Date: Thu, 4 May 2006 13:38:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: Lusty <lustyville@yahoo.com>
Subject: Lucas and Lionel-Part 11. Open Up

     The semester was over, the grades were in, and we were
preparing to go home for Christmas. I was snuggled in his arms
thinking about the journey home and our relationship. We were
just going to be "friends" when we got off the bus and returned
to our old routines for a day, before heading back to school for
practice and our next game. Thanksgiving was easy because we had
a game that weekend and too much homework, so we couldn't go
home, but now we just had a game and nothing but time. My mind
began to wonder and I started thinking about the talk we never
had and that's when I was struck by an epiphany about us.
Suddenly it was clear to me that we were trying to use a band-aid
on a wound that wouldn't stop bleeding. Sure the band-aid covered
the bleeding and for a few moments it seemed okay, but then the
blood soaked through the band-aid again and it was time for a new
one. That's what sex was for us, a band-aid. After that night at
Michael's, Lionel and I kissed and made out when we should have
been talking. I know it was easier for us and I'm not
complaining, because I needed the closeness while I was dealing
with the STD situation, and I really wanted the intimacy after I
was clean, but now the honeymoon was over and the delusions were
dissipating. I realized that our last few weeks together hadn't
been peaches and cream and that I had overlooked his mistakes and
shook them off as nothing.

     I felt him nuzzle my neck with his nose and I knew he was
waking up. He pulled me closer and his dick pressed against my
ass as if it belonged there. Without thinking, I raised my thigh
a little and he pushed his hard dick between my thighs. I closed
my thighs and relaxed with the feeling of him between them. I
didn't mean to do anything sexual but it seemed that was all we
were good for. He started going in and out and moaning. I
squeezed my thighs together harder when he tried to pull out
because I knew he liked that. After a couple seconds, I started
wondering what the hell I was doing. I felt like `here we go
again' and I didn't want to go there right then. I jumped out of
the bed, grabbed my boxers off the floor and put them on.

     "What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

     "Putting my clothes on. What does it look like I'm doing?" I
knew I didn't say it nicely.

     "What the fuck is your problem?" he asked sitting up in the
bed.

     "That's all we do!" I yelled at him.

     "What? And lower your voice, someone might hear you."

     "No, I'm not going to lower my voice! There are only three
damn people left on the whole damn floor and I don't think Henry
cares and frankly, I could give a flying fuck who hears me! All
we do is have sex! We don't talk about anything." I could feel
the frustration building in my body.

     "We talk all the time!"

     "Yeah, like what do you want for dinner, but we never talk
about anything real! What about your lying, or the way you treat
me, or the way you talk to me like trash sometimes? What about
the way you scare me sometimes? What about the fact that you
don't trust me? If you see me talking to a guy you don't know,
you assume I'm sleeping with him or something, but we don't talk
about it when we get back, we just kiss and make out like
nothing's wrong, but something is very wrong! The past few weeks
have been great physically, but we're just pretending to be happy
and I'm tired of it! We need to talk dammit!"

     "Wah, wah, wah! You sound like a fucking baby! A whiny baby
at that! Why don't you stop bitching and get back in the bed!" I
could see the anger rising in his eyes.

     "No! I'm not getting back in bed until we talk!" I crossed
my arms over my chest.

     He threw the covers back and jumped out the bed. He lowered
his face to mine, nose to nose, so to speak. "What the fuck do
you want from me? I love you! You know that! Now get back in bed
and we'll talk about this later." His look softened a little, "I
promise."

     "No." The anger returned to his face and in an instant, he
had grabbed my arm and flung me on the bed with such force that
the back of my head hit the wall and it hurt like hell. It took
me a second to overcome the shock. Once I regained my composure,
I looked at him. "What are you going to do? Take it?" He didn't
say anything. I started pulling off my boxers as the tears ran
down my face. "Fine then, do it! That's all I'm good for to you
anyway, so just do it!"

     He didn't look angry anymore. There was a look of remorse on
his face. "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean it." He came towards me
and lifted his hand, I flinched. "Relax, I'm not going to hurt
you." He rubbed my cheek and I wondered why everything seemed so
familiar.

