Date: Wed, 02 Jul 2003 11:10:33 -0700 From: Steve Thomas <s4d@hotmail.com> Subject: Denny-Comes-Out Ch 17 This is a fictional story. It is based on the few experiences and many fantasies of the author. If you are really into graphic sex, it may not satisfy your purpose for coming here. If you like to hear of real love and real teen angst, with a little sex thrown in, you are in the right place. There may be some amount of graphic sex between males. If this is objectionable to you, or you are legally too young to be here, you are cordially invited to press your back button. Characters: Denny (Dennis Andrew Miggs), 20 Garth Roth, 22 Randy Small, 24 Bob, Denny's Brother 3 years older Gail, Bob's wife Jack, Denny's oldest brother, 9 years older Jack's son's, Jacky, Bobby and DennyToo Denny's dad, James Denny's mom, Carol Ray, Denny's dad's Deputy D.A. friend Randy's mom and step dad, who shall remain nameless! Roddy, Flight Attendant Rollie, Garth's dad Rob, Garth's cousin Tad Newliegh, the new roomie From Chapter 16: "Wow!" Randy said. HE looked as if he just was gut punched. I hated it, but he asked me a direct question and demanded the truth. "So if I'm reading this right, I love you, you love Tad and if you are right -- Tad prefers me! Isn't that cute!" "Okay, let's not jump to any conclusions here!" I said. "We have all hardly known each other yet." I thought some more. "It's like -- well last night I thought about Garth and a little sorrow entered my being. But -- he's gone now -- and it's not unbearable. So I wonder if I really was in love with him.. You see?" "So -- it's all relative?" "Maybe. I never felt that way about anyone. I assumed it was love. That I was `in love'. Yet now, not more than a few weeks later -- it's just a passing feeling of sorrow. I wonder if any of us experiences love -- really -- in the classic way. I mean -- I don't mean to cheapen the way you feel, but -- I thought I felt this way too." "Wow! That's pretty heavy, Dude!" "I know." Chapter 17 My first class this morning was my language lab. I could do this busy work with my eyes closed, so I had a lot of time to think. And I hated it. Randy was 24, but his family situation had in reality stunted his emotional growth. Tad was barely 18, and he was emotionally immature as well. At 20, I felt like I was by all accounts the "oldest". Certainly the most emotionally secure. I felt heavily responsible to "do the right thing". DAMN my parents! Why can't I just blow it off and say, "lets have fun"! But I can't do that. My mom used to love to quote to me from "The Sound of Music", the line, "When God closes a door, he opens a window." Should I just close my own door here? Do I need to "save" my roommates from each other? This is what I seem to be moving toward. No! I deserve to find someone more like myself. For myself! I left the lab feeling more depressed than when I got there. The rest of my classes were intensive enough that I couldn't think about this. Thank God for that! And Band practice was fun. We got silly and I just let loose for awhile and had fun. The walk back from band to the dorm was about ten minutes. I was almost back before I remembered my musing from the morning. I couldn't bear to face the guys at the moment, so I reversed my course then headed for the track. I could have driven, but I needed to walk -- and think. As I walked around the track, it got dark. I walked home in the dark. I seemed to be super sensitive to every sound and movement. Once I just stopped and listened for a moment, almost afraid to move on. But I did and I came back to the room. I flipped on the light. I found Randy and Tad in my bed -- "playing" under the covers. "Dude!" Randy exclaimed, looking mightily embarrassed. Tad couldn't even look at me. I quickly turned off the light and went into the bathroom. When I came back in, I climbed up to Tad's bunk. "What're you -- where - " Randy again stammered. "Why're you going up there. We're in your bed on purpose! Denny? C'mon!" During my walk I had decided that I was not going to be part of the "triple" any more. I decided that I was okay letting Randy and Tad do what they wanted. Now, up here above them, I was really starting to regret my