Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2004 18:49:49 +0100
From: Alistair Stevenson <asjam@hotmail.co.uk>
Subject: Made in Sheffield Chapter 3

Midnight

When I was fifteen I became one of the youngest ever captains of an
under-18 football team at county level. I was selected after the coach had
watched a critical match in which I was robbed of two clear runs at goal by
obvious fouls a bent referee had refused to penalise. During my farewell do
- before I left the team to start university - the coach had told me he
knew that day he had to pick me to lead the side because instead of
throwing a fit, I'd smiled and done my best to keep the other lads calm.

Seeing Sarah cheating on me in my own bedroom with some long-haired fuck -
who, right then, had his hands around her tits and his mouth against her
neck - seeing her cheating on me just five seconds after I'd finished
thinking how much I needed her should have had me out of control. But as
I'd taken that bent referee in my stride when I was a schoolboy, I stayed
still and silent now. The moment Sarah had pulled the blind and the two of
them were out of sight, I scaled effortlessly up the back of our house to
the flat roof of our kitchen, just to the right of the bedroom window. Once
my breathing was steady, I clung to the drainpipe and swung out so I was
flat against the wall and able to crane my head to a position where I could
not only hear what was going on in my bedroom, but, unfucking luckily for
them, see as well.

My Judas girlfriend had been persuading the babyfaced streak of piss she
was with that he was safe to fuck her because if I came home he could be
out through the open window, onto the kitchen roof and away before I was
upstairs. I longed for him to try that route because I could guarantee he'd
never get over the beating I'd have given him if he had. But I was, in
fact, less concerned with him than with the gagging-for-it slut Sarah was
being. Normally, I spent half an hour courting her before an hour (or two)
using every trick in the book to persuade her to come. With the
dumb-looking surfer type she'd chosen instead of me, it turned out she was
the one pleading to be slept with and he was the one umm-ing and err-ing.

"Yeah, OK. But look, I don't want to rush it and I'm gonna break my neck
going out that window if Noah comes home and I'm not even worth shagging,
Sarah: honestly."

They were kissing while they talked. He was gradually getting on top of
her. She was starting to slide his briefs off him.

"It doesn't matter, Col. You don't have to be Cassanova: it'll be a nice
change for me if it's natural."

And that was that. No more speech. Just murmuring, sighs and groans as she
got herself ready to be taken by this...by this.... I couldn't find the
words. From the metre's distance I was away from him I could see he was
basically still an adolescent. He was fit but skinny: probably a sportsman
but no serious gym-training that's for sure. And fare skinned, like some
eighteen year old wallflower. To me, with the long hair and pretty-boy face
he looked more like a girl. He had a big cock but I guess I wasn't in the
mood for paying him compliments since he was busy guiding it into my
girlfriend. I watched him fuck her, letting each thrust of his ass sink
into my mind; watching her grip him as he gave her the fastest orgasm I'd
ever seen her have. When he finally collapsed on top of her I waited

to see him pull his dick out of her then dropped back down to the garden as
silently as I'd got up and used my backdoor key to get inside the house.

If Sarah's doomed new boyfriend had been planning to do a runner when I got
home, he'd have ended up just as doomed anyway since his University rowing
squad sports top was hanging up in the hallway. What did they take me for?
Still keeping in check the limitless anger I felt, I checked for his
wallet. The only thing I knew for certain was, whatever happened, this guy
was going to pay heavily for the shag he'd had. I had plenty of time and I
could think of lots of things to do to him to show him how ticked off I
was. I was calm because I knew I wasn't going to forget, ever and everyone
with a brain knows revenge is only effective if it's icy cold. From his ID
cards I found out he was Colin Wright, a twenty year old geology student
who lived in university flats not far away. I looked at his student Union
membership, studying the blonde little prick as he grinned his photo booth
best at me. Upstairs, the bedroom door opened as one of them headed for the
bathroom. I lit into the living room and - unbelievably since Sarah was
supposed not to be stupid - discovered the pair of them had started
undressing downstairs. The idea of them being too hot for each other to be
cautious made my blood steam. I ignored my girlfriend's shoes and jumper
and picked up Colin's worn out Glastonbury tee shirt. Like a hound tasting
the scent of his prey, I put the cotton to my face and inhaled. He'd been
wearing some brand of lover-boy perfume but his sweat was there as well. I
imagined him getting ready to go out with the possibility of sex with Sarah
on his mind. I didn't feel horny - I felt dangerous - but my dick was stiff
again and, in that moment, as I squeezed my balls and took in the smell of
Colin's body I knew exactly what I was going to do. I dropped his shirt,
crossed the hall and searched quickly among the rubbish in the cupboard
under our stairs. I found what I was looking for and wedged it in the
pocket of my jacket. There was laughter coming from the bedroom and their
voices were getting louder. They were moving around, dressing maybe and
preparing to say goodbye. I felt cheered up slightly by promising myself
that the next time they had sex, Colin at least would have been through
quite a lot that he couldn't possibly be expecting now. Something his
mother probably wouldn't like the idea of. And it would be me who'd done it
to him.

Without a sound - I left the house, locking the backdoor behind me.

In the garden, I dropped back far enough not to be seen, but so I could
still keep watch on what the two of them were up to. I stood invisible on
the lawn in the dark while Sarah turned lights on to give me a better view
of what a cheating little whore she was. I'd never lied to her about
myself; she'd always known I was up for sale and since she'd benefited as
much from the cash I earned as me, I'd thought it was something I'd been
doing for both of us. All right, I enjoyed fucking around more than I ever
let on to her, but I'd always been honest that it was what I did, the bitch
had no need and no excuse for sniffing out the blonde dicksplat she was
busy helping to get dressed. But it was obvious from watching them, she was
runnier about surf-boy than she'd ever been about me. They moved into the
kitchen for a farewell clinch. He stood over her, doing nothing while she
gazed up at him, holding on tight, giggling and smiling. When it had been
me and her, I'd always been the one in control; always been working out new
ways to turn her on. And thinking about it now, as I watched her and her
himbo, I realised she'd been getting more and more off with me as time went
on. Remembering all the effort I'd made with her, compared to the sulks and
put downs she'd pulled on me, I began to hate her rower even more than I'd
hated him while I watched him giving it to her. My breathing was shallow
and fast, desperate for it to be just me and him on our own. He kissed her
neck while she zipped up his top and they let go of each other. It caught
me by surprise but Sarah had obviously thought through her moves and was
letting her toy boy out through the backdoor. I moved behind bushes she and
I had chosen together. For one black moment, my anger went out as I thought
about losing her and having only Paul - a fucking bloke - to love me. Well,
I'd rather have been dead than swap my girlfriend for a boyfriend, so I had
nothing to lose: I could do what I liked to Colin including killing him
since nothing the University or Police could do to me could be worse than
what was happening now. They could take as long as they liked whispering
their goodbyes. I leaned back on the fence, feeling calm again. I could
wait. Whatever happened, Colin Wright was mine.

