Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2001 02:28:14 EDT
From: H
Subject: "Heart Desires" - Part 6

As expected, this story contains graphic description of homosexual acts. If
you know you will have a problem with this, please locate the back button
as quickly as you can. No need for your blood levels to rise.

I was spent. Fucking takes a lot out of a person, especially when you go at
it all night. I looked on my watch and it showed 9:12pm. I realized Sam and
I had utilized the pass three hours for our lovemaking session. I was so
tired, but I knew I had to talk to Sam before he left and I know if I
waited until tomorrow, I may not get a chance. We were lying on top of each
other the whole time, as I pondered a way to break the silence. Sam was
rubbing his fingers through my hair and I just lay on his buffed chest,
thinking.

"Sam?" I said softly.

"Yes babes." He responded.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?" He inquired.

"Please don't get upset when I ask you this," I said, rising from his chest
now.

"Why do you think I'll get upset?" He asked

"I don't know." I responded.

"I'm listening, ask me what you want."

I began to sit up straight and finally said, "Did you really met someone in
Connecticut or you planned this all along?"

"You're calling me a liar, Taylor?" He questioned, looking into my eyes.

"No Sam, I didn't say that, I just don't understand why you would cheat on
a person you recently met." I tried.

"I don't believe this. Taylor I thought we made an arrangement, and that
had nothing to do with this person I met." He said. "Furthermore, I don't
see why it concerns you whether I cheat or not. I thought we had an
understanding of the whole situation."

"So you only see you and me as just being a friendly fuck and then you'll
be on your merry way." I inquired. "That's how you see it Sam? Cause I'm
telling you now, if it is, I don't want to see or hear from you again."

"Taylor, please, listen to me. I wanted it and so did you. Why mess up a
good thing?" He said. "Let me ask you something, do you want a relationship
with me?"

"I don't know what I want, because I thought you were honest with your
feelings in the beginning." I responded. "Here it is now, you're telling me
some shit that cheating on a mate don't matter."

"You're not listening to me Taylor." He exulted. "Of course cheating
matters to me. I'm not going to tell my mate anything, this is between you
and me. You know we had to resolve some things in our friendship and
wherever those things may have taken us, we had to explore them to find
out."

"And where are we now?" I said, getting really frustrated.

"Well, that leads us back to my originally question. Do you want a
relationship with me? He questioned.

"Do you?" I said, turning the tables on him. "I mean wanting a relationship
with me."

"Either way Taylor, it's going to be difficult. I live in Connecticut and
you live here in Tampa. You know you can't abstain from fucking too long,
it's like holding in your breath, when you know sooner or later you'll have
to let go."

"Well, you just answer your own question. It's impossible to have a long
distance relationship." I said, picking up my boxers and putting it on.

"It'll never work for you Taylor. You know that." He said, reaching for my
hands.

"All I know, is I feel like I've been used for your pleasure, and making
out with you didn't mean a damn thing to you." I said.

"Of course it did Taylor, come on, don't say something like that." He said,
trying to reassure me.

"It's true Sam. Do you even love this person?" I asked

"I don't know yet." He responded.

"What the hell do that mean? Never mind, I had enough for one night. My
body is weak and my mind clouded, I'm going to take a shower and lie down."
I said, picking up the reminder of my clothes and headed to the stairs.

"Taylor, I'm so sorry to how this all turned out. Please don't let me leave
here thinking you're angry with me." He tried.

"Sam, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Go get some sleep for that seminar in the
morning." I said, as I trot up the stairs.

I was angry with myself for letting myself be so stupid. I was foolish to
think Sam loved me the way I thought he did. Then again I thought to
myself, would I really want a relationship with Sam? The answer hit me
hard, NO, a thousand times no. Like he said, "why mess up a good thing?" He
seemed to be satisfied with just being my best friend and fucking me was
just a dream of his that had become reality. I on the other hand, took it
to a whole new level. I really felt sorry now and I didn't want Sam to
leave without him knowing that he was still my best friend. So what if we
fucked each other, best friends do that right?

An irritating ringing sound had awakened me. It was my damn phone. I looked
at my alarm and it showed 9:29am. I couldn't believe I slept through the
usual sounds Sam made, when he was getting dress. Oh, it was Bryan on the
phone and he wanted us to get together later on that day. It was Saturday
and I had nothing to do, except write a response paper for my Psychology
Class. While I'm at it, let me tell you a little about my career
move. Lately I've been so hectic in dealing with men, that I didn't have
the time in the story to tell you. In a nutshell, I'm a Finance Major at
Phis University and this is my third year. I don't know exactly what I want
to do yet, (somewhere along the lines of International Banking) and
hopefully later on down, I want to establish my own firm. Some classes I
don't think I need to take, but it's a requirement and that's my only
reason for taking them.

All morning Sam was on my mind. Suddenly I felt sadden, somehow I knew
why. It was because Sam was leaving me for a second time and the thought of
that happening overwhelmed me. How could I have been so wrong about us? As
I went to the bath to take a shower, I saw a piece of paper attached on the
door. I noticed it was Sam's handwriting and it read, "Taylor I'm truly
sorry for what happened between us last night, please we need to talk
before I leave tonight. Love you, Sam." I almost cried. Now I couldn't wait
to see him, I wanted to tell him how stupid and immature I'd acted. I
couldn't let him go back to Connecticut thinking I didn't love him and that
we weren't the best of friends.

