Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2007 14:42:14 +0000
From: Jo Vincent <joad130@hotmail.com>
Subject: Mystery and Mayhem at St Mark's: 29b
Mystery and Mayhem At St Mark's
by
Joel
Some of the Characters Appearing:
Mark Henry Foster The storyteller
Tristan (Tris) Price-Williams His well-proportioned boyfriend
Dr Eric Mays Master of St Mark's
Dr Percival Matthews Dean of St Mark's
Rev Dr Basil Henson A very astute Chaplain
Dr Crispin Palfrey An erudite archaeologist
Dr Jenny Masterton A second informed archaeologist
Mr Nathanial Temple A third, younger, archaeologist
Mr Aubrey Fullerton QC An eminent Law don
Charles Fane-Stuart Research Student and Assistant to the Bursar
Ivo Carr Mark's cousin and recent graduate
Dr Porter The Modern Languages don
29. Zack's Party then Cambridge. Wow! (Part Two)
I checked off each letter and wrote the corresponding uncoded letter
underneath.
P Z L N L B O
T H E R E I S
"Could it be in English this time?" I asked.
"We must check the rest," the Master said.
I carried on to the end not daring to read:
G H X Q B D L
N O G U I L E
F O Z B O P H
A S H I S T O
U B G T B F E
F I N D I A M
Z B O F E L G
H I S A M E N
I quickly wrote out the letters in the words I could read. Yes, they
were English:
THERE IS NO GUILE AS HIS TO FIND I AM HIS AMEN
The Master picked up my pad, read the sequence silently and passed it
to the Chaplain. As he did this Mr Fullerton came in, full of apologies as
he had only just got back from London. Quickly the Master explained what
had been done and that the parchment was found resting on the topmost box.
"My opinion," the eminent QC said with a laugh, "At least what is in
that topmost box belongs to the person cracking the code. If the code
wasn't cracked and the room opened any other way then the box would
belong...." Here he paused. "My opinion again, but it will have to be
argued. The whole lot might be treasure trove, in any case under the 1996
Act we'll have to inform the Coroner. Leave that to me. I think as it was
deliberately placed here with intent then it belongs to whomsoever owns the
rights in the building. But we will have to see what comes with the
boxes." He smiled at me. "I think it's between you and the College, Mark.
And by the way, in case there are any more bodies or disputes the DCI is
outside. I brought him over from the Porter's Lodge. I'll go and get him.
He's outside looking at the hole."
I handed the pad to Dr Palfrey. "May I bring that box up?" he asked.
Both I and the Master nodded. The two archaeologists went off and
soon returned, wearing white gloves, with Dr Palfrey carrying the box
carefully on a tray. It was placed on the table and I and the Master were
handed white cotton gloves as well. We waited while Mr Fullerton, Bradley
and Sergeant Woolpit came in.
The Master looked at me and smiled. "Open it, Mark."
The box was about a foot square and, although dusty, the carvings on
the lid could be seen clearly. They looked like a representation of the
Holy Family, but that would have to come later. The lid was hinged and if
it hadn't been opened since 1534 it was surprisingly easy. It was a heavy
wood and Dr Palfrey put a hand to steady it as the inside was revealed. In
the casket was a book. No dust. It appeared leather bound. I looked at
Dr Palfrey.
"Lift it out carefully and put it on the pillow."
Dr Masterson put a padded pillow on the table. I lifted out the book
and laid it on the pillow as instructed. "Now, very carefully, lift the
cover," she said.
Inside, the first page was revealed. We all gasped. A brightly
painted and inscribed page with intricate small pictures in red, green and
blue with gold edges and in black the words 'in principio erat verbum' in
ornate Gothic script.
"'In the beginning was the Word'," said the Chaplain softly.
Dr Masterton turned the page carefully. More brightly coloured
images.
An old man with a flowing beard and a halo, surrounded by a border of
stunning designs.
On the opposite page two shields, one with three knives pointing down,
the other with what looked like three whips with several strands.
"This is no doubt the lost Book of Hours of Crowland Abbey dedicated
to St Guthlac the founder of the Abbey in 700 or so," she said very
reverently. "This is one of the greatest masterpieces of mediaeval art and
was thought so by all those who saw it and wrote about it before it
disappeared. It was thought to have been destroyed when the Abbey was
sacked by the looters after the monks were turned out." She turned another
page. "This is the Calendar and then it will be in eight sections
corresponding to the hours of the day.
Look," She turned another page. "The prayers to the Virgin, 'obsecco
te,' here, and 'O intemerata' there . 'I beseech thee' and 'O Immaculate
Virgin'."
She turned another page and a doubled over piece of parchment was
there. She picked it up and laid it on the pillow beside the book. As it
opened a gold coin slid out.
"Oh no!" said Dr Palfrey, shaking his head, "It can't be!" He bent
over it and put a magnifier in his eye. "Oh, yes it is. It's one of the
rarest coins known. I think there are only about three known to be in
existence. It's the double leopard of Edward the Third. Look there's
Edward with orb and sceptre on this side...," He carefully turned the coin.
"....Yes, and there are four leopards around the cross on the other."
"Leopard," I said, "Leopardi. My Uncle and Aldo. Aldo is Count
Leopardi!"
Tris put his arm round me. "It's strange. The boy said you would
find treasure of every sort. We must tell Aldo and Uncle Francesco as soon
as possible. I think it means they will succeed here, too."
I don't think the others heard our bit of conversation as they were
too busy studying the book and the coin. Dr Masterton closed the book.
"May I say I am privileged to be able to see this. I studied the Guthlac
Roll in the British Library as part of my doctorate. I hope I will be
allowed to study this as well. It must be carefully preserved and handled.
It is in superb condition but it should be kept dry and airtight." She
shook her head. "The conditions in that chamber seem to have been ideal."
Dr Palfrey turned to the Master. "I wonder if we might bring the
other boxes up and put them somewhere where we can open them."
"The Chapel, eh, Dr Henson? Would you also supervise, please, Mr
Fullerton?"
"Of course," the Chaplain said. "Charles, here is my key. Take the
Sergeant with you as well and Jason can arrange for those trestle tables to
be put up."
Mr Fullerton went off with Charles who had been remarkably silent so
far.
Over the next hour each box was brought up after being carefully
photographed. Each had a parchment label nailed to its lid. The two
wooden chests took them all they could do to heave them up the steps and
Liam was sent for to bring the trolley. DCI Wolstencroft and the Master
spent a long time in quiet conversation side by side on the sofa. I sat at
the dining table and turned the pages of the most beautiful book I had ever
seen. Bright images, first put on those pages some six hundred years ago,
looked as fresh as if drawn yesterday. The Chaplain and Tris sat beside me
and while we contemplated the myriad smaller images between the script Ivo
returned. He was quite bemused by all that had happened and was also
bursting with news of his own. The Chaplain stood up.
