Date: Thu, 14 Dec 2006 22:31:55 EST
From: Storyman1019@aol.com
Subject: James's college days, part ten

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction.  It is a story that contains
graphic sexual encounters between consenting young adult men.  If you are
not of legal age to read this kind of story, please leave now.  If you
reside in area where reading stories that include sexual situations between
two consenting adult males are illegal, please leave now.  This story is
for entertainment purposes only.  Any similarity to any person(s) living or
dead is simply a coincidence.  The author retains all rights to this story.
It cannot be reproduced in any form without expressed written permission
from the author (me). Copyright 2006.


James's College Days, part ten


(I'm having a bit of a problem getting any depth to Kevin as of yet.  Maybe
it is his age, or it might be the situation.  But, hang in there with me.
I'm hoping he'll come along.  Also, I do not know French, but I tried my
hand at it using an English/French dictionary and a dictionary of French
slang.  If anyone does speak French and wants to tell me what Renee might
have said, feel free.  I would appreciate it.)

Kevin's story, part two

Our first day in St. Petersburg was spent on bus tours and seeing the
Hermitage. We went back to the ship for dinner. Renee and I decided to
sneak off the ship and see if we could find a club.  We could not, and
decided to return to the ship and play.  While checking us back in, the
steward called our parents.  We both were in a world of shit.

Our parents told us that we had to remain in my cabin the next two nights
and would not be able to have the run of the ship.  Oh well, I thought.
When Renee and I returned to my cabin, he said, "I guess we'll just have to
find something to do," and smiled.

He stripped out of his clothes and jumped under the shower before I had my
shoes and socks off.  When he stepped out of the shower, he had an
erection.  "Two nights locked in your cabin," he said, stroking his dick,
"I think my friend here is going to not be horny."

I smiled and stepped under the shower.  Drying myself, I watched Renee
slowly rubbing his dick.  I felt a hunger for him that I had never felt for
anyone before.  Earlier in the day, while walking through the Hermitage, I
started feeling anxious as it occurred to me, or maybe became real to me,
that I was gay.  I had felt attracted to guys in the past, but reasoned
that most guys felt shit like that. Each time being gay occurred to me I
dismissed it.  I reasoned that I had a girlfriend and had been laid several
times.  Gay guys can't get it up for girls, I assumed.

But, today, I realized that I had never felt so strongly drawn to a person
before. I couldn't remember pulling wood when thinking about a girl, but
just looking at Renee got me hard.  And, it was the type of hard-on that
would not go away.  We walked, we talked and all I could think about was
his dick.  I thanked God that I was wearing loose fitting jeans, boxer
briefs, and a long tee-shit.  I wondered if he was hard also.  I had to
find out.  When we stopped to look at some impressionistic paining, I
bumped his crotch with the back of my hand.  He smiled at me.  He did not
seem to be hard.  He then leaned toward me to say something and bumped his
hand against my crotch, hitting my hard dick.  His eyes widened and he
smiled.  Moments later he whispered, "Do it again."  I looked at him
smiling, looked around and quickly grabbed his crotch.  He was hard.

Our plans were to go back to my cabin as soon as we boarded the ship, but
instead our parents decided we should all have dinner together.  By the
time we were done with dinner, we were planning our escape into town.

Now we were alone, hard and ready.  Renee watched as I walked toward the
bed.  His eyes stayed focused on my dick.  "You have such a pretty dick,"
he said.

I lay down and said, "I don't think we say dicks are pretty."

"What do you say?"

"I don't know.  I guess, we'd say, `your dick is hot.'  Yeah, hot, is
good."

"Your dick is hot," he said and smiled.

We lay beside each other and watched as we stroked ourselves.  I sat up,
took hold of his dick and began stroking him.  He stretched out and smiled.
"You like my dick?"  I nodded and laughed.  His dick was rock hard.  I
played with his balls.

I looked closely at his pubic hair and asked, "Do you cut your pubes?" as I
brushed my hand over them.

"Yes.  I sometimes shave them off."

"Really?  Why?"

"It looks pretty.  No, I mean, hot," he moaned.  We talked as I continued
stroking his dick.  He began breathing hard.

