Date: Fri, 29 Apr 2005 20:07:04 +0200 (CEST)
From: Marcos Rojas <tulindobebito@yahoo.es>
Subject: I hate you so much that I love you 2

Here is part two of the story. No disclaimer since all of you should know
what you want or are allowed to read. Comments and suggestions (including
spelling and grammar) :-P are welcome. Thank YOU for the help in editing
this chapter. :-)

Marcos


I hate you so much that I love you 2

II.

Still not thinking clearly Chris kept his position, halfway on the desk. He
was in heaven; this was way too good to be true. His first kiss from a
man... The sound of steps brought him back to reality. Quickly gathering
his papers from the desk he left the room nodding to the group approaching
on the corridor.

It seemed like an eternity to get home. The movie kept on playing in his
head, on and on he was kissed by Daniel. The sensation of Daniel's lips
touching his was delicious. Entering his flat Chris closed the door and
leaned against it, looking through the big living room window at the
distant lights of the hill. He couldn't stop thinking of the kiss, and he
didn't even want to stop. The feeling he experienced that evening was too
powerful, his mind wasn't functioning. He wanted to hate Daniel, he needed
badly to hate him, and yes he was desperately looking for some reason. He
was way too scared from these new events, he needed a good backup. Once in
bed the radio was playing one of his favorite songs. It didn't take long
for Chris to drift away to dreamland.

The next day he woke up early. "God, I hate him! How could he kiss me! I
mean did I invite him to do that? Did I say: <Hello, step into my hell-life
and kiss me and mess everything up, make me more confused, a lot more than
I am now! Just take me, I'm an easy pray you know!> But the touch of his
lips was just perfect... So wet and so warm... Grrr!!! Wake up you idiot,
what are you doing! He wasn't allowed to kiss me! This is a clear case of
sexual harassment. I should sue him..." The phone began ringing. Probably
Mom Chris thought, she is the first to call me on my birthday.

"Christian Schwalm..." he said quite bored.

"Hello Christian." the voice said. "Now where do I know this voice from?"
Chris thought.

"It's me, ahm, Daniel..." said a very confused voice.

"Daniel... Hello, ahm, what can I do for you?" Chris said in a very
insecure tone. What was all this about?

"Well, I was wondering if you have checked your mailbox." a very shy Daniel
said.

"!?!" Huh? What? Excuse me... Why? I mean, I don't understand your
question!!!" Chris started raising his voice.

"Obviously not! Please go check your mailbox than, please. Bye!" Daniel
hung up quickly.

Chris stared at the receiver. He couldn't believe it. What kind of sick
game was this? How dared this man to intrude into his private life like
this? And first of all, how did he find out where he lived? He threw on
some clothes and went to the door. "And what if he wants to kill me? What
if he sent me a bomb? OK, now I'm being paranoid. Maybe I should change and
have some decent clothes on...Just in case, you never know... Grrr, now
this is going way too far!" Chris slammed the door and went to the
mailbox. It was a fresh morning, beautiful clear sky, all colors of the
autumn on the trees. There were no people on the street; no wonder, it was
Saturday morning. Still lost in his thoughts Chris opened the mailbox. "Is
this the day I meet you God or Devil???" said Chris while opening the
box. "Well, no explosion. So far so good." He thought. There were several
envelopes and the newspaper. He locked the box and turned around starting
to walk back to the building. No suspicious envelopes! "What the hell is
this freak trying to do to me??? OK this went too far! I can't believe it!"
he was showing human emotions again! He was really pissed off! He felt the
need to hit something, just like a little child. He looked around
frustrated and raised his hands to the sky not believing what was happening
to him.

"Are you looking for any special help from above?" a voice said right
behind him. Chris widened his eyes and turned with cosmic speed.

"You! How dare you! You are trying to make a fool out me!" he yelled
looking straight into Daniels dark eyes and pointing to him with the
package of letters.

"Hi yourself!" Daniel smiled and quickly tore the letters out of Chris'
hands. And started walking backwards still turned towards Chris.

"What are you doing? Hey, give me back my letters! Where are you going?"
Chris started following Daniel. By that time Daniel turned and started
running.

"Come and get them!" he laughed.

