I'm really into that!" Emmie said.

"His last name is Gable. His mom has a bizarre *Gone With the
Wind*obsession. She's a soap actress and kinda eccentric."

"OMG! Grace Gable from *Passion Point*?!" Emmie yelled.

"Yeah."

"I LOVE HER!! I cannot believe you know her!"

"She lives next door to me in the Hamptons."

"That is so cool! Ginger Heart, that's the character she plays, is my *
favorite*! Oh my god! I cannot believe you know her!"

"We got that Emmie. Head between your knees babe," Nicola said, amusement
painted all over her face. "So how did things start between you and Rhett?"

"Well, like I said we're neighbors, so we've basically grown up playing
together in the summers and stuff..."

"Wait! What does he look like? I need to picture him," Emmie interrupted.

"Sorta like me, actually..." I laughed. "People in town used to mistake us
for brothers. He's blond, his hair is a little lighter than mine, so are his
eyes, they're a really pale blue, sorta icy. His face is really handsome,
thin but chiseled, sort of like an Abercrombie model."

"Mmm, he sounds yummy," Emmie giggled.

"Get to the good stuff!" Nicola exclaimed, sounding a bit exasperated.

"Okay, well, we used to play manhunt with a few of the other kids who lived
around us."

"What's that?" Lottie asked.

"It's basically hide and go seek tag, with teams. We'd play outside at night
on my property and Rhett's. Rhett and I always insisted on being on the same
team, and we used to go looking for new hiding spots together during the
day."

"Cheaters!" Lottie quipped.

"We were not cheaters, we were just well prepared... Anyways, we found this
great spot, it was a hollow bush in his yard that was right up against the
wall between our properties. It was pretty tight but you could fit two
people in it. So we were hiding in there one night, we were both just in
boardshorts, and I was kind of pressed up against the wall and he was sort
of spooned up into me, and all of a sudden I just felt extremely conscious
of how close we were."

"And you got wood?" Nicola asked.

"Yeah... And of course I was mortified, because it was more or less pressed
against his ass... so I'm more or less dying... I mean, like, sweating with
panic and then he reached around and grabbed it." I said, remembering the
smooth feeling of his back pressed against me and the rough wall behind me,
the soft and tentative way his fingers enclosed around my member, the sound
of our ragged breathing as he slowly stroked me, and the hopeful and
terrified look in his eyes as he rolled around to face me. "Then he turned
around and started kissing me and all of a sudden we were grabbing and
groping each other in this bush, making out like crazy..."

"And then?" Emmie asked eagerly.

"And then we were caught actually."

"Caught?!" Lottie exclaimed.

"In the game. It was too dark I think for Scott, the guy who found us, to
figure out exactly what was going on," I said, remembering the feeling of
panic Rhett and I had experienced when we first heard Scott approaching and
our joint mortification at having to trudge out of our hiding spot to the
designated jail, erections at full mast. We had stood on the porch of my
pool house (the designated jail area) whispering out relief to each other
that nobody seemed to have noticed our delicate state in the bushes. "So,
after that we started hooking up pretty regularly. This happened the summer
after my junior year, his sophomore year, and it carried on this summer,
although I wasn't in the Hamptons much because of my training schedule."

"So, how was the sex?" Nicola asked lasciviously.

"We haven't had sex."

"What?"

"No sex."

"Oral counts, "Emmie said matter-of-factly.

"No oral."

"What so you've survived up until now on mutual masturbation and some heavy
petting?" Nicola asked, incredulous.

"Uhh, yeah."

"Is that a joke?!"

"Nicola, back off," Lottie said.

"No, it's okay. He wanted to do more, but I didn't. I knew I wasn't in love
with him..." Nicola snorted. "And, honestly, I was afraid. Not just of doing
it, but of the ramifications of doing it, and of what would happen if he
told someone or if it ever came out somehow. Or what would happen if he came
out as gay... I thought that would potentially incriminate me, so I never
wanted to get too close to him. I guess I always figured that I could just
explain away what had happened between us if I had to. I thought that the
fact we hadn't gone further proved something, well, I knew it didn't, I mean
I knew I was gay, but I thought it might prove something to others...If that
makes sense."

Lottie put a reassuring hand on mine. "That makes total sense. And I'm so
glad that you're comfortable to talk about this stuff now, even if it is
just with us."

"Oh! I've been sniffed out again!"

Lottie raised an eyebrow.

