Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 20:59:44 +0000
From: Steve Thomas <stevethomas535@hotmail.com>
Subject: Coles-Dreams Chapter 32
This is a work of pure fiction, based on the author's feelings, beliefs,
and in some cases, experience. There may be graphic sexual encounters at
times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat.
If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading
this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here.
If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of Characters:
Cole Alexander Stephanson IV -- Our hero
Jazz -- (Jack Zachary) Coles oldest brother
Diane -- Jazz's wife
Rod -- Coles middle brother
Igor (Iggy) -- Cole's Tutoring Pupil
Cole Alexander Stephanson III -- Coles Dad
Ethyl Stephanson -- Cole's mom
Rex Remlin-- Rod's best friend
Gus Hartwin -- Cole's Boyfriend
Michelle -- Cole's old girlfriend.
Dexter -- Iggy's boyfriend
Ed -- Paramedic
Manolo -- Paramedic
Steve -- Manolo's boyfriend
Randy -- Found Boy
Curtis -- Found boy's brother
Kian Willis -- Friend in Vancouver
Nicolas Poole -- Friend in Vancouver
Howard Poole -- Nicolas's Father
Christian -- the pool guy
Boyd -- the pilot
Spike -- Cop and former classmate
The twins:
Marcus Aurelius
Alexander The Great
From Chapter 31
"You drive a hard bargain, Gus, but I will have to accept those terms!"
"And you'll find out that a bargain is not the only thing hard I
drive!" He laughed.
"Well, in any case, I'm all yours tonight!" I meant it! I had been
planning something special for him for some time. Maybe tonight would be
the night.
Sunday was quiet. Nick, Kian, Gus and I reported back at the Poole's
for a buffet breakfast and spent a quiet day with them. Boyd and Chris
stayed at the hotel suite for some alone time.
Boyd and Chris flew us home and Dad picked us up on time. On the way
home Dad said, "Hope everything got handled."
"Oh yeah. Dad!" Gus laughed. "We did a lot of that!"
"I don't need a detailed account -- PLEASE!" dad said shaking his head
and chuckling.
Chapter 32
Mom had a nice dinner ready, even though it was quite late when we
arrived home. She looked a little tired, and excused herself as soon as
we were sat down. The twins were awake, so we each took one on our laps,
and ate one handed.
It's really weird how the boys have taken to us. Alex takes more to me,
and Marc seems to take to Gus more. When we were finished with dinner,
the boys were sleeping on our laps, so dad said to go to bed and he'd
take care of the dishes.
The boy's bed is next to ours. They will soon need their own separate
beds, though, as they move around a lot while they sleep. We carefully
put them in their bed, and then hit the sack ourselves. I had not told
Gus that I was planning something special, so I could have postponed it.
We were kind of tired. But as soon as I felt his warm skin next to mine
in bed, I changed my mind.
"Let's take a shower, Babe." I said.
"Really?" He said. "It's awfully late."
"I -- er -- want to -- um -- I wanna do something nice for you." I
almost said something new. I wanted it to be a surprise.
"Yeah, well -- okay." He seemed to be placating me. I dragged him
from the bed, and undressed him. The new home had our bedroom attached
to the 2nd bath, so that was nice. I pulled him into the bathroom and
turned on the shower. I got it very hot, and we got in. I soaped up a
wash cloth and washed myself first. He stood under the shower, looked
on, wondering what I was up to.
I then turned to him, all soapy, and pulled him out of the shower. I
rubbed my slippery, soapy body against his. He started to get into it.
He started to drop to his knees. I stopped him. Instead, I dropped to
my knees, but not for what he was expecting. I washed his legs
particularly well, then paid even more attention to his pubes, genitals
and anus. He squirmed a little as I thrust my soapy finger in and out of
his butt!
I then moved us into the shower and rinsed everything very well. When I
tried to rinse his hole, he closed it tight. "Relax, Sweetie! You
don't want soap irritating you all night." He relaxed and I ran my wet
finger in and out enough to get all the soap out.
"Oh my Gosh, Babe!" he uttered, "I hope you plan to put sumthin'
else in there later."
I giggled. Then I turned off the shower and he grabbed for a towel. I
snatched it from him. "I get to do this tonight! It's my show!" I
commanded. He grinned so cute!
I dried us both with the same towel, and then led him back to the bed.
