Date: Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:15:29 -0700 (PDT)
From: Sam Shell <stories_of_sam@yahoo.com>
Subject: Josh goes to college chapter 8

This story is purely fictional. However, some places mentioned do in fact
exist, but certain things may be changed for the advantage of the story.
This story will, at some point, include sexual relations between two
college-age males. If you don't want to read something like that, then
leave. If you are under the age of 18 (21 in some areas), or if it is
illegal for you to view this material, then you should exit out of this.

This story is copyrighted and may not be copied for any reason, without the
authors' permission.


Previously...

I was sliding my hand up and down his back, and just when I put my hand
slightly into the back of his pants, I heard the door open....we both
looked up....oh, fuck!

I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE A FUCKING FAGGOT!

Chapter 8

*Justin*

I know that how I'm acting is wrong, and to tell you the truth, I have no
idea why I keep acting like this. I have a feeling that `The Dream' is
behind this, but I can't get past the shadow getting closer to me. I'm
beginning to think I'm going crazy. I decided that I really need to go to
class, and then to practice, so I dragged myself to them, but I don't think
it mattered, because I couldn't concentrate. I tried to think about why I'm
so angry, and about the dream, but every time I thought about it I got
angrier, so I just stopped thinking.

One thing I did know was that I had to apologize to Justin, I know he has
had to deal with a lot of shit from me, and he doesn't deserve that,
especially what happened when he and his friend were studying. When I got
out of practice, I decided that I really needed to talk to him, so I headed
back to the dorm, hoping that he was there.

I opened the door, and stood there for a second, shocked. He is a fag! I
knew it! Now I know why he was so pissed at me. He and that guy, Noah, I
think, were making out on his bed. They looked up at me, and I could see
that they were shocked, but fuck, so was I, and what they were doing was
disgusting, but more than anything I was pissed! I heard myself yell:

"I KNEW IT I KNEW YOU WERE A FUCKING FAGGOT!"

"J-Justin W-What are you doing here?"

"It's my fucking room, too! Listen! I'm going out. When I get back, you
better have him out of here, and you better find another place to stay,
because I will not room with some fag."

I shut the door and started walking. I'm shaking so hard I can barely
walk. It took everything I had in me to stop myself from beating the shit
out of both of them, but I managed. I have got to talk to someone, or I'm
afraid I may actually hurt someone, or maybe even kill someone, and I
really am not like this. I swear I'm not; ask anyone. I don't know who I
can talk to besides my mom, and I really didn't want to do that, but now I
don't have a choice.

Normally I would drive, but right now I need to let off some steam, so I
walk the mile to my mom's house. I know she isn't home right now, but I'll
wait. Maybe Jason will be there, and actually talk to me. When I got to the
house, I let myself in, and headed to the kitchen to get something to
drink. I got some water, and sat down at the kitchen table. I started
thinking over the past couple of weeks. I've never been homophobic, and I
know what people say about homophobic people; that they are really just
gay, and can't deal with it, but I know that isn't me. Hell, I wish that
was the reason, not that I want to be gay, but it sure as hell would be an
easy explanation; instead, I'm left completely confused. I had classmates
in high school who were gay, and I had no problem with them, and generally
I don't; but lately, it's like I turn into a completely different person
when I see gay people.

I lost track of time, and wasn't paying attention to anything around me,
because when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I jumped and looked up to find
my mom staring at me, with a concerned look on her face.

"Justin, what are you doing here? Are you ok?"

Maybe it was something about how she said that or how she looked, but I
blurted out "No, I'm not ok! Something is wrong with me!"

She sat down and took my hand, and I couldn't stop myself from tearing
up. I started telling her everything: the dream, the anger, how I was
feeling toward gay people, and I could tell she was disappointed; but after
awhile, I started getting mad, because of talking about it ,and by the time
I got to telling her about my roommate, I yelled "EVEN MY FUCKING ROOMMATE
IS A FAG! I DON'T WANT TO ROOM WITH A DISGUSTING FAG; IT MAKES MY SKIN
CRAWL, AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP. WHAT IF HE TRIES TO FUCK ME? I
CAN'T STAND FAGGOTS, AND I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM. THEY SHOULD
ALL JUST DIE!"