I listened to them mumbling and chortling together and to the silence while
my slut girlfriend opened her mouth to another man's tongue then, as he
left, to him promising to ring her and telling her not to "worry about
Noah". I looked down at my feet and laughed silently to myself. He was
telling her not to worry about me. What was the puny gobshite going to do?
Protect her from me? Once again, and with nothing on under my jeans, I felt
my cock thicken thinking what I intended to do to the cheeky little
fuck. He ambled away round the side of the house and I heard Sarah locking
the door. I waited for the kitchen light to go off then whipped round to
the front myself.

Colin must have been feeling pretty chirpy for having got himself a shag
because he'd sprinted to the top of the street. I was no more likely to
lose him than I would someone I'd been told to mark in a football match,
but I wasn't going to let him know I was following either. I made ground
while he waited to cross the road. I thought about what an insult it was
that he was so casually dressed; he'd chosen to date my girlfriend in his
oldest hooded rowing team top, a pair of track pants and trainers. I slowed
down as I came closer, watching him tie his hair back with an elastic band
into a schoolgirl pony tail as he dodged between cars. He vaulted the low
wall surrounding the park and was off again, trotting his cock-sure route
across the grass towards the college flats. I knew where he was going so
there was no rush, but as I got into the park myself and the noise of
traffic died away; knowing no-one could see us and watching the guy
practically skipping with happiness at having got his end away, I
considered changing my plans for him. I was tempted to catch up with him
now and hammer him against some tree. I was boiling to take him to pieces,
to paste him and drink the fucker's blood. Suddenly, I was speeding after
him; racing along silently until I was just behind. Close enough for a
quick rugby tackle to have had him on the ground ready for his beating. But
it wouldn't do. I wanted to do more to Sarah than just mess up her new
boy's looks, I wanted her to know that just like he'd had her, I'd had him.

Colin looked round startled as he clocked that someone had appeared behind
him. I barged into him as hard as I could and accelerated away.

"Hey, pal! Watch it...Fuck me!"

I changed some of my anger into energy as I powered over the park,
viciously excited at the prospect of doing to Colin exactly what he'd just
told me to do.

I was panting by the time I got to the estate of college flats where Colin
lived. I dodged behind some cover while I caught my breath and waited for
him to arrive. He'd got over being barged because he turned up whistling to
himself, bouncing along with no worries, maybe rehearsing ways of telling
his mates he'd bagged the captain of the University First Eleven's
girlfriend. When he was far enough ahead but still within sight I came out
from my hiding place and watched to see into which block he went. I'd
thought about appearing behind him again as he was opening his front door,
and hustling both of us in at the same time, but I didn't want him making
any fuss his neighbours might hear, so I hung back near some garages and
watched to see which light came on. There were three stories and I knew
male students were usually on the ground floor in case of peeping toms. The
Accommodation Office didn't seem to mind the idea of guys being watched
which suited me fine because there, at that moment, was exactly what I'd
hoped for: the bottom left hand window lit up. It was after midnight,
no-one was around and the night was dark. I strolled up to the outside of
Wright's little pad and watched him like he was an animal in a trap. He put
some music on and sat down to take his Reeboks and socks off then pulled
his tee shirt over his head and lay back topless, lost in thought. To go
with his ponytail he had a leather thong necklace, heavy silver bracelet
and rings as well. He really was like some boy who wanted to be a
girl. That's not to say he was weedy. Since I knew I'd get to hurt him more
if he fought back, I was satisfied to see rowing had given his body at
least a bit of definition. But he was still pale and his face looked female
somehow: sort of fragile, with full lips, a thin nose and sculpted
cheekbones. If I'd passed him in the street I'd have put his looks down to
an appetite for dick and as contempt for him surged through me all over
again I thought about the possibility he might enjoy what I was about to do
to him. In that case, I'd still do it but I was going to hurt him as
well. Maybe, somehow, I'd get pictures of us at it and show Sarah what kind
of guy he was. Yeah! If me being on the game was what had made Sarah go
elsewhere, fucking Colin would certainly prove to her that what I got up to
was no more than what every other guy secretly wanted as well. Another
thing at the back of my mind was that when Colin got turned on, it would
make the wet dream I'd had with Paul less of a big deal to myself. By
forcing Colin to have sex, I could get Sarah back from him and forget what
Paul had done to me. Colin sat up, pulled over a dumbell and began some arm
curls. I squeezed my packet into shape and went into the flats.

I gave Colin's front door a soft, friendly knock and imagined him putting
down his weights and wondering who'd be paying him a call this long after
midnight. If he'd been planning a good night's sleep before lectures I was
keen to break the news he still had quite a bit to get through before
bedtime. The second I heard him release the latch on the door, I dropped my
full weight against it, knocking him backwards and forcing my way in. He
was pretty sharp to catch on that I planned to do him harm since, in the
moment I turned my back to close and lock the door, he sprang at me trying
to grab me round the neck. Heavier and more powerful than any guy into
watersports could ever be, I let him keep his arms around me and staggered
both of us backwards down the hallway into a wall. Being slammed by my full
bulk against something solid winded the fucker enough to release his grip
on me. I spun round to my gasping attacker and - before he got the air back
into his lungs - grabbed him by the throat and forced his chin upwards so
he was looking straight into my eyes, pain and panic all over his face. We
were nose to nose with him still trying to heave in his breaths.

"Ok, Colin? You make any noise or try being brave again and I'll stop you
breathing long enough to fuck your brain up permanently."

He was starting to choke for real so I let go of his throat and got hold of
the big glossy nylon covered weight between his legs. I knew from the odd
over-confident punter that the best way to get someone to agree with you is
to take possession of their privates. It certainly worked with Colin
because straight after his gasp of pain he looked like he was just begging
me to tell him what he could do for me. Moving backwards and leading him by
his bollocks I got the two of us into the lounge.

"Give me your hand."

