Date: Tue, 11 Apr 2006 12:53:51 -0700 (PDT)
From: Tiffani Chin <eliteecrew@verizon.net>
Subject: Jumping Over my Mountain, Chapter 8

Disclaimer: This story is copy right protected. Please do not post it on
any other website. If you are not 18 or male on male action offends you, do
not continue further. Email me, EliteECrew@verizon.net for feedback.


Jumping over my Mountain, Chapter 8


(Zeke's point of view)

***

Normally I would be nervous meeting someone's parents, but somehow meeting
Skyler's mother, father, and the rest of his relatives and family friends
wasn't as intimidating as it should have been for a boyfriend.

For one thing, Skyler's mother was awesome. While Skyler's Dad was polite
and friendly enough, his mother was so warm and open, constantly making
jokes. She had a similar humor to Skyler, which is why I probably liked her
so much.

Overall, I felt very much at home here and more welcome than I would at my
mother or father's respective homes. No wonder I chose to spend Christmas
Eve and Christmas day with his family instead of my own. The people here
were more fun, while my own family was uptight and uncomfortable with my
being gay.

I watched from my seat on the couch in the living room as Skyler piled more
food onto his plate. This must have been his fourth helping. Good thing his
parents had money; otherwise they'd go broke trying to feed him.

I glanced over and saw Hiro and Crew leaning against the counter in the
kitchen; he was talking to the twin's mom and smiling a lot, while Hiro
stood beside him in a shy quiet manner. Occasionally I would see Hiro talk
to Skyler's mom, but it was rare. Hiro was cool but he was a man of few
words. He loomed over Crew constantly and I mean that in a positive way. He
stuck to Crew like crazy and no one really knew what Hiro's sexual status
was, but the way he looked and watched over Crew, I'm going to say he was
100% gay.

Whatever the deal was with Hiro, it was obvious that Crew was happy. In my
mind that was the most important thing. After everything he's been through
for the past few years, he deserved some happiness.

Crew certainly looked happy as he chatted. He was gesturing wildly and must
have said something funny because Mrs. Chin suddenly bowled over bursting
with loud laughter. Skyler's mom had a laugh similar to his, loud and full
of life but a couple notches less obnoxious.

"Hey baby, what you thinking about?" Skyler said plopping beside me on the
couch, kind of sitting on my thigh, not that I minded.

"Just about Crew," I answered.

"Oh yeah, naughty thoughts? Should I be worried or excited?" Skyler asked
mischievously as he stuffed some potatoes into his mouth.

I grinned. "Perhaps both," I said and he nudged me slightly.

"I better be the only one to create naughty thoughts in your mind," Skyler
said chewing although he didn't look too bothered.

I smiled. Ever since I first got here and we had sex for the first time,
Skyler and I had been inseparable. I went to work with him, even though I
went snowboarding without him and then I would go home with him and spend
the night.

I loved it.

With each day I was becoming more attached and more in love. I was not
looking forward to leaving him at the end of break, but I forced myself to
not think about that stuff right now. This was a party and I didn't want to
bring myself into some sort of depressed funk.

"My mom totally loves you," Skyler broke in.

I looked at him and grinned. "Really?"

Skyler looked at me and nodded. "She said she was sick of me dating these
floozies and that I should have been gay a long time ago if it meant I
would have someone normal like you. And really hot."

I laughed out loud. "Your Mom thinks I'm hot?" I asked in amusement.

Skyler rolled his eyes. "She also mentioned that she wished I was a woman
because then she would have had the most adorable grandchildren."

I laughed again. That did sound like something Mrs. Chin would say.

"Come with me," Skyler said suddenly. He grabbed my hand and lifted me off
the couch.

"What, more food?" I asked seriously eyeing his already empty plate.

Shit, that boy could eat.

Skyler looked back at me and appeared to think it over. "Maybe later."

Still holding onto my hand he led me towards the stairs and together we
walked up to his room. His room was a mess; clothes, comics, CD's thrown
about everywhere. Skyler simply swept his arm across his bed to clear a
space and pushed me onto it.

I stared up at him in confusion as he went to his closet and started
digging around. He emerged seconds later with a wrapped box.

He handed it to me and I just looked at it blankly for a few seconds.

"It's your Christmas gift," Skyler explained. I wanted to give it to you
now. On Christmas Day, we don't usually do gifts, except for me and Storm
sometimes, but I wanted you to have this."

"Open it," he encouraged.

Smiling briefly at him I tore open the wrapping and opened the box. My eyes
met a really nice shiny silver ring.

I glanced back at Skyler questioningly.

Skyler looked at me head on. "I know we haven't known each other that long
or spent too much time together. I mean we only met last winter and sort of
had a long distance pseudo relationship and we're just hanging out now, but
I know what I feel." His large dark brown eyes bored into mine. "I love
you."

I was so stunned I couldn't react at first. Skyler just said he loved
me. Oh my god!

Skyler regarded me, eyeing my reaction. I think he was starting to get
impatient because I detected an eye roll coming.

"Really?" I finally breathed out.

Skyler laughed, still looking at me. "Yeah, really. I love you."

I started smiling like an idiot. "I love you, too!" I said eagerly.

Skyler smirked. "Well, of course." I nudged him playfully and Skyler
grabbed both of my wrists to pull me towards him. He wrapped his arms
around my back and leaned in to kiss me.

Our kiss deepened and I fell back against his bed with him falling on top
of me, never breaking the kiss. Skyler began to kiss my neck softly and I
moaned, turning my head to the side, giving him better access.

His hand snaked up my shirt and caressed my chest and it took me a moment
to realize we were at his mom's house which was full of people.

"Sky, we can't," I groaned out. "Your family."

"They can wait. They won't even miss us. Besides, they like Storm better,"
Skyler said between kisses.

"They're going to hear us either way, either now or later. We're staying
over remember?" Skyler said licking my collarbone.

That's right. Storm, Skyler, Crew, and I were all staying overnight to
spend Christmas day at the Chin residence. Hiro would be the only one
leaving tonight because of his grandmother.

"Oh fuck," I hissed when Skyler's hand reached into my pants and gripped me
tightly and he started moving slowly up and down my length.

Skyler never stopped applying kisses to my neck and lips. I was going into
sensory overload here.

"Ahem."

Skyler didn't seem to hear or care that someone else was in the room with
us, but I did. I didn't like to perform live sex shows unless I was getting
paid for it.

I pushed Skyler off of me with great difficulty since Skyler was reluctant
to stop mauling me.

I noticed Hiro and Crew standing in the doorway. Hiro was just smiling and
Crew was full blown grinning and snickering.

"Uh, Hiro just wanted to say bye before he left," Crew said in between
giggles.