"My friend Kenner, from the team, he confronted me about it. Well not really
confronted, but he gave me the opportunity to come out to him and I did. He
has a gay brother, so I feel like he has an idea of what I'm going through.
It was really great to talk to him and I'm relieved to feel like I have an
ally on the team now."

"Brae, I'm sure you have more allies on the team than you are even aware
of," Lottie said.

"Yeah, I don't know about that... I still don't know what Skip's going to do
when he finds out. But, anyways, it's good to have someone else who knows.
And Kenner is a really great guy, he is so sharp and funny, and he really
has his priorities straight.

"Any possibility there?" Emmie asked.

"With Kenner? No he is definitely 100% straight."

"Great! Because he sounds wonderful! You need to introduce me!" she laughed.


"I don't know if he's your style Emmie... he isn't exactly a looker."

"Braden Davenport! Are you insinuating that I'm superficial?!"

"No?! You?!" Nicola scoffed sarcastically.

I was flustered. "No, uhh, I just, I just meant that you could do better,
because you're, well, gorgeous."

"Oh," she perked up. "Forgiven."

"Emmie actually has a bit of a weakness for the sensitive nerd type... When
she decides to venture away from the worldly male models," Lottie said with
a wink.

"I can introduce you, if you want," I said.

"No, it's okay, I would never date anyone younger than me," Emmie replied.
"But you keep your eyes open for me. There must be another promising guy on
that team of yours."

"Actually do you know a guy named Colin? He's living with Carl Franke this
year. He's a senior."

"No!"

"I think I do," Lottie chimed in. "I think Carl has introduced us. He like
doesn't go out though."

"Yeah, he majors in engineering, so I wouldn't be that surprised... But he is
so friendly, he has a great sense of humor, a bit of that nerd factor that
you apparently love, and he is gorgeous!"

"Which one is he? I'm sure I've noticed him at the pool!"

"Emmie, when is the last time you actually looked at the pool during one of
your shifts?" Nicola asked.

"I always watch during swim meets and water polo tournaments. Eye candy."

"She dresses up for them," Lottie said.

"Whatever, I pride myself on looking my best!" I laughed. "So what does he
look like?"

"He's tall, obviously, he has dark brown hair, it's wavy but short and
pretty preppy. He has blue eyes, really pretty lips, and a cute dimple right
on the tip of his nose."

"Hey, don't go getting any about my boyfriend!" Emmie said with a laugh. "He
sounds beautiful. You hafta point him out to me. I'm working tomorrow
morning."

"Okay," I said cheerfully, enjoying playing matchmaker.

"You guys want to head in for some lunch?" Lottie asked.

"Yeah, I'm starving!" Nicola said jumping up to her feet. She poked her
taught and impossibly tiny abdomen. "I don't think I've gotten any color,"
she groaned.

"I'm sure you have," Emmie said whilst climbing to her feet.



* * *

The group of swam in and lunched on the assortment of snack food that we'd
brought, talking idly about predictions for the year. I told them about my
meeting with my academic advisor that afternoon and they seemed to approve
of the classes that I was thinking of taking. In fact, Nicola was already
registered for the British literature course that I wanted to take, and
Emmie and Lottie said they would look into the Hitchcock course. Emmie was
dead set on us having a class together.

After lunch we played around with a beach ball that Lottie had brought along
and then headed back out to the raft to catch some more rays. Nicola started
talking about her horses. She was on the club equestrian team and had
competed at a fairly high level in high school. She had a horse, Lisey, a
black thoroughbred filly, at school with her in stables just outside
Carrington, as well as a number of other horses at home in Dallas. While
Nicola had a tendency to come off as a little abrasive when dealing with her
peers, her sensitive nature came out when she spoke about Lisey and her
other horses, and I was surprised to see this other side of her. Eventually
it was time to pack it in. We gathered up our stuff and packed back into the
car.



* * *

Back in Carrington, I dropped the girls off at their apartment and then
headed towards the student lot. It was just after 2:30pm when I got back to
the dorm, so I decided to drop by the dining hall to grab a snack, before
heading back to the room. Skip wasn't there when I got back, which I took as
a good sign. I hoped that he had been on time to his meeting with Timmy. `Oh
crap! And his meeting with the academic advisor!' I thought, kicking myself
for not having reminded him. Not that it was my responsibility, still, I
felt protective of Skip, especially now that I had a better idea of what he
was going through.



* * *

I jogged over to the Gnat, changed quickly, then headed out on deck. Skip
was already warming up on the mats so I went over and grabbed a spot by him.


"So how did it go?"

"Fine. How was the beach?"

