Date: Wed, 28 Nov 2012 00:25:45 -0000
From: David Spowart <davidspowart3@hotmail.com>
Subject: I don't know who I am chapter 3

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"I don't know who I am"

Story by

David Spowart

Chapter 3

I sat in the back seat of the station wagon with Jamie and Marcus, nothing
really being said, Jamie keeping his hand on my arm for reassurance, "Ever
been to New-York Jack" Marcus asked, and I smiled "Just when I was born,
Mother" and I stopped as I knew that sentence would end in hurt for these
people. "Sorry" I added. And again my arm being squeezed by Jamie.

"Jack we are going to have to know what she was like eventually" Roy, my
dad responded. A short while later I responded. "Mum did not want to come
to New-York, she said this was where her husband and the person who I
thought was my dad, left her" I eventually replied.

"I think the police would be very interested in that man" Mary spat
out. "Why?" I asked, "He could have informed the authorities and we could
have gotten you back safe and sound" she added, "Look I am sorry" I got cut
off, "Jack you have nothing to be sorry for, you were an innocent in all
this" she interrupted.

"That's not what I was apologising for" I replied, being all
defensive. "Look Mum brought me up well, I have strong morals and values,
she put me through college supported me every step of the way, she cried in
my arms when I came out, she was strong, yeah I am aware she stole me, but
I for one cannot condemn her, I have no right, you all however do have that
right, but I won't hurt her memory" I said and silence once again hit the
car.

"Look I am sorry if you wanted me to hate her, but I cannot, she showed me
nothing but love" I added and once again the squeeze to my arm.

"Jack sweetheart, I know you have a history with her, but I was denied that
opportunity" Mary added, "Yeah I know, and yeah you were hurt, but if you
only knew the woman, you wouldn't believe her capable" I added. "But she
did" Roy added. And once again silence befell the car, it was not long
before we pulled into a lane and outside an amazing townhouse.

"Wow, this is beautiful" responded Jamie, trying to lighten the mood, and I
for once had to agree, it was very ornate and beautiful and I squeezed his
arm.

We entered the house via the front door and an elderly lady stood there
with a smile on her face, and then I was introduced. "Jack this is Margaret
O'Neil" she introduced, "Jack this is my mother, your grandmother" Mary
added, and I was stunned and shocked, yeah I wondered if any of my
grandparents were alive but seeing this little old lady, okay an
exaggeration she looked late fifties at worst.

"Oh wow, Blain,... oh sorry Jack,... it's very nice to eventually meet my
eldest grandchild" my Grandmother said, pulling me into a loving embrace,
she had never set eyes on me before but there was genuine feeling in that
hug.

I stood with tears falling from my face, just so much happening to me all
at once I was overwhelmed. "it's a genuine pleasure to meet
you...Grandmother" I nervously replied.

"Oh sweetheart if it is hard for you just call me Margaret" she responded,
"No Grandma, it is" I replied kissing her cheek. "Oh child, you make an old
girl blush" she replied.

"And this must be your young man" she added looking back at Jamie, and I
introduced him to her, she showed no signs of prejudice, I have encountered
much of that from her generation, different times, different times.

"It's nice to meet you Jimmy" she replied, "It's Jamie grandma" I
corrected, "Oh forgive an old girl a little error" she giggled out.

"Jack I will show you yours and Jamie's room, I am sure you must be tired
and want to freshen up" Mary said rescuing us form her mother.

"Thank you yes" I responded, and she took us up to the second floor and
opened a large bedroom, with a large double bed, so no questions there,
thank god, "The bathroom is through that door and clean towels are in that
cupboard" she said pointing to a large closet.

"I will see you in about an hour for some refreshments" she said before
turning to leave.