It was a little cold this late, so I pulled the covers over us. Then I
dove deep under them and started to lick his crotch. I sucked his
balls. He was squirming and moaning. I lapped up one side and then the
other of his dick. He was breathing deep and trying to be quiet. Then I
took it all in, and sucked for a time. His breathing evened out and he
just made low guttural moans. His pelvis was gyrating by itself, pushing
in and out of my mouth.
I took my mouth off his dick, and took it in my hand. I squeezed it as I
licked the tender area of his legs just aside his balls. He started to
shriek and squirm, as quietly as he could. I worked my way to directly
under his balls, between them and his anus. I licked and sucked the hair
there for awhile, then moved down to his anus.
He let out a high pitched shriek. "Cole! What are you -- ohhh my gaw
-- oh -- oh God! Cole Stop! No don't, I mean, you never ahhhhhh --
eeeeee!!!
"SHhhh!" I giggled. I then put extra spit there and licked all around
the sphincter muscle. He squirmed and squeaked and shrieked -- quietly
-- like a little girl! My hand was still squeezing his dick. Still
licking his hole, I started to stroke his dick in the same rhythm as my
tongue was lapping. I could tell he was at his wits end.
Then I heard his high pitched screams get muffled as he stuffed the
pillow over his face. It was getting hard to keep up my licking because
he was squirming so much, So I forced my face into his crotch and jammed
my tongue in and out of his hole. I hadn't planned on doing that, but
as I got into it, I could not just stop there. And I had cleaned him out
good enough that there was no bad taste or smell.
He started to sob, in high pitched gulps into his pillow. I felt the
spunk rising up his shaft and then it started to spray. I took extra
long strokes, catching as much as I could and with his cream lubing it
up, I went even faster.
Then he went limp. I hugged his butt and kissed his dick, sucking off as
much of his stuff as I could. I then came up out of the covers. He was
lying half on his side, his tongue was out and he was breathing deeply.
His eyes looked glazed over. He noticed me there and shook his head hard
to clear it.
"Cole! Where did you learn to do that? I -- um -- don't know what to
say. I vowed I'd never do that. But now -- God! Cole, now I have to do
you!"
"Not tonight, Sweetie." I said. "This was my gift to you tonight."
"Well, a `gift' is what it was. Let me at least give you this."
He kissed me and jacked me off. We fell asleep in each others' arms.
We were dressed in all white. White tuxes. White ties. White shoes.
There was a glow around us and the man standing in front of us. "You
may now seal this ceremony with a kiss." Said the man.
Then I heard bells. "Cole?" It was as if the voice came out of a
dream. "COLE! Your phone is ringing!" It WAS out of a dream!
"Hello?" I said.
"Did you know he is a druggie?"
"Who is this?" I asked.
"Boyd. "Cole, did you know that Chris smokes pot?"
"I'd hardly call that being a druggie. Yeah, I knew it. It has never
been a problem between us."
"It is between us!"
"What's up?" I asked.
"I have dealt with too many people who have had addictions. I can't do
it again."
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.
"Because I don't know anyone else that knows him."
"Look, Boyd. I personally don't do any kind of drugs. But I have no
problem if some people want to do that. I don't even drink alcohol.
But again, if others do -- that's their choice."
"That's what we argued about the other day. I just don't want him
doing it." Boyd said.
"Then that's YOUR choice. I feel the same as you when it comes to my
relationship with Gus. I would not be with a guy who drinks or does dope
of any kind. But if someone else does, but it doesn't affect my life -
- that's up to him. Have you told him? Well, I guess if you argued
about it, you have."
"It really kills me. It's been only a few weeks, but DAMN that kid has
stolen my heart!"
"So -- are you willing to put up with it if it IS -- um -- a problem?"
"I don't think so."
"You don't think so?"
"No. I don't want to get mixed up in that crap again."
"Boyd, your mouth is telling me one thing, but your language is telling
me something else."
"Huh?"
"On one hand you sound like it's a deal-breaker. On the other you say,
`I don't think so', when I ask you if you are willing to put up with
it. Sounds to me like you need to decide if you will or won't put up
with it and then tell him. But if you decide you will put up with some,
I think it's gonna screw with you guys as long as you are seeing each
other."
"Are you telling me I should put my foot down?"
"I'm telling you that YOU have to decide what you will accept. Then
you have to make Chris understand how you feel. Just by your language
with me, I'm sure he is not at all convinced that you care all that
much."