Colin raised his arm and I swapped my hold on his nuts for a finger lock
sore enough to force him down onto his knees in front of me. His face was
contorted with agony as, with just one hand, I squeezed hard enough to
crack bones.

"You fuck. You don't know what you've done, do you?"

"No...no!. Please: you're making a mistake. I haven't done anything. I'm a
student."

"I fucking know you are, mate. I know just who you are. You're the guy
whose just had his dick inside my girlfriend."

His look changed to real terror now, but - not knowing I'd seen him at it -
he was trying to shake his head as if it must have been some other guy. I
had no interest in an argument. I released my finger lock and pushed him
hard enough in the face to send him over onto his back then turned round to
find his phone. I could have unplugged it but my anger was flowing freely
now so I kicked the socket right off the wall and whipped back round to
face my prey again.

He was sprawling backwards towards his bedroom, trying to escape. Rowing
obviously improved agility since seeing the fury on my face got him
striaght up onto his feet and through the doorway, before I'd even got back
across the lounge. I was behind him pretty fast, and even with his back to
me, he was under my control again in seconds. I twisted one of his arms up
his back to hold it while taking a handful of his usefully long blonde
hair, pulling his head back so his body was arched outwards and his cheek
was against mine.

"You're not gonna get away from me, pal, so you better stop trying."

"All right, all right. Ah! You're going to break my bloody arm."

"Yes, I easily could. What did you think? Did you think you could take
Sarah off me without a fight?"

"No. She said...you didn't want her any more. I didn't know. I thought you
were splitting."

I'd eased off the leverage I had on his arm. Now I doubled it. He howled.

"Why. The fuck. Would we be splitting up, Colin?"

"Arrrgh! She said you were gay...she said you were gay."

Beyond anger, or even rage, not able to think about Sarah slandering me
like that to someone I'd actually seen fucking her, I threw her boyfriend
onto his bed. Not sure whether he had a fracture or not he stayed gasping
into his duvet. I was in the right mood to fuck and kill him then go home
and do the same to Sarah but, as usual, at my angriest, I caught control of
myself. I took my jacket off, still watching Colin squirming in front of me
then sat down beside him on his bed.

"She told you that?"

"Yeah, it wasn't my fault. You're name's Noah, yeah? I just met her at a
club. She was pissed. Fucking hell, my arm."

I patted him on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I guess if she's been telling you lies, it isn't your fault, is
it?"

"No way. I thought I was doing you a favour, honestly. She said you didn't
do it with women any more."

He was less scared of me. He thought he'd found a way of dodging the
attack. Maybe he was thinking I'd be buying him a drink to apologise, or
invite him round to fuck my woman in front of me again. I let him relax. I
wanted him off guard. I waited until - still massaging his shoulder and
moaning about the pain I'd caused - he began to sit up.

"Look, this is between you and Sarah. I don't want trouble. You're going to
have to go."

"Uh-huh. Yep. Ok. I'll go."

I got up from his bed and picked my jacket up from the floor. With my back
towards Colin, I fumbled in one of the pockets.

"Oh no. Hang on. I can't go yet. I haven't fucked you."

"What?"

I turned round pointing a small, heavy, silver replica pistol towards the
appalled face of my girlfriend's spunky new lover. The only thing it had
ever shot were caps to start track races but it may as well have been real,
because whatever happened - whether Colin believed he might get a fatal
bullet wound or not - I was going to have him. As it turned out, he had no
problem beleiving I was fucked off enough to kill him because as well as
immediately stressing out every inch of him, I could see in his eyes he was
ready to say or do anything to get out of the situation he was in. For the
first time since I'd arrived at Paul's five hours before I felt certain I
was the one controlling things. I could relax. Colin wasn't bad looking. He
was scared of me. I hated him. I was going to fuck him. Nothing else
mattered.

"First you're going to get undressed. Then I'm going to tie you up. Then
you're going to let yourself get fucked up the backside by another man. Ok,
Col?"

I smiled as his look changed from open fear of the gun to cold
understanding that I meant what I said.

"Lie down on your front"

He turned slowly, moving fully onto the bed and lying on his face with his
arse towards me. He was still topless and I could see the muscle definition
of his lean, broad back and shoulders. I liked the glossy material covering
his asscheeks and thought agian what I'd thought before, that in some ways
a good round muscular butt was a hotter prospect than a pair of tits. While
Colin lay there wondering what came next, I took my time, looking round his
bedroom for something to keep his fists out of the way with. Hanging with
his rowing medals was an Athletcis Union tie. I took it and got on top of
him, my knee hard against his back.

"Put your wrists behind your neck."

Obedient and silent, he did what he was told. Thanks to one-handed knot
practice in the Sea Scouts, I looped the tie firmly round his right and
bound it safely to his left. He grunted as I drew his tether tight.

This was like a game. Colin was like a living blow-up doll. He was shit
scared of me so I could do what I liked with him. He wasn't some trick I
had to bother pleasuring, the only cock I needed to prime was my own. Once
his hands were bound behind his neck, I got down on top of him. It was good
to feel a fit, warm body under me. I liked his smell, I liked his silence;
I liked feeling my cock pressed between the young globes of his arse. I
humped my crotch against him, massaging a response out of my willing
dick. I knew Colin would feel the woody his buttocks were producing from me
and I wanted him to know it was there, to get more and more scared as he
felt the size of prick his asshole was going to have to accommodate. I was
still holding the barrel of the pistol at his cheek but I was free to
smooth my other hand up the firm ridges and pads of his oblique, abdominal
and pectoral muscles and then underneath him to squeeze at his breast. His
body was in good shape. I thurst harder down on him, again and again. His
face had been buried in his quilt, but now he turned it sideways for air. I
pressed the barrel of the pistol to the back of his head to stop him from
resisting as I opened my mouth against his neck. I kissed him hard enough
to draw a bruise, hoping to mark him in a way he couldn't hide from his
friends. I licked up to his ear, softly biting his lobe then whispering to
him.

"I've had your kind before, Colin. You might not think you're going to like
being buggered but you will. You're gonna enjoy this, man. I'm gonna hurt
you but you're such a slut of a guy you're gonna like it."