"Are you close?"  He nodded.

I continued stroking his dick and I played with his balls.  He began
thrusting his hips upward.  His legs tensed and began shaking.  He moved
his head from side to side and began moaning loudly.  Grunting loudly, he
let explode from his dick, a huge shot of white thick cum.  It hit him on
his neck.  He was squirming.  I kept stroking him as he kept cumming.

When he stopped cumming, I slowed my stroking.  He looked at me and smiled
and said, "You make me feel very good, very very good," and then started
laughing.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Now, I make you feel very very good."

I stood, grabbed a towel, wiped my hand clean and tossed it to him.  I lay
down as he wiped himself clean.  He sat beside me and took my cock in his
hand.

He said, "Later, I can cut your hair and make you look hot."  I laughed.
"Then you can cut mine."  I nodded.  He began stroking my dick.  I watched
him.

He stopped stroking my dick, but held onto it.  He looked at me and said,
"Now, I make you feel very very good."

I watched as he head went to my crotch.  I felt the most pleasurable
sensation pass through my body as his mouth closed around my cock.  It was
not the first time my dick had been in someone's mouth, but it had never
felt like this.  I watch him bobbing up and down on my dick.  We were
moaning.

"Fuck, Renee.  Oh fuck, that feels incredible," I moaned.  He ran his
tongue over my cock head. I felt it all over my body.  "Fuck, Renee; oh
fuck," I kept moaning.

He looked up at me, moved off my dick and said, "You are feeling very
good?"

"Fuckin' incredible."  He returned to sucking my dick.  I watched him
licking the shaft of my dick and then back to sucking hard on my cock.  He
began licking my ball sac as he slowly stroked my dick and again went back
to sucking my dick.  He was moaning.  I had never been with someone who
actually enjoyed sucking my dick.

"Fuck, Renee, you'd better stop or you're going to get a mouthful," I
warned, as he sucked hard on my dick.  He held my dick at the base and
worked it with his mouth and tongue.  He would get me close and then slow
down, and then work me hard again.  "Renee, I can't hold back any longer.
Use your hand," I moaned, as I got to the point of no return.

Renee sucked harder, bobbing up and down faster.  "Oh fuck," I yelled out.
My body shook all over.  I gripped the sheets.  My legs tensed as I thrust
my hips upward.  I felt myself cum and I felt him swallowing. "Oh Fuck!" I
groaned. I had never cum in anyone's mouth before.  The feeling of his warm
mouth and his tongue moving over my cock head as I came was so amazingly
powerful that I found myself half sitting up and then falling back down as
each shot of my cum erupted from my dick.

While this was happening, and above my own moans and groans, I could hear
Renee moaning as he enjoyed my spunk flowing into his mouth.

I finally had to plead with him to stop.  "Oh fuck, Renee, please, no
more."  He let my still hard dick slip from his mouth.  He looked up at me
and smiled as he licked his lips.

"I made you feel very good, didn't I?" he asked.

I laughed, "Fuck, Renee, you made me feel better than I can remember," I
said, trying to catch my breath.

"Your cum tastes good," he said, smiling.  "And there was a lot of it."

I stared at him.  I felt like I was floating over my bed.  My body was
still coming down from my climax.  I desperately wanted to kiss him, but
for some reason I dared not.  I had never had a crush on anyone like I had
on Renee.  And, in that moment, I could not imagine ever feeling this way
about another person.

"Do you want to shave my hair off?" he asked and smiled.

"Your pubes?"I asked.  He nodded.  I smiled and nodded.  I sat up.

"Can I cut yours off, too?" he asked.  I laughed.  "It will look hot."

"Sure, why not.  Let's go for it," I said.  At that moment I would have
agreed to anything.

He opened his toilet kit and pulled out a pair of scissors and a razor and
saving cream.  He sat down on the bed and said, "Let me do you first.  You
can watch and then do me."

I laughed, blushed, shrugged and said, "Don't cut my dick."  I watched as
he cut my pubes until they were about half and inch long.  He then shaved
the little hair that was on the shaft of my dick and balls. I looked at
myself in a mirror and smiled.  "Fuck, it does look hot.  My dick looks
huge."

