Date: Thu, 19 Sep 2013 16:01:57 -0700
From: Alan A. <eastcoastasulax@gmail.com>
Subject: Jake Grimke: The College Years Chapter 1

NOTE:  This is the fictional story of Jake Grimke's senior year at the
University of Virginia where he is a standout D1 lacrosse player.  It
contains genuine and fabricated representations of his life on the
Charlottesville campus and interactions with some of his old high school
friends, new ones from UVa and his Maryland parents.  All of the characters
in this story are fictional and resemblance to any one person whether dead
or alive is purely coincidental.  If you liked this installment, please
send some feed back; I got a rough idea where this is headed but I am
always open to some suggestions.


"I wouldn't go up there if I were you Jake," Erik Priest half suggested and
half warned.


Jake Grimke had just let himself in through back door of the Phi Gamma
Delta fraternity house near the campus of the Johns Hopkins University in
Baltimore early on a Saturday morning, hoping to catch his boyfriend Jose
Valdez and maybe have a quick romp between the sheets before Jose and his
fraternity left en-masse for Homewood Field to attend the Blue Jays'
football opening home game.  Jake knew Erik was in Jose's FIJI pledge class
while he was finishing his senior year at Severn and was friendly with him
on his visits to the frat.  "Hi Erik," Jake replied in a hushed voice,
knowing other members of the fraternity were still asleep after the party
the night before, "why shouldn't I go up there?"


Before Erik could reply a small yet athletic blond male student emerged
down the steps from the second floor, followed by the darker and hairier
legs that Jake instantly knew.  As the two came down the steps, he
recognized the second figure as Jose, his palms facing forward and gently
spanking the khaki-colored cargo shorts covering the ass of the blond male,
not unlike he would have done to Jake during one of his own FIJI house
sleepovers before slipping out to the local coffee shop for a cup.  Jake
and Jose had been an item almost since Jake came out to the world during
his senior year at Severn High School.


There had never been a word spoken about what each would physically do
apart while Jose pursued his architecture studies at Hopkins and Jake
pursued his new major of mass digital media communications and played
lacrosse at Jefferson's idyllic campus in Charlottesville.  Of course,
there were daily telephone conversations, emails, suggestive texts and even
some  lurid FaceTime activities on their Apple products when they were
apart but the big "what if" talk had never happened.


`Go have fun,' was often the next to last sentence Jose would utter before
they parted and said, `I love you Jake!' and now it began to click in
Jake's head what perhaps Jose was trying to tell him.  And Jake would
parrot back, `you too Jose, have fun' followed by `I love you Jose!'


Erik bailed from the frat house lobby and headed for the kitchen for
something to eat while Jose escorted the tanned blond crew-cut preppy male
to the front door.  Watching from a secluded position in the doorway to the
chapter room, Jake clearly saw Jose lean in and kiss the boy good bye
before skulking back inside wearing his flip flops, black Nike shorts and
purple FIJI shirt.  When he caught Jake out of the corner of his eye as he
was about to head back upstairs; Jose froze, his usual beaming smile now
flat-lined and his eyes registering the surprise his brain was now
processing.


"I guess you saw that," was all Jose could muster.


Jake stood there, in well-worn jeans, Nikes and UVa Lacrosse long sleeve
tee shirt as his blood began to boil.  His palms sweated and he could feel
a tear welling up in his eye, "is that what `go have fun' really means
Jose?"


Jose swallowed hard, "yeah, I guess so."


"Fine, go have fun, have lots of fun Jose, just have it without me," Jake
said with great firmness before turning and busting through the swinging
door into the big kitchen where Erik was drinking coffee as he strode
towards the back door and the red Saab.


"Jake...Jake...JAKE," Jose pleaded loudly as he tried to catch the lacrosse
player as he followed him out of the frat house's kitchen, "Jake, please
listen to me."


Jake stomped on the clutch with his left foot and stabbed the brake with
his right as his right hand yanked up on the hand brake before killing the
engine, "What?"


"It's not what you think," Jose started.


"Well, what am I supposed to think," Jake replied, his eyes burning into
Jose's.


"We just hooked up, a little beer at last night's party and, well, you
know," Jose tried to rationalize with Jake.


"No, I don't know," Jake said resolutely, "I've been to dozens of parties
and never forgot my responsibility to you and to us.  I could have had any
piece of ass I wanted down there but promised myself to you and only you,
for us, for our future."


"I know Jake, I really really know that and I believe you," Jose, "I just
don't have the resolve you do."


"I need to think about this Jose, I really need to re-think this," Jake
said, "how many other parties have there been that ended like this?"


"A few, okay?  He's not the only one," Jose began his confession.


"Am I at risk?" Jake begged to know.


Jose shook his head no, "I take precautions, I can be honest about that."


