Date: Sat, 27 Apr 2002 14:57:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: John Walsh <alt76frat@yahoo.com>
Subject: Fraternity Memoirs Part 14

Fraternity Memoirs - Part 14, Hell Week Continued

This is a story that contains male to male sexual content. If you don't
want to read such a story, then what are you doing here? If its illegal
where you are, then leave and write your Congressperson. All rights to this
story are held by the writer and should not be posted anywhere else besides
Nifty without my consent.

Well how the hell is everyone? Good, I hope. No, I'm not dead. I'm alive
and well! Been a little side tracked lately with work and life. But all is
well here, and I have finally got myself back to continuing the
story. You'll be happy to know, that I have the next three chapters written
already, and I will be posting them over the next couple of weeks. I have
many e-mails to reply to, and I will try to get back to all of you. Thanks
for sticking with me, I hope I didn't lose the interest of too many of you
with my long sabbatical. Someone made me aware that my "One Year
Anniversary" had passed and I was like shit, I got to start writing
again. And then I was like SHIT, I can't believe its been a year already!
All right, enough already, back to the Memoirs...

"Ok, Dad," I said into the phone as the tears began to swell in my eyes and
my voice tremble.

     "Yeah, I guess so. What time?" I asked.

     "Ok, I'll try be ready at 4:00," I replied, the tears rolling down my
cheek.

     "Yeah, I'll be OK."

     "I love you too, Dad. Bye."

As I placed the phone in the cradle, I broke down and started sobbing.
Matt was at my side the entire time, listening to my side of the
conversation. He took me in his arms and hugged me tightly...

___________________________________________________________________________


I'll keep Thursday night of Hell Week short because it is a night that I
absolutely despised. It wasn't the most difficult of nights, but to me it
was the most demeaning. We were blindfolded and put in cars. We could not
see where we were going and I had no idea just how long we were in the
car. But it was at least 3 CDs length.

We were led into a house and down a long flight of stairs.

When we removed our blindfolds, we were standing in a basement with about
40 strange college students wearing the letters of our National
Fraternity. We were at another chapter's House on another campus. Which
chapter and what college we had no idea.

They quizzed the fuck out of us and told us what a bunch of losers we were
and how we would never be worthy of being "Their Brothers". The thing I
hated most about that night was their "Trust a Brother Test."

There was a tub filled with water in the basement. They made us take off
our shirts and they tied our hands together behind our backs. One by one,
they held our heads under the water, attempting to drown us. The point was
to trust them, that they would let us up just at the right time.

If we fought them and came up too early, we had to do it again. Most of us
came up heaving and choking on water, to the amusement of the Brothers. God
I fucking hated that night. The feel of a stranger's hand holding my head
under the water. For what? To trust some idiot that I didn't know and would
probably never see again?

Even worse was watching them do it to my fellow pledge brothers. Watching
Matt and CJ and even Kevin struggle and thrash was torture. I gave Adam a
hard stare. He caught my stare, but looked away. I was fuming the whole
ride home blindfolded. I tried for a long time to put an end to that
evening for future pledge classes. Eventually I got my way.

     By the time that we got back to the House, it was an hour till we had
to be in the Student Center. We were working on the second night without
sleep and I was totally exhausted. I also hadn't showered in two days. I
was becoming really moody and grumpy. We had to get in soon or I was going
to go crazy.

     Friday night we were again blindfolded and put in cars. This time we
were instructed to leave the rocks at the house. We drove for a long time
and then the cars came to a halt. Where were we going now?  Another
chapter's house, I wondered? We were taken out of the cars and told to
remove the blindfolds.

     This time, we were standing outside and in a cemetery. What the fuck
are we going to do here? Dig up a dead body? It was pitch dark besides the
glow of the moon. We were commanded to line up.

     "Strip!" Adam instructed. Fuck! Didn't these guys know how cold it was
out here?

     We did as we were told and started stripping. As soon as I had my
shirt off, my muscles clenched from the wintry air and a huge shiver went
through my body. When we got most of our clothes off, we were told that it
was cold out, and we could keep our underwear on. Gee, how nice of them. A
lot of good that was going to do keep us warm.

     When we were down to our boxers, the instructions were given.  As we
listened, we jumped up and down and rubbed our own bodies to keep warm as
we listened.

     "Here is a list of names of 19 people who are in this cemetery. You
must find all 19 names on the gravestones and memorize the years that each
person was born and then died. You have a half hour to complete the
task. Then come back here. When you get back to the house, you will report
them back to us. If you get them all correct, we will take one day off of
Hell Week, and you will do Sunday's activity tomorrow (Sat.) night.  Any
questions?"

     Damien raised his hand with a question. "I just want to make sure we
have this right. We run around the cemetery, find the graves of the people
on this list and memorize the years that they died and were born. And we
don't come back here till we have them all or the half hour is up? Or do we
come back with each one as we find it?"

     "You find them all first, and then come back here. If the half hour is
up and you haven't found them all, then come back here. Any other
questions?"

     We understood. "No Pledge Masters," we said.

     "The last two pledge classes got all the names. Don't let us down and
break the streak. Got it?"

"Yes Pledge Master Sean," we replied.

"Go to it then," and Adam held out the list.

We grabbed the list and went running into the cemetery. We grouped really
close around each other, forming a huddle so that we get some body heat for
warmth. I had one arm over the naked back of Matt and the other on the back
of Ben. I was rubbing my hand up and down them, trying to get all three of
us a little heat from the friction. When I started rubbing, Matt returned
the favor on my back.

"How are we going to do this?" Ben asked.

"We really need to work together if we are going to get all 19," Mike
said. I looked out into the cemetery. It was big, but not huge. The moon
was mostly full and it gave off a really good light to get the task at hand
done. We could get this done if we wanted to.

"One day off of hell week would be so NICE," Matt said as he continued to
rub my back.

"Getting our clothes back on would be even nicer," Evan chattered.

"We can do this," Damien said, then added, "We have to do this. I'll read
off all the names. Then each of us will take a specific name and a
row. I'll continue to call out all the names while you guys search. If you
find a stone that matches, call out.

"If it's not the name you specifically took, shout out the name you found
so whoever had that name knows to look for another. Each person will
memorize the birth and death date on that tombstone. Sound like a plan?"

"Let's do it!"

Damien read out the names and then assigned one to each of us. I got Martha
Langley. We took off in a hurry, running up and down the rows of
tombstones, reading each one. All the while, Damien continued to shout out
the names.