She got this shocked look on her face, and I guess she saw something behind
me, because she looked over my shoulder, and her face paled. I looked
behind me, and Jason was there, staring at me with disbelief, and tears
streaming down his face.

"Jason..." my mom started to say, but he just turned and left the house.

My mom slammed her fist on the table. "Shit!" If it weren't such a serious
situation, I would have laughed, because she never swears, but when she did
that, it actually made me jump.

"This is all my fault."

"What do you mean this is all your fault?"

"I...umm have to make a phone call. You are staying here tonight - no
arguments. I don't want you hurting anybody else."

I didn't know what she meant when she said that she didn't want me hurting
anybody else, but I just nodded, because I knew that this wasn't the time
to argue with her. She got up from the table and disappeared into her
bedroom, for what seemed to be a long time, before she came out and said,
"We are going to have a visitor."

"Who?"

"Your uncle."

"Uncle Mike? Why?"

"He needs to tell you about something that happened a long time ago."

"Why does he need to tell me? Why can't you?"

"I think it would be best for him to explain what happened, because he can
explain it better than I can, because he was actually there when it
happened."

"Ok, fine. So when will he be here?"

"In about 2 hours."

We just sat there looking at each other, not saying anything for a long
time, until she said "I should make some coffee." She went over to the
coffee maker, and didn't say anything else. I was getting ready to say
something, anything to stop all the silence, when there was a knock on the
door. My mom told me that she would get it, and when they came into the
kitchen, I looked up and saw my uncle for the first time in 7 years. He
looked stressed, and slowly came over to me, and hesitantly hugged me.

My mom got us all a cup of coffee, and sat down next to my uncle. I had
enough of all the silence, and said, "Ok, tell me what's going on here."
They looked at each other, and then my uncle sighed. "First, I want you to
know that we all love you, and we thought we were doing the right thing; we
thought we were protecting you. Your mom explained everything that's going
on with you, and I think both of us have realized that we probably should
have done things differently."

"It all started when you were 5 years old. I saw how much your parents were
struggling with trying to work, and take care of you and your brother, and
I wasn't doing very well either, so I offered to watch both of you, if they
could let me stay with them. It worked out well; they got the help they
needed, and I had a place to stay. I absolutely adored both of you, I
remember how full of life both of you were, and it made me feel more alive
than I had in years. The only problem I had was that I was 23, and horny
like any other guy my age, but babysitting and living in your house didn't
exactly give me the opportunity to take care of that, other than my
hand. Sorry, Sis, just trying to be honest. Justin, I know you have a
problem with gay people right now, but I have to tell you that I'm
gay. Before you get angry, I really need you to try to ignore how you feel
about that, and let me finish, please.

"I started inviting guys over after I had put you and Jason to bed. We
would go to my room and have sex, and then the guy would leave, and I would
check on you both, and then go to bed. I had been living with you for
several months, and everything was great. But then one night, a guy came
over, and we had a drink - just one drink, and I started feeling like the
room was spinning, and I couldn't move. He basically raped me, and then
disappeared. I didn't know where he went, and I couldn't move, so I just
laid there, terrified. I guess he didn't give me a very big dose of
whatever it was, because after about 10 minutes or so of lying there, I
could move; not well, but I could move. I went to check on Jason, and then
went to go check on you. When I got to your room, I saw him touching you. I
freaked out, and I don't know how I managed...maybe it was adrenaline, but
I lunged at him and started punching him, and then I dragged him out the
door and locked it. I went back to your room. and just held you and
sobbed. I couldn't believe I let that happen. I had brought him into the
house; it was my fault. You woke up and asked me why I was crying, and I
lied and said that I was crying because I was happy to have you and Jason
as my nephews. It seemed to make you happy, and you said, `I love you,
Uncle Mike; I'm glad you live with us.' I gave you a kiss on the forehead,
and tucked you in and went to my room. I didn't sleep at all that night.

"I know I should have told your parents, but I didn't; I was ashamed. I
didn't invite any guys over for a long time after that. Eventually, I was
so horny that I ended up inviting guys over again, but I was paranoid. I
barely invited anybody, and when I did, I never let them fix me a drink,
and I never let them out of my sight. Every time I invited a guy over, and
nothing happened, I felt better. Then I met a guy that I ended up having a
relationship with; he was great, funny, kind, just a really sweet guy. We
were together for 5 months, and he had started staying the night. Your
parents knew about him, and were ok with him staying the night, as long as
he was gone before you and your brother woke up. They didn't want to
explain to you or your brother, at such a young age, who he was, and I
agreed.