"Fine? How fine? Are you being reprimanded or punished?"

"No, just a warning. And I think he's going to have Jimmy ride me pretty
hard today."

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. Oh! Did you make it to your meeting with
your advisor this afternoon? I totally forgot about that. I'm sorry I didn't
remind you."

"Yeah. I made it."

"Oh good. So you're all registered and everything? How's the new computer?"

"Yeah. I haven't turned it on yet. I left the box in Timmy's office."

"Were you able to get all the classes you wanted?"

"No, there weren't any openings in the Hitchcock class. I'm taking one about
plants instead."

"Oh, damn, I guess I'm going to need to find a new fourth class then."

"Yeah, guess so."

"So... are you going to be around tonight? I feel like we should probably
talk..." I said, awkwardly.

"Yeah, I don't think I'll be going out again for awhile" Skip chuckled. "Hey
Drake!"

Drake swaggered over with a smug smile on his face. "Hey Skipper, so I'm
allowed to talk to you again?" I cringed. This was not going to go well.

"What?" Confusion was etched all over Skip's face.

"Uhh, Skip, look it's a long story," I said, trying to stifle the sparks
before I had a conflagration on my hands.

"Your roomie here told me to stay away from you."

"You did WHAT?!"

"Look, Skip, I'm sorry, I was upset-"

"Who the hell do you think you are? You are not my parent. You don't get to
dictate my life!" Skip's voice was rising and we were getting curious
glances from some of the other guys around us.

"Well Davvy?" Drake gave me a malicious smirk.

"*You* do not get to call me Davvy. And you need to butt the fuck out!" I
snapped.

Drake reacted as though ducking a punch. He was clearly aware of the
audience and was playing this encounter up for show. I did not want to be
part of his performance.

"Woah! Temper!" Drake exclaimed melodramatically.

"Look, we can discuss this later," I said to Skip. "I don't feel like
hashing this out in front of everybody."

"What's the matter Davvy? Scared?" Drake taunted.

      I ignored him. "We'll talk later," I said to Skip.

      "Woah, you don't own him. Free will, right Skippy?"

      "Drake stop giving him the wind up, you are so fucking manipulative,"
I snapped.

      Drake snorted. Skip looked torn and uncomfortable.

      "I spent two hours cleaning up your vomit last night and endured the
wrath of Timmy for you. There is no free will. You will be there." With
that, I got up and stalked away from them, grabbing a spot on the mat next
to Colin.

      "Roommate drama?" he said.

      "Yeah. I'm trying to rise above."

      "That Drake kid is a royal douche bag."

      "Thank you!"

      "But there really isn't anything you can say to get your friend to
realize that. He'll figure it out on his own soon enough."

      "Yeah, if he doesn't die of alcohol poisoning before then... I found
him passed out in the hallway last night, in a puddle of his own vomit."

      "Eww!" Colin's face cringed in disgust.

      "He's lucky he didn't choke on his own puke," I said.

      "He'll get it together. He's a good kid."

      "Yeah."

      Jimmy ran us through some stretches, then brought us up to the weight
room. Colin and I spotted for each other, and the more time I spent with
him, the more I thought he and Emmie would make a really good couple. There
was something solid and reassuring about Colin. He was the serious sort and
yet he had a great sense of humor and a good perspective on life.
Conversation still felt a little bit forced, but there was more there than
I'd initially thought. Colin really did have the potential to be a good
friend.

We traded more personal information between sets. Colin was from just
outside Orlando, near Rollins College, where his father was a professor of
civil engineering. He was the youngest of four kids (and the only boy), all
of whom had attended Carrington, and his mother had died of skin cancer when
he was six. That was around the time he'd gotten into swimming, his dad
wanted him to have something to keep his mind off of everything else that
was going on. His father had never remarried, but, thanks to his sisters,
he's never felt as though there was a lack of feminine influence in his
life. Colin was planning to go for his masters in mechanical engineering and
was hoping to do it at Carrington, or Rollins if he couldn't get in here. He
eventually wanted to work in consulting and to live in Manhattan, where two
of his sisters had already settled. Family was important to him and he
wanted to be close to his niece and two nephews as they grew up. We ended up
discussing New York real estate and neighborhoods. He was interested in
living somewhere in Brooklyn, possibly The Edge, and I did my best to
dissuade him from subjecting himself to such an irritating commute. He made
no mention of a girlfriend, but I was afraid to just assume that he was
single.

As we wrapped up our time in the weight room and started back for the pool I
decided to bite the bullet and ask him.