It felt really creepy walking over the graves of dead people in bare feet,
feeling the frozen grass on soles of my feet. Almost sacrilegious.  As I
stepped over people's grave, reading their names, I gave a little apology,
`Sorry'.

"Got one," I heard Matt scream. A couple of the guys ran over to him, but I
continued my search.

A few moments later, another one was found. Then another. We got like 10 of
them right in a row. This was going to be easier than we thought.

"Regroup!" Damien yelled.

We all ran back to Damien. Everyone was breathing heavy from running around
and had sweat beading on their foreheads. It's amazing how we could be so
cold, yet sweat.

"OK, lets sound off the names that we got so we can concentrate on the
names that we don't," Damien said.

Those that had found a name started saying them out loud. Damien tried
keeping track, but it was hard. "Damn, I wish I had a pen to mark these
names off." Then Damien reached down and pulled a piece of dead grass.  He
rubbed it over the name and it left a mark. He was a smart dude.

We had 8 names left to get and 11 minutes remaining. Martha was still on
the list. We continued our search as Damien screamed out the names. I
wondered whom this Martha was that I was searching for. How did she die?
Was she young? Was she hot? I was on a mission to find here grave. Little
did she know while she was still alive that her gave stone would become the
attention of 19 college students pledging a fraternity.

I heard a few more "Found One's" from the class. I continued my search as a
few of the guys regrouped. About a minute later we were updated to the
screaming voice of Damien, "Three more to find and 5 minutes left!"  He
gave the name of the last three names, and Martha was till on the list.

I scrambled up and down the next row. I so wanted to take a night off of
hell week. To get in. To wear the letters. But mostly to be done with
pledging. I wanted to sleep for two days straight without interruption or
an activity to run off to. I wanted things to go back to normal again.

"Got James Dulvaney!" I heard Matt yell. Two left.

"Just under two minutes," someone announced. The pressure was on. Where the
fuck are you Marta? Were you this difficult in life? I was cursing out a
dead woman.

I was in the back row and had run almost the whole cemetery. Could I have
missed her? And as luck should have it, the last row, second to last grave
was Martha's. Thank fucking god.

"Found Martha!" I alerted everyone. `Beloved Daughter. Born 1952. Died
1970.'

Damn, she was my age when she died. Damien came running up to me.

"Nice fucking job Walsh!" he said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder
and shook me. Both of us were slightly sweaty from running around, and I
could feel the slipperiness between our skin. "Make sure you memorize the
dates."

"Times Up!" CJ screamed. We still were missing one name. Danielle
Swailin. We were fucking pissed and screaming as we regrouped. Most of us
had our hands on our knees, leaning down and breathing heavy.

"Fuck, we were so close," Kevin said, "This sucks!"

"I ran through this whole cemetery and I didn't see her name anywhere,"
Mike said.

"The Pledge Masters are going to be pissed," Matt said.

We were dreading going back to them and telling them that we didn't get
them all. We began the walk back to the pledge masters. As we walked, I
noticed for the first time that Anthony's chest was still bare. If you
recall, Anthony is the pledge that had one of the hairiest chests I had
ever seen. Not sure if it was his doing, or his girlfriend's, but it looked
so much better.

"This is where we pulled up, no?" Evan asked.

I looked around. It looked like where we pulled up, but the Pledge Masters
and the cars were gone. And so were our clothes. What the fuck?

"Yeah, look, there's the tire tracks," Kevin pointed out.

We all gathered around and saw the fresh tire tracks. This was definitely
where we were dropped off.

"Fuck. They left us!" Matt yelled as he started looking all around.

"Where the fuck are we and how are we going to get back?" Ben asked the
group.

Standing around was doing us no good as I noticed that I was shivering and
hugging myself for body heat.

"Anyone have any idea how long we were driving for? How far away from the
House we may be?" CJ asked.

"It wasn't as long as last night, but it had to be at least 20 minutes,"
Damien added as he jumped up and down to keep warm.

"Maybe they just went to get coffee or something and are just a little
late," Evan suggested.

"Doubt it," Anthony added, "They are never late."

"So what should we do?" Evan asked.

"Well, we can't stay out here too long with no clothes on, or we're going
to freeze our asses off," Matt chimed in.

I looked around at everyone, and it was evident that people were already
freezing. Everyone's mouth was chattering and people were doing anything to
keep warm.

"Lets head out to the road and see if we recognize anything. Maybe we can
call someone for a ride or something," Damien recommended.

"We can't walk around in our fucking underwear," Craig stated, almost
yelled.

"Chill out Stevenson," Kevin reprimanded Craig. "We can't stand here
waiting in our underwear either. They're not coming back for us."

"Well, we're gonna get picked up by the cops or something if we there are
19 guys walking down the street in the December in only underwear," Craig
snapped back.

At that, everyone started yelling at each other and arguing about what we
should do. My patience was wearing thin and I was fucking freezing.

"Guys, fucking stop arguing. This is just another test to see how well we
can work together and we're failing miserably. Here's what we are going to
do," I said as I took charge of the situation.

"Ben, CJ and Damien, you guys go check out the roads and see if you can
recognize anything. Don't go too far. See if you can find a pay phone or
something and call someone. Otherwise, be back here in twenty minutes.  The
rest of us meanwhile are going to go through this cemetery till we find the
last name. Sound like a plan?"

"Yeah, sounds good Walsh," Damien responded. "We'll be back in twenty
minutes, make sure you find that last name."

The three guys took off for the road and the rest of us scrambled to find
Danielle Swailin. Up and down the rows we ran on a mission to find her.  We
decided to run two together just to double check that we didn't miss her.

I was just about to give up hope when I heard Anthony yell "I fucking found
her!"

We all ran over to where Anthony was, and there she was. Danielle
Swailin. Born 1929, Died 1991. She didn't have a head stone. Instead, it
was a plate in the ground. Thank God we found it. Hell week would be one
day shorter.

"How did you find it?" Matt asked.

"I stubbed my toe on it and I was like what the fuck is that," Anthony told
us as he rubbed his toe, "So I looked down and sure as shit, it was her
name."

We did jumping jacks to keep warm as we waited for the guys to get back
from their search for a phone or something recognizable. A few minutes
later they came back, but didn't see anything, not a phone or sign of
civilization.

We shared with them the good news that we found the last name thanks to
Anthony's toe. There was a short celebration again, but we needed to get
back to the house. We had been outside, pretty much naked, for probably
close to an hour and I could feel hypothermia setting in.

