Date: Thu, 28 Jun 2007 23:45:25 -0600
From: Jan deLeon <thisisfrack@hotmail.com>
Subject: Escape - part 1

Disclaimer: This story contains portrayals of homosexual acts and
lifestyles. There may be references to, or explicit descriptions of sex
between consenting adults.  If homosexuality, sexually explicit language,
or swearing offends you, or if reading materials that contains these topics
violates any law or personal or religious beliefs, don't read it.  If you
are under the legal age in your location of residence, don't read it
because it's illegal.

--------------------------------------------

Hey there, this is my first story... I guess a little introduction is to be
had. This story is being used as an expression of the amazement I hold for
the repercussions of a single decision, that, and I really didn't want to
study for finals. This story is a story of me, had I chosen to live a
different life. People who know me will see that the character presented in
the story is who I truly am, but the thoughts and actions do not in anyway
represent any feelings I currently have.  Also, any events that are
depicted in the story are somewhat truth-based.  This piece of writing
takes some real life stories of things that have happened to me, but mixing
it with a little bit of fiction. I think that's all. Hope you enjoy it,
constructive criticism is appreciated. If you don't like it, then that's
okay, I really don't mind. (Just don't tell me that I suck or whatever,
because that's just not really nice)

Last thing, I'm a hopeless romantic, so that's what this story will mostly
be: a romantic/love story. If you're expecting something else (sex, orgies,
and whatnot), I'm sorry to disappoint you. Some of those things will show
up, but it won't be the overwhelming content of it.

----------------------------------------------

"Escape -- part 1"


 "You know, you haven't gone out once since we've been here Coop."

 "I know. It's not a big deal Justin... I'm used to it."

 "Then just come with me, just this once... you might enjoy it."

 "I highly doubt that."

 "You'll never know if you don't go. And besides, you can always do
whatever you're doing later."

 "Just don't expect me to drink or anything..."

 "Yeah, yeah... you don't have to tell me twice. You know Coop, for being
your roommate, you don't seem to think I listen to anything you tell me."

 "Oh shush Justin... you've won already... I'm coming. Let me just get
dressed."  I said begrudgingly, struggling to put on my jeans on. I can't
help it if I like to do work in boxers and wife beater. It was so natural
to me, and I was never self-conscious about it in front of my roommate.

 "You don't need to do that, you're fine just how you are." He said
smilingly.

 "Haha, you're funny... and a perv. Now let's go."


 I put on a green polo, grabbed a jacket and we both headed out the door,
to some location unknown to me. We make our way into the Boston night,
admiring the sights and sounds that I've secluded myself from for the more
than three months.

 "How can you be so comfortable in boxers and a t-shirt when it's so cold?"
Justin asked me on the way there.

 "I can't help it... I'm a SoCal boy. We wear shorts and flip flops in the
winter.  The weather is rarely, if ever, that bad." I replied, which is
true. If it rained for two or more days, it was called the biggest storm
they've seen all year.

 "Anyways, we're here. Let's go inside. I'll stay with you if you want
Coop."

 "No thanks mom, I'm a big boy now... I'll be fine. Go get your drink on."


We make our way inside the apartment, and my roommate makes his way to the
drinks. I took a soda, like a good boy, and found a seat on the couch. I
looked around the room and realized that I don't really know anybody around
the room. All I did see was Justin playing beer pong, which from a
bystander's perspective is rather boring. Just as I continue my scan of the
room, someone sat next to me. I was so startled that I nearly dropped my
drink.

 "Oh shit! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm Xander by the way,
and what's your name?"

 `Wow... this guy sure is very straightforward.' I thought as I scanned the
eager guy sitting next to me, waiting for my reply. `Wow, he's also very
cute and tall... and white.  Just my type. I'm looking forward to this
conversation.'

 "Cooper, my friends call me Coop." I said smilingly.

 "Hmm, I never would've guessed. I thought you were going to say..."

 "An ASIAN name?" I said, cutting him off before he got the chance to say
anything that would offend me. I had already heard that same comment so
many times before, so it never really bothered me. "My parents are very
modern, they're not your typical Filipino family."