I reached for a pillow and chucked it at them. "Didn't you ever hear of
knocking?" I asked.

"Yeah, or just slipping a good bye note under the door?" Skyler asked
grabbing my face with his hands to kiss me again.

I broke away again. "I'll see you Hiro, have a good Christmas," I said to
him.

Hiro nodded and smiled and called out, "Later Skyler." Skyler only lifted
his hand in response since his lips were once again on mine.

I heard the door shut quietly and we were once again alone.

Skyler was about to reach into my pants again but a loud knock came threw
the door.

"Crew!" he yelled in annoyance.

"Skyler, you and Zeke can do your stuff later on tonight. We have
guests. Get out now!" Mrs. Chin demanded.

Skyler sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. "I guess we have to go back."

I kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair. "Come on, let's go."

"Wait," he said and he grabbed my hand. He retrieved the ring and placed it
on my ring finger. He kissed my hand gently. I noticed that his hand also
had a silver ring on it.

"I love you," he said again.

"I love you, too."

***

"Skyler?" I called out as I searched his room. I heard some yelling and
weird noises further down the hall and I followed it.

 I walked in on Storm and Skyler fighting with the light sabers that Skyler
had bought for himself, Storm, Crew, and Hiro.

I never realized Skyler was such a Star Wars fan when he started handing
out the sabers this morning, but it turns out he really wasn't; he just
thought the sabers were, in his own words, "fucking awesome."

I thought he had only gotten me a ring for Christmas, but he said that
there was no way he could not have gotten me a saber. It would be denying
me the right to fight Jedi style and in Skyler's opinion that was just
wrong.

Right now I couldn't help smiling at the sight in front of me. The twins
had yet to take notice of me and Storm was wearing a pair of low slung
black sweats and Skyler was wearing black CK briefs.  I was definitely
enjoying the view, especially since the twins were in motion and I was
privy to their bare muscled torsos flexing with each movement.

Skyler had the red Darth Vader saber and Storm was wielding a green one,
for Yoda. They were jumping around Storm's large room, hopping onto the bed
to avoid being hit, and every time their sabers connected with one
another's, there was this accompanying sound that came from the movie.

Skyler lost his balance and fell off of Storm's bed and landed on his
back. He immediately started laughing so hard that he had trouble standing
up and finally he decided to just do a backwards roll onto his feet.

Storm jumped off the bed and held the saber towards Skyler's neck.

Skyler bowed his head in defeat. "Good one bro," he said solemnly but then
he burst out laughing, sounding like he was half cackling, and half
choking.

"Oh hey Zeke," Storm said as he was facing me.

Skyler spun around and looked at me. "Hey Zeke," he said dropping his saber
to his side.

I stared at his toned chest, down his ripped abs, and his package, the
outline was slightly visible through the tight fabric of his briefs.

I think I was beginning to drool and my pants were becoming a little tight.

"Eww, Zeke, are you checking out my brother?" Storm asked in mock disgust.

Skyler grinned. "I think he is," he said moving closer to me and laughing
as I blushed. He hugged me to his body and I felt the heat and slight sweat
of his body.

"Come on, let's get your saber and go find Crew," Skyler said tugging me
out of Storm's room. "We should strap on our rollerblades and go saber
fighting down the street," he called out into Storm's room.

"Ok," Storm said excitedly poking his head out the room.

I smiled. Storm always gave the impression of being collected, mature, and
reserved, but when he was alone with his brother or close friends, he was
just as immature as Skyler was.

We found Crew drinking some water in the kitchen and talking to the twin's
Mom and we dragged him upstairs to get his saber.

Since Crew and I didn't have any rollerblades with us, Skyler and Storm
gave us theirs and they used their own skateboards. It was cold outside so
we bundled up with sweatshirt hoodies underneath our winter coats and went
outside.

It was early evening and it was getting darker outside. Luckily the street
where the twins lived on was well lit so we wouldn't be in any danger of
getting hit.

We rolled along the streets, laughing and cracking up as Crew and I bladed
around quickly, chasing one another as we fought, our neon colored sabers
shining brightly in the night. Skyler and Storm were both skateboarding and
doing random tricks and jumps at the same time while trying to fight. It
was a hilarious view.

A couple times Skyler fell, but in true Skyler fashion, he laughed it off
and got back on again. I smiled. I loved that about Skyler; that he took
things in stride and always found a way to have a good time in almost any
situation. I thought it was a rather good skill or quality to have.

Occasionally a car would pass us once in awhile. It would slow down
considerably and the passenger's faces would be turned in our direction,
yielding awed and confused expressions.

We all just shouted "Merry Christmas" and waved our arms rapidly. Most of
the people in the cars would smile, shake their heads, and drive off.

I think this was the best Christmas I ever had.

I spent time with a loving family, even if they weren't my actual family.

My boyfriend told me he loved me.

This was definitely the best Christmas ever.


(Helaku's point of view)

***

I felt myself being nudged but I ignored it.

When I felt a poke I slapped the hand away and turned away grumbling.

I felt soft kisses at the nape of my neck and I sighed.

"Bryce," I groaned. "I'm tired."

We had each spent Christmas with our own families but late last night,
after all the holiday festivities were coming to an end as Christmas Day
was almost over, I had gone over to Bryce's house to spend some quality
time together. We had definitely spent some major quality time together.

Bryce had proclaimed that I was the best gift he had ever received and even
though I laughed at the cheesiness of his statement, I was very pleased.

"Time to wake up baby," Bryce whispered pressing his body up against me and
wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Tired. Just stay here with me," I mumbled.

"Wake up," Bryce said again rubbing his hand across my chest. "Wake up,
wake up, wake up," he said planting kisses on my shoulder blades.

"I made you breakfast," Bryce cooed into my ear.

I grunted in response and dug my head deeper into my pillow.

"I have lots and lots of food. Enough food to feed a big strong man like
you," Bryce whispered reaching further down and gripping me tightly.

I moaned. He stroked me slowly as he continued kissing my shoulders and
neck.

I started wiggling around and thrusting into his hand as he stroked me.

I gave a little cry as I came, spurting into his hand and the sheets. I
breathed heavily and laid on my back, my eyes wide open.

"Glad you're up baby," he said. Bryce grinned at me and kissed my cheek
before heading out of the room.

I forced myself to sit up and I grabbed my discarded clothing and headed
into the bathroom to wash up.

I took a fast warm shower not wanting to let breakfast get cold and anxious
to get out to Bryce.

I hopped out and patted my skin with a towel and threw on my boxers and
jeans and a navy blue and green striped sweater from Abercrombie.

I was about to walk out of his bedroom and into the kitchen when I heard a
voice that wasn't Bryce's.