Much to the chagrin of Craig, we decided to start jogging until we found
something. We hit the road and had to make a choice, go right or left.
When in doubt, go right I suggested. We went to the right and jogged and
chanted to keep our mind off of being cold.

About 5 minutes into running, we heard a car coming up to us. We stopped
and watched the car as it approached. We jumped up and down trying to get
the car to stop. It did, and the window rolled down. It was a couple of
high school aged girls, whose tongues were pretty much hanging out of their
mouths at the site of us.

Kevin went right up to the window and I could see the girl on the
passenger's side eyes open wide as she stared at Kevin's smiling face.  He
squatted down next to the car and leaned his arms against the door.

"Hey," he said with all his charm and widened his smile. "Thank God you
girls came along. We really need your help. My name is Kevin and these guys
freezing their asses off are my Pledge Brothers. We're pledging a
fraternity and trying to get back to The University. Can you tell us how
far away we are?"

The two girls looked at each other like they couldn't believe what they had
driven up to and started giggling.

"You're only a couple of miles away," the girl driving smiled.

"That's it?" Kevin asked, surprised. We were all surprised. I assumed that
we were at least a half hour from campus, not minutes away.

"Yeah. If you keep going the way you were heading, you'll hit Blah Blah
Ave, and if you're really from the University, you should be able to find
your way from there. Unless you guys want like, a ride or something?"

"A ride would be really cool," Kevin said, "If you would do that for us,"
with a wink and another smile. How could she say no to that?

"Well, my Dad would like totally freak if he knew that I had college guys
in my car, but you look freezing. I can't fit all of you though," she said
as she looked around at all of us.

"How about you squeeze what you can of us in, and then we make a second
trip?"

The two girls looked at each other and seemed to be speaking to each other
silently. I had moved closer to the car and saw the girl in the passenger
seat nod her head in agreement with Kevin.

"You guys aren't like psycho frat killers are you?" the chick driver
asked. Her comment sounded comical, like she was making a joke, but there
was a hesitancy in her question none the less.

Kevin turned to the group and said to the girls while peering at us, "Look
at these guys freezing in only their underwear. We're harmless, trust
me. We just need to get back to campus. And imagine the story you can tell
on Monday to the rest of your friends, that you had 20 hot fraternity guys,
in your car, wearing nothing but boxer shorts," and Kevin turned his gaze
away from the crowd onto me, and winked at me. I felt myself slightly
blush. This was classic Kevin and the charm was on.

"Alright, squeeze in then," the driver said, a smile on her face.

"Thanks," Kevin said. I think it was the first time I had ever heard Kevin
say thanks, to anyone. At least in a genuine manner. We all started saying
thanks to the girls.

Kevin opened the back door and hopped in first, sliding all the way over to
the far side. I was right behind him, so I followed him in. The heat in the
car hit me immediately, and made me shiver even more for a minute.  The
other guys started piling into the back seat.

"We need to fit like 9 guys in here, so we're going to have to lap it.
Come on Walsh, get on my lap" Kevin said and patted his thigh.

I shot him this look, like, "You better not be up to anything, there is a
car full of people in here." He just smiled back at me, still tapping his
legs. So I got up and sat on his lap, and the rest of the guys duplicated
our move. We were able to squeeze 8 guys in the back, and another two in
the front with the two girls. 10 in total. The other guys 9 guys had too
wait for the second trip.

"I can't believe we are doing this," the girl driving said as she shook her
head and put the car in drive.

"You have no idea how much you girls are doing for us," Ben said, who was
sitting in the front seat. "What's your names by the way?"

As the front seat had a little conversation, I settled in on Kevin. My
right leg was between his legs, and my left leg pressed against the outside
of his left leg. My ass was right in his lap, and my back pushed tightly
against his bare chest. We were really crammed in the back seat, and there
wasn't much room to shift.

It was really easy to feel Kevin's dick against my ass, with only the fine
material of underwear between us. And if I wasn't mistaken, I could feel
Kevin's dick getting harder against my ass. It even felt like he was
pushing up a little against me.

I felt really embarrassed that this was happening with all the guys
around. Kevin had no qualms. I'm sure that nobody else could possibly know
what Kevin was doing, but still, I knew.

We were pressed against the car door. I felt Kevin move his left arm a
little and he placed his hand high on my left thigh, just shy of the end of
my boxer leg opening. He cupped the end of the boxers in a fist and pulled
them up my thigh, just a little. The whole time his thumb was rubbing
against my skin, playing with the fine hairs that I have there on my leg.

I could feel his now fully erect dick between my ass crack and all I could
think was, "Oh God. Not now Kevin. Not now Kevin." It wasn't like I could
say anything. And as embarrassed and mortified as I was, my dick began to
swell as well. I couldn't believe that he was doing this to me here and
now. He was totally taking advantage of the situation, and in a strange way
I found it a total turn on. He knew I was powerless in the situation.

He continued his slow and steady pull up of my boxers until the left leg
was up against my hip bone and my left ass cheek was exposed. The rest of
the guys seemed to notice nothing and were having a small conversation
about how lucky we were and that the Brothers were not going to believe
this, and they debated if they should even tell the Brothers. Maybe after
we got in.

Meanwhile, I sat there silently, stuck between disbelief and being turned
on, as Kevin furthered is covert operation on my leg. I held my breath and
stiffened a little as I felt his hand let go of my boxers and slide his
hand to the inside of my thigh, tickling me. His thumb slipped to the
inside of my boxers and twirled my pubic hair that had grown back since the
camping trip.

The feel of his hand there made my dick go bone hard. Ever so slowly, he
worked his thumb and two fingers further into my boxers. With his two
fingers, he brought then under my balls and started gently caressing them,
with his thumb hooked over the root of my hard dick. I let out a sigh at
what he was doing to me. Not a loud one, but a sigh none the less.

His fingers made their way up and over my balls, until they were under and
up against my hard dick. With his fingers and thumb, he rolled the skin
around my boner. And speaking of boners, Kevin was rock hard under my
ass. He wasn't moving, but it was pressing and straining against me.  It
felt really big under there.

With very small strokes, Kevin began pulling the skin of my dick up and
down. Probably not more than a quarter or half inch in either direction,
but it felt unbelievable none the less. I looked between my legs, and
although I could see his hand in my underwear, the movement under my legs
was barely noticeable.

I moved my look from between my legs to the guys to my right. Nobody seemed
to be on to us, so I decided to just relax and enjoy it. I let the tension
out of my body and I pressed into Kevin a little more. I closed my eyes and
just focused on what Kevin was doing, paying no attention to anything else
that was going on in the car.