"I'm goanna kill you! Now, I'm goanna sue you and then let you get killed
by some perverted prisoner!" Chris yelled still not believing what was
happening.

Daniel just kept on laughing and running. He turned right and
disappeared. Reaching the corner Chris turned right and saw Daniels car
with the passenger door opened.

"Come and get your mail angry boy!" Daniel laughed and started the engine.

"I damn sure will!" said Chris and got into the car. In that second Daniel
suddenly drove off. The door closed and Daniel pushed the lock button.

"Help! Somebody help me! I mean stop the car!" Chris yelled
desperately. Looking scared at Daniel.

"Relax, nothing bad is going to happen to you!" Daniel said kind of relaxed
handing Chris his letters.

"Here, read these while I'm driving."

"Where are you taking me??? I want some answers! First you harass me and
now you kidnap me! What's next? A brutal rape and you kill me leaving me in
some deserted place so that the wild animals can eat me?" Chris said seeing
all these possible with his mental eyes...

"I said relax! Nothing bad is going to happen to you! Just trust me!"
Daniel said looking straight into Chris' eyes. Chris looked at him and
their eyes locked. The fear disappeared from Chris' green eyes. Daniels
deep brown eyes calmed him, he suddenly felt as safe as never before in his
life. It was Daniel who broke the eye-contact looking back to the
road. Chris looked at his letters and kept quite for the rest of the
journey. He wasn't thinking he just existed. All he knew was that he was
safe there with Daniel. Once again Daniel took control over him and he
couldn't protest. It wasn't meant to be, there were no reasons for
that. Daniel looked a couple of times at Chris, from the corner of his
eyes. He felt relieved. So far so good. His plan was working.

III.

The car stopped in front of a little restaurant. Chris knew the place; it
was in a village near the city, a small community. They had excellent
restaurants, and this specific one was his favorite. He was just wondering
how Daniel knew about the place. He couldn't have found out, there were no
sources he could have used.

"Well sir, ready for breakfast?" Daniel looked at him with a big
grin. Chris just nodded. Daniel opened the door and helped Chris out, who
still was in a weird state. Daniel guided him into the restaurant.

"Good morning gentlemen! Hello Chris!" the waitress said.

"Hi! Have you any idea what am I doing here today?" Chris said looking at
the girl. He knew her, being an old guest the whole personal knew him.

"We have a reservation for two." Daniel said quickly not allowing the girl
to answer.

"Name please?" she said turning to him.

"Rodriguez."

"Yes, follow me please." Chris just did what he was told.

"By the way, nice outfit!" the waitress said giving Chris a hug and left.

That specific remark brought Chris back to reality. Flash! In the same
moment the light of a camera brought him back to reality. Daniel just took
a picture and smiled at him. Chris felt really angry. He looked around. He
was sitting next to the window his usual place, his favorite one. This was
scary. How did Daniel know all this? He turned to the boy. His green eyes
were like a stormy sea.

"Happy birthday Christian!" Daniel said looking once again into the boy's
eyes. He gave Chris a sexy smile. Suddenly the anger disappeared.

"How did you know?" Chris said very quietly almost whispering.

"Let's say I have my sources. But that doesn't really matter. At least not
now! Let's enjoy our breakfast!"

The waitress just brought the meal. Chris was once again stunned, and
Daniel knew it was time for explanations.

"Now I would like to ask you not to freak out. For the last time
today. Just enjoy your meal and we'll talk later, OK?"

They ate quietly. All this was way too much for Chris. He couldn't believe
it.

Half an hour later they were leaving the restaurant. It was a quiet day
with not many people in the big park. It actually was a dendrological
garden in the yard of an old castle. It used to be the property of some
count. The castle wasn't too big, and it was in an advanced state of
destruction, the state owned it, and of course there was no money for these
purposes. Chris loved this place. The two young men walked in silence.

"I think I owe you some explanations. That of course if you are willing to
look at me and take your eyes off of your shoes. You have been looking at
them for quite some time..." Daniel said smiling. Chris blushed looking at
his old running trousers and his sneakers. It was the worse outfit...

"Please..." Daniel said putting his index on Chris' chin and slowly lifting
and turning his head. Touching Chris' skin made Daniel shiver, and Chris
seemed to be experiencing the same.