decision. My body ached to climb down and -- well, just one more time couldn't hurt! I thrust my legs over the side, but then my former resolve kicked in. NO! I've gotta stop! It's now or never! I pulled my legs back up and then said, "Guys, don't worry about it. It's not what you think. I'm not pissed that you were having fun without me. Actually I'm glad." So why did I feel like crap? "I've thought about this all day. You guys are perfect for each other -- really." I tried to hide the tears in my voice. "And I just -- can't do this any more." Silence. No attempt to try to talk me out of it. We all lay there in total stillness for about 5 minutes. Then I heard one of the guys -- I assumed Randy -- get up and get in Randy's bed. This was the first night since Tad came to us that all three beds were occupied. I was on my back. I turned over and with my face on Tad's pillow, I could smell his wonderful musky smell. Man, that kid turned me on! Ever so quietly, my tears made a small wet spot on his pillow. I wondered if he was smelling me on my pillow, as I fell asleep. Next morning everyone was quiet. Tad had the earliest class, then Randy, and then me. We were all awake, but each stayed in bed until he had to get ready. So I was all alone, as I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. I made it really hot and let the hot water fall down on the top of my head, washing my face of the liberal tears that fell. As I left the room for class, I left a note: "Guys -- I'm going home at least for tonight, so don't worry when I don't show up. I need some time to think. Please don't worry about me. I will be fine. I really feel this is the best thing. You guys are -- better suited for each other. I will be back tomorrow night." Some things a guy just needs to ask his parents about! I came in the door at home unannounced. "Denny!" My mom exclaimed. She rushed to me and gave me a hug. "I didn't expect you! Did you tell us you were coming home tonight? It's the middle of the week. Is everything okay?" "I want -- er -- need to talk to you -- and Dad." "What is it Honey?" "I'd rather talk to you together." "Okay. Sounds important! Well, how about at dinner? We were planning to go out tonight anyway -- you can come with us." "Mom -- uh -- I -- er -- I'd rather tell you -- er -- discuss this -- here at home. Maybe after dinner." "No. We'll order pizza in." As I was waiting for dad to come home, I was just nosing around the phone desk in the kitchen, and noticed the notes strewn around and one caught my eye. There was some doodling and the name "Rob" was in the middle of it. "Mom?" "Yes, Honey?" "Who do you know named Rob?" "Wha -- why do you ask?" "Just wondered. I saw this note with Rob written on it." "Oh! It was some guy who called for you. I gave him your number at school." "My cell number?" "I'm not sure. Probably your dorm number. I don't give out cell numbers if possible. Who is he?" "It's Garth's cousin. He is in Santa Barbara." "Didn't he call you?" "How long ago was it?" I asked, feeling stunned. "Oh, two -- maybe three weeks ago." She answered. "Shit!" "What?" "Aw, well -- maybe he tried to call and one of the other guys didn't tell me. Tad doesn't have a clue who he is." "I think I wrote down his number there." "It's not on this note here." "Let me see." She came over to the desk. I showed her the note. "That's not my note. That's some of your father's doodling. He must have been talking on the phone and saw the note about this Rob and jotted it down." She dug around and then pulled a note from the spike that was there to hold old notes. "Oh! Here! Here it is!" I always wanted to ask her why she kept all those old notes -- they really cluttered up the desk. Now I was glad she did! I immediately took the note into my bedroom and keyed in the number. "We're sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected." My heart sank! "The new number is area code 213--blah blah blah - - - " I wrote it down and then dialed it. My hands were shaking! Area code 213 wasn't Santa Barbara. It was Los Angeles! "Hello?" Damn! I had almost forgotten what a wonderful baritone voice he had! "Rob?" I felt all at once shy. "Yes, this is Rob. Who's this?" "It's