"So do you have a girlfriend right now?"

"No. I don't really have a lot of free time. And to be honest, between
swimming and engineering I kind of have a hard time getting out and meeting
people."

"That's understandable. I'm sure your work load is pretty ridiculous."

"Yeah, this year should be better but the last few have been rough. Carl has
tried to fix me up a few times, but nothing has really clicked."

"I get it."

"Plus, I've always felt like my priority was school. My dad is spending a
lot of money. And I'm here to do a job."

"That's true. But all work and no play does not a well rounded person make."

Colin laughed. "I take it you've got a set-up in mind for me."

I smirked. "How perceptive of you. I have a possibility in the works. Are
you receptive to that?"

"Yeah, of course. You gotta put yourself out there. And I trust you are a
man of discerning taste."

I flashed him a smile. "I try to be," I said, putting on my goggles and
jumping into the crisp and refreshing pool. Eric jumped in beside me a
second later.

"I hate when we first get in, and the top of the pool is like 20 degrees
warmer from the sunlight," he said. "It makes me feel like I'm swimming in
pee." We laughed.

"It gets all stirred up by the time we've done a lap," I said.

"It's still gross!" Eric grinned. Henry jumped in beside us and immediately
started off down the pool.

"Look, he's stirred it all up for you. Get going," I said with a laugh.



* * *

The workout was light and pretty relaxed and Timmy seemed to have calmed
down from that morning. I was proud at having been the first freshmen
promoted to Timmy's practice group. I rushed out of the facility after
practice, not bothering to shower, so that I could get to my advising
meeting on time.

The advising offices were in South Square, so I hustled over there, but
still ended up being a few minutes late because it took me a while to
navigate the maze of offices and corridors. My advisor, Ms. Baker, was an
enthusiastic woman in her late 20's, who seemed dedicated to helping
students identify and pursue their passions. She was extremely impressed
that I not only had my majors selected, but that I also had picked out the
classes I needed/wanted in advance. This Hitchcock class was full so she put
me on the wait list and we decided on a public speaking course that would
count towards my communications studies major. She gave me her card and told
me to contact her with any questions I had. I felt optimistic about my
academic future as I left her office.

Cameron was waiting in the hallway as I exited Ms. Baker's office. He looked
up from his seat on the bench and smiled broadly. "Hey Braeden!"

"Hey Cam! How's it going?"

"Good. Congrats on getting moved up today."

"Oh," I felt a blush rising to my cheeks. "Thanks. I think Timmy just wanted
to teach me a lesson after all that Skip stuff."

"Buddy, you earned it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise," he said,
getting up and clapping a hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks Cam. Anyways, I think she's ready for you. Good luck."

"How bad is it?" he asked, with mock terror on his face.

Taking a cue from his play book, I faked a traumatized shudder. "There are
no words," I muttered dramatically. He laughed. "See ya later Cam!"

"Bye."

As I strolled back to the dorm, I mentally prepped myself for my
conversation with Skip. Now that I understood some of the stresses he was
under his behavior made more sense, yet I was confused and hurt as to why he
would choose Drake over me. A nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach told
me that I was the creator and perpetuator of the `him or me' situation.
Maybe we could just all be friends? I let myself into the dorm and climbed
up the stairs to our room. The second I stepped onto the floor I heard noise
emanating from our room and I groaned inwardly.



* * *

Skip, Drake, Finch, and another boy from the team, Brian, were playing Wii
when I let myself into the room. I was seething. It felt like a violation
having Drake in my personal space, using my things. I was glad my computer
had been off, because I wouldn't have put it past him to go through it.

"Hey," I said, avoiding looking at any of them. I could still feel Drake's
triumphant glare burning into my back. I went to the dresser and grabbed a
change of clothes. "I'm going to shower," I announced. "We're talking when
I'm finished. And we will be talking about Holly, so you may want your
friends to go."

I felt guilty for resorting to blackmail, but Skip wasn't playing fair
either. Bringing Drake to our room had been a dirty tactic. I took a long
shower, allowing the hot water to soothe my tired muscles. God I was
exhausted. I remembered halfway through that I probably should have cleaned
the shower with bleach or something after Skip's episode the night before. I
toweled off and dressed inside the bathroom then emerged back into the room.
Drake, Finch and Brian had left and Skip was lying on his bed.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," he said guiltily. "Sorry, Drake just kinda invited himself over, I
couldn't get rid of him. He obviously was hoping to rile `ya up."

"Well, mission accomplished. Do you want to order a pizza or something?"

