Date: Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:33:49 +0000
From: Jo Vincent <joad130@hotmail.com>
Subject: Mystery and Mayhem at St Mark's: 30a

		      Mystery and Mayhem At St Mark's

				    by

				   Joel

             Some of the Characters Appearing or Mentioned:
Mark Henry Foster            The story-teller
Tristan (Tris) Price-Williams   His well-proportioned boyfriend
Gordon Foster     Father of Mark and Francis:  Fiddles for a living
Maria (Angelica Matteoli) Foster  Mother of Mark and Francis: Teaches 
singing
Francis Michael [Microbe] Foster Alias Toad:  just growing and wondering
Ivo Richie Carr                Mark's cousin:  chunky and cheeky with it
Adam Benjamin Carr      Ditto, as his twin
Albert Tomkins               A Head Porter with an elephantine memory
Jason Knott                     An Assistant Porter with long antecedents
H.E. Sheik Sayed Al-Hamed   Erstwhile Ambassador for a Middle-Eastern State
Khaled Al-Hamed  His elder son:  a financier
Dr Safar Al-Hamed  His younger son  A knowledgeable Music don
Colonel Lachlan Cameron-Thomson  Ex-Military Intelligence
Dr Jacques Thomson  Reader Emeritus in Modern Languages
Dr Francis Thomson   His eldest son

		      30.       Much Ado   [Part One]

     Monday morning after the newspapers came both Tris and I had lectures
to attend.  He said he'd meet up with me for lunch.  I knew the reason why.
Both of us would be in for some comments on our first appearances in Hall.
Fiona and Dina had their go first as I met them outside the Mill Lane
Lecture Room.  'Why wasn't I labelled a hunk like Tristram?  Tristram??
Just a Maths whizz!' that from Dina.  'And who's this Henery?  Henery the
Ninth hI hAm, hI hAm!'  Fiona trilled.  Dina said to take no notice,
newspapers always get everything wrong.  Of course, later, I had to open my
big mouth and ask the second lecturer if the second of his equations he'd
just written up should also have had a constant added as well.  "Thanks for
noticing," he said, "Had a heavy weekend.  My wife gave birth to our
second!"  Instant cheer and I didn't feel too bad.  Fiona asked, "How did
you know that?"  I shrugged.  I didn't.  It just looked as if it should.

     Tris was waiting for me just in our stairway.  "Got a cheer when I
went into the lecture."  "I didn't," I said, "I don't think mathematicians
can read."  Well, it seemed other students could.  There was a chorus of
wolf whistles as we entered Hall.  "Wow, it's the Page Three boys!" was one
call.  "Get yer tits out next time!" was another.  I saw a couple of the
dons at High Table looking disapprovingly in our direction.  Then, to a
great cheer, a top- hatted, black frock-coated, pin-stripe trousered Jason
- the full formal Porter's rig, - came from the kitchen and led us to a
table where four of Tris's Basketball team in their sub fusc of black
jackets and white ties were already sitting.  They stood up and another
cheer erupted as they had their dark red silky basketball shorts on below
their formal gear.

     Anything after that couldn't be too bad.  That afternoon there was a
note in my pigeon-hole.  'Mr M H Foster is invited to a reception in the
Senior Combination Room on Thursday the twenty-third of January at eight
p.m. to present an outline of how the coded message was solved and to hear
an analysis of findings so far by members of the archaeology team'.

     I found Tris, Gabe, Josh, Ben, Oliver and Boz all had invitations to
the presentation.  As Charles said at our 'Nine o'clock Knock' that
evening, as he displayed his note asking him to show the ring and paten as
his part in the discovery, it was to his certain knowledge the first time
the bastions of that redoubt of academic eminence had been breached by so
many of the lower orders at the same time.  Usually, he said, only the
President of the Students' Union was ever invited or the younger sons of
Earls and above.  Tris said that as long as Gabe kept his expletives to a
minimum we would survive.  I said I was going to point out we, and I
emphasized 'we', might have solved the puzzle earlier if it hadn't been for
his bloody expletive!  We all toasted a bowing Gabe for hindering the
advance of academic progress.

