Date: Fri, 04 Jun 2004 11:48:24 -0700 From: Steve Thomas <s4d@hotmail.com> Subject: Coles-Dreams, Chapter 6 This is a work of pure fiction, (Just how pure is in question!) based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY! Cast of Characters: Cole Alexander Stephanson IV -- Our hero Jazz -- (Jack Zachary) Coles oldest brother Rod -- Coles middle brother Igor (Iggy) -- Cole's Tutoring Pupil Cole Alexander Stephanson III -- Coles Dad Ethyl Stephanson -- Cole's mom Rex Remlin-- Rod's best friend From Chapter 5: "I guess. I know one thing. I want more of that!" "As you wish!" He said. And we did it again. It wasn`t so incredibly great the second time, but it was still pretty amazing. It was nice to see his face as I jammed it home this time! Chapter 6 I took a chance and called Rex, not knowing his schedule on Monday mornings. It was a cell phone. "Yeah?" came a drowsy voice. "Rex?" I said. "Uh-uh." He said, then aside, "Here- it must be for you, dude." "Hello?" "Rex?" "Scrub?!!" "Yup! It's me Who was that that answered your cell phone?" "Oh! It's -- ahhh" He said to his other friend, "What's your name dude?" I heard him answer, Andy. "It's Andy. Why?" "Just wondered who would be answering your phone this early in the morning." "Aw, just some dude I picked up at the bar last night." "Really?" I said. "Sounds -- er -- exciting!" "Aw -- I usually don't do that, but -- um -- Well, I really felt bad last night after we -- I mean I -- well, you know!" "Actually that's what I was calling about." "Look Scrub, I really meant it when I said I was sorry." "I know you did. And I was calling to say -- well, I'm sorry you left last night. I didn't want to lay all this on you." "Really -- that's why you called?" "Yeah, and also to tell you -- O my Gosh! I had such and incredible -- really super incredible time with Iggy." "Oh yeah! How IS the Ig-man" "He's fine. The reason I called was to say -- I really lost it -- when I -- when I -- um -- came -- with Iggy. I mean, I just wanted to say -- I kind of understand -- why you -- um -- well, lost it with me." "Cole, I am so ashamed of what I did. I don't think I could ever make it up to you." "And what I'm telling you is - - just saying that means a lot to me -- and -- well, anyway, I just wanted you top know that." "Thanks a lot for calling Scrub. You don't know what it means to me." I wanted to say so much more, but I was kinda scared after knowing he had been with a guy he didn't even know the name of. "Uhh -- Rex?" "Yeah?" "When you -- um -- I mean -- well, - um -- Did you use a condom last night with -- is it Andy?" "Naw, man! He's clean." "Oh Okay. Um -- how do you know." "I can just tell. If a guy looks grody, I can just tell." "Oh. Well, nice to talk to you, Rex. Sorry about last night." "You're sorry?" He said. "I really am! See you -- um -- around. Bye." I hung up. I turned to Iggy. "Iggy -- last night -- he didn't have a condom did he?" "No." "I gotta get tested." "You mean he's got something?" I told him about the whole conversation, and how Rex decides if a guy is clean. "Wow." He said, his eyebrows high. "Guess we both should be tested -- maybe?" I asked. The mood shifted to pretty gloomy. "Maybe -- to be completely safe. The chance of anything getting into your blood stream and then in your semen in that short a time is nearly impossible, but - " "This stuff is all so new to me." "It's always best to be safe." He said. "You used a condom last night. Does that mean you are worried you may have something?" I asked. "No. I don't. I know that. But you don't. Don't ever have sex with anyone you don't know without protection. I probably shouldn't have let you do me last night without one, but -- I was pretty sure you were a virgin. Was I right?" "Damn! Rub it in!" I smirked. It kind of broke my gloom a little. I'll have to use one now, huh?" "Um -- I'd rather wait until -- until your results come back, Cole." "So -- are you telling me that -- I probably have it -- er something?" "No. I'm telling you that I take no chances whatsoever. Condoms aren't foolproof. I wouldn't have sex with anyone without one if I wasn't sure. If I WAS sure -- that they were for example, HIV+ - I would not have sex at all, under any circumstance." "Oh." I said. I was getting more scared by the minute. "Cole -- I don't want to worry you -- I just am that paranoid. The chances of you having gotten HIV from him, and then into your blood, then in turn into your semen and then into me is so miniscule, that it is not even a worry -- and yet, I will