His pace was so slow and gentle that I knew I wouldn't climax, but it still
felt immensely good. His grip was tight and I realized a weird connection
between Kevin and I. It could have been as simple as mutual enjoyment, but
as I sat on his lap, I felt that we were, I don't know, one? It seemed
almost cosmic that Kevin and I met, that we pledged together and tented
together, and well, you know the rest.

I was really at peace, introspecting and enjoying the pleasure that Kevin
was giving me. It was a weird feeling, almost a moment of Zen, if you know
what I mean.  But then I heard Ben say, "Make a left here, and the House
will be up on the right."

I sensed the car turning and opened my eyes and saw that we were turning
onto the block that the House was on.

"You probably shouldn't drop us off in front of the House, since we're not
all together," Kevin said as he startled me. I thought he would have been
in the same moment as me, but he was more cognizant of the situation than I
was.

Kevin gave another stroke or two, and then slowly pulled his hand out of my
shorts and pulled the leg of them back down. I missed his grip right away,
but I became suddenly aware of the dilemma that I, we, would be in.  We
were rock hard with no outer clothing to hide it. How the fuck were we
going to get out of the car?

"Let us off at the next corner," Kevin instructed.

The car came to a halt at the corner and everyone started piling out of the
car. Kevin didn't open the door on our side, and everyone went out the door
on the sidewalk side. It took a few moments, as we were the last ones to
get out. I had heard a trick once that if you squeezed the head of your
dick, it helped to get your erection down. So I was squeezing like crazy as
we waited to get out.

For once in my life, my dick was actually doing what I wanted it to do, and
it started to down a little. It was still chubby, but I wasn't tenting or
anything and not a dead giveaway. I wondered if Kevin would have such luck.

I slid across the seat and got out of the car. The cold was immediately
there again, and that helped with my dick as well. I turned to see the
predicament that Kevin may or may not be in, when he closed the door while
he was still in the car and rolled down the window.

"I'll ride back with the girls so they aren't alone. You guys may want to
walk down the side street a little in case any of the Brothers come to the
House so they don't see you. We'll be back in fifteen."

"OK, don't fool around, come right back" Matt added. He never trusted
Kevin.

"Ah, yeah, OK Belford, whatever," Kevin said snidely back. Matt (Belford)
and Kevin still didn't quite get along.

As the car pulled away, Kevin and my eyes met, and he smiled and gave a
wave. We walked up the block a little and sat along a stone wall in the
cold as we waited for the rest of the guys to come along.

Sure enough, about fifteen minutes later, the car pulled up on the
corner. The guys started getting out of the car and we walked up to meet
them. CJ was getting out of the front seat along with Evan.

"Thanks so much for the ride," CJ said, "We have a party at the House
pretty much every Saturday, so you should come some time and bring some of
your girlfriends."

"Maybe we will," the girl in the passenger seat said, "Thanks!"

"Cool. See you again sometime then," CJ replied as he closed the door.

"Goddamn," CJ said as the car pulled away and the girls waved good-bye.  "I
need to get laid soon, I'm hitting on High School chicks now I'm so fucking
horny."

"Just a few more days, CJ," Matt said as he put his arm around CJ's
shoulders, "We'll be wearing the letters and getting laid at will, just a
couple more days."

"Dude, its going to be fucking great," CJ said.

"Well CJ, maybe those High School girls won't be sacred of your uncut
monster," I joked.

"Fuck off Walsh," CJ yelled back at me. I laughed.

"What?" Matt asked.

"Nothing Matt, just an inside joke," I said.

Damien was back into being in charge and made us go over the names and the
birth and death years that each of us had memorized. We had them all.  It
wasn't hard to do in front of each other, but in front of the pledge
masters, it was a different story. We better get them all, we so wanted a
night taken off of hell week.

We walked up to the house and sure enough, the cars that had dropped us off
at the cemetery were parked outside. We noticed in the back seats were all
our clothes. We tried opening the car doors, but they were all locked.

We approached the door and didn't know quite what to do. Should we knock?
We decided it best to knock. About a minute later, we heard feet
approaching the door and it opened.

It was the Sergeant at Arms, and he was once again dressed up in the robe
with his face all painted up.

"Follow me in silence," was all that he said.

As we made our way into the House, I saw that house was blacked out, lit
only with candles, and the same music was playing as the other night, "O
Fortuna" from Carl Orff's cantata "Carmina Burana" (thanks for the
clarification from some of the readers!). Oh no, not again. This was like
déjà vu.

We were led back to the sunroom. The SA pulled out a piece of paper and
started reading out the names, one by one. The pledge that had memorized
the birth and death dates gave the information back to the SA.

When we were done, the SA said, "Well done, you got all of them correct.  I
will let the Pledge Masters know. That will be one day off of Hell Week."

We all screamed in celebration.

"I SAID SILENCE!" the SA scolded. "I can take that day away if you can't
follow instructions."

We promptly settled down and were silent.

"That's much better. Sit in silence and I will be back for you."

We sat on the floor, still in only our underwear, awaiting what was next
for us. One day off of Hell Week. We had done it. Maybe we would be getting
in tomorrow night then, hopefully Sunday at the latest.

Its hard sitting in a room in silence with like 19 of your good friends.
We'd pretty much just trade looks with each other, rolling our eyes or
making some kind of communication with body language.

Eventually, after an agonizing who knows how long, the Sergeant At Arms
came back into the room and took Craig Stevenson with him. The evening
progressed much the same as the other night, but there wasn't the
intermittent screaming that there was last time.

It became evident after a few go rounds that we were being pulled out of
the room in line up order. It gave a little piece of mind knowing when you
would be going, unlike last time. I was 13th in line, so I had a ways to go
yet, but at least I wasn't last this time.

Finally it was my turn to go. The music was still playing and I followed
the SA through the dark halls. I was led to one room, and hesitantly opened
the door, awaiting another sheet to be thrown over my head.

I edged into the room and saw that it was the executive board, also wearing
robes and face paint, minus the President and the Pledge Masters.  I took a
seat in front of them.

There was no small talk. The Treasurer went right into it,

"Please say the Greek Alphabet three time before the match burns me," and
he struck a match lighting it and holding it straight out.

I was taken off guard, but quickly went into the alphabet as quick as I
could. It was nerve racking watching the flame get closed to his fingers,
and I prayed I didn't mess it up, but I was able to pull it out. The
Treasurer blew out the match and placed it next to the others on the table.