     Before all that, I had my Monday tutorial with James Tanner.  He just
grinned and asked no details of what had happened.  He was more interested
in what I had made of the second book by the author - the one on Fermat's
Last Theorem.  I said I'd looked at the bits of the proof given and what
was interesting was the use of several different approaches where ideas
linked up.  I said I had an inkling into the interest of doing that as I'd
noted the convergence of two different approaches in the work last term.  I
showed him the two sheets on which I'd done the rough work - I hadn't got
the neat solutions I'd written up in my 'commonplace book' as I called it.
When he'd finished reading through the two pages he just sat back,
intertwined his fingers and rested them on his chin.  He looked at me
steadily for almost a minute without saying anything.  "There's absolutely
nothing wrong with your reasoning, Mark.  A short note in Annals of Pure
Mathematics is called for."

     I was rather flustered.  It was just a couple of results which linked.
"It's not just that, Mark, it's given me a couple of ideas to follow up,
too.  When you get to my age the mathematical instinct or whatever you like
to think it is, seems to wane.  Most of my colleagues will agree on that.
We can still manipulate with the best of them but it's these points of
interest where ideas are generated which get fewer and farther between.
You probably realise I'd made my name by the time I was twenty-five.  The
ten years after I graduated were the most fruitful.  I couldn't get to that
level of thinking now.  I publish, but it's using the material generated
all those years ago.  I'm speaking quite candidly.  Your Head of Maths at
school recognised you had a flair for the subject.  We'll try our best to
cultivate it.  This is just a start.  While it's still fresh tidy it up.
I'll help with any notation but it's your name on the article.  I can't
guarantee they'll take it but it does make a point."

     What could I say?  I knew I liked Maths.  Did I have a flair?  At the
end of the two hours we had worked through several ideas and by that time
my senses were reeling.  I went straight to the Chapel, apologised to the
researchers still there, and played for over an hour to calm down.  When I
finished I found Fiona and Dina, who I was supposed to meet, sitting in the
choir stalls quietly going over the notes of the morning lectures.  There
was no reproof from forthright Fiona.

     "We felt you needed to play after all that's happened the last few
days.  Dude let us in as long as we didn't pocket any of the coins the man
showed us.  Thanks for playing.  It's helped us, too."

     Dina leaned over and kissed my cheek.  "Thanks, Mark.  But we want to
know what the great man said."

     We went over the problems the lecturers had set.  Then I showed them
the ones James had given me.  They grimaced, but we managed to tackle at
least the first three.  I could see what he was doing.  He was leading us
step by step to much more abstract and much more general ideas.  Ideas that
could generate a whole cloud of new theorems, and riders, and lemmas.

     Dina was smiling as we completed that third problem.  "I wish I could
be a proper mathematician," she said.  "I know what I can do and I want to
teach it to others, but it takes a different sort of mind to make progress,
doesn't it."

     I didn't dare show them what I had done that day.  Was I capable of
making progress?

     Tuesday lunchtime I was recovering from two rather intense lectures
and deciding I had to master the ideas, or else!  Tris came to my study
looking rather pensive.

     "Mark, I've had a letter this morning and I'm a bit worried."

     "What letter?"  I wondered if Jacob or Paul had had second thoughts
about offering him a job.

     "It's from Safar's brother, Khaled.  Apparently he's a trustee of the
Al-Hamed Foundation.  There's him and another two at the top of the paper.
That James Thomson's one of them and someone called Iyad bin Ibrahim
Al-Quereshi.  Anyway, it's the offer to pay for my Law School and giving me
a hundred pounds a week towards living expenses."  He shook his head.  "I
can't accept all that.  It'll be much more than your harpsichord is worth.
Why give me so much and not you?"

     I stood up.  "Tris, that harpsichord is priceless as far as I'm
concerned.  It was given to me with love.  I can't place a value on that.
I don't think you should count up the pennies like that.  That was a gift
of love as well.  The Sheik saw something in you, I'm sure."

