Date: Mon, 04 Oct 2004 23:00:45 +0000
From: Brandon Michell <ontopofit72@hotmail.com>
Subject: Figuring it all out: Chapter Three

The author holds exclusive copyright (2004) to this story.  It may not be
reproduced in any form without the specific written permission of the
author.  It is assigned to the Nifty Archive under the terms of their
submission agreement but it may not be copied or archived on any other site
without the written permission of the author.

Thanks for all those who have stuck with the story so far.  I'm trying to
get to the good stuff I promise!  However I need to warn you that this
chapter is a little intense and some stuff gets discussed in it that might
not be the most pleasant.  Skip it if all you want is a quick jerk!

This is story partially based on fact and partially on fiction.  I've
appreciated everyone's feedback so far and please feel free to drop me an
email with any suggestions/comments or whatever.  Also I'll apologize now
as I serve as my own proof reader for any mistakes that I've made in the
writing!


I woke up the next morning completely wide awake.  I think it's obvious to
state at this point that I get excited about really little and stupid
things and so to have the internet and my own computer was almost too much
for me to bear.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time that morning to get online and see if my
personal had received any responses.  All day at school I was forced to
endure classes that just seemed abnormally boring.  I can remember sitting
in math thinking that this day was never going to end.  All I wanted to do
was go home and play on my computer.  Of course it wasn't that simple... It
never really is... After my last class I had football practice and it was
obvious to everyone that my heart wasn't quite in what I was doing.

My dad notice first and because of the type of person he is it meant a lot
more yelling and punishments than anyone else not focused would have
gotten.  I love my Dad with all my heart but damn that man is an ass at
times.

Finally, my day was over and I could go home.  OH BABY was I excited.  I
think I went straight through the front door and down to my room without
saying anything to my Mom.  I logged onto the internet and went immediately
to my email account.  Imagine my surprise when I had actually received
three emails.  I quickly got up from the desk and went and made sure the
door to my room was shut.  After making sure that I wouldn't be disturbed I
sat back down and opened the first email.

Dear Greg,

"I just read your email and you sound like a really cool guy.  I live about
an hour from you and am in high school too.  I can imagine what you're
going through and it would be cool to hang out sometime if you want and
just talk and different things.  I don't really have any friends either and
so if you want to email me back and we can keep talking.  Also here's my
ICQ (remember when ICQ was cool? HA HA) Number and you can talk to me on it
if you want.  Oh yeah and for your information I'm about 6'8'' 200 #'s
super skinny and I have spiky black hair.  Oh and I'm 18 too.  Well I hope
to hear from you soon, and take it easy dude."

Sincerely, Jeff

Pretty cool I thought...

Sounds like I nice guy yada yada yada... Let's see what else I got was
exactly the thought going through my head.  I was quickly learning how to
be a gay man.  Keep your options open!

Email two was nothing like what I was expecting after reading the email
from Jeff.

Greg-

Hey what's up?  I live near you and read your profile... You sound like
someone I'd be interested in.  We need to hook up.  Are you a top or a
bottom?  Dude I'm so horny and I just love hooking up with young guys.  Let
me know give me a call (###) ### - ####.

BoB

Well that was a bit different than the first one.  I wasn't really sure
what the hell he was talking about with the whole top or bottom thing but
whatever...  I saved both those emails and moved onto the third one.

The third email was for some sort of porn website.  I hate to this day how
they spam your email account.  I deleted it and actually looked around in
my empty room thinking that someone was in the closet watching me or that
I'd been seen through my open window.  Do you ever do that or am I the only
one?  Anyways, I decided that I'd be daring and write back to the two guys
who had written me.  I didn't know what the hell I was doing and didn't
know what the world of gay men was like and so I figured I'd just answer
anyone that was interested in my and my profile.  I mean I told them that I
was just interested in friends so obviously people wouldn't email me just
looking for sex.

At this point in my life I have to admit that although I had raging libido
I was pretty apathetic towards sex.  I just didn't have a whole lot of
interest in it.  I knew that most of my friends were doing the deed but
call me an elitist or old fashioned but I just didn't feel like my
virginity was something that I wanted to give up that easily.  I really
wanted it to be special, to be something that I could hold onto and
cherish.

I emailed both he guys back and basically told them the same thing: yeah I
was interested in meeting to hang out.  Get back to me when you can and
that I was new to this whole thing and really shy.