get tested. We're talking life and death here. And as far as having sex with you? The chances are that you don't have it at all, and with a condom, the chances are again miniscule. But I am very careful. I hope you will be too. C'mere." He hugged me for a long time. My empty feeling was not as bad. "Well, for now, I will just be your tutor. How long does it take?" I asked him. "For the test results to come back." "Two weeks, usually. It used to take two years for HIV, but not any more." It was the longest two weeks in my life. I enjoyed studying with Iggy, and really getting to know him a lot better. I wanted so much a repeat of our first time, but as I pondered it, I decided that us getting to know each other was a good thing. I could see how the sex could get in the way of a true friendship, or at least of it developing. By the end of the two weeks, I really liked him -- even more than that. I really felt close to him. I wanted to say love, because that's how I felt, but it still seemed too soon. And there was the test. All the tests were negative. I called Rex and told him. "What? You got tested? Man, I never even came!" "You had to have some precum going, Rex. Rex, I -- I really wanted to -- to try it again with you, but -- you -- um -- aren't careful enough -- for me." "Whatever, Scrub. I wanted that too, but I just can't let myself worry about everything all the time. But I really felt bad about the other night, too." "So - - do you think you will get yourself tested?" "I suppose I probably should eventually -- just to be safe, huh?" "I really think it's more important than that, Rex." "Yah, yah, I know." "You okay, Rex?" "Yah -- got a cold or something. I'll be okay." "Okay -- keep in touch, okay?" "You got it, Scrub! When did you think you wanted to get together again -- for some fun?" "Sometime after you've been tested, Rex. It may not be important to you -- but it is to me." "Okay -- I'll let you know. Great to chat with you." After we hung up, I felt -- uncomfortable. I told Iggy about my feeling. "Well,", Iggy said, "You know how I feel on the subject. You don't need to feel bad at all -- you did exactly what I would have done. You can't be too careful." "I'm just worried about Rex." I said. "He means the world to me." "You can only do what you can do, Cole. Will we see him this weekend?" "I don't know. Probably only if Rod comes home." Then another thought hit me. "You know, Iggy, we don't really have a legitimate reason for me to be staying here like this any more. You don't really need the tutoring any more." "I know. And with the new semester coming up, the chances are that the other bed here will be filled." "As if we ever used it!" I laughed. "Well, I may not get a roommate who would understand us always sleeping together." "Oh! Dang! That's right! What are we gonna do?" "I dunno." Iggy said. "I've grown -- erm -- well, kind of used to -- I mean -- I feel -- um -- close to you -- more than I thought I could." A feeling of excitement went through me, along with an uneasy feeling. "What -- what are you -- trying to, um, say?" "I'm not really sure myself, Cole. We both cry out our love for each other when we are in the heat of it, but -- I just - - don't know." I couldn't stand it any longer. "I -- Iggy -- I think maybe -- I mean, that is -- I really feel I am already at the next level." "What do you mean?" "Iggy, I think I'm in love with you." I had thought about this moment a lot. I was in a cold sweat now that I actually said it. I hoped that by me declaring it, he would feel free to say it back to me. He waited way too long. "Cole," he said, tears springing to his eyes. "I hope you're wrong about that. It's hasn't been long enough, - for me, Babe. Cole, I KNOW how it feels to get hurt -- and I don't want to be the cause of that for anyone else. But I think that you -- no, WE -- aren't old enough to -- um -- say that. `In love' means a commitment. I don't think either of us wants that right now." "Oh." I said. I was going to just let it go at that, and just keep doing what we were doing. "Cole, I think we should -- take a break from each other for awhile." He looked from one eye to the other, trying to gauge my reaction. I actually felt my eyes glaze over and assume a dull look. "Oh." I repeated. Tears were right behind my eyes, but I would not let them come. "Where is Iggy this weekend, Dear?" my mom asked. "We're through with our tutoring, Mom." I said simply. "I thought your -- relationship -- with him went deeper than that, Honey." She said "Is