"Mary" I said and she turned, "I am sorry for what she did to you...us" I
said trying to satisfy her. "Jack I am just pleased you are safe and alive,
I never stopped hoping ...that someday you would find us" she said, and she
began to cry, I walked over and pulled her into an embrace, I was holding
my birth mother and I cannot explain but it felt like I was betraying my
mother's memory in doing so, I knew that emotion was wrong and I shoved it
away.

"Mary I am very glad to meet you... you all" I added, wiping the tear away
from her face and kissing her cheek, "Just give me a bit of time, I want to
get to know my family as well as you want to get to know me" I added again
kissing her cheek, not feeling as awkward as the first.

She smiled at that and repeated "Refreshments in an hour okay" she left the
room closing the door.

"Hey you okay" Jamie asked, "Just too much at once" I replied, "They seem
nice" he added, "I still cannot comprehend what my mother did" I sank to
the bed, and Jamie sat next to me. "Jack I cannot even begin to know what
is going through your head, but these are your family, okay yeah you don't
really know them...yet, but just give them a chance okay" he said kissing
my cheek.

I am going to the authorities sometime while I am here; I think Mary would
want me too, it's the least I can do, a DNA test would be needed to confirm
my identity, but the features of Marcus and Roy have told me all I need to
know, and Marcus's fashion sense runs deep, I have the photos to prove it.

"Want to grab a shower first" Jamie asked, "Share" I replied, "What really"
he added, giving me the you must be joking stare. "Just to get clean babe,
I am not always horned up" I responded, with a grin that said, or am I.

"yeah okay save the planet and all that shit" he added, grabbing me into a
kiss that always made me safe, a stupid word in the context of today but
nevertheless he did.

We didn't play in the shower, it just felt wrong somehow, we came out dried
each other off, dressed and went downstairs to again spend some time with
my family.

Jamie and I walked into the dining room and looked at the people sitting at
the dining table, nothing fancy just a standard dining table no food as of
yet, but the smell coming from the kitchen was welcoming.

"Something smells good" I said as I walked in. "Oh Jack welcome" my grandma
said standing to welcome me. "No Grandma please don't get up on our
account" I responded, but to late her arm was wrapped inside mine as she
lead me to the table.

"Jack I meant to ask you, any allergies I need to know about before I kill
you with dinner" Mary asked. "None that I am aware of I laughed.

She placed a platter of roast potatoes and pork chops and various veggies,
I was starved and didn't wait for an invite. "Healthy appetite anyway" Mary
replied.

"Jack sorry for asking when your mouth is full, but did you bring any
photos of you growing up" Roy asked, whilst himself devouring a pork
chop. I wiped my mouth and answered. "Yes I brought quite a few, and one
that will freak Marcus out somewhat" and he looked at me puzzled.

"Interesting" Roy replied.

We ate in relative silence and then went into the living area, I had left
the messenger bag containing all the photos on my Laptop, and fired it
up. And one by one the Images appeared and Mary had a tear in her eyes, the
years of development stolen from her. Somehow I would have to make it up to
her.

After about forty minutes the highschool photos appeared and the one with
my fashion sense that had somehow disappeared, what was I thinking back
then, I mean bright green trousers a red sweater and purple hair. "Geek"
Marcus yelled.

"Cannot argue Marcus, but look at that photo and look in the mirror before
name calling" I laughed out. Then the one of my graduation was hard for
Mary and also for Roy. She looked lost; she could only force a smile at
best. I mean I have absolutely no idea what she went through, and what she
is going through.

"Do you have one of her" Mary asked "Mum?" I asked and it hit me what I had
just said, I promised myself I would make it up to her and the first chance
I got I fucked it up. "Sorry, I mean yeah I do, sorry Mary" I said in a
sullen voice.

"Can we see it" she asked with emotion in her voice. "You sure?" I asked
not wanting to prolong her agony further. "Please" she replied. I flicked
through my files and brought one of Mum before she became ill.

"She looks pretty" Mary replied. "I don't recognise her" Answered Roy "What
do you mean?" I asked. "Never saw at the hospital, did you sweetheart?" he
asked Mary. She did not reply her eyes never left the screen. Looking at
the woman that denied her motherhood and my own heart sank.