     "Please give me the Principles that the Brothers hold Sacred," the
Chaplain ordered.

     I took a deep breath. I had been studying these in the Student Center
all week since the last time I failed this questions. I was going to take
it slow and try not to get nervous. You don't know it, but these Principles
are like 5 paragraphs long and not an easy thing to get memorized.

     "We, the Brothers of..." I started, taking my time and concentrating
as hard as I could. I was doing good, and the Chaplin hadn't stopped me for
any mistakes. "...promise to hold them true and self evident."

     "Correct Pledge Walsh, well done," the Chaplin said.

      "I'm going to ask you a few personal questions about the Brothers
that we expect correct detailed answers on," the Historian said.

     His questions ranged from Brother's home towns, majors, nicknames,
Littles, Bigs, etc,. about 15 questions in total. I got all of them right
and was feeling really proud of myself.

     "You've done quite well tonight Pledge Walsh," Andy, the Vice
President, said, "Very impressive. I will repeat the question that I posed
to you last time, Are you ready to be a Brother."

     "Most definitely, Brother Andy," I responded.

     "Your journey is almost complete. But first, you must make a
sacrifice. That is all that we have for you. The Sergeant at Arms will take
you to the next challenge."

     "Thank You," I said and got up and went to the door. The SA was
waiting for me and he walked me to another room. I went into the room and
it was the President along with the Pledge Masters.

     I took my seat and the President began, "Are you ready to be a
Brother?" he asked.

     "I believe that I am," I stated.

     "But already I can tell that you are not," he responded.

     "Why?"

"What is the pledge class, Pledge Walsh?"

"The Pledge Class is One."

"That is correct. So wouldn't the appropriate answer to my first question,
`Are you ready to be a Brother' be yes, WE are?"

Fuck. I almost had a perfect answer evening. "That would have been the
proper answer, yes."

I looked at Adam, and he just stared blankly back at me.

"Tonight you will have to make a sacrifice. It will be a difficult one, and
I want you take your time and think it through before making your
decision. In order for the pledge class to move along to the last phase of
Hell Week, you must choose one of your Pledge Brothers who will not get the
Letters. The pledge that is least worthy of Brotherhood. The pledge with
the most votes will be escorted out of the House tonight, and the rest of
you will continue the journey to Brotherhood. Please let us know your
decision when you are ready."

Fucking aye. That was one hell of a sacrifice. Pick one of the guys that
would be booted out of the class, after coming this far? I quickly ran
through the guys in my head. Sure, there were some guys that I wasn't great
friends with, and would be no particular loss to my life, but still, who
was I to make that decision for them. We've all worked so hard to get this
far. I'm sure a few of the guys thought the same thing of me.

"Can I ask a question," I asked.

"What is it?" the President said.

"Is this a trick? I have to say a name? I don't want to pick anyone. If
someone is not worthy of being a Brother, isn't it a Brother who should say
so?"

"Didn't you just say that you were ready to be a Brother?"

"Yeah, but that's not what I meant. And if that is what you were asking,
then I would like to change my answer. No, I'm not ready to be a Brother."

"The sacrifice still needs to be made. Every pledge class before you has
made the same sacrifice, and now it is your turn. I realize that it is a
difficult decision to make, but one that must be made none the less."

Mother fucker. I was swimming with emotions, who to pick. There has to be
an answer where no one gets picked. I was sure of it. I was searching for
anything, and I came upon the final clue of the campus runaround. The
pledge masters said it was a clue that would help us get into the
Fraternity.

Always put the good of the Fraternity and your brother ahead of yourself.
That is the test of infinite brotherhood. That had to be it.

Looking up at them, I said, "I have made my decision, and I would like to
sacrifice myself."

"Are you sure?" the President asked. "While that is a noble and valor
answer, should one of your pledge brothers pick you, that may give you the
most votes."

I questioned myself for a second. But Adam's blank stare had turned to a
proud look, as if his son had done well, and I knew that my answer was
correct.

"I am sure."

"So be it," the President said. "We wish you the best of luck."

"Thank you," I said and the SA escorted me out of the room.

I was led down to the basement, which was completely black. I couldn't see
anything, and the SA had to guide me down the stairs. When we reached the
floor of the basement, the SA sat me on the ground, somewhere in the middle
of the room.

He then left me alone and went back up the basement stairs. I started to
freak out a little, waiting for something to happen. But nothing did, at
least not for awhile. As I sat there, I became aware that there were other
people in the basement with me. Perhaps it was the other pledges, but it
sounded like more people than that.

Nobody was saying anything, but I could hear people breathing, a small
cough or a shuffle of the feet. I kept waiting and expecting the worst.
Perhaps it was a few Brothers watching over us, to make sure that we
remained silent.

As I sat there, I began thinking about my decision to sacrifice myself. I
knew it was the right decision, but would everyone else? The consequences
were high. If I got picked, I think I would go totally postal or something.

After awhile, I heard another person being led down the basement stairs.
Number 14. That left 5 more people to go. And as each person was taken down
the stairs, I counted, till the 19th person was sat.

The SA went back up the stairs, leaving the 19 of us, and a few Brothers,
down in the darkness alone. I assumed that it would be revealed to us soon
who, if anyone, would be let go. Come on guys, I prayed, please have gotten
this right.

A few moments later, we heard multiple sets of feet coming down the
stairs. It must have been the executive board. I noticed that there was one
candle lit, that the person leading the group was carrying.

It was hard to see what they were doing, but they stood in front of us and
put what look like a piece of paper into something. I know that doesn't
make a whole lot of sense, but I couldn't see.

"Please rise," Adam said, and all of us stood. I couldn't make out faces,
just the bodies of my pledge brothers.

"Come closer," Adam said.

We moved in closer to whatever it was in front of them, all the pledges
trying to look over our shoulders to see what it was.

"What do you see, Pledge Walsh?" the President asked, who was holding the
candle. He was cupping it, blocking most of the light that the candle gave
off.

I tried to focus my eyes, but I still couldn't make it quite out.

"I see a chair, with some kind of a box on top of it, and it looks like
there is something in it, maybe a piece of paper?" Its what I saw. I had no
idea what it was, or what it meant. Perhaps the name on the piece of paper
was the person who was voted out.

"With the light of one, it is difficult to see, but with the light of many,
you should be able to find your way," the President said.