"I'm... ahm... am really sorry, was kind of lost in my thoughts..." Chris
explained.

"No apologies. I am sorry for kidnapping you like that and I thank you for
trusting me." Daniel said looking into Chris' eyes.

"Well it was a bit strange, but how did you know about all this? My
birthday, my favorite restaurant, my daily routine? You keep on surprising
me..."

"I know, I know it wasn't the best start and I have to apologize for that
too. I never meant to say those things to you on that first evening..."

"Oh yes you meant each and every word you said... And that's OK! I mean, I
don't think I could pay for the damages of your car, you were and are
right. It just hit me, but no big deal I'm a big boy." Chris said still
looking at Daniel.

"Are you really a big boy? Cause it didn't seem that way to me..."  Daniel
lifted his left eyebrow giving Chris a searching look. This caused Chris to
blush.

"Well, basically I am, but I have my moments, and unfortunately you have
caught only these kinds of moments..."

"Not exactly. Look at you; you are acting very grown-up now! Almost too
serious for my taste..." Daniel shortly looked at Chris and went on "But
you had seen my bad side too and I needed to get you on neutral territory
so that we can talk like normal people."

"OK, sounds fair to me, but we aren't going to say our apologies the whole
day, are we? Just tell me the reason you wanted to see me..." Chris was
risking way too much. Daniel looked away. Chris used the moment to check
the guy out. He couldn't believe it. He was actually checking Daniel out,
the guy who had insulted, harassed and kidnapped him and he couldn't help
it. The boy was just too sexy. The olive color of his skin was a total
turn-on for Chris. He loved Latin hunks, and this very specimen was THE
hottest. He was about 10 cms taller than him, just perfect, with a well
defined body. He wore a tight ocean blue shirt and black trousers, very
tight around his thighs and then widening towards his feet. Daniel was
still looking away and Chris admired his boyish face. It was just
perfect. The lips were just like he remembered from the night
before. Remembering the sensation of touching them just made hard. The wind
was playing with Daniel's black locks.  The Latin god seemed to take power
over him. Suddenly Daniel turned.

"This isn't going to be easy for me... And I hope you'll understand. It
takes a lot of courage to say it like this." Now Daniel was ready for the
worse. "Whatever your reaction will be, I accept it and probably deserve it
too..." He now looked into Chris' eyes.

"Christian, I..."

The sound of a cell phone stopped him. Chris quickly took his mobile out of
his pocket and looked at the screen.

"Sorry about this, will you excuse me?" he said quickly and answered. "Hi
Justine! Thank you baby, this is the best birthday gift I could get."

Daniel was shocked! He looked at a smiling Chris and he suddenly felt
stupid. Just one sentence from another person made Chris smile and he
hadn't manage to do that for how long? Almost 3 hours by now...

"Now don't torture me any longer baby! Did you get those rings? You didn't?
Don't tell me we have to go there once more, there are just way too many
things to do! But honey I thought that we cleared the problems with the
wedding rings once and for all!" Chris went on.

Daniel felt week. Chris was getting married. He never heard him call
someone baby or honey before. So this was the reason why he didn't react to
his kiss the night before. He just stood there and he made a fool out of
himself. This was just too much to take. He felt hurt and betrayed. He
looked again at Chris, who was happily talking to his lover and didn't even
notice he still was around. That hurt very much. He slowly got up, took out
his mobile phone and dialed a number. He hung up and Chris was still
talking. Daniel turned and started walking away. He felt a hand on his
shoulder. It was Chris giving him a questioning look and saying to the
girl:

"OK babe, gotta go, I need to take care of something. Call you tonight. Big
kiss for you." The sound of the kiss just echoed in Daniel's head. So he is
just "something" that needs to be taken care of... That is all he is to
Christian...

"So, you were saying..." Chris said turning his full attention towards
Daniel.

"Nothing important. Listen, I need to get back to the city... Sorry, but I
guess we must leave." Daniel said not being able to look into Chris' eyes.

"Oh, sorry Daniel, I didn't mean to... Oh, you don't have to drive me back
home..."

"That's OK. Come one."

The ride back seemed like an eternity. Daniel switched on the
radio. Mephisto's song played:

"I will never ever fall in love with somebody else's lover,

I forgot to look in your eyes and now I have to suffer..."