Denny. I'm - " "Oh yes! Denny. I'm so glad you called! I was beginning to wonder if you got my messages. I called the number you gave me, and it was your parents' home." "I know. It's so automatic to give that number! I had a lot to think about back there." "We all did. I called the number your mom gave me, and left a recorded message." "I never got it. Roommates." "Ah!" He said. I hung on every word. His voice sounded like the God he looked like. "I graduated from UCSB and just got a job in -- are you familiar with Inglewood?" "Are you SHITTIN' me?" I blurted out. "Beg your pardon?" "Oh! Sorry! No -- it's just -- Inglewood is about two minutes from West L.A. where I am! Well that's an exaggeration. But anyway it's no more than ten or fifteen minutes -- with no traffic." "Great! We'll have to get together." He said. I tried to not sound too eager. "Let's see. Tonight is Wednesday. Wanna get together Friday night?" "Can't. Got a date in Santa Barbara for the weekend" "Oh! That's nice." NOT! "How about tomorrow night?" he added. This brightened me up -- for about a millisecond! "Oh -- well -- naw!" I hated myself for this, but - - - "I will be cramming for a test on Friday." "Cramming!?" Rob said. "Hey, that's no way to learn anything - at least anything you wanna remember." "It's the only way I know." "Well, we'll just have to change that! How's Sunday night -- work for you?" "Sure!" I said, a little confused. "Then it's a date!" "You throw that word around pretty loosely don't you?" "What word?" "Date. You said you have a date this weekend - " "Oh!" He laughed nervously. "No! This is a date with the people I used to live with. The Smiths are like family. They -- Hey!" "What?" I said. He sounded alarmed -- or excited -- or something. "This is kinda crazy -- but -- I know they wouldn't mind an extra. Do you want to -- er -- come to Santa Barbara with me this week? You'll love my roommates." "Uh, well," my head was spinning! "I -- uh - - " "Or is it too soon?" "Too soon?" I queried. "I mean after Garth's -- you know too soon to date?" "Oh! Well! No, - that is I mean -- you're -- you're asking me out for a DATE?" "Well, yeah, but I didn't know it would be this hard! Can you -- will you -- do you want to -- do it?' "Do it?" I asked incredulously! He couldn't mean what I was thinking! "Come to Santa Barbara! Man you're making this pretty hard." Did he mean that as a pun? Do I have a one track mind? "Oh! YES! Hee hee! O my gawd, did I just giggle?" It took me a full five seconds to realize I had just SPOKEN what I was THINKING -- out loud! I was barely able to hear Rob with my embarrassment crowding out most of my consciousness. He was laughing! No he was actually giggling himself! "Oh! That was priceless!" He uttered. "I think I've found my match!" "What?" I said, barely able to talk, because of embarrassment and -- well -- my mouth was so wide open in a huge smile! "I don't know for sure, but I'll bet you are as red as a beet!" He said, still laughing. I giggled some more. "They don't make beets this red!" I started to guffaw like a donkey! "Wait a minute." "Yeah, heh, I need to catch my breath too!" He added. After about 20 seconds, he continued. "Well, a-heh! Listen. Give me directions to your place, and I'll pick you up. What time are you out of class -- or -- what time is good for you?" We got the time and directions all straight. I hung up and floated back into the kitchen. "What was all the laughing about?" My mom asked me. "Huh? Laughing? Oh! On the phone! I was talking to -- oh! I got a date! For this weekend!" "Oh, that's nice. Randy or Todd?" "It's Tad, not Todd, and it's neither. It's Rob! OH!" "What?" "You haven't ordered the pizza, have you?" "No -- why?" "I just remembered! I have some heavy studying I forgot about -- back at the dorm!" "What about the important `talk' you needed with your father and me?" "Oh. That was nothing, really. Randy and Tad wanted to -- well it's not important any more. See yah!" I ran out the door, then came back and kissed my mom goodbye! "Tell dad Hi for me!" "Tell him yourself!" said my dad from behind. "What do we have to thank for this impromptu visit, Son?" "Uh, you tell him, mom! I gotta go!" I hugged and