 "Oh... sorry. I didn't mean it that way. Well that answers my second
question."  He said as he laughed at my mind reading skills. "So why are
you here?  You haven't really moved from that sofa since you've sat down."

 "It's a very comfortable sofa, what can I say?"

 "Haha. You're cute... and funny too!" He smiled back at me.


 I stood up to take off my jacket, not without raising my shirt a little,
showing him a little of my stomach as well as the waistband of my
boxers. `I'm going to try every trick that I know with this guy. Thanks a
lot Cher.' Cher being the character from the movie Clueless who once said:
"Sometimes you have to show a little skin, because this reminds guys of
being naked, and then they think of sex." `I'll get him wanting more of me
by the end of this night.'

 "Thanks." I said, giving him a quick wink in the process.

 He kind of hesitated, signaling my prowess in flirtation, before speaking
again. "So who are you here with?"

 "My roommate, Justin." I said pointing in the direction of the tall white
guy, straight from the pages of the Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue, downing
his next beer. It appeared as if he was really into the game. "Boys will be
boys, won't they? And who are you with?"

 "Haha, yes they are. Anyways, I came with my boyfriend Evan." He said,
also pointing in the same direction as my roommate but focused on the
person Justin was playing against, a miniature version of my roommate. Same
build, same style of clothing, but about half a foot shorter.

 "Oh." I said, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice and face.
`Well, it looks like it's going to be another lonely night.' "He
seems... nice.  So I take it that you know Justin then too?"

 "Hmm, not really. He's never really introduced to any of his friends.  But
apparently those two have been friends since high school."

 "I see... So where you from?" I figured if I wasn't going to be able to do
anything with him, I might as well make the most of this conversation.

 "New York, but I'm going to school here. B.U."

 "That's cool, that's where I go to school. What are you taking?"

 "Chem Engineering."

 "That's crazy, me too!" `Great,' I thought to myself, `now I have to have
classes with him. I'm going to fail because I can't stop looking at his
cute face. How am I supposed to tell me parents that the reason I flunked
out of college was because of a cute boy in my class.' At least I can tell
them he had the cutest dimple on his left cheek and a smile that would make
anybody, boy or girl, weak in the knees.

 "Come to think of it, I HAVE seen you in my classes before. But you always
leave right when class is over, so I never get the chance to talk to you."

 "Yeah, I guess you can say I'm a focused person. I haven't really been out
much since I've gotten here. Justin persuaded me into coming."

 We talked to each other the rest of the night, just simple mindless
chatter. We talked about jobs we've had over the summer, he as a lifeguard,
me as a volleyball coach at my local high school. I guess it was nice to
finally talk to someone other than Justin, who was more interested in
talking about cars, girls, and sports, none of which I was really
interested in.

"Is there a reason you never leave your room?" Xander asked me.

"Yeah... it's a long story. I'm sure you don't want to hear it." I told
him.

"No, by all means go right ahead."

Just as I was contemplating on telling him my story, Justin came back,
struggling to sit next to me. I could tell that he was basically close to
passing out, a sight that I've seen far too often since we've shared a dorm
room. He reeked of alcohol and could barely maintain his balance.


"Hey buddy, you ready to go?" I asked him. He nodded, and I helped him up
and we headed towards the door.

 "It was nice talking to you Cooper." Xander said.

 "Same here Xander."

 "I'll see you around?"

 "Yeah... sure. I'll see ya."

 "Don't forget... you owe me a story."

 "No prob."

 With that I carried my drunken roommate all the way to our room, taking
about twice as long as we did to get there because of all the `pit stops'
and the fact that a 5'7" person can only help a 6'4" guy so quickly without
struggling himself.  Once we got in, I helped him take off his clothes,
save for his grey boxer briefs that could barely contain his manhood, and
helped him into bed. `God, he's so fucking sexy. Too bad he's straight' I
thought to myself.

"Thanks Coop, you know you're a pal. Hope you had fun." Justin managed to
say.

