Date: Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:56:32 +0200
From: dino alpacino <dinoalpacino@gmail.com>
Subject: Fwd: In the still of the night: Chapter XII

A personal note from the author:

I saw it has already been more than a year, or almost two, since my last
post.

Consequently I have no clue if any of you have read the previous chapters,
and think this is way overdue. I know I do.

A short-lived relationship that was surprisingly inconsequential and a few
decisions that have kept me occupied later, here I am. I've taken my time
going through Dylan's journal, since it needed some streamlining. There are
quite some frayed edges in it starting 1937 and I took the liberty to work
out some of the storylines and characters that appear. Omitting them would
be a shame and leaving them as they are would give a very incoherent
result.

My grandmother, not having a clue what I've been doing with the journal,
urged me to start writing again about a moth ago. You see, these days I'm
keeping myself occupied with a more manual labour than I used to. It is
rewarding and creatively fulfilling but it leaves the other side of my
brain somewhat starved.

So, since I have no bf to pull me away from the rom-antics of an American
boy in the thirties and need an outlet for letters, here goes.





Chapter XII

The holidays at home were uneventful. My mother wanted to know all about my
studies. My father wanted to know if I'd changed my mind about a business
major or at least law school. When I assured him I hadn't the slightest
inclination to give up Literature and Art History he tactfully switched the
subject to Crew. I was grateful; it could have been an ugly Christmas. And
my brother, as was to be expected, wanted to know all about the girls. How
many were there? How was I doing with them? And so on... I have to admit I
enjoyed making up the circumstances of my conquests. Some were adapted from
real life, Thom that is. And some were bullshit. To see his face lighting
up, convinced his little brother was stud of the campus made it all
worthwhile. It may have been the cowards or even crowd pleasers way out,
but I was not about to tell my brother I had fallen in love with a guy. I
was glad to have seen my family but after a few days I became
restless. There were midterms waiting for me, and a different life. So I
announced my impending departure and braced for a wave of my mother's
discontent. She was quite sweet though and just seemed sad to see me go.

My break of routine was quickly fixed and after two days on campus I was
poised and ready. With a drive that was unusual, even for me, I trampled
through my books and stuffed my head with everything in them. I kept some
mean hours. Waking up at six I showered then had a quick run, breakfast and
was behind my desk at eight thirty. I would then study 'till twelve, do
some interval training, lunch, and then study until six. After six I went
for practice and then do dinner with Thom. We would then study some more
for as long as we could before jumping each other. After that the night
would unravel in a paradise of sexual bliss. But I forced myself out of bed
at six every morning. Usually I left my boyfriend clawing at the empty
space in his bed. Much to my own regret, but I was very determined to do
well on the exams.

One morning as I sprinted to the oak tree at Barstow Hall a familiar figure
stood in the distance. I squinted my eyes for better sight because of the
bright winter light. It was a big guy, he looked oddly out of place in the
way he walked around the grounds. Usually I took my slow run the other way
but out of curiosity I decided to head for the guy.

After only a few strides I recognised who it was. There, on totally
unfamiliar territory, was Charlie. His broad frame in a wool knit sweater
and one of those navy-blue fisherman's caps on his head he looked the
part. Like a castaway sailor in exotic lands he wandered around.

'Hey Charlie!' I called out and ran up to him. He turned and broke into a
big grin on seeing me.

'Hi, Dylan.' He said and pulled me in for a quick hug.

'What are you doing here?'

He smiled unsure and shrugged.

'You know Edward is in New York for the holidays, right?'

His face dropped and he made no attempt to hide his disappointment.

'Tell you what, I'll get changed and we'll go for lunch.'

'Is this Ed's bed?'

I turned around, tossing my t-shirt on my bed and saw Charlie sitting on
Edwards.

'Yeah.'

'Thought so, it smells like him.'

I smiled and stepped out of my sweat pants. Charlie took in the sights of
my naked body and I can't say I minded. My jockeys fell to the ground and I
turned to grab some fresh clothes out of the closet. I caught Charlie
rubbing his crotch in the mirror and chuckled.

'Enjoying the show?' I teased.

'Last time it was too dark to get a good look at you.' He offered.

'Yeah...' I trailed and a flash of our encounter came back. I shrugged it
off and put on my clothes; a bit slower than usual.

We settled for a simple lunch in one of the town diners. I did most of the
talking, as Charlie seemed pensive.

'Where is he staying?' he asked suddenly.

'With a friend.'

'What kind of friend?' Charlie made no effort to hide his jealousy.

'A guy from class I think. They were going to study together.'

'Why can't he study here?'

I leaned back in my chair and sighed.

'Listen Charlie, it's really not my place to find excuses or whatever.'

'So, he's seeing someone else?' he asked, a little too loud. No one seemed
to mind but I sensed this conversation shouldn't be held in public. I went
to the counter and paid, then motioned Charlie to follow me outside. 'Let's
go for a walk, Chuck.'

'I don't really know what the deal is with you guys. Edward doesn't talk
about those things much. And I can't tell you for sure he's not seeing
someone else.'