"It's all too much to take in all at once. I'd better go to the
Chapel and see what's happening there. If you need me I shall be around."
The Master said he would follow. "Look after that carefully," he
said, "Whatever happens, that's yours. And so is that coin."
We were left alone though I knew the third archaeologist and the
helpers were still below. I expected they would be clearing up and
checking there was nothing else. I closed the book and laid it back
carefully in its box. I put the coin on the parchment and folded it and
placed on the top of the book and closed the lid. Ivo refused coffee. He
wanted to tell us something but seemed a bit hesitant. In the end he
blurted it out.
"I've got to tell someone just in case something goes wrong..." He
saw the bewildered looks on our faces. It wasn't like Ivo to get het up in
this way. ".....Oh, to start at the beginning. We've always thought,
that's my tutor group I mean..., .....we've always thought Dr Porter might
be something to do with Intelligence. You know, MI5 and all that. We knew
he was in Special Operations at the end of the War and he's over eighty
now, but he must still be one of their.... ....I don't know what you would
call them, like a football scout... You know.. Well, he's just asked me
if I would consider going on a special course to learn another language
with the object of being posted, I suppose, as a glorified snoop. It's one
of those ex-Eastern bloc countries, Rothenia... ...and there's been a
reinstatement of the monarchy and he's English as well as Rothenian. Of
course the Foreign Office has been caught with its knickers down and
there's only one other non-native speaker available and he's ancient as
well."
We listened attentively to this. I'd read about the country in the
papers recently. Quite a hooha. A failed coup or something.
"So are you?" asked Tris.
"What d'you think?" asked Ivo.
"Up to you," I said, "But I'd go for it."
"Usually cautious Marky," said Ivo with a smile, "You know you've
changed. I could see that last night. That visit to Ulvescott Manor?"
"Yes," I said, "I feel quite different. You'll find out when you've
been there as well."
"Funny," he said, "I really think that place has an influence. And
from what I've read in the papers there's odd things happening in Rothenia.
So I'm going to be bold and resolute - and we can leave the bloody out! I
have to phone a number first thing Monday morning, apparently my boss has
been told there might be developments, so I don't have to go in. Can I
stay here? I'll sleep on the sofa? I'll tell 'Tory something's cropped
up."
We were just finishing that conversation when the third archaeologist
came up from the cellar with a big grin on his face. "Hi, I hope I'm not
interrupting," We shook our heads collectively. "By the way I'm Nat
Temple," He pointed at Tris and me, "I know you two..."
"Oh," I said, "and this is my cousin Ivo Carr. He's just come back to
visit us."
"Thought I recognised you, too" Nat said to him, "You kicked hell out
of me that game against Emmanuel.. Year before last!" He laughed. "Just
joking. You lent me a pair of spare shorts when mine got ripped."
"Yep," said Ivo, also laughing, "You scored with your arse hanging out
and the ref blowing his whistle because everyone just stood and laughed."
"My most embarrassing moment," Nat said with a bow. "But I've got
something to show you which might be a bit embarrassing, too. Like to come
down."
He lead the way down into the room where Aubrey Devereux had been
found.
"Just to put you all in the picture, or pictures," he began. "I was
standing over there," he pointed to the corner of the room, "And I noticed
the whitewash on the wall there was flaking a bit. The only touch of damp
in the room I'd say. Being nosy I picked at it and quite a bit came away.
Look." Although the room was fairly well lit he shone a bright torch beam
at the corner.
"You can see the start," he said and pointed up. "I think it's a
wall-painting that's been covered over with white-wash. I've brushed away
several bits and I think it's a scene copied from a Greek vase or krater,
that's a wine-dish." He laughed. "I don't think it's for delicate eyes.
If it's the scene I think it is, it involves men and youths... ...being
Greek, as it were."
We went closer. There was a head of a young man in the corner and
he'd brushed away three patches and there were faint markings of bodies.
The bit half way down was half way down a body. A faint outline of a youth
having his balls fondled.
"I think this room was used for meetings of a certain kind," Nat went
on, "There's always been rumours about this College, especially as so many
of the inhabitants had more money than sense, to put it mildly, in years
gone by. You've heard of the Hellfire Club and Sir Francis Dashwood?"
Tris nodded. "Didn't they have orgies in a golden ball on a church
tower?"
"Sometime in the middle 1700's, wasn't it?" said Ivo.
"Yes, that's right. The ball's still on the church at High Wycombe."
He laughed. "And there's stories they used to dance naked in the ruins of
Medmenham Abbey nearby. I guess there were some of the lads both here and
at Oxford. I'll have to check the records around that time. But I ought
to tell you, I'm doing my doctorate on the wall paintings which covered
most of the interiors of the churches in this area. They got white-washed
over after Henry and his successors had their excursions into changing
people's beliefs and the Puritans, especially, didn't like such things."
He smiled. "I'm intrigued.
Clear the whitewash free of charge? Something for a chapter, eh?
Secular wall-paintings? There's a couple been discovered in St Albans.
Nothing like this, though!"
I was listening rather with my tongue hanging out, not quite drooling.
But all this was getting to be too much! Wall paintings as well. Orgies?
"You seem rather too intrigued," said a very canny Tris to the young
man. "Is there a special interest? I've seen you around, too. Wasn't
quite with your arse hanging out, but you didn't have a shirt on..."
Nat looked at Tris and grinned. "I know. That's why I blurted out I
knew the pair of you! Seen you before in the same state of undress as
well. Saturday night is Club night, eh?"
I laughed. "That's settled. I'll check with the Master rather than
the Chaplain at the moment if it's a bit risque. But as far as I'm
concerned you can clear it off but we'd better wait until all this other
stuff has quietened down. I have the feeling things might get rather hot
soon."
"OK," he said, "I'll tell Jeff and Fred to clear the dust and then
we'll pack up and... ...I'll keep in touch!" He disappeared through the
newly opened hole in the wall and we heard him talking to the two workers
inside.
We went up the steps in silent contemplation of these new revelations.
Just then Dr Palfrey knocked at the door. "We've started to unpack
things," he said, "Someone's tipped off the press and Anglia Television.
They want to know what's going on. Anyway, there are letters from the
Abbots of Crowland and Sempringham, and one from the priest in charge at
Fordham Abbey, saying that everything else is delivered into the safe
keeping of St Mark's College in perpetuity or until their monasteries are
reinstated. Mr Fullerton seems to think that'll cover the find. If you
like to bring the box you can see what's happening."
Tris put on a spare pair of gloves and picked up the box and I picked
up the cushion and the two of us followed Dr Palfrey to the Chapel. What a
sight. About six of the boxes had been opened and Dr Masterton was busy
photographing and talking into a recorder she had slung round her neck.