     Finally, I pushed his hand away. "What's wrong with you?" I
asked him. My tears stopped falling.

     His look changed from remorse to pure sadness. He started
backing away from me and he sat down on his bed. "I'm sorry," he
said as he put his head in his hands and sobbed.

     I didn't understand him sometimes. I swear it's like he just
snaps. I watched him cry for a few minutes and then my heart
started to ache for him because I could feel his sadness. I got
up, pulled my boxers up properly and walked over to him. I put my
arms around him and he cried into my chest. I rubbed my fingers
lightly through his hair and said, "Ssh, ssh. It's okay."

     "It's not okay" he said into my chest. The vibrations from
his voice tickled across the few chest hairs I had. I knew there
was something going on with him, and I was sick of not knowing.
How could I help him if I didn't know what was wrong? I released
my embrace as I sat down on the bed next to him. I pulled his
head back to my chest and he cried a little more. His crying
slowly started to ease and soon all I heard was a few sniffles.
"I don't want to be like them" he whispered.

     "Like who?" I asked as softly as possible.

     He was silent for a long time before he said, "Nothing."

     "You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything. I won't
judge you." I wasn't sure what to say to him, but that seemed
like the best thing.

     "I can't tell you" he whispered.

     "Fine, you don't have to tell me right now." I pulled back
from him and held his face up so I could look in his eyes. "But I
hope you feel comfortable enough to tell me one day, because I
love you, so your demons are my demons. Okay?"

     He shook his head `yes' but he remained silent. I gave him a
peck on his lips and I stood up. He immediately grabbed me,
"Don't go" he begged.

     "I'm not going anywhere, I was standing up so you could
stretch out on the bed and I could lie down next to you."

     "Oh, okay." He stretched out on his bed and grabbed my hand.
"Lie down on top of me please, so I can hold you." He sounded
almost childlike when he said it.

     I looked at his still exposed albeit soft penis and said, "I
don't think that's such a good idea."

     "It's okay, I won't try anything. I just want to hold you."

     "You can hold me while I'm next to you." I pointed out.

     "But it's not the same."

     Usually I would have continued to argue with him, but the
look on his face told me that he didn't need that right now, he
needed me. "Okay." I got on top of him and rested my head on his
chest. He put his arms around me and squeezed me tight. Nothing I
wanted to talk about was important enough to try to discuss right
then. I relaxed in his arms and let his heart lull me in to a
trance like state. My mind stopped racing and I was able to focus
my thoughts on the situation at hand. What started as a
confrontation had ended as something even more confusing. I
always suspected there was something else he wasn't telling me
and now I knew it for sure. I even knew that it was someone, and
not something, that he was keeping secret. Someone was hiding in
his memories, waiting to haunt him. I was fairly certain that I
knew what at least part of the secret was, but I couldn't help
but wonder if there was more.

     "Are you asleep?" I heard a faint voice ask.

     "Almost." I paused for a second. "I should probably roll off
of you now because I know you don't want to wake up with my dead
weight on top of you."

     His grip around me tightened again. "I couldn't imagine
waking up in a better predicament." He kissed the top of my head.
"Besides, you know I can push your bony ass off me." He laughed a
little and I swear I heard his laughter transform in to a smile
on his face. I wanted to look at him, but I was too sleepy to
move my head.

     I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but I know I wasn't up much
longer. My next memory was waking up still pressed against his
body, with his hardon poking me, and wetness around my lips. I
leaned my head up and brought my hand over to wipe away my drool.
I looked at his chest and saw a small spot of wetness there. I
don't know why I did it, but I couldn't help myself, I stuck my
tongue out and licked the spot. I heard a moan escape from Lionel
and that's when I realized that his hands were inside my boxers
and parked on my ass.

     "You better stop that unless you want trouble." he joked.

     I looked up at him and was greeted by his beautiful, smiling
face. "Feel better?" I asked.

     "Yes, thank you." he said as his smile continued to brighten
the room.

