Date: Sun, 12 Jul 2009 19:16:25 -0500
From: Cameron Maxx <cameron.maxx@gmail.com>
Subject: Growing Up Josh 11 (REVISED)

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This story is a work of FICTION. While actual people and/or events may
inspire some characters and situations, no implications are intended or
should be drawn. Any similarities to actual events or persons are strictly
coincidental.

THIS STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ACTS BETWEEN
TWO ADULT MALES. IT IS INTENDED FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY! IF YOU FIND
THIS TYPE OF MATERIAL OFFENSIVE, IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, OR UNDER THE LEGAL
AGE TO VIEW SUCH MATERIAL THEN PLEASE READ NO FURTHER.

Copyright 2007-2009 All original material contained here within is
copyrighted by the author, Cameron Maxx, and may not be reproduced in any
form without express written consent. The Nifty Archive is granted a
non-exclusive, worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, and non-cancelable
license to display this work.

PLEASE NOTE: Feedback, both positive and negative, is welcomed and greatly
appreciated. Abusive correspondence or flames of any kind will, of course,
be strictly ignored - cameron.maxx@gmail.com

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INTRODUCTION

Well, here it is, chapter 11. The bad news? It took a little longer to get
it posted than I thought it would. The good news? The next chapter is
already well under way and was, in fact, originally part of this chapter.
As I kept typing and typing I realized I was on my way to another 60+ KB
chapter and decided, instead of making you wait any longer, to break it up
into two chapters.

On a more personal note, thanks to everyone who's taken the time to contact
me about the story or to offer your kind and supportive words as I continue
my recovery from foot surgery. It means a lot and I hope you all continue
to enjoy the story as Josh and Alex continue on their journey.

-Cameron




CHAPTER 11



"I was wondering when you were going to bring this up," he replied.

"Well, don't you think there are a few things we should discuss before they
get here?"

"Like what?"

I took a deep breath, trying not to get impatient with his usual
unwillingness to divulge too much. "For example, does your mom know
anything about what's happened between us over the last few weeks?"

"No," he replied calmly, not offering any further explanation.

"Okay," I said. "And, does she know about your dating history? Anything at
all about the girls or the boys?"

"We've never talked about it specifically." I wasn't surprised to hear
that. "But, I think she has her ideas and I'm sure Cadee's told her
something because she never shuts up."

"So, you've talked to Cadee about it?"

"Yeah," he said as though I should have known that without even
asking. "She met Leah and Justin both several times."

"And?"

"And, she was fine with it all. She just called me a whore." I laughed
despite myself. That sounded exactly like the outspoken, totally
self-assured Cadee I remembered. "What are you laughing at?" he
demanded. "I'm not a whore."

"No, Josh you're not a whore, that's for sure," I said. "Whores get paid
for their sex. So, technically, that would make you more of a slut."

Wicked fast, he reached down and behind himself, grabbing my scrotum in his
hand and squeezing. His fist closed down hard on my balls and pain shot up
my abdomen like a hard punch in the stomach. "Ouch! Oh, oh..." I huffed and
puffed, "Fuck that hurts, okay ... okay! You're not a slut!" I pleaded.

"Now, that's more like it," he said before slowly relaxing his grip. "See
how much better it is when you're being nice?"

"Jesus..." I said, still breathless, my balls throbbing and aching a
little. "You're an asshole."

"I'm not the one who called you a slut," he reminded me.

I refused to agree with him, so instead just waited a moment then tried to
get back on topic. "Whatever. Back to the point, you think Cadee has told
your mom? Why?"

"Because, I know my sister and she loves a good story. She couldn't resist
a piece of juicy gossip to save her life."

"Has your mom ever said anything to you about it?"

"No, not directly. But she's made a few comments that lead me to believe
that she is aware of my history. Or, at least part of it."

"And she's never seemed to have a problem with the fact that you might be
sleeping with guys?"