The first thing I saw was a sword in its scabbard and by it two plain
silver chalices and another with gold outside and silver inside with carved
gold handles in the shape of angels' heads. Two of the opened boxes seemed
to be full of parchment manuscripts. A small box had a paten beside it
like the one we used in the Chapel to hold the Communion wafers and there
were other things in the box as well.. I saw Mr Fullerton writing down
lists of things as they appeared as each box was opened. Mr Wolstencroft
was taking photos with a digital camera. Whippet must have been sent off
to check or guard something else
With Dr Masterton beside him the Chaplain opened another box. What
came out was most peculiar. A rectangular box of what looked like glass,
held together with thin strips of dull, silvery metal. As he placed it on
another pillow we could see what looked like a set of bones forming a hand.
We listened carefully to what Dr Masterton was saying into her recorder as
she snapped picture after picture and measured it.
"Crowland. Reliquary. Glass. Possibly silver. Twenty-one by
sixteen by sixteen centimetres. Interior. Skeletal hand resting on
plinth. Possibly jade. Query missing hand relic of St Guthlac."
She turned, saw us watching and switched off the recorder. "If
there's nothing else," she said with a real sense of awe in her voice,
"This is the find above all others. It may not look much but visitors from
all over the Europe of the time came to see this. It is recorded that many
miracles occurred just by looking at it. I think this is the relic of St
Guthlac." She looked at me. "Your book and this are so precious for the
history of monastic life. See that box over there." She pointed at
another we hadn't noticed. "There is actually a note on the lid
identifying it as plate donated by Tuvold. I know the name. He was a
generous benefactor of the Abbey. There is so much here."
We were joined by Dr Palfrey. "I want to show you this." He pointed
at the sword in its scabbard. "I won't attempt to draw it, that'll have to
be done under controlled conditions." He smiled. "It's not quite
Excalibur but this is likely to be the sword of the Prince of Wales whose
daughter the Princess Gwenllian was held prisoner in Sempringham from the
age of eighteen months around 1280 until she died in her early fifties in
the thirteen- thirties. There's a stone there now at the ruins
commemorating her as she is part of Welsh history."
The Chaplain was opening another box. "Jenny," he called to attract
Dr Masterton's attention, "Another book."
We watched as she lifted out another volume, leather-bound like mine.
She laid it on a cushion. Very carefully she opened it. She gasped.
"I know what this is," she said in very hushed tones. "This is St
Guthlac's Psalter. I know the description someone wrote after it
disappeared. Someone called John Lambert wrote about it. It must have
been about 1538 if my memory serves me right."
She turned to the Chaplain. "I think I ought to contact colleagues at
the British Library and the British Museum. We need more help. I don't
want to stop but I feel exhausted already." She looked around. "Nat seems
to have disappeared. Is he still in the cellar?"
Now or never. The Chaplain would have to know about balls being
fondled sometime, unless it was going to be like that Pope and the painting
on the wall of the Vatican I'd read about. Drapery to hide the genitalia!
"I think he's found something else," I said. Everyone stopped and
looked at me. "Wall paintings this time in the other room. They've been
covered over at some time. I'll have to ask Charles if there are any
records in the old Servants of the Chapel books. Somewhere about the mid
seventeen hundreds Nat thinks."
The Chaplain laughed. "In the cellar? Under the whitewash? They
won't be very salubrious, I guess. I heard Dr Smart left a lot out of his
history of the College! Charles has gone across to arrange for some lunch
to be brought over to the vestry. He should be back soon."
Charles was back. "All is arranged. Luncheon will be here prompt at
one. And Mr Tomkins informs me there is a television van and two reporters
arriving at two."
We cornered Charles and told him about the new discovery. "My dears,
that period in our history is one which has been glossed over in the
published works. But not now." He shook his head. "All is concentrated
on the other wonderful finds but I will see what my less than illustrious
predecessors of the time have to say when this dust has settled."
"Less than illustrious?" said Ivo, "So you know something, then?"
"Precious, I have merely glanced at the scrawls but three consecutive
Servants of the Chapel were rusticated for drunkenness and licentiousness
at a time when even the Master was known to consume two bottles of port a
day and had certain sores which were not caused by wearing constricting
underwear. Each returned and then were found congenial country livings
once they took Holy Orders. Such was life in the College." He sighed.
"So it's the same now, but it's drugs and the bedding of females is
more open," said Ivo.
"Autres temps, autres moeurs," said Charles raising his hands, "But
the Master is much exercised by the first of those. I am not breaking
confidence when I tell you that three students from other Colleges were in
hospital just before Christmas as the result of unwise purchases. The
purchases would seem to be associated with the end-of-term frivolities held
in our Junior Combination Room. There is enquiry, but as far as I can
ascertain, in those terms beloved by the press, no leads."
"How do you know all this?" asked Tris.
"My dear, news travels fast from Porter's Lodge to Porter's Lodge and
even while in cold and gloomy Venice I heard from the inestimable Jason
that there was a search being made of certain staircases." He held up his
hands. "I can assure you that Stair F was not considered to be
search-worthy. Nothing untoward was found elsewhere but one of our
Colonial number has been advised to return home until certain substances
have ceased to wreak havoc on his athletic status."
"Charles," I said, "In that one statement you've told us about six
snippets of information. We'll leave the rest until later, but you say
someone here is supplying drugs."
Charles nodded. "That is so, and to put it even more clearly, the
drug supplied is cocaine and, which causes much speculation, it is, as they
say, very high-grade."
"That's why those poor sods were in hospital. Over-dosed?" said Ivo.
"So I am informed," said Charles.
We were interrupted by a clatter at the main door. A hot trolley from
the kitchen was being wheeled in by Sean and the serving lad, Curt. He
looked a bit bug-eyed - the result of a long night with his pal from the
Club, no doubt. They were followed by one of the under- chefs and they all
went into the choir room off the vestry. Dr Masterton looked over.
"Hungry, lads? I know I am."
We were sitting listening to the discussion about the finds when Jason
came in.
"Excuse me, sir," he said addressing the Chaplain, "But we need people
to be interviewed. Mr Tomkins says there's enough reptiles about without
all these new ones crawling over us."
The Chaplain laughed. "Mr Tomkins has had plenty of experience of the
press in the past." He turned to Tris and me. "I think you're the ones
first in the firing-line. Then us, Dr Palfrey and Dr Masterton. Mr
Fullerton will keep an eye on us in case we say anything slanderous about
the Education Minister and lack of funds."
"I'd like to talk to Tris's father," Mr Fullerton said. "I shall need
someone to back up my opinions and it'll look better if there's external
support. I'll go and phone him if I may. I've already been in touch with
the Coroner and the message there is carry on."
I said we'd better get tidied up. Both of us had dust on our
sweatshirts and Tris had white on his sleeve where he'd given the wall a
rub. We had a quick hug as we changed. "What next?" asked Tris
rhetorically as we put on a couple of new Matteoli tops, then had a quick -
no, - a slightly lingering kiss. "Make your lips nice and juicy for the
telly cameras," said Tris giving my cock a tweak in my Matteoli jeans, "And
plump that up to give the viewers a treat!"
