Date: Wed, 12 May 2004 09:23:01 -0700
From: Steve Thomas <s4d@hotmail.com>
Subject: Coles Dreams - Chapter 1

This story will start out in a college setting, but no promises where it
will go from there.

Chapter 1

Cole Alexander Stephanson IV 's name belied his station in life. He
wasn't rich. And he really didn't care much about being rich, except
that people thought he should be. But then people thought there was a
lot about him that should be -- or shouldn't be, as the case may be.
But he didn't live his life according to what most other people
thought. He mostly lived it according to what his mother thought.

Cole was a junior at UCLA, fall semester. He had finished his first two
years at Cerritos Jr. College, completing all the lower education he
didn't get in high school, plus the English and social studies courses
that he could, and get credit for them transferred to the university.

Cole lived all his life in the same city, not too far from Cerritos,
Downey. He knew everyone at Downey High, about half of the people at
Warren High on the other side of the city, and another bunch at Pope Pius
IV Catholic High School. And they all knew him.

He felt some degree of freedom when he went to Cerritos, because there,
he was not so well known. He truly didn't care about wealth, but he
never quite attained the popularity he felt he wanted. He was well
known, because he tried hard to be popular up until the 11th grade. But
Downey was a rich city, especially the area he lived near, and to be
popular, one needed to have all the trappings of the rich.

In the 12th grade, he made a conscious decision to STOP trying so hard to
be popular. It was the most enjoyable year he had! All those years, he
had a girlfriend. Well, actually many, but one at a time. In his senior
year, he played the field, dating e different girl every week. He liked
that. That felt a lot freer to him. He really loved dating, and since
he was extremely handsome, getting a date was not much of a challenge.

In 11th grade, he met one girl, Edie, in his English class, when she
purposely got behind in her poetry recitation so she could stay after
school and recite poetry with him.

"I'm nobody, who are you? Are you nobody too? Don't tell, they'd
banish us you know!" was the poem that endeared Cole to Edie.

Edie was the first girl he ever thought he'd like to take into his bed
- - but that didn't happen. He broke up with her at an annual signing
party, a week before school was out, five months after they started
dating. She was devastated. And really, so was he. It broke his heart
to hurt someone that way. He entered his senior year of high school a
virgin. He wasn't all that upset about that.

In his senior year, he joined the Youth for Christ Club. Well, it was
actually called YFC, because it was not legal to have a campus sponsored
club with that name. but everyone knew that's what it was. Cole had
one girl that he went to most of the dances with, Michelle, from 9th thru
12 grade. So when it came time for Prom, he asked Michelle. The school
dances would not have been complete without Cole and Michelle doing at
least one of their exhibition dances for everyone.

He also went to the Warren High prom, with Barbi, a girl he met at the
Baptist church that most of the kids at YFC went to. Cole really liked
the feeling he got at Downey First Baptist Church. At one of the big YFC
rallies in Los Angeles in the Angeles Temple, a foursquare church, he
even "went down" when the familiar invitation came from the minister
for newly believing sinners to come down to the altar and confess their
sins and give their life to Christ. He became a born-again Christian.

He also was accepted into the Baptist Youth Choir, at Downey First
Baptist. He had a beautiful, strong singing voice and had an incredible
range.

When he was strongly thinking of joining the Baptist Church, Cole's mom
decided that drastic measures were called for. Cole always wanted a
piano. She told him she would buy him one if he didn't join that
church. It was an easy decision for him. He chose the piano!

When he thought about it more constructively, he realized that the core
beliefs of the Baptists were mostly the same as the Presbyterians, where
he was already a member. But the Baptists didn't drink or dance -- or
weren't supposed to. The drinking thing was not a problem for Cole. He
didn't like it anyway. But the dancing thing he decided he couldn't
handle. He loved to dance, and a thorough search of the scriptures
showed him no evidence that God didn't want him to dance. Or drink for
that matter.

So Cole remained a Presbyterian. He never stopped going to the
Presbyterian church. He was a staunch member of the adult choir there
since he was 14 years old. Their meetings were Sunday mornings. The
Baptists met on Sunday night. He did stop going there, and dropped out
of the Baptist Youth choir, but kept up his activity in YFC at school.
When he chose not to join the Baptist Church, Barbi dropped him like a
hot potato.

Cole saw Edie now and then during their senior year at Downey High, but
were not close. At graduation, she sought him out to say good bye. When
she found him, he was talking to another girl that he had sought out.
Graduations were an ending of sorts, but more than that, they were a
beginning.

"Carolyn," Cole said, "I need to tell you something." Carolyn
turned, surprised that Cole was even talking to her. They had not had a
conversation since he moved into her school district in 4th grade. Cole
was a very tender hearted boy and then youth, but in the 5th grade he had
done something that had been a canker in his soul and a thorn in his side
for all those years. "Carolyn, before we walk away, never to see each
other again, I just had to apologize to you."

"Apologize? Whatever for?" She asked, her eyebrows arching high above
her thick glasses.

"In 5th grade, I called you cross-eyed. That has always bothered me.
It was unkind and I'm sorry." He almost choked, speaking around the
huge lump in his throat.