I lifted my groin up far enough to pull open my fly and drag out the still
growing spear of my prick. I jerked on it a few times to harden it up then
yanked the back of Colin's trackpants down and pushed myself home into the
cleavage of his asscheeks, rubbing and pressing until I was sure I had my
helmet poking at the tight little orifice of his butt. All that separated
my cock and his ringpiece were the skimpy Casanova cotton briefs he'd worn
to bed with my girlfriend. It was tempting to start fucking him right there
and then, but glancing up I realised any of his mates getting back late
from a club and looking in his window could've watched me at it. I got up
and - with my dick still flag-polling up out of my jeans and never turning
my back on Colin - I closed his curtains. Now we were alone and he could
lose his virginity to me in private.

I made him watch me while, one-handedly, I unbuttoned my shirt. His eyes
glanced down to my raging, full-sized hard-on. For all I knew, it was the
first erect prick he'd ever seen on another guy and I hoped it was a sight
that scared the shit out of him. I pulled my shirt off with the gun still
on him then kicked off my shoes, unpeeled my socks with my feet and dropped
my jeans. Now I was naked: my cock was aching for action and I felt randy
as a stag. Was I really going to rape another guy? Too fucking right I
was. And I knew why. Undressed, angry and aroused I was going to force the
bastard because it would mean I'd had him just like he'd had Sarah; it
would humiliate him even more than he'd humiliated me and - if I knew
anything - he'd wind up liking it which would mean that if Sarah was going
to go round calling me a fag she'd have to admit her new boy was every bit
as bad.  I moved closer to Colin so I was standing at the side of his bed,
less than half a metre from his head. He was following orders and keeping
his eyes on me. I looked right back at him, and while I thought about him
fucking my woman I began long, slow, hard stroking on my dong. I pumped
myself as hard as I'd ever been, ready to fuck him while the weapon in my
other hand kept his attention focussed on me. I knelt down on the edge of
my bed, bringing my helmet close enough to his face for him to hear and
smell the hot wetness of my cock. He shut his eyes as I rubbed my dick
against his forehead, my big tight bollocks against his nose and
mouth. Doing that to another guy was such a horny, powerful thing I
could've creamed right there and then, but I was no way ready for it to be
over yet. I moved back off the bed, round behind him and pulled him up by
his bound wrists. When he was on his feet, I pushed him next door back to
his main room and sat down on the sofa with him standing in front of me. I
sat back, looking at his crotch, right at where his limp but weighty length
bulged against shiny dark silver nylon.

"You sexy for it yet, Col?"

He wasn't saying anything and I could understand that. I grinned, locked my
ankles behind his and began tugging on my shaft again, knowing I was about
to see what he least wanted to show me: his naked tackle. For a slim built
guy, he had a pretty fair body: lean, stacked muscle and the kind of 'here
I am' posture that made his helplessness while I had my way with him even
more of a turn on. I was gaining some respect for him as I leaned forward
and drew his trackpants down. I uncovered a white, close-fitting ,well
filled pouch and paused to take another few beats at my cock. Then,
finally, his keks were round his knees and I was looking directly at his
well-hung tool. His crotch was light on pubic hair, which I liked, and
heavy on dick, which was also good. Keeping my eyes and gun on his upper
half, I leaned down to help him step out of his clothes then, there we
were: two boys in the buff together, one about to be sexually assaulted by
the other.

I've seen a lot of guys' privates in my time - ugly ones, fit ones - and I
can tell you not many look as good as Colin Wright's. It was
well-proportioned flesh he had slung there between thick young rowers
thighs. Big, downy, egg-sized balls and a smooth, neat, loaded cock : but I
couldn't forget where he'd been using it less than an hour before. If I'd
checked I could bet the smell of her was still on him. My own dick was
stiff and more than ready for business but I could wait if it meant getting
things just right. I stood up and guided Colin to his bathroom. Never
dropping my guard, I got the light on and started his shower then told him
to get in the stall and get wet. He couldn't wash himself since his wrists
were still behind his neck so at his washbasin, I rolled a bar of soap over
and over in my left hand until I had a palmfull of lather to use on him. I
made Colin turn to face me and cupped my sudsy fingers round his nuts. I
lifted the length of his limp but hefty penis and worked it in my
hand. Massaging soap around him got me thinking I ought to be putting more
effort into getting Colin hard. I wasn't arsed whether he wanted sex or not
but I obviously hadn't got him going so far and it seemed like a challenge
to make him admit he liked me. I soaped his cock - foreskin forward,
foreskin back - until there could be no trace of my girlfriend anywhere
near it then I got him turned round and let the water do the rest. With his
back towards me I tried out a couple of professional moves for turning a
guy on. I smoothed my hand over his thickset shoulder then down his back to
his tail, patted his rump then slid one single slippy finger into the crack
between his butt cheeks. I pushed more and more firmly as I pressed closer
to the lips of his ass then gently fingered him in earnest. No
deal. Colin's little ring stayed tight as a knot. For my own benefit, and -
annoyed with him for resisting, to prove I could do what I liked - I
pressed my hand on further down between his legs to hold and squeeze the
full sack hanging under his cock. My wrist was still flush against the
g-spot of his anus and his balls were rolling in my palm, but still Colin's
prick stayed slack. I leaned forward to cut off the water, gave his
bollocks a quick dry with one of his towels, then got him out of the shower
and pushed him back into the lounge. Even if he wasn't excited enough for
sex, he was clean and - up for it or not - it was time to start fucking
him.

Being naked with a guy whose hard on was all for him might have been a
scary new situation for Colin, but I was in my element. I felt like you do
at kick-off for the second half of a football match you know you're going
to win. I knew I could do things to Colin he couldn't possibly avoid being
turned on by. And the fact that seducing him - making him admit he wanted
to be fucked by me - would add to my revenge on him and Sarah, doubled my
determination to be professional with him. Inside myself, I'd been damping
down my fury to get a hot, loving thing on the go between us; just the
right mood for Colin to fool himself into getting fucked by another guy for
the first time.

"You know I'm going to break your neck if you pull any bravery shit on me,
right Col? I'm definitely, definitely going to do it to you and it's gonna
be nicer for you if you just relax and let it happen."

I laid the pistol down well out of his way and stepped up closer to
him. He'd lost some tension now he didn't think he was going to get shot
any more and he looked at me properly, trying to bargain.

"You can force me to do anything right now, but think about it sensibly,
mate: I don't even want your girlfriend so you could end up in court for
doing this to me all for nothing."