"Sod off, matey!" I said, "I'm too scared to get a hard-on."
"Fooled me, precious one!"
We got back to the Chapel to find a television camera man, a man with
a portable light and an interviewer talking to the Master. Hovering in the
background were a rather scruffy-looking middle-aged white man with a
younger black man with a camera. The older man beckoned us over.
"She says," he pointed at Dr Masterson who was talking quietly to the
Chaplain, "One of you did an Enigma on a code."
"I solved the code...," I said.
Before I could say anything more he interrupted, "...She says you do
Maths, right?" I nodded. "And your name?"
"Mark Henry Foster," I said.
"You his room-mate?" he turned to Tris, "Who are you?"
Tris looked at me, a world-weary look on his face, as the man finished
scribbling in his note-book. "I'm Tristan Price-Williams and I'm reading
Law," he added for good measure.
"Do anything else?"
"What do you mean?"
"Other than drinking and fucking and snorting things up your snouts
like the rest of them?"
Luckily Tris was not drawn by this. I might have asked what he meant
but I realised words could be twisted.
"Oh, I'm Secretary of the Basketball Club and I play Rugger."
He scribbled more down. "And you?"
"Just Maths," I said thinking of the ways 'playing the organ' might be
interpreted.
"Want to take a couple of photos. She says you got a prize for
solving it. Some book or other. Any money in it?"
I was about to say it wasn't exactly a prize and the money 'in it'
wasn't quite what one would expect, when I saw the warning look that Tris
gave me. We went along to the table where my box was. I put on my gloves,
opened it and picked up the book and passed the coin to Tris who took it
carefully in a gloved hand.
"Like your tops," the reporter said, "Very snazzy. That's it. Hold
those things up. Got 'em Lenny?" Two flashes and we were immortalised.
"Yes, the tops are my Uncle's design, he's...."
"Fuck me, is that the time?" the reporter said looking at his watch,
"Bright boy eh? Bit more than that twat Gemma, eh, Lenny?"
Gemma? Oh, yes, the winner of something on telly called Big Brother.
Toad had mentioned it only to comment on the reputed shagging under the
duvet and the display of tits which always got him aroused.
"I think Mark's got a few more brains than Gemma," said Tris with an
absolutely straight face.
"Ta, then. Must be off. Got to get up to town. There's something
on. This'll be in on Monday unless the bastards spike it. Come on, Len,
stop buggering about, our lot ain't interested in those gewgaws!"
Our lot? Which newspaper? Lenny looked back at us and shrugged his
shoulders as they hurried off Tris looked at me
"I don't think he's from the Times." he said with a grin.
The telly interview went smoothly. We were asked sensible questions
with shots of me holding the book, Dr Palfrey the sword in its scabbard and
Dr Masterton pointing at a second reliquary which looked as if it had a
jawbone in it and saying she though it was part of Waltheof's skull who had
been executed by William the Conqueror. All very gruesome. We were told
the London ITN would be taking a feed and we might be on national news
after six. We were kept busy because a man from the Times did appear. He
interviewed the Master and Dr Palfrey mainly, though he also wanted to know
how I solved the code. Charles was also interviewed about the secondary
excavation and the abbatial ring. What that first reporter would have made
of Abbots' Rings I could just imagine. Then the Times photographer arrived
and we went through the whole business again, but he also asked sensible
questions and said he'd been photographing a Roman dig down in Sussex where
there was a supermarket waiting to be put up.
I clocked up several minutes on my mobile phoning home. Luckily Mum
answered as Toad hadn't returned from a hockey match. I said watch telly
for the news. We might be on, even on a Saturday night if there were no
football riots. She said there was a planned invasion the next day as
Nick, Tris's father, was driving them all up. He'd been summoned by Aubrey
Fullerton for support - just plain nosy as the rest, she said, laughing.
"We'll be there early," were her parting words, "so make certain you kick
him out of bed in good time!" "Mum!!" I said as she put the phone down.
Charles came to the set about four o'clock while Tris, Ivo and I were
taking off all the plastic wrappings. He eyed the harpsichord and I had to
tell him the story of the gift. "My dears," he said, "All that must wait.
We are all so exhausted I have arranged for us to be accommodated for a
quiet, refreshing dinner at the Arundel at seven thirty. Tomorrow we will
witness the influx of the students all avid for information, no doubt."
I'd forgotten completely that things would have to be back to normal
for Tuesday. The quiet week of study and loving Tris had been disturbed.
Anyway would anything else be the same after this?
Ivo, Tris and I wandered back to the Chapel just after six thirty.
The three archaeologists were still busy. There were still boxes to be
looked at and one of the chests had been opened. Dr Masterton looked tired
but was taking things from the chest. Most looked like bits of old vellum
or parchment. Dr Palfrey was drinking a mug of black coffee.
He waved it at us. "It must have been like this on my grandfather's
digs in Turkey," he said, "I remember him telling me as a very small boy
all the excitement they had when they discovered a tomb that hadn't been
robbed. I think I was six when I said wasn't he a tomb robber as well and
he laughed and said of course he was, but he had a government licence to do
it. Grandma said he'd no conscience and that was why he was a clergyman,
and I said it was probably best not to have a conscience if you wanted to
find out how people lived and died. Grandad gave me this for saying
that..," he pulled out an amulet on a thin chain out of his trouser pocket.
"...I've carried it with me ever since. He found that in a tomb in Egypt
and said it had magical properties even he couldn't fathom." He pointed to
the two reliquaries side by side on the trestle table. "Like those.
There's a presence here today of such peace. I know we were meant to find
and look after all this. What Grandfather said and did made me want to
follow in his footsteps and something like this shows me he was right in
setting me on that path."
There was a sudden shout from Dr Masterton. "Cris, look at this!"
She was holding up a bundle of parchments. "It's your period. Robert de
Brunne I guess."
"Oh my God!" he said and leapt and was kneeling by the chest in
seconds. Dr Masterton handed him the sheaf of pages. He scanned them
quickly. "Yes, definitely Middle English and it's a clear hand. Yes,
definitely a copy. Oh, my!!"
Dr Masterton saw us looking. She smiled. "You don't know what it's
like. There's twenty years work here at least." She pointed at a pile of
parchment. "There's the Crowland Abbey records and all the deeds and
agreements. We'll be able to fill in so many gaps it's unbelievable and we
haven't even looked in the other chest from Sempringham.. There are
leather bags at the bottom here and we daren't open those without witnesses
as they are sure to contain more coins. There are two people coming from
the British Museum later tonight just to help us list things."
Sergeant Woolpit came in at that moment. He went up to Dr Palfrey.