"Yeah... thanks Justin. Seems like you did too. A little too much if you
ask me." I was referring to his intoxicated state, not the growing bulge he
was sporting in front of me. It took me every ounce of willpower not to
help him out with it. But then again, that would really complicate things,
now wouldn't it? By this point, I've already overcome any attraction I've
had towards him. He's been like a brother to me ever since we moved in.  A
very hot brother, one that I wouldn't mind taking advantage of. But alas,
he's been my only real friend since I flew in, so there's no need to fuck
things up with him. At least he'll always be really tasty eye candy. He
knows it too, and doesn't mind playing that role sometimes.  Secretly, I
think he wants me... he just doesn't know it yet.

I waited for his response, but realized that he had passed out already. I
stripped into my boxers, and slipped under my covers. I couldn't get Xander
out of my head as I lay in bed.  `Ehh, he's passed out. He won't move until
2 in the afternoon. At least I can work this out of my system.' I thought
as I slipped down my boxers and began playing with the hard piece of flesh
sticking up in the air. I thought of how cute he was with his one dimple on
his left cheek.  And his hair was brown, and had that Jewfro thing going
for him. When you hear the word `Jewfro', think Seth Cohen of the O.C. Now
that was a nice head of hair, and exactly like the one on Xander. Hot guys
never really appealed to me, it's as if they thought they were too good for
everyone except other hot people. But he was cute, the good kind of
cute. The kind that I just wanted to hug and lay in bed with, wearing
nothing underneath the sheets.

Just as my thoughts seemed to get out of control, with images of the sexual
escapades I had envisioned us in partaking, I felt the tingle of my
fast-approaching orgasm. I curled my toes as I shot onto my neck. `I went a
lot further than I usually do. I think Xander may have something to do with
it. Oh well, even if he's got a boyfriend, at least I have my fantasies.' I
told myself as I basked in the afterglow of my sexual release before
getting up to clean myself off. `I'm sure I'll see him again. Whatever...'
and with that I yawned and headed off to sleep.

~*-----*~-----~*-----*~-----~*-----*~-----~*-----*~-----~*-----*~-----~*

I woke up at 9 the next morning. Even on a weekend, I always got up at
around the same time, part of it due to routine from the rest of the week,
and the other part from weekends back home where my parents would force me
out of bed so we could eat breakfast together.  I got up and decided to
call my parents, who, despite the time difference, would still be up
anyways. They were always out of bed by 6:00, everyday for the past...
well, ever since I can remember.

"How are things at school, anak (child: pronounced ah-knock)?" My mom
asked. She was always the worried one, making sure that I had everything
that I needed and that her little boy is taken care of.

"Fine, just tired, ma."

"It's because you've partying all night, anak. I can tell. Mama has eyes
everywhere."

`Damn, she always saw right through me.' I remember back in high school
when I had my first girlfriend, whom I had for over two months, I was about
to tell my mom about her when she said: `I already know about you and
her. I don't like her.' It was the first of many occasions where she would
take the words right out of my mouth.

"But I'm letting you know, though, that I didn't drink..."

"Uh-huh... sure."

"But I'm actually telling the truth this time."

"See? This time, I know you boy, and you can't get away with anything."

I could already see that I wasn't going to win. But it was always fun
pushing her buttons.

"Okay ma, I'm gonna go now. I still have to study today. I'll talk to you
later. Bye ma."

"Bye. One more thing."

"Yes?" I was anticipating another comment about me or my life or something.

"When are you going to bring a boyfriend back so I can meet him?"

"Boyfriend? Ma, what are you talking about?" I asked, trying to deflect any
question on my sexuality. At the time being, it was fun being away from
home because I can actually be myself. Even with liberal and
non-traditional parents, I never found the right time to tell them anything
about myself in that subject matter.

"I told you, anak, I can see right through you. You don't have to say
anything else. Love you."

"Love you too ma."

With that, I hung up the phone, thinking about that last conversation with
my mom. `I guess I don't have to pretend around them anymore. Hmmph, I
guess I don't really have to say anything else to them about that.' Coming
out to my parents was lot simpler than I had originally envisioned, with
threats coming from my dad and my mom crying.  Instead, I got a question
about bringing a boyfriend home, which meant that they must already
know. My guess is that they got the `vibe' from me too. The one that
everybody gets around me and makes them assume I'm a cock lover. Not that
it's not true, but it's still something that I've always found interesting,
if not slightly disturbing.