"It is huge," he said smiling.  I laughed.  "Now, do mine."

He lay down.  I cut his pubes shorter than they were.  As I did, his dick
got hard.  Holding it tightly, I shaved his balls.  Wiping the shaving
cream from his dick and balls, I slowly began stroking him.  He lay back
watching me.  He was about to get up, when I pushed him down.

I had been feeling both excited and nervous about doing what I was about to
do.  It would be the first time I had taken someone's dick into my mouth.
Although, I had wondered what it would be like, and had imagined it many
times while masturbating, doing it was different.  And, I knew, if I put
his dick in my mouth I could not stop sucking him until I brought him to
the place of pleasure he had brought me.

I began stroking him, again; slowly.  He settled down and reached for my
dick to stroke.  I took a deep breath.  I felt a hunger for his dick that
made my mouth water and my body ache.  I glanced at him and then at his
dick. Bending toward him, I opened my mouth.  I let his dick slide over my
tongue as I closed my lips over the shaft of his dick.  I heard him moan.
I moved my tongue over his dick and began sucking.  I loved the feel of his
dick in my mouth.  His dick was hard, but the skin was soft.  His dick head
was soft and spongy.  I moved down on his dick, expecting to gag, but I
didn't.  He put a hand on my head and began playing with my hair. My dick
hardened.  I glanced up at him.  He was watching me.  I let his dick slide
from my mouth and said, "I've never done this before."

He said, "It feels great."

"What should I do?"

He smiled and said, "Do what you like."

I began licking the shaft of his dick from bottom to top as it lay on his
stomach.  He took hold of his dick and said, "Lick the head," as he pulled
his foreskin back.  I lick around the corona of his dick head, and than
licked down the shaft to his ball sac.  He spread his legs.  I stroked his
dick and moved his balls around with my tongue.  I became fascinated with
his balls and kept licking them.  He moaned, and with his hand, pushed one
of his balls into my mouth.  I sucked on it and then opened my mouth,
sucking his other ball in.  With both his balls moving around in my mouth,
I kept stroking his dick.  He kept moaning.  "Kevvv-in, mon ami, you make
me feel so good," as he kept stroking my head.

I went back to sucking his dick.  I could taste his pre-cum.  It had a
mildly salty taste.  I squeezed his dick, wanting more.  I heard myself
moaning as I began taking more and more of his dick deeper into my throat.

"Mon ami, Kevin, tu fais une bon pipe, very very good pipe."  I looked up
at him.  He smiled, and said, "You give a very good blowjob to me."
Without missing a beat, I continued sucking his dick.  I could feel his
dickhead hardening in my mouth.  I became excited as I thought about his
cum shooting from his dick.  I moaned and sucked harder and deeper. He
moaned, "Kevin, je tire sa crampe."  He moaned loudly, "I am going to cum."
He began making short thrusts into my mouth as he held my head.  "Oh
Kevin," he grunted and began shaking.

His cum splashed against the back of my mouth.  I sucked hard.  Again, his
cum squirted hard into my mouth.  I swallowed and kept sucking.  More cum
exploded from his dick and filled my mouth.  It was warm, salty and thick.
As I swallowed, I could feel it moving down my throat.  I held on.  He was
thrashing around and squirming as I sucked the last drops of cum from his
dick.  "Oh Kevin, oh Kevin," he kept moaning.  "Mon ami, no more, please."

I sat up, looked at him and swallowed the last of his cum.  He glanced at
me.  We smiled at each other.  I lay down beside him.  "That was good for
the first time," he said and laughed.  "Very good."

He looked so happy lying there.  His eyes were closed.  His hair was
messed.  He was smiling.  I took hold of his hand.  He instantly closed his
fingers around mine.  I moved closer to him.  He moved closer to me and
pulled me against him.  My dick pushed into his hip.  I felt a deep longing
for him.  His beautiful blue eyes looked into mine.  I moved my face closer
to his.  He smiled. Putting my hand behind his head, I held him still while
I moved closer.  Our lips met.  We both sighed.