     Tris smiled.  "I saw the way he was looking at you while you were
playing.  He had such a look of concentration on his face it was as if he
was trying to see inside you."  He laughed.  "I had a sort of funny feeling
he was looking at your soul.  I had all sorts of funny feelings at that
place.  I need to talk to him and the others there.  Not to say thank you
but to find out more about Ulvescott and the influence it has on people."
He paused.  "You think I should accept it?  The only conditions are that I
get my Law degree and that I study for the Law Society exams.  It's such a
gift.  I won't be dependent on Dad.  And I will succeed.  There'll be too
many people I mustn't let down."

     "You write and accept it," I said, "You are part of that wider family
now and you know it."

     He smiled and nodded.  "As long as you don't think...."

     I put my arms around him and hugged him tight.  "It's for both of us.
Your success is my success and whatever I have or do is yours as well.  The
Sheik saw us together.  He knows."


     One thing during our 'NOK' evenings was the pleasure listening to
others talking about what they were doing.  Boz was going great guns on the
translating of the Templar documents.  Charles commented several times he
was sure there were connections between Templar ideas and the College.
Holy Grail and all that was bandied about.  Gabe and Charles with their
common subject of Philosophy sparked off many arguments, most of which left
me mind-boggled.  I was quite certain the Meaning of Life could be number
forty- two, or quarante-deux, just as any of the numerous ideas postulated.
I think we came to the sensible conclusion that what gives life value was
as important as seeking what gives life meaning.

     It was during one of our sessions that first week when Gabe mentioned
how various ideas in natural philosophy, as science was called in the early
days, held sway for so many years.  The idea in medicine that man was
comprised of the Four Humours which had to be in balance.  The idea that
Aristotle put forward that everything was comprised of Four Elements,
Earth, Air, Fire and Water.  I was able to join in this as I reiterated all
that Gran had said about the music that had been written, especially on the
idea of the Four Humours.  It was at that moment that another connection
was made.  I was in mouth-open mode.

     "And as far as the four elements are concerned you can still find
echoes," I said, "These deaths so far, one was Earth, one was Water and Mr
Finch-Hampton died in a Fire."

     "True," said Ben, "But there's only been three deaths and the
connection may not stand.  Where's the fourth?  Where's the death by Air?"

     "Sorry," I said, "It just seemed odd to me.  There was such an
emphasis that Bryce died by inhaling mud..."  Tris gave a gulp.  "...Sorry,
Tris, but it just struck me as odd.  Could it be accidental that Bryce
ended up in that mud and the inquest did mention it and Whippet kept on
about earth, the idea could have got back to whoever did them all in."

     "You believe it's the work of one person?" asked Boz.

     "What we've been told points to that," said Tris, "And there's more as
Charles can tell you."

     Charles then went over the latest with the search and the over-doses
and the purified drug. We said we'd seen the track-suit and it tied in with
the person being small.  But what was the general motive?  There was a
general shrugging of shoulders and we passed on to another topic.

     Of course later I had to tell Tris what James Tanner had said to me.
We were in bed and having our usual personal resume of our day.  "You've
got a lovely talent," he said nuzzling just by my Adam's Apple, "You are so
musical and you can do Maths.  You're a beauty, too, and I love you
deeply."  He licked up under my chin with predictable results.  "There's
me.  Just going to be a lawyer helping old ladies sell their houses and
defending kids prosecuted after being caught pissing up alley walls."

     "Tris, my love, you've got brains and beauty.  I've told you that
before.  Jacob and Paul wouldn't have offered you that job otherwise."  I
felt for his erection, pressing against mine.  "As long as it's not just
your beauty they're after.  I don't think they're into adolescents though,
so they might have detected a brain - much smaller than this, I expect."  I
gave his shaft a squeeze.  That did it.  No more resume for that night.  We
were lost in each other's love.

     On Thursday evening in bed he was rather quiet.  I'd noticed that from
the time he came back from a Basketball match earlier in the evening.

     "Mark," he said as we snuggled together and put our arms round each
other, "Aubrey Fullerton said I was right.  That summing-up.  The judge
quoted the wrong precedent and the defence didn't pick it up.  He phoned
someone as soon as I showed him and we checked.  I'll find out tomorrow
what's going to happen.  That chap may have been guilty.  It wasn't a very
pleasant thing he did but he was sent down for the wrong reason and he's
done two years already.  He had other offences in the past so I don't
suppose anyone was too worried.  Have I done right?  He could be out under
a miscarriage of justice.  He could do it all again."