The rest of the morning was uneventful, morning run, breakfast, and a
shower before I headed back to my computer. Just as I was about to start
studying for my midterm on Wednesday, I checked my facebook, the bane of
me. Out of the twenty-four hours in the day, at least five is spent on
facebook. It's like myspace, but a lot less complicated and more
straightforward.  Besides, it was always fun to facebook-stalk some cute
guy that you happen to meet somewhere. Facebook deserves a story all its
own, but not this one.  Anyways, I checked and saw that I had gotten a
message from someone.

"Hey there Cooper, it's Xander, just wanting to say hi and that I enjoyed
the conversation we had last night. The point of this message... you have
Mickowsky for chem right? If you do, and since there's a midterm coming up
on Wednesday, I was wondering if you wanted to study with me. It can be
somewhere fun, like... not the library or the dorm room. =) Anyways, call
me at this number if you wanted to do that. --Xander"

I sat at the computer, figuring out what I should do. I know that he had a
boyfriend and all, and that his boyfriend was a friend of my roommate, so
that pretty much complicated things.  That, and the fact that I had morals
and that there's no way I would ever come between two
lovers... deliberately. On the other hand, I did have a midterm to study
for, and it would be nice to compare notes and have someone to study
with. `I'm there to study... nothing else.  Work first, play later' is what
I told myself when I called him. Despite this, signals were going off in my
brain that something wasn't right.

"Sounds good, see you later at the coffee shop on campus?" He asked me.

"That's fine with me. See you at 3:00." I hung up the phone and started
reading for my class when Justin, finally awake from his drunken stupor
from the night before said,

"Aww, someone has a date today. That's cute."

"Shut up. You're lucky you made it back in one piece last night.  You're
welcome. And it's not a date."

"That doesn't mean you still can't have fun." Justin said, winking at me.

"Haha, yeah... because studying for a chem midterm is SOO much fun." I said
with a twinge of sarcasm and annoyance that everybody that knew me seemed
to pick up rather quickly.  Besides, there's something about this whole
situation with Xander that had bothered me. I couldn't really place my
finger on it, but there's something off with the turn of events. All it did
was put me in a depressed mood, the kind that I've been used to
experiencing for the past seven years.

"Wow, someone's being a little bitchy today, aren't they? What gives?" He
seemed rather earnest in his question. Maybe I'm not that hard to
read. I've always thought myself to be a reserved person that could contain
any emotions, but I guess that isn't true when even the straight guy can
tell when there was something wrong.

"It's nothing... seriously." Even if they could read me, I know that if I
can stop the conversation, that they might get the clue and not pursue it
any further.  But no such luck today.

"I know that we've only met three months ago when we moved in, but that
doesn't mean you're not a close friend of mine. And besides," he said with
a grin, "I'm all you have. So spill." This time, he was serious, and also
right in that assessment. In the time I've been at Boston, I haven't really
pursued any relationships with anybody, that is, except for Justin. I never
really thought that we would actually get along, let alone be friends, good
friends at that.

He had this whole All-American thing going for him, tall, white,
handsome. Big man on campus at his high school in the midwest, prom king,
and voted most popular. He was used to getting everything he wanted, and he
had tons of friends to boot.  There's wasn't a time that he didn't have
someone with him. He had the life enviable, the one that couldn't get any
better.

I, on the other hand, was an Asian boy that was never the best at anything,
focused on school.  I came from a high school where there were the majority
of the students were both: a) Asian, and b) overachievers. As if taking a
full load of classes wasn't enough, they were also presidents of various
clubs on campus, as well as captains of their championship winning varsity
sports. So as a person that never reached that level of accomplishment in
my high school life, I did the best that I could with what I had to work
with and found myself with a scholarship to go to Boston University and
very little friends in the process. I couldn't get out of that high school
fast enough, and boarded a plane for the east coast.  Walking into the dorm
room and seeing this fine specimen of white boy didn't do anything for my
self-confidence, but getting to know him made me feel more relaxed, as if I
finally made a friend. Despite our physical and personal differences, he
was a good friend to me, better than any friend I've made, past or present.