He looked over and saw Chris sitting there next to him, obviously feeling
uncomfortable enough. But he just couldn't help it, he was feeling to weak
to say something. He needed help desperately; he couldn't be polite enough
to help Chris out.

"Beautiful song." Chris broke the silence looking at Daniel.

"It is..." Daniel managed to say. Why was Chris doing this to him? This was
just too much for him to handle. His eyes got wet and he saw Chris'
reaction. The boy's face turned serious and he was looking straight at
Daniel.

"Daniel, is there something wrong?" he asked warmly. Daniel shivered
inside. He felt warmth in Chris' voice, a warmth that made him go crazy,
but a voice that never will mean those words the way he wished it would.

"It's just the air conditioning..." he lied quietly gathering his strength
not to cry.

They finally arrived at Chris' apartment. He stopped the car and kept on
looking straight ahead. Chris finally spoke:

"Well, Daniel thanks for this beautiful present! You made my birthday very
special!" Don't go there, Daniel thought, please don't! "And you're a nice
guy, and please forgive me for acting the way I did." Just go now, I can't
hold it back any longer... Please leave Daniel fought. "Uhm, maybe we can
get together some time, I'll invite you..." Yeah, some time, and get
together... Small talk... "OK, see you on Monday then. Have a pleasant
weekend Daniel!"

Daniel just nodded. Chris was very confused. He got out of the car and
looked back again at Daniel. His eyes were still searching for some
reaction. There was nothing. Daniel just kept on staring straight ahead. He
slowly shut the door and started walking towards the house. He didn't look
back, he was too confused. What happened to this guy? Suddenly he became so
serious and distant. What was wrong with him? Why did he take him out like
that just to leave him again like this. It was just like last night, he
played with him. "He is playing with me!" Chris suddenly realized. God,
this idea never occurred to him. Once again he was in his flat with his
back on the door, staring at the hill through the window. "It was just a
game for him... I am a game for him! How could he do this to me? Just as I
started liking him...No, I'm the one to blame! I should have taken all
precautions to avoid this!" Chris sat on the floor. He was devastated... At
least ten minutes must have passed since he was in his flat. The scenes of
the last 24 hours played in his head, fragments of the conversation,
Daniel's voice, the intense feeling of safety Daniel gave him just with his
look... "I need to move on! Just delete Daniel!" He stood and went to the
answering machine. He pushed the play button casually and set on the
couch. The message started:

There was background noise, and he could recognize his own voice. A cold
shiver went through his body. Then someone spoke: "Hi Christian, this is
Daniel. You are just talking yourself and I decided to tell you what I
started to say, because obviously the direct confrontation would have been
too uncomfortable for you." A very hurt Daniel continued: "As I said, this
isn't easy for me, but I need to tell you the truth. It's funny, a few
minutes ago I was quite excited knowing that I have at least a 50%
chance. Now I know this isn't real. Christian, the reason I wanted to talk
to you, the reason I took you out is to say, that... that... I'm madly in
love with you... That is why I kissed you...Today I was wondering if it was
shock that stopped you from kissing back... Now I know it's your
girlfriend. I have the evidence, you are talking to her now, and... Well,
that is all. Please forgive me for not having told you this personally, but
I feel to weak." The message ended. Chris stood in the same second. He got
the picture, everything fit perfectly into the picture. The way Daniel was
acting, the call, the song in the car and Daniel's tears. He ran trough the
door, down the stairs as fast as he could. He couldn't believe his
eyes. Daniel's car was still there, with the engine running. Chris reached
the car in a second and opened the passenger door. Daniel's head was on the
steering wheel, buried in his arms. Chris got into the car and closed the
door.  He turned the key and removed it. He was aching inside seeing Daniel
like that. He never imagined he could feel like that for someone, whom he
hated just a couple of hours ago. He gently touched Daniel's arm.

"Daniel, please look at me!" he said very softly.

The boy didn't move.

"Daniel, please..." No move. Tears were rolling down on Chris' cheeks. He
leaned over and gently hugged Daniel. This was too much for Daniel, his
body started shivering and obvious signs of his crying were visible. Chris
held him stronger.