"Oh." He said. "He's so cute. And So young! I'm almost old
enough to be his father! Do you think that's a problem?"
"Do you think that's a problem?" I parroted.
"You psych types! Do you ever answer a question?"
"My answer is not the important one. Yours is."
"I really don't have a problem with his age."
"I don't either." I laughed. "And once again, you have deflected
your main problem."
"Whaddaya mean, once again?" He didn't even try to act like he
didn't know I'd seen his change of subject.
"Boyd, this is the way you handle things most of the time, isn't it?
Bait and switch. If you don't know what to say next, you change the
subject."
"You're not helping me much."
"Aren't I?"
(long silence)
"What should I do?"
"You're gonna hate this, but -- um -- what do YOU think you should
do?"
"You're merciless! You sure you're only 22?"
"Nick is 22. I'm 20! What do you think you should do?"
"Tell him how I feel?"
"Is that a question?"
Damn! I AM merciless!
"Shit! You're right! I had this coming. I am wishy-washy."
"Stop!" I said.
"What?" He said.
"Stop being wishy-washy. You gotta be the adult here."
"Oh." He didn't sound convinced. "Okay, I'll tell him how I
feel."
"I'm going to try to put this as clearly as I can, Boyd. "Do NOT tell
him how you FEEL! Tell him how things are!"
"Okay. Thanks. Bye."
"Bye." I said.
"Okay, I heard one side of that conversation. What's going on?" Gus
said.
"I doubt if Boyd can deal with a guy his own age. He has trouble
dealing with a kid!"
"Yeah." Gus said. "And let me tell you the next step. Chris is
probably looking for someone to be the strong one. So he is attracted to
someone twice his age."
"You THINK?" I joked."
"Don't start with me!" Gus laughingly warned.
"What time do you work today?" I asked.
"I have to call and find out. Probably the late shift."
We usually don't have to deal with the boys in the morning. Mom keeps
them after the last feeding in the early morning. When we came out to
the kitchen they were sitting on the table in their twin napper chair.
We ate breakfast, and fed little bites to the boys. They had robust
appetites. They mosly nursed from my mom, but she let us give them
mashed up anything we were eating in small amounts.
"Don't have to go in to work today." Said Gus. "She thought I would
be gone today too."
"She really likes you!" Mom said.
"So -- what's not to like?" I quipped.
"Cole, is your phone ringing?"
It was in the bedroom. It had stopped ringing by the time I got to it.
Chris's number was on caller I.D. "I'll call him later." I said.
"Maybe after the call you got earlier, you should call him now." Gus
said. "Besides, I like to hear the way you jack them around."
"Hey!" I protested.
"But you're so good at it! I'm glad I'm not one of your patients --
or even one of your instructors!"
"Am I THAT bad?" I cried.
"Now is that what I just said? No. I just said you are GOOD at it."
"Good!" I said. "So nice to know I'm good at jacking people
around." I pressed the last caller redial.
"Hello?" Chris answered. "Oh, Cole? I just called you. Thanks for
calling back so soon."
"Thank Gus. I was gonna wait til later, but he likes to hear my jack
people around." I said. That brought a guffaw from Gus.
"What? Y-you have phone sex with your f-friends?" Chris laughed.
"No, Chris!" I giggled. "I didn't say jack-off! I said jack
around!"
"Oh. Never heard that b-before. So anyway," all that having gone
completely over his head, he continued, "D-do you think I'm t-too young
for B-boyd?"
Gus was sitting on the bed next to me, listening to the earpiece too.
"What do you think?" I asked. Gus buried his head in his pillow again
and cracked up.
"I d-dunno. I don't have a problem w-with it, but - "
"Does Boyd have a problem with it?" I asked innocently.
"Jeez, B-babe!" Gus whispered, "you're k-killing me!" He giggled
"I -- d-don't think -- I d-don't know."
"Maybe you should be asking yourself of he is too old for you. Is that
what you're wondering?" I asked.
"Is he too old for me?" he asked.
"How should I know?" I asked. "It's what YOU think that's
important. Do you have a problem with his age?"
"N-no."
"No?" I asked again.
"Wh-what do you want me to s-say?"
"Give the guy a break!" Gus whispered.
"First, slow down. Stop stuttering and tell me if you think he is too
old!"
"N-n" He stopped and started over, slowly. "I think -- I may be --
falling in love -- with -- him."
So -- is his age a problem?" I asked.