"Not at all. You know her, Alex ... might actually prefer that I end up
with a guy. She may be the only mom in the history of the world that would
be upset if her son had to sit her down and come out as straight."

"Well, she's always been very cool with me, and with all things gay in
general. But, it's different when it's your own kid. It can be tough for
even the most liberal of parents."

"Maybe, but I really don't think it will be that way."

I thought about what he said for a few minutes and about Abbey in general,
considering all our many years of friendship. "Plus, we have to consider
this is you and me, not you and any other guy. Your mom sent you out here
to live in my house because she trusted me to look out for you, take care
of you, since she wouldn't be here to do it herself. You're 15 years
younger than I am and while you've clearly made peace with that and while I
am, slowly, becoming more and more comfortable with it, we just don't know
what she'll think about it. I mean, it can be a lot to take in and we can't
expect her to just accept it, no questions asked. That's not fair or
realistic."

"Your mom seemed to accept it pretty quickly when we were in Villette."

"That's different. First, there's the fact that my mom has known I'm gay
for over 16 years. So, she didn't have that to deal with. Plus, I'm her
son, not you; I'm the 35-year-old one, not the 20-year-old one, in the
relationship."

"Oh, so you're telling me a much younger person never takes advantage of or
uses an older person in a relationship?" he countered.

"That's not what I'm saying. It's just not the way most people look at it,
especially when it involves a gay male relationship and you know that."

"Maybe," he admitted. "But, we're not talking about the whole world right
now, we're talking about my mom and I think she'll be fine with it."

"I hope you're right, buddy. But whether you like it or not, we're going to
have to talk to her about it when she's here and we need to figure out how
we're going to do that."

There was a moment of silence between us then he said, "I think Cadee and
mom might already know."

"What?" I asked, a little shocked.

"Or at least, have a pretty good idea."

"Okay, please do tell me exactly what the hell you're talking about."

He sat up and rolled over, lying back down so that he was facing me
now. "Cadee, well actually, both of them used to make comments ... jokes
... about you and me and how we were like a couple and they were stuck
between us."

I suspected I knew what he was talking about, but decided to let him
finish. "Go on," I said.

"You know, how for a few years after you left Austin, I didn't really talk
to you that much?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it was because I was pissed at you for leaving. I wasn't really
aware of it at the time, but I felt like you'd left me. Not Austin. Not
your life there, but me. I know now that it's dumb and really selfish of
me, but that's the way I felt. So, I was mad at you and didn't want to talk
to you, but still hated not talking to you. Whenever you'd call, I'd always
ask about you afterwards; I couldn't help it. I'd have a thousand questions
for mom or Cadee, whichever one you'd talked to. Eventually Cadee started
making jokes about you ... calling you my boyfriend and saying we were
fighting and not speaking ... it was annoying, but I guess it must have
kind of felt like that to them. I'd ask mom to tell you something for me
and sooner or later, she asked me why I couldn't just talk to you
myself. She never really pushed me on it, but I think she knew on some
level there was some truth in what Cadee was teasing me about."

His words made my heart ache. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch
him there, so close to me now on the bed. "I missed you so much all those
years," I said quietly.

His face broke into a huge grin and he rolled his eyes. "You're SO GAY!"

I laughed; he was such a smartass. "Apparently, I'm not the only one who
was missing someone," I shot back at him.

He smiled again, then got a serious look on his face before moving forward
and kissing me softly on the cheek. Holding close, so that his lips were
just above my ear, he whispered, "I missed you in ways I can't even explain
to myself, much less to you."

He laid back, his face still very serious and his eyes focused on mine. I
wasn't sure what to say at that moment. I decided, in true Josh fashion, to
be a smartass. "My god, I can see your vagina from here."

He cracked up, a deep and hearty laugh. I laughed, too. "I hate you so much
sometimes," he said but was still laughing.

