Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2001 08:44:45 -0500
From: Chip Cooper <chipp918@hotmail.com>
Subject: Finding Out, Chapter 1

Finding Out
by: M. Pellegrino

Warning: This story contains sexually-explicit, erotic stories involving
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Chapter 1

I had finally decided to do it.  This Wednesday night, I was going to
attend the "safe-space Alliance" meeting at school.  I had known I was gay
for about a year now, but had only formally come out to one person, the
safe-space president.  To this point, my gay experiences had been random
encounters in some bathhouses and with my right hand while "working" at my
computer.  I wanted something more, something tangible, not just lust.
Don't get me wrong, that's great, but it was time for a relationship.

So there I was, standing in front of the meeting room in the student union
building.  I had to have stood for at least 3 minutes staring at the rainbow
flag covering the window of the door.  In that time, I had contemplated at
least 100 times leaving.  Finally, I made one last glance to make sure that
no one was looking and reached for the door.  I was extremely nervous; I was
very deep within my closet and, quite frankly, was very happy there.
Finally, I entered the room.

There were all sorts of people there.  I quickly scouted the room for a
person that just sent out the right vibe.  I know it sounds silly, but I
think you can tell right away if you and a person will work out, at least
initially.  I saw a lot of good-looking guys, the first one to catch my eye
was gorgeous.  He had blond hair (surprise,) a Hollywood-type tan, rippling
muscles and could have had any guy he wanted.  It was that aura that turned
me off.  What would he want with a 5'10" shrimp like me with a little pudge
in the middle.  I decided that if he and I were ever to hook up, that's
probably all it would be, lust, not love.  As I found out from at least five
other guys that night, I would have been right.  I quickly scanned the room
for further possibilities.

It was on my third pass that I saw him.  He wasn't studly looking, no blond
moviestar looks, no Hollywood tan, kinda plain.  He seemed kind of shy
sitting in the corner of the room.  I walked over to introduce myself.  I
had a good feeling about him, possibly because he was the only one that
caught my eye that I didn't undress with my eyes, I wanted to get to know
him.  I had never been both so bold and so weak when I finally spoke to him,

"Hi, I'm Mike."

"Geoff."

"First meeting?"

"No, but its yours, isn't it?  I've never seen you before."

"Yeah, I'm nervous."

"Well, it's not affecting your pickup ability." Geoff said.  With that I
blushed.  Was I being that obvious?  "Relax, sit down."  I quickly sat next
to Geoff.  He is kind of hard to describe past what I have already said,
about 6'0", if I had to guess 160 lbs, brown hair, just a great NORMAL guy.

Finally the meeting started.  I sat next to him the entire time and we
cracked jokes softly in the back.  He made the first few, which put me at
ease, because that's usually my role.  About twenty minutes into the meeting
he reached down and picked up my hand to hold in his.  This drove me wild.
Could I have actually found what I was looking for on the first shot.  The
meeting closed and Geoff spoke,

"Would you like to come back to my room?"

"What about your roommate?" I asked, I was still very secure in my closet.

"I have a single."  That set me off and we were across campus less than 10
minutes later.  Geoff put on some coffee, kinda corny, I thought, but
neighborly.  He came over to sit next to me on the couch and put his arm
around my shoulder.  We started talking about everything, I just felt so
comfortable with him.  Finally, he started to lean over, quickly I stopped
him and explained my predicament about how I was still very much in my
closet and needed to keep it that way because of my future profession.  I
was studying to be a teacher, and unfortunately gay teachers have many more
obstacles and issues than do straight ones.  I told him that I wanted to be
with him, but that we needed to be discreet.  He said that he completely
understood.  He then leaned over again and I did not resist.  He kissed me
tenderly at first and then more aggressively.  We went on like this for
about 10 minutes when I decided to test him, see what he wanted, a
relationship or a night of passion.  I reached down to rub his crotch.  At
the first touch, he pulled out of the kiss and moved my hand away.

"Not tonight, sex on the first date ruins relationships."

They were the best word he could have said.  Forgetting about the coffee, we
went back to kissing.  We did so for about twenty minutes before I left.  As
I walked back to my dorm room, my head was spinning, did I meet the right
guy on the first night.  I had a lot to think about, I didn't get much sleep
that night.  Because of Geoff, I wouldn't the next couple of nights, but
that's for further chapters.

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