I ignored him and ran my hands over the sensitive muscles of his underarms,
gripping his packed biceps and then circling my fingers in the soft hair at
his armpits before running my palms down the smooth, trim sides of his
body. I lifted a hand and slid it between the back of his head and his
firmly tied wrists, pulling his face against mine. Kissing guys, kissing
women; it's the same soft-hard, wet-warm sexy feeling whoever you do it
with so, as Colin opened his mouth to me, I had high hopes he'd stop
noticing I wasn't a girl and start letting himself go. He wasn't fighting
my tongue so some of his resistance had gone. I took the tip of my dick in
my hand to squeez myself while I ate at his face. He tasted good and the
idea of getting off with a guy who'd got off with Sarah was turning me
on. I wanted him badly. But the back of the hand that I was using to rub my
cock was against Colin's balls and I could feel he still wasn't keen enough
for sex to get hard. Maybe a close encounter with the truncheon he'd given
me would put the right ideas in his head. I stopped kissing him and moved
my hand from his hair to his shoulder and pushed downwards. He knew just
where he was expected to go. Once he was on his knees I smoothed my hand
round the back of his neck and tried pulling his lips towards my balls. He
looked up at me,

"I don't want to suck you dick."

Seeing my fully pumped organ so near his mouth, thinking about his tongue
round my root, about him swallowing it to the back of his throat and then
pistoning it in and out of his lips was going to be a difficult pleasure to
postpone. But you can't take every chance you get to shoot at goal and I
thought that letting him off his first date with cock-sucking might be a
good move tactically. So, instead of putting my helmet against his lips, I
made do with a few long strokes at myself while pushing him down onto his
back. He untangled his legs and lay there with his hands behind his head
and his dick freely available, unwillingly exposed while I jacked off over
him.

The whole situation with Colin had made me about as horny as I'd ever let
myself get with another guy and the fact that Colin's hot-looking prick was
still lying slack against his nuts was starting to piss me off. I got him a
cushion from his sofa and put it behind him so the way he'd been tied up
wasn't so uncomfortable, trying to show him I was his friend; that he could
trust me: that it was safe for us to get turned on together. On my knees
beside him, I cupped my hand around his cheek as I kissed him again. It was
getting so I was less worried about him sleeping with Sarah than about him
not wanting to sleep with me. As I sat up again I let the backs of my
fingers drag gently over his chest and stomach to lightly circle the
erogenous zones surrounding his crotch. Deliberately not touching his
privates themselves I traced around them like they were too precious to
approach directly.

"Man, no wonder Sarah got you in the sack. You've got a really nice packet,
you know...oh yeah, that's a beautiful set of tools you got, Colin. I bet
the girls fucking love it, don't they?"

I looked from his groin to his face, hoping his eyes would be shut and that
there'd be a smile on his face while he lapped up my praise for his
tackle. But no; he was looking up at the ceiling as straight-faced as he
had been since I'd got his pants down. I tried providing an incentive for
him to give me what I wanted.

"Tell you what, you get this thing up for me, let me give you a bit of a
rub and we'll forget about the rest. The thing is now you've seen my stiffy
I can't untie you until I've seen yours."

"I can't get a fucking hard on for you."

"Yes, Colin, you can."

I lifted his penis and rolled back his foreskin, slowly uncovering the pale
pink privacy of his head. I liked the sight of his little hole and the
ridge circling his shaft and I liked thinking no guy other than Colin
himself had seen more of his cock. I let his dick roll back into its hiding
place, paused then bared it again; providing Colin with the kind of slow
handjob that couldn't help but make him erect. After a few tugs, I put my
hand flat on the firmness of his stomach, leaned forward and let a pool of
warm saliva from my mouth drop onto his uncovered cock. Now both of us
could hear the sound of his spit-lubricated dick as I wanked him off. I got
up onto my knees so he could see and touch the unenlargeable hard on he'd
given me, but still - fuck knows how - his own dick stayed under control.

"I know you're fighting it. And I'm telling you, you're either going to get
a bench on for me or you're going to get fucked. Come on, Col, make it good
and stiff."

"It's no good. I've tried before. My younger brother..."

But I didn't want to hear excuses. My balls had been aching over him for
half an hour. He'd had a horn with Sarah so he could either offer me the
same or I was going to do what I'd been longing to do for years to one of
the time-wasting, trouble-making, dick-teasing twats I'd been with, which
was to flip them over with their ass in the air and fuck them so hard I was
sure the only person whose pleasure mattered was mine. Colin wasn't a trick
and he wasn't my girlfriend and he wasn't Paul either, but he would do as
someone to take all of it out on. And as for the consequences, I didn't
give a flying fuck for them. Let whatever happened to me afterwards,
happen. I moved so I was kneeling between Colin's legs, my hand still
working back and forwards on his dick. I supported myself with my other arm
as I leaned over him. We were nose to nose, his flaccid penis rolling
around just under the eight thick hard inches I was all too ready to use on
him.

"I'm not giving you another chance Colin. You got no idea what I'm prepared
to do. It doesn't take much does it? All I want is to see this good-looking
jake of yours switched on. Come on, make it tasty for me. Show me what a
big one it can be"

His cock stayed soft. I let it go. I moved from between his thighs up his
body so I had my knees in his armpits and my groin right over his face. The
tight, churning sack of my spunk-filled testicles was a millimetre or two
above his nose. I began squeezing the tip of my dick again as I moved my
knees further apart to lower my balls against his face. I jerked off
looking down at my scrotum moving against Colin's nostrils and lips. If I'd
been calmer I'd have tried persuading him to take one of my bollocks in his
mouth, but, glancing back to check on the non-progress of his hard-on, I'd
started to lose interest in anything but using his arse. He might have won
the battle over his cock, but he was going to lose the war for his
backside. Maybe he didn't fancy me; but he was going to get shagged by me.

I got to my feet and hauled him up by the tie round his wrists, glad to
hear his gasps of pain. I pushed him so he stumbled over towards his
desk. On the desk was where I was going to have him; where I'd been
planning to have him even when I'd offered to let him off full sex in
return for getting his erection. I pushed the textbooks and file paper
lying around onto the floor and gestured for him to sit down. It was an
old-fashioned office table, easily wide and strong enough to take his
weight but - sensing my change of mood - he wasn't keen to get on it. I
turned to where I'd left the gun, but I didn't need it. Colin parked his
bare ass where he wrote his essays and I pushed him firmly onto his back so
his feet were off the floor. He was breathing hard; scared as fuck of what
was about to happen to him. As for me, I'd never gone this far ever. But
I'd watched enough hard porn with my tricks to know all the right moves. I
took Colin by his calf muscles and lifted his legs so his ankles were over
his head and let them rest on my shoulders. His ass cheeks were split so
that between the cute globes of his butt the tight fissure of his prime
little gash was on show for me. Just like mouths, there's no difference at
all between a guy's rear entry and a girl's. And I'd certainly done it that
way with women before so what difference would there be, except that the
idea of taking a young sportsman like Colin had my cock aching like no
woman ever had. I rolled him further back so his knees were over his chest
and took a good look at the golden-haired boy-pussy my dick was about to
press into. Colin had his head back and I didn't care about his feelings
any more anyway so it was for my benefit not his that I pushed his knees to
raise him up still more and lowered my face to his exposed backside to lick
him under his balls and round and round his slot. I was too carried away to
worry about the reasons I'd refused to rim anyone before. Now he was wet
all I wanted was to feel my cockhead arriving at the juicy target I'd found
for it. I brought my dick forward, drew my sheath right back and pressed it
home into the cleavage of Colin's ass. I wanked my shaft while wiping and
jabbing my crown against his ring. I was panting like an animal, desperate
to fuck him; to feel myself coming right inside him.

I was turned on enough to do anything but there was no way I could see how
I could get it up Colin unless he helped me out. For the first time since
I'd lain him back, I looked away from his rear entrance to his face. He was
watching me with loathing, biting his lips, real tears of humiliation in
his eyes at what I was doing to him. It was a shock. It threw me.

"You gotta let me do this to you, man. I'm so fucking hot for it. Sorry. It
won't hurt you."

That was it. I'd apologised. Hearing how pathetic it sounded, an armed
rapist aplogising to his victim and seeing the sudden anger that what was
meant to be friendliness aroused in Colin - realising the situation I'd set
up - I knew I'd gone too far. What I was doing to him was worse than what
he'd done to me. It wasn't revenge any more, I was doing this stuff because
it turned me on. And the moment doubt flashed across my face, Colin knew
he'd caught me out. I'd stumbled and he wasn't going to let me recover.

"You're a bastard. I hope you die."

"You fucked her. I fuck you."

"She wanted me to. You've got a gun. Sarah wanted sex with me. I don't want
sex with you. All I did was what she wanted. You're raping me"

I could see he had a point. I wished I'd gagged him because I definitely
didn't have an answer ready. I'd been banking on him wanting it in the end
but if he wasn't turned on by now, it was never going to happen. I really
would have to force it on him and I wasn't sure any more that a rapist was
something I wanted to be.

Seeing my uncertainty gave him the upper hand. Not wasting his power, he
put his feet against my chest and pushed me backwards with force. He heaved
his hands over his head so they were in front of him and tore them out of
the tie. One easy punch from me and he would have been flattened but I was
lost, confused. I couldn't find whatever it was that had been driving me
until then. While I stood dumb with stuff crashing around my mind, I let
Colin spring past me towards the gun. Instead of pointing it at me, he
checked the chamber. Even though I'd nearly forced my dick into him and
with his asshole still wet from my mouth, his first thought was to make
sure the only weapon he had to use against me was unloaded. I felt sick.

Once or twice in a football match, I've taken things personally and decided
to sort another player out while the game's still on. If you've been badly
fouled or held back or let some mouthy fucker get to you then switching
your attention from scoring goals to taking someone out feels like a good
decision. First he realises you're after him, then he gets all tough, then
he gets scared, then he gets hurt. And after you've clattered into him
maybe you get sent off, but it doesn't matter because he's lying there with
a broken shin or the fear that he's never going to have children now. No:
the couple of times I've gone after someone it isn't when I'm walking off
the pitch that I feel sorry, it's when the changing room door swings shut
and I'm alone that I know I've got things wrong; that rage has taken me
somewhere I didn't mean to be. Standing naked in Colin's lounge while he
rushed his clothes back on was just like the moment after a red card when
it occurs to you that you're the bad guy. You're the one that's left your
team still out there a man down. You're the one at full time the coach is
going to ball out the most. You want to undo it all. But you can't. I
sighed deeply, ran a hand through my hair and looked down at my softening
cock. He knew he wasn't going to get fucked any more and Colin was busy as
a bee. Dressed and confident, he came back from his bedroom with my clothes
and shoes and chucked them at me.

"You can just fuck off now. Fuck off. You dirty bastard."

I pulled my jeans on trying to think of something to say.

"Look at you. What were you thinking of? What, Sarah's going to fall in
love with you again because you've raped some guy she fancies? Forcing me
was supposed to convince her you were a real straight guy was it?"

All I wanted was to be dressed and out of there. But Colin could see the
subject he was getting onto was doing me some harm. While I buttoned up my
shirt, he got perky enough to have a shove at me. Instead of shutting him
up with a swift left to the face, I let myself stumble backwards then knelt
down and did my shoes, deliberately making myself look weaker so he got
braver. I was only half-listening because I knew the worst trouble would
start when I was outside alone thinking what I was going to do next. But if
laying into me made him feel better, he could do his worst. He'd won
everything. And I'd handed it to him on a plate. When I got back to my feet
I was expecting him to take a swing or two at me, but I should've known:
any guy Sarah was into wasn't going to be the kind to do anything
obvious. Colin was calm. And he was looking straight at me, no fear and no
real hate. I guessed what was coming was going to be worse than having to
let myself take a slap or two.

"You've lost Sarah, right? I mean that's it. Yeah, she's not just a
one-night stand. I've known her a year but she wouldn't leave you. But I
think she will now. What do you think? Do you think she will? I think what
you've just done to me, I think that might put her off you just a bit. So
you've lost Sarah. And I can lose you your course and your mates and go to
the police and all that as well can't I? Eh? You jerk."

I turned away, putting my jacket on, not giving a fuck.

"Listen, Noah. Sarah's told me a lot about you. I know what she's meant to
you. I feel sorry for you but, I tell you, I'm going to make it worse than
losing your girlfriend unless you listen to me."

I stayed still.

"Sarah thinks you believe all guys feel the way you do about blokes. She's
told me you're a rentboy or whatever. Well, look, I knew I was never going
to be able to get off with you, even if I'd wanted to. My step-brother's
gay. I've slept with him. It doesn't turn me on. I know what's going on in
your head."

Right. This was going to be good. He knew more about shagging guys than me,
he knew me better than I knew myself. I didn't look up, but if he was going
to have his say, he was going to have his say, so when he told me to take a
seat I did. Still on his feet, not excited, not angry - pretty gently all
things considered - my ex-girlfriend's new lover began setting me straight
on a thing or two.