I think at that point I honestly didn't think that anyone would write back
to me.  I hadn't really grasped the idea yet that people who send you
emails on the internet truly are real and there isn't some sort of wizard
or puppeteer on the other end that's pulling strings.  I just didn't think
anyone would be interested in me.  Didn't seem logical.  I wasn't anything
special.  I wasn't talented in any sort of special way and I new a lot more
guys at my high school that were a lot hotter than I was, so why anyone
would be interested in even meeting to hang out with me never even passed
my mind as a possibility.

Well as I'm sure you guys are dying to know the two guys did get back to
me.
  I had other emails that popped up over the course of the next week or so
while my profile was still at the top of heap but it became readily
apparent that these two guys were more serious than the others.  Jeff and
Bob always emailed me back in a timely manner and always seemed eager to
receive word from me.

It was about this point in the process where I began to question just what
the heck I was doing.  I wouldn't say that I'd been raised in an extremely
religious family but we still had a definitive set of morals and my parents
were in no way liberal.  I just knew that what I was doing wasn't something
that my mom and especially my dad would approve of.  I began to become
paranoid that they would somehow find things on my computer or that
secretly they were the ones getting and sending the emails.  I was
terrified at what would happen to me if I continued writing these two guys'
emails and it got to the point that I began to lose sleep and my eating
habits changed significantly.

Now to many of you this may seem so drastic after all I was just writing
them emails... But this was the first time in my entire life that I new I
was doing something that my parents wouldn't approve of.  I'd managed to
live all the way to my 18th birthday without ever really making any
decisions for myself.  I'd done exactly what my parents had told me to do,
and for sake of convenience just tended to go with whatever I felt they
would want me to do when presented with decisions.  I guess me writing
these emails was the process of me becoming an individual.

I wasn't really ready to take on that responsibility and so I did what most
people do I decided to divorce myself from the whole situation.  I stopped
emailing Bob and Jeff and completely avoided even signing into my email
account.  I tried to find other things to do with my time and for a time I
even stopped using the computer all together because I just knew that I was
choosing a path for my life and I wasn't sure if that path I was choosing
was one that I was ready for.

Well a couple of weeks went by and I began to feel normal again.  I was
doing really well in school and sports and it being my senior year of high
school I was determined to enjoy everything that I could.  High School had
not been easy on me but my senior year really began to feel as if life was
starting to change.  I WAS beginning to grow up and I was beginning to
learn about who I was.

One day I came home after school and no one was home and so I decided that
I was going to get on the internet and mess around.  Up to this point I
hadn't been back to check my email in weeks and I decided for whatever
reason that day that I needed to stop acting silly and that I could still
use my email I just didn't need to talk to Bob or Jeff anymore and that I'd
go in and delete all there emails.  After all that was my email address and
I didn't have to let them take over what I would and wouldn't do did I?

I'm sure many of you have had the experience of going through a cell phone
list or an email list and deleting things.  Well that day I logged into my
account with the full purpose of deleting all my emails and starting from
scratch and as is typical I checked my new mail section before.  If I had
been smart I would have simply deleted all my mail and never looked at it,
but I just couldn't resist and so I looked to see who had sent me emails
while I had taken my hiatus.

And there it was... An email from Bob.

"Hey Greg I haven't heard from you in awhile but I wanted to let you know
that I was going to be down in your area for a couple of nights.  I'm
staying at the Comfort Inn in Room 134 if you want come on over and say
hi...  I'm not sure if you're even going to get this but I hope you stop
hi."

OH I HAD ALMOST MADE IT.  Well needless to say after this email there was
no way I was going to escape.  I had a gay friend nearby that wanted to see
me.  I had to go meet him at least.  I mean he'd think I was rude if I
didn't right?  All these mental ideas were firing through my brain rapid
fire and I almost had a melt down.  How in the heck would I go over and
meet him?  Was he really going to be there?  What in the world was I doing
even considering this?  OH MY GAWD! AHHHHH (you get the picture!)

Well needless to say that night I decided to pay Bob a visit.  After my
parents had settled down for the night I went and got in the car and drove
over to the Comfort Inn.  Now that I'm older I wouldn't ever put myself in
the situation that I put myself in that night but this was my first time
even meeting another gay man and I didn't have a clue what I was in for.

I nervously walked up to room 134 which was mercifully in the back of the
hotel so that no one from the street might recognize me.  Timidly I knocked
at the door and after a few moments of waiting Bob opened the door.

