Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2010 18:13:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: Sam Shell <stories_of_sam@yahoo.com>
Subject: Josh Goes To College Chapter 1 (intro)

This story is purely fiction. This story will at some point include sexual
relations between two college aged males if you don't want to read
something like that then leave. If you are under the age of 18 (21 in some
areas) or if it is illegal for you to view this material then you should
exit out of this.

This story is copyrighted and may not be copied for any reason without the
authors' permission.


Josh Goes to College



I stare out the window and look down and I feel a peaceful feeling sweep
over me. Somehow when I look at the ground thousands of feet below I don't
feel fearful like so many other people who are afraid of flying feel. I
know it may sound crazy to those of you who fear flying but for those who
share the same thoughts about flying as me you will understand. When I look
out the window at the ground below everything seems so small and
insignificant and all the sudden all the thoughts in my head disappear. All
the worries and anxiety I have are gone, at least for the time on the plane
and all I can think of is how small everything is from up here.

I guess my problems aren't so bad I mean when you compare my problems to a
lot of other people who really do have problems you would want to beat the
shit out of me for feeling so doomed. I do after all have a wonderful
family – happily married parents who really are the greatest parents I
could ever wish to have, 2 brothers and 3 sisters and even a dog it's like
THE picture of the perfect family.

So why do you ask am I on this airplane? Where am I going and why am I
alone? Well I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Josh and I have
brown hair and blue eyes. I'm about 5'11" and I have a swimmers body. I am
flying half way across the country to go to college where I got a
scholarship for the swim team. Now why if I have such a perfect family
would I want to leave them? That is a very complicated question and
something my family just couldn't understand. You see they wanted me to go
to the local university but I wanted to get away. Just escape. I love my
family so much they really are everything to me and I know they love me
just as much but I felt trapped at home. I need to get out and live and
have the chance to truly be myself.

I've known I was gay since I was 13. I remember sitting with my friends and
they stared talking about girls and it was like this light bulb went off in
my head and I realized I didn't feel like they did about girls and in fact
I was thinking about boys like they were girls. I knew that I couldn't tell
anyone so I played the straight guy role by dating girls throughout high
school and I even hoped that I could learn to like it and `turn' straight
but of course that never happened. I never did come out to anybody, my
friends, my parents, nobody. I have always been terrified that someone
would find out about me especially my family and while I think my family
would be ok with it I don't know that for sure and the thought of losing my
family feels like my heart is ripping apart. I don't know how I'm gonna
tell them.

So here I am an 18 year old virgin on his way as far from what I know as my
life as I can get in the hopes that I can be out as gay and maybe find a
boyfriend. I hope it all works out.



*******

What do you think? Is it worth continuing? If enough people want to read
more then I'll write more and yes the chapters will be a lot longer than
this chapter. Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism welcome.
Keep in mind that this is my first attempt at a story. Email me at
stories_of_sam@yahoo.com.

*******