Date: Wed, 19 Oct 2005 1:06:33 -0400
From: jaden.scott@adelphia.net
Subject: Lover's Lane Chapters 13 & 14

This story is a work of fiction.  It depicts a romance between two
consenting adult males and may contain some descriptions of sexual acts,
again between two consenting adult males.  If you are not of legal age to
read this kind of story, please leave now.  If you reside in an area where
reading stories that include sexual situations between two consenting adult
males is illegal, please leave now.  This story is for entertainment
purposes only.  Any similarity to any person(s) living or dead is simply a
coincidence.  The author retains all rights to this story.  It cannot be
reproduced in any form without expressed written permission from the author
(me).  Please contact the author for any requests. Copyright 2005.

Feedback (and criticism) is ALWAYS appreciated and welcome.  Please respond
to this story at: jaden.scott@adelphia.net

I look forward to hearing from all of you and I will respond if you write
to me.  Thanks to all of you who have written so far with your encouraging
words.  I have appreciated every one of them.  Jaden

**Please watch for changes in POINT-OF-VIEW.**

LOVER'S LANE

by Jaden

>From the end of Chapter Twelve:

**JADEN'S POINT OF VIEW.**
It suddenly hit me, perhaps the biggest news of the night: LANE IS GAY!!

**LANE'S POINT OF VIEW.**
Jaden's and Kaylie's words finally sunk in:  JADEN IS GAY!!  HE KNOWS THAT
I'M GAY!!  HE KNOWS THAT I LIKE HIM!!  SHIT!!  I took off running out the
door.  I have to find him.


CHAPTER THIRTEEN:  THE MORNING AFTER

**JADEN'S POINT OF VIEW.**

I awoke with a start.  I opened my eyes but quickly had to shield them
because the sunlight was so bright. I started to move but stopped when a
sharp pain went shooting through my neck and down my back.  As my eyes
adjusted to the light, I realized that I was at the school track.  What was
I doing here??

Memories of last night's events came rushing back to my conscious mind.
Despite my sore muscles, I forced myself to sit upright.

"Long night, buddy??", I heard someone say to me.

I looked up and saw a runner who was passing me.  He had a smirk on his
face.  I looked down at my watch and saw that it was 7:15AM.  I realized
that I had slept at the track all night.

I rubbed my eyes, then I stretched out my arms.  My whole body was aching!!
I tried to remember what had happened after I arrived at the track.  I
remembered crying and then I had...GEORGE!!  I had never gone back to get
George.  He was still over at Lane's house.  I was worried about him for a
brief moment, but I calmed down as I realized that despite what had
happened last night, someone would have taken care of my dog.  They
wouldn't have thrown him out on the street.

I didn't want to think about everything that had happened, but my brain
wasn't cooperating.  Luckily, it really didn't matter because I felt
completely numb.  I think I must have blown a circuit because I wasn't
feeling any type of emotion as thoughts and images from last night raced
through my mind.  In fact, the only thing that I felt like doing was going
home and taking a long, hot shower.  I also needed to get George back.  I
decided that I would deal with last night later on.

I stood up quickly, which wasn't the smartest thing to do.  My legs
screamed in protest.  To be honest, the pain felt good, in a weird sort of
way.  It reminded me that I was still alive and able to feel something.

I decided that I would go home and clean up before going over to Lane's
house to get George.  I told myself that it was too early to pick him up
now and that I didn't want to be rude by waking someone up this early in
the morning just so I could get my dog.  The reality was I didn't want to
see anybody who was at the party last night, especially Lane.  I could
probably live the rest of my life in perfect happiness if I never saw Lane
or any of his friends again.

As I walked home, I was able to successfully block out any thoughts of the
party.  I concentrated primarily on the pain in my sore muscles.  I knew
that I would have to confront and deal with my feelings, but I couldn't do
that right now.  I wished once again for there to be some way for me to get
George without having to see Lane.  I wasn't sure when I'd ever be ready to
talk to him again.