"Shh, don't cry Daniel! Please Dani, don't cry... I love you so much..." he
couldn't believe what he was saying. At that moment there was no turning
back. But a turning back wasn't necessary at all. He just knew he loved the
crying beauty.

Daniel moved and Chris faced him.

"If you hate me now, go ahead, just tell me! I know the truth, and forgive
me for being such a coward. I hope you won't reject me totally and will be
able to look me into the eye." That was too much for Chris. He felt a
strange need to kiss the boy. Everything came so naturally, all his doubts
about recognizing the right time were now gone. He slowly moved towards
Daniel closing his eyes.

"Please don't!" Daniel turned away. That hit Chris, he opened his eyes and
looked at Daniel.

"What is it? What is wrong with you? Why don't you want me to kiss you?"
Chris asked with a hurt tone.

"Don't play with me Christian. I have strong feelings for you and you are
already taken, and we both know we are fighting on opposite fronts, so
there is no need to give me false hopes. I know, you mean well, but instead
of helping me you would hurt me more with a kiss, a kiss that would be the
last. Cause I'm never ever goanna have you..." Daniel said with a weak
voice. A quick smile appeared on Chris' lips. Daniel saw it and felt even
more hurt. He was just about to say something as Chris took his beautiful
face into his hands. The first reaction of Daniel was fear, he shook a bit
not knowing where this physical contact is heading to. Chris looked
straight into Daniels eyes.

"Enough of this. Come with me." And he turned.

"Where do you want me to go?"

"This time YOU are the one who should trust me. Let's play the game this
way now..." said Chris smiling at the confused Latin guy.

Daniel forced a weak smile and followed Chris. On the way to the flat Chris
kept staring at Daniel. He enjoyed the view. He just loved to see this
dream boy so confused. It didn't take a scientist to figure out that this
situation was pretty embarrassing for Daniel. Macho-like guys never lose
control. Well this time it was different. The self confident guy who
kidnapped Chris in the morning was now leaded into an insecure place by his
former "victim". Chris found himself enjoying this situation. They entered
the flat. Chris didn't get to the point, he was making some small talk.

"This is my home... Not too big but just enough for me. Make yourself
comfortable. Can I get you something?" said Chris checking on Daniel's
reactions from the corner of his eye. The boy was feeling obviously
uncomfortable.

"Nothing thank you. Nice flat you have... Ahm, would you, I mean could you,
ahm, tell me what this is about?" Daniel asked kind of insecure looking
straight at his shoes. He was very sure of what was going to be said.

"Maybe you should have something to drink... This will take a bit
longer..." A quiet sigh, this was just so well known for Daniel. He sat on
the couch looking through the big window. He was lost and felt like loosing
the most precious thing he ever had. It was too funny, he actually had
Chris for one kiss, but yet he was feeling like a part of Chris' life and
Chris seemed to be a living part of his own being. Lost in thoughts he
didn't realize the time pass. It must have been at least 10 minutes of
silent sitting on the couch. He suddenly realized his state and that Chris
wasn't there. He felt strange, that weird feeling of being watched. He
slowly turned around. The view was spectacular. Chris was leaning against
the door in a very sexy pose. With his hand crossed, wearing tight brown
jeans and a green shirt he was just perfect. His eyes glanced and the shirt
just matched his eyes. Although his muscles weren't as well defined as
Daniel's he still was a sexy view. He was spectacular and just
perfect. There was a mixture of self-confidence in his eyes.

"Wow! I mean, sorry, but you look so good." Daniel commented.

"I hope so! I need to look good now. Now let's talk." The cold shower for
Daniel. This guy just made him crazy. Why was he playing his little game?
Why did he reject him? And why all this now? Why this sexy look just to say
to him "Sorry, but I'm straight, and there is no room in my life for
you. But we still can be friends, if you want to..." The same old
story. Daniel remembered his one night stands, all of them ending with some
excuse. He was a boy-toy, a good fuck but nothing more. Nobody really liked
him or wanted him. He often thought about this fact. What has what rejected
all these guys? He had everything a guy needed and could possibly offer.

"Are you going to do something or are you going to stay there and stare?"
Chris stood right in front of him and was looking into Daniel's eyes.