Roddy coming this weekend?" I asked, desperate to change the subject. "He's already here, actually. He's over at Rex's." "Oh. Can Rex come for dinner?" I asked. "You know Rex is always invited." I heard as I ran out the back door. Rex's Step-mom answered the door. She didn't say, "Hello" or "How are you?" or anything. She only motioned disgustedly over her shoulder to Rex's room. His room was dark. As soon as I came in, Rod turned around, saw me and ran to me picking me up and throwing me once around himself. "Scrub!" He said excitedly. "Where's your shadow?" I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I answered, "It's too dark in here for a shadow." "Where's Iggy?' said Rex, sounding far away. "He -- er -- had to go home -- this weekend -- to see his parents." By this time, my eyes had adjusted better to the darkness. "What -- are you okay Rex?" "Just a bad cold, Scrub. Remember the one I was trying to get when we talked earlier this week? Well, I got it -- big time!" "Are you coming over for dinner?" I asked. "Nothing like Mom's home cookin' to make you feel better." "Not hungry, Scrub." "Rex has a mean cold, Cole." "You mean it's gotten worse since we talked?" I asked Rex. "Well, you know -- gotta get worse before it gets better." He answered. "No, really, Rex. C'mon over. Mom will give you some chicken soup! You know she will!" At that, Roddy agreed wholeheartedly. "If mom can't make you well, no one can!" It seemed a major effort for him to get off his bed. But he did. He smiled weakly at us. Once at our house, Mom took one look at Rex and told him to lie down on the couch. "You look gray, Rex! If you get feeling this bad, don't wait this long to come to me, Honey." Rex smiled thankfully. She did give him chicken soup! And water. Nothing else. We had wonderful liver and onions. That didn't hurt Rex's feelings. He hates liver. I used to hate it until the eighth grade, when I had mono. The doc told Mom I had to have liver three times a week, for the iron. She wasn't willing to subject the whole family to that much liver, but she scouted all the internet and magazines she could get her hands on, and found a recipe for "mouth watering liver" recipe. I know -- that sounds like an oxymoron! The secret was to marinate it in milk for 8 hours before cooking it. Oh! She used ONLY baby beef liver. And then she fried it in real butter, until it was just barely done -- some pink still showing. It WAS mouth watering! I loved it immediately. I used to hate it! Anyway, he had chicken soup and then stayed the evening, napping and waking occasionally to drink yet another glass of water that Mom forced down him. He called and told his step mom he was staying the night. He stayed in Jazz's room. Saturday morning Rex was feeling better. He came and watched Rod and me as we played a few rounds of racquetball. He wanted to play, but Mom warned him against it, but told him the steam room might be good for him. In the steam room, since we were alone in there, and again the steam was thick, he said he would like Roddy and me to give him a close hug -- for energy. Well, Rod had a bit of a problem with that, but I (AHEM!) convinced him that some people claim that there is a lot of energy which passes between people through hugs. Of course we were all naked, and our bodies were all slippery from the sweat and steam. Well, I don't have to tell you how this affected me -- especially since I was facing Rex. My eyes were closed, and I felt my hair being tousled. I opened my eyes and it was Roddy. Man I love my big brother! When we were finished, I couldn't help but notice that I was the only one that was excited by that encounter. When we got home, during lunch, Mom said, "Iggy called while you were at the sports club dear." I almost bolted from the room and went to my bedroom to call him back. "Hello?" "Hi," I said casually as I could. "Mom said you called." "Yeah. I just wondered how you were doing -- and what I was missing out on." "Are you okay?" I asked him. "Yeah," he said, unconvincingly, "But I sure miss -- -- all of you." "Is everything okay in your family, Iggy?" I asked, concerned. "Yeah. I know they missed me and all -- and I missed them. It was time to come home for a visit." "So what's - - wrong?" I said, not giving him room for any claims to the contrary. "Nothing -- I mean -- well -- I guess I was maybe a little disappointed that they didn't -- well, - um -- at least ACT like they missed me. I don't know. Maybe I am the one who missed them more. I don't know." "Do