"Listen, I don't want to do this," Bryce said.

My brow knitted. What didn't he want to do?

"Bryce you have to do it, I already set it up," a deep stern voice said.

"Dad!" Bryce exclaimed. "How can you decide something without asking
first?"

"I did it because it is in your best interest and you should be happy. You
haven't been in a date since, I don't even remember when. This girl is
perfect for you!"

I frowned. Girl? Bryce hadn't told his father he was gay? Now that I
thought about it didn't recall him mentioning anything about coming out to
his Dad. I guess I just assumed that at this age, he would have done it by
now.

"I don't want to go out with her!" Bryce said, slightly angry.

"Why not? Give me one good reason," his father demanded sounding angry
himself.

"Because, because, because I just don't want to," Bryce sputtered.

"That's not a good enough reason!" his father scoffed.

"Dad!"

"Grow up Bryce. It's time to take the next step in your life. You'll be
twenty seven soon and don't you think it's time to start dating, settle
down, and start a family?"

"I didn't know you planned my life. Mind if I check the schedule?" Bryce
said sarcastically.

"Bryce Whitman, I have already told the young lady you will be picking her
up tonight at 7pm sharp. Do not disappoint me!"

Then I heard the door slam and I cringed.

I crept into the kitchen and took a peek at Bryce who had his hands on his
hips and he was breathing hard. His face was red and he was frowning.

He looked at me and his expression changed. He looked worried, concerned,
embarrassed.

"Are you ok?" I asked cautiously.

Bryce sighed. "Just the same old shit with my old man."

"You didn't tell you Dad you were gay?" I asked.

Bryce sat in a chair. "No, I didn't. I guess I'm too afraid and I'm almost
positive I'll know how he will react; and that is definitely not well."

"So what are you going to do then?" I asked.

Bryce avoided my stare.

"Are you going on that date?" I demanded.

Bryce glanced at me and then looked away.

My mouth dropped open. "You have to be kidding Bryce. You have to tell your
Dad the truth. You shouldn't have to be forced on dates because your Dad
set it up for you!"

"I know," Bryce said in frustration.

"Well if you know why don't you do something about it?" I asked.

"It's not that easy!"

"I think it is that easy!" I shot back.

"My Dad won't be as understanding as yours!" Bryce yelled.

"I understand that, but come on! It's your life! You have to start living
it for yourself! You're always telling me how overbearing your Dad is. I
think you would be much happier if you didn't do every little thing he
said."

"You want me to just cut off my Dad?" Bryce asked angrily.

"No," I started to say.

"I can't just do that no matter how much my Dad pisses me off. He's my Dad!
He's my only family!"

"So what am I supposed to do? Just stand around and wait for you to get
home from all your future dates? Am I supposed to be on call when your
future wife won't put out or if you need a babysitter for the 2.5 kids
you're going to have, huh Bryce?" I sneered.

"Helaku! I don't need this right now," Bryce burst out standing up
suddenly.

"Fine," I replied evenly. "Have fun on your date." I turned around and
headed to the front door.

"Helaku, please be patient. I just need more time to tell my Dad," Bryce
pleaded jumping in front of me.

"I don't want you to go on that date tonight," I said.

"What difference does it make? Nothing will happen, I'm gay," Bryce said a
little impatiently.

"Anything can happen, even with a gay guy and a woman. Don't have drinks
with dinner," I advised.

"Yeah, you should know," Bryce muttered. When my eyes snapped to his Bryce
swallowed hard and suddenly looked regretful.

I stopped in my tracks. "What did you say?" I asked leaning in closer to
him.

"Nothing," he said a little too quickly.

"No, tell me," I said my mouth in firm line.

"Helaku, I don't want to fight," Bryce said holding up his hands.

"Too late, now what did you say!" I yelled.

"Well don't worry about me cheating on you with a woman. You're the one
that cheats and runs to alcohol every time something goes wrong!" Bryce
yelled back.

I gasped and took a step away from him. I was literally speechless.

Bryce was just staring at me and then all the color began to drain from his
face.

"You really think that about me?" I asked quietly. "That I'm just a drunken
cheater and I'll betray you the first chance I get?"

Bryce looked like he didn't know what to say.

"Thanks a lot," I said feeling more sad than angry. "I thought you said you
trusted me and gave me more credit than that. I guess that just makes you a
liar."

"Helaku, I didn't mean it, I just got angry," Bryce tried to explain.

"Save it, I'm leaving," I said resuming my walk to the door. "According to
you I should be popping back shots right about now."

"No! Don't drink!" Bryce said grabbing my arm.

"What do you care?" I asked ripping my arm from his grip. "Have fun on your
date," I said sarcastically, emphasizing the word date.

"Helaku!" Bryce called out after me.

"I'm sorry, I just can't tell my Dad right now," Bryce said running up to
me before I got to the door.

"You're a coward," I said. "Coming out is hard, I get it. It's not like I
knew how my Dad would take it but I did it anyway because I had to for
me. If he did disown me or kick me out I would have found a way to
survive. And even without my Dad, I would have at least been happy with
being true to myself and the people around me."

"I get it, ok?" Bryce hissed. "I'm a loser, a coward; I'm not good enough
for you."

"I never said that," I shot back narrowing my eyes.

"You may as well have. You obviously look down on me for not coming out to
my Dad," Bryce said.

"No, I was just advising you to do something for yourself," I argued.

"Look, I'll tell him when I'm ready," Bryce snapped glaring at me.

"Fine," I snapped back. "Just don't expect me to sit around and wait while
you go off with some stupid girl."

I stalked out of the house and headed towards my car.

"Yeah and you have fun with your best friend, a bottle of vodka and the
next trick you pick up," Bryce snarled at me.

I gave him the finger and hopped into my car. I glanced over at Bryce's
condo one last time and saw Bryce was still in the doorway. From where I
was I couldn't really read his expression so I just turned away and drove
out of his parking lot.

I sped down the streets, and raced to a light and as it turned red I jammed
on my breaks attracting stares. I shot everyone dirty looks and fumed
silently.

I did have a sudden urge to drink.

The light turned green and I wasn't sure where to go. Should I go home and
sleep it off or to the drugstore and buy some hard liquor and then drink at
home.

But I didn't really feel like drinking. I didn't want to break my promise
to myself.

Damn it!

I slammed the steering wheel and honked the horn twice by accident.

I waved my hand in apology and whipped out my cell phone.

"Can you meet me for lunch?" I asked.

***

I waited at my table and sipped on my water.

Yeah, that's right water. No alcohol, just water. I was gonna drink like a
fish, and piss an ocean of water later.

Hooray!

I saw a tall man walk in the door in a nice navy blue suit. His bright
powder blue eyes looked around the restaurant and when they landed on me
recognition flashed across them and he made his way over to me.