Carolyn's eyes sparkled as she answered him, "So? I WAS cross-eyed.
But you're right -- it was unkind. But do you think I remembered that?
All the boys called me cross-eyed back then. Some still do! I just
can't believe you carried that with you all these years. Thank you for
coming and telling me that. It means more than you can know." She
smiled widely, and turned from him to her friends.

Cole felt humiliated, but free of a burden that had weighed him down --
even if just a little -- for eight years. As he turned to go, there was
Edie, standing in front of him, looking just a little worried, but trying
to smile.

"OH!" Cole said, as he almost ran over her. "Hi!"

"Hi, Cole. Remember me?"

"I could never forget you, Edie."

Her smile widened and she nervously said, "I don't think you thought
much about me this year."

"HAH! I couldn't miss you the night you almost ran me over in the
parking lot after the football game! Glad you missed me there!"

"Oh! You noticed that? You walked away as if it didn't happen -- and
it seemed like you didn't even see me." Her voice was trembling now,
and he wondered if she was going to start crying, but her eyes were bone
dry.

"Edie -- I -- must have been with friends or some - "

"It's okay, Cole. You WERE with friends. Ralph and Stefan, if I
remember it right."

"You remember that?" Cole said, more emphatic than he wanted.

"I remember a lot, Cole, but that's not why I came to see you. I came
to say good bye." She walked slowly toward him. He took her in his
arms and looked her in the eyes. He then kissed her on the lips. His
eyes closed. He was reminded of almost a year ago -- the last time their
lips had met. He felt a familiar twinge in his lower parts. When he
opened his eyes, she was staring dreamily into them."

"I -- er -- um -- well!" Cole said. "Thanks for coming -- to -- um
-- say goodbye. I hope you have a great life -- I mean -- where are you
going anyway?"

"I won't be far away. I've been accepted -- a full scholarship --
into a 3 year nursing program at County General. I will be living in a
dorm there. Good bye, Cole."

"Good bye seems too long. Let's just say `farewell' for now." It
came out of his mouth before he could stop it. It was what he often said
to her when she said goodbye. He again pecked her on the mouth and
almost ran away, turning to wave one last time, and the image of Edie
standing there, still slightly open-mouthed, looking like she was in a
trance embedded itself in his mind.

That night he crossed paths with her twice at the all night party at the
"Wonder Bowl". The high school had bought the place out for this
night. The kids at Warren got to go to Disneyland. The Downey kids soon
learned how fortunate they were to all be at the Wonder Bowl. Well, at
least Cole found out that his friends at Warren high hardly saw each
other at all the whole night, in that huge place, with so many other
schools doing the same thing.

Dave sat there, in the Wonder Bowl pool room, looking at the floor. It
was nearing 3:30 in the morning. Cole never knew Dave very well, but he
always wanted to. "Well," he told himself, "if not now, when?"

"Dave! You okay?" Dave looked up at Cole and shrugged. "What's
going on buddy? Wanna talk?"

Dave's eyes welled up, abut somehow he kept them from running down his
cheeks. He quickly looked back down. "Hey, follow me, Dave." Cole
said gently. Cole had a way about him that people trusted him. This
wasn't the first guy -- or girl for that matter - who had confided in
him, having never really known him well.

Dave followed Cole outside. Cole could tell that Dave didn't really
want to talk about it so he said, "Let's go for a ride." Dave
followed Cole over to Cole's parents' station wagon and got in the
front seat.

Cole drove in silence the 30 miles to Newport beach. He wondered what
Dave was thinking. No words were exchanged -- at all. Deep down Cole
wondered if by any chance at all Dave was feeling the same stirrings down
below that Cole was feeling. It wasn't something he even verbalized in
his mind. It was just a familiar feeling he got when he was alone with
some guys.

When they got to the beach, it was after 4:00 AM in the morning. Even
though it was southern California, it was cool this time of the morning
at the beach. The sand felt cold between their toes as they got out and
walked down the beach a ways. Then they got back into the car and headed
home.

"Thanks for letting me just think, Cole. Most guys would have gotten
nervous and jabbered the whole way. You have no idea how I appreciate
you doing this for me."

They got back to the party in time for breakfast. Cole never saw Dave
again -- ever. But he remembered the feeling he got. It was not all
that different from the feelings he got when he was befriended by two
different "tough guys" that needed compassion. He became their good
friend for a short time, and a casual friend ever after with both Mickey
and Gary, who both had rich parents and both ended up going to prison
sometime after high school.

But Cole was reminded of the feeling he got when guys would open up to
him. With Dave it was stronger than ever, and it took a bit more effort
to stuff it deep inside himself where he didn't have to look at it.

Notes: Does this sound or read very familiar to some? It is very
familiar indeed to the author. After this first chapter, I will veer
sharply away from my personal history, but my personal experience shall
be ever-present alongside my fanciful imaginings. But this first short
chapter is right out of my own book of life. If you are interested to
read more about "Cole's Dreams" let me know. Please write "Cole" in
the subject area, so I don't toss it with the junk mail, and send it to
Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve


Bottom line: Love will Rule in the end.