After the laughter had passed and we were both quiet for a moment, he said,
"I think you should take Cadee somewhere and talk to her and I'll talk to
my mom on my own."

"I'm not so sure about that, Josh. I was actually thinking it should be me
who talks to Abbey first."

"Why?"

"Well, because I want her to hear it from me, to know that I'm being
upfront with her. I don't want her to think I'm ashamed of what's happened
or that I'm trying to dodge some sort of responsibility."

"Alex, I'm legal. Remember? You didn't do anything illegal or shameful."

"I know, but still. The point remains that you're here in my keeping and -
I don't know - maybe we should at least talk to her together?"

"No," he said firmly. I could tell by the tone of his voice and the tight
line of his lips that he was going to dig in on this. "She's my mom,
Alex. I'm an adult and this is my decision. It just is."

I took a deep breath, the exhaled slowly. "Okay," I acquiesced. "Okay,
we'll do it your way. But, if you're going to be such a responsible,
demanding partner in this relationship, you should really start earning
your keep around here, I think."

He cocked one eyebrow up at me and smirked, "Really?"

"Yes, really."

"I thought I was already earning my keep around here. I mean, I'm pretty
sure you haven't had to jerk off too often these past few weeks and, as I
recall, my mom still sends a monthly allowance to you and I both to help
cover my costs."

"HA!" I guffawed loudly. "Allowance? You have no idea. I should kick your
ass out on the street and let you and four or five of your friends split
the rent for a shitty, one bedroom apartment. Then you'd know what earning
your keep in L.A. really means."

"You'd kick me out?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Yeah, maybe ... if you get too demanding or cocky. You don't know me."

"I don't know you?"

"Maybe not as well as you think."

He licked his lips, then smacked them together and apart, making a popping
sound. He reached one hand out and pushed me gently so that I was laying
flat on my back. He crawled on top, his smooth chest to my hairy one, his
legs straddling my crotch. "Well, I'll show you what I do know," he said
and then slid slowly down my body, kissing and licking as he did. When he
finally made it to my dick, it was already rock hard. He took it in his
mouth and in one, sweeping dive took me in all the way to the root, my
glans flaring and pressing past his tongue and into the opening of his
throat.

I inhaled sharply, moaning and involuntarily thrusting my hips up, pushing
into him even further. I groaned and my hands, which had made their way to
his head, curled into fists, grasping his shaggy hair and forcing his face
down, shoving more of my throbbing dick into his throat. He didn't gag. He
didn't flinch. He opened his mouth to me and took all I could give. My
arousal was wrapped in a hot, tight, drooling glove and I shuddered, afraid
I'd shoot at that moment. But, he backed off before I could. He looked up
at me, his eyes narrowed to a devious slit and the corners of his obscenely
wet, puffy lips turned up in a knowing smile. Before I could react or say
anything, he dove back down onto my hardness and proceeded to give me the
blowjob to end all blowjobs. This is why oral sex was invented. This is why
every man should have the pleasure of another man sucking him off at least
once. I writhed and moaned, felt like my head might spin and like I
couldn't get enough oxygen into my lungs. Where Josh had learned to do the
things he was doing, I neither knew nor cared. Though I was never a
particularly religious person, I knew there was something sinful and unholy
about what that boy did with his lips, tongue, and throat there in my
bed. But I loved every minute of that sweet blasphemy. By the time I shot a
huge load, all the more amazing as I'd put a large deposit of cum into his
bowels less than an hour before, over that talented tongue and into his
stomach I really did think I might pass out. He continued to suck and nurse
on my dick until I was completely limp then slithered himself back up my
body and laid down on me, his soft cheek resting on my flushed and sweaty
chest.

My hands were still shaky as I wrapped my arms around his back, holding him
to me. My legs felt weak and I was sure that if I were to try and stand at
that moment my knees would buckle. "Jesus Christ, Josh..." I muttered.

"Have I earned my keep?" he asked quietly.

