Date: Sat, 21 Apr 2001 04:32:28 EDT
From: Dakotajoe2000@cs.com
Subject: Hanging By A Moment, Chapter Four

	This story is copyrighted and the sole possession of the author.
No duplication is permitted without the express written consent of the
author.  It will contain graphic description of consensual male to male sex
and may be offensive to some.  If this is not something you wish to read,
please look elsewhere.  Certain events in the story are based loosely on
real events so the names of the characters, with the exception of mine,
have been changed to reflect that.  Hanging By A Moment is the title of a
song by Lifehouse. Constructive email can be sent to Dakotajoe2000@cs.com

Hanging By A Moment, Chapter Four

	Winds howled around the trees as the thunderstorm grew in
intensity.  Large drops of rain started to collect on the windshield,
slowly forming a tear and dropping onto the hood of the car.  Nick glanced
nervously at his driver's side mirror and looked for signs of
approaching traffic.  He'd been at this place before and seen the same
traffic pass by over and over.  True, they were different cars with
different people, but the traffic remained the same.
	Viciously the winds beat at his car.  Nick was in a daze and
couldn't feel the car shift beneath him.  He had things swirling around
in his mind that were far more intense than the winds outside.  A sharp
crack to his left brought his gaze to a brilliant lightning stroke.  It was
just enough to break the daze.  Tears that had been hiding came out to do
fierce battle with the rain.  It had been more than a year since he had
last cried.

************************************************************************

	I don't remember ever seeing Brandon's face as we drove to
the airport.  He had packed in silence.  We were both in the bedroom
together and made eye contact numerous times, but nothing was shared.  He
really was special to me, and letting him go was going to be very hard on
me.  I had gone through quite an experience over that summer.  I had lost
the first guy I ever loved, actually my fiancee at the time.  He never
really told me why we broke up, just that we had.  I cried over that.  I
had gone to Seattle and met Jason.  Upon returning to Columbus and
realizing how much I cared for him, I cried more times than I could count.
Now, I was dealing with this.  I had developed deep feelings for this young
gentleman in front of me in just six days.  Is that possible?  I don't
know, but I promised myself I wouldn't cry.
	"Kay stud, I'm ready to go."
	He was standing there looking so adorable that I just smiled at
him.  We made our way down the stairs and grabbed both of the bags he had
sitting at the bottom.  I set the alarm panel and we gave each other a hug
before going outside.  It was relatively easy to load the car, as we just
tossed his stuff into the back seat.
	"Ya know, I can get you anywhere in Columbus in thirty
minutes?"
	"Um, yeah, you had told me that."
	"Couriers have to be able to do that.  Shoot, if I wanted to, I
could have you to the airport in fifteen minutes." There was an awkward
silence in the car and I figured that wasn't the best thing to say.  I
didn't dare look at him for fear of crying.  I pointed out various
features as we drove, probably the same ones I had shown him as we were
driving out less than a week ago.  We parked in the short term area and
headed towards the terminal.  It wasn't a long walk.
	The gate was crowded.  I scanned the general population for cute
boys as I always did.  Ooh, lucky me, there was one sitting right in front
of me.  He was sitting next to a woman who was obviously his mother and
didn't appreciate me staring at him the way I was.  Mothers are
intuitive about these things sometimes.  I shook the thought from my head,
knowing that I had what I wanted just inches from me.  I turned and looked
at him.
	"What?" he asked with his little grin.  He knew exactly why
I was looking at him.  There was no sexual tension, no signs of lust.  It
was pure admiration and it was reflected in his face.  I blushed.
	"Nothing," I whimpered and went back to looking at the cute
boy.  Mom glared at me again.  I felt someone pinch me and immediately
looked at Brandon.  He was smiling from ear to ear.
	"What?" he asked again.  I didn't respond, I just
looked at him like I was Forrest Gump with a fresh box of chocolates.  He
grabbed me around my neck and gave me one of the biggest noogies I've
ever had.  I giggled softly to myself, fighting back the urge to cry.  I
hung my head for a moment before glancing at Mom across the aisle.  She was
onto us, dag nab it.
	I started to choke something out, but the tears I was holding got
in the way. For the third time with the third different inflection he came.
	"What?"
	I sniffled, "Wouldn't it be funny if we did some kind of
spin off of `Unbreakable'?" He could see the wheels spinning in
my head and I could tell he didn't like where I was going with this.
	"I mean, didn't he blow up the plane or something?" I
asked all too loudly.  Mom looked at me again but her complexion had
changed.  She wasn't worried about her little boy anymore, she was
worried about the condition her chocolate chip cookies would be in if the
plane were to suffer some kind of major damage.  I know she had them in her
carry on bag....they always do.
	I laughed.  This was the first time I had caught myself doing that
today.  Mom was preoccupied with her thoughts and I took full advantage of
the situation.  I leaned over to Brandon and whispered into his ear, `I
Love You'.
	Boarding went smoothly and I didn't even stay to watch the
plane leave.  We didn't say goodbye, just looked at each other and
hugged the other tight.  I practically ran to my car, not bothering to look
at traffic as it came through the garage.  I was nearly downtown and doing
well emotionally, I thought, until I turned on the radio.  `I Knew I
Loved You' by Savage Garden was playing softly on the so-called soft
rock station.  That was all it took and the tears started flowing.
Situations like that are never good in heavy traffic so I tried to find
something to get my mind off of the situation.  I thought of Jason.  It
probably wasn't a good thing to do.  I cried harder.
	I don't remember getting from downtown to my house.  It's
nearly eight miles, so I was unaware of my surroundings for a lengthy
period of time.  There are times that I would fight the tears but in this
case it was healthier to let them go.  I sat outside on my steps for what
seemed like forever and let it all go.  I never wanted to cry again.