With that, he tipped his candle over, lighting a candle that Adam had in
his hand. In turn, Adam lit Sean's candle. Each person turned to the
Brother behind him, and lit his candle. As it progressed, the room became
lighter, and we were able to see that there wasn't a few Brothers in the
basement with us, it was all the Brothers.

Slowly, but surely, the light of the one candle was passed from candle to
candle of the Brothers, along the wall behind us, till the light made it
all the way around, forming a circle around us and brightening the room.

"Pledge Walsh, what do you see now?"

I had been following the light, and now that the room was lit, I was able
to see that I was right. "I see a piece of paper with some writing on it
inside a black chest."

"Please take the piece of paper out of the box and read it to your fellow
pledges."

I have to admit, I was nervous.

"On this day, December the 16th, 199X, the Phi Class of XYZ Fraternity have
successfully completed their journey towards Brotherhood, and are, from
this day forward, Brothers for Life."

Even though I had just read it aloud, it didn't quite sink in. To me or my
fellow pledge class. We had been expecting the worst, and instead, were
given what we had been working for, for months. It came as a total utter
surprise.

"Damn, how stupid are you guys, you're fucking Brothers," Sean said and the
sound of bottles popping filled the room. We were showered with Champagne
and finally realized that this was it. We were in!

We started jumping and screaming like crazy under the rain of alcohol.  Its
hard to put in words what I was feeling, but I was elated beyond
belief. Fucking aye, I was a BROTHER! I almost started crying in happiness
and hugging my fellow pledges, correction, fellow Brothers.

We were all hugging each other, soaked in beer and champagne, as the
barrage of spray hit us. We were still only in our underwear and dripping
with booze. After a few hugs, I came upon Kevin.

We looked at each other a second, he opened his arms, and I hesitated, but
then leaned into his hug. As we embraced each other, I could immediately
tell that this hug was different than the others. It felt kind of sexual
with him, but more than sexual, it was, I don't know, forgiving? It was
like a make up hug. At least that's what I took away from our hug.

As we settled down, the Brothers joined us in our circle, hugging us and
giving us congratulations. There was still a domineering presence to
them. I didn't quite feel as an equal, but that would come with time.

Someone turned on some music and the basement turned into a party. Kegs
were rolled out and the beer was flowing. One by one, the Brothers
congratulated me. My emotions were running wild, and I didn't know how to
react.

Adam came up to me and had a spectacular smile on his face. He gave me a
huge hug and lifted me off the floor. I returned his hug and was filled
with tears. Obviously not tears of sadness, rather, tears of joy, of pure
emotion.

"Come on, I have something I want to give you." Adam said.

He pulled me out of the middle of the group and into a corner. He handed me
a wrapped box and a cold beer.

"There's more, but open this first," he said.

I took a long chug of my beer and put it down. I tore the paper off the box
and pulled it apart. Inside, there was a shirt with letters on it. I
recognized it as a shirt that Adam had worn many times himself.

"These were the letters that my Big gave me when I got in, and I wanted you
to have them."

I was so touched. I gave Adam a big hug and held onto him for a minute.  He
was such an awesome guy. And he was my Big.

I pushed my head through the neck of the shirt pulled my arms through the
sleeves. The Letters. I was wearing them! I looked at my chest and rubbed
my hands over them. They were mine. We were in. Holy fucking shit, we were
in!

I gave Adam another hug and turned to the group. Everyone was
celebrating. I had to find Matt. He was in another corner with his Big. I
ran up to him and showed him my letters. He was just given letters as well
and was putting them on.

"See, I told you that day you were thinking about quitting that we were
almost in," Matt said kiddingly.

"Matt, that was like over a month ago," I said back.

"Regardless, what else did I say that night?" he asked.

I searched for what else he said, "That once we had the Letters, we'd be
getting a lot of pussy?" I said, but it sounded like a question.

"Damn straight Bro, we got the Letters, so let the Pussy commence!"

I had to laugh at him. I guess the Letters meant something different to
everyone. To Matt, it was a status symbol, a reason for girls to sleep with
him. Not that there was anything wrong with that, if it meant that chicks
would fuck us because of the Letters, than bring it on.

But I didn't pledge the Fraternity for pussy. I had plenty of that before I
even had the Letters. I had pledged, well, at first it was the excitement
and thought of being in a Fraternity. But the more that I think of it, I
really pledged because of Adam. He just dazzled me, and I looked up to him,
and well, wanted to be him.

Now that I was in though, the Letters symbolized something that I had
worked to achieve for 12 weeks. It was a trophy of my success. It was
evidence of a bond between people that I was proud to call my Brothers.

That night was a drunken mess. Between the keg stands, keg dances, beer
bongs and pot, I was wasted. Everyone was wasted. There was chugging beer
to the song...

"Here's to Brother Woody, Brother Woody, Brother Woody. Here's to Brother
Woody who's a Brother tonight! So drink mother fucker drink mother fucker
drink mother fucker drink..." and you had to drink while they kept on sing
and repeating drink mother fucker.

The Brothers would start you with a fresh cup of beer, and sometimes it was
as long as finishing a second full cup. If you recall, Woody was my
Fraternity nickname. I had to drink to that song more than a few times that
night.

But my absolute favorite part of that night (besides getting in) was being
able to join the Circle of Brothers for the Fraternity chant. It was Damien
who started the first chant, and I was envious that I didn't.  Brothers and
new Brothers (our pledge class) ran from everywhere and did the chant. We
screamed at the top of our lungs. We must have done the chant at least 10
times that night at varying points.

Later on, Adam gave me the rest of my "getting in" presents. He got me a
wind breaker, two shirts, a hat and a key chain that all had the letters,
on top of his shirt that he had given me earlier.

"Thanks so much Adam. I can't wait to wear these to the Student Center."

"You're welcome John," Adam said. "So how does it feel to be in?"

"It feels fucking awesome, I think. I don't know, it really has sunk in,
you know?"

"Yeah, I remember," he laughed.

"So how does it feel not to be pledge master anymore?" I asked.

"It's a huge relief bro. I am totally exhausted. And hopefully now that
this is done, things will be a little better between Chele and I."

"You're exhausted? I haven't slept in two days. I didn't know that Michele
was still giving you a hard time."

"Yeah, well, she hasn't spoken to me since Hell Week started, so I have
some making up to do with her tonight."

"So you're going over there tonight?" I have to admit, I was a little
disappointed. It wasn't top on my mind, but subconsciously, part of me was
looking forward to sharing the bed with Adam again.

"Later, yeah. Don't worry though, I'm not leaving anytime soon. I'll
probably wait till most of you guys pass out."