"Sorry, I was lost in thoughts. I kind of know what is coming now, and I
was just..." Chris interrupted the guy:

"Oh really? What makes you think you can read my mind? What do I want to
tell you?" said Chris raising an eyebrow.

"Don't do this to me, please. You won, OK? The cards are in your hands now
and you can use this info the way you want to. I am gay and you can tell
the whole campus. And to tell you the truth I can understand it perfectly
if you are up to do that. I was a jerk and I deserve this..."

"And?" Chris said softly still with a raised eyebrow but with a sexy smile
on his lips...

"God, you really enjoy this! I don't think we can be friends, I can't come
over these feelings for you and each and every time I would have to accept
the fact that you belong to someone else. I'm afraid I'm not that good in
repressing my feelings and I might bring myself into some pretty
embarrassing situations because of this." He broke the eye contact. This
was just too much for him. He turned away trying to fight back his
tears. "So, I guess the best thing to do is to avoid every kind of
contact. It would be the wisest thing to do..."

"So... that kiss... and the kidnapping today... it was just a joke for
you..." Chris was now playing with fire, but it was just to tempting not to
do that. This was his only chance of finding out how deep the boy's
feelings were for him. And he was decided to find it out.

"How can you say that! Oh God, just let me leave! You are playing with me,
and you are playing a cruel game! Daniel wanted to leave but Chris cut his
way.

"Yes, I am playing a tough game! But there is a reason for that!"

"Oh really? What reason? A little gay experience before your wedding so
that you can check off this point on your <to be done before the wedding>
list? Guess what, I'm not up to such an experience. I'm not going to be
used anymore!"

"Which wedding?" Chris said sounding very indifferent.

"YOUR wedding with YOUR girlfriend, with your babe, honey or however you
call her! I'm not going to continue this conversation! Let me leave!!!"

"Oh no! You are so going to stay here! Because there is no wedding! And
there is no girlfriend! There is a good female friend, yes I call her babe
and honey but that's all. Maybe you should ask before becoming so radical
handsome boy!" Daniel lifted his head. He couldn't believe it! He was
looking at Chris. He was smiling at the shocked boy. He put his hand on his
hips.

"Well? Are you going to do something?" That was just too much. Daniel made
a firm step and took Chris in his arms holding him very close. Chris was
just beautiful. His sparkling eyes, the smell of his cologne and the warmth
of his body were too much for Daniel. He slowly put his lips on Chris'
never loosing eye contact with his love. Their lips met and Chris gave in
letting Daniel's tongue explore his mouth. In his inexperienced way he was
trying to do the same. This made Daniel giggle.

"What is so funny?" Chris asked seriously.

"The way you kiss... Tell me this is your first kiss!" Daniel searched his
love's eyes.

"Well, my first French kiss ever!"

"Oh God, you are just perfect!" with that Daniel kissed his love
passionately again. Both boys were in Heaven. For Chris this was the first
kiss. He felt himself special, and Daniel's arms were holding him so
close. This was what he has been longing for, for such a long time. For
Daniel it was the pure victory. "Thank you God! I guess we do have a secret
pact. I promise I won't let this chance go by..." the Latin boy
thought. They broke their kiss.

"I love you so much Christian! My little Chris... I finally can hold you!"

"I love you too! Don't ask me why and how, I just know that I love you very
much." They were still standing in the middle of the living room.

"There is something else I want to tell you." Daniel tried to speak.

"Shh, enough speaking for today. Just hold me, you don't need to tell me
anything." He took his love by his hand and led him to the couch. Daniel
laid on the couch pulling Chris with him. With his head on Daniel's chest
Chris felt once again very safe and loved. He was gently playing with his
love's fingers. It was the best feeling he ever could have experienced. It
didn't take too long for him to fall asleep. There was the time of eternity
to talk. He needed to feel his first lover, and words just couldn't replace
these feelings he was experiencing. Daniel just looked at his sleeping
beauty. He just couldn't believe it. The boy of his dreams was in his
arms. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. He never experienced something
similar. He just knew his time has come. He finally knew exactly what and
who he was and how he wanted to spend his life. All his answers were there,
lying on his body breathing calmly filling him with warmth and love.

To be continued


Is this way too wicked, slow, boring for you? Looking forward for your
comment: tulindobebito@yahoo.es