"Yes. Holy shit, yes," I answered still mostly breathless.

"And we can play this thing with my mom and Cadee my way?"

"Yes, absolutely. No debate, no question. Any way you want, baby."

I was still trying to slow my breathing; he said nothing for a
moment. "You've never call me baby before."

I chuckled, a little surprised he'd even caught that after what he'd just
done to me. "I didn't think you'd mind after that last little act of
yours."

"It's okay," he said. Then, "I don't think I mind, actually."

"Okay, good." Then, with Josh still on top of me and my arms around him, I
drifted off to sleep more relaxed than I'd been in ages.

----

The next day was Monday and neither Josh nor I had classes to worry about
as the holiday was so close. Thanksgiving was, of course, on
Thursday. Abbey and Cadee were scheduled to arrive fairly early in the
morning on Tuesday. He and I spent the day making last minute preparations
and far too much time and money at the grocery store. We bought enough food
to prepare a Thanksgiving feast for a small army. The fact that we were
cooking for only four seemed to escape us both. I think, without really
knowing it, we were trying to impress upon his mom the state of our
domestic bliss by presenting her with a dinner that would redefine the very
concept of gluttonous excess.

By the time we crawled, exhausted, into bed that night my place was
spotless. You could eat off the concrete or hardwood floors. Either one,
take your pick. Countertops had been scrubbed and buffed. Toilets were
gleaming, blindingly white. Every book, term paper, or half-edited
screenplay in my study was properly filed, ordered, or stuffed into the
back of a drawer if nothing else. I'd always been a bit of a neat freak, so
I'm not sure what exactly I was trying to prove to Abbey this time. Well, I
did know. Josh did, too. Despite his reassurances that his mom would take
the news well, he cleaned with a semi-manic energy that I'd never get out
of him on a normal weekend. In fact, I usually had to beg or threaten him
endlessly just to get him to pick his damn dirty clothes up off the
floor. So, seeing him in this cleaning frenzy told me he was suffering a
little more anxiety inside than he wanted to let on.

Laying now in the dark bedroom, my arm draped lazily over him, sex was the
last thing on my mind. "You tired?" I asked.

"So tired," he answered immediately.

"Then it's okay if I don't send you into the usual, mind-bending sexual
nirvana you've become accustomed to?"

He laughed. "If you even tried, I'd punch you."

"You don't have the energy to punch me. You couldn't fight me off even if
you wanted," I teased.

"Fine," he agreed. "You're right. I'll just lay here, motionless, while you
have your way with me. I'm really too tired to care. Please, just make it
quick."

I considered his offer for a moment, knowing full well I was too tired to
do it even if he put up no resistance at all. "Fuck it," I said
finally. "I'm too tired to even try."

He laughed again. "I knew it! You didn't even want it in the first
place. You just wanted me to be the first to say no."

"Joshua, I'm never too tired to get you off. I'm just being selfless."

"Alex, shut up!" he laughed again and elbowed me softly in the ribs.

"Night, Joshua."

"Good night."

My arm was still over him and I nuzzled my face into his soft, sweet
smelling hair. 'I love you,' ran through my head. I considered saying it
aloud. I didn't.

----

Tuesday morning dawned clear, cool, and sunny over Los Angeles. Though it
was near the end of November, the season had been mild and beautiful even
by California standards. The days were bright with highs in the
mid-seventies and the evenings were crisp, hovering around the 50-degree
point. The cold, grey rain that sometimes marked a Pacific Coast fall had
yet to arrive. Abbey and Cadee were scheduled to touch down at LAX a little
after 9:30 that morning; Josh and I were in the car and on our way about an
hour before then.

Traffic was light, even as we neared the airport. When people went home for
the holidays that usually meant they left the city. There was a joke that
no one actually grew up in L.A. To a degree, that was true. Come
Thanksgiving or Christmas the streets would often start to feel a bit
deserted as the thousands who'd been lured to the sparkle and shine
returned home to the Midwest or North East, looking forward to snow on the
ground and logs burning and crackling in the fireplace.