Our mouths opened and our tongues met.  Sighing loudly, our tongues began
dart back and forth.  I ran my tongue over his lips and then deep into his
mouth.  He sucked my lower lip into his mouth and then my tongue.  We
kissed hungrily.  Finally, I experienced the passion my friends talked
about when they made out with a girl.  My body was on fire.  I sucked on
his tongue, licked his teeth and lips.

Renee pushed me onto my back.  It was the first time he was forceful with
me.  It made me anxious.  I wanted to push back, but I didn't.  I decided I
liked it, which surprised me.  He began licking my neck and ear.  Slowly, I
gave in to him.  He kept licking and sucking and biting as he moved to my
nipples.  He sucked and bit his way to my cock.

I made him turn and move into a 69 position.  We spent the night kissing,
sucking, and swallowing each other.  We cuddled and fell in and out of
sleep until my phone rang.  It was 8 am. and my father was calling,
reminding us that we had a tour at 9:30.  We showered, grabbed a quick
breakfast and met out parents as they departed the ship.

We sailed to Estonia and spent the afternoon in Tallinn.  Then we set sail
for Poland.  Renee and I spent each night wrapped in each other's arms and
legs.  We did not talk about the extent of our feelings but, rather,
focused on the pleasures of the sex we were having.

With each night the depth of my crush and the longings I felt for Renee
intensified.  During the day, I found myself wanting to touch him.  Sitting
on the bus, we allowed our legs to rub against each other.  We would brush
against each other as we followed our tour leader through one museum or
another.  When having lunch on the tour, we would touch under the table.
By the time we returned to the ship to depart for the next capital, we
could hardly get our clothes off before we were all over each other.  We
seemed to be feeding off of each other's excitement.  The more intense his
passion was for me, the more I wanted him.

When we docked in Germany, we were told that we had a long day ahead of us.
We boarded a train to head south to Berlin.  As Renee and I walked the
length of the train, Renee said, "Follow me into the bathroom," and smiled.
I watched him open the bathroom door, step in and close the door behind
him.  I looked around, opened the door and stepped in.  He closed the door.
We started kissing.  He knelt down in front of me, unzipped my pants,
pulled my hard dick out and began sucking.  I was so turned on that I came
quickly.  He stood, smiled and kissed me.  I could taste my cum on his
tongue.  I began to kneel before him, but he said, "No, we better go," and
smiled.  He opened the door and stepped outside.  I followed him.  A young
man was waiting.  He looked at me, then at Renee, smiled and stepped into
the bathroom.

Berlin was interesting.  I noticed Renee talking to the tour leader as we
boarded the bus to head to a restaurant for lunch.  When we arrived, she
took Renee aside and pointed to a store.  I asked him what was going on.
He said, "Wait here.  I have a headache and want to get something at the
drug store."  I waited outside of the restaurant and waited for him.  He
walked out of the store, stuffing a bag into this pack.  He showed me the
two aspirin in his hand.  When we sat at our table, he asked from water.

That evening, as we rode the train back to the ship, I pulled Renee into
the bathroom.  I knelt before him, giving him a quick blow job.

We arrived at the ship at 11 pm.  An hour later it left port.  We would be
arriving in port the next morning in the Netherlands. Renee and I were both
becoming aware of the number of days left on the cruise.  We focused our
attention on the three days I would spend in Paris.

Renee and I said goodnight to our parents and returned to my cabin.  We
both tried to shower at the same time.  Mostly, we spent the time grabbing
each other.  Renee lay in bed as I dried off.  He smiled while watching me.
Again, I felt a strong craving for him.  I climbed in bed on top of him,
lay down and began kissing him. As had been the case each night before, our
kissing became very passionate.  We bit, licked, sucked at each other's
face and mouth, while grinding our crotches into each other.

I lay on top of Renee as he bit into my shoulder and I bit into his.  He
wrapped his legs around my waist and held me tightly.  I pressed hard into
him, my dick pushing against his ass crack.  He sighed, "Fuck me, please."

I pressed harder into him and moaned.  I watched as he reached under his
pillow and pulled out a box of condoms and lube.  I asked, "Where did you
get those?"

He smiled.  "In the drugstore, with the aspirins."