you want to come down here -- for the rest of the weekend?" "No. I mean -- well, yeah, but now that I'm here, I better stay for church tomorrow. But thanks." "Iggy -- I -- have really missed you." I said, feeling like I was exposing my insides to him. "I know. I mean - - me too. I have thought a lot about our last conversation, Cole. I'm sorry if I came off kind of -- well -- cold. Your whole family is so warm and inviting, and mine -- well, they're just not that way, somehow. I guess I must take after them -- at least in some degree." "Oh." I said. I was disappointed that he always named my family, in his references in missing "us". Of course I wanted him to miss ME! "Well -- we're doing okay -- I guess. I played some racquetball with Rod. Rex is sick with a bad cold, or he might have played too." "Oh. Well, tell everyone there that I really miss them -- okay?" "I will." I said, woodenly. "Uh -- ahem -- do you wanna -- um -- hang out sometime -- maybe this week?" "Sure." He said. I thought -- or maybe imagined -- he sounded more enthusiastic about that. "Can you come by my place on Monday? When's your last class?" "Mondays are heavy for me, but actually I can be there by 4:00 if Islip out of my last class a little early." "That wouldn't be a problem?" "Not really." "Good. Maybe you could help me bone up for my final in anatomy. OH! And you left your visible man there." Yeah! I said to myself. I wanna help you bone up alright! "Okay, sounds good." "Dinner's on me, Cole!" "Okay. See you Monday." "Bye. Have a good rest of the weekend." "You too, Iggy. Bye." I hung up. Back in the kitchen, "How is Iggy?" Mom said. "He's -- okay. He said to say hi to everyone." "Did you tell him we miss him?" She asked. "He says he misses all of you too." I answered. "Cole, will you be coming home nights again now?" Mom asked. "I -- guess. I'm going to his dorm to hang out tomorrow though -- and we're gonna study for our anatomy final that's on Wednesday. So -- I'll call you -- I may stay Monday night." Rex smiled at that remark. I gave him the "shut up" look. Roddy and I decided not to go to church on Sunday. We talked it over and decided it was just for show anyway -- for Mom. And since she didn't ever go herself, what was the point? At breakfast, Mom said, "Are you boys going to church?" "They're not boys, Ep." My dad said. "They'll always be boys to me!" She defended. I looked at Roddy and we both said, No." at once. "Finally get tired of Rev. Wilson's crap?" Dad said. "Cole!" My mom said to him. Then she continued. "Well, I wouldn't have put it so strongly, boys, but you know I don't go, so I guess I can't say much. I wondered how long you would keep it up." Both Rod and I were stunned. We were only going -- when we were here at home on the weekend -- to please them -- her! Sunday was lazy and long! I could think of nothing else but tomorrow night. On Monday morning, I woke up earlier than the alarm, then spent at least 20 minutes trying to decide what to wear. Who was I trying to impress, anyway? Well, I KNEW the answer to that! As I flew out of the house, Mom said, "Bye Cole. Will we be seeing you tonight?" "I don't know yet Mom. Don't plan on me unless I call." "Okay, Sweetheart. I hope you two can work everything out." I ran to my car, wondering what she meant by that. Did she read my mind, or what? If Sunday was long, Monday was worse -- even though I had classes. Not that I could really concentrate on them! When my last class started, I had to control myself no to bolt out the door 5 minutes into it. It was a 50 minute lecture class. I sat next to the door, planning to slip out just past halfway through. I didn't make it that long! About 15 minutes into it, the professor was droning on, glued to his notes. I easily sneaked out with no one noticing. As excited as I was, the closer I got to his dorm, I controlled my urge to put the pedal to the metal. I kept telling myself this was just a visit -- just a study time. As I approached the door, my heart was going at least double-time. I knocked. He answered the door. "Hi!" he said. He pulled me into the room, and gently wrapped his arms around my back. I snuggled in close and we stood there about five minutes, not saying a word. Finally in my ear, he whispered, "Oh my God, Cole, I have missed you so much!" I hugged him closer. "I - " I started. "No, let me finish." He interrupted. "I didn't expect this, Cole. It sneaked up on me. Being with you day and night for so long -- I didn't realize just how -- attached -- I had become -- to