     "Tris, it's what lawyers are for.  You can't be held responsible for
what someone may do.  If the law has been applied incorrectly I don't see
that as a fair trial.  I shan't ask you what he did but is that the reason
you're worried?"

     He nodded.  "Yes, I think so.  I will tell you what he did anyway.  It
was on Hampstead Heath and he beat up a chap who was gay and that's what
caught my eye.  It wasn't the first time.  He'd done it at least twice
before and had got off as he said he'd been solicited.  This time someone
called the police and they caught him kicking this bloke's head in and
shouting out homophobic insults.  Aubrey said I wasn't to worry about it
but it does concern me.  The least that'll happen is his sentence will be
cut.  Aubrey said that with the police evidence and the past record he
would still get a term in jail."

     "You are not to worry," I said, "As I said it's what you stand for is
the criterion.  Come on, relax, but not too much!"


     Friday night at the Club only Dude and Carlo were there, no Brad.
They said he'd got a lot of paperwork to do but they'd make sure he was
there for the next night.  He would be forty-five!  Dude had half-a-dozen
leather peaked caps which he handed out to us.  "Anything else leather,
wear it."  I had ideas.

     There was a letter for me on Saturday morning saying the
archaeologists and museum people had finished cataloguing and
photographing.  In fact I knew Lenny had been contacted and had
photographed most of the things so they could be exhibited in College.  All
the objects, including my book and coin, had been taken into the
safe-keeping of the Fitzwilliam Museum and a horde of people from there,
the British Museum and the British Library, would be descending to do
research on the mass of things.

     Tris came back from a rather rough match looking slightly bruised and
battered.  Still, after a bit of gentle massage he said he'd be fit for the
evening at the Club.  I'd been to see Josh and Gabe in the morning and
borrowed some things: the gift Gabe had for Adam, and Josh's purchase for
himself.  The lederhosen.  They fitted very well though Bavarian arses must
be a bit more ample than ours.  With the caps on as well Tris and I just
about fell apart.  "I've got two pairs of long white socks I had when I
wore that kilt.  You can have a pair of those," he said, "Those dark green
Matteoli shirts will be just right, too.  Might even ask you for a dance,
sweetie!"

     The evening was a real hoot.  Shawn and Charlie, the owners, had put
on a buffet and the first round of drinks were on the house.  Looking round
almost everyone was sporting something leather, even if just a cap.  Danny
had a dog's collar round his neck and Jonty was holding him with the
attached lead and wearing a very revealing cutaway leather shirt.  Our
lederhosen got a special cheer as we came in.  Brad was serenaded and made
to lead a conga which snaked round the whole Club.  Then a huge cake with
'45' iced on it was brought in with a large single candle in the middle.
It was an everlasting candle so that as much as he blew, it still flickered
back into flame.  Ever resourceful he grabbed it and upended it in the pint
pot of lager belonging to Carlo.  "Dipped your wick there, Mr B!  Never
knew you had it in you!" Carlo said to shouts of laughter and picked up the
glass and drained it in one long draught.  Two people who made a quiet
entrance were drawn into the group.  Brad's son, Tony, and his mate, Terry,
were made welcome and after a while Danny was contentedly sitting on his
brother's lap, still wearing his dog's collar, with Tony holding the leash.

     Sunday it was my turn to play for the morning service so afterwards I
was having a relaxing gin and tonic before going across to Hall for lunch.
Tris said he would be back in time but must, absolutely must, make
arrangements with some clot who was having second thoughts about playing in
the Basketball team.  Apparently his girlfriend needed his undivided
attention on Thursdays when matches were usually held.

     I had just had a satisfying slurp when my mobile phone played the
little bit of Bach I had as my ring-tone.  It was Frankie.

     "Hi, are you OK?"

     "Yes, just the same."