"Should it be?" He asked.
"Stop answering my questions with a question!" I commanded. "That's
MY job!"
"Okay. No, I do not have -- a problem -- with his age." He said.
"You're sure about that?" I asked.
"You ARE merciless!" Gus whispered.
"I -- yes! Can you think of any reason it would be a problem?" asked
Chris.
"Well, when you are 60 and he's 76, will it be a problem?" I asked.
"I haven't thought that far ahead. But no! I don't think -- well,
no. it won't!"
"Good. What else did you want some clarity on?" I asked.
"Nothing else. No wait! There might be something else." He said.
"What?"
"I don't think he likes me to smoke dope."
"What do you like more -- Boyd -- or your dope?"
"Why should I have to like one more than the other. I can smoke dope
and still like him."
"But - - if you like him, and he doesn't like dope, then you may be
liking him from a distance. Dude! If you think -- I think you know,
actually -- that he doesn't like it -- and you want him. Then give the
crap up!"
"For once you tell me what you actually think!" He said.
"And for once, you doubt what I say!" I said.
"I can give it up anytime I want to."
"Good. Then why wait?"
"Cuz I like it."
"What do you like more -- Boyd -- or your dope?"
"Okay, I'm getting your point. Thanks." Click
"Just like that?" Said Gus.
"I wonder if he got it." I said.
"Didn't seem like it to me." Gus answered.
The boys were getting more and more personality. They looked so much
alike that it was sometimes hard to tell which was which. They let us
know. Mom and dad could not always tell. But if I picked up Marc and
Gus picked up Alex at the same time, they would strain and put their arms
out to be exchanged.
When I was alone with them, I had to almost sneak to hold Marky. If
Lexxy saw it he would fuss. Both boys responded to singing. Gus wasn't
much of a singer, but he learned from me that he could hum anything, and
it would calm whoever he was holding. I loved holding one of them close
and humming to him and rubbing his back and arms. They both love that!
Mom was feeling a lot better and sometimes would use a breast pump to
leave milk for us to give to the boys when they would go out. Once when
they went out to give Gus and me some privacy, taking Randy with them,
The boys fell asleep on our bed. We decided this was our chance to take
advantage of our privacy.
It was kind of a quickie, so there was not a long drawn out foreplay
session. I was on the bottom in my favorite "riding the pole" position
with one boy was on each side of me. Gus had to straddle me and not step
on the boys as he bounced on me. I of course was wanking on him, and
about the time I pushed him up so I could do all the thrusting, and
wanking with all my might, Gus was well into his wild orgasm when we
heard laughing.
The boys were bouncing along beside me and both were giggling up a
storm! Lexxy got some cum on his face and immediately wiped it with his
finger. Well, as anyone knows, babies learn about things by putting them
in their mouth. Lexxie put this dollop of spunk in his mouth, grimaced
and then swallowed it. Both Gus and I stopped cold and it was if time
stood still, as we watched Lex.
After he swallowed, he gave us an open mouthed smile. We started
laughing and giggling like little boys ourselves, which got the boys
going. By the time we were finished, I was out of breath and gasping for
air I laughed so much.
We took the boys into the shower with us. Gus held both boys as I washed
the three of them. The boys loved their first shower with us.
They loved their first sex session with us too, but we determined that
would be their last. I wasn't too sure how early they would remember
things, and definitely didn't want a session like that to be one of
their first memories! One thing for sure: It wasn't an unpleasant one!
The summer went fast. The boys were growing even faster. Mom determined
to wean them at a year, but got a breast infection at 5 months and had to
stop. The boys really rebelled at that. But with help from Dad, Gus and
me, they accepted it, after about a 3-day cry-fest.
After that we started to feed them baby food as well as formula. Their
poops all of a sudden got nasty! Their systems were not used to the
change, so they got diaper rash and their little bottoms were red as
strawberries.
Soon there was no problem telling them apart. Marc seemed to be growing
faster and bigger than Lex. And Lex seemed to be getting crankier by
degrees. I had to hold him a lot more. But that seemed to make him feel
better. He loved his older brother!
"Aren't you a little worried that Marc is getting a little too fat,
Mom?" I asked one morning.
"I'm more concerned that Lexxy isn't, Honey. The doctor says it's
often normal for the twins to progress unequally, though. He says in no
time Lexxy will probably overtake Marc, and it will go like that all
their growing years.