"Got an announcement to make." He looked round at us. "Just to say I've
been appointed the Coroner's Officer for the present and the message is
that you may all continue. I'm on duty until ten then Constables Bearsted
and Venables will be taking over until the morning. Orders are that only
those who are bona fide persons are to be admitted. That is, the Master,
Chaplain, Dean, archaeological staff, designated Porters and those of the
student body already involved and two members of the British Museum staff.
Mr Fullerton will be in overall charge under the Coroner and he will give
any further instructions in the morning."
He came over to us. "Have to make it sound legal," he said, with a
grin.
"We'll be back just after ten. A fry up and a couple of drinks?"
"Couldn't be better!"
Charles insisted it was his shout for the dinner and the wine. He
flapped his hands when I protested. I still had plenty of Uncle
Francesco's gift to spend.
"My dears. Mother coins it in, to use an old and revered phrase. Let
us spend some of the handfuls of euro notes she pressed on me when I said
goodbye to her at the airport. And before you ask, we had a fabulous time
in Venice even if the weather was a trifle inclement and the waters were
rising each day. I just love that place and Mother has ideas above her
station about what she might buy." His hands were up, fingers splayed.
"The prices are simply astronomical even for the pokiest little apartment.
Father says he could arrange for an apartment to be assigned from the
Palazzo but it would reduce his influence over the company renting the
place from him."
I couldn't resist it. "And did you meet Father again?"
"No, my dear, but we had several companionable conversations on the
telephone. He was rather wary of speaking with Mother but was quite
affable with me. There is no likelihood of any union there."
"You didn't expect it, did you?" said Ivo, "Aldo's gay. All of you
know it was a one- night stand. Sorry Charles. You may be his son but
there's no hope he and Mother would ever..."
He didn't finish. Charles was nodding. "....I know, my dearest one,
I am resigned to that fact. He has acknowledged me for which I am and I
shall be eternally grateful. You must forgive me if I worry, perhaps
unduly, on Mother's behalf."
"Doesn't she have any men friends?" asked Tris, "The officer in the
Guards?"
Charles shook his head. "No, certainly not him. Mother seems to
attract the wrong sort of man - I don't mean Father - but I have witnessed
a number of most unsuitable persons attempting to woo Mother. The Major is
unsuitable for the simple reason that he is more interested in disciplining
a number of his troop who seem to live naughty lives as he most delicately
puts it." He shook his head. "I don't think delicacy comes into it
considering the range of peculiar instruments I inadvertently stumbled on
in a closet in his bedroom when I was looking for a clean towel for use in
his bathroom."
"What sort of instruments?" I asked, hoping my guilelessness would not
be unmasked, "Clarinets, oboes, trumpets or a saxophone?"
Ivo laughed. "More likely a sexophone from the sound of things. And
you were snooping, Charles, admit it!"
"Ivo, sweetheart, we will ignore the petty humour of your cousin and I
will admit I was curious why so large a cupboard should be situated in such
a position. As it also housed some sort of bench with leather straps I
closed the door very speedily and I haven't entered the house again. I
tried to warn Mother but she misunderstood and thought I was referring to
an interest in woodwork or similar craft. Still there is a very nice
Brazilian gentleman who is paying attention at the moment but as he seems
to have had four wives in quick succession and is much engaged in football
promotion I do not think Mother is too interested."
I thought we'd better change the topic. It was pretty clear Aldo
wanted nothing to do with Mother as vivacious and generous as she was.
"What's all this about searching the place?" I asked.
"I know no more than I told you, sweet one," said Charles waving his
fork elegantly. "A certain supply of pills containing something beginning
with 'N' I believe, a substance banned for sportsmen as they are called."
"Nandrolene?" asked Ivo.
"My dear, the name meant nothing to me but Mrs Chalfont-Meade seemed
very au fait with the material as her nephew is not allowed to compete any
longer as traces were found when he had to supply a sample before a race he
was in. She said he was lucky he wasn't sent down from the University he
attends and the Brigadier was most incensed when she passed on that
information and said the boy ought to be horse-whipped for allowing himself
to be caught. Given the amount of alcohol that passes his lips and those
of her husband's I would think any samples of theirs would cause lights to
flash."
"Why's he not around today?" Tris asked.
"I made a grave error yesterday and forgot to mention the invasion
expected today. In any case he had a game with Mr Chalfont-Meade arranged
to avenge a defeat he suffered on their holiday in the Algarve."
"You forgot?"
A smile played over his lips and the fork was held straight up. "I
find lapses of memory are most useful when dealing with a gentleman of the
Brigadier's calibre."
"You mean he's as thick as two planks and just as pretty?" said Tris
with a laugh.
"I find the military mind very hard to fathom, my dear, and that is as
far as I would venture an opinion at the moment."
"Algarve, you say," I said, "You told us Benidorm. One's Portugal the
other's Spain."
"Oh, fiddle, one only deals with generalities where the Brigadier is
concerned and he does frequent both as far as golf is concerned and for the
cheapness of the gin."
"And all part of your grand plan, eh?" said Ivo, holding his glass as
the wine waiter approached.
"Hush, let us not talk of such things but think of what the morrow
might hold. Both Dr Palfrey and the Master are of the opinion that a
little further excavation of the ruined dorter would not come amiss. There
is evidence of something buried there I am sure."
"Just to put the record straight, Charles," I said, "You're not too
upset about the discovery in my cellar?"
"My dear, it's of the utmost importance," he said most engagingly, "I
must admit I was a little hasty, perhaps, in authorising, nay, commanding
that Mr Guthrie should divert his attention from preparing the borders for
the coming Spring, but the finding of the ring and the paten has
compensated for that lapse. Only Mr Tomkins seems to bear a grudge as the
turf has been disturbed and I am reviled as ordering its removal and I am
not, perforce, a Senior Member of the College...."
"Yet!...." said Ivo.
Charles smiled as he forked the last of his baked cod in a salt crust
upwards, "In all good time!"
At least Charles was not upset - a bit disappointed, perhaps, but he
shared our exhilaration in the discovery. He was most knowledgeable about
the possible discoveries and said he'd read more of the history when he had
guessed the connection between the letters 'C' and 'S' in the Servant's
records. He said he would check the records of the Servants through the
middle 1700's to see if any reference to 'Greek activities' as he insisted
in referring to the possible paintings and their reason. All in all we had
a most convivial evening.
It was just after ten when we arrived back in College. The Chapel
lights were on and Tris checked to see if Whippet was around. We left
Charles at the bottom of the stairs as he said he was weary and we took
Whippet into the main room. Coffee was soon on and Ivo volunteered to do
fried eggs, bacon and fried bread for him. "Shouldn't eat it really, but
it's been a busy day," was Whippet's comment as the food was placed before
him.
We heard a bit about the drugs search. Leads were few except it was
thought that an original batch had somehow been purified. Back to chemists
and Chemistry. Also, one of the sufferers had let slip he'd been given
his, free, gratis and for nothing. He didn't know by whom. He'd just had
some left in his pigeon-hole in an envelope. Yes, he was known as a user.
