Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2001 00:35:19 -0000
From: Ryan Collins <Phoenix.Angel@btinternet.com>
Subject: Love Through Hyperspace Part One A Brief Encounter With danny

This story is completely imaginary. If any gay material offends you; then
why are you reading gay material? As for anyone under 18 you know the drill
you shouldn't be reading this.

LOVE THROUGH HYPERSPACE
CHAPTER 1 -- A BRIEF ENCOUNTER WITH DANNIEL


Sadness, emptiness and loneliness; for most of my life this is all I have
known.  Disconnected, unplugged and unaware of the true beauty around me.
I had hidden my face time and time again. My life was a facade, a lie.
Every morning I would awake feeling like I was a disgrace. I would cry a
hollow tear and reapply the disguise that was my life. I thought if I kept
it in it wouldn't hurt me. I thought if I kept it in it would go away it
didn't.  How wrong could I have been?

How fucked up was I? I now realise that I was wrong. Hiding the fact that I
was gay made me miserable.  I grew up in a small town in Scotland.  Now I
know what your thinking cold weather, haggis, and kilts lots of people with
ginger hair -- no.  Anyway, this town in which I reside is a complete hole.
My town is the equivalent to an enlarged trailer park, filled with
tracksuit trash -- teenagers who chain smoke from the age of eight; they
have no hopes or aspirations in life apart from getting laid, buying drugs
and dealing drugs. These are the trailer trash of the UK. Every sentence
they produce end with "and shit like that," or "ya cunt."

Every day I would have to interact with these people, so naturally I had to
adapt or face having my ass kicked. So I did. I hid my true self from
everyone around me. I didn't tell my parent for the same reason as others
would.

My parent's were control freaks. My stepfather was a contemptuous bastard
-- every word he uttered had connotations of disgust. That was when he
didn't know that I was gay. My mom of course was just as bad, she suffered
a bad case of Tammy Wynette syndrome, "stand by her man," -- She's fucking
welcome to him. Everything I did wasn't good enough. I had pressure coming
from all angles, college, work and home shit home. To step-dad... Oh fuck
it he doesn't even deserve to be called that. Any way to mother's man I was
a joke nothing I did was good enough. Everything he said to me was laced
with bitchiness and when I retaliated, it was my fault. That's what I have
had to live with all my life. Being used as a punch bag, but still it was
my fault.

I have had few friends in my life, superficial and selfish as they were I
loved them. I hated them.  High School, now that was a joke, it's not even
worth the air. I guess I have to tell you, oh no, guess I don't.  I guess I
have given you a good enough image of the people that were around me.
Night after night I would cry inside my self. I would live my real life in
my mind; I would live my real life in hyperspace. Everything around would
disappear, the emptiness would unfold and I'd be in hyperspace. Hyperspace
has been my life until now. Hyperspace was my substitute for family
stability, friendship, education and love. In Hyperspace I was free, free
from tracksuit trash, free from my parents, free from the world in
Hyperspace I was who I wanted to be. Until one day I met Danny, He ripped
the boundaries of Hyperspace and dragged me to reality -- kicking and
screaming at that.

It all began two weeks into the college semester; I had finally made
friends, friends that weren't superficial and pretentious.  It was one of
the coldest days I have ever experienced. I was sitting in the refectory
cradling a cup of tea in my hands, to keep myself warm.  Nervously I peered
up from my books and looked around the dingy burgundy and yellow hall -- a
definite no, no.  I looked around the hall but I couldn't see anything for
someone standing directly in front of me; all I could see was a cream
jumper, I looked further up.  This guy was cute -- the jumper covered his
mouth and he gazed at me for a second.


"Is it okay if I sit here?"  Asked cream jumper

"Fine by me man," I replied, with my "hi, nice to meet you," smile.

"By the way I'm Daniel, but most call me Danny."


I can remember smiling so much. I can remember thinking, "oh my god Luke,
oh my god," then it moved on to "Oh my god he's da bomb," then it was "hmm
I want to cover him in chocolate sauce."

To me Danny was the most beautiful person I had seen in my life, he
emanated beauty.  At 5'11" he was just a little shorter than I. He had
messy jet-black hair that reached down to his ears. His eyes were like
pools of water. When I looked into those eyes, I made a note of taking a
swim inside those eyes when I reached hyperspace. Actually I drifted on the
borders until Daniel asked me my name.


"I didn't catch your name."

"Uuh," I groaned.

"Your name, I didn't catch your name," he nervously replied

"Uhh Luke, people call me Luke."  Oh shit just like Forrest Gump.

"You're funny man, I think you need some coffee," he laughed. The skin at
the side of his eyes creased like crows feet and his eyes looked like they
were going to leak burst and leak half the Atlantic Ocean over by work.


After the laughter I suddenly remembered him from my psychology class -- he
always sat up the back on his own. I can remember how curious I was when I
first looked at him. He looked so enigmatic and mysterious.

"I remember you from class, you sit up the back in psychology, right?"

"Yeah, I'm glad you noticed, I thought you would never notice," he replied
as he smiled at me.

"What! You wanted me to notice you,"

"Yeah, I haven't made many friends here and out of every person that I have
seen. Out of every person that has drifted in and out of my life you seem
like the most interesting person I have ever met." He smiled again.


Those soft and beautiful words rolled around my head my heart was pounding
so much, I could almost feel my heart pounding inside my throat.  I was on
fire, I was a light; this beautiful boy wanted me, me Luke the unlikely to
notice him. I wasn't used to this attention. I panicked major league.
Although I panicked I managed to give him a one-word reply.

"Whoa," I replied softly as I retreated to Hyperspace, in shock.

Suddenly the college bell rang, which signalled my escape and time to think
to myself. I got up from my chair and made my way to the refectory door.

"Looks like this is my cue man. Seeya!" I said as I made my escape.

"Wait!" Shouted Daniel. "I'd like to get to know you; I'm Dorm room 36AA."


If any comments or suggestions, email me at: Phoenix.Angel@btinternet.com