"Thanks for coming," I mumbled as he sat down.

"Is everything all right? You sounded a little upset on the phone," my
father said with concern in his eyes. "Did something happen at work?"

I rolled my eyes and slumped in my seat. "Contrary to your beliefs, my life
doesn't revolve around my job, Dad. I do have other things outside of that
could disrupt my life," I said in a childish tone.

My father frowned and looked at me carefully. "Then why don't you tell me
what's wrong instead of acting like you're twelve," he said in an even
tone.

I sighed and forced myself to sit up in my chair as I told my Dad all about
Crew and how we had been dating for about four months before we had a
fight, broke up, and then I cheated on him after hitting up a bar. My Dad
frowned when I mentioned the bar and drinking and sleeping with a random
guy.

My Dad always worried about me having safe sex and wanted to make sure I
didn't contract anything. It's not like straight couples were disease free
but I didn't want to piss my Dad off by saying that.

Then I explained how I had met Bryce at the advertising agency and we
didn't get along at first and then I came out to him by accident and he
came to apologize. Then we became friends and then boyfriends when Bryce
said he had a crush on me. I omitted the part where I made out with Bryce
after sketching him nude. No need to completely disgust my Dad.

When I finished talking I watched as my Dad just sat across from me,
looking as if he were thinking things over.

"Well?" I asked impatiently.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked carefully.

I sighed. "I don't know. Just say something, tell me what to do, tell me
what an idiot I am, what a fuck up I am."

"You really think I would say those things to you?" my Dad asked cocking
his head at me.

"Well you never hesitated to in the past," I grumbled resentfully.

My Dad just stared at me. I stared back at him. I took in his pale skin
with a sprinkle of freckles, full head of thick brown hair, pale blue eyes,
and all his traditional Irish qualities.

After awhile his stern expression began to make me nervous.

Suddenly he leaned forward and looked at me, his expression visibly softer.

"Listen Helaku, I know our relationship hasn't been, and still isn't as
strong as it should be," he began, pausing to collect his thoughts. "But
you have to understand why I was so hard on you as a kid. I only wanted the
best for you and I know all parents say that but I really did. I won't be
around forever Helaku and although money flowed freely for you as a child,
I wanted to make sure you knew how to work hard and make something of
yourself; to be able to support yourself.

I opened my mouth to respond but he just continued ahead.

"That's why I was so annoyed with you for getting that bartending job," he
went on.

"Dad," I tried to interrupt.

"And my reaction to your coming out to me could have been more
supportive. I get that, but you have to understand where I was coming from,
as a parent Helaku. I wasn't ashamed or embarrassed of you for being gay, I
still love you, you're still my son and always will be and I will always be
here when you need me. It's just that I didn't want you to only be known as
gay. To have no other qualities than just being gay or have things handed
or taken away because of that. I advised you to keep your sexuality to
yourself not to hide it but because people out there are just so
judgmental. Even if they pretend to be ok with it they're really not and
then they turn on you the first chance they get."

"I want you to be known for your achievements and abilities. They have to
define who you are, not just your sexuality. When I think of you as my son,
I don't think of you as being gay, but I think of you as stubborn,
headstrong, hardworking, smart, and kind, and the greatest son I could ask
for."

"Even though you get on my nerves with your `whatever' attitude, I admire
you Helaku. You do what you want and when you say something you make it
happen. When you told me you were going to graduate in three years so you
could have a free year to explore what you wanted to do I didn't believe
you. I figured once you got a taste of college life you would be like
everyone else; partying and drinking, but you proved me wrong. You did it
and you did it well. I have never been more proud."

I didn't know what to say. I just gawked at my Dad. He was proud of me? For
graduating early so I could bartend? No fucking shit.

"For real?" I asked in amazement.

My Dad chuckled. Jesus, my Dad knew how to chuckle. "Yes for real."

"And when you wanted to bartend and I was against it, you did it anyway
because it's what you wanted to do. You were always true to yourself and
did what you felt was right and you were unwilling to compromise when it
came to your happiness. I never had that. I did what my parents asked
because the pressure got to me, but not you. You're so much
stronger. You're just like your mother."

As soon as my Dad mentioned my mother we both fell silent.

"When your mother died Helaku, I don't know," my Dad said shaking his head,
"I apologize for being so distant and not being around. I didn't know how
to handle it and I threw myself into my work and forced you to work too,
without letting you heal and grieve properly. I mean you were a child and I
wasn't even there for you, but I didn't know how to deal with it
myself. Your mother took care of me and you, she did everything and without
her I was lost," he said wistfully. I saw the pain written on his face even
though my mother had died twelve years ago.

"And you reminded me so much of her. Your fiery and wild nature, you're
abhorrence of rules. You were my kid and I abandoned you and I became this
distant Dad who put all this pressure on you. I was never there for you. I
truly regret that now and I hope you can forgive me," he said pleading.

I nodded without saying a word. I was still in shock.

"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is this," my Dad said clearing his throat
and his face becoming neutral again. "You're smart and you know what you
want. I could see that in you from way back. So I bet you know what to do
with Bryce and you know how you feel, but you have trouble seeing it
because you're not letting yourself. You're afraid to take that step."

"Wow, Dad," was all I muster.

"Is this Bryce a good guy?" he asked.

"The best," I said still not believing I was having this conversation with
my Dad.

"Do you love him?"

I paused and stirred my straw in my cup. I looked up into my Dad's
inquiring eyes.

"It doesn't matter. I don't think we're going to work out. He's not even
out to his Dad," I said becoming pissy again.

"Well maybe he's not ready to tell him," my Dad answered reasonably.

"Yeah well he's going out on dates with girls!"

My Dad raised his eyebrows and smiled in amusement. "Are you sure he's
really gay then?"

I shot my Dad a glare. "He is gay Dad, trust me. He's just going out with
this woman because his Dad set it up without asking and he's too scared to
tell his Dad the truth."

"I mean, it's not fair to me either. I shouldn't have to sit around while
he dates girls. I just can't do that," I said firmly.

My Dad nodded in agreement. "You're right. It's not fair to you. But what
do you plan on doing then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to break things off with him then?"

I didn't answer right away. I didn't want to break up with Bryce. I wanted
to be with him.

"I guess I have to," I said sadly. "Dad, I think I'm destined to be alone."

My Dad looked at me sympathetically. "I don't believe that and I don't
think you really do either."

"Well everything is so messed up. This is my second real relationship and
it's going down the toilet!" I exclaimed.