"Sure."

I looked up the number for the Italian place in town and quickly phoned in
an order.

"Half an hour," I said hanging up the phone. I walked over to Skip and took
a seat on the end of his bed. "Okay. So what's going on?" I asked,

"I dunno," he replied sheepishly, pulling his gaze away from mine.

"Look Skip, I value your friendship. Two days ago we were the best of
friends and now it kind of seems like something is off. I know you have a
lot going on right now, but I just don't get it."

Skip didn't reply.

"Look, I don't want to tell you who to be friends with," I said recalling
Skip's outburst at practice. He seemed to recall it also and he blushed
slightly.

"Yeah, uhh, sorry bout that. I guess I over reacted a bit. Drake's just said
some things that kinda, I dunno, confused me, a bit."

"Yeah, I sort of gathered that," I said. "He clearly has it in for me for
whatever reason, but, more importantly, I don't think he has your best
interests at heart."

Skip was quiet. He looked self reflective and a little confused. I began to
get frustrated that he wasn't grasping how toxic a person Drake was. I
wanted to grab him and scream at him, but I tried to maintain a calm and
rational facade.

"Skip, you could have died last night. I found you outside in the hall lying
in a puddle of your own vomit, puking. You're *lucky* you didn't choke!! I
could literally kill Drake when I think that he fucking left you like
that... I spent two hours cleaning you up and trying to get food and water
into you."

"It was that bad?"

"Yeah. I almost called an ambulance. I couldn't wake you up so I had to
carry you to the bathroom and put you in the shower. And then you puked
again, all over yourself. After that I was able to get food and water into
you, but I kept you awake for like two hours just in case. You really scared
me."

Skip groaned. "I'm really sorry you had to deal with me like that."

"Its fine, I'm just glad you're okay. I just think that you should know that
Drake isn't someone that genuinely cares about you."

"Yeah."

"And whatever he may have said to you about me Skip, I really do care about
you a lot. And I'm not trying to buy your affections or your friendship. I
don't think that I own you or anything like that."

"Yeah, I guess I knew that. Just somethin' about the way Drake said that
stuff made it seem possible. Or, at least... at least, it made it seem like
other people might think that. That I was leeching off you or somethin'."

"Skip, nobody thinks that. Drake is just totally playing mind games."

"You make him sound sociopathic," Skip said with a smirk.

"Look, I don't want you to think that I'm telling you not to be friends with
him. That is your prerogative. And this isn't an either-or situation, and
I'm sorry if I made it seem that way. You can be friends with both of us. I
just hope that you would take anything that he might say about me with a
grain of salt, seeing as he clearly has it in for me. And I also just hope
that you would take steps to protect yourself... I can't get over last night
and how badly things might have turned out."

"Yeah. I appreciate that. And I'm sorry about how I've been acting."

"I understand and I know that you're under a lot of stress and stuff..." I
paused, nervously for a moment and then tentatively continued. "Umm, you
told me about Holly, and, uhh, everything... last night."

Skip shifted uncomfortably and began playing with the draw string on his
mesh shorts. "Oh. I did?"

"Yeah. Can we talk about that a little bit?"

"Do we hafta?" his voice was almost a whisper and there were tears in his
eyes.

"I think we'd better. You were pretty upset about it last night."

"Yeah, it was just about a year ago," Skip said. "At the time I didn't want
to admit how much it affected me. But it did. I mean, I know it was the
right decision, but it still hurts, ya know? An' I guess I feel like
admitting that sorta proves everyone else right and suggests that I think it
was a mistake."

"Skip, you're one of the most caring people I've ever met, it's only natural
that you would be affected by this. Anybody would."

"Yeah, it's just, after everything I went through with it, everything I
lost, an' suffered, an' just how hard I defended Holly an' myself, it's like
I never really admitted to myself how hard it was."

"Yeah. Have you talked to anyone else about this? Do you and Holly still
talk?"

"Nah. Her parents sent her away to a reform school after it happened. She's
in college now, which is what she wanted, an' what she deserved, I'm really
happy for her."

"You could always get in touch with her now."

"Yeah, I dunno what difference it would make."

"It might help you to talk about how you're feeling. Release some of your
grief and your anger. Help you move on with your life.

"It's hard to believe I could have a 6-month-old baby right now. I could be
a dad. Thank god I'm not! But, I wanna be eventually, and, I dunno, it just
hurts..." Skip said, tears were beginning to roll down his cheeks. "I guess
now that I'm here, an' I'm not fighting off my family everyday, it's started
to sink in for me."