"Finally a ray of sunlight in this mess," Jake said, staring ahead,
reaching for his Oakleys.


"Come to the game with us Jake, I'll get you a ticket; I just want to be
with you," Jose pleaded, "I miss you, I really miss you, Jake-O."


"I'm sorry Jose, I'm just wrecked right now, I think I need some time away,"

Jake said, his hand turning the key again as his foot stepped on the clutch
again.


"Jake, please, stop, reconsider, don't go away mad," Jose pleaded more.


Jake released the hand brake, "I need to clear my head."


"I love you Jake," Jose said, leaning in far enough to kiss Jake on the
head since top was down on the convertible.


"Love you too," Jake uttered, more out of habit than as an indicator that
all was not lost as he found first gear and left Phi Gamma Delta heading
for Annapolis.


Jake took one last look in the rearview mirror at the saddest face he had
ever seen Jose make.  At the next traffic light he picked up his iPhone and
thumbed through his contacts until he found Harmes, Evan and pressed call,
placing the phone on speaker.


"Hey wingman, how are you," Jake asked, trying to sound chipper.


"Fine, trying to get my whites squared away for the game," replied
Midshipman Evan Harmes, "you still coming?"


"Yes, probably gonna be a little earlier than I planned, is that okay?"
Jake asked his one-time Severn High lacrosse team mate.


"Just means I won't be able to yell at Plebes as much this morning," Evan
replied, "I'm sure they will be grateful; meet me in the lot next to the
visitor center."


"Okay, leaving Hopkins now, give me about 30 minutes," Jake said.


"Cool, see you soon wingman, always and forever," Harmes.


Hearing "always and forever" made Jake smile as his insides roiled over
what he had just experienced.  It was like a lifeline had been thrown to
him, one that he could count on to sustain him.  It was the lifeline he
needed right now as he worked through the gear box, down Interstate 97
towards Annapolis that was already begin to burgeon with traffic for Navy's
first home football game of the season.  Jake wheeled into the parking lot
after clearing the security gate and waited for Evan.


As he stood outside his car waiting for Evan, Jake called his mother, Emma
Grimke to remind her he would be home for dinner.  "No Mom...just me...Jose
can't make it...something at FIJI he has to attend....alright....I
know...see you soon...I know....I love you too...I will."


"Is that Emma saying hello to me too?" Evan asked, walking up carrying a
white plastic bag, "can you lock this in the trunk please"


"Oh yeah," Jake beamed, gently hugging Evan so as not to mess up his dress
whites before he unlocked the trunk.


Jake put the bag in the Saab's trunk before they found a Starbucks just
inside Annapolis proper not far from the Academy's Gate 1 and sat
themselves down after each getting very simple cups of black coffee.


"What's up, wingman?" Evan demanded to know, sensing that Jake was out of
sorts.


"I'm not hiding it well am I?" Jake replied.


"You never could," Evan reminded him, "what gives, I figured you would have
your happy face screwed on after your planned surprise morning quickie with
Jose."


"Yeah well, I was the one who got surprised," Jake started recounting the
tale as Evan's jaw dropped.


"I got to FIJI just in time to see him showing out the dude he hooked up
with the night before," Jake continued on, "then he saw me."


"Oh my God! What the fuck bro; I thought he was true-blue," Evan exclaimed
in a whispered shout, trying not broadcast it beyond their table.


"Yeah, I think he was trying to send signals that I didn't want to read,"
Jake said, recalling how many times he heard `just go have fun."


"So, what's next; what are you going to do?" Evan pressed.


"Not sure," Jake pondered, "I don't need my senior year at UVa fucked, I
got to have focus, I'm going to be co-captain on the lacrosse team this
year and I still have almost as much school work as last year."


"My two cents J-man," Evan said, hauling out his old term of endearment for
Jake, "re-think any decision you are about to make;  Annie; Mom would
always say `if it's only going to make you feel good for five minutes, it
probably isn't worth doing.'"


Jake nodded as he listened to his wingman as Evan began to continue,
"you're strong, resolute and compassionate Jake, I've seen you forgive
before.  Don't dig your heels in yet; you guys have been together almost as
long as Jackie and I and it hasn't been easy for us with the distance and
the work load either."


"How is Jackie?" Jake asked, eager to change the subject.


"I'll tell you if you promise to be reasonable," Evan demanded.


"I promise not to do anything stupid; I still love him," Jake said with a
nod and his confident smile, "you are always going to be my wingman."


Evan reached across the table with both hands and clasped Jake's left hand
and wrist as Jake sipped his coffee; "Jackie's fine; getting very excited
about our wedding.  We decided it will be in the chapel here rather than
St. Mike's after Commissioning week. I, actually Jackie and I want you to
be best man.  She's already been emailing your mom for music suggestions."


Jake clasped back with a big smile, "I promised her a long time ago I would
do that for you two."