kissed my dad and ran out the door a second time. As I was getting in my car, my mom poked her head out the door. "Drive carefully, Honey!" My little Saturn, with its high miles, still felt tight. I cruised up the 91 to the Long Beach freeway, then up the Century freeway. It wasn't my normal path, but I wanted to see just how long it really took to get from Inglewood to UCLA. I stopped at a restaurant on Crenshaw, then it took me exactly 12 minutes to get back to the dorm, after dinner. I got out of my car and ran to the dorm, up the stairs and bolted into the room. The lights were on and both guys were reading. It just then dawned on me -- wow! They thought I was going to be gone tonight. I was glad I didn't "interrupt something". "Thought you were going home tonight." Randy said. "I decided to come back. Sorry. I shoulda called." " `s okay. What brought you back?" "I need to get some stuff done." I said as nonchalantly as I could. I then went to my drawers and closet and started pulling out clothes, both dirty and clean. "WHAT" Randy demanded, "are you DOING??!!" "I'm -- er -- going away for the weekend. I want it to be perf -- I mean I need to make sure I have enough clothes!" "Got a date for the weekend huh?" Randy was no dummy! "Anyone we know?" I thought I saw the light go dimmer in his eyes. "Not exactly." "Not exactly. Okay." He mused. "No! Tad doesn't know him at all, and -- well -- you will remember him. It is Garth's cousin -- Rob?" I was trying to be low key. I'm afraid it came out more as high pitched. "Oh! Yeah! I remember! The God you spent your last night in K.C. with." "Yeah -- That's him! Hey, you guys could use a weekend without me!" I quipped. I glanced at Tad. He was looking hungrily at Randy -- I'm sure hoping the weekend would be -- well nice for them too. I gathered up the clothes I wanted to wash and went out of the room to a Laundromat. I came back a couple hours later and Randy and Tad were both in Randy's bed. Well they didn't waste any time, did they. I bent down and whispered, "Why don't you guys trade beds with me. Looks like you could use it." Randy got up, gave me a nude hug and said, "I love you, Denny!" "I love you too, Randy. You too, Tad!" "Yeah," Tad said, "Me too!" And he pecked me on the cheek. They snuggled down under the sheets in my bed. Thursday is my lightest day. So I decided to study for my test earlier than normal. Still, the day dragged by -- and Friday too. Oh -- I aced the test! Friday at 4:45 sharp, Rob knocked at my door. I opened it, forgetting he was as tall as he was. I couldn't help myself. I did a full body scan of him. As I started to turn red, I noticed he was doing the same, his eyes stopping at all points of interest. I looked in his eyes. They were the only things there which were not crimson. I felt my own face burning as well. The first thing we did was giggle. I invited him in. Both Randy and Tad were trying to undress him with their eyes. He truly was more of a god than even I remembered! I made the introductions and hefted my packed suitcase from behind the door. "Oh!" Rob said. "Guess I shoulda told you. Uh -- heh, this is kinda embarrassing. My car's not big enough -- for that." "No prob! I said. It's packed loosley anyway. How much room?" "Got a book bag?" He asked. I laughed. "No joke! My parents bought me a car for graduation. It's pretty small." "Okay," I said. "Ummm -- I guess you better tell me what to bring. I was prepared for any possibility." "Oh! Okay. Well, what you're wearing is formal enough for anything we do. Bring a couple pair of shorts, a coupla tees and that should do it. Oh! And your swim suit!" I was dressed in Dockers, a polo shirt and leather sandals. Can I bring some tennies? And sox?" "Sure! We'll fit em in!" "Is this all you brought?" I said, trying not to sound accusing. "I have plenty of clothes still up there." Then he actually stepped back and did another full body scan of me up and down. I was mortified. "You are about Chris's size. If you need anything else, you can borrow some of his." "You must be great friends with this Chris." "Yeah. Both he and Craig are like brothers!" Ready? Nice to meet you guys!" Randy and Tad stumbled over their feet trying