     "Mum's had a phone call.  She's picking up Adam from Heathrow Tuesday
afternoon..  He's staying here and Auntie Sophie's coming up to see her
little boy as well."

     "Well he has been away four months.  I think Mum might even want to
see you...."

     "....I know," he interrupted, "But there's more to tell you."

     "What's that?"

     I could hear him suppressing a giggle.  "They've all gone next-door
for drinkies before lunch back here so I must be quick."

     "Well, get on with it then."

     "It was Auntie Dil's birthday on Friday...."

     "....I know that.  We sent a card and Mum had the present to give
her...."

     "....Shut up, and listen!  We had a big dinner last night next door
instead of going out.  Auntie Dil said it's criminal paying out loads of
dosh for crap nosh..."

     "...I don't think she'd quite say that..."

     "...Bugger it, Marky, listen!  Anyway, Pugsy was there and was necking
the gravy as if there was no tomorrow.  Mum said no way were his parents
seeing him as rat-arsed as that they'd do a bundle..."  I didn't interrupt
as Mum was unlikely also to use such terminology.  "....Anyway she said
he'd better stay over.  Bastard came straight into my room and stripped
down to his boxers and was in my bed snoring before I'd even got my shoes
off.  And doesn't he snore.  Kept me awake for ages and he took up more
than half the bed.  I did get to sleep but he woke me up in the middle of
the bloody night 'cause he was clutching me and humping my leg, you know,
like Mrs Coombs' bloody dog.  You there, Marky?  Are you listening?"

     "Yes, I know the dog."

     "I'm talking about bloody Pugsy, you fool.  He was humping against me
and he was whispering, like, 'Come on Shell, let me have it, I need it,
please, Shell'."  His voice rose in excitement.  "Then he shot a humungous
load all over me and stopped humping and started to fucking snore again.
Huhn, you can tell Tris he hasn't had it yet.  Shell must be holding out on
him.  Prickteaser!"

     "Not the thing to say about my boyfriend's sister, Marky.  I might
just tell him that bit."

     "You do and I won't tell you anything else."

     "OK, and after he'd had a spontaneous emission?..."

     He laughed.  "...Mine wasn't spontaneous and the bugger slept through
it, too.  I had to take my boxers off to mop up." he laughed again.
"Sorry, Marky, but they were those rather nice black ones of yours.  Rather
sticky when I finished..."

     "...My silk ones?"

     "..Sorry, yes..  I daren't put them in the wash.  I'll keep them and
you can take them back to College for washing..."

     "...Complete with two boys'...."

     I was cut short.  "..Never thought of that.  You might want to keep
them..."

     "Frankie!"

     He was cackling now.  "He wanted to know why I wasn't wearing anything
when I got out of bed this morning to go for a pee.  I said it was rather
hot in bed.  Was, too, but not the way he thought.  He never remembered a
thing!  Anyway, Shell would be well-pleased.  Not too long but thick poking
out of his fly when I pulled the duvet off him."  He began to sing in a
falsetto voice.  'Pug-sy is a vir-gin, Pug-sy is a vir-gin!'"

     "Frankie!  Just because you got lucky.  Tell you what, you could play
dead beetle with him.  On your back you'd give him the time of his life."

     There were a few moments of silence.  "That's not for discussion.
That's for you and Tris.  Give him my love."

     "Wait a moment, Frankie.  I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have said anything
like that."

     "Apology accepted, Marky.  Love you.  Must go or Pugsy'll have all the
drinkies.  Ta- ra!"

     The connection clicked off.  So, Pugsy was still seeking.  He'll get
his end away and I guessed it wouldn't be too long now.  But, in the
meantime I would have to censor the retelling of the conversation to Tris.
But, I guess he would understand the stalwart Pugsy's basic urges.


     Term was going rapidly on.  Tris heard that the villain's sentence had
been reviewed but the Appeal Judges considered that seven years was correct
even if the summing-up wasn't.  In fact Tris had a note from one of the
Counsel on the defence side congratulating him on his knowledge and
perception.  He was also working extra hard as he wanted to do as well as
he could in his Finals next term.


