Date: Mon, 24 Feb 2003 18:21:57 EST
From: GaiasDruid@aol.com
Subject: Group Dynamics-Chapter 6

This is a work of fiction.  It will eventually contain sexual acts between
consenting men.  If gay sex is illegal in your area, or you're under the age
of consent in your area, or you just flat out don't like queer sex (what the
hell would you be at this site for?) then go away.  Comments, questions, and
ideas welcome and appreciated, and will be responded to.  Please put 'Nifty'
in the subject line so I know it's not spam.
A huge thanx to everyone that has written.  I love getting the praise, the
ideas, and the requests.  I'll try to use any ideas and requests you guys
send in, but have patience as it may take me a while to work them into the
story:-)
Thanx, and enjoy.
Chris
Email to gaiasdruid@aol.com

Group Dynamics-Chapter 6

    When next I opened my eyes, I was laying on my back with my head in
Kelly's lap.  She was stroking my hair soothingly.  I looked up and she
smiled down at me.

    "Hey, Sleeping Beauty," she said, "sleep much?"

    "Wha...what happened?" I asked.

    "You went floor diving," said a concerned Matt, his face appearing over
Kelly's shoulder, "without a net, mind you.  How very Fall Guy of you."

    "Ugh, don't make me laugh," I groaned, putting my hand to my forehead,
"my head is killin' me."

    "I guess next time you'll use a net when you try a stunt like that, now
won't you?" he asked.

    "Fine, I swear.  No more diving without protective gear."

    "Good, now put this on your head for a bit," Kelly said as she placed a
cold, damp washcloth on my forehead.

    "Thanks, Kel."

    I looked around, gingerly, and saw the others sitting around me quietly.
Rachael was obviously trying very hard not to laugh.

    "What?  What's so funny?" I asked her, glowering as best I could with an
aching head.

    She lost control of her laughter and started giggling uncontrollably.  It
was several moments before she was able to answer me.

    "You...you realize of course," more giggles, " why you fainted, don't
you?"

    "No, Miss Bitch, as a matter of fact I don't know why," I answered,
still trying to glare," It's never happened before."

    She laughed for a few more moments and then said, "You passed out because
you were overwhelmed.  You could see it on your face just before you checked
out.  You'd just realized all four of your cute roomies said they could be
had.  I think your imagination went into overdrive, and you couldn't handle
the visuals."

    At that, my other roommates bust out laughing as well.  I felt a slight
quake beneath my head and glanced up to see Kelly trying very unsuccessfully
to stifle her own laughter.  My face felt like it was on fire, I was blushing
so hard.  Oh, this was just too much.  Screw all of them.
    I sat up in an obvious huff, determined to leave and salvage what little
dignity remained to me.  My head swam a little as I gained my feet and
started for the door of the meeting room, leaving the laughter behind me.  I
heard someone call out my name, and yell for me to come back, but I ignored
it.  I was humiliated.  I fainted like a fucking girl.  I didn't want to look
at any of them, couldn't look at any of them until I had regained my
composure.

    I ran to my dorm, and bolted up the steps to the door of our suite.
Keying in, I slammed the door behind me and went straight to my room, locking
the door behind me.  I turned my CD player on, put in a Savage Garden CD and
cranked up the volume, hoping to drown out any knocks on my door.  I threw
myself down on my bed and proceeded to sulk.
    I must have dozed off again (that bed was damned comfy), because the next
thing I know I felt a hand on my shoulder shaking me awake.  My eyes snapped
open, and I saw Josh leaning over me, smiling.  I just grunted and put my
head under my pillow, trying to block him out.  He didn't get the message.

    "Luke, buddy, C'mon.  It ain't that bad.  We should have known how
you'd react to what we said.  We all thought we were just joking around.  No
one was trying to make you uncomfortable."

          I lay there, doing my best to ignore him.  I wanted to stay mad,
wanted to believe that they were making fun of me.  It fit in with my view of
straight guys: mean and sarcastic, the lot of `em.  As long as that view
remained unchanged, I had a valid reason to keep myself apart from them, and
in keeping myself apart, I kept myself safe from getting hurt.  I had heard
all the jokes about fags growing up, I knew how most guys felt about guys
like me.  I didn't want to be the object of their ridicule.

          I thought that if I allowed myself to believe they were sincere, at
least a few of them, I would open myself up, giving the others a chance to
get inside my defenses.  I imagined trusting them, and thinking that they
were like me, and then hearing their scornful laughter when I expressed my
feelings.  I couldn't handle that.  I wouldn't.

          Josh, however, was not going to be ignored.  He pulled the pillow
from my face and stared down at me.  I saw the concern in his face, and tried
to convince myself that it was all an act, a ploy to draw me out and make me
vulnerable.  He watched me for a few minutes and then knelt down beside my
bed, close to my head.  I could feel tears forming, and I stoically held them
back.  I would not cry.  I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction.

          "What's really bothering you?" he asked me.  "You're acting too
upset for someone who was just embarrassed.  What is it?"