************************************************************************

	The phone rang several times without an answer.  The answering
machine picked up my call and I heard his voice on the other end telling me
to leave a message.  I choked.  I really needed to talk to him.  Andrea had
been right about me.  I had been wasting too much time worrying about
things and I just needed to let them play out.  I slid the phone back into
my jacket pocket without a word.  I didn't leave a message, I
wasn't sure how he'd respond to something like that.  I wanted to
make sure that I knew what his response would be, I wanted to hear it.  I
continued to stare out at the water for some time before I started to get
cold.
	It was really late when I got back to the car.  The dash told me it
was nearly four am.  I had been sitting there in the dark in the sand for
hours.  I pulled the phone back out and called Andrea.  She frantically
answered.
	"Hey," I whispered into the phone.
	"Where are you?!" she practically screamed.  I pulled the
phone back a bit.
	"I'm at Westport."
	"What are you doing at Westport?  You need to come back to
Seattle right now and talk to me."
	Some of this was sounding very familiar as I thought back to one of
my conversations with Nick.  The fact alone that I recognized the
similarities in the calls was enough to make me zone out.
	"Earth to Jason, are you still there?!"
	"Yeah, sorry.  I was thinking."
	"Boy, you've had plenty of time to be thinking.  Come home,
get into bed."
	There was that motherly side of her that appeared every so often.
I fully expected to get a hug from her when I did go home though.  I
wasn't sure when that was going to be.  I wanted to be alone for now.
	"No, I'm going to hang out here for a while."
	It got really quiet on the other end and I wasn't sure if she
was thinking or jumping up and down on the floor with her hand over the
receiver.  The latter was a funny thought and I actually started to giggle.
	"What's so funny?" she stammered.  Hmm.  Guess she was
thinking.
	"Nothing, I was just snickering.  Sorry.  Listen, I'm going
to go.  I need the rest.  I'll call you tomorrow and let you know
what's going on, okay?"
	"You bet, kiddo.  Take care.  Love you."

	That was that.  I turned the key over in the ignition and started
the wheels rolling.  As before, I wasn't sure where I was headed, but
the car knew.  Daybreak was quickly approaching as I pulled the car into
the parking lot.  I had crossed the bridge into Oregon at Astoria several
hours ago and decided it was time to stop.  I slept for a couple of hours
before I was aroused by some kids playing near the car.  I pulled myself
together a bit and stretched.  I walked down to the wooden steps and then
out onto the sand.  I had a horrible feeling in my gut and attributed it to
hunger.  I looked around me and stared at the sign protruding out of a rock
outcropping.  It read Cannon Beach.  I immediately got sick and puked into
a metal trash can near by.  The kids that had been playing near the car
just stopped and looked at me.  I dropped to my knees in the water and
started balling.  I never wanted to cry again.

************************************************************************

There is is!  I already know what chapter five has in store, just need to
write it.  Mid-terms are over as of Monday and no more taxes to do, so
I'm free to write.  YAY!

Hope you liked it and I look forward to your comments.
Nick