"It's nothing really... just boy issues." Was all I could really let out. I
knew that there was something more to it, but I just wanted to mull over
things on my own.

"Are you talking about that one guy you were talking to last night?"

"Yeah. You know, for a party animal like you, you seem to have a really
good memory."

"Well I can't help it if it just adds to the total package." He flexed a
bicep and smiled his toothy grin. He was getting cocky, and I could already
see it coming.  Normally, this would lead to one of those conversations
where we would insult each other for the next thirty minutes, but not this
time.

"Yeah, I guess so." I said with a slight smile. I didn't really have the
energy to try and think of something back. Thoughts of Xander and the right
thing to do kept plaguing my mind. All the while it made me more depressed,
realizing how lonely I've been feeling.

"Now I KNOW that something is wrong with you... what gives?"

"Nothing's wrong, I already said." I tried my best to fight back the tears
in my eyes. So I grabbed my headphones and began listening to the same
songs I've listened to when I felt this way. I just grabbed my book and
began reading, hoping to drown any sense of sorrow that lingered within
me. Defeated, Justin got up out of bed to take a shower.

"Well, I guess I know when I've lost." He said before closing the door.

By that point, there was nothing stopping the tears. I put my hands to my
face and felt the tears stream down my face. It was as if I was draining
any problem that had bothered me away from me. It wasn't even the whole
Xander thing that really got to me. It was the fact that there was
something missing from my life. The fact that I woke up alone, day after
day, clutching my body pillow as if it were a real person. People, aside
from my family, were never very kind to me, especially in high school, and
made me feel unwanted.  For once, I just wanted someone to notice me, and
be with me. Be with me even when they have other friends, to not be cast
aside when `someone better' came along. I wanted to feel included.  What I
wanted was love.  All of a sudden, I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was
Justin. He had witnessed my emotional breakdown, and I felt bad subjecting
him to this wreck that was me.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'll always be here for you, even if
you don't think so. Just let me know if and when you're ready to talk." He
told me as he went to get the towel that he forgot the first time out. He
left me in the room once more, pondering about this relationship I had with
him. I knew that after crying I would feel a lot better, because I had done
it so many times before. That sense of overwhelming sorrow was no stranger
to me, and I never really figured out why.

Justin, however, kept things in perspective for me. I knew that he was my
friend, my best friend here, and that allowing myself to wallow in
self-pity would do nothing for me. I got a drink of water to calm myself
down even further before continuing my studies. Twenty minutes later,
Justin came back from his shower, still in his very sexy towel that hung
low on his waist.

"You know if you wanted to jack off, you could've told me. I would have
given you the minute that you needed. Just kidding. But not really." I said
to him, hoping that he would get the sense that I was feeling a lot better.

"Glad to know that someone is feeling better. You doing okay, bud?" He
asked.

"Fine... and thanks."

"Thanks for what?"

"Just for being here for me... I appreciate it." I got up from my desk to
give him a hug.

"No prob, Coop." I wrapped my arms around his waist, making sure to grab a
bit of the towel. As he reciprocated the hug, I pulled away from him, also
taking his towel away, leaving a very wet, naked, and tall white boy in my
room. "Hey asshole! If you wanted to suck my dick, you could've asked!"

"No thanks, I prefer my dick to not be so..."

"So long?"

"Ha, yeah... sure, if by long you mean nonexistent." Which in fact was not
true, because he had the hottest looking cock that I had ever seen. It was
neither the longest, nor the thickest, but it was just the right
combination. If I was the Goldilocks of penises, Justin would be the baby
bear, if the baby bear had the best penis in the world, in a
non-pedophilic/bestiality sort of way.

"Don't be jealous of me small fry."

"Hey, can we not talk about your penis right now? I haven't eaten lunch
yet, but I still want to be able to."

I could tell that Justin was relieved to see me smile and joke around, even
if he was still naked. He finally got dressed, which was a shame, and we
decided to grab lunch at a local restaurant.