Apparently, I was not going to get a choice if or when I would see Lane
again because I found him sitting against the door to my apartment when I
arrived home.  To say that I wasn't prepared to see him so soon would be
the understatement of the century.

Lane was sitting on the ground with his back propped up against my door and
George was laying in his lap.  They were both sleeping.  In any other
situation, I think that would have made the cutest picture ever.  Instead,
I was filled with fear.  The numbness I had been experiencing since I woke
up was demolished by the power of the emotion that hit me.  I AM NOT READY
TO SPEAK TO HIM YET!!  It took all of a split second for me to decide to
leave before Lane and George woke up.  I had no idea where to go but that
didn't matter. Just as I started walking away, George began barking.
DAMMIT!!  I turned around just in time to see him jump out of Lane's arms
and run up the steps that led to my apartment.  Before I knew it, he was on
top of me.  He practically tackled me to the ground!!  George hasn't been
this excited to see me since...we met Lane, I thought.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lane stirring as the sound of George's
barking woke him up.  I stopped looking at him as I concentrated on giving
a little love to my dog.  I closed my eyes and wished that Lane would
disappear.  He didn't, however, and I could hear him get up and walk up the
steps to join George and I in the backyard.  I stopped petting George and I
stood up, slowly.  I didn't look at him at first, but when he didn't say
anything I lifted my head and my eyes found his face.

He looked...horrible.  His clothes were wrinkled and his hair was
disheveled.  His face was etched with worry and--his eyes!!  I can't fully
describe what I saw when I looked in his eyes, because so much emotion was
passing through them.  His face slowly dissolved into a look of relief as
he realized that I was real and standing in front of him.  Some of the fear
I had felt when I first saw him disintergrated as I started to understand
the level concern he was showing for me.

I had tried to convince myself that Lane wouldn't want anything to do with
me after he saw me react so violently and psychotically toward Kaylie last
night.  Yet, here he was.  Apparently, he had slept here last night
waiting...for me!!  I suddenly felt obligated to speak to him, but I didn't
know what to say.

"Hey.", I said to him.

"Jaden.", he said.  I had never heard one word spoken with so much emotion
before.  I could hear the tension he was feeling release as he said my
name.  "Are you...OK??"

"Um...yeah."  I couldn't take my eyes off of him.  He finally broke eye
contact with me as he brought his hands up to rub his face.

I continued to be speechless.  I didn't know what to think about him being
over here at my apartment.  I don't think he knew what to say either
because, as he removed his hands from his face, he looked lost for words.
Finally, I couldn't take the silence any longer.

"Thanks for taking care of George for me.  I hope he wasn't too much of a
burden."

"It was no problem.", Lane said.  We both stared at each other again.  This
was extremely awkward.

"Jaden...about last night...", Lane started to say.

"Lane, please...stop.", I said, interrupting him.  "I...I can't...not right
now."

He studied me for a moment, trying to decide how serious I was.  I think he
finally realized that this wasn't the time or place for the discussion he
(apparently) wanted to have.

"OK.  But, Jaden...don't shut me out, alright??  I'm not sure what's going
on, but I want to help if I can."

I didn't know what to think about what he had just said.  I was taken aback
by how quickly he had accepted my reluctance to talk about what had
happened last night.  I guess I was expecting him to be mad at me or think
I was some type of psycho.  I was expecting him to demand some answers.

"Lane...I...thanks.", I said.  As usual, my contradictory feelings emerged.
I suddenly had the urge to say so much...stuff to him, while simultaneously
wanting to get away from him and never speak again.

"Sure.  I'm, uh, I'm going to head home, now that I know that you're OK."
I nodded to let him know that I heard him.  He stared at me for another few
seconds, then started to walk down the driveway.  He stopped after taking
about ten steps and turned around to face me.

"Can you promise me something??", he said after a few seconds.

"What do you want?"

"Call me if you need anything.  ANYTHING--alright??"

"I...I promise."

"Good."  He started to say something, then stopped as he seemed to decide
against it. Finally, he made up his mind and said, "Will...will you still
be meeting me for our workout tomorrow??"