I took a shower and got dress to meet up with Bryan at First Watch, a
restaurant that serves breakfast until 2:30Pm. As I rode in my SUV, I
wondered why I agreed to spend the day with Bryan. I had no intentions
beyond what I had already told him and still I felt another reason
compelling me. I shook the thought from my mind. I pulled up to First Watch
and met Bryan standing there with one foot up against the wall. My lustful
eyes began to examine what it saw. Bryan had a plan and it seemed to be
working. He wore tight jeans with a white-netted shirt, construction boots,
and sunglasses. The look fit him perfectly and I tried to hide my
impression as he greeted me.

"Glad you made it" He said, with a grin. "How are you?"

"I'm cool." I responded.

"Good. I'm happy that you agreed to have breakfast with me, and please
don't think that I have a hidden agenda." He said.

"I don't. I trust that you understand and that's good enough for me." I
said, as he motioned for me to follow him in the restaurant.

We sat, talk and ate. Surprisingly, Bryan was a good conversationalist; he
kept it going when I obviously had nothing to say. It was happening to me a
second time. I was being hypnotized by those beautiful lips as Bryan
spoke. They were red and voluptuous-looking. Somehow he knew I was a bit
taken by him and he played on that indirectly. I wondered if spending the
day with him, was the right thing to do. Sam had told me one time that I
had a tendency to think with my cock and I was beginning to believe
him. Why can't I just look at a handsome guy without thinking about
something sexual?

"Are you OK?" Bryan questioned.

"Oh, of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" I responded.

"You look like you're a million miles away." He said. "Are you having
second thoughts about spending the day with me?"

"Not at all. Come on now Bryan, I was the one who said we could hang out
and talk, right?"

"Right." He said, looking more relieved.

"Then don't worry about me bailing on you." I said.

Why did I say that? I don't want to send Bryan mixed signals and yet I was
doing exactly that. I wasn't ready to admit that he was a turn on and I
would have to see less of him. The man I wanted was Adam and I was getting
discourage about my chances with him. Sam is leaving me again and Eric
wants an answer from me. Why didn't I love Eric like the way he would want
me to? I found myself thinking so many things all at once.

Bryan and I went back to his place later that afternoon. He said he needed
to pick up something. I told him that I'll wait in my SUV, but he insists
that I come on in the inside. Quite a few students lived off campus in
their own apartments. Bryan was one of those and he lived alone. The
complex had all the amenities a student could ask for.  Three swimming
pools, a workout center, a computer study room, a tennis court and the
likes. The area, in which he lived, was quite opulent. Bryan took me for a
brief tour of his place and I was honestly impressed. We end up staying at
his place longer than we intended and somehow I knew Bryan wanted it this
way. We sat in his sofa and drank a few beers, and talked. The conversation
topic had changed to sex and I was getting really hard.

"So, Taylor, what do you like about fucking guys?" Bryan asked, obviously a
bit drunk.

"Man what kinda' question is that?" I responded, trying to stay as sober as
possible.

"It's just a question. I thought you'd be OK with it." He said

"And I am, but don't you think we should be careful what we say around each
other, especially in a such a vulnerable state?" I suggested.

"I guess you're right." He said. "But don't you like to be spontaneous
sometimes?"

"If you referring to you and me, I already told yo..."

With that, Bryan leaned over and kissed me so passionately, I almost didn't
breathe the whole time. My cock was incredibly harden and was leaking
pre-cum. My head was spinning at how fast things were happening. Bryan
began to unclothe his self and I followed. I wanted to stop but I couldn't,
I was drawn to those lips and they felt the same way they looked. I really
wasn't thinking about any consequences or what impact this afternoon will
have on my life. Bald naked, we lay atop each other, grinding. Bryan ran
his lips all over my nipples and I was a goner. We were breathing so fast
and so hard, as sweat poured down our faces.

"Do you want to fuck me?" Bryan whispered in my ears.

"Do you have a condom?" I said, matching his whisper.

He reached for his pants and grabbed his wallet, pulling out a condom.

"I'm always prepared." He said. "Don't finger fuck me, just push it in. I
want it rough."

I took the condom from Bryan and slid it on my stiff rod. Bryan cocked up
over the sofa and I positioned myself for entry. His manhole was already
moist from sweat, so I began to push my rod up his ass. I pushed as far as
the head and Bryan moaned. I wondered what type of animal he was, that
alone sent me over the edge. I pushed harder and deeper until I felt my
pubic hair touching his buttocks. I picked up momentum and began ramming my
cock up his ass. He let out animalistic groans one after the other and I
was moaning right alone with him. I felt his ass rings began to clench down
on my cock and I knew he was about to explode. I pulled out off him and
took the condom off. He turned around and I stood over him jacking
myself. We came all over the place, on his sofa, the floor and on our naked
bodies.

I didn't want to wait around after we fucked. I picked up my clothes, put
them on and was out the door in a flash. Bryan called after me, but I paid
him no attention. How did I let myself fall for Bryan's stupid plan? Now I
must admit that I'm a slut and needed some serious help. I jumped in my SUV
and raced down the highway in the heat of the day. My mind was bubbling
with regrets and shame. How can I face Sam tonight before he goes back home
to Connecticut? He will see right through me and notice something is up
with me. I'm not a pro when it comes to hiding my emotions.

When I arrive home, I quickly raced to the shower and cleaned myself
thoroughly.  The tears just flowed and my sniffing grew louder and
faster. I was such a horrible person when it came down to
self-control. When I was through showering, I lay in my bed crying and was
soon fast asleep.


To be continue...