Of course, since so many people were flying out of Southern California that
morning, the long-term parking was filled so I paid some ridiculous fee to
valet curbside at the terminal. Even after living here for years, I was
still sometimes floored at the criminally insane price that was charged to
have some kid park your car. Oh, well. At least it would be quick and
convenient with our added passengers and their luggage.

As the valet pulled away in my car, I turned to look at Josh standing a few
feet away near the automatic glass door. He looked like he might be feeling
a little queasy. I smiled. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, fine." He sounded less like he was being courageous and more like he
was trying really hard to summon his courage.

"Would you even tell me if you weren't?"

He shot me a glance that told me I was pushing it. "I'm fine. Will you stop
asking me if I'm fine? You're stressing me out!"

"Okay," I relented, still not buying his story. "Sorry." I put my arm
around his shoulders, giving him a brief, reassuring squeeze, which he
accepted, then I nudged him forward and through the door.

----

We sat in the ceiling soaring, sun-filled lobby for about 10 or 15
minutes. I was thumbing through a magazine some previous traveler had left
on the bench while Josh compulsively sent and received text messages from
one person after another. The constant tapping of his fingers on the
keyboard became an almost hypnotic beat in the back of my brain. When the
incoming call's first ring sounded, he jerked like he'd been poked hard in
the ribs and I think he almost dropped the phone.

"Hello?" he answered, pressing the phone to his ear. "Yeah, we're here." I
turned to look at him, his face a mix of eager nervousness and
excitement. "We're in the lobby. We can see the baggage claim from where
we're sitting." He paused, listening, then, "Okay. We'll see you in a few
minutes." Another pause. "Love you, too." He hung up, lowering the phone
and looked at me.

"Well?" I asked.

"They're on the ground, taxing up to the gate now."

"Okay," I said and turned back to my magazine.

"Alex?"

"Yes?" I answered, but didn't look up.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure," still casually thumbing through the magazine.

"I'm a little nervous."

I waited a moment, not looking at him, but smiling at his admission. "I
know."

There was a moment of silence, like he was waiting for me to say
something. When I didn't, he finally did. "Say something."

That's when I set the periodical aside and turned towards him. I took his
hand, holding it in his lap, and said, "Listen. It's okay that you're
nervous. You should be; it's only normal and natural. This is kind of a big
deal. Gay or straight, meeting the parents - so to speak - is a fairly
serious next step. And, when you consider our specific history, your mom's
and mine I mean, that just adds an extra layer of complication to the whole
thing." I paused a moment, wanting to be sure he was really hearing
me. "That being said, it's going to be fine. I promise you that. I don't
know how your mom is going to react but one thing I do know, beyond a
shadow of a doubt, is that she loves you very much. She always trusted you
to make good decisions and respects you for your maturity. I know that. And
I also know that, no matter what happens over the next few days, that when
your mom and sister get on that plane to fly back to Texas, I'll still be
here ... and you'll still be with me ... and we'll get through it
together." I rubbed my thumb along the side of his hand. "Okay, Joshua?"

He nodded and smiled a quick, gracious smile. "Okay." Then, catching me a
bit off guard, he leaned forward and hugged me fiercely. Before I could
even raise my own arms to return the hug, he pulled back and looked me in
the eyes. "Okay," he said again more firmly this time.

And that was it. Whatever storm of self-doubt that had been battering him
was gone. It had passed as though it had never been. I could tell by the
tone of his voice and the set of his face that his normal, easy-going
confidence had returned. I was as sure of that as I was my own name.

A few minutes later Abbey and Cadee appeared, pulling their bags behind
them. Josh walked quickly to them, embracing his mom first and then his
sister. I went a bit slower, lagging behind to allow the family their
greetings.