"Yeah, I understand what you're saying and I think that the way you're
feeling is really natural. You've experienced a loss and you haven't really
grieved. Have you thought about speaking to someone about this? You know the
university has free counseling services that you could use."

"A shrink?" Skip asked, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"Well, I think they are just counselors, not psychiatrists. But they might
be able to help you talk out your pain and frustration and learn how to
channel those emotions positively."

"Yeah, I guess."

"I mean, I am always here for you and I will listen to you anytime you want,
but I'm just worried that I'm not always going to know the right thing to
say-"

"-You always seem to know the right things to say," Skip smiled through his
tears, and reached his hand out to grasp mine on the bed. "Thanks Brae. I've
been such a mess. I'm glad I told you."

"I'm glad you told me also. I had a feeling you were holding something back
from me, and I obviously felt like there was something odd with your family
situation, but I couldn't figure out what it was. How did your parents find
out about it?"

"Somebody saw us going into the clinic, even though the place we went wasn't
even in our county, and they called Holly's parents and then Holly's mom
called my mom, and suddenly it seemed like everybody knew about it, and then
Holly was just gone. The kids at school were pretty terrible to me also, I
was really excited to have a completely fresh slate when I got here."

"And none of your siblings stuck up for you?"

"No, I mean, Scotty, Mary and Nate are all too young to really know what's
going on, they just know that I'm `evil.' And the rest of them, Sarah,
Tommy, and Karen, well... it just goes against how we were raised. They don't
agree with it. They all pretty much think that it is unforgiveable."

"How did you live at home through all of this?"

"Well, I basically moved into the loft in one of our barns. I grabbed my
meals when I could take them and didn't eat with the family. I generally
just tried to avoid everyone. Swimming kept me pretty busy and my dad still
expected me to do farm work. It was pretty miserable, but I got through it."

"It just sucks that you grew up somewhere where there is so little
understanding about the issue. In New York, as terrible as this is to say,
it would have kinda been a non-issue."

"It's just hard. And there is just so much going on right now with leaving
home and starting college. And then I have Drake, and whoever, putting stuff
in my head and it's all a little much."

"Yeah. I think it would really help you to talk to someone that can give you
more constructive advice than I can."

"Yeah, I'll look into that. I don't love the idea of it, but I guess you do
what ya gotta do..."

My phone rang, interrupting our conversation.

"Oh, I think it's the pizza. I probably have to go down and meet them."

I ran down to the front and got the pizza. Sensing that Skip could use a
break, I steered conversation towards more light hearted topics while we
ate. Skip was a lot more forthcoming about his family and was willing to
talk about of a lot of his funny stories from growing up on the farm. Things
returned to a sort of normalcy and I was glad that we felt comfortable
around each other again. After dinner we played Wii for awhile, then Skip
wanted to set up his new laptop, so I left him to that and decided to do
some pleasure reading while I still had the time. Skip was ready for bed
around 8:30pm, exhausted from the previous evening. I read a little longer
then decided I may as well turn in for an early night.



* * *

I thought over Skip's situation as I lay in bed, awaiting sleep. It was
clear that he was in a lot of pain, more than he probably even realized. I
couldn't believe how his family had just turned on him and honestly it made
me a little nervous about how my parents might react when they eventually
found out about me. I wanted to think that my parents were more worldly and
open-minded, but one can never really know how anyone is going to react. It
broke my heart to think that Skip had been carrying this burden alone for so
long with nobody to talk to, I could certainly sympathize with a lot of
those feelings. I wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with him and to
hold him in my arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay, which
of course was indicative of a whole other set of problems.

Now that I knew that there would never be anything between Skip and me, how
did I divorce myself from the feelings that I had for him? I was realistic
enough to know that the world doesn't work like erotic fiction and that Skip
wasn't going to reach a magical epiphany and decide to change his
orientation for me. I wasn't going to pine away for the straight guy. The
whole incident was painful and a little embarrassing and I couldn't believe
that I'd let it happen, in spite of my better judgment. I'd known I was
being rash with my emotions and, as much as I told myself I was being
careful, the truth was I'd quickly fallen head over heels for Skip. Now I
had to deal with the consequences of my mistake. As I fell asleep, I
resolved not to be so foolhardy in the future and to focus on my swimming
rather than fictional romances that were clearly fabricated by my
imagination.



* * *


Thanks for reading everyone. And special thanks to Randy and Frank for
editing! Look for the next chapter soon!


Copyright 2009 keiren.connors@gmail.com