"I'm close to a lot of guys here but you are my brother from another
mother," Evan reminded, "wouldn't be right for you not to be standing up
there with me."


"I'm honored Ev, proud of you, proud of our friendship," Jake said, almost
forgetting why he was in A-town an hour early.


"Listen Jake, I know how you get when you take a hard hit; I want you to
chill out and walk this off, really work all the angles before you decide
anything.   Don't check him back, he's probably hurt too.   It's not just
your life anymore, it's Jose's too," was Evan's final plea, "I got a few
minutes before I got to form up for the march over.  Here's your ticket,
meet Annie in the parking lot at St. Paul's and you can tailgate with her
and the Hanfords in Lot 1 before the game."


"Thanks for being the voice of reason," Jake said as they tossed their cups
into the trash; Jake batting at Evan's shot in midair and making it miss,
just like they were still in the cafeteria at Severn; "I know have to think
this through all the way like you said."


"I know you will bro, I know you will," Evan said as they arrived back at
the Saab, "pop the trunk Jake."


Jake unlocked the trunk and Evan pulled out the bag he deposited earlier,
yanking out an official Navy Lacrosse warm-up jacket, the lacrosse team
logo on the left chest, the right chest with a big 18 and HARMES
embroidered under it. "Here J-man, can't have you going in dressed like
some Wahoo hoodlum at a Navy game," Evan said sharing last year's warm up
jacket with his wing man.


"18, Morehouse would have liked that, you kept your promise to him," Jake
said somberly.


"I know bro," Evan began his good bye, "Jake, as long as I have known you,
things have always worked out for Jake Grimke, they always do, this won't
be any different. Now get out of here, I got to go form-up with the
brigade."


There was a quick hug after Jake zipped up the jacket over his UVa lacrosse
tee before he slipped into the driver's seat of his car; "I'll call you
later, let you know how things turn out."


"You better, GO NAVY!" Evan shouted as he walked back towards Bancroft Hall.


"GO NAVY!" Jake replied, quietly adding, "miss you bro."


Jake found his way to St. Paul's, just off Rowe Boulevard near the entrance
to Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium and found Evan's mom and together
they walked the short distance to Lot 1 where all the tailgate activity was
taking place.


"Great to see you Annie," Jake asked her, remembering how much she disliked
being called Mrs. Harmes; "how are you doing?"


"I'm just fine," she replied, holding on to Jake like he was her own son,
"how are you; how's Jose?"


Before breaking the embrace, Jake steeled himself, "I'm pretty good, it was
great to see Evan now that there are less restrictions on him since he is
finally a `firstie'.  Jose is doing fine, just busy, busy at FIJI with all
that frat stuff.  You must be getting excited with the wedding in the
future?"


"I am, Emma offered to pick out some music for their ceremony but says the
organist at the Chapel will have to play, she wants to be in the
congregation for a change," Annie stated.


"That's my mom," Jake said as they found Janet and Fred Hanford's tailgate
spot.


"Jake, did you meet Captain Hanford and his wife; Janet, from St. Michael's
before you left for UVa?" Emma asked, "their son Riley is now a youngster,
following in his dad's footsteps."


"Captain Hanford, nice to meet you sir " Jake said firmly with an equally
firm handshake.


"Likewise Jake, how are things at UVa?" Captain Hanford asked.


"Busy, busy," Jake replied, "playing D1 lacrosse is almost a full-time job
there between strength training, team meetings, academic coaching sessions
and the practices.  Sometimes they even throw in an actual game!"


"That's good to hear Jake," Janet Hanford replied, "our Riley has been
moved up to starting kicker today."


"Well, I am sure it will go through the uprights every time then," Jake
said as he bit into the freshly grilled hamburger offered to him by Captain
Hanford.


"There's beer in the cooler if you like Jake," Fred offered as Janet poured
red wine into Annie's cup.


Thinking about how beer entered into the formula that resulted in the
current state of affairs between Jose and himself, Jake settled for a
bottled water.  After more talk about athletics and academics, it was time
to filter into the stadium and watch the brigade of midshipmen march on to
the field before taking their seats.


Riley Hanford made the opening kickoff for first half as Jake watched,
familiar with football but not on the same intimate level as he was with
lacrosse.  He watched each play, grateful that he elected to play lacrosse
rather than hurry up and wait football.  The first half ended as Riley
nailed another extra point before the teams took to their locker rooms for
half time, Navy with a commanding lead.


Just as Annie slipped away to find Evan for a mom and son hot dog and soda
break, Jake's phone began buzzing in his pocket.  Of course, it was from
Jose and he sent the call direct to voicemail.  Another. Voicemail.
Another. Voicemail.  Then the texts started.