"So I can crash in your bed then?" I asked.

"Sure Bro, of course you can. What's mine is yours."

Most of the rest of the night is a blur to me. I do remember getting all
the pledges together for a toast to the Pledge Masters, that I gave. We
came up with a plan to get a little revenge.

"We'd like to make a toast to our Pledge Masters, Adam and Sean," I yelled
to everyone in the basement. The Brothers gathered around and turned down
the music. Adam and Sean stepped into the center of the room with us (the
pledge class) standing in front of them.

"You've given almost 12 weeks of your lives to make us into good
Brothers. I have to admit that as tough as those 12 weeks were for us, I
would do it all over again. I hope that you would say the same. But we'd
like to thank you for all that you have done for us.

"Before we drink though, I have one more thing that I want to say. The
night of the camping trip, when we were around the fire, I wrote something
on that piece of paper that was thrown into the fire that I want to share
with the rest of the Brothers.

"I wrote, that when we were in and wearing the Letters.." and I turned
around, pulled down my underwear and mooned the pledge masters and the
Brothers, "...That the two of you could kiss my fucking ass," and the rest
of the pledge class turned around and mooned the Pledge Masters.

We pulled up our shorts after a few seconds of mooning and turned to face
the Pledge Masters again. All of the Brothers were laughing and so were the
Pledge Masters. "So from us to you, here's a BIG FUCK YOU!"

"FUCK YOU!" the pledge class screamed as loud as we could. Before we
started the toast, all of us had grabbed fresh bottles of beer, and after
the fuck you, we shook them up and doused the Pledge Masters in beer so
that they were as soaked as we were.

They tried to block the spay and run away, but with 19 guys spraying you,
they couldn't get away fast enough. It was so funny and so awesome to get
them back a little.

We had a great time that night. I kind of remember telling more than a few
Brothers to go fuck themselves for some of the things they put us
through. And we shared with the pledge masters a bunch of the stuff that we
hadn't told me them before, like drinking at Dan's house.

I don't remember going to sleep at all that night. The following morning I
woke up to a huge head ache and Matt shaking me.

"Walsh, wake up. Some of us are going back to campus if you want to come."

"Huh?" I asked as I opened my eyes. Looking at Matt, I saw that he had his
letters on and I remembered that we were in.

"I asked if you wanted to go back to campus with me."

"Yeah, I guess," I said as I sat up. "Nice fucking letters, Brother Matt."

"Well, thank you Brother Walsh. Man, you look like hell this morning."

"Thanks so much Matt. I feel like hell. I was frigging wrecked last
night. I don't even remember going to sleep," I said as my face and
temples.

"You passed out on one of the couches in the basement. We tried to wake you
up, but you were out for the count dude. Nothing we did woke you up.  We
were going to leave you down there, but Adam insisted that we take you to
his bed, so he and I carried you up here. You didn't open your eyes once."

It made me feel good that Adam was so concerned about me.

"Thanks for carrying me up here, then."

"No problem. Come on, lets get back to the dorms and have some breakfast."

I got out of bed. Matt said they got all of our clothes out of the car and
were downstairs. They also got all our keys back from Sean this morning.  I
went downstairs and put my pants on.

The House was pretty empty and a mess. Beer bottles and cups everywhere.  I
was so glad that we wouldn't have to clean the House up. CJ and Ben were on
the couch watching TV waiting for us. I threw my pants on and grabbed my
other clothes.

"Good morning Brother CJ and Brother Ben. Where is everyone else?" I asked.

"Some of the guys went back to campus already and the rest are still
sleeping, Brother John" CJ said.

We were walking out the door to CJ's car when I remembered our stuff from
Hell Week still in the basement. So we ran down there and grabbed the
stuff. It stank of beer, the floor was soaked and the place was a total
disaster.

"Thank God we aren't pledges anymore," Ben laughed.

"No shit, that's what I was just thinking," I said.

We grabbed our stuff that we saw. A lot of it was wet with beer as well.
The rest we figured we would pick up later on in the day.

     We went up to our rooms to drop our stuff off before grabbing some
breakfast. It felt weird being in our room again. It was ransacked from
when we tore through the room the night hell week started. I noticed that
the answer machine was blinking.

"Looks like we have some messages," I said to Matt.

"Lets get breakfast first, I'm starving," Matt said.

So we went downstairs and had breakfast. We probably looked like total
shit. We hadn't showered in days, and we were still wearing the same
clothes and letters that were beer soaked just a few hours ago. Still, it
felt great wearing the Letters in public. The caf was pretty empty, but
people recognized that we were in.

After a nice healthy breakfast of bacon and eggs with a side has browns, we
went back to the doors. We were going to take a shower and then a nap.  We
figured after that, we would find another Fraternity that was having a
party tonight and wear our newly given Letters.

     As we came into the room, the phone was ringing. I picked up the
phone.

"Hello," I answered.

"John?"

"Hey Dad! Guess what? We got into the Fraternity last night. We're done
pledging. I can't believe we are finally in."

"Where the hell have you been? We've been calling you since yesterday?" He
sounded angry. I didn't tell them that I was temporarily `moving out' or
had I called them since we did.

"I'm sorry Dad, we had to move into the House for Hell Week, and we were so
busy I didn't have time to call. Is everything OK?"

"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you." He didn't sound angry
anymore. He sounded grim.

"What? Did you lose your job or something?" I don't know why I thought that
was what he was going to tell me. It's just the first thing that came to
mind.

"No. Grandma McDonald died yesterday."

"What?" That just couldn't be. She wasn't sick.

"I'm sorry John. Your grandmother died."

"No, no. She can't be dead. What are you talking about?"

"She died in her sleep. We don't know what happened exactly."

It began to sink in. I didn't get to say goodbye to her. I didn't call her
enough when I went away. This just couldn't be. I could feel that I was
going to cry. I tried to stay strong.

"How is Mom?"

"She's not good. She can't talk to you right now, but she needs you
home. The wake starts tomorrow. Are you OK?"

"I...I...I don't know. I can't believe it. I don't know."

"Well, you need to come home and be with the family. I'm going to come and
pick you up, OK?"

 "Ok, Dad," I said into the phone as the tears began to swell in my eyes
and my voice tremble.

"Can you get ready quickly?"

     "Yeah, I guess so. What time?" I asked.

     "I need to help your Mother finish some of the arrangements.  How
about 4:00?"

     "Ok, I'll try to be ready at 4:00," I replied, the tears beginning to
roll down my cheek.