Good question, I thought.  The way I was feeling at the moment, I wasn't
sure if I would.  I wasn't sure of anything at the moment.  I didn't know
how to respond to him.

"Honestly, I'm not sure.  I know that's not a great answer, but it's all I
can say."

"Well, it's not a 'no'.  I guess I can live with that."

He turned and continued to walk down the driveway.  I suddenly felt guilty.
He had slept outside of my door because he was worried about me!!  He had
taken care of my dog!!  I felt like I owed him something more instead of
blowing him off like I just did.

"LANE!!", I yelled out.  He stopped and turned to face me again.  "I WILL
call you.  I promise.  It's just...I need some time...to...to sort things
out.  Can you understand that??"

"I'll try.  The only thing I ask in return is that you remember that I want
to help.  Everyone does.  I...we were all so worried about you last night.

EVERYONE was worried about me last night??  Didn't they see me erupt in a
violent and crazy outburst and then run away??  Why do they care about me
so much??

"I'll remember."

Lane looked at me for another second then, seemingly satisfied, turned and
walked down the driveway and up the street.  I stood there staring after
him until he was out of sight.  After he was gone, I squatted down to pet
George.

"You still love me, right buddy??"

George leaned in and licked me all over my face.  Somehow he knew exactly
what I needed.


CHAPTER FOURTEEN: THE SHRINK

**JADEN'S POINT OF VIEW.**

I awoke with a start.  This time, however, I was lying in my own bed.  I
looked over at my alarm clock.  It was 12:30PM!!  After Lane had left,
George and I had gone into our apartment and I immediately collapsed into
bed.  I had never been so tired in my life.  It had been a restless sleep,
complete with dreams that I couldn't remember now.  I looked over and saw
George laying next to my, sound asleep.  For once, my canine alarm clock
let me sleep in!!

I felt extremely dirty as I realized that I was still in the same clothes I
had been wearing last night.  It was hard to believe that only twelve hours
had passed since my outburst at Lane's party.  The world seemed completely
different to me.

As I got out of bed, the commotion I made woke George up.  He jumped off of
the bed, barked at me, and walked over to the door, waiting patiently for
me to let him out.  George has the right idea, I thought as I realized that
my own bladder was full.  After Geroge completed his business, I went in
the bathroom to do mine.

I decided to take a long, hot, relaxing shower.  Unfortunately, the
relaxing part of my shower only lasted about 30 seconds as, once again,
images and feelings from last night's party rushed through my mind.  I
tried to stop them, but I didn't have any success because they came on me
with surprising power and speed.  Unlike this morning at the track, I
wasn't numb and my emotions started to overwhelm me.  Memories of "IT" and
all of the terror that I had felt during that time flooded my brain.  I
started to get dizzy and I almost slipped and fell.  Somehow, I managed to
catch myself and I ended up in a sitting position on the floor of the
shower.

I'm not sure how long I sat there on the shower floor.  It must have been
awhile because I didn't snap out of the catatonic state I was in until the
water started to turn cold.  I slowly got to my feet, turned off the
shower, and grabbed my towel.  I started drying myself off, but I was just
going through the motions.  My mind was occupied with thoughts and feelings
from 11 years ago and last night.

I wrapped the towel around my waist and made my into the kitchen.  I sat
down at the table and started to cry.  Why won't this pain leave me??  Am I
going to feel this way forever??  When will the consequences of "IT" start
to go away??

Suddenly, I had a thought.  I found my wallet and searched through it.
Where is it??  Where is that phone number??  I practically tore my wallet
apart looking for it and I felt so relieved when I finally found it.  I
found my cell phone and dialed the number, the first time I had ever used
this particular number.  The phone rang twice before she answered it.

"Hello.  This is Dr. Swatt.  Is this an emergency??", she said in a very
professional tone.

"Doctor, this is Jaden Scott.  I'm so sorry for using this number, but I
didn't know who else to call.  Please, Doctor, I need your help!!", I
practically screamed into the phone.

"Slow down, Jaden.  I want you to take a couple of deep breaths and try to
settle yourself down."