"You're holding onto Sarah not because you love her but because having her
means you can sleep with men and still hide from the truth. Well, I'm
telling you: my step-brother, Tim, was fourteen when he started wanting to
do the same stuff you do. I was eighteen, I had no problem with any of that
and when he asked if he could try things out on me that turned him on I let
him. I love him, I know what it's like being fourteen and I wanted to help
him out but - no matter what he did, no matter what I did - I couldn't get
a hard-on with him. I wouldn't care if I wasn't, but I'm straight and
there's no way I'm ever going to like doing it with another bloke. Tim
fancied me for a year or so but he didn't want it all one-sided so he moved
on, Noah. He stopped having a girlfriend just because all his mates had one
and he lost interest in me because he wanted something more. He's sixteen,
right, and he's sorted. He's out to my Mum and Dad, he's honest with his
friends and he's on his way. What he's not doing is fucking guys for money
and using his girlfriend for cover. He's not forcing someone to have sex
with him with a gun. You think all guys feel the way you do about blokes
because that's what you want to believe: that everyone is just like
you. Why don't you have the guts my sixteen year old brother's got and be
yourself?"

If I hadn't lost control two hours before when I'd discovered Colin and
Sarah he wouldn't have been able to make me listen to him, so perhaps it
was my fault I had to sit through his sermon. I wasn't going to lose
control again, no matter how much I wanted to escape. Some of the stuff
he'd said twisted things inside me but no reaction was the response I'd
planned and no reaction was what he got. I think he was expecting me to
kiss his hand and run off to ask my parents if they knew any queers I could
settle down with for the rest of my life, because he seemed pretty
disappointed I didn't have anything to say.

"Anyway, anyway. I don't care about you, basically. But I'm not going to
let you hurt Sarah any more."

"You're telling her about this, then?"

"No way. No way. You're going to tell her. You're going to tell her you
attacked me and you're going to admit to her you're gay. I'm meeting her in
the Union at lunchtime tomorrow and if she doesn't believe you're moving
out and that it's OK with you she's seeing me then I'll make sure everybody
knows what you've just tried doing to me. And I got no worries saying it in
court, either"

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

I got up without another word, crossed his room, went down his hallway,
opened his front door and left his flat. Out of the block, over the estate
and into the park I thought and felt nothing. Whatever shit I was in I knew
blaming myself would be no different from cursing a team I was captaining
for losing. It was no good thinking about other things I could have done to
Colin when I caught him at it and it was no good pretending everything was
going to be all right. On my own in the dark and hearing only the sound of
my own feet on grass and the distant city traffic I slowed down, thinking
what to do.

My first plan was hitching to Manchester and living off what I knew I could
earn on the streets. But doing a runner would mean I could never come
back. No more organised sport. No more career. I thought about Paul,
remembering myself trying to put him down and wondering what he'd think of
me now. Then I thought about Sarah. All the anger and pain of her cheating
on me, of seeing her and Colin together, of her loving him more than me,
and of me wrecking things forever by jumping him; all that frustration and
regret surged back. I couldn't handle it. So, coming out of the park onto
the street, I stopped thinking about her and instead of crossing towards
our house, I followed a road away from it.



It was nearly two am so the only traffic was taxis, the only people around
students getting back from clubs. I had my hands in my jacket pockets, my
shoulders hunched, my head down, my mind on other things so I was surprised
when someone behind me called my name. I looked back and a guy called Chris
was trotting up, all grins.

"Wow, Noah. Bloody hell! Are you all right? Oh, God, Noah: can you spare
half an hour? I'm loaded. Will you?"

He was high on speed or E or something. A regular, occasional trick for the
last three months. I'd picked him up by hanging around playing pinball
outside the Wednesday night Gaysoc Disco at the Union. He was their leader
or president or whatever. He had limp highlighted blond hair, a skinny kind
of build and a soft, excited way of talking. Classic campus homo. I liked
him because he had the good sense to prefer paying for sex with me to
getting it free from any of the fags he dealt with every day.

"What are you looking for, Chris? I'm pretty tired."

"Look, come back. Just let me at your dick. Twenty minutes, tops. I'm
gagging for it. I can't believe you're here. Pretty please, Mr Green, sir?"

"Twenty quid."

"Deal."

So, with my life in the shithouse, I let Chris rush me back to his place
for sex. I didn't want to talk much and I didn't have to. He got me into
his bathroom to change into the combat gear and boots I usually wore for
him and within half an hour of leaving Colin's I was knocking on his
bedroom door pretending to be his soldier-boy lover on leave. He'd stripped
down to a tee shirt and boxers and if Colin's dick was one end of a scale,
Chris' was the other because the moment I held him I could feel his instant
hard-on pushing us apart. I'd always assumed the stuff I made up to say to
my customers made a big difference to them but apparently not. Me standing
doing nothing while he touched me up seemed to be more than enough for
Chris to get off on. He squeezed at my arm muscles and groped at my
crotch. He kissed my face and felt my ass. He put me in a chair and stood
there hand-fucking himself while I sat watching him. It didn't seem to
matter who I was; it was like the real me was unnecessary. All Chris needed
was someone with a dick, a gym-worked body and some army trousers. For the
first time ever as a prostitute I felt used.