Whippet went off just after eleven and we got Ivo's sofa ready. He
gave each of us a brotherly kiss as we said goodnight. "I'm envious," he
said, as we went through to the bedroom. He had every right to be. Tris
wanted me and I wanted him. We used noses, tongues and fingers to explore
each other before we could stand the excitement no longer. I entered Tris
so lovingly and so gently, raising both of us to such heights we were
spurting and spraying within minutes. We lay and luxuriated in that
post-coital stillness. We nuzzled each other's cheeks and lips and chins.
We did this silently as I was still fully erect in him. "Again," he
whispered , and so slowly, and so lovingly, and so quietly passionately, I
fucked him again until I had given him by second offering of seed. He lay
eyes closed as I gently took his own erect shaft in my hand and with care
brought him to a conclusion which left him breathlessly open-mouthed. I
feathered those parted lips with my drooling tongue. We kissed.
"You are so lucky," he murmured, "You have brains and beauty."
"My Tristan," I whispered, "You are blessed with beauty and brains. I
love you."
"You are much cleverer than me," he murmured back, "I could never have
solved that puzzle. You deserved that prize."
"That's our prize," I replied, meaning it. "You spurred me on and you
recognised where the door was. It's ours. We share everything."
"It's yours really. My love, you are Mark and I know you are marked
for great things."
"Tristan, I love you as King Mark loved his faithful knight.
Remember, 'Mein Held, mein Tristan!, Trautester Freund,' 'my hero, my
Tristan!, dearest of friends' - I wept when I heard that. My dearest
friend....."
"I wept, too, because I could never betray you... Hearing that made
me realise how much I owe to your friendship and love just over these few
years. 'Trautester Freund' that's my desire."
We cuddled each other and I withdrew and slept.
We woke early and, giggling, crept to the bathroom as we hadn't
bothered to clean up after than so-intense love-making of that so-perfect
night before. Naked, but now sweet- smelling we went into a still comatose
Ivo. He was snoring gently and looked quite peaceful. We whipped our
spare duvet off him. He was awake immediately. He wasn't fazed seeing two
nude young men standing, flaccid for once, facing him. "Oh my God," he
moaned, "I'm stiff!"
What was revealed poking out of the fly of the boxers he was wearing
confirmed that statement, perhaps not in the way he meant. It made us
laugh.
"We can see that," said Tri reaching down and gripping the long, thick
tool on view for all to see. He pushed down and Ivo's foreskin was
retracted over his mushroom-shaped knob. It shone a deeper shade than the
pink skin of the shaft. Ivo closed his eyes and let out a sigh. Tris
continued his movements and Ivo came. He came with about five streams of
his well-remembered creamy spunk, back over his exposed torso and over the
boxers he was wearing. He gasped and the look on his face changed from the
intense look of the boy intent on his imminent orgasm, to one of complete
gratification and delight.
"I've dreamt of being with you two so many times. Adam might have
acknowledged he can take his pleasure with both. I've battled against it
but I know deep down I would only be able to show my true self with you.
With me it's 'Tory and Tris and Mark. I need and want you all. You
understand?"
"Ivo," I said, "You've been a model for me all my life, you and Adam
as well, as far back as I can remember. I know my Tris feels the same.
When he defended me at Disneyland I knew we were destined. I might have
been younger but I understood and when you so abjectly made those apologies
I knew we could never be separated... ...Ivo, I'm sure you have the
birthmark inside you. You are part of this whole new family I have only
just discovered and you will discover, too. I may be Mark, and marked, but
you are, too. My love, my Ivo!"
I lent over and kissed him full on the lips. A lingering kiss only
broken when Tris whispered, "And me," and took my place.
We were too emotional to go for a run. We showered and dressed and
had a quiet breakfast. We three went to the Chapel and with the still
awake but so-tired researchers and the attendant policemen we three knelt
before the altar and held hands and pledged our friendship. I left them
sitting in the choir stalls and went up to the organ. By some pre-
ordained reason there was a book open on the music desk. I selected the
stops suggested, quiet eight foot and four foot on the Swell coupled with
the sixteen foot Sub Bass on the pedals, then drew that beautiful Cromorne
and a Flute on the Choir. 'Schmucke dich, O liebe Seele', 'Adorn thyself,
O lovely Soul'. I played it with as much love and devotion I could imbue
into that mechanical beast. It was a good job I knew the ending as through
tears I played that last phrase on the solo stops, slowing down to that
held five bar E flat with the gentle movement to a close underneath. I
played for love. For my Tristan and my cousins Ivo and the absent Adam.
For my family, present and past. For those ever-watching creatures, Piers
and Miles and the golden Flea. For Francis and his unborn sons. I felt an
everlasting peace.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs Dr Palfrey was there. He put
out a hand. I grasped it. "Thank you," he said, "We all needed that.
'Schmucke dich' I know it well. My mother was German and she would hum
that chorale to get me and my brother off to sleep. It was always our
good-night blessing. When she died Uncle Safar played it at her funeral.
He said he had played it at another beautiful person's funeral years ago."
"You know Safar?"
"Yes, of course, his brother Khaled is my Uncle Troy's partner. He's
godfather to my sons as well."
He knew Ulvescott Manor well, having visited it many times. Another
link. Ivo and Tris listened as we chatted, then the buttery staff brought
in breakfast for the workers and we had coffee and chatted more. At nine
o'clock Whippet reappeared and the Constables went off duty, I think rather
reluctantly. The archaeologists had snatched some sleep overnight but they
and their helpers looked totally exhausted.
"You said you've got at least twenty years work here," I said to Dr
Masterton, "Why not rest a bit now."
"It's all too exciting," she said, "Everything we open or turn over is
so, so wonderful." She went along the row of small objects. "This, we
think, may be Egbert's, the king of Wessex's, ring, or it may be a faithful
copy. If it's either it's another great find.
He was a great benefactor of Crowland." She pointed across two tables,
all with objects on them. "And that over there in that glass box is a
fragment of Abbot Theodore's vestments. That dates back to Saxon times,
too. We must just record and then will come the time of study.
There is so much. Too much to take in at one time."
The Chaplain came in then. He looked bemused at the array. "Please
excuse me," he said to the assembly all still noting and looking at things,
"I will say my Office quietly. If anyone wishes to join me we can just be
by the altar."
I was surprised. All trooped to the front of the Chapel and filed
into the choir stalls. The Chaplain opened with the Collect of the day and
say several prayers, with all joining in the Lord's Prayer. I think we all
felt some sort of presence with all these objects of devotion and
veneration revealed after so many closed away years.
After he'd finished the Chaplain stayed to help record things but we
three lads went back to the set. It wasn't long before Jason knocked and
announced that Mr and Mrs Foster and Mr and Mrs Price-Williams had arrived.