I did as the she asked, and I felt myself starting to calm down.

"OK, Dr. Swatt.  I'm feeling a little bit better now."

"Good.  Now, Jaden, can you tell me a little bit about what happened that
made you feel you needed to call this number??"

What happened??  What DIDN'T happen??  I didn't even know where to begin.

"I didn't know who else to turn to, Dr. Swatt.  I...I went to a party last
night at Lane's house."

"Is this the same Lane we have talked about in your last few sessions??"

"Yes.  I went over to his house and while I was there, I lost control.  All
of my memories from the kidnapping came rushing back to me.  The feelings I
had were so intense, it felt like I was ten years old again.  And then,
I...I..."

"Go on, Jaden.  You can tell me."

"I outed myself to everyone at the party--including Lane.  They all know
I'm gay!!  I don't know what to do, Dr. Swatt.  Please, I need some help!!"

Dr. Swatt was quiet for a few seconds before speaking again.

"Jaden, I want to see you.  Do you think you can drive yourself over to my
office??"

"Yes, I can."

"Good.  Meet me there in 30 minutes.  Make sure you keep your cell phone
turned on, OK??"

"Thanks, Doctor.  I'll see you soon."

I hung up the phone.  I was completely frazzled, but the knowledge that I
would be seeing my doctor shortly helped make me feel a little bit better.
I quickly got dressed and headed out the door.  George wasn't too happy
about staying home, but I couldn't take him with me.  I got in my car--a
silver 2003 Honda Accord--and began driving.  It normally took me about 20
minutes to get to the doctor's office, so I didn't have any time to spare!!

I pulled into the parking lot just as Dr. Swatt was getting out of her car.
I parked next to her and exited my own vehicle.  We entered her office and
I took my seat on the couch I normally sat on.

Dr. Megan Swatt was only about about 28 or 29 years old.  She was an
extremely beautiful and incredibly intelligent woman.  I had started seeing
Dr. Swatt when I came up here to attend college.  She was a protege of my
hometown doctor, Dr. Crittenden.  I had been seeing Dr. Crittenden ever
since "IT" had happened.  When I was 16 years old, Dr. Swatt had worked
with Dr.  Crittenden for about 6 months while she completed her degree and
training.  When she was finished, she left and set up her own practice
outside of Providence.  I had been extremely nervous about getting a new
doctor when I started college because I was very happy with the care that
Dr. Crittenden had given me.  Once I had decided on a college and we
realized I would be close to Dr. Swatt, Dr. Crittenden called her up and
asked her to take me on as a patient.  I allowed both doctors to exchange
notes on my therapy sessions since I continued to see Dr. Crittenden when I
was home for the summers.  I was very happy with the arrangement we had and
I felt equally comfortable talking to both doctors.

"Thank you so much for meeting me.  I'm sorry that it's on a Sunday!!", I
said to Dr. Swatt after she was settled in her chair.

"It's quite alright, Jaden.  After being your doctor for so long, I know
that you wouldn't call the emergency number unless it was extremely
important.  I can tell when a patient is having a legitimate crisis, and
when they're not.  Anyway, it's Sunday afternoon and my husband is glued to
the television watching the football game."

Football!!  I had forgotten all about the games today.

"Since we've already talked quite extensively about your new friend Lane
and your feelings for him during our last two sessions, why don't you begin
by telling me what happened yesterday??  Please give me as much detail as
possible so I can have a better understanding of what we're dealing with."

I proceeeded to tell Dr. Swatt everything that had happened starting with
yesterday's basketball game and ending with the breakdown I had while
showering just a short time ago.  Dr. Swatt took notes while I spoke,
asking questions when she needed me to clarify something that happened or
how I was feeling during a particular moment.  When I finished, I said,

"I'm so confused, Dr. Swatt.  I don't know how to handle all of these
emotions I'm having.  I'm not sure what to do."

Dr. Swatt sat quietly in her chair for a few minutes. I could almost see
the wheels turning in her head as she contemplated what to say.  Finally,
she spoke.