     Adam turned up all full of bounce and transatlantic bonhomie.  He'd
had a marvellous time giving a few lectures but also being taken around and
visiting as much as possible.  He said he'd never realised how big America
was, at least seventeen of the states were bigger than England, nor how
little ordinary Americans he spoke to knew about England or Europe.  They
knew some history as that was taught in High School but it was almost as if
the rest of the world was a different planet.  Most couldn't make out how
'little England' had ruled such large amounts of the World before the
break-up of the Empire and they all wanted to know if he knew the Queen.
He said the students were keen but over- reliant on being told what to do
and what to read.  He said he had to be careful even with gentle irony as
he realised very early on that Americans did not understand English irony.

     One thing he had to do was grade 'Term Papers' and noted three were
almost exact copies of a fourth which he knew was done by one of the best
students in the class.  He showed the four sets of essays to the Professor
in charge of the course whose comment was simply "Dumb fucking jocks.
Wouldn't know if their peckers were in their pants unless Coach checked!".

     He'd asked the three to see him and he said all were huge, blond and
very nervous and, from what he could see, all had their peckers tucked well
away.  He said he'd noted the similarity between the papers, any
explanations?  They had looked at each other and at last one blurted out
that Coach had them on the field at 6 a.m. every morning and worked them
for three hours solid so they missed the eight o'clock class which was
History and Reuben had offered to show them what he'd written.  He said
should he speak to Coach?  They looked panic-stricken.  Here were huge lads
of about nineteen dead scared of Coach.  Adam laughed and said he could see
why later.

     Anyway, he said he would be willing to take them over the course at a
different time as long as they promised not to copy another's work.  They
looked so relieved because one said if they didn't pass they would be in
line for losing their Scholarships.  Adam said he missed lunch for three
whole weeks while he and they toiled over the set book.  He said the looks
of gratitude were something after they did the resit and the Professor
graded them two B's and one A.  Unheard of!

     Coach he discovered was a three-hundred and fifty pound, that's
twenty-five stone to the Brits, ex-footballer, who had the reputation of
driving his charges rather hard.  A slight case of light irony as he ruled
them with a rod of iron metaphorically, but with a tongue which lashed them
repeatedly with threats of emasculation and hints about their non-
masculinity in any case.  Adam said he'd been the star when he joined in
one of these sessions and managed to keep up with the punishing routine, so
much so that Coach had finished up the session with the words, "If that
skinny-assed English dude can do it the rest of you pansy-livered
mother-fuckers should do double, but the Brits have grit, d'you understand?
My Grandaddy was in London during that War and he said even when London was
bombed the King and Queen were there and that takes grit, d'you hear!"
Adam said he was then bear-hugged and if you've been bear-hugged by a three
hundred and fifty pound grizzly you'd know what bear-hugs were.  As he was
hugged Coach had whispered, "Thank you, sir, those boys woulda been in deep
shit otherwise, I'm most grateful."

     He said it also led to invitations to a couple of their parties and as
he was over twenty- one he was most popular as one of the lads took him to
the next town where he stocked up the car each time with several cases of
beer.  He also had invites to visit various places.  He said one of the
lads who he'd helped, who got the A and was rather sweet, had invited him
to his Daddy's farm in Iowa and was most interested to find Adam's father
was also a farmer and they'd swapped tales of farming as the lad was taking
the Agricultural course and was destined to go back and run the vast
acreage.  As Jed also didn't have a girlfriend he just wondered!

     Adam was assigned to Mr Finch-Hampton's set.  In fact, though he and
James Al- Hamed would be sharing it for tutorials he was bedding down there
when not at Dude's.  To the comment 'a bit spooky' he pointed out that
Simon Finch-Hampton had been a cousin of sorts and he was just as
interested as anyone else in finding out who did the dirty deed and it
sounded as if Simon had had a pretty rough early life.

     On the Wednesday after Adam reappeared I was in my study late
afternoon when my mobile rang.  It was Frankie.

     "Hi, had a letter today.  I've passed!!  Brill!!"

     "Oh, Frankie, congrats, I am pleased.  Ask Mum to give you a big hug
from me."