you -- or - - - how I'd miss you." While he was talking my body had become rigid. I didn't know what to think. At first I thought he was building me up to let me down, and I was braced for it. When what he said sunk in, I breathed a huge sigh and went almost limp. He had to hold me up. "You hate me don't you, Cole?" He said. "Hate you?" I said. He walked me over to the bed and let me sit down. "Hate you? No, I don't hate you, Iggy. I don't feel any different about you than I did last week. I guess -- I was confused at first, but -- I guess -- being apart for a few days -- was a good thing -- for us, then." "Duh!" he said. Well, actually with his accent it came out, "Daw!" Or maybe he was unconsciously saying "Да", which is yes in Russian, and is pronounced almost like "Daw". Whichever it was, I got it, and stood back up and hugged him again. This time I kissed him. Well, I'm not sure who thought of it first. Anyway, our lips met and opened, and then our tongues met. His is so soft and warm! My already sexual high was overpowered by an even more powerful surge of energy that ripped through my whole body and sent a spasm from somewhere inside my head down to my testicles and then produced a flex in my dick that made Iggy moan with pleasure. "Man! You are one horny dude!" He said. "It's been building." I simply replied. "Well, first things first." He said. "Let's get the study part done, so when the real `boning up' happens we can give it our full attention!" I sighed heavily, and let him go. We sat on the bed and retrieved our anatomy notes. In an hour or so, he felt he was ready to ace the exam, so we moved on to a better pursuit. "Cole, can I ask you something?" "Of course!" I said with belied abandon. "Can we just be in freefall for awhile?" "What do you mean?" I asked. "Truthfully, when I think of my ex, it still hurts. It's been a year, but I still ache inside. You are the first one that I even have been interested in getting close to. What I'm trying to say is -- there is no one else -- only you. But I just am not ready to commit to - - anything. Can we just -- can YOU just be my boyfriend -- not necessarily exclusive, but -- um - " He paused to think. " -- um, well, I don't want you to think you can't date other guys. I probably won't, but you are free to. I don't want to hurt you, Cole. You're too nice a guy. But to tell you the honest-to-God truth - - if he came back asking for forgiveness today -- I'd forgive him and risk getting hurt again. That's how much I still care for him." "Wow." I said. This time it was I who paused to think. "Well, I can't -- um -- deny your feelings, Ig. And -- I -- um -- well, I'm only twenty and all -- so -- I guess I can -- well I'll have to -- deal with those -- um -- terms. I know how I THINK I feel toward you, and as far as I'm concerned, I don't want to date other guys either. When I dated girls, I was always exclusive, and - - I still seem to want to do the same. So - - What can I say? Yes. I guess I -- can." I felt weird. I wasn't unhappy. He just asked me to be his boyfriend! But not necessarily with any commitment. Most guys would jump at that proposition! Somehow, I was not so exuberant. "So with that out of the way - - " he quipped, "Shall we just fuck our brains out now!!??" Horny Cole took over! I grabbed him and threw him on the bed, then attacked him, almost ripping his clothes off. We were both laughing so hard we almost missed the sound of a key in the door lock. I jumped away from him, and slammed my body against the opening door. Then came a timid knock. "Can you wait a minute?" Iggy yelled. "Sorry!" came a muffled response. I'll come back later." "No -- WAIT!" Iggy said. The whispering to me, "Get into the bathroom for a moment." I did as I was told, but peeked out of the cracked open door. Iggy opened the outer door a couple inches. "Hello." He said. The voice outside the door said, I'm sorry to bother you. Are you Igor?" "Yah. What's up?" "They told me you probably wouldn't be here. I guess I should have paid more attention to `probably'! Sorry. I guess I caught you at a bad time, huh?" "Well, yeah - sort of. Who told you I - " "Admin. I'm your new roommate -- next week." I saw a hand extend into the room. Iggy shook it. "Oh! Hi! I'm Iggy -- well that's what my friends call me, anyway." "Well, I've taken enough of your time, Igor - - Iggy (?) So I'll come back later." "Wait! You didn't tell me your name." "Oh. Stupid of me! Gus. Gus Hartwin." "Gus Hartwin. That name sounds somehow familiar to me." "Did admin