My Dad laughed again. "Listen Helaku, nothing is easy, you of all people
should know that and there are so many things in life that isn't fair. We
both know that," he said referring to my mother. "But life is what it is
and you just have to figure out how to deal with it as best as you can. I
can tell you care for Bryce but you have to look out for yourself ok? Just
remember that. And whatever happens, I'll be there and you can talk to me
whenever."

"Dad, can I move back in with you?" I whined. "I'm gonna die alone
otherwise."

My Dad let out a hearty laugh. "Well you're all grown up now and have been
living on your own for a whole year now or actually even before then when
you went off to those dorms. But you're welcome to stay with me for a few
days if you need to. Actually I've been meaning to talk to you about
something," he said avoiding my eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"I, uh, I um met someone," my father said nervously.

I smiled. "Someone?" I teased. Ever since my Dad had broken off the
engagement with his pervious fiancé, I think her name was Sheila he hadn't
been with anyone else but his work. Hearing he had met someone else so soon
was kind of startling.

He smiled. "Yeah, she's a partner at the firm. I always thought she was
attractive, but I never made a move. She's just so intelligent and smart
and she doesn't let people push her at all. I mean some guy made a sexist
comment and she went off on him; but not yelling, but in a calm voice. She
just seemed so powerful and confident. So I asked her to dinner one night
and we've been together ever since."

The fact that this woman was a partner at his firm was a good sign to me
already. Sheila had been some spoiled, stupid thing and I didn't care for
her one bit. Perhaps this woman would be a better fit for my father.

"How long ago was this?" I asked curiously.

"Only about a month ago, although we've been friends for awhile. I was
going to tell you sooner, but."

"I know you got sidetracked. I understand Dad. It's the workaholic in you."

He smiled at me. "I really would like you to meet her. Maybe we can all
have dinner back at the house? Is that ok with you?"

I smiled. I couldn't believe my Dad was asking if I was alright with him
meeting someone. I was happy for him. I couldn't remember my Dad ever doing
anything fun, or smiling as much as I had seen him over lunch. He needed to
have a life again and not let my mother's death haunt him into a lonely
existence.

"I would love to," I said sincerely.

"Great," my Dad said beaming and his eyes lit up.

"She wouldn't happen to have a gay son, nephew, or cousin would she?" I
joked.

He chucked his napkin at me and waved his hand to flag down a waiter.

For once my Dad actually made me feel better.

This day wasn't so bad after all.

***

(Crew's point of view)


"You beat me," I whined as Hiro sailed right past me at the end of the
trail.

Hiro turned to me and just smiled. "Sorry, I'll try not to next time."

I folded my arms and pretended to look mad. Hiro walked over to me and put
his arm around my shoulders. "It's ok Crew. You're still number one in my
mind," he offered whispering in my ear.

I looked at him and our faces were so close together that our noses were
practically touching. His narrow eyes seemed to be staring directly into
mine.

"Hey lovebirds, let's go again!" Zeke called out to us and Hiro patted my
lower back, following the rest of the group.

I watched as Storm, Skyler, and Zeke squeezed into a lift chair and Hiro
and I waited for the next one to come.

I noticed that Skyler and Zeke were more touchy feely these days and I
reminded myself to ask Zeke about it. Once of these days he and I were
gonna have to have a sleepover or something. He was supposed to be visiting
me for winter break but I haven't been seeing much of him. Not that I was
complaining, I was happy for Zeke and Skyler and I was perfectly content
spending my time with Hiro who didn't appear to be sick of my face yet.

As Hiro and I got off the lift and prepared to board down, I couldn't help
admire Hiro's lean back as he maneuvered to the edge. Hiro was just so good
at everything. He was one of those people you'd hate because they would try
something for the first time and be so damned good at it. Granted he used
to be on a snowboarding team and knew how to be super fast and have awesome
strategies, but still.

"Ready?" he called out to me and I nodded. He took off with me behind him.

Hiro's moves were small and tight, he didn't expend any unnecessary energy
or movements. He knew how to manipulate the mountain and conform his body
to the trail; so that when other snowboarders came out wide through a turn,
he hugged the curve and ended up further ahead.

I was stunned. His technique was just amazing. I swear Hiro would never
cease amazing me.

The other day when Zeke and Skyler were off again doing their own thing,
Hiro suggested trying something new with me. So he went to his closet and
whipped out a bow and some arrows.

I remember taking a step back and feeling surprised.

"Is that a magical closet?" I asked amused. "I always wanted a pony. Can
you get one for me?"

Hiro just smiled and walked over to me. "I used to do some archery. It was
fun, now come with me." And he led me to his backyard which had a bunch of
trees and I spotted one tree which had a dart board style target on it.

"Come on, I'll show you," he offered motioning for me to come closer.

He handed me the bow and arrow and I just held it awkwardly, staring down
at it.

Hiro chuckled. "Crew, hold it like this," he said taking my arms and
placing my hands in the correct position.

"Now pull back like this,'' he instructed once the arrow was in place.

I had trouble focusing despite his instructions. His hand was on my arm
making it tingle and his body was so close to me I could feel the heat
coming from him.

"Now look at the center target and don't break eye contact with it. Just
keep looking and imagine your arrow hitting it. The arrow will go where
your eyes are."

I stared at the center and never wavered.

"Keep your elbow level, don't raise it too high, it will throw your arrow
off course," he said.

His other hand that wasn't on my arm slowly came around my waist, resting
lightly there.

I froze.

"Focus," Hiro whispered, his breath washing over my ear.

I'm trying!

"Now shoot," he said. I let go and watched as the arrow sailed into the air
and hit the next oval after the middle target.

I felt lips on my neck briefly; the touch was so soft and light I wasn't
sure if it really happened at all.

I turned to Hiro and stared at him questioningly. He just stared back at
me, not saying anything, his expression not giving anything away.

I frowned slightly. I didn't know if I had imagined that he kissed my neck
and I didn't want to say anything in case I ended up looking like an idiot.

"Good job for an amateur," he said breaking out into a small smile.

"Thanks," I said, my expression still puzzled.

"Let's try it again," Hiro suggested standing behind me again.

Yes, please do. My neck was burning on the spot that Hiro had supposedly
kissed me on.

I wish he would kiss me for real.

Oh crap!

I felt my board begin to slide around as I somehow lost control. I tried to
maintain my balance but inevitably I fell over, crashing onto my butt. The
board scraped the snow and I slid a couple feet forward but managed to stay
stationary after that point.

"Wipe out!"

I looked to the voice and spotted Brian, a guy who worked at the mountain
with me and the twins. He grinned at me as he passed.

I smiled at him and pushed myself to my feet. I had to focus otherwise I'd
come home with a discolored body. I didn't think purple and blue went well
with my skin tone.

"Hey man, heard you fell on your ass," Skyler hollered when I made it down.