I got used to Lex sleeping on my chest at night. He could not stop
fussing otherwise. Marc just kept getting stouter and slept all night in
his crib. Mornings were fun, as Lex was always in a good mood and
grinned and cooed and tried to imitate the sounds he heard us make. Marc
did too, but seemed to be a little slower developing in this way. Lex
completely stole my heart.
Gus teased that Marc was going to be a football star, and Lex was going
to be more like me. I wasn't too amused at that, but it did seem like
each was taking after his favorite brother.
In the mean time, both Chris and Boyd called often. I was really getting
to love both of them. I liked Chris right off the bat, and now it seemed
that each of them loved the other so much! That I had even a small part
of that pleased me.
"Cole? This is Boyd."
"I know." I said, having seen his name pop up on my cell phone.
"How's it going?"
"Not too bad. We're having fun experimenting. You know -- different
positions and stuff. We tried that one you showed us that night. Man I
can see why you like it so much!"
"Yeah. I never cum when he's on top riding my pole, but after I catch
my breath, I like to suck and chew on Gus's softy and either he or I
wank me to the end."
"That would not work with us. We both get too hard again too soon
after!" Boyd crowed.
"Well, you rock!" I laughed. "Sounds like you're having fun. Any
more talk of moving in?"
"Cole -- I'd like that, but - - I dunno."
"Well, you both have to be ready." I said.
"Oh, we both want it, but - - well, I was really disappointed the other
morning."
"What happened?"
"He stayed over with me -- as he does more and more -- and -- well -- he
told me he had stopped smoking so much!"
"You mean pot?"
"Yeah. I told him if he needs to do it, do it when I'm there. I even
tried it once with him. But he told me he only does it sometimes when he
is lonely or maybe needs to get to sleep."
"Yeah -- and - - ?"
"The other morning, I left early because I had an early flight to
Anchorage. We had just finished some hot morning sex and then showered
together. He went back to bed when I left. I got a block from home and
felt that my plane keys were not in my pocket. I remembered seeing them
on the dresser. When I got back, the room was all smoky and he was
stoking up. He couldn't have been lonely so soon! And he had to get up
in an hour to go to work!"
"Shit!" I exclaimed.
"MY feeling exactly. I don't want to hook up with another druggy. I
have done that before. Twice if you count the other alcoholic guy. I
just don't want to deal with it! Cole, I don't know what to do. I
love him so much, but - - "
"What did you say to him?"
"Not much. I didn't have time to talk. He just kept repeating, `I'm
sorry. I'm sorry'. I walked out and slammed the door."
"Boyd, you have to tell him that he has to stop! I know he loves you
more than he knew was possible. But you have been your wishy-washy self
with him. Tell him what you expect. Tell him what you have told me.
That you love him, but can't go through this again."
"Okay."
"Really, Boyd. Tonight! Before you have sex -- not after!"
"I know. I'm a wimp. I guess that's why I go for guys like this."
"Promise me you'll tell him."
"Okay. Gotta go. Bye."
"If he tells me about this, I'll give him hell. Otherwise I'm not
saying anything, Boyd. Bye."
I talked to Chris twice in the couple days after that. He didn't say
anything. Neither did Boyd even call me. I knew why. He didn't want
to report that he had not confronted Chris. Chris called me on the
second day after Boyd told me his concerns.
"I go for my 2nd -- and hopefully final interview -- for the new job."
He said.
"Great! Is it better hours than the one you have now with the
hospital?"
"Not as many hours, that's for sure! But more money!"
"Can't beat that with a stick!" I replied.
"But I'm a little worried."
"About - - ?"
"The job is based down in Washington. The U.S. I hear they might
require a blood test if I am hired -- immediately -- tonight!"
Aha! My chance! "And why would that be a problem, Chris?"
"I smoked 4 days ago. It doesn't leave the body for a long time."
I didn't say anything for an extended time. Finally, "Chris, I thought
you were gonna give that shit up!"
"I know, I know. I screwed up!"
"Well, it might cost you this job, guy. But what about your
relationship with Boyd? That's more important than any stupid job! Are
you gonna screw that up too?"
"No!" he said defensively. He loves me, I - "
"You're right, but Chris, I KNOW how disappointed Boyd was when he
caught you two mornings ago -- not four days ago!"
"I - "
"Chris there is nothing you can say! I'm disappointed and pissed at
you! Yes, Boyd loves you, but he won't put up with that. If you lose
him over this I'm gonna personally come up there and kick your ass!"