     "Can't, she's hugging me already.  ....Mum I can't breath!  OK here's
the phone."

     "Hi Mum, that's good news.  But don't give him too many hugs or I
shall think he's the favourite."

     "He's my little precious boy, aren't you darling?"  Mum said, knowing
that would bring out a typical Toad response.  But I don't think it did, he
was too euphoric.  I could hear him in the background. "I love you, too,
Mum..."  Creep!  But it was good news.

     "Tell him there's a present for him on the top shelf of my wardrobe.
It's wrapped."

     It was, and labelled, "To Francis Foster ARCM", as I was sure he'd
pass.  But what had I parcelled up for a randy, over-sexed, over-endowed,
rather bright seventeen-year-old?  A bound copy of a year's issues of
Playboy?  No!  A pack of three-dozen fruit-flavoured condoms?  No!!  A copy
of the Kama Sutra, lavishly illustrated?  No!!! (In any case he had the
translated book and also 'Paul's Odyssey' to keep his right hand active.)
No, I'd left him something to keep right and left hands, plus both feet,
active.  A copy of his own: Bach's Eighteen Chorale Preludes.  I thought,
in years to come he could say what an old stick-in-the-mud brother he
had....  But, underneath, I knew Frankie better than that!

     "Oh, and Mum," I finished up as he was still burbling on in the
background, "Tell him there's a letter in the post to him telling him to go
to Moss Bros for a fitting for a kilt and there's one for Dad, too."  I
shut my mobile.  Charles had decided that Mother's account would be raided
for the special occasion at Ulvescott.  I think he was rather envious he
wasn't invited.  We would have to see what we could do about an invite for
him later.


     The presentation of the solving of the code had to be organised.  I
had a meeting with the Physics don who was in charge of the computerised
presentation, or Power Point as he called it.  He had digital photos of my
book and the coin but wanted the Latin and the coded message in the records
typed out, then my solution, in two colours, etc.  etc.  Yes, he would
operate the gadgetry, I just had to talk.

     It wasn't too bad.  I put on my best suit, with College tie and
polished black shoes.  In fact the row of us looked like very smart
tailor's dummies except that Gabe's rather thick neck over-filled his
collar and he was going rather red in the face until the Chaplain's wife
suggested he undid the top button of his shirt.

     There must have been well over sixty people in the very beautifully
panelled and subtly lit room.  Rows of chairs had been brought in after the
usual furniture had been removed we were informed by Charles, who was
talking avidly most of the time with the Bursar's wife.  Heavy curtains
were drawn over the end of the room and we were regaled with plates of
tidbits and glasses of good wine by Liam, Sean and the two servers.  As
well as the Museum people I'd met, there were dozens of tutors and assorted
wives and companions.

     I was grabbed by James Tanner, who was with Paul Phillips, and
introduced to several dons I'd seen around but had no idea what they
taught; Anglo-Saxon, Veterinary Studies, Political Economy, Land Economy,
German and a very tall blonde lady who was Reader in Scandinavian and
Icelandic Studies as far as I could gather.  All were hugely friendly and
James kept looking at me with a quizzical air.  Safar was there with his
wife and was surrounded by a group, including two men I recognised as being
in the University Orchestra in the viola section.  They turned out to be
Fellows in Medieval History and Organic Chemistry.  I saw Tris with Gabe
talking to Aubrey Fullerton and a very severely dressed, middle-aged lady.
Oh, yes, Gabe's Philosophy tutor, 'Doc Miss Bloody Anstruther- Lamb', as he
usually referred to her, with awe and reverence I might add.  What a mix.
Me, Maths and a musician and I had no idea all these other things were
going on.

     After a while the Master stepped forward.  "My Lord, Ladies and
Gentlemen, may we begin.  Please take your seats."

     'My Lord'?  Oh yes, the Fellow in Political Economy had recently been
given a Life Peerage.