'So you think he is?'

'Charlie, you know how these things go. Or maybe you don't. On campus
there's a lot going on, but we have to be careful. So things aren't always
that clear. For instance, only a handful of people know about Thom and
I. Those that haven't figured it out by now, most likely never will. We all
move in the shadows Charlie.'

'But you live with him. You've got the eye, surely you must have some
idea.'

'Edward has a lot of friends on campus. And he doesn't always sleep in his
own bed. That's all I know.'

'He never tells you anything?'

'Never anything of importance.' We walked in silence for some minutes,
coming to the edge of town. I hoisted myself on the wall that fenced the
railroads and rolled a smoke.

Charlie sat next to me and lit a cigarette of his own.

'You know, I wish he didn't have to be so harsh.' He mumbled.

'He likes to seem very grown up and world wise.'

'Exactly. But why he has to push me away, I don't know.'

'Charlie, how successful do you think you would be together?'

'Very, or I wouldn't be standing here, now would I?'

'I guess not.'

'Why? Did you talk with Ed about this?' he asked sullenly.

I turned my head and studied his face in profile.  He had the strong
features I had grown up seeing all around me. A very Irish head. A very
handsome head.  He was the kind of man whose beauty would only become more
apparent as he aged. He reminded me of my uncle Callum when he was
younger. They both had the same sadness in their eyes.

'Edward is confused, that's all I know.'

A joyless laugh escaped his lips. 'Yeah, he is. Well, sorry for keeping
you. I better get going.'

'Charlie...'

'It's okay Dylan. I'll be fine.' He hopped off the wall and dug inside his
duffel coat. 'Give this to Ed if you will, okay?'

I took the little box and nodded.

'Take care Dylan.'

'You too.'

He walked away with hanging shoulders.

One week later exams started and Edward came back from New York.

At first I wasn't sure how to handle the situation so I kept my mouth
shut. But after two days of being locked up in the same room with Edward
and his fantastic stories from New York I had enough of it. I fished the
box Charlie gave me out of the desk drawer and put it on Edward's copy of
Witgenstein's Tractatus.

He stopped mid-sentence. 'He was here?' he asked with a small voice.

'Last week. He asked me to give you this.'

Edward thumbed the little box and I returned my eyes to my notes. I knew
better than to talk right now. Edward gave a little sigh and put the box
away. And that seemed to be the end of it.



"As the weather changed and the months passed our lives did not. I was
content and so was Thomas. On Edward's behalf I cannot speak. He seemed
complacent rather than content in his amorous routine. Of Charlie there was
never a word.  ...  When summer came closer the winds came from the sea
more often and I often imagined that with the salty smell so did return his
regret. But perhaps it was my looming melancholy that in retrospect clouds
my judgement."

Summer returned and my first year at Newbourn College was drawing to an
end.

The winds were changing but I was unaware. Or I didn't want to see it.

If I had been honest with myself I would've found out sooner. Thom's mood
had changed. His time was more spent on the rowing pond than in my
arms. His weekends took him back to Boston more often. And when he
returned, he did so with a very strange demeanour. I couldn't put my finger
on it, but it seemed as if he were sad. When we made love he had that same
air to him. But it was still passionate and I didn't dare ask what was
going on.

After our finals there was the last ball of the year. The entire campus
seemed to be intoxicated one way or another. The chaperones pretended not
to notice.

It was late at night when Thom and I were on our way to his room. Something
had been bothering him all night, in fact all week. But I hadn't
asked. Thoroughly inebriated as I was I decided to confront him.

'Thom, what's going on?'

'What do you mean?' It wasn't a question though. It sounded more like a
last feeble attempt at pretending everything was all right.

'Just tell me.'

He stopped and leaned into a wall.

'I'm going to Italy for the summer.'

'Oh.'

'A present from my parents.'

'Right. All by yourself?'

'Most of the time. But I'm staying at the Winterton's place in Tuscany in
between outings.

'Well, have fun.' I said and turned around. What should have been a brisk
stride was more of a drunken waddle, but the sentiment was the same. He
called after me but I didn't look back. For a moment I hoped he would
follow, but he didn't.

The next morning, or rather noon, I woke up with a terrible hangover. The
drink wasn't the only accomplice. I stared at the ceiling and listened to
the noises of my hall-mates moving out. Laughter and goodbyes filled the
air. I was not in the mood.

It took me two hours to get out of bed, showered and dressed. Edwards's
stuff was all gone and I felt betrayed by everyone close. I was going into
pity party full speed.

Most of my stuff was already stored in a school basement to be retrieved
after the summer. Only two suitcases waited at my door. On one of them was
a note.

" O'Keafe,

   I met your Golem in the hallway. Quaint fellow, he is. Just lumbering
around, he told me to give you a kiss. After one year he still doesn't
quite seem to get me.

I'm off to Shorebrook, we'll see how things play out.

Enjoy your summer and have a safe trip,

Yours truly,

Edward Buntings III."

There we were. Truly abandoned. With a sullen face I lifted the suitcases
and made my way across the grounds. Back home.