I sat up on my knees.  I looked at him and said, "Are you sure?"  He
nodded.  "I've never fucked anyone back there."  He handed me the box of
condoms.  "Won't it hurt?  Have you done this before?"

"No, never," he said.  "I think it will hurt, but then it won't.  That is
what I heard.  So, you have to go easy, please."

My face was warm with excitement.  My dick was, once again, rock hard.  I
had fucked girls before, but I was never this excited.  I unrolled the
condom onto my dick.  I watched as Renee began putting lube on his ass.  He
inserted his finger in his butt hole.  I took the lube from him and applied
it to my erection.  He kept moving his finger in and out of his butt.  I
moved over him, and lay down on top of him.  He wrapped his legs around me.
I reached around and played with his butt hole.  He sighed.  I slowly slid
one finger into his tight ass.

We kissed as he began slowly stroking his dick.  I slid two fingers into
his butt.  His insides felt warm and soft.  "Fuck me, Kevin."

I moved myself on his body.  I held my cock, placed it against his butt
hole, as we stared into each other's eyes.  He smiled and said, "Have you
fucked a virgin before?"

"No, never," I whispered.  I kept moving my dick head around the outside of
his butt hole.  He continued stroking his dick.  I slowly applied pressure
to his hole with my dick.  His eyes widened as he took a deep breath.  I
pulled away.  "It's going to hurt," I said.

"It will be okay.  Go easy."

Again, I pressed into him.  I felt my dick slid in.  I stopped moving.  We
looked at each other.  "Should I take it out?" I asked.

"No, it's okay."  Using his legs, he moved me further into him.  I kept
staring at him, looking for signs of pain.  I was surprised how tight he
was.  I went further into him and stopped again.  We both breathe hard.  I
moved further into him.

"Is there more?" he asked.  I nodded.  We started laughing.  "Put it all
in, but go slow."  I took a deep breath and nodded.  I slowly slid into
him.  At one point he tightened up.  I stopped and began to back out, but
he held me in place.  He took a breath and then pushed up into me.  I was
completely in him.

We both lay still.  I could not believe how tight he felt.  We lay holding
each other.  We began kissing.  Renee used his legs to push me into him.  I
began slowly thrusting.  He moaned as he masturbated.

"Are you okay?" I asked.  He smiled and nodded and went back to kissing me.

"Does it feel good?" he asked.

"Very, very good," I said, as I began thrusting deeper and faster.  "I
can't believe how good," I said, between deep breaths.  We did not speak
anymore.  We held each other as he masturbated and I fucked him.  We both
moaned loudly.

"Fuck me!  Make me your girl," Renee moaned.  "Fuck me like a man," he
insisted.  I began fucking him hard. He grunted loudly, "I'm going to cum,"
he groaned.  I kept fucking him.  He stared into my eyes and moaned, "Hard,
it feels good, please."  I began fucking him faster and harder and watched
as he stroked his dick furiously.  His hole tightened as he began to cum
which made me reach my climax.  We both moaned and groaned as he came all
over his stomach and I filled my condom.

I collapsed on top of him.  He wrapped his arms and legs around me, holding
me tightly against him.  We were both breathing fast and hard.  I began to
pull out of him, but he quickly tightened his legs around me.

We lay still until we both began to relax.  I looked at him and smiled.  He
relaxed his legs and I pulled out of him.  I sat up, looked at my chest
that was wet with his cum and asked, "You okay?"

"I liked it.  Did you?"

I laughed and said, "It was the best fuck I've ever had."  I stood, pulled
off the condom, holding it up so he could see all my cum.  "I almost filled
it," and laughed.

We both showered again, quickly.  Dried each other off and climbed back
into bed.  "Does your butt hurt?" I asked.

"No," he answered.  "Do you want to be the girl next?"

I had thought about what it might be like to get fucked.  The idea
intrigued me, and the idea of Renee being the first one to fuck me had been
something I had thought about several times since we started sucking each
other.  But I instantly responded by saying no.  In all my fantasies about
getting fucked, I was standing, or on my hands and knees, or sitting on top
of someone.  The thought of having Renee on top of me excited and scared
me.  But once having said no, I knew I would not change my mind.