          "Nothing.  Just leave me alone."

          "Bullshit.  You're more than embarrassed.  You keep looking at me
like you're waiting for me to bite you or something.  You're acting scared.
What are you so afraid of?"

          "I'm not scared!" I practically screamed at him.  He was hitting
too close to home.  "You have no idea what is going on in my head, so back
the fuck off!"

          "And that would be whose fault?  I have no idea what's goin' on in
your head cuz you won't tell me what's goin' on in your head.  If I'm
wrong, correct me.  But as it stands, I think you're afraid of getting too
close to us.  You think we're gonna turn on you cuz you're queer.  You think
the shit we said was just a set up to get you to do something, to give us a
reason to kick your ass or something.  Am I right?"

         "Just leave me alone," I was crying now.  Damn he was good.  What
the fuck was he?  Scotland Yard? "Please, just go away."

         "I notice you don't deny it, so I assume I'm right.  Luke, listen,
I can't speak for the others, because I can't read their minds.  For all I
know, that's exactly what they intended.  I doubt it, but, yeah, the
possibility is there.  But for myself, I can tell for sure, I can swear, if
ya want.  I am not trying to hurt you, I have no reason to hurt you.  The
shit I said initially was just a knee jerk reaction to hearing someone tell
me they were gay.  That's the first time I ever heard someone say the words
out loud.  I've known a few gay guys, from high school and summer camp, and
it was just known, but never mentioned.

          "I've never done anything with the guys I knew, unless you count
circle jerks as sex, and I never really had any desire to give it a go, but
it's not something that turns my stomach.  I'm not grossed out by it.  I've
seen two guys making out.  Hell, I've even watched gay porn with my best
friend when we were freshmen.  We swiped it from his older brother's stash
and wanted to know just what his brother did in bed.  We both jerked off
watching it, because it was sexy to watch.  Believe me, I'm not afraid of gay
sex, I just haven't had the drive to actively pursue it.  I like pussy too
much, so it never occurred to me to expand my repertoire.
          "But I've also never lived with a gay guy before.  Hearing the
others joking about wanting to fuck around with you made me want to be
included.  I was thinking that if I ever got the chance, I'd take it, just to
see what all the fuss is about.  It would be an excuse to try something that
I've watched from the sideline lots of times in the past.  I don't know if
the others were serious, but I was.  So, at least stop being so damned afraid
of me."

          I was watching him the entire time he was speaking.  His eyes
remained locked on mine, unwavering, without a hint of malice.  He was
telling the truth.  I thought back to the other three.  Ryan had found my
porn, and Matt had even caught me watching it.  Both had waved it off as no
big deal.  Jude had come in to give his endorsement and had even kissed me.
Was I really just being an oversensitive prick?
          Sniffling, I sat up and wiped my eyes.  I looked at Josh and smiled.
          "You're right," I said finally, "I need to calm down.  You guys
have all been great.  I should be appreciative that I have understanding
roommates.  I lost my parents last year, and I guess I'm a little jittery
about letting anyone else get too close, afraid that I'd lose them too.
You're right, Josh.  You guys are just what I need: friends that accept
me for me without me having to be afraid of you guys bolting off."

          "So we're all good?"

          "We're all good," I said with a smile.

          "Great.  So you'll come to the party?"

          "What party?" I asked in confusion.  "We were already invited to a
party?"

          Josh rolled his eyes to the heavens.
          "Lord, how quickly they forget," he said. "Us boys have a hot tub
party tonight, remember?  We didn't buy all that booze and junk food for
nothing, ya know."

          "Oh, yeah, I had forgotten about that.  So, when is the infernal
event to take place?"

          "It's already getting started.  We were wondering where the hell
you were, so I volunteered to come and get you.  So grab your suit and let's
go," he paused for a second and then grinned evilly at me.  "Not that it'll
remain on your body for long.  Matt said something about truth or dare."

          "Great.  That'll give me the opportunity to make you guys do
unspeakable things to each other," I said with a smile.

          "Unspeakable?  Nay, let us speak of them.  Just remember that turn
about's fair play.  What comes around goes around.  Eye for and eye, tooth
for a..."

          "Okay, I get it, already," I said, pushing him away.  "Hey, how
did you get in here anyway?  I distinctly remember locking my door."

          "You left your patio door unlocked," he said, pointing to the open
door behind him.

          "Oh yeah, oops.  OK, well, go away so I can change."

          "Actually, I believe I'll stay right here and watch you.  I wanna
see what kind of body you have hiding under all those sharply cut clothes."

          "What!?" I exclaimed. "I don't think so.  You wanna see the
goods, you wait for the hot tub like everybody else."

          "Fine, I'll wait.  Know now, though, that you will be `nekkid'
before the night is done."

          "Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Consider yourself warned as well, bitch."

          I pushed him out the door and turned around to get changed for our
first party.  I wondered if the girls were gonna be there.  I doubt that I
would be able to do any risque dares or show skin if they were present.  I
dunno.  We'll see, I guess.  Dear God, this was gonna be weird.
       TBC