Chris' face was getting hotter and his hand was moving faster. For a second
I thought he might let loose there and then and I'd be off but, panting, he
released his cock and got to his knees between my legs. He pushed my knees
apart and rubbed his hands up and down the solid muscle of my thighs. Under
worn out Khaki it was obvious my dick, big as it was, was still limp. Chris
didn't mind. With his fist back around his shaft, he worked on himself more
slowly as he pushed the soft material tighter up around my balls. I wasn't
putting any effort into it, but with his fingers gently teasing back and
forwards over my covered dick, I began getting hard. He smiled and jerked
harder on his pole as he watched my penis filling out. I relaxed. After
everything that had happened, I didn't care what happened next. I put my
head back and shut my eyes. Chris took a while longer pumping at his dick
while fantasising about the length of army hard-on he was about to set free
then I felt him easing down the zip on my combats and let him pull them off
from under me. He breathed warmly over the sensitive tip of my erection and
- with nothing to gain any more by resisting it - I allowed my mind to
concentrate on the hot, wet valet wash my pounding organ was about to
get. Chris licked slowly up it like some big, tasty stick of rock then
pulled back my foreskin and put his lips to my pisshole and kissed the head
of my dick. He knew what he was doing. I tried imagining it was Colin who
was worshipping my prick like this but the memory of him resisting me began
to turn me off. As Chris formed his lips into a soft ring and pressed his
head down my rod I wanted to forget that it was him and, with my eyes still
closed, I suddenly realised whose throat it was I most wanted my cock to be
sliding down. It was a surprise to me, but it was Paul. Thinking of him on
the field in his football kit, in the showers soaping his body, naked
against me in his bed, my dick stretched even harder into Chris' face. I
really wanted this blow job. I slid my hands into Chris' hair and guided
the pumping of his head. Lifting myself up from the chair I forced more and
more of my cock into his gob. His chin pressed hard against my bollocks as
I forced him to swallow all of me. And as he sucked more and more eagerly
at my root he yanked faster and faster on his own. At last, the pistoning
of his head wasn't up to what I wanted to feel. I pulled my stiff wet dick
free from his mouth. Keeping his face close to it, I began hard wanking, my
cock bumping against his lips and nose. He started to groan as his prick
unloaded in big squirts that fell back onto both of us. And then I was
coming too, thick ropes of sperm jetting into his hair, down his cheeks and
off his chin. The whole thwarted anger I'd felt all night burst out of me
and for the first time in hours, I sank back into the chair, feeling
released. Chris laughed as he wiped his face clean of the spunk storm with
which I'd drenched him.

If I'd been my usual self Chris coming would have been the final whistle.
I'd already have had my money and I'd be getting back into my own clothes
and heading to the sports centre or my own place for a shower. Hanging
around afterwards only encouraged the idea that there was something more to
what we'd done than selling a service. Chris, twenty-four-hour-a-day out
homosexual that he was, had had a lot of casual sex and I knew a big
attraction for him of getting off with me was that it was nice and
tidy. After he'd got his end away, he didn't need to worry about anything
else. But this was an unusual night. While he turned away to find the cash
he owed me, I stayed in his chair looking round at his room, trying to
imagine what it was like to be him. He was doing maths and I knew he was
good at his course and that - because of all this welfare shit he did for
the Union - he was pretty popular with people in University management. I'd
seen him on campus laughing with the Vice Chancellor, heard that he was the
first Union officer to be called if a student was threatening suicide. I
wanted to talk to him but I didn't know what to say. Luckily, being
half-female, Chris never let a silence last for long.

"I'm ever so pleased I saw you. We showed our video to the Faculty deans
today and, well, you're our star witness, of course, and I was sitting
there in the dark watching you and I thought, oh my God, he's the most
beautiful man alive and if I don't have it off with him soon I'm going
to..."

He was talking quick and giggly like a schoolgirl because, I guess, he was
nervous of me and because he was high. But listening to him prattling away
and noticing his Westlife Forever posters and the male centrefolds around I
lost any interest in asking for his advice. I imagined what the other lads
on my course would make of Chris. And then I remembered Colin's ultimatum
and felt not just alone but afraid as well. If I had to swap Sarah for
someone like Chris, if I had to trade my girlfriend for some queen then
what the fuck was the point of anything? Why bother working or playing
football or holding onto your friends if every time you went home the camp
twat everyone laughed at on tv sitcoms was waiting for you?

Alone in the bathroom I changed from being Chris' fetish back into my own
clothes. It was the third time in six hours I'd pulled on the same jeans
and shirt - after Paul, after Colin, after Chris - and each time I'd felt
worse than the time before. This time, I didn't even bother cleaning myself
up. Suddenly, I was panicking about the state I was in and thought again
about asking Chris for help. But when I got back to his room he'd closed
and locked his door, no longer bothered about me now he'd paid his twenty
quid. I dumped his spunk stained combats on the floor and left, glad be out
in the dark again. It was still mild but I was too tired to avoid home any
more. I walked down sleeping streets and across empty main roads trying to
imagine the next day. I was meeting a mate, Nick, to go to the gym at nine
before a lecture at eleven and then....But soon after that lecture Colin
would be seeing Sarah and - no matter what else happened - instead of Sarah
and me meeting the usual Friday night crowd at the Union it would be just
me or just her and one of us would be explaining that we'd split and
someone would ask why and maybe a couple of people would already know the
truth: it turned out I was a closet fag who'd tried to rape another guy. I
didn't want to consider any of it. I turned into our street and emptied my
mind as I approached the house. However troubled I'd been about Paul the
last time I'd arrived home, things were worse now. I opened the front door
and, without turning on any lights, locked up and climbed the stairs. I
went into the spare room where I had my study and my weights and stood at
the sink. I opened my shirt and the front of my jeans, using an old cloth
to wash away the come from Chris that was clinging to me. I looked up at
the mirror and saw how sad I looked. None of this was my fault: if being on
the game was wrong then how come so many people were ready to pay me for
it? If having my life wrecked was punishment for attacking Colin, what
punishment did he get for a year-long affair with my girlfriend? And -
worst of all - if he was right, and I really was fooling myself about being
straight, then what the fuck had I done to deserve that? But that was
bollocks. My fault or not, fair or not, I was still going to have to deal
with it all. I brushed my teeth, took my clothes off, switched the light
out and headed for the bedroom. I could hear Sarah breathing, slow and
deep, dreaming about nursing or Colin or whether she could persuade me to
give her and her new boyfriend my house. I climbed into bed, lying on my
back and sighing as, in the dark, I looked up at the ceiling.
Unconsciously, as she always did, Sarah moved to be closer to me, putting
her hand on my chest. I could feel her naked body against mine but -
despite the revenge I'd taken on Colin - I still felt angry and betrayed
about seeing her cheating on me. I thought about how I'd fallen asleep with
Paul earlier, about protecting him and about how much he'd wanted me. For a
moment I wished I was with him instead of with Sarah. Then I remembered how
weak he'd seemed and the contempt I'd felt about the idea of one guy
falling in love with another and then - worst of all - about how off I'd
been with him when I left. I should have been a nicer guy because if being
treated badly by me felt anything like being cheated on by Sarah, I felt
really sorry for him. Sarah moved away, rolling over onto her other side. I
closed my eyes thinking that - even if Paul heard what I'd done to Colin
and hated me for it - maybe I could still help myself feel less like a
bastard by offering him more sex. Yeah, that's the Noah Green way all
right: a bastard with a body other people want to fuck. And that's ok with
me, I thought and drifted off.



Real Time



1

COPYRIGHT ( Alistair Stevenson 2002