 We made it to the restaurant and ordered our food in relative silence.  It
was awkward, to say the least. Justin kept looking at me, but I didn't know
what to do, so I just looked up, smiled, and ate my food. I was trying to
figure out what to tell him, but I was just content with the company.

 "You don't really have to say anything you know." Justin said to me,
before taking a bite into his scrambled eggs. "I just don't want you to
feel like you don't have anybody to talk to. You're a nice guy and I like
you..." I looked up and raised my eyebrows, as if to say `Oh really?'
"...in a non-homosexual way." He said, finishing his statement, which
caused a noticeable drop of the eyebrows. "I just don't like seeing you
like this."

 He was sincere and I could tell just by looking at him. As intimidating as
he looked, which was mainly due to his height and physique, he was big
softy in the middle. He could be the jock and the sensitive guy, it just
took a little gay to bring it out of him. He had a way of just looking at
you with those green eyes that could put a person at ease.

 "Thanks, it means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me..." I told him as he
returned the gesture I gave him earlier. "...in a homosexual way." We both
laughed and continued eating our food. "I know I've been going through a
lot of shit right now, but you've been really helpful. Even if I know I
have to change, it's going to take me a while to just get over all my
issues."

 "I'm not asking you to feel better overnight, just that you know you have
a shoulder to cry on... unless I have a date." He said.

 "But the only thing I've seen you be intimate with is your right hand." I
said rather playfully.

 "Haha, funny. Says the guy with sex drawer." I blushed at that last
comment because I thought I had always kept it locked. As ashamed of it as
I was, I was also curious of the fact that he even knew about it.

 "How DO you know about it then?" I asked, which caused him to blush as
well.

 "I... uh..." He stammered as he grew even redder.

 "Uh-huh, yeah. Knew it." I smiled knowing that I had won this battle.
There was nothing in there that would be suited for his two person sexual
practices. "You could have just asked me, could have saved you the
embarrassment."

 We finally finished our meal and decided to walk around the city for
little bit before I had to go back and study for my midterm. I still hadn't
had the chance to talk to him about the Xander predicament, but I figured I
would save it until it became a real issue, which it wasn't. I made it a
point to not really bring up my episode before lunch, and we just talked
about life in general. By the time we got back, Justin and I had gotten to
know each other even better than before. It was also time for me to meet up
with Xander to study.

 "Thanks for lunch Justin, it was the best date I ever had." I told him
with the utmost honesty. Like I said, my personal life revolved around
school and so I had never been on a `real date' with anybody.

 "No prob sweetie. Now don't go cheating on me with that study date of
yours."

 "Of course not, honey." I reassured him.

 "Thanks, now get out of here before I kick your ass." And with that, I
grabbed my study materials and headed for the coffee shop.

~*-----*~-----~*-----*~-----~*-----*~-----~*-----*~-----~*-----*~-----~*

 By the time I had gotten there, Xander had already set up shop at a corner
table, notebooks, textbooks, workbooks, any kind of book one would need for
a chemistry class.  He was busy working on a problem and you could see the
amount of concentration he put into that problem. I ordered something,
something decaffeinated because that stuff had a way of messing up my
already fucked up sleep cycle. I just needed something to drink and eat
while I studied.

 As I got my order, I walked up to the table just as Xander yelled out in
cheer for a correctly solved problem. He was surprised by his own
excitement, and by the fact that everybody in the coffee shop had turned to
see what the cause of celebration was for. He had blushed after that
realization, but seemed okay with the situation as soon as he saw me. He
looked cute, wearing a grey long-sleeved shirt underneath a white
Abercrombie and Fitch polo with a pair of slightly destroyed jeans. He was
the epitome of everything that I was looking for in someone, physically.

 "So I'm guessing you got the question right?" I asked, already knowing the
answer but not knowing the right thing to say at the time.

 He looked up and smiled. "Yeah, I did. First one in a long time. You came
just in time."

 "Sorry about that... I just needed to get something to eat while I
study. I think I have an oral fixation or something."