I rolled my eyes at him and noticed Zeke hugging Skyler. Wow, in public.

"Lunch break?" I asked Hiro. He nodded.

We all headed into the lodge where all the food places were.

Skyler and Zeke of course rushed to get on line while Hiro and I kind of
lagged behind.

"Hey over break, do you want to go to New York City? Have you ever been
there before?" I suddenly asked as the idea popped into my head.

Hiro shook his head. "No, it was too far for me to go and besides me
grandparents were against it."

"Why?" I asked incredulously.

Hiro shrugged. "They thought it was too dangerous for me or anyone else for
that matter."

I smiled in amusement. "You? Aren't you the Kendo Master extraordinaire?" I
said in a mocking tone.

Hiro laughed. "I can't fight for shit without a weapon. Otherwise I just
stand there like an idiot."

For some reason I didn't believe that. Hiro was just being modest again.

"So if I got attacked you wouldn't come to my rescue? You won't be my white
knight in shining armor?" I said batting my eyes.

Hiro grinned. "I'll just run into a store and borrow a broom and then I'll
be good to go."

I laughed.

"You've been to New York then?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Tons of times."

"Who protects you then?" Hiro asked in a teasing tone.

I smiled. "I usually go with Storm and Skyler and no one ever messes with
us or more specifically them. Just because they're Asian everyone assumes
they know like ten forms of martial arts. When in reality, the closest
Skyler's ever come to doing karate was when he cut a cake in half with his
hand."

Hiro snorted.

"They're like my personal ass kicking team. I make sure to always be in the
middle, where it's nice and safe."

After Hiro and I got out food, we joined the group at a table.

I noticed Zeke pop a chicken finger into Skyler's mouth and I raised my
eyebrows.

"You guys look cozy," I commented.

Zeke looked up and Skyler just shrugged and continued eating.

I looked at Zeke curiously who only smiled. "We are cozy," Zeke said
without elaborating anymore. I made a mental note to beat the information
out of him later.

"No shit," Storm muttered. I turned to look at him and silently
communicated for him to go on. "I swear I'm going to need a new place to
stay soon due to my lack of sleep into the wee hours of the morning."

Zeke coughed and Skyler actually looked a little embarrassed for once in
his life.

"They go at it all night long," Storm clarified. Skyler shot his brother a
nasty look but didn't say anything more.

My jaw dropped. "You guys are having sex?" I asked. I figured they had been
fooling around since I had seen Skyler's hand shoved down Zeke's pants at
the Christmas party, but I didn't know they were actually having sex. Zeke
and Skyler had been surprisingly tight lipped about their relationship. I
think it had something to do with Zeke's superstitious nature and not
wanting to jinx anything.

Zeke blushed, Skyler continued eating without a care in the world, Hiro
looked amused and Storm just looked annoyed.

"Zeke! I can't believe you never told me. What happened to us being
girlfriends?" I asked poking him in the ribs and grinning. "My little Zeke
is all grown up."

"Shut up," Zeke muttered blushing profusely, his ears turning red.

"Who bottoms and who tops?" Storm asked suddenly. He was grinning and
seemed to be enjoying teasing his brother.

"Storm, don't be jealous because I'm the only one in the house getting
any," Skyler said slyly and he reached over and took Zeke's hand.

"Hey!" Storm said.

"Are you guys officially a couple then?" Hiro asked smoothly, deflecting a
potential argument.

"Yeah," Skyler said wrapping his arm around Zeke possessively and I had
never seen Zeke look so pleased before.

"So my twin who potentially has gay tendencies as well, keep your hands
off," Skyler teased Storm.

Storm rolled his eyes and didn't say anything else.

I smiled at Zeke who was avoiding my eyes. "You guys are so cute," I said.

"I know," Skyler said immediately.

"I'm still hungry," Zeke popped in.

"Here have this," Skyler said handing Zeke his almost full container of
fries. "I'll get some more," Skyler said standing up and heading back on
line.

Storm and I just stared at Skyler as he walked away and then back to Zeke
who was happily munching on fries.

"What?" he asked when he noticed all of us looking at him.

"Did you realize what just happened?" Storm asked Zeke in a very serious
voice.

Zeke looked confused and looked at me to explain.

"Skyler gave you his food," I said. "He loves food more than life and he
just gave it to you."

Zeke blushed. "Oh."

"He would let me drown in a pool as long as he got his hamburgers first,
but he handed you his fries just like that," I said snapping my fingers.

Storm and I just continued to look at Zeke in awe.

Skyler plopped back down in his chair with more fries and some chicken
fingers.

We all turned our attention to him in wonder.

"What are you fuckers staring at?" he asked grinning, flashing us a
mouthful of mashed up potatoes.

Hiro grimaced.

Storm groaned and looked away.

I just smiled.

***

(Bryce's point of view)


"Helaku, where the hell have you been?" I demanded when I managed to corner
him in the office Tuesday.

I had had my date with Savanna Saturday night and although she appeared to
be having a good time, I most certainly was not. I couldn't keep my mind
off of Helaku and his face when I said all those terrible things to him
which I really didn't mean. And all I wanted to do was just find him and
talk to him.

Instead I was stuck with Savanna who overall was a very nice and
intelligent woman. It's just that I wasn't interested in her or any other
woman for that matter. She chatted away and carried on most of the
conversation and I input as minimally as possible and just nodded my head
once in awhile. She seemed satisfied with that.

I studied Savanna and her long blond hair and bright blue eyes and she wore
just enough makeup to bring out her features but not so much where she
looked like a clown. To others we must have made the most perfect couple,
but someone like Savanna should have no problem finding a blond male who
was not gay and in love with another man.

I was the perfect gentleman and date. I opened her door, pulled out her
chair, paid the bill, brought flowers and gave her a quick chaste peck on
the cheek when I dropped her off at home. I politely declined her when she
invited me inside. A look of disappointment flashed across her attractive
features, but she smiled and said "I had a wonderful time. Maybe we can do
it again some time."

I froze and didn't know what to do.

So I pasted on a smile and croaked "Sure," and then left quickly.

Shit, shit, shit, what a mess I was in. What was I going to do? I didn't
want to hurt Savanna, I didn't want to disappoint my Dad and I most
definitely did not want to lose Helaku. I had a lot of thinking to do.

I came home that Saturday evening and just moped around, mostly feeling
sorry for myself and my situation.

I should come out to my Dad, I was almost 27 and my life should be mine by
now. He no longer had any control over me; I was an adult, I paid for my
own stuff, I had a job and I didn't depend on him for financial support, so
what was there to lose?