Later that night, we lay head to toe and sucked each other until we came.
We lay in that position, holding each other until we fell asleep.  During
the night, I woke up feeling Renee sucking my dick.  I glanced at him.  He
smiled and said, "It was hard," and shrugged.  I had been using his leg as
a pillow.  I glanced at his dick.  It, of course, was hard.  Half asleep, I
opened my mouth and began sucking him.

The next day, we walked all over Amsterdam.  Renee had been to Amsterdam
with his parents.  Our tour took us to the red-light district.  I had never
seen anything like that before. Women, with almost nothing on, stood in
windows waiting for a john.  I asked him if there were men in windows, too.
He shook his head and smiled.  He told me that there were bars where
working boys danced.  I began to understand how differently the Europeans
felt about sex in general and homosexuality specifically.  I felt
emboldened.  Several times during the day, I thought about taking Renee's
hand to hold, but I did not.

That night, as we sat with our parents at dinner, my father reminded me
that I had to pack my luggage.  We would be disembarking tomorrow and
transferring to a hotel in Paris.  My stomach twisted tight, as I thought
about my trip coming to an end.  Renee and I had already talked about
spending every night that I was in Paris together.  He was going to show
me, `Paris at Night'.

After Renee packed his belongings, he joined me in my cabin.  We were both
feeling badly.  The smiles, the high energy, the need to be at each other,
were gone.  He asked, "Will you have your own room in Paris?"

"Yes."

He smiled but looked sad.  "We can spend time."  I nodded. "I don't want us
to end."

"Me neither," I said.  I sat down next to him on the bed.

He took hold of my hand.  "I'm afraid you will be angry at me."

"Why?"

"I want to say I love you," he said.  "You have been such a good
boyfriend."  He lay his head on my shoulder and began to cry.  "I want to
be with you."

I put my arm around him and kissed him.  "I'm not angry.  I want to be with
you, too.  I never really thought I wanted to have a boyfriend, but I wish
we could be boyfriends."  We lay down beside each other fully clothed.
But, before long, we were naked, and kissing.  Again, I fucked him while he
masturbated.  And, again, we spent the night 69'ing.

When we disembarked the next day, we boarded the tour bus to Paris.  When
we arrived in Paris, my parents said their good-byes to Renee's parents.  I
told Renee what hotel we would be staying in.  He told me that he would see
me that evening.

I spent the next two days and nights running all over Paris with Renee.  Of
course, we made many detours to my hotel room.  Usually, we gave each other
quickie blow jobs during the afternoon, but each night I fucked him while
he masturbated.

The morning before we were to leave, I had a conversation with my father.
My mother was shopping with Renee's mother.  I said, "I don't want to go
back."

"You don't want to go home?"

"Right.  I want to stay here."

"You can't.  What are you thinking?" he asked, stupefied.

"I want to go to school where Renee is going.  He lives at school.  I can
live there," I insisted.

"No you can't.  It's a French school.  You don't speak a word of French.
Besides, they aren't going to just accept you.  He goes to a very good
private school.  It takes a lot to get in.  You can't just walk up to the
door and say, `I'm here'."

"Well, we can figure something out.  I bet there are American kids here
going to school.  Can't I do that?"

"I don't get you," he said, in exasperation.  "You didn't want to come to
Europe.  You said you would hate it.  Now, three weeks in Europe and you
love it?"

"I don't love Europe.  I love Renee and he loves me.  I want to stay here
to be with him."

My father sat silently for a time.  I was surprised at the ease with which
the words flowed from my mouth.  We stared at each other.  "You are in love
with Renee?" he asked.  I think I knew he would not be angry, but I
expected some kind of reaction.  I nodded.  "You're saying that you are
gay?"  I nodded.  He looked upset.  Maybe more surprised.  "And, I guess,
Renee is gay?"

"Yes, he is."

"His parents know this?"

"No.  Well, as far as I know, they don't." I answered.

He took a deep breath.  "Well, then, I imagine this will make leaving Paris
difficult for you, but I can't leave you here.  You can't go to school
here.  Renee will be going to school in a few weeks, anyway.  I'm sorry,
but you are asking the impossible."  I kept waiting for his reaction.

 "You made me come on this trip.  I would have been happy to have stayed
home, but you made me come.  Now, I want to stay and you're making me go
home," I growled.  "All you do is make my life miserable." Even though I
knew he was right, I was angry at him.

"Really?  Is that all I do?"

"I try to be a good son, but I'm not going to anymore."

"Well, I try to be a good father, and I'm going to continue to do so,
regardless of what you do."  I sat there steaming. He had always been a
great dad, but in some way that drove me crazy.  He was always fair, caring
and reasonable.  My mother, on the other hand was easily upset.  "Will you
see Renee tonight?"

"Yes," I answered.

"I guess he will spend the night with you."

"We were planning on it.  He told his parents and they said okay."  My dad
nodded.  It occurred to me that he might say that Renee could not spend the
night, but that was not like him.  "Dad, I really care about him."

He sighed.  "Can I ask you something?  I nodded.  "You had a girlfriend
last year.  You and I had a long talk about being responsible when having
sex.  I assumed that you then were," he hesitated, "sexually involved with
her."  He looked at me.  I nodded.  "Now you are sexually involved with
Renee?"  Again, I nodded.  For as long as I could remember, my dad made
efforts to talk to me about things that most dads would try to avoid.  I,
in turn, found it easy, albeit uncomfortable, to be honest with him.
"Well,"

I interrupted him and said angrily, "You're not going to say this is a
phase, or that maybe this just happened."  He looked at me.  "I've been
with two girls.  I've been with one guy.  I've always thought I might be
gay, but when I was with these girls I thought maybe I wasn't.  But to tell
you the truth I enjoyed jerking off more than fucking them."

"And it's different with Renee?"

"Very different.  Very different," I said calmly.

He breathe deeply and nodded.  "Okay, I believe you.  But you know there is
nothing I can do.  You have to come home."

Again we sat for a while.  "Are you angry?" I asked.

"About you being gay?"

"Yeah."

He sighed, and said, "No.  I am surprised.  Worried mostly.  Sad, I guess."

"Why are you sad?" I asked.  I was ready to fight.

"Your life is going to be difficult.  I'm your father.  Life is difficult
enough."  He looked at me and asked, "Do you want your mother to know about
this?"

"Not yet," I answered.  I got up to leave the room.  I looked at him and
said, "Don't worry.  I'm not stupid."

"You're my son.  I worry about you.  That's just part of what I do.  And
it's because I love you."

I nodded and opened the door to leave.  I turned around and said, "I love
you, too.  And, I'm still going to stop being a good son and make your life
miserable," and smiled.

"Yeah, well, that's not new, is it?" and smiled.  "Its just part of what
you do."

I left him and went to my room.  I sat and cried.  I wanted to fight with
someone.  I wanted to make someone hurt.  Sometimes I wished my dad would
be unreasonable so that I could hate him.  Maybe, I thought, I should tell
my mom.  She'd surely give me the reason I needed to get nuts.

Renee joined me at the hotel.  I told him about the conversation I had with
my father.  He said he wished I could go to school with him, but knew I
could not.  He told me that his mother knew he was gay and that he thought
his father was figuring it out.  We went out for the afternoon.  We had
dinner at a small restaurant his parents always went to.  Then we went to
the hotel and spent the night making love, talking, and making promises to
stay in touch.  We planned that I would come back to France next summer and
that he and I would travel all over Europe.  Neither of us slept.

The next morning my phone rang at 5am.  It was my dad.  We had an early
flight back to Los Angeles.  Renee and I kissed good-bye.  He cried.  My
eyes filled with tears.  I never let anyone see my cry, anymore.  When I
joined my parents, I began what I planned would be a six to eight month
pout.  Then I would spring my plan to travel Europe with Renee on them.  I
figured that they'd then do anything to make me happy.

I watched as our plan lifted off.  Again, tears filled my eyes.  I sat back
and stared straight ahead.  I noticed my dad looking at me.  I glanced at
him.  He looked concerned.  I looked away.



Email me at Storyman1019@aol.com