"One night, he was staying with me, as he had many times before, and I woke
up, because I had to go to the bathroom. When I looked over to where he
should be, he wasn't there, and my heart immediately sank. I ran to your
room, and there he was. He was...he was...well, lets just say it involved
his mouth and you. I pulled him off of you and started punching him, and I
think I would have killed him, except I noticed you had awakened, and was
looking at me with this terrified look. So I dragged him out the door and
locked it, but this time I called the police.

"I told them all about the previous time, and what I saw this time, and I
had to tell your parents everything. Your parents were furious...mostly at
the 2 that did what they did, but also at me for putting both of you at
risk, and I understood how they felt, because I was angry with myself,
also. Social services were called, and they told your parents that if they
didn't want their children taken away, I had to move out. I was going to be
moving soon anyway, because your dad was going to be graduating in 2 weeks,
and he had a job offer, so I moved out the next day. The 2 men were
arrested and charged, but because you were asleep the first time, and
probably half asleep the 2nd time, we thought it would be best if I were
the only witness. We thought we were protecting you by not getting you
involved. We decided that moving on and not mentioning it was the best
thing to do. When you were 11, your parents told me that they thought it
would be best if I stayed away from you for a while, because you would be
going through puberty soon, and they thought that my being around you when
all those changes were happening would bring back memories, if you had been
partly awake, so I stayed away. At your father's funeral, I didn't let you
see me, and I haven't seen you since, except for pictures.

"I felt so guilty; I mean...what kind of person was I to attract not only 1
pervert, but 2? I started drinking a lot, and I sank into a depression. I
eventually met someone who helped me become sober, and I've been sober for
3 years. His name is Brian, and he is my partner. At first I was worried
about him possibly being like those 2 guys, but I soon learned he
wasn't. He is a counselor and works with all kinds of people, but mostly
with gay and lesbian teens. He is the kindest, gentlest, funniest guy I
know, and we've been living together for almost 3 years.

"Your mom told me about the dream, and it makes me almost certain that the
time I caught my boyfriend doing that to you wasn't the first time, and for
that I am more sorry than I can ever say. I just hope that one day you can
forgive me, and I hope you can forgive us for hiding it from you; we were
only trying to protect you"

I just sat there shocked; I couldn't believe something like that happened
to me. I don't understand why I suddenly started having the dream after so
many years, and I had never had a problem with gay people before. But as I
sat there, I thought that maybe it was because I had gone through such a
big change with starting college, that it triggered something I had long
forgotten.

I looked at both of them, and, for some reason, I couldn't be angry with
them. Yes, I'm pissed that nobody told me when I got older, but I couldn't
be mad at them for trying to protect me, and I felt like it just showed how
much they love me.

"Listen, I'm not mad at either of you, I wish you would have told me when I
got a little older, but I understand why you chose to hide it from me. I
know you were only trying to do what was best for me, and it shows me how
much you really do love me. Uncle Mike, it wasn't your fault. Maybe you
shouldn't have brought guys into the house after the first time, but I can
understand why you did. After all, I'm a guy, too," I said, blushing. "I
know you never wanted something like that to happen."

"I can't say I'm no longer feeling homophobic, because I am, but I
understand why I feel like that now, and I'll try to work on it."

"Justin, I think you need to see a counselor to help you work out how you
are feeling. If you want me to, I can talk to Brian about finding someone
to be your counselor."

"No, Uncle Mike. While I appreciate your concern, I don't need a
counselor. I'll work it out myself."

"Justin...please, you need to see a counselor."

"No, mom, I don't. I'm sorry, but I'm really tired, and I want to go to
bed. Uncle Mike, I hope you won't disappear for another 7 years."

I went to my room, and laid down on my bed. I really must have been tired,
because, surprisingly, I fell asleep quickly.