Frankie stomped in not having been announced and gave Jason an evil look.
Frankie took charge even while the parents were taking off their overcoats.
"Well, where is everything? You two looked a right couple of wallies
on telly last night. At least Unc's got some publicity which will be all
to the good for my fund..."
"..Shut up, Francis," Mum said, "He's been like an infant all the
way...,"
"....Mum," he just about wailed plaintively, "It's not fair. They got
on telly!"
"So will you, God help me," said Mum, "When I strangle you!..." She
turned to Dad. "Gordon, do something to control him." Dad just grinned.
He was used to Mum and Toad.
Uncle Nick stepped forward. "I'd help you, Angie, but I'd probably
have to defend myself. Francis, stand up straight and congratulate your
brother, you evil child."
As Francis had always been addressed as 'evil child' by Uncle Nick I
didn't think it would have much effect. It did. He rushed over and hugged
me, then Tris, then Ivo, as we were all standing in a row.
"You always take the mick," he said, "So I thought I'd have a try."
Not the thing to say to Tris who was Mick-taker General.
In the next quarter of an hour we had an influx of visitors while
coffee was being brewed and the harpsichord being admired. Of course,
Charles was one of the first, then Aubrey Fullerton. He and Uncle Nick
went into my study to discuss matters quietly. Mum was playing the
harpsichord while Dad looked at the case work and craftsmanship and Tris
and his Mum were chatting with Charles. I went to the bedroom to look for
something and was followed in by Frankie.
"Actually, Marky, congratulations. Will you show me the code and the
stuff? Where is it?"
"The code's in the study and all the stuff, as you call it, is in the
Chapel being logged. My book and coin are there as well." A thought
struck me. "Where's Shelley?" I asked, "Didn't she want to come as well?
I suppose the Lexus was rather full, anyway."
"Oh, she's playing dead beetle with Pugsy, I expect," he said
nonchalantly as I picked out the clean hankie I needed.
"Oh, I didn't know she was into computer games," I said
absent-mindedly as I kicked a spare pair of Tris's boxers under the bed.
"It's not a computer game. Twit!" I looked up to see a real wide
grin on his face. "Dead beetle. You know... Like... ...On back. Legs up
in air! Waggle! Waggle!"
I must have looked aghast. "You don't mean Pugsy and she....?"
He laughed, "Gotcha! OK OK I won't say it to Tris. I know I'm in for
a battering of some sort already."
"Evil child! I'll tell him later. You'd better be out of the way," I
laughed. "You're getting better. Had me fooled. But where is she?"
"It's Puggo's sister's birthday so she's there. Feet under their
table this time. Anyway, I don't think Puggo's had it yet so you can tell
Tris."
Jason went to the door when there was a slight rap. It was Liam
holding a copy of a Sunday newspaper. On page four a small piece at the
bottom of the page, "Historic discovery at Cambridge College'. Five
paragraphs just said a hoard of monastic artefacts had been discovered by
the solving of a coded message. The objects were in the process of being
catalogued and the article ended with a sentence from the Master, 'We are
indebted to the skills of Mr Mark Foster in decoding the message based on
the words Fiat Lux." and that further information would be released later.
"All very bland, but something for the Foster scrapbook," Mum said.
She did sound proud though and Tris squeezed my arm. Oh Tris, squeeze
something else, I prayed.
As soon as the pair of eminent QC's reappeared we were led by Charles
over to the Chapel. A laughing Whippet held the door and counted us in
saying we would all be searched on the way out and the penalties....
Frankie was last in and poked him in the back and I heard a whispered "I'll
be visiting that Club as soon as I'm eighteen and I want something
leather!" Zack must have given him details. I shrugged my shoulders and
Whippet smiled. Another arch mick-taker I knew.
Only about six boxes and the other chest remained to be opened. In
our presence the leather bags from the bottom of the first chest were
removed and laid on padded trays. The first was opened and a cascade of
silver and gold coins spilled from it. We watched as the other four were
opened as well.
"Please accept they will all be catalogued," said Dr Palfrey. "A
numismatist is arriving in the morning. I can't tell you their value but
from a glance I can see a good number of what are known as silver pennies.
We'll have to wait. This is for an expert's eye."
While we were looking the Master came in. He greeted everyone and Mr
Fullerton introduced Uncle Nick especially. I don't believe he could
credit the sight of so many things laid out. "Is Buckingham College
mentioned anywhere," he asked Dr Palfrey.
He shook his head. "Not so far, but we still have three boxes from
the Fordham offshoot to open. Maybe something there. Jenny looked up a
transcript of who was at the Abbey at the time and the priest in charge had
connections there so we may find something."
The Master snorted. "The Master of Magdalene has asked permission to
be first to view things. Buckingham became Magdalene in 1542 so we don't
want any bad feelings and we don't want sticky fingers either."
"No problem as I can see, Master," Uncle Nick said, stepping forward,
"I've examined all the labels so far and they are unequivocal. They all
say the objects are placed in your College's safe-keeping in perpetuity or
until their monastic houses are restored. It will depend on whether parish
churches are deemed monastic, but I doubt it. I would have to check that
with an ecclesiastical lawyer. Anyway, there is no doubt that Mark should
receive the box with it contents. That is clear, too."
The Master smiled. "Thank you. I hope it won't come to a court of
law but, there is so much, so sharing is a possibility. As long as
research is not hindered I will abide by any decisions. Mark's
contribution to this has already been rewarded in one way but the College
will no doubt have further ideas."
Uncle Nick said he would talk with Mr Fullerton more later and we all
went back to the set. There was a quiet hum of excitement. Tris
demonstrated the 'Gambe' stop and all went gingerly down the stairs. After
inspecting the now-empty chamber we filed back into the ordinary cellar. I
then said there were other things being uncovered and pointed to the young
man's head in the corner. Trust Toad to see the other bit, or bits,
uncovered. He shrieked out, "Bloody hell, look at this!" Mum, several
inches shorter reached up and quite illegally, with an eminent lawyer and a
soon-to-be trainee solicitor watching, gave the evil child a resounding
slap to the side of his head. An aggrieved "Mum, but he's having his balls
felt!" earned him a second, not so hard smack as Mum, plus the rest of us
dissolved into laughter. "Why always me?" Toad asked.
We then had to explain that this was probably a meeting place, etc.,
etc. I could see Toad getting more and more excited and an illuminated
sign nearly appearing above his head 'Next Pennefather Scholar! Frankie's
disco open nightly!! Orgies continuously!!!'
"Down Fido!" I whispered in his shell-like ear as we waited for the
giggling mass to ascend the steps in front of us. "Fucking hell" he
whispered back, putting his evilness at least one stage further on, "And
all this belongs to you for the next year as well. I've got to work bloody
hard!"