to reach him to shake hands! He led me out to the guest parking, straight to a brand new 50th Anniversary Edition Convertible Corvette! It was somewhere between burgundy and bright red. The paint shimmered in the late afternoon sun. There were several students standing around it when we walked up. One was the geek who Tad had pounded earlier. He scowled at me, as I made a production of throwing my bag into the tiny trunk. Suddenly I wanted everyone to know I was with Rob! But I tried my best not to look too swishy! Late afternoon on Friday is the WORST time to be traveling on Pacific Coast highway! We crept from Santa Monica most of the way to Oxnard, where we picked up 101. It wasn't much better on 101. Finally, Rob picked up his cell phone and pressed a pre-assigned number. "Hi! We'll be a little later than I expected. Oh! Yeah, it is we. I'm bringing a friend. I knew you would, thanks. He'll be spending the weekend. K. Laterz! Yeah, tell her sorry! Bye!" At my inquiring smile, he explained. "That was Aunt Lindy." "Oh! They're related?" I asked. "No, but we all call them Uncle Jake and Aunt Lindy. My roommate Chris is actually their nephew. Well, also Seth. Seth and Chris are brothers. Craig is Chris's partner and Seth has a partner too, Luke." "Wow! Everyone there is -- er -- gay?" "Heh! I guess -- well, not in the big house! But we are all in the guest house. It was originally built for their son, Jake Junior, and his partner, Colin. I guess you could say the Smiths are gay-friendly! I was the longest hold-out!" "Hold-out?" "Yeah. I dated Carrie, the Smiths' daughter up until about six months ago, when I finally admitted I am gay. You know what they all said -- including Carrie -- when I told them?" "Yeah!" I chuckled. "You do?" he sounded surprised. "Been there! I bet they said something like, `DUH!' " I giggled. "That's what I have been getting!" "That's EXACTLY what they said!" he said. "Man, I've never seen the traffic quite this bad." He wheeled the Corvette onto the closest off-ramp. "Welcome to Ventura!" "Wha - " "We're stopping for dinner here!" Maybe the traffic will be better after we eat." He seemed to know his way around Ventura. "You like seafood? "I -- uh -- sure!" "What? We can go somewhere else if you like. Doesn't matter to me." "No, seafood is okay. It's just that -- well, the closest I've been to a seafood restaurant is fish sticks at Denny's!" "Oh! Well, if you like them, you're gonna love this place." It was a restaurant on the ocean. He tipped the maitre `d and we were led to a secluded table outside, overlooking the surf. There were rocks directly below the restaurant, but there was a beach below the rocks. The surf seemed to glow in the moon light. Both of us were quite speechless until the waiter came. Rob ordered for me. I didn't know a prawn from a lobster. He ordered us both a crab louis. I had no idea what it was until they brought me this huge salad, covered in stringy white meat. I learned that was the crab. I also learned that I loved crab! As we waited for our food to come, the quiet got uncomfortable. When there didn't seem to be anything else to look at, my eyes met Rob's. Neither of us could break the gaze. Finally, Rob spoke. "Well, I guess this is my party, so I better be a good host. I hope you're not too bored!" I flinched. "Oh! I guess that was my cue to say something. No! Bored is nothing close to what I feel at the moment." Omigod, why did I say that? Rob touched my hand, then said, sounding concerned. "How are you?" "Fine. -- what -- I mean - " I fumbled for a response. "I mean," he continued, "How are you doing with dealing with - - Garth?" "Garth. Hmm. You know, it still hurts a little to think of him. He was a great friend." "That's all he was? Just a friend? I got the impression it was more than that." "So did I!" I said. We didn't sit across the table, but rather on adjacent sides. He touched my hand again, then took it in his. "I'm afraid you'll need to explain that one, Denny." He was looking deeply into my eyes. I didn't know what he wanted me to say. So I tried my best to explain. "Well, I have always -- well as long as I can remember -- been attracted to guys. I was way to shy to do anything about it. Garth was my first -- uh -- boyfriend." I paused. "Whew! And that's the first time I have ever used that word in reference to me!" "Yeah, that's pretty hard." "Anyway, Garth was my first. And I thought I was -- uhh -- er - " "In love?" "Uh -- yeah." I finally broke our gaze. I looked down in embarrassment. I looked straight down at our hands. An electric shock went through me. "But -- but - " "Garth told me he loved you, Denny. I asked him if he was in love. He said he thought he was." I looked up, tears in my eyes. He had some too. "I can't get rid of the thought that, if not for me, he would still be alive." I said. A tear ran down my face. He reached up with his other hand and gently wiped it away. "Denny, you had nothing to do with what he did. That was his responsibility. He was torn that he was attracted to -- you -- but you were not the first. He has felt those feelings since puberty." "Still, if it wasn't for me," I shuddered and gasped, "if it wasn't for me - " He brought the hand he was holding up to his lips. "shhhh." He said, never taking his eyes from mine as his lips touched the back of my hand. "He has talked about ending it all -- before he knew you. If any thing I feel like I should have done more. We talked for hours on the phone before - - but I never really thought - " now a tear left his eye. As if on cue, I wiped it with my free hand. He smiled at that. He leaned in and our faces came ever closer. We tilted out heads. Our eyes were fused. "And have we worked up a good appetite tonight?" The waiter boomed, as he set our salads in front of us. Rob thanked him. He refilled our water from the ewer that was on the table and left. I watched him as he disappeared around the corner. Alone again. I turned back and Rob was sitting with his head down, his eyes closed, and his hands in his lap. "Amen." He said. He opened his eyes and smiled at me. "It's okay. I blessed yours too!" Nothing else was said about Garth. I felt a lot better. I still felt like I wanted to tell him more. I wanted to tell him that I really wasn't in love with Garth. Maybe he guessed it. After dinner he led me down some steps in the rocks. Down to the sandy beach. We took off our shoes, and walked along the beach. There were a few other couples there. The moon was mirrored on the water, broken by the ripples and swells. The surf seemed pure white in the moonlight. As we walked, he shyly touched then took my hand. We came to a place where the rocks went into the water. We couldn't walk any further -- or so I thought. He led me by the hand into a secluded crevice in the rocks. There was a passageway! He had to duck to get through it. I followed him. On the other side there was no one else. He pulled me to him. I didn't protest. Our mouths met in the most amazing kiss I ever experienced. "Wow!" He said. "Wow!" I said. "That was amazing!" He continued, "you're the second guy I ever kissed. I kissed Carrie a lot. I thought when I kissed Lenny -- that was the other guy -- that THAT was amazing! It -- was -- nothing -- in comparison!" All I could say was "I know!" We kissed again and then he pulled me even closer and held me there, my head against his chest. I heard a low moan burble up inside him. Then I felt a tear on my cheek -- and it wasn't mine! I looked up and he was slowly shaking his head. "I've -- I -- I've never felt anything like that before!" he whispered. Again, all I could say was, "I -- I -- know!" Our lips met one more time. I could feel his manhood against my stomach and chest, but he didn't grind it into me. He just was breathing quickly and deeply after the kiss. "We -- we -- probably better get on the road." He said. When we got back to the car, it was getting kind of cold. Funny I didn't notice until then! So he put the top up on the Vette. We got in and he started it up. He looked at me, pecked me again on the lips and pulled onto Highway 101. Notes: You that know me know how I feel about Rob. So you can guess how I feel about Denny. Comments are welcome. If you don't love Rob from my other stories, write and ask me and I will direct you to them. Please put "Denny" in the subject line, so I don't throw it away. Love, Steve s4d@hotmail.com.