"Where are you?"  Delete


"Talk to me please" Delete


"I still love you Jake-O"  Delete


"Call me, please."  Delete


"I want to work this out." Delete


Jake stayed just long enough to watch the start of the third quarter before
excusing himself to go home.  He thanked the Hanfords for their tailgate
hospitality and gave Annie a hug before finding his way out of the stadium,
pausing to give a salute to one member in the sea of white uniforms before
going back to his red convertible in the lot at St. Paul's.


The drive to the Grimke home was only about 20 minutes from the stadium.
Emma dropped what she was doing in the kitchen when she heard the familiar
sound of her old car's hand brake being applied and ran out to hug Jake as
soon as he stepped out of the car.


"Jake honey, how's my baby boy?" Emma cooed into her 21 year old son's ear.


"I'm fine Mom, just wiped out, been on the go all day," he said, a quick
peck on her cheek.


Emma shook her head seeing Harmes on Jake's chest, "won't you two ever stop
sharing clothes?  I swear half of Evan's clothing is in your closet and
vice-versa."


Jake listened, then unzipped the warm up jacket revealing his UVa lacrosse
shirt, "Ev just wanted me to have some Navy team spirit, that's all."


"I hope you don't mind, I just made some stuffed chicken tonight," Emma
offered.


"Mom, anything you make is better than what I can cook down there," Jake
said reassuringly.


"Go get cleaned up, your dad called and his relief came in early for him
tonight so he could be with you," Emma said just as the other Grimke Honda
pulled up the driveway.


Jake watched his father emerge, wearing the white shirt with gold badge,
nameplate and collar brass bearing the crossed speaking trumpets indicating
the rank of battalion fire chief, Baltimore City Fire Department  It was
the first time Jake had seen his father since he was promoted the week
before while Jake was in Charlottesville at his father's alma mater.


"Hi Dad," Jake said giving his father a hug, "let me get a look at
Baltimore's newest battalion chief!"


"How are you Jake?" John Grimke hugged back.


"Thought you would never take a chief's test, Dad? Those guys always forget
where they came from," Jake said as they hugged.


"You know about team work, coach trying to get his players in position,"
John started his reply "and when Carson Whitelaw suggests you do something,
it's not just a suggestion, it's really just a friend to friend order that
you follow."


"I'm proud of you Dad, I know you will never forget where you came from,"
Jake said as the hug ended.


"I thought Jose was coming; your mother and I haven't seen him since the
start of summer?" John interrogated his son, wondering what the response
might be.


After the driveway reunion, the Grimkes walked inside as Jake started to
recount the morning's events again with as much detail as he told Evan.  It
was John's last day of day work and he went to a cabinet and found some
wine glasses before going out to the garage refrigerator for a couple
bottles of DeLoach chardonnay.  He uncorked the first one and put the
second into the kitchen refrigerator before pouring three glasses.


"DeLoach is a retired San Francisco fireman," Dad said as the wine settled
in the glass.


Jake smiled, his father always sharing some trivial factoid about other big
city fire departments steeped in tradition like Baltimore.  "Biggest east
coast FD on the west coast," Jake offered, remembering how is father once
said they were the only west coast fire department to wear traditional east
coat black gear and leather helmets.


Emma sipped from her wine glass as she finished the dinner preparations
while Jake set the table.  As much as John Grimke wanted to vent about
being overloaded with administrative paper work whether for payroll or
personnel actions, he bit his tongue and listened to Jake's problem before
asking, "so, how bad do you think it is?"


"Not sure, not what I wanted to come home to, not what I want to deal with
right now," Jake answered.


"Listen sweetie, I've always thought Jose was as responsible as you, he's
never given us a reason to think any less of him since you all started
dating each other when you were a senior in high school," Emma stated,
suggesting she still had confidence in Jose.


"I really think he was trying to tell me that he was doing this, and that
he wanted me to be okay with it," Jake said.


"Are you?" John asked on cross-examination.


"Part of me is, part of me isn't; and then there is a grey area in the
middle of it," Jake said, starting to think out loud, "and in his defense,
we never talked about what we would do when we were apart from each other
for extended periods of time."


Emma continued to rally to Jose's defense, "what if the tables were turned,
what would Jose find if he drove down to Charlottesville to surprise you
like that?"


"Not what I found this morning," Jake said with confidence.


"Son, I think you answered your own question; you two need to put your big
boy pants on," and with a touch of paternal warning, "and keep them on, and
then have a heart to heart.  This isn't just for one of you to decide
anymore; there is a lot at stake here.  Jake, son, just promise me one
thing: don't ever trade a relationship for an outcome."


"I know," sighed Jake, "I just have to get the anger out of my system."


"Jake honey, have you talked to him since this morning?" Emma asked.


Jake nodded no.


"Call him, I'll keep your dinner warm," Emma said.


Jake took a swallow of wine and excused himself to the family room and
dialed.


"Hey, how are you?" Jake said into his phone.