     Seeing that he was in a good mood put me in a good mood and
I smiled back at him until the urge to pee hit me. "I have to
pee, so would you kindly unhand my ass?" I smiled at him and he
laughed.

     "Sorry, my bad." He started pulling his hands out, but he
couldn't just pull them out, he had to squeeze my ass a few times
and slowly glide his hands up to my lower back. Damn him for
turning me on so much!

     I got off of him and said, "I think I'm going to take a
shower while I'm in there."

     "Sounds tempting."

     "It shouldn't, I'm showering alone." I told him as I grabbed
my robe and my shower stuff.

     "You're such a tease!" he joked as I opened the door. I
stopped and sat my robe and my shower stuff on my newly relocated
computer desk. I bent forward and lowered the back of my boxers.
I moved my ass from side to side for a few seconds and I was
about to pull up my boxers when I heard Lionel's bed creak.
Sometimes I forgot how fast he was. He had his hard dick pressed
up against my ass in no time. I let out an involuntary gasp as I
felt him behind me. I immediately stood up straight.

     "Not now." I told him.

     "I know. I just wanted to feel you so I could have something
to think about." He slapped my left ass cheek and jokingly said,
"Now get that ass in the shower before I want to do more than
feel."

     I pulled up my boxers, grabbed my things and was just about
to close the door behind me when I felt the urge to look at him.
I turned around and saw him standing there, naked, watching me.
"I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" I couldn't explain the
urge to say that to him, but something in his eyes changed a
little and his eyes seemed to smile back at me.

     "I know you will." was all he said before I tore myself away
from his smiling eyes and closed the door.

     My shower was interesting to say the least. All the thoughts
that had been racing around in my head returned and quickly
resumed competition. I was thinking about so many different
things, but all of them involved the same two constants, me and
Lionel. I thought about the talk we still hadn't had yet and I
wondered if we'd ever have it. Somehow I feared that we wouldn't.
Talking was obviously not a strong suit for either of us and I
couldn't think of a good reason to bring the conversation back up
anytime soon. Lionel obviously had some issues he needed to work
through and I wanted to be there for him, no questions asked and
no drama given. My insecurities could wait until after I knew his
situation.

     I washed my hair in the shower and wondered if my mother
would like my new haircut. I wondered if I should finally tell
her that Lionel and I were together, or if I should continue to
hide it from her in fear of her telling someone else. I knew
Lionel would never tell his mother but he didn't talk much about
his family, so I couldn't figure out if it was because his mother
hated homosexuals, or if it was because he didn't have much to
say about her.

     I finished my shower and returned to find Lionel on his bed,
stroking his dick. His eyes were closed and he was moaning my
name repeatedly. "Lucas, yeah Lucas, suck that shit. Oh, oh,
ohhh, I'm about to cum!"

     I was tempted to say something and ruin his moment while
also scaring the hell out of him, but I thought better of it and
instead lightly closed the door behind me and tiptoed over to
him. I started rubbing my fingers up and down his chest and his
eyes shot open as he looked to see who was touching him. He saw
my face and smiled before continuing to stroke. I reached down
and grabbed the hand that was wrapped around his dick. "Let me
help you." I said as seductively as possible.

     "You don't have to," he said between heavy breathing.

     "I want to," I told him before I lowered my head and opened
my mouth to suck his dick. I still couldn't take all of it, but I
was getting better. He came a few seconds later and I swallowed.
As I was swallowing his cum, I had one thought: I guess its back
to sex again.

     "Thanks" he said as I lifted my head.

     "You needed it" I told him without batting an eye. He got
up, put a pair of boxers on, grabbed his shower stuff and dashed
out the door and down the hallway. I was stupefied by his quick
exit. I waited a few minutes before I decided to check on him. I
walked in the bathroom and I heard him crying in the shower. I
wanted to go in and kiss wherever it hurt so I could take away
his pain, but I knew there was nothing I could do unless he
reached out to me. I stood there for a few minutes before the
sound of his sniffles became too much for me. A brief moment of
hesitation hit me as I turned to leave, but I swept it under the
rug and walked back to our room.


c Lustyville 2006
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