"I know."
"What's that supposed to mean? `I know'! Chris what are you going to
do! And you better give me the right answer!"
"I gotta stop."
"See that you fucking do!" I said. "I love you Chris, but this is
really stupid! Talk to Boyd and tell him -- promise him -- no more
shit! Not to help with your lonliness, not to help you sleep. JUST
FUCKING STOP!" I hung up.
"Man!" Gus said. "You're pissed!"
"Not as pissed as I sounded. More hurt. Sorry for the language. I
considered it carefully before using it. Sometimes there is just no
other way to express some things."
Gus smiled. "I know. If I had your vocabulary, I'd probably use it
less. You gonna call Boyd?"
"You think I should?"
"You know he has been avoiding you."
"Yeah. I know."
"Boyd? Cole. So what did he say when you gave him your ultimatum?"
"Ahem! I -- uh -- haven't -- uh -- told him yet."
"Geez, Boyd! You're really making me look stupid here. I just talked
to him and told him we talked. I laid it on thick! And you haven't
even talked to him? How is he going to take me seriously if you don't
take this seriously?"
"Well, I WAS gonna the other night, but he came over for dinner and I
had such a great time making it -- with his help -- I didn't wanna spoil
the mood. We had some great sex later and - "
"and one sex act is going to dictate the rest of your relationship!"
"I know!" he whined.
"Oh, shut up with the `I know crap'! That's what Chris says! You
both say you know, but you aren't willing to do what is required to --
to - "
"I'll talk to him tonight!"
"Don't be a pussy, Boyd! And - - CALL me when you're are done! If
you don't, I'm gonna call you!"
"Thanks, Cole. I don't know what we'd do without you."
"You better figure it out. I'll always be a phone call away, but you
need to handle things on your own -- by talking!"
"I'll call you -- I promise!"
Gus went to work and I as usual stayed home with mom and the twins. They
were starting to play with each other, but we had to watch them pretty
close. Marky would grab hold of any part of Lexxy and keep tugging until
Lexxy would cry.
Mom and I had a nice lunch and the boys both were sleepy, so we put them
down and took a nap ourselves. Marc was definitely stronger, but Lex
could turn over already. We always put them down on their backs, but
most often Lex would be on his tummy with his legs pulled up close so his
little butt would stick straight up in the air. So cute!
"I woke up to raucous crying. Mom came running. "What's wrong with
Marky?" She asked. His voice was noticeably lower, so she could tell.
He was crying so hard, it seemed like there must be a pin sticking him or
something. We both went to his crib. Mom picked him up. Nothing seemed
to be wrong. Except - -
All the crying should have awakened Lexxy. I went to his crib, and he
seemed to be sleeping like -- well, like a baby! He was on his tummy as
usual, but his butt wasn't poking up, and then I noticed, he wasn't
moving - - at all. I felt him and I got a horrible feeling. He was not
breathing! "MOM! What -- MOM!" I said, instantly crying and out of
control. "He's not breathing! MOM! Lexxy's not breathing!"
Marc was still crying. Mom put him in his crib and flew to my side. She
grabbed him from me and put his mouth up to her face. Then she collapsed
on my bed, and started to weep uncontrollably, rocking back and forth and
clutching Lexxy. I then noticed that there was absolutely no color in
his face or hands. Marky continued to wail. How did he know?
My spirit cried out, "NOOOoooooo! It Can't BEEEeeeee!" I cried over
and over. I went and picked up Marky. He seemed to get my agony and
cried even louder. I sat on the bed doing exactly as Mom was doing with
little Lexxy in he arms. I rocked him and rocked him, until he wore
himself out crying. I did the same.
When I finished crying -- only because I had no more emotion left, I
looked at mom. She was clutching Lex and was not rocking any more. She
was just staring at the wall. Her face was still wet. I put Marc down
and tried to take Lex, but she had too strong a grip on him.
"Mom." I said gently. "MOM!" I said louder. "Should we call the
doctor or something?" She didn't respond. I grabbed the phone and
called 911. I woman answered. In telling her what happened, I started
to cry again.
"Calm down sir -- if you can. What is your address?" I told her.
"And you say he was a twin? Is the other one okay?"
"Yes." I answered. "He -- he -- he -- seemed to know before --
before -- before -- we did." I broke down in hysterics.