Abbey turned to me and smiled. She looked much as I remembered her, but
with a few more years of life resting easily and with a certain pleasurable
softness on her face. Her big, white teeth were prominent as always and,
like Josh, because of the mixed blood that served as her heritage her skin
was a darker color than mine. It was though she'd never missed a day in the
California sun. Her hair was longer and a bit darker than when I'd last
seen her, but there was no denying that she was still a blonde by birth.

"Hi, there friend," I said and returned the smile.

"Alex," she said and opened her arms to me. I bent to hug her short frame
and she wrapped her arms around me tightly before patting me on the back a
couple of times. I stood up straight again, meeting her gaze. "Alex, Alex,
Alex," she said.

"Abbey..."

"You know, Texas hasn't been quite the same without you."

I laughed. "I can only imagine," I replied before turning to Cadee who
stood beside her brother, watching Abbey and me.

"Cadee?" I asked.

"It's me!"

"Holy, shit. I can't believe it - you look absolutely amazing," I said. And
she did. It was like looking at some biological hybrid of her mom and
Josh. The shared family genes were striking. Almost as tall as her brother,
perhaps only not so because of his sneakers compared to her thin sandals,
her own rich honey hair was longer than his but not as long as Abbey's. She
shared their rich, creamy skin tone, ever so slightly
too-broad-for-their-face nose, and big, white teeth. Her body seemed to be
the female version of her sibling's, naturally toned and fit, but with a
curvy softness that made her movements at once easy and inviting but also
graceful and seductive. She was every bit the beauty that her brother
was. "I mean, really," I continued, "You look fantastic."

"Awww..." she broke into a huge grin. "Thank you!" she said before grabbing
me and giving me a big hug.

While we were still hugging, I turned to Abbey and said, "You sure did
manage to squeeze out two good looking kids, you know that?"

She laughed again. "Yeah, they didn't turn out too bad, did they?"

"No, not too bad at all," I agreed. "I feel totally out of place standing
here with this family. You are all far too good looking for me!"

"Yeah, well," Cadee said, letting go of me, "The beautiful people need
someone to carry our bags for us so let's get going."

"Cadee!" both Abbey and Josh exclaimed at almost the same time.

But I just chuckled and rolled my eyes. "Still the sarcastic little bitch,
I see."

"Always, dude" she shot back and punched my shoulder. "Now, seriously
enough with the hugging and kissing bullshit. Can we get going? I'm
starving!"

Abbey shot me an exasperated look and shook her head. "I swear this one
eats more than her brother ever did in high school! Can you believe it?
She's literally always hungry."

"And sounds like she's got quite the potty mouth on her, too," I remarked.

Josh piped up then. "I wonder where she could have ever gotten that from?"

"Oh, don't even try to blame that on me," I said turning to him. "I mean,
your mother's been around her for a lot more years than me. Plus, if I was
the bad influence here, shouldn't you be cussing like a sailor, too?"

"Yes, but unlike her," he said throwing a thumb in Cadee's direction, "I
take after my sweet, quiet, classy mother." Then he wrapped one arm around
his mom's shoulders and planted a quick kiss on her cheek.

Abbey beamed. "Oh, I do love my first born very, very much."

Cadee and I looked at each other, looks of mutual disgust on our
faces. "Jesus..." she muttered.

"I'm with you," I said. "It's getting pretty fucking thick in here."

"Yeah, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."

I laughed, then grabbed her bag from her. "C'mon, sister. Let's get going
before they start making out or something."

We took off, Josh and Abbey behind us, his arm still draped over her
shoulder. "I'm not ashamed," she called after us. "I love my dear, baby boy
and I'm not ashamed." I glanced at Cadee and she shook her head. Neither of
us looked back but instead kept walking, heading for the valet station on
the other side of the glass door.