Bob was about 5'10'' I don't have a clue how much he weighed but he was
overweight let's put it that way.  He was probably in his early 50's with
slightly balding hair.  (I'm not trying to make Bob unattractive I'm just
reporting the facts) Anyways... After introducing myself Bob let me into
the room...

"I'm glad you came over Greg" he said.

"Yeah me too... I don't get to meet many guys" I said

"Really why's that I mean there are lots of guys around here" he said.

"Well I don't' know any of them so... yeah" I said

At this point I was starting to get really uncomfortable.  It was only a
single bed hotel room and between his clothes and work stuff spread out the
only place I had to sit down was on his bed.  Bob of course and sat down
next to me and to anyone with any sense it would have been clear by his
body language that he was clearly expecting something to happen between us.
I of course had no common sense but I did have some understanding of the
tension in the room.

"Well what do you want to do?"  Bob asked me.

"What do I want to do?" I replied.

"Yeah stupid what do you get into?  What do you want to do?" Bob said

"Um I'm not sure I've never done anything before... I mean I don't know" I
smiled sheepishly.

I don't know about anyone else but I didn't want anything to happen with
Bob... but I also knew I was horny and that I'd never ever had sex with
anyone and that I was sitting in some strange man's hotel room and I didn't
have the skills necessary to extricate myself from the situation.

Bob's hand slowly slid over that cheesy motels coverlet and found its way
up to my upper thigh.  I started to panic.

"Look hey I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you any idea.."  I said.

"Idea?"  Bob said..

"Yeah dude I don't know I've never done anything with a guy before and I'm
not I don't know I mean I just don't want to.."  I said.

"Oh really?  Hmmmm well what are you going to do just leave and not do
anything with me."  Bob said evilly

"um dude I'm sorry I didn't want to give you that impression I'm so sorry I
just want to go back home I didn't even realize this is what you wanted I'm
sorry."

All I could do was apologize over and over and over again... I didn't know
what to do.  I was so terrified that Bob immediately had to have picked up
on the fact I was going to be putty in his hands.

"Hey look I just want to play around a little with you kid.  I'll tell you
what if you stay here for awhile and do what I tell you to I won't tell
your parents..."

"What!!!!! My parents what are you talking about?" I said...

"Kid it doesn't take rocket science to figure out who you are.  I know who
you are and who y our parents are... If you don't want me to say anything
to your dad then I suggest you stay right here and get with the program."
Bob said all the while sneering at me.

I knew I was defeated at this point.  No way did I want my parents to know
about me.  I couldn't get out of this situation and so I dejectedly looked
at him.

"That's what I like to see a boy that knows his place." Bob laughed at me.

"Now get those damn clothes off wouldn't want mommie to miss her darling
son."  He said.

I slowly pulled my shirt off and undid the clasp on my short and dropped
them around my ankles.


"Everything son come on damn" said Bob... He had already managed to take
all his clothes off and was simply lying there on the bed naked with his
corpulent and odious self just oozing over everything.  I was terrified but
what could I do.

Slowly and in almost a daze I took off my clothes and stood before him
naked.

"Well get to it." He said.

"Get to what?" I said

"You fucking idiot start sucking my cock boy" he replied.

Ever so slowly I crawled up between his legs and grasped the shaft of his
cock.  It probably was just my imagination but I swear that I was going to
hurl on the very spot.  I couldn't believe what the hell I was doing.  I
didn't want this I didn't want it this way.  Tears began to fall and I
couldn't stop from sobbing.

With my hand still on his shaft and what should have been an exciting first
experience of touching another man's cock for the first time, but Bob
wasn't a patient man.

"Put it in your mouth kid." He said.

Again it seemed like an eternity but slowly I opened my mouth and stuck the
head inside.  To this day all that I can remember about his cock was how
spongy it felt.  It seemed to fit Bob to a tee.  He was a spongy asshole
and his cock seemed to personify him perfectly.

I must have sucked on that cock for what seemed to me an eternity.  I don't
know if I did it right but after a time he exploded into my mouth filling
me with his nastiness.  I chocked and coughed and spit it out into my hand,
quickly dashing to the sink in the bathroom to wash it away and wash my
mouth out.

"OH damn you are good son..." said Bob

"I gotta go" I sobbed.

"Yeah hurry home kid" Bob laughed at me.

I drove straight home and went to the refrigerator and proceeded to drink
water, coke, and anything else I could find attempting to get rid of that
taste.  To this day I have an adverse reaction anytime I even seen a cock
ejaculate as I brings that taste back into my conscious memory.

To be Continued...