 "Oooh, yeah, I hope you do." He said to me in a rather interesting
manner. I was intrigued by that comment, because as far as I can remember,
and considering the fact that I had only met him yesterday, he had a
boyfriend. As much as I would like to pursue something with him, I still
had morals. Besides, I came to study and not to flirt with the cute white
boy in front of me. Aside from morals, I also had self-control, a lot of it
actually. It kept me focused on the task at hand, which was to study for my
midterm.

 "So yeah, I'm pretty good with this stuff, so if you have any questions,
just ask me and I'll try my best." Diverting the attention away from me and
to what I thought was the real purpose of the meeting.


 We studied at the coffee shop for a little more than four hours, only
talking about the periodic table, molecules, and any other boring stuff
pertaining to chemistry. It was a productive time and it was good to have
some outside contact, despite any ulterior motives.  By the time we were
finished for the day, it was already late in the evening and Xander offered
to take me out to dinner, his treat. I was always up for a free meal, and
with a cute guy nonetheless, so I of course agreed and decided to take me
out to a Thai restaurant a couple blocks from the coffee shop.

 "Is this your first time at a Thai restaurant Cooper"

 "No, my family likes to try different types of restaurants, so we've been
to a few local Thai restaurants back home."

 "That's cool. My family was never like that, I only heard about this place
from Evan."

 "Oh. Well it seems like he has good taste." I said. `Why do you have to
bring up the boyfriend again? Are you TRYING to rub it in my face?' I asked
myself, growing more perturbed by this situation.

 "You know... you still owe me a story from last night. So why do you not
like going out and having fun?" I wasn't really paying attention to him at
that point, mainly due to his last statement and any leftover feelings from
earlier in the day.

 "Huh? What? I'm sorry."

 "That's alright. I said, `you owe me a story.'" He smiled at me and looked
at me very intently. It was slightly reassuring, but his gray eyes were
hiding something. I always thought of myself as a perceptive person,
despite my apparent transparency, and there was something about him that
yearned for something. But then again, I was probably willing something
into happening. He was a nice guy, and I wouldn't mind pursuing something
with him under different circumstances.

 "Oh yeah. My bad. What do you want to hear about first?"

 "Let's start with your family, since you mentioned them."

 "Alright, that sounds good. My family and I moved to the United States
when I was 5 and have lived in San Diego since."

 "That explains the flip flops in this kind of weather." I laughed and
looked down at what I was wearing. I hadn't realized that I had dressed
liked I normally did back home, a maroon polo, jeans, and my flip flops. In
San Diego, it would be winter and the coldest it would get was 65 degrees
Fahrenheit in the daytime. There have only been a few occasions where I
absolutely needed to wear a thick jacket with some jeans, and most of those
times were when it rained.

Today, the weather wasn't bad at all, if anything it was just slightly
chilly. It was only the fall here in Boston, and for me it hadn't reached
the point of changing what I wore. I knew that we would be out until it got
dark, so I thought ahead and decided to wear jeans.

"Haha, I guess. Is there anything else you want to know about me?"

"How about your social life here, or lack thereof?"

"Wow... straight to the point, huh? That's alright, and besides I did owe
you an explanation."

With that I delved into the story of my life in high school and experiences
with the crappy people there. The lack of real friends, the lack of self
esteem, and the overwhelming desire to leave that part of my life behind. I
told him that although I had left it all behind in San Diego, its influence
on me was tremendous, like I couldn't fully escape its grasp.  I told him
that when I got to college, I shut myself out of everything because of all
this baggage I was carrying. I never wanted to put myself in the position
to get hurt again, and that's what I've done since I've gotten here.

When I was done, I looked at him and saw him look very overwhelmed by my
story. He grabbed my hand and stared into my eyes, which normally would've
been filled with tears.  But after the emotionally draining morning, the
words just slipped out, having no effect on me.  I looked at him and just
smiled.

"I'm fine now Xander. Don't worry about it. I have a good friend in my
roommate, and that's how I'm coping." I don't know who I was convincing
that I would be okay, Xander or myself. I figured that the more I said it,
the more I believed it, and the better I would become.