"Thank you" she whispered out. She stood up and walked out of the room. "I
am a bit tired, I am going for a lay down" she said and closed the door. I
looked over at Roy. "Give her time, she has been through so much" he said
squeezing my shoulder.

"What games do you have" asked Marcus, I was lost at the day's events lost
in thought and didn't hear what he asked. "Jack?" he repeated.

"Sorry what?" I asked harsher than intended, I had not deliberately hurt my
birth mother but had done just that. "Sorry Marcus, what did you ask?"

"Games what games do you have on your laptop?" he repeated.  "Ohh a few,
here knock yourself out" I replied handing him my laptop.

"Thanks, I won't break it"

"You want to get some air" Jamie asked and I nodded, I told Roy, my dad
that I was taking a walk. We walked down the lane surrounded by trees some
obviously damaged by the recent storm, a couple being taken down by
workers, too damaged to be left, I saw a car almost flattened by one.

"I forgot about sandy hitting here, they got away with it by the looks of
things" I said walking down towards town. We spotted a couple of the shops
boarded up, the coffee shop looked unscathed and open for business.

We ordered our coffee and sat down.

"Jack you have to give her time, I mean she has just seen the photo of a
woman that stole her kid" said Jamie. "Don't you think I don't know that" I
again responded harsher than intended. "Sorry, I mean I keep hurting this
woman, I don't want to do that Jamie, but I do, me just being here is
killing her. I think we should just leave.

"Don't be an idiot, you leave that will kill her and I mean literally, you
need to do this babe, you have to get to be her son, she deserves that
much" he added, and I knew he was right. But I had just buried the person
who raised me as her son, how do I forget about that and become Blain
St-Patrick, I am lost to what to do.

"I need to speak to the police, the FBI I was kidnapped so the case is cold
but still on-going, I need to make her happy by making it official, my name
is going to be Blain but known by Jack" I said decision made. "The Park bit
can go, I never knew the man, and have no loyalty to it" I added.

"So you are doing what exactly" he asked me. "I have no official paperwork
from any town hall, I have school documentation that is all for my identity
and we know that is false" I added. "I will change my surname to that of my
parents, that's a good start, I don't have a second name so Blain it will
be, Blain Jack St-Patrick, but known as Jack, that should do shouldn't it?"
I asked

"I love it" Jamie replied.

"Okay lets head back, I need to speak to my Mother and Father" I said with
a smile. "I will call her Mary, for now hopefully at some point I will call
her just that...Mother" I said walking out of the coffee shop and heading
back to my parents' home.

We walked in and Mary was sitting with Roy at the table, looking at the
photos of me on the laptop. "Sorry Jack, Marcus left it on, and well we
just" I interrupted, "Look you don't need to apologise, feel free, look
there is something I need to tell you though" they sat up I had their
attention.

"We need to speak to the authorities, they need to know that I am here and
who I am" I started. "Look I have been brought up as Jack Parks, I have no
loyalty to that man's name, so if it is okay I would like to take your
name...St-Patrick" I added. "Jack that is your name, so no we don't have
any issue with you using it, in fact we would love you too" replied Roy.

"I like being called Jack, so I am not losing that but I have a compromise
if it is okay, my official name if okay with you Mary wold be Blain Jack
Martin St-Patrick, but known by Jack" I concluded and waited for a
response.

Mary stood up and walked towards me and pulled me into a hug. "Jack you can
call yourself what you want to, I have my baby back, my beautiful baby boy"
she cried into my shoulder, tears now filling the room even from Jamie, it
was very emotional.





To be continued...



Sorry for the Kleenex moments in this story but it has to be that way in
the beginning. Any comments please let me know what you think, and if you
are reading my stuff for the first time please check out my other Stories.
davidspowart3@hotmail.com

David Spowart