*Josh*

I swear, I almost had a heart attack when Justin walked in on us. He
yelled, and told me that I need to find another room, and then he left. I
was afraid that Noah would freak out and want to leave, but when I looked
at him, he just smiled slightly and said, "Well, that killed the mood,"
which made us both laugh. But then he turned serious and said, "I'm sorry
you have to deal with a roommate like him; are you going to be ok staying
here?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I already asked if I could move to another room when
he started with his homophobic shit, and they told me they didn't have
another room available, so he'll just have to live with me."

"What about moving in with me? I don't have a roommate."

"I would, but when I asked about changing dorms, they said they couldn't do
that for insurance reasons, or something like that, and that they could
consider it after this semester."

"Well, what about moving, and not telling them?"

"I would, but if they find out, I could lose my scholarship."

"Oh, well, we wouldn't want that would we?" he asked, while lowering his
mouth to mine. I didn't answer, because I couldn't talk with his tongue in
my mouth. I guess I was tired, because the last thing I remember doing is
kissing him before I fell asleep.

When I woke up, Noah was lying with his head on my chest, with one of his
legs on top of me, and the first thing that came to my mind was how nice it
felt to wake up with him next to me. I looked over to Justin's bed, and it
didn't look like he had been here. It was Saturday, so I assumed he
probably stayed at his house, since it wasn't far from here.

I looked over at Noah, and he looked so peaceful, that I didn't want to
disturb him, but then I got an idea. I kissed his forehead, then his eyes,
his nose, both cheeks, his chin, and then his mouth, and then I thought,
`what the hell', and started nibbling on his ears, and then down to his
neck, and he started moaning! I looked up, and could tell he was still
asleep, so I just lifted his shirt, and started licking and kissing his
nipples, and that earned me a groan, along with a "that's a nice way to
wake up." He pulled me back up and kissed me. "I have got to take a shower;
I feel nasty. Want to join me?"

I laughed, "You know we can't do anything in the shower; others could walk
in on us."

"I didn't say we had to do anything, but there's nothing wrong with
looking!"

I looked at the clock - 8:42; there is no way others would be up at this
time on a Saturday, so I said, "Ok, lets go!"

When we got there, I looked around; no people; yes! I looked at Noah,
grinning, and I started slowly, teasingly stripping, as he did the same. By
the time we got in the shower, we were both hard. The showers were open,
with just different shower heads, so we got under separate ones, but we
were next to each other. I started washing my hair, but my eyes were locked
on Noah and his on me. I was so turned on, I was leaking, and I knew I
would have to do something about it, and when I looked, I noticed Noah was
in the same condition. I started soaping up, but when I got to my cock, I
purposely spent too long there, before going back up to my chest. Noah
repeated the same thing, and he huskily said, "I'll wash your back if
you'll wash mine." I nodded, and turned around. He washed my back, but
didn't stop there; he washed my ass, too, and then my legs. He looked
around, and then turned me around, and bent over and took just the head of
my dick into his mouth, swiping his tongue along it, and then pulled away,
and turned around. I just stood there; I couldn't get myself to move, and
when I didn't do anything for a minute, he turned around and looked at me,
and laughing, said, "Well, aren't you going to wash my back, too?"

"Uhh...umm, yeah of course." I took the soap from him, and washed his back,
and then I washed his ass, and then I thought, `well, if he can do it, so
can I,' and I looked around, and seeing no one, I turned him around and did
the same to him as he had done to me. He smiled at me, and then ran a
finger along his cock, looked around, and then grabbed his cock and started
stroking. God, that's hot! I almost came just from seeing him do that! I
grabbed my cock and started stroking. We stood there watching each other,
and when we were both close, Noah walked the couple of feet over to me and
took my cock into his hand, and I took his in mine, and we kissed, as we
finished each other off. When I came, it was explosive, and my knees were
weak. I could tell Noah was in the same shape, because we were leaning on
each other. After we recovered, we rinsed off, dried off, and then headed
back to my room. Then, as if we were thinking the same thing, we laid down
on my bed, completely naked, and Noah wrapped himself around me, laid his
head on my chest, and we fell back to sleep.

*Noah*

When Justin found us kissing, I'll admit that I was nervous. I didn't know
what he was capable of, but when he just yelled and left, I relaxed. I
really wanted Josh to move in with me, but when he explained why he
couldn't, I understood. Somehow, we fell asleep kissing. I woke up to Josh
licking my nipples. I swear there is a direct connection from my nipples to
my dick, because I was instantly half hard. I told him I wanted to take a
shower, and asked him to join me.

When we got there, we teasingly stripped and got in the shower. I don't
know what made me say it, but I told him I'd wash his back if he would wash
mine. I got brave by taking the head of his cock in my mouth, and I really
wanted to take more, but I didn't want to take the chance of getting
caught. I think he was shocked, because when I turned around to get my back
washed, he just stood there. To my surprise, he took me into his mouth for
a second. I needed relief, and fast, so I started jerking off, and Josh
joined me. I decided I wanted to finish him off myself, so that is just
what I did. After we finished our shower, we headed back to his room, and I
laid my head on his chest and fell asleep again. I could get used to this.

*Josh*

I was awakened by the door opening. Noah and I were both still in bed, and
still naked, so I quickly grabbed the blanket and covered us up.

"Hey," Justin said.

"Hey."

"Listen, I'm sorry. I'm really screwed up right now, and I don't really
want to go into it, but I found out something about my past which could be
the reason why I've been so homophobic; I'm not trying to make an excuse. I
know how I've been acting is wrong, and I can't say that I'm ok with you
and other gay people, but I can tell you that I'm gonna work on it; just
please be patient, ok?" Not waiting for me to say anything, he continued,
"I don't expect you to believe me, but I wasn't like this a few weeks ago;
it was like a trigger was set off inside me, and now I have to try to
figure out how to go back to how I was before. We have got to figure out
some way of letting each other know when we have someone over, because I
don't want to walk in on you again, and I'm sure you feel the same with
me."

"Ok, I'll try to understand, but you've got to understand where I'm coming
from, too. I've lived with you for the past few weeks, and almost every
day, I've had to listen to your homophobic comments. You have to meet me
half way on this; all I ask is that you try to watch what you say when you
are around me. I can't move out, because there are no more rooms available;
believe me, I checked after you made a few comments that first week, so
you're stuck with me until at least the end of the semester. We have a
bulletin board on our door; how about we pin a piece of paper, with an `x'
on it if we have someone over?"

"Yeah, ok, that works, and I'll try, I really will. I really want to try to
be friends with you, and you too, Noah."

He was so quiet, I almost forgot he was there, but he replied, "I would
too."

"Ok," Justin replied, smiling.

*Justin*

I apologized to Josh, but I have to admit that I still felt a lot of hatred
for gay people, and I still felt the need to hit some of them, but I just
took a deep breath, and reminded myself that they were human, just like me,
and they didn't deserve violence.

About a week after finding out what happened to me, that guy, who had
checked me out, passed by me on his way to the shower. When we were in the
locker room, and when I had passed him, he reached out and pinched my
butt. I forgot all about self control, and grabbed him and punched him. I
kept punching him, and it was like I was watching myself do it; like I had
no way of stopping myself. I felt hands around me, pulling me away, and I
looked down at the guy - he was bleeding, and I pushed away the guys who
were holding me. I felt sick; I ran to the bathroom and threw up, then went
to the sink and washed out my mouth, and took some water, and washed my
face. I can't believe I lost control, and all over him pinching my butt. I
looked into the mirror, and that's when my actions really hit me. I
literally sank to the floor; I was laying there curled up on the floor,
sobbing, when everything went black...



***Authors Note*

So there you go the explanation to why Justin is like he is. I know a lot
of you thought he might be gay and while that happens a lot in both stories
and real life I had decided early on that I wanted Justin to be straight. I
never planned for him to be as angry as he was but when I ended up writing
him that way I knew that to explain his actions he would either have to be
gay or something drastic had to have happened to him. Not wanting him to be
gay I chose the latter and while it is a disturbing thing to talk about, I
chose it so that there would be a reasonable explanation for his homophobic
behavior.

I have a yahoo group that will tell you when the next chapter is up, all
you need to do to be notified of a new chapter is to join
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/stories_of_sam/

You can contact me through the group or by emailing me at
stories_of_sam@yahoo.com

Thanks for all the emails I've received!

Thank you to my editor for fixing the many problems each chapter has before
you read it.