"It's just... wow... I... uh... just don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

We finished dinner in a manner that resembled my lunch with Justin.  Xander
would look at me, I would look up and smile, he smiled back, and then we
would continue eating. This cycle would repeat itself until we were both
finished.


After dinner, we decided to just head back to the dorms and call it a
night. Night had already come and filled the sky with stars. It was getting
cold and I began to shiver just a little bit. All of a sudden I felt an arm
reach over me as Xander pulled me close.

"I guess someone's not used to the Boston weather. Too much being spent
inside." He said, laughing at the situation at hand.

He reminded me of Justin in so many ways, tall and comforting. It put me at
ease for a moment, before my thoughts reverted to the one complication that
had bothered me, the fact that he was with someone. I, however, was very
cold and appreciated the warmth that he shared. Xander wasn't buff at all,
just tall and kind of awkward, in a cute kind of way.  We never really
talked much on the way back to my room, just lots of looking. It felt like
I had been walking with him forever when we finally reached the door to my
room. I put the key in and unlocked the door when I turned back to look at
him. He was leaning against the wall with just a small smile across his
face.

"Thanks for this afternoon, it was really helpful." I told him.  "Thanks
for tonight as well, I'll take care of the bill the next time."

"You don't have to worry about that." He said, all the while maintaining
eye contact with me.

"I'm sure we can work something out."

"Huh? What are you...?" All of a sudden a pair of lips came towards mine
and we kissed. He pulled away and left me speechless, flustered, and
blushing. I looked at Xander who seemed shocked by his own behavior, like
he had committed a crime.

"Uh... goodnight." Said Xander as he grabbed his stuff and headed out
towards the entrance.

"Yeah... uh-huh... sure..." I said as I headed inside my room. Justin was
sitting on his bed, watching something on the television. He looked up,
well not really up considering how tall he is, and looked at the blushing
boy at the door.

"So I'm guessing that things went well." He said.

"Yeah... sure..." I said, making my way towards my desk. "There's just one
problem."

"Yeah what is it? He reminds you too much of me and you're afraid that
you're only using him because you can't have me?" Even I had to laugh at
that last comment as I got ready for bed.

"Haha, someone's jealous."

"In your dreams Coop."

"Well at least they won't be WET dreams Justin." He blushed at that last
comment. He knew what I was referring to.

"Hey, that was one time, and that couldn't be helped. We had a bet going
on."

"Uh-huh, sure. If by `bet' you mean the fact that you hadn't had any in two
days. You know even rabbits don't get off as much as you."

"I'm pretty sure someone had helped me into getting off." He shot a glare
at me with one raised eyebrow. `Ha, I wish that had happened.' I told
myself. I knew that this banter would get out of control in a minute, so I
decided to end it.

"No seriously though, there's only one thing wrong with him."

"What is it?"

"He has a boyfriend."

"Oh... wow... yeah, that's kind of a biggie."

"And you know what's worse?"

"What's that?"

"You know his boyfriend."

"Really? Who?"

"Evan."

"You're telling me that you kissed Jared?"

"Who's Jared? No I kissed Xander."

"I don't know who Xander is, but there's something that I should tell about
Evan. As much as he is my friend, that guys a whore, and not even the good
kind. If he's not getting together with two different guys, he has three
other girls on the side. Guy's got issues and it's not the first time I
told him about it."

"Wow..."

"So I don't know about you and Xander, but I'm guessing you shouldn't
really worry about Evan. Even if he IS dating Xander, there are tons of
other people that he's sleeping around with, and I'm pretty sure that they
don't know about each other."

I was speechless, and thrilled. I guess I didn't have anything to really
worry about then. But at the same time, I knew Xander's actions were
inappropriate in the context of the situation, and he would have a
difficult time with his decision. All I had to do was talk to him and tell
him what I knew. I had a lot of thoughts running through my head as I
finally got into bed, thinking of what I had gotten myself into. On one
hand, it was exciting, I had finally found someone that I wanted to be
with, but on the other, I was wondering if I was setting myself up for a
fall, like I did in high school. After much restlessness, I finally settled
down long enough to go to sleep. It had only been a weekend, but it was
more exciting than the rest of my three months in Boston.