I cringed. Well, losing my Dad was pretty crappy. But then again he hasn't
really been that much of a Dad. Nannies took care of me for as long as I
can remember when my Mom left and I only saw my Dad on rare occasions when
he wanted to tell me to do something, like this morning for example.

I groaned. And Helaku, I really did love him. Ever since I first saw him
walk into the office. I was looking over some paperwork with a bunch of
other workers, and he came in wearing a navy blue suit which his tall and
broad shouldered body filled out to perfection and his green and blue
striped tie made me notice his bright green eyes. He had such an exotic
quality, short dark hair, long distinguished nose, and a large inviting
smile that seemed adorable with the tiny gap between his teeth.

He just walked right into the group and introduced himself, without any
fear or worry. He just exuded pure confidence. I could tell everyone was
immediately taken with him, as was I, in a different way of course. When he
got to me, I just nodded and shook his hand and then turned away. I didn't
want to lust after some straight guy. He could destroy me, out me, the
possibilities were endless.

So I did what any immature idiot would do; I made fun of him, acted like a
jerk whenever I could. It was a way for me to stay away but also be near
him and spend time with him. I could tell he was annoyed with me but I even
enjoyed his annoyed looks, because he was just so beautiful.

When he told me he was gay, by accident of course, I was shocked and happy,
but Helaku had mistaken my shock for something else and ran. I felt
terrible for making him feel badly or worried and I knew I had to try and
make things right. I finished my work day which was agony and then I went
to his Uncle and made up some excuse how Helaku was sick and that I wanted
his address to check up on him. That was no problem.

Breaking through Helaku's defenses were a problem. I had to practically gag
and tie him to get him to dinner with me and even then it was
strained. However, gradually, we became closer, like friends. We ate
lunches together, worked on projects and presentations, had dinners, played
basketball, had long talks. He was really my best friend and I realized I
really did love Helaku and not only for his looks.

It took me months to make a move because I didn't know if he was still hung
up on his ex, but one night I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't know
where I got the balls to strip right in front of him and ask him to sketch
me nude, but I just wanted him so badly that I was willing to do anything.

Then we began dating and things were perfect until my Dad came along and
screwed everything up.

My fucking Dad. He just loves to ruin my life.

Well I let him ruin my life.

I grabbed my hair with my hands and let out a large sigh.

Why me?

"Did you follow me into the bathroom?" Helaku shot back when he turned the
corner and spotted me.

"Well, you've been ignoring me and I couldn't just burst out talking about
our personal lives in front of everyone," I said folding my arms.

Hela rolled his eyes and washed his hands. He grabbed a paper towel and was
about to walk out the door when I grabbed him and spun him around.

"You weren't in work yesterday. I called your house and cell all weekend
but you never picked up. Are you ok?" I asked.

He looked annoyed and wrenched his arm from my grip. "I'm fine. What do you
care anyway?"

I took a step back, hurt. "Of course I care Helaku."

"I just took a day off, alright?"

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"I needed some time to relax and stuff," he answered vaguely.

"Where were you?" I asked suspiciously.

Helaku gave me a pointed look. "I didn't pick up some trick at a bar, if
that's what you're thinking."

I looked away guiltily.

"After our fight I had lunch with my Dad and then I stayed over at his
house for the rest of the weekend and into Monday. I just didn't feel like
going to work."

"You mean you didn't feel like seeing me," I said, pain spreading into my
gut.

Helaku stared at me. "Why were you looking for me anyway?"

"I needed to see you, that's all."

"Why? Did you need me for a booty call? Did you date not put out?" he asked
sarcastically reaching for the door again.

I slammed it shut with my foot, surprising even Helaku. "Nothing happened!
And the date was terrible because the entire time she was talking I was
thinking of you and our fight!"

Helaku sighed. "Listen, we should get back to work."

"No, I want to talk," I insisted.

"This isn't a good time."

"Then have dinner with me?" I asked.

"No," Helaku said firmly.

"Why not?"

"Because this isn't going to work out," Helaku burst out.

I stepped back and looked at him head on. "What do you mean?"

"This can't work Bryce. I can't do this and it isn't fair to me you know,"
he said glancing at me. "I can't just sit by and be the secret scandal in
your life while you try to pretend to be straight. It's too much for me to
handle. Maybe it's selfish on my part, but I want you all to myself."

"So you want to end it with me?" I asked swallowing hard.

Helaku rubbed his forehead and looked at the floor sighing. "As for the
relationship, I guess so, but I really do care about you Bryce and I love
spending time with you. Maybe eventually we can be friends?"

I had to fight the urge to cry or shout or something.

"I can't just be friends with you," I said evenly.

"Well, then I guess we'll have to figure something else out. I have no idea
what to do," Helaku said in a resigned tone.

"What if I told my Dad?" I asked grasping for straws at this point.

Helaku looked at me sadly. "You were right Bryce. You should do it when
you're ready. No one should force you to do something you're not willing to
do. I don't want to pressure you or be the reason for the falling out with
your Dad. I'm just saying I can't be there in the process, ok? It hurts
that you would go on a date with someone else and possibly more dates in
the future. I can't just be ok with that. I'm sorry."

I hung my head. "I know."

"You're a great person Bryce and you'll never know how much you've helped
me with everything in my life. You're the reason things have turned out ok
for me when I would have been feeling depressed and done god knows
what. And I've enjoyed all the time we spent together. You were my best
friend."

"This sounds like a goodbye," I said a hard lump forming in my throat.

"No," Helaku said smiling weakly. "I'll always see you at work." With that
he opened the door and left.

I no longer had the energy to stop him. I felt weak and tired all of a
sudden and I just wanted to crawl into bed.

***

"You don't look well Bryce, are you ok?" Savanna asked with concern. She
placed her hand on my forehead and felt my temperature.

I knew for a fact that nothing was wrong with me although I looked like
shit. My eyes had dark circles underneath it, my skin was a shade paler,
and my posture was slumped over.

My Dad shot me disapproving glances over the dinner table, but I ignored
him.

I was feeling shitty, I had seen Helaku all week at work but we no longer
spoke, at all. We didn't have lunch together and even though we still
worked together on projects, the conversations were fake and strained. It
was hard seeing him but knowing he wasn't mine anymore. It physically hurt
me and it was even worse when I knew that the reason we weren't together
anymore was because of me and my cowardice.

I was even more bitter because earlier in the day I had seen Helaku talking
with a new coworker at the agency and he was smiling and laughing with
him. I didn't know if the new guy was gay or not but I still didn't like
him pawing Helaku like that.

Friday night dinner. Someone fucking shoot me please.

I stared at my father and stepmother who I barely knew and had effectively
avoided all these years. They were married but obviously weren't
happy. They barely saw each other and were only married by title. I didn't
need to be married or have kids to be happy. All I needed was Helaku and we
didn't even have to do anything special to be happy; we were just happy
being together and to me that was priceless.