"Jaden, I've been seeing you for three years now.  In that time, we have
established a strong level of trust.  I need you to remember that trust as
you listen to what I'm going to tell you.  I'm going to be very candid with
you because I think you can handle it, even with everything you have gone
through during the last day.  This emotional breakdown that you're
currently experiencing is a GOOD THING, quite possibly the best thing to
happen to you in a long time."

A GOOD THING??  QUITE POSSIBLY THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO ME??  wHAT IS
SHE TALKING ABOUT??

"I know it doesn't feel very good right now and I understand that it was
very difficult to relive your memories of Leon and the kidnapping.  To be
perfectly honest with you, Jaden, I've been waiting for this to happen
since I first took you on as a patient.  You've shut yourself off from
these emotions for so long, I was beginning to wonder if they were
permanently buried.  Sure, you've had a minor flare up here and there, but,
for the most part, you've suppressed the most horrific feelings.  I don't
want you to feel like you've done something wrong because you haven't.
It's perfectly understandable why you've bottled up all of these emotions.
It's human nature.  But, in order to truly heal, you have to confront these
feelings once and for all and put them behind you.  You've just taken a
gigantic step forward in the healing process."

"Jaden,", Dr. Swatt continued, "I've enjoyed being your doctor and I've
tried to help you the best I can.  Recently, however, I realized that we've
reached a sort of crossroads on your path to recovery.  There's no denying
you went through a very traumatic experience.  I wouldn't wish what
happened to you on my worst enemy.  But, at some point, you have to stop
giving Leon all of this power over you.  You have to take control of your
life, Jaden.  You need to stand up for yourself and push Leon away.  Now,
right now, is the time for action.  This is your opportunity.  I've
hesitated saying these things to you because I've been waiting for a day
like today to come along.  It's finally here.  This is a crucial step
towards total recovery.  The question is: Are you ready to move on, to let
go of Leon once and for all??  Or, are you going to let that pain ruin the
rest of your life??"

She put an interesting spin on my current problems.  I never would have
thought I could view my emotional state as something positive.  One of the
reasons I appreciated Dr. Swatt so much was her ability to take any
negative thought or feeling and shed some positive light on it.  She was
the most optimistic person I had ever met.

"I want to heal, doctor.  I'm ready to...finally.  I want to start living
life--my life--again."

"I'm so happy to hear that, Jaden.  Believe it or not, you've taken the
most painful step.  The first one is always the hardest."

"Where do I go from here??  What am I supposed to do??"

"You need to continue our therapy sessions.  We'll change the focus of our
talks and deal with the feelings that have been stirred up.  We also need
to decide if and how Lane is going to fit into all of this."

"Lane!!  I almost forgot about him.  What am I supposed to do about Lane
and that whole situation??"

"Well, I think the first thing you need to ask yourself is how you feel
about Lane, now that you know the whole truth."

"I'm still not completely sure if I really do know the whole truth.  I
mean--I only heard what Kaylie said.  For all I know she was lying about
him liking me."

"Why don't you examine this issue from a different angle??  Forget about
Kaylie and focus on Lane and his actions. For instance, who was the one
that made first contact between you??"

"Lane."

"Who had the idea for the two of you to become workout partners??"

"It was Lane's idea."

"Who was the one that invited you play basketball with him, ostensibly to
spend more time with you??"

"Lane, once again."

"At the party last night, who did Lane spend the majority of his time
with??"

"When he wasn't playing in the video game tournament, he was usually around
me."

"Who did you find at your apartment door this morning??"

"Lane.  He was worried about me and wanted to make sure I was OK."

"So, you have to ask yourself this question, and be completely honest with
yourself, what do all of Lane's actions indicate to you??"

"That...that he likes me??  Or...he at least wants to be friends with me."

"Based on the evidence, I would draw the same conclusions, Jaden.  Right
now, making a friend is a great step forward for you.  I'm not sure if Lane
wants something more than friendship from you.  It doesn't really matter
because you're not ready to start a relationship with him--or anyone.  I
definitely don't advocate starting any type of sexual relationship.  Get to
know Lane better and take it at a slow pace.  You still need time to heal
and jumping into a relationship will definitely hinder that process."