notify you?" "No, not at all. But I'm sure I've heard that name in the last few days. Hmm." My mouth almost hit the floor! Gus Hartwin! What were the chances. Gus was Rex's ex, and MY old classmate, the football star who snubbed me. My immediate response was to run and hide and sneak out in disguise, in case he might be anywhere in the area. Then it hit me. Gus is gay! I came out of the bathroom. "GUS!" I hollered. "Gus Hartwin! Put some clothes on, Iggy, and invite Gus in!" Iggy looked at me as if I was crazy, then he said to Gus, "Just a minute." And closed the door. He grabbed his clothes and ran into the bathroom. I re-opened the door, this time all the way. Gus stood there for a moment, a little confused, then I could see recognition creeping across his face. "Stephanson! Cole Stephanson! God! I figured it was a GIRL hiding in there! You're gay?!!" he asked incredulously. It wasn't accusative, only surprised. "Seems so." I said, then added, "Seems like we all are, huh?" His panicky look when I said that almost made me laugh. "What??" He said. "Where -- uh -- Where - " "Gus. My neighbor and almost best friend is Rex Remlin." "Uh -- oh! Rex. How is he?" "He's got a pretty bad cold right now." "Cole -- he and I - " "I know about you and Rex." I said evenly. "We -- just -- um -- broke up." "I know." "I don't know what to - " "Gus. I told you I know Rex. Actually he's my brother's best friend, but we hung out together all the time -- still do." "But -- I don't know what he told you, but -- and I really -- really miss him, but - " " -- he was dangerous?" I finished his sentence. "YES! How did you know - - oh! Imigod! You too?" He asked. Iggy came out of the bathroom, and just watched and listened. "No. But almost. He was just too -- risky -- or something. But I had to get tested because of him." I said. "Me too! Negative?" "Yeah." I said. "You?" "I got Chlamydia from him. Damn, I loved him -- LOVE him -- but -- he was just -- well, he couldn't keep it in his pants!" He said sadly. "I know." "So apparently you guys know each other." Iggy said. "Yeah. This is the guy I told you about -- the homecoming King in my class that snubbed me -- remember?" "I snubbed you?" Gus said. "You were all popular and stuff -- with the girls and the guys! You didn't have any time for anyone like me." "Cole -- how many people did we graduate with?" "Our class was almost 1000, as I remember." I replied. "and do you think I remember every one of those people?" "I know I don't!" I said. "But you were popular! Everyone knew you!" "Cole -- I just came in here and remembered your name. As a matter of fact as I can recall, it's Cole Alexander Stephanson the third. Right?" "Fourth. But close enough. What the hell?" "Cole -- I KNEW who you were! You were one of the cutest guys in school. A LOT of the guys knew who you were!" "They did?" I was appalled! "You were the guy who dated all the girls those other guys couldn't even have a chance with! So you didn't play football! Most of those guys were jerks! No, that's not true. But some of them were bullies! You didn't think that of me, did you?" "No. I just -- you thought I was cute? Wow! I used to drool over you in the locker room!" "Cole, I was shy. I dated a few of the popular girls. Never got to second base with even one of them. And I didn't brag all the time to the other guys either. But some people just assume the football guys are all sex fiends. Well, I WAS, but I was a frustrated sex fiend. I only wanted the guys! All the guys. Any guy! I was as horny as any high school boy, but -- I was horny for the wrong sex." "I know." "What??!! You knew?" "No -- I KNOW what you're talking about. Me too -- same story." "Then right after I graduated, I sneaked out to a gay bar -- the one down on Rives and Florence -- and that's where I met Rex." A sadness came over Gus again. "Well, anyway -- it's great to see you again." I said. I raised my arms and he walked in to them. A close enough hug ensued that I felt his growing hardness. "I used to only dream of this." He said. "What -- holding another guy? Yeah me too." I replied. "No -- holding YOU like this." He whispered it but loud enough that Iggy heard it. I felt strangely embarrassed. Notes: Hey! Don't blame me! It was a surprise to me too! And not a good one to break for the weekend with! Any comments -- hate mail -- love letters -- welcome! Send to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Please write "Cole" on the subject line. Thanks and love, Steve Bottom line: Love will Rule in the end.