I shook my head. I couldn't believe I was willing to give him up for my Dad
who was looking down on me at dinner at this moment because I was making a
bad impression on him to Savanna and my so called mother.

Well, fuck him.

I sat up straighter. Go time!

"I'm gay."

Silence.

Savanna looked shocked, my step mother looked disgusted, and my father just
looked stoic.

He cleared his throat. "What did you say?"

"I'm gay Dad," I repeated.

"That is not funny, Bryce," he said sternly.

"I'm not joking," I said raising my voice. "I'm gay."

"Stop saying that!" my Dad snapped.

"I'm gay Dad and when you came over last Saturday and forced me to have
dinner with Savanna I was with my lover. He was in my bedroom," I shot
back.

My Dad looked appalled and Savanna looked, I don't know, oddly calm.

"You're a fag?" my father said his voice laced with contempt.

I winced but then mentally told myself I could do this.

"I am a homosexual, I like other guys, I am gay, but I am not a fag. That
implies something negative and there is nothing negative about me at all!"
I said in a harsh tone.

My palms were sweating, my heart was pounding. Oh I really hope I wouldn't
pass out in the middle of this "discussion".

"How long have you been a fag?" my father demanded.

"I realized I was gay in high school. Thanks Dad for pushing me to join
basketball and lacrosse. Did wonders for my sex life," I said smiling when
my Dad's mouth dropped open.

"You had sex in high school with other boys?" my stepmother asked, equally
shocked.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure, why not? Didn't you have sex in high
school? I bet you did, I can tell just by looking at you, mother," I said
sarcastically.

She gasped and her eyes flashed. She turned to face my father as if asking
him to do something about me.

"Don't talk to you mother that way!" my father seethed.

"Why not? You talk to me like I'm shit, what's the difference there?"

"The difference is that I am your father! I demand respect!"

"Well, I want respect too!" I yelled, tears brimming in my eyes. "I did
everything you ever wanted me to when I was younger, even in college and
even now. And now I lost Helaku and I realized that you'll never be happy
with me, no matter what I do. If I married Savanna and had a daughter, you
would be like, you should have had a son," I mocked imitating his voice.

"So if you're not going to approve of me or what I do no matter what, I may
as well do what is right for me."

"I can't believe this, you ungrateful little bastard!" my Dad snarled.

"I don't need you anymore, Alexander," using his first name. His eyes
bulged out of his head. "I have a good job and you can't get me fired for
being gay so don't even try! I don't need you or your money, I never have!
You were never a father to me anyway, you hated me, you still hate me!" I
shouted.

After that everyone was silent again. I just stared at my Dad, challenging
him with my eyes; my Dad was fuming. I never broke eye contact with
Alexander Whitman.

I felt a soft touch on my hand and looked over at Savanna.

"I am so sorry," I said sincerely. She merely smiled and nodded her head.

"It's ok Bryce. It is really ok."

I smiled back at her. She really was a good person.

"Do you love him?" she suddenly asked.

I looked at her in surprise, somehow knowing what she was referring
to. "Yes."

"Then what are you doing here still?" she asked quietly. "You should go get
him."

"Savanna!" my father exclaimed.

"Come on let me give you a ride. I want to get out of here anyway," she
said smiling broadly.

"Savanna!" my father and stepmother both cried out as we stood up.

I took her hand and we walked towards the door. "Good bye Alexander. Have a
nice life," I said over my shoulder before slamming the door.

"Thanks for being ok with that," I told Savanna as we headed to her car.

"I admire your courage Bryce. To say all those things to your father and
admit you are gay and have a lover is unbelievable."

"I didn't have enough courage otherwise I would have said something
sooner. Helaku won't speak to me," I said sadly.

"He will, I don't think anyone can resist your pretty face," she said
smiling at me.

I chuckled. "He might."

"You should be proud of yourself Bryce. You did something good for
yourself," she said.

I nodded. "Thanks Savanna." I paused. "Listen Savanna, I need to see Helaku
and I should go on my own," I started.

She held up her hand. "I knew that. I just really needed to get out of that
stuffy environment," she said taking her hair out of her ponytail. "I think
I'm gonna go clubbing," she said grinning.

I shook my head. "We should get together sometime and hang out, talk."

She grinned. "Sure, I always wanted to be a fag hag. I do love my Will and
Grace."

We burst out laughing at the same time and I leaned in and hugged her.

"Goodbye Savanna."

"Good luck Bryce."

***

(Helaku's point of view)


"Is everything all right?" my Dad asked as I absentmindedly stabbed at my
mashed potatoes.

I looked up into his concerned blue eyes and nodded.

A second later I shook my head and sighed. "No."

"Want to talk about it?"

I shook my head no. My Dad folded his hands and waited.

"I broke up with Bryce last week," I said. "We're officially over," I added
in a depressed tone.

"So that's why you've been moping around," my Dad observed taking a sip of
water.

I had been staying with my Dad for about a week and half now. I don't know,
maybe I needed the support or someone in the house with me even if he
wasn't home that much. And I was avoiding the apartment because I didn't
like being in the presence of happy memories of me and Bryce.

I was seriously regressing, needing my Dad at 22. What a baby.

"It's hard seeing him at work everyday," I admitted. "And I feel like I'm
unhappy because I chose to break up with him, but then again I know deep
down I did the right thing."

My Dad nodded in agreement. "You certainly did Helaku. If things are meant
to work out they will in the future. Until then, try to cheer up."

"I can't Dad," I whined.

He laughed. "My God, and here I thought I had a grown up son."

I had to smile when he said that.

"I'm just gonna be depressed forever then," I said stubbornly slumping in
my chair.

"Helaku, don't say that."

"Why not, if it's the truth," I said chucking a piece of steak in my mouth.

"Why don't you go out and do something to get your mind off of Bryce?" my
Dad suggested.

I shrugged my shoulders. "There's nothing to do. I don't drink or go to
bars or clubs anymore; and I have no friends."

My Dad shot me a disapproving look at me at my attitude, but didn't harp on
it too much.

"Well, do something then!" my Dad said in exasperation. "I can't take much
more of this Hela."

"Gee, thanks Dad."

"You know what I mean," he said sternly. "No parent wants to see their kid
depressed."

"I know Dad. I'll try to work through it," I promised.

"I know you feel bad and you're allowed to given the circumstances. I'm
just saying don't let it destroy you. Find something to occupy yourself and
get your mind off of Bryce so it won't eat away at you. Go out and try
something new," he advised.

I nodded, taking in my Dad's words.

"I'll try," I said again, "But it's easier said than done."

"I know Hela. I know."

***