"Is it fair of me to burden Lane with all of my problems??  Assuming Kaylie
was being truthful and Lane is gay AND likes me, should I let him get
invested in me when I'm such an emotional wreck??  What do I have to offer
him??  It seems like he's getting a pretty shitty deal by getting involved
with me, even if it is JUST friendship."

"It isn't for you to decide what Lane can and can't handle.  Have you
thought about talking to him about your past??"

"A few times."

"I think that you should seriously consider it.  You don't know how he is
going to react until you tell him.  I'm not saying it's going to be easy,
but I think you've reached a point where you need to share this part of
yourself with someone other than your parents or doctor.  You have to take
a leap of faith, Jaden.  You have to trust somebody.  It's a scary thing to
do, but you won't fully recover until you decide to take that step."

"I hear what you are saying, but I'm not sure."

"Let me ask you this question: Do you trust Lane??"

"Honestly, I don't know.  I want to."

"Let's try a little exercise.  I want you to sit back on the couch and get
nice and comfortable."  I did as she asked.  "Now, close your eyes and try
to clear your mind."

I took a few deep breaths and started to relax.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer with the
first thought that comes into your mind.  Do you understand??"

"Yes."

"Let's begin.  What is your favorite color??"

"Blue."

"What is your favorite season??"

"Spring."

"What is your favorite food??"

"Anything with chicken in it."

She proceeded to ask me about 30 questions, all relating to things I liked
or disliked.  When we had reached a good rhythm, she asked me the following
two questions.

"Do you want to pursue a friendship with Lane??"

"Yes."

"Do you trust Lane??"

"Yes."

As I answered that last question, I suddenly realized what had occurred.  I
opened my eyes and looked at Dr. Swatt.  A smile--A SMILE!!--actually broke
out on my face.

"I...I trust Lane.", I said.

"The only knowledge I have of Lane is what you've told me, but I think that
you can trust him, Jaden.  He has shown you over and over with his actions
that he cares for you.  I think it's alright to share your past with him.
If he reacts badly, then he wasn't the person you thought he was.  You
wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that anyway."

"I'll definitely think about it."

"Good.  So, are you feeling any better??  Have you calmed down??

"Yes.  Thank you.  This, all of this, was above and beyond."

"It's my job.", Dr. Swatt said with a smile.  "I want you to go home and
get a good night's sleep.  Take things slowly for the next few days.  You
don't need to go running to Lane to bare your soul right this minute.  In
fact, I would recommend that you don't do anything like that for the next
couple of days.  At least wait until we can talk again at our normal
session on Thursday.  Take some time and try to relax.  Let your mind
process everything you've felt over the last day.  If you need anything,
please call me."

"I will, doctor."

Dr. Swatt had given me alot to think about.  I felt much more calm than I
did when I came in here earlier.  She had really helped me.  I decided to
take her advice and get some rest.  I wasn't sure if I was going to tell
Lane about my past.  I definitely had some serious thinking to do.

TO BE CONTINUED

Well, I decided to post these two chapters now, so I could feel like I had
gotten something accomplished this week.  Chapter 14 was supposed to be
longer, but I am cutting out the last section and will include it in
chapter 15.  Sorry there's not much action in these chapters.  They are
actually important as they are helping to set up some future events.  I'm
trying to get these two together, I swear!!  It's taking a little bit
longer than I had anticipated.  The story wouldn't ring true if they
suddenly had drastic character changes--I'm trying to be faithful to who
Jaden and Lane are.  Stick with me!!  I am going to move heaven and earth
to try and get chapter 15 posted before this weekend, since I'll be away at
alumni weekend at my alma mater.  Wish me luck!!

Be on the lookout for Chapter 15 coming soon!!!

FEEDBACK, FEEDBACK, FEEDBACK---This is lifeblood for us writers, so please
drop me a quick line.

My e-mail address is: jaden.scott@adelphia.net