Uncle Nick had arranged lunch at the Garden House Hotel so we, with
Charles and the Chaplain and his wife walked there. The archaeology team
refused the offer saying they would open the final boxes and hope to knock
off at four o'clock and would return the next day refreshed with some other
colleagues as well. Police presence to guard?
Whippet had arranged this and he would be back in the morning, too.
When we returned from lunch there were groups of returning students
all eager for news having seen the interviews on telly and the small report
in two of the Sunday broadsheets. One of the team had printed out a
description of some of the find and this was being handed round by Jason
and Liam. "Pity we don't get overtime," said Jason, "But Mr Charles has
arranged a special lunch for everyone tomorrow."
As we entered our staircase we noted that Boz must be back. His doors
were open and we could hear conversation. He, with Ben, Gabe and Josh,
came into my set to be reintroduced, then Oliver, Fiona and Tina with Louie
and Toby in tow arrived. My main room seemed quite full. We had to go
through the whole story again and Tris and Jason went to the Chapel for
permission to bring the box. Dr Masterton accompanied them back and handed
out gloves. Again the book and coin were revealed. I looked at Gabe. He
had tears in his eyes. "That's a bonza do. You deserve it." I said it
was really a joint effort with help of all sorts from everyone. I said
even young Danny - not mentioning 'from the Club' - helped by the
reiterated 'Pull the other one'. I wanted to share my good fortune and
would have to think of some way. I ignored the stage whisper from 'you
know who' "Orgy in the cellar". He'd get more than a slap when Tris and I
got hold of him. Oh, er, he's getting bigger. Have to ask Gabe to sit on
him!!
Everyone went off looking happy. There was just us lads sitting
talking after they went and we'd fed ourselves on goodies Mum and Auntie
Dilys had brought, plus exotica from a hamper of Charles's. A couple of
bottles of wine had been produced and no one questioned Ivo's continued
presence. Nothing was said of his meeting the day before. At last Tris
couldn't contain himself.
"Aren't you going to show them the cellar wall?"
The ribald remarks were what one could expect. Gabe grabbed Oliver,
who was giggling, as they stood side by side in front of the section where
the boy's balls were being felt.
"If there's bits that are missing they could put you up there, lad.
You've got a bit more than that tyke, though!"
The question then was, when was the wall to be completely uncovered?
I said Nat Temple would probably do it over the Easter vac. "Oh,
bollocks," said Gabe in a despairing tone, "We could get it off in a
coupla' days."
"Got to be done properly," said Tris. "Nat's the expert."
Gabe nodded. "Nice to see what's under, though."
As we got cleared up after the others went Ivo told us he'd managed to
phone Adam in the States and he was very excited about the findings and was
getting the first plane available back after his last lecture. Yes, he'd
had a marvellous time. No, he hadn't hooked up with anyone. See you soon.
Ivo said that himself in the morning. He made two phone calls just
after eight o'clock after we'd had our run and some breakfast. One call to
accept the assignment. The second to the Rothenian speaker - an elderly
man in a small village - who would start him off. He'd have to live in and
would be given a crash, continuous course in the language, and also, most
importantly, the history and customs of the country. His only regret was
he wouldn't be living with 'Tory during the week and he'd miss his brother
again..
Tris was very truthful with him. "We miss you two. Life isn't the
same without you and Adam spitting fire and farting brimstone at each other
several times a day." He laughed. "You scared me the first time I really
remember you. I must have been about six and there was this pair of big
boys arguing and shouting and wrestling in the next door garden. I suppose
you were all of eight but you dwarfed poor little Mark who stood with his
thumb in his mouth watching you. Then one of you shouted something and you
had Mark on that swing and all was sweetness and light until the next
time...." He laughed again. "....And the next time.. And the next
time... ....And I bet it'll never finish."
We were still laughing when Jason tapped on the door. He had a big
grin and two newspapers.
"Thought you'd like to see what the papers say. Mr Tomkins doesn't
want them back but he says some coinage would be welcome." He wrinkled his
nose. "You could have had them earlier but he was reading all about that
one."
He was pointing to the front page of the tabloid. In screaming large
headlines it said 'GEMMA THROWS RING AT RIO!'. There was a blurry picture
of a blowsy looking girl, mouth wide open as if shouting, and making a
vigorous two-fingered sign at the photographer. All she seemed to be
wearing was a very short dress with a tiny top which displayed an acre of
podgy belly. Prominently in the middle of the photo was a glinting ring
through her navel. Underneath was a not much smaller caption which read
'GET STUFFED YOU TWO-TIMING W*****!' and in much smaller, but very readable
capitals, 'GEMMA TELLS RIO WHERE TO STICK HIS RING'.
Jason pointed to the belly ring. "Not that one, and you're on page
four."
He waited while we laid the paper out on the table. On page four was
a very good photo of the pair of us. Lenny was a good photographer. Yes,
Unc's logo was prominently displayed. There was a headline above it all.
Again in capitals, but not as big as those for Gemma on the front page.
'MATHS WHIZZ SOLVES CODE AND GETS BUMPER PRIZE'
Ivo read out what came next:
'Cambridge maths whizz, Henry Foster, solved an old code set four
hundred years ago when Henry of six wives fame did a dirty on the churches
and took all their goodies. Some got away and were hidden in Mark's
College. Henry holds up a book he got for finding the loot.
His room-mate, hunky basket ball star, Tristram Rice-Wilkins holds up
the medal Henry got as well. He said 'Henry's got more brains in his
little finger than that Gemma's got in her whole body'.
Gemma says 'I ain't been to uni but I could give that pair of toffs a
first class seeing- to anytime!'
More on Gemma's tiff with boyfriend Rio on pages 6, 7, 8 and 9.
Exclusive.'
We stood in silence. Ivo laughed. "At least they didn't ask you to
get your tits out for Page 3 Tristram duckie! They've had Hunky Harry and
Hairy Chesty Charlie there when they had their shirts off playing polo!
Hunky Tristram!! Rice-Wilkins!! Who told them that was your name? And
that one's the whizzing Henry!!"
Jason covered that paper with the open copy of the Times. "I think
the account here is more accurate."
It was, too. A sane sober account, a short note on the solving of the
coded messages, names right, a nice photo of Dr Masterton pointing to a
reliquary, a statement from the Master and a brief listing of some of the
finds. What a difference!
"Thanks Jason," I said, "I'll come and see Mr Tomkins. I suppose
that's all round the College now. Can't be helped but I wouldn't mind a
copy of the photo."
Jason felt in his waistcoat pocket and drew out a business card. "I
took the liberty of asking Lenny for his card. He's a good bloke, lives
just off the Milton Road and went to school with Sheena." Sheena, I knew,
was an elder sister of Jason's.
Ivo went off with Jason to find out times of trains to Church
Stretton, the nearest station to the village his mentor-to-be lived and
Tris and I got ready to start another term of lectures and, for Tris, it
would be his last term of lectures before Finals.
To be Continued: