Date: Fri, 9 Oct 2009 05:32:57 -0400
From: Brandon J <branjenki@gmail.com>
Subject: Jace-Alexander Chapter Three

Last time...

My hand throbbed. I knew instantly that it had been a dream, but my chest
was still on the bed and my ass was still waving in the air, waiting to be
fucked. My dick was so hard it hurt. I didn't want to cum earlier today
while thinking about Christian, but I couldn't fight this. I stayed in that
position of vulnerability, still vividly able to imagine Christian
repeatedly slamming his dick into me. I started to stroke my dick, but I
didn't have to do much. I snaked my hand around and put two fingers to my
twitching hole and I began to shoot like I never have before. I couldn't
help but to cry out; my body was shaking and there was cum everywhere.
Turning over onto my back, my hand still wrapped around my dick, I stared
up at the ceiling and tried to catch my breath.

"Holy shit."

***************************************************************************

I checked my BlackBerry: 4:14 am. I jumped out of bed and went to the
mirror in my closet space. Clicking on the light, I looked back at my
reflection while I steadied my breath. I looked like I'd actually been
fucked; my face was flushed, my hair wild and crazy, and my dick still
semi-hard. And then there was all the cum and the huge hickey Christian
marked me with on the right side of my neck yesterday. I'm sure he'd have
that smug smirk on his face if he could see me now. Bastard.

I held onto those feelings of resentment. Now that I had admitted to myself
that I was attracted to Christian, the animosity I was feeling towards him
was the only thing keeping me a faithful boyfriend. I found that rather
pathetic. Watching some of my favorite teen soaps, I would always wonder
how in the world someone could cheat on someone for whom they cared. Now
that I had done it, and worse, had the audacity to want to do it again, I
didn't understand the concept any better. It really didn't make any sense.

Which is why I held onto that anger. Look at this hickey! Michael would
never brand me like this. Although, Michael and I have never attacked each
other the way Christian and I did... If he knew I was dreaming about him,
he'd have a damned field day! He's so infuriatingly cocky.  And yet, that
is one of the qualities about him that turns me on...  No, focus! Christian
is red velvet cake to a diabetic. He is an ass who does not deserve
you. Sure, sleeping with him may be enjoyable, but afterwards you'll just
be another conquest and you'll have destroyed your relationship with
Michael. Not to mention Victoria. Was I about to turn my life upside down
for some handsome jock with glittering green eyes, a smile that made my
knees jelly, pecs to bounce a quarter off of, abs on which one can do their
laundry, an ass firmer than a CEO's handshake, and a 9x6 inch dick? No, I
was not.

I resolved to keep myself busy. If I were busy then I wouldn't have time to
dream about Christian plowing me into la-la land. But, four hours and two
loads of laundry later, I was zipping up half the things I would be taking
home with me for break in my suitcase and sitting down on my freshly made
bed. I couldn't find anything else to do. I started to wish I wasn't done
with finals, but then I stopped and realized the sheer insanity behind that
meant that I was crazier than I was willing to accept.

Leaving my room and heading for the dining hall for breakfast, I started to
knock on V's door before I thought better of it. She wasn't finished with
finals yet, and as it was about 8:30am, she was either asleep or
working. So I made my way downstairs alone, trying to plan my day in my
head, and keeping an eye out for Christian. I didn't know if I wanted to
see him or not. God, I am such a hot mess.

Working my way around the huge kitchen made me feel like me again for the
first time since all this Christian drama began. I charmed my favorite
cooks and picked out all my comfort foods. Walking towards the back of the
hall and my house table with my toast, bacon, Lucky Charms, a glazed Krispy
Kreme, and some OJ, I smiled when I saw who was sitting at my usual table.

Kyle, his attention divided between his pancakes and laptop, didn't see me
coming. However, Kyle himself was difficult to miss, his vivid blue and
blonde hair cutely tousled on his head. When I finally made it to the
table, he noticed me, his chewing mouth curling up into a smile.

"Hey, Jace-Alex."

"Hey, Kyle. Still studying?" I asked, motioning towards his laptop as I
took a seat across from him.

"No, I'm all done. Checking for early grades. I just wanna know, ya know?"

"Ha, yeah. I kinda have other things going on though, so I'll just wait
`til next week."

"Ah, do you still have exams?"

"Um, no..." I answered, wondering if I should tell Kyle about my
predicament. "Just stuff..." I trailed off, nebulously.

Kyle was one of the better friends I had made here in Chicago. This is his
first year so we've only known each other for a couple months, but he was
always a blast to hang out with and we'd spent almost every weekend at some
frat party or event together and too many weeknights watching random stuff
on YouTube until the wee hours in the morning. Kyle was cute, thin yet
toned from his dedication to the track team, always dying his hair and
super gay. Like the kind of gay you read about. Kyle's awesome so it
doesn't really matter to me. But I've seen Kyle not so politely explain to
people that he didn't exist just to piss them off. I guess it must be
harder to walk around with your sexuality on your sleeve.

Telling him about the deal with Christian wasn't really just my decision,
though. It's his business I'm telling too, and though I trust Kyle, it just
wouldn't be right. Besides, telling someone would make all of this
real. And I was not ready for that.

"Ha, OK. Will you be done with this stuff in time to party tonight?" he
asked with that cocked eyebrow and glimmer in his eye that I had come to
identify as a forewarning for trouble. Although, trouble would get my mind
off a certain someone...

I smiled. "I'm in."

I ended up having breakfast and spending the next few hours goofing off
with Kyle. He turned out to be just the distraction I needed to get out of
my head. After a while, he suggested a run, and so around one o'clock, we
were off towards the lake, following one of his favorite routes. It was
cold as fuck at first, but once we got into a rhythm I couldn't really feel
it. I was in decent shape so I was able to keep up fairly well. We had
stopped off at Starbucks for chai and were headed back to the dorm when
Kyle abruptly snapped me back to the reality he had been unwittingly
helping me to escape.

"Look, there's Christian."

I nearly choked on my chai, but tried to play it off. "Where?"

"Across the street. I can spot that ass from anywhere."

Sure enough, there was Christian walking away from the dorm with a guy I
didn't recognize. With a twinge of guilt, I found his ass to be distinctive
as well. With another, I was more than a little curious as to who he was
with.

"Did you let him get into your pants yet?" Kyle asked with a sly smile on
his face, his eyes still trained on Christian's backside.

This time, I did choke. My coughing fit snapped Kyle out of his reverie,
and he began to pat me on the back.

"Haha, very funny," I finally got out. "You know I have a boyfriend."

"Well, lucky you, Jace-Alex. Some of us aren't so lucky to have a sex god
trailing after them like a lost puppy AND a hot piece waiting back home,"
he teased, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Christian doesn't trail behind me; he's too busy getting laid," I said
with a chuckle.

"OK, OK, maybe `trailing' is too strong a word. The boy does get his
share. But, it's so obvious he wants some of the Phoenix," he laughed. I
laughed back, wishing I could see the humor.

Kyle went straight for the dining hall once we made it back while I passed
and went upstairs for a shower. Dressed in comfy sweatpants and a fitted
tank, I found myself knocking on V's door. I had started feeling guilty
about Michael again while taking my shower and I'm always drawn to V when
something is on my mind. This would just be a something we wouldn't be
discussing.

"Hey, boo. You done?" I asked, while stifling a yawn and making my way
towards her bed.

"I just finished my paper due tomorrow. But, the one that's due on
Sunday...will probably be done on Sunday."

"Bah, that sucks."

"Yeah, but it'll be fine. I need a break now anyway. Movie?"

I nodded through a second yawn; apparently, I was tired.

"Ha, will you even make it 15 minutes?"

"Just get the book," I replied, flicking my tongue at her.

`The book' was our movie collection. V, Michael and I combined our
libraries when we were 15, as we rarely watched movies without each
other. When V and I moved to Chicago, we took most of the collection with
us and somehow I don't think Michael was sad to see most of it go.

"So, what are you in the mood for? Disney, horror..." she asked as she
flipped through the heavy album.

"Here: The Little Mermaid or Cruel Intentions. You pick." Sure, I may not
be as "gay" as Kyle was on the outside, but my awesome queerness was just
beneath the surface.

"Psh, Cruel Intentions, duh. Ariel may be the best Disney princess, but who
can resist Ryan Phillippe's sexy ass?" she declared, fishing the DVD out of
the plastic case.

I laughed to myself, feeling I knew V too well. I wanted to watch Cruel
Intentions, too; I was looking forward to ogling an ass without the guilty
feelings.

As it happens, I did end up curling up and falling asleep, taking V with
me. But, not before we freeze --framed and enjoyed Ryan's tight cheeks in
all their glory. We woke up a little after seven, and hauled ass to the
dining hall to catch dinner before it ended; I just barely secured my bacon
cheeseburger and Apple Jacks. Headed towards our table in the back, I was
pleased to see blue and blonde locks waiting for us. But, a glimpse out the
window made me miss a step. Christian was leaving the dorm again with the
same mystery guy from before. From this angle, I was afforded a better view
of Christian's unknown companion; he was on the taller side with blonde
hair protruding from his winter hat and fashionable glasses over his
eyes. I couldn't get much of a feel for his body as he was bundled up
against the cold, but he seemed fit. What was clear, however, was their
level of comfort with one another. They were both smiling, walking quite
close together with what's-his-face's arm over Christian's shoulders. Well,
I thought to myself, if there was one thing I could count on it would be
Christian's ability to move on quickly. I only permitted myself to admit
that I was jealous because it meant that I had made the right decision
earlier in resolving to stay away from him. Dick.

Kyle, V, and I spent most of dinner laughing with some of our other dorm
mates, the majority of us enjoying being done with classes for the next
month. Kyle gave us more details about this party he wanted to go to over
dessert. V decided to skip out and work on her paper, but I told Kyle that
I was still up for it.

A few hours later, we were at the frat house, already liquored up from our
little pregaming mini party back at the dorm and laughing at nothing in
particular. I'd finally found relief from all that nagging guilt and all
thoughts of Michael and Christian were off my mind. I felt like I could
finally let my guard down. And after my second, red plastic cup of "jungle
juice," that's exactly what I did. Kyle and I spent most of the time on the
dance floor, moving to the rhythm with a group of friends. I was definitely
past tipsy and the showboat in me was rearing its head. If there's one
thing I know how to do drunk or sober, it's ride a beat, and the way I was
moving had random girls and even a few guys copping a feel in the dark. I
welcomed the attention but stuck close to Kyle to prevent myself from
getting into too much trouble. That is, until Kyle, his lithe body pressed
against mine and swaying his hips in time with my own, told me he was
looking to get into some trouble himself with one of the frat boys he'd
been playing "eye tag" with since we'd arrived. I attempted to nonchalantly
look in the corner Kyle jerked his head towards, but I'm sure it was
painfully obvious that I was checking the guy out. Kyle's resulting giggle
told me I was right. My eyes widened in surprise when Kyle then kissed me
on the lips and said he was going for it. We'd never kissed before and I
don't think either of us was attracted to the other in that way. I guess it
was just a drunken love tap? Whatever it was, combined with the thought of
what Kyle was about to do with that beefy frat brother, I was starting to
feel sexy.

"Good luck," I recovered quickly enough, giving Kyle a pat on his ass and
sending him on his way.

Watching Kyle slither over to that guy and put the moves on him made me
feel a little jealous. I had never looked forward to sex in that way. I
mean, I'd lost my virginity when I was 16 with Michael and I've had it
fairly regularly since then, with the exception of the time I spent here in
Chicago. I guess I just never felt excited about sex. Ah, that makes sex
with Michael sound terrible. It isn't; it's wonderful. But it is just so
not the basis of our relationship.

Kyle snuck off at some point in the night with that brother and I'd struck
up a conversation with some third years I'd met on my third trip to the
jungle juice. Looking around, I noticed the party winding down. The dance
room started to empty out and you could see more cups on the floor than
people. Pulling out my phone and seeing that it was two am, I figured that
this was as good as it was going to get for a campus party on a Thursday. I
started to call Kyle but thought better of it; I didn't want to be that
guy. All cockblockers are going to hell. I bade goodbye to the new people
I'd met and started the short walk back to the dorm by myself, almost
relishing the cold after being surrounded by people.

At least I knew I was a happy drunk. After feeling guilty, confused, and
miserable for the last day and a half, I felt incredibly light on my way
back to the tower. I even had the gratuitous smile plastered on my face to
prove it. I did feel tired, though, and planned to grab some water and hit
the sack. Getting off the elevator, I peeked into the lounge and I was
surprised to see it dark and apparently empty. I remembered that "quiet
hours" were technically still in effect, as there was still a day left in
finals week. I shrugged and headed for my room, swaying lightly and
giggling quietly to myself.

Hitting the light in my room, I was appreciative of the cleaning I had done
earlier in the day. Nothing like coming home tired to a freshly made bed. I
stripped down to my tank and CK briefs, grabbed my toothbrush, and headed
for the bathroom. Back in my room with clean teeth, I sighed drunkenly. As
soon as I found my Nalgene and got some water, I could curl up with my
pillow...

Where is it? Oh yeah, I left it in my bag. Where's my bag?? Think, think,
think.

I realized I'd left my bag in the lounge when I was hanging out with Kyle
earlier today. Mentally kicking myself, I ventured out into the hall again
in my underwear to retrieve my bag. Opening the door to the lounge, I
decided it looked rather spooky in the dark. I was so used to it being
bright and loud and full of people. My bag was on the upper level near the
couches and television. Climbing up the stairs, I decided the lounge
smelled rather spooky in the dark as well. Or, just plain bad.

"Ugh," I said to myself. It smelled as if someone had blown
chunks. Absently wondering whether it was because they drank too much or
because of the pressure from exams, I made out the outline of my bag by the
couch in the dark. Walking past the first couch, I started to bend down to
pick it up...  "Uh, I wouldn't..." I heard suddenly from behind me. I
nearly jumped out of my skin. I spun around and made out Christian's form
in the dark, lying on the couch I'd walked past with a blanket and pillow.

"Fuck! You fucking scared me half to death, asshole!" I hissed.

It was dark, but Christian's frown was distinct. As were his abs; Christian
wasn't wearing a shirt. Damn him.

"Sorry, Jap. I just wanted to warn you before you picked up a bag covered
in vomit."

"Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me." I recoiled from the bag, angry
about its condition and annoyed at Christian's deliberate attempt to tick
me off. "What are you doing out here anyway?" I spat.

"Oh, now you give a shit where I am? I thought you just wanted me to stay
away from you," he shot back. My eyes narrowed and I was about to tell him
no, I didn't really give a shit when he continued. "I got sexiled. My
roommate's hooking up, so I'm stuck with the couch."

"Aw, what's the matter? The blonde you were pushing up on earlier didn't
want to put out for Christian Matthews?" I asked teasingly. "At least he
has better sense than me." I didn't know what possessed me to say that. I
mentally kicked myself again for letting him know that I saw him earlier
and cared about whom he was with.

Clearly, I had hit a nerve because Christian's frown became more pronounced
and he snapped up off the couch. "You know what? Fuck you, Jace. I'm sorry
about yesterday, but I'm not going to put up with your bullshit. And the
only blonde I was with today was Nick Matthews, my brother, who I'm sure
would let me crash on his couch except it's three in the morning and I'm
not enough of a dick to wake him," he fumed.

Oh. His brother. Wasn't expecting that one. But, wait a second, where does
he get off calling me an asshole?!

"No, I think you are enough of a dick to wake him up. All you care about is
yourself, right? You're so full of it, you're not sorry about anything."

"No," he said, his anger ebbing and his frown returning. He looked down at
the carpet. "I am sorry. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you the way I
did. It was...wrong. It was shitty of me."

The look on his face hit me in the gut like a freight train. Now, this I
really didn't expect. He had taken advantage of me? How could he possibly
think that? I'd been feeling guilty since yesterday for a reason: I had let
it become painfully obvious for that brief moment how badly I wanted
him. Now I felt even worse that I'd learned that Christian felt like he
forced something on me.

"It's just...I wanted you to want me. I tried to seduce you because that's
the only way I know how to get people to notice me. All I have to offer is
a charming smile and a six-pack. I didn't know what else to do to get your
attention. But, I had to try. When you're not calling me an asshole," he
said, looking at me sternly again, "you're amazing, Jace. But, I realize
now how shitty it was to force myself on you. And I... I understand why you
don't want to be friends anymore," he finished, sitting back against the
arm of the couch and looking down at the carpet again.

My buzz was officially gone. I was floored. I felt like such a dick for
making so many assumptions about Christian and thinking about me without
sparing a moment to think about how he felt. Thinking about the way I
treated him, I felt I deserved the vomit on my leather bag. And, I knew
then that I couldn't fight the way I felt anymore. He didn't deserve it.

I walked over to Christian, standing in front of him. I waited for him to
look at me, so taken aback by his lack of confidence. He looked genuinely
torn up. He finally turned his head towards me and I leaned forward and
wrapped my arms around his shoulders, hugging him close to me. After a
moment, his arms encircled me, and we held each other for what seemed like
a long time, but was probably only a minute or so. I pulled back and looked
into his green eyes. Leaning forward again, I pressed my lips to his,
kissing him gently, but plainly sending the message that I wanted
this. Breaking the kiss, Christian leaned back, the beginnings of his
characteristic smirk coming into view.

"So, does this mean you want to be friends again?"

I smiled back at him. Reaching behind him, I grabbed his blanket and put it
over his head. Then, I took his pillow under my arm and his hand in mine.
"Come on."

I couldn't leave him on a lumpy couch in a room that smelled like vomit. I
couldn't leave him at all. I wanted him next to me. I led him back to my
room, holding his hand the entire way. All thoughts of my Nalgene were gone
as I got into bed and beckoned him to join me. As soon as I was horizontal,
I was reminded of how much I had to drink earlier in the night. I kissed
Christian, and he kissed me back, pulling my body closer to his. I laid my
head on his meaty chest, my arm over his hard stomach, and my leg between
his. I drifted off to sleep shortly after with Christian's arm wrapped
around me, thinking that this felt so right. Tomorrow would be hard, but
this is worth it.


To be continued...

************************************************************************

Ah, I'm so sorry I made you wait so long for a chapter with no sex, haha. I
literally had to rewrite this chapter twice because my computer is mutinous
and treacherous and is out to get me. Hopefully the next chapter will be
out in a shorter amount of time... provided you want the next chapter,
haha. What do you guys think? Jace-Alex is finally being honest with
himself about his feelings but how is he going to reconcile them with the
rest of his life? I'd love to hear your opinion.

Brandon -- branjenki@gmail.com

P.S. Thanks again to all the guys who've mailed me about the story so far;
reading your messages gave me the strength to rewrite chapter three the
third time when I was ready to chuck my PC out the window. Hugs =]