"We'll send someone right over."
I kept crying until the paramedics got there. They confirmed there was
nothing to do. "Is there someone else you need to call? Sir?" He
could tell that Mom was out of it. I haltingly told him dad's number.
He called and explained things to Dad.
They took Mom, still holding Lex, to the emergency room, where a nurse
was able to extract the baby from mom's arms and a doctor gave her a
shot. Then he looked at the baby. "What time did you first notice he
was not breathing?"
I swallowed hard and hoarsely said, "It was about 1:30 I guess."
"That's what the death certificate will show then." It sounded so
final! I broke down again, and let myself wail.
It nearly always rained just once in July where we lived. Even in the
middle of the drought. But it has never stormed like it did the day of
the funeral. Was this God crying? Did he have no control over this
either? Lex died four days ago. The whole family was there. The
minister droned on about lots of important things, but I couldn't
concentrate. Gus was holding me. Actually we were holding each other.
He whispered, "Did you see that?"
He pointed across the cemetery to a large grave stone. I started to ask
what he was pointing at, then I saw something move. A boy -- a young boy
-- was peeping out from behind the large grave stone. It wasn't just
any boy though. This boy was dressed in the whitest play suit I ever
saw. And I knew in an instant. It was Lex. He ran to the next grave.
There was movement behind him. I squinted my eyes. Another apparition,
also dressed in brilliant white. He stopped and looked my way and waved.
It was Rex! He seemed to be playing hide and seek with Lexxy. I looked
at Gus. He was shaking his head. "That was the largest ball of
lightning I ever saw!" He exclaimed.
"Is that what you saw?" I asked.
"Didn't you see it?" he said. "It was so bright! I think that God
is trying to tell us that Lex is okay."
"Me too." I decided to tell him later what I saw.
Jazzy took care of all the wake arrangements. It was at the church.
Everyone was talking about everything -- except - Lexxy! I wanted to
scream! Then this little girl came and sat next to me. "I saw it
too," she said as if I knew what she meant.
"What?" I asked. "What did you see?"
"I saw the angel playing with that boy." She said matter-of-factly.
"I told my parents, but they wouldn't believe me. But I saw him wave
to you."
I gave her a hug and said thank you to her. She wiped my tear from my
face and kissed my cheek, then ran away.
That night, I fell asleep, crying, as every other night since -- since --
and Gus cried too. We held each other for support.
My dream was so real that night!
I seemed to wake up -- but knew I was dreaming. I got up to investigate
the brightness coming through the window. It seemed to be on the other
side of the house. I ran to the front door and slipped out. I
immediately was taken up above the clouds.
There was a beautiful garden place -- more beautiful than I could ever
imagine. It brought to mind the Buchart Gardens, but it was endless and
the colors were infinitely brighter and more glorious. I walked through
to where the light seemed to be leading me. I stopped cold when I came
to a person that I could hardly see because of the brightness.
"Your brother was needed here with me." The personage said, without
moving his mouth. "It was never my intention to leave him there. I
have a special mission for him."
I then saw Lexxy. He crawled to me! He lifted his arms and I picked him
up. He was weightless, and yet I could still feel him -- feel his love.
I held him close. "Why did you have to give him to us then take him
away?" I asked. It was not accusatory in the least. I just wanted to
know.
"For my own high purposes. You will understand someday. But that's
why I sent two to you. To comfort you when the one was taken away."
"It was then I noticed that like in all my dreams, I could see from both
eyes." "Will I be able to keep my sight, Sir?" I asked.
"Cole. Cole! Wake up!" I heard like an echo. The Lord said
something, but I couldn't hear! I thought about my eyes, how I could
see here. I wanted to stay and hold Lexxy longer. Then it came to me:
I was able to see at the cemetery too! What??
"Cole! Wake up! I have Marky here, but Lexxy needs changing too! And
I need help so I can have dinner ready for your brothers and dad." My
mom said. I sat up straight, and looked into Lex's crib. He was lying
there smiling at me. It was all a dream, then? But it seemed too real!
I picked up my boy and hugged his close, and hummed a tune for him to
feel and hear. He stuck his finger in my ear and giggled.
Notes: Hey! I only write what I'm told! I didn't know it was dream
before I wrote it. Well, for all WE know, this whole thing as only a
dream -- "Coles Dream"! Comments are welcome, but be gentle, I am
really feeing tender right now! Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com
Thanks and love, Steve