Date: Tue, 24 Jul 2001 17:04:52 -0700 (PDT)
From: Stanley the Swinger <swingerstan@yahoo.com>
Subject: Devin's Story

This is a story that will deal with a young man coming to terms with
his own sexuality. This entry includes him fantasizing about another
man. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of a man being sexually
attracted to another man, or if you are of an illegal age or citizenship
to view said material, please move on. For those of you who are not in
above category, please continue to read, and please read the Author's
note at the end. thank you ~Stanley

There we stood on the street outside Cameron's dorm. I had just kissed
him on the cheek and my emotions were running like crazy, as the seconds
passed like an eternity. Had I just gone too far? I mean, this was the
first time either one of us had dated another guy and here I had gone and
kissed him. I mean it was just the cheek but it was still a kiss. He
looked at me funny, and I thought I had ruined it all.. when suddenly, he
leaned in to kiss me....

I sat up in bed again, before sighing and dropping my body back against
the bed. I looked at the clock. It was 2 AM. I wiped the sweat from my
brow and told myself to get a grip. I needed to get some sleep, and yet,
I feared that everytime I closed my eyes, I would remember that night
outside his building...

I leaned over in the bed, where my girlfriend was sleeping and put my arm
around her as I tried to forget. Forget that night. Forget that kiss.
Forget cameron... forget what I had done to him. But I couldn't. over
the last few months I had developed insomnia, because if I wasn't having
the dreams, then I had that sick feeling in my stomach for what I had
done. And I would always think about Cameron.

I removed my arm from Sarah and rolled myself off the bed. I had to be
alone for a bit. I walked out of the bedroom and to my kitchen. Being
alone was a problem in my apartment, there were really only two rooms,
the bedroom which housed my bed and my TV, and there was the kitchen,
which was really a counter, appliances, a small card table, and across
the room was a desk with my computer on it. But folded up in the corner
was a buttefly chair.

I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and unfolded the chair,
plugged my headphones into the speakers of my computer, and booted up one
of my MP3 programs. I listened for a while, drinking my water and trying
to block from my mind, the image of Cameron as he leaned for our kiss
those months ago. The harder I tried though, the harder it got.

Soon the image of our kiss became crystal clear, clearer than it had been
in my dreams.. or nightmares. I couldn't help but close my eyes and lean
my head back. I could feel my free hand begin to massage the front of my
boxer shorts, as a bulge began to grow through the thin cotton flap and
peak it's way out.

The scene kept replaying itself in my head, like someone had recorded it
over and over again.. I kissed him on the cheek.. he pulled away from
me.. and suddenly, his hands were on me and our lips were pressed
together. I felt myself lift from the chair and walk towards the
bathroom, without even thinking about it. I closed the door and turned
on the light, and before I knew it, I had dropped to my knees in front of
the toilet and helped myself out of the flap on my boxers. I could feel
my hand rubbing up and down myself, thickening, hardening. I could feel
my leg start to spasm, and my skin begin to tingle...

and suddenly the image changed. It was no longer the kiss on the street
outside his dorm building, but instead it was the moment, two days later,
when we were standing in his dorm.. and he told me that he never wanted
to see me again. The day I told him that I had just been using him... to
get over my girlfriend. That I only thought I was attracted to men
because the thought of women filled me with such pain because I always
remembered Sarah. I remembered the tears running down his face when he
realized that he had turned his view of himself and the world upside down
because I had asked him out on a date... and it was all bullshit.

and as quickly as it had begun to build, my pending orgasm died down. My
leg no longer tightened, my skin no longer tingled, and I no longer
needed to open the flap on my boxer shorts. I took my hands and ran them
through my hair, as I stood up from the floor, and turned on the faucet,
splashing water in my face.

I looked in the mirror into my bedroom, where Sarah was sleeping. I
looked in the mirror and all I saw was a liar. I had lied to Cameron
when I asked him out. I had lied to Sarah by not telling her about
Cameron... but I beleive what was making me lose sleep at nights, was
that I was lying to myself.

Author's Note: I received a lot of great responses to my story "My Date
with a Boy" and I have been wanting to write another story, but I just
couldn't seem to decide what I wanted to write about. As hinted to in MDWB
through Cameron's roomate Jared, I myself have an affinity for
crossdressing, and I considered writing a story that dealt with that, but
did not get it off the ground. Also I knew that Cameron in MDWB really
didn't spend any time admitting to himself that he was gay, he just
realized it suddenly, which is kind of unrealistic. So I also considered
writing a story about a guy very much in the closet looking for his first
homosexual encounter, again without much avail. I have since written a few
short erotic stories more to keep the mind turning than anything else. Most
of these I was unhappy with, and didn't even send in to Nifty. So I went an
re-read MDWB to see what about it spoke to me when writing it. And I
stumbled across an idea. Devin, the young man who made Cameron realize the
truth about his sexuality, and then later broke his heart. I realized most
of my reader's probably hated Devin, because since the story was written
through Cameron's point of view, he was shown just in a very negative
light, So I decided to let my readers (and newcomers) see Devin from his
side, and maybe show that he isn't such an evil bastard afterall. I hope
you enjoyed chapter one of Devin's Story and if you have any comments,
please email them to me at SwingerStan@yahoo.com