----

From the airport we took I-105 east and then headed up the 110 towards
downtown and the USC campus just beyond. Josh and I had decided we wanted
to go to Pete's Cafe on Main Street for lunch that day. It was one of our
favorite casual dining places and figured it was a perfect first California
meal for his mom and sister.

We enjoyed a nice, long lunch sitting and talking for over two hours. There
was a lot of laughing and catching up to be done and it happened
easily. Though we'd been separated by thousands of miles for years, it was
almost like we'd never lived apart. Cadee had grown into a charming, funny,
irreverent spitfire and she and I ganged up on her brother more than
once. I really liked her company and we always seemed to be on the same
sarcastic, cynical page. It was just a question of which one of us got
there first. As for Abbey, she was still the same person I'd fallen for all
that time ago in Austin. I was reminded instantly why she and I had clicked
so well as friends and I had no doubt she would always be near and dear to
my heart. It pained me to think that the relationship that had formed
between Josh and myself might cause her even a moment's hesitation or
doubt. But, instead of worrying over something I had no control over, I
pushed those thoughts down and away, determined to live in the moment at
hand and cross those other bridges only when I came to them.

That first day passed quickly and felt like a sort of fairytale as we took
a tour of downtown Los Angeles and the university campus. A cool breeze
blew over us and the clear sunshine poured down as we walked around
Pershing Square and the Disney Concert Hall. Even after living in
California for all those years, there were days that its magic still took
my breath away; I suspected it might be a lifelong thing. I felt a crazy
urge to get in the car and head north, up the 101, just to take in the
coast and the sky that ran blue and beautiful into it. It was a sort of
fairytale and I wouldn't have put that day back for all the money in the
world.

By the time we started back to my place, the day was already growing late
and the sun was beginning its slow but steady descent into the Pacific. We
unloaded the luggage from the car before heading inside. Josh and I had
decided that for at least the first night it would be best for his mom and
Cadee to sleep in the guest room - or his room as we were careful to call
it - and that he'd sleep on the sofa. We got the bags into their room then
I let Josh give them the deluxe, guided viewing. He was still more in love
with, and in awe of, the old warehouse than I was so I figured I'd let him
take the lead. It was fun to watch and listen as he still got wide eyed and
excited. Standing back and taking it all in I was struck by just how head
over feet I was for him and then got nervous again pondering what Abbey's
reaction might be. So, I excused myself momentarily and retreated to the
study to check my e-mail and take care of a few things on the screenplay I
was editing.

A bit later we ate a light dinner that Abbey and I made in the kitchen
while the siblings hung out in the living room, half watching television
and half catching up on this and that.

"So, you're surviving my son?" Abbey asked as we were chopping vegetables
for the salad.

"Yeah, more or less, I think."

She chuckled. "You know, he's always been crazy about you." I looked at
her, unsure of what to say or where she was going. Instead I just smiled
and shrugged my shoulders, hoping she'd continue. "But, and I'll be honest
with you here," she said, "I didn't know if he'd ever forgive you for
leaving when you did."

I decided to be honest with her. "I know. We've talked about that."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," I continued. "He told me he took it personally. He felt like I'd
just left him. He says he's over it now and that he knows it wasn't fair or
mature. But, I'm not so sure. Sometimes I think he still holds it against
me."

"Well, Alex ... in his defense ... you've got to cut him a little slack. I
mean, you two always had a very unique, and if I do say so myself,
complicated interaction. You were kind of like a father, big brother, and
best friend all rolled into one for him. So, when you left, he lost all
those things, not just one of them."

"But, I wasn't really any of those things," I countered. "Not really. Or,
at least, I didn't know I was. It never crossed my mind he'd feel that way,
you know?"

"I know that," she assured me. "Though, it doesn't change the fact that
it's the way it felt to him. Listen, Cadee and I never could talk to him
the way you did. No one could really. It was almost like you two spoke some
foreign, Josh language and I always envied you a little for that. I wish I
spoke it."