     "Will you be OK till then?" he asked.

     "Yeah, I'll be OK."

     "I love you John."

     "I love you too, Dad. Bye."

As I placed the phone in the cradle, I broke down and started sobbing.
Matt was at my side the entire time, listening to my side of the
conversation. He took me in his arms and hugged me tightly. I stayed there
as it all sunk in.

I won't go into too much detail, but my Grandmother was like my best
friend. She lived across the street from us and I was always at her
house. I was the oldest grandchild. She would make me whatever I wanted to
eat for dinner, and most nights I would eat at her house rather than
mine. After dinner, we'd talk for a couple of hours about anything and
everything.

She was a member at the Surf Club that I worked in. She would sit at the
pool and packed me lunch everyday and I would sit and eat with her during
my lunch break. We just had this amazing relationship. Like everyone else,
I didn't stay in touch with her nearly as much as I should have when I left
for college. I never got to say goodbye.

She died way too young. She was only 60 and never got to enjoy her old
age. She had 8 children, and my Mother was the oldest of them. But my
Grandmother had 2 kids late in life, so my Mom is like 20 years older than
her youngest Brother. Which made my Uncle only 6 years older than me (the
other younger kid, my Aunt, is only 8 years older than me). It was
strange. I guess my point is that she just got all her kids out of the
house, and then she died.

I missed my finals. It was a somber ride home with my Dad. I think I cried
most of the way home. I cried even more when I saw my Mom. She was a pretty
strong woman, but she was having a real hard time dealing with this. And
then I saw my Grandfather, and as soon as he saw me he started bawling. I
joined him. It was a rough night for our family. A husband, eight children,
22 grandchildren, and the matriarch of our family was no longer with us.

I talked to Matt and CJ the next day. Everybody who was coming to the wake
would be there tomorrow night. I was looking forward to seeing them.  I
tried calling Adam, but one of the Brothers who had answered the House
phone said he was out with Michele.

I hadn't spoke to any of my HS friends. But I knew if they didn't have
finals, they would be there if they could. My family was really popular in
our neighborhood, and I'm sure that their Moms asked them to come home.

I jumped in the shower to get ready for the wake. As I washing myself, my
mind went to Kevin. I wondered if he would come. Part of me wanted him
here. I guess we had a special connection, and I'd be pissed if he didn't
come. But at the same time, it would be so weird for him to be here with my
family. I was feeling kind of emotional, and in the end, I decided that I
wanted him to be here.

As we made our way to the Funeral Home for the first day of the wake, my
Brother told me that one of my Fraternity Brothers had called and was
coming today instead of tomorrow.

"Who was it, do you remember?"

"No, I just gave him directions from the Verrazanno Bridge."

"Was his name Adam?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I think it was Adam."

I was glad that Adam was coming early. He was such an awesome guy. Of
anyone that I wanted to speak to about how sad that I was, it was Adam.

About an hour into the wake, the place was filling up. I was talking with
some of my friends parents and other people from the neighborhood, when my
one Aunt came up to me and said one of my Fraternity Brothers was in the
back.

I turned around and it wasn't Adam standing back there, it was Kevin. I was
totally surprised. I looked around for a moment, feeling this guilt come
over me, like someone would know about Kevin and I. But I realized quickly
that nobody could possibly know.

I walked back and greeted Kevin. I went to shake his hand, but instead, he
grabbed me and gave me a hug.

"I'm so sorry about your Grandmother John. Are you doing OK?"

I allowed myself to fall into his hug. I hadn't cried all day, I was trying
to be strong for my Mother and the rest of my family. But as Kevin held me,
a flood of emotions came out. Mostly it was the loss of my Grandmother. But
it was also the culmination of my mixed emotions about what was going on
with my life, my utter uncertainty of what was going on with me and my
sexual confusion. I was exhausted after pledging and had to deal with the
death of my Grandmother, and I just kind of broke down.

Thinking about this is making me very sad, so I am going to move on and end
this chapter. The importance of this last section is not only that I lost
probably the most important person to me, and I never got to enjoy being a
Brother until the following semester, but I learned that Kevin was more
than just the egotistical asshole that he portrayed.

Kevin slept over my parent's House the next two nights, attending the
second day wake and the Funeral as well. He was a total help to my family
and nothing but gracious and polite. It was a side of Kevin that I had
never seen. He actually cared about me. Because of this, Kevin and I became
a lot closer.

Pretty much the whole Fraternity made the wake the second day, and it was
amazing to see 60 guys walk into the Funeral Home. My family was more than
impressed at their showing.

I spent most of the end of the wake just hanging out with them in the outer
part of the Funeral Home that had a bunch of couches. Most of my HS friends
came that night as well, and they pretty much mixed and mingled with the
Brothers. It was so nice knowing that I had like all these friends that
were concerned about me.

The next day was the Funeral, and Adam and Matt and CJ and Kevin and a few
of the other Brothers were in attendance as well. With Adam around, Kevin
stood back a little. It was weird, but I was thankful to Kevin for that so
it didn't put us in an awkward position. Not that Adam made either of us
feel that way, but as you will come to learn, that is pretty much how Kevin
and I were always when we were around other people.

I had to do a reading for my Grandmother at the Funeral. My family is
Catholic, and I read a poem that my Grandmother always had on her
refrigerator, I think it is called "Footsteps". I barely made it through
the reading. I was crying the entire time.

After we buried my Grandmother, we all went our to eat at this
restaurant. There was probably close to 75 people there. I sat a table with
my Fraternity Brothers. I told some stories about my Grandmother.  After
lunch was done, they all took off, back to school for finals, which started
tomorrow, Wednesday.

As I said, I skipped finals. I took incompletes in all my classes and my
professors agreed to let me take them first week of the second semester.
Christmas break, for me, has already started. My Mother was an emotional
wreck, and Christmas, this year, would totally suck.

To be continued...

Hope you found it worth the wait! The next few chapters will deal with
Christmas Break, where I get some action, then second semester and Spring
Break and the next pledge class. This is where the story becomes, shall I
say, really juicy.

If you are interested at all, I started a Yahoo Group that you can join and
when I post a story, I will send a general email out to everyone that a
story has been posted. This way, you don't have to keep checking, you'll be
alerted when its there. And if I feel like telling you guys something, I
can send around a general e-mail. Also, if you wanted to make some comments
to the other readers, you can post a message for everyone to read. I'm
toying with the idea of posting some pictures there and what not, but I'm
still debating that. So the site is


      http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fraternitymemoir/ join if you like!