"Abbey!" I said. "You know he loves you so much, you've got to know
that. In fact, you two are so much alike sometimes that it's scary."

"Oh, I know he loves me. I've never doubted that. But, you just had a key
to him that I didn't. It's different, that's all I'm saying. And when you
left you took that key with you."

I looked at her a moment, taking in what she'd said, turning the words over
in my mind. I nodded. She was right. I should have been more sensitive to
what he felt back then. For that matter, I should have been more sensitive
to what he was feeling the last few months since he'd come to live with me,
too. I had failed to tune into him and Abbey had managed to make me aware
of that in her own, subtle way. "Okay," I said finally. "I get what you're
saying."

"I'm not trying to make you feel like a dick, Alex."

"Well, you're doing a pretty good job for not trying."

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Stop playing the victim, you old queen!
You know that if you ever had or ever would intentionally hurt him I'd have
never agreed to this whole California thing. I just wanted to, maybe, give
you a little insight into where he might be coming from."

"And you did," I said. "You really did. Thank you."

"What are friends for?" she asked.

"For enlightenment and making one feel like a dick, of course."

"Queen," she replied.

----

Dinner was a quick and casual affair with even more catching up done over
the meal. By 9:00 that night, we were all tired and ready for bed; Abbey
and Cadee because they were up early then traveling all day, Josh and I
from our epic cleaning spree the day before. Shortly after 10:00 had come
and gone, we said our goodnights and were in bed.

I was surprised to find how quickly I'd grown accustom to sharing my bed
with Josh. It felt too big, empty and cold, without him spooned up against
me. I was a little disturbed to realize I missed him even though he rested
on the sofa, just one wall away from me. But the long days and physical
exhaustion did the job and won out over my loneliness and I fell asleep
sooner than I thought I would.

Sometime later, movement awakened me as he crawled into bed, snuggling his
warm smooth body up against mine. I felt his breathing on my neck, just at
the top of my chest and his hair against my chin. "What time is it?" I
asked quietly.

"A little after 2:00," he answered.

"You shouldn't be in here," I said.

"Didn't you miss me?"

"A little."

"Just a little?"

"Just a little, but I was REALLY tired."

He laughed a little and poked me in the stomach with a hard, stiff
finger. "I hate you so much," he said.

"No you don't. And you should really stop saying it so often if you can
never back it up."

"No," he paused, "No, I don't. But at least I try to from time to time."

"Duly noted."

"Can I stay here with you?"

"Your mom and sister are right across the hall, Josh. Does that not make
you a little nervous?"

"A little, but I woke up and I couldn't go back to sleep."

"So you came in here to make sure I was awake and suffering, too?"

"Something like that," he answered.

I thought for a minute. "Okay, you can stay." He kissed my neck, nuzzling
and licking a little afterwards. "Hey! I said you could stay and
sleep. But, none of that."

"You're no fun," he whispered.

"Yeah, well sorry about that but one of us needs to remember who's right
across the hall."

"Fine," he pouted.

I rolled over, grabbing my phone from the side table. "And, I'm setting my
alarm for 6:00 AM. I don't want them waking up before we do. When this
alarm goes off, your ass heads back to the sofa, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Got it."

"Good."

I finished setting the alarm on my phone, then set it back on the
table. "So, are we still on for your plan tomorrow?" I asked him.

"Yes."

"I take Cadee to Venice Beach, you talk to your mom here?"

"Yes."

"Okay," I said.

"Alex, it's going to work."

"I know."

"Just trust me. Be ready to go after lunch and trust me."

"I will be. And I do."

There was a moment of silence and I closed my eyes, thinking we were
through with the conversation. Just as I was about to drift off again,
"Alex?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. For all of this and for letting me do it my way."

I started to say something, then decided against it. Instead, I just
wrapped my arms around him, puling him closer against me and gently kissed
the top of his head, inhaling his scent as I did. I closed my eyes again
and slept soundly.