     The heavy curtains were withdrawn to reveal a screen and a long
refectory table with various of the artefacts on it.  At the end was my box
and that was where the evening's talk started. The lights went off and the
Physics don showed the first picture of the presentation.  'Vox audita
perit...'  At the bottom the code beginning:
          'O Q I T H N P
          L N Z B A O L
          J Q D P Q O F'

     I explained about our Nine O'clock Knock meetings and there was a
ripple of subdued laughter.  Then how the translation had been done and my
idea that the code might be letter substitution but the clue came while
listening - and I did say half-listening and looked at the Chaplain who
grinned - to a sermon about light and realised that was in English and
'Fiat Lux' in Latin had seven letters and used that.  There was another
subdued rumble and nodding of heads.  More pictures, of my main room and of
the organ-stops. I then explained how I'd solved the 'PULL THE GAMBE'
puzzle and how Tris, my room-mate, had found the body and that solved
another puzzle. I glossed over that.  Then we'd realised the lower cellar
was not the same size as the Pennefather Set.  And that was how the
treasures were found.  The first being the box..  I said that had a
message, too, and another picture showed that, followed by the solution.  I
put on white gloves and opened the box and took out the book and then
showed the coin.  There was subdued, then a crescendo, of clapping.

     After that the archaeologists and Museum people took over and
described a good number of the things found in the various boxes.  It was a
fascinating evening.  At the end there were lots of questions.  But first,
his Lordship, the Fellow in Political Economy, looked over to me where I
was sitting near the back.  He said first of all that the find had set all
sorts of bells ringing in Whitehall, Downing Street and Lambeth Palace, and
even as far as the Chancellor of the University, the Duke of Edinburgh.
The Archbishop had told Whitehall and the Prime Minister it was none of
their business and as far as he was concerned the treasure was safe in
perpetuity.  And, here he paused, "He also said, and I pass on his message,
'Mr Foster has every right to the box and its contents but did he realise
its value and could he afford the insurance?'..."  There was a round of
applause again and also suppressed laughter.  So the College had the right
to the treasure and I had the right to the box and contents.  And that from
he who should know!  "....He said that no doubt the Museum authorities
would be glad to assist by having the objects on loan."  He paused again.
"Have you had a valuation on the coin?" he asked me.  I stood up and shook
my head.  He nodded.  "As a precaution I asked the man at Sotheby's and he
estimates for the Double Leopard coin not less than one hundred and fifty
thousand pounds..."  There was a concerted gasp.  "...But, he was not
prepared to hazard a guess for the Book of Hours.  On the international
market it would be bid up and up was his opinion.  No limit!"  He looked at
me.  "Mr Foster.  Use these gifts wisely.  Do not be pressurised into any
decisions.  If you need advice at any time, just ask.  And by the way, the
Chancellor will be here soon for a Convocation so be prepared."

     I said in no way would I ever sell the gifts.  As far as I was
concerned they belonged to the College and, in the wider sense, the
country.  They had been loaned to me.  I would take advice on where they
should be placed and as far as insurance was concerned I would ask the
Chaplain if there could be a retiring collection after the next service
where I would play as the outgoing voluntary something based on themes from
'Half a Sixpence'!

     The Museum people when questioned said there had been several
enquiries already about a travelling exhibition, not only in this country
but also abroad.  Dr Palfrey laughed.  "It'll be a question of insurance
again.  Mark isn't the only one, but I can assure him his gifts will be
safe in our hands, if we may have the loan of them."

     At the end I was congratulated on all sides and there were a number of
requests to see the 'Gambe' door opened.  I wondered what might happen if
Nat Temple was right and there were lots of wall paintings as well down in
the cellar.

     It was also odd that around me were all these other people working
away in subjects I never knew existed.  Perhaps I lived in a rather
restricted world even in College?  I had my group of friends and I had got
to know individual members of the choir but, other than that, I was fairly
oblivious about everything else.  I heard the gossip about Tris's
involvement in Basketball and Rugger and the general chit-chat, say, about
the drinking and dining clubs and the so-called Hooray-Henries which the
College seemed to have in a decreasing number.  Outside College I had made
friends at the Club.  A gay enclave and some very nice people.  I'd got to
know Jason and Liam fairly well.  Jason came regularly for an organ lesson
each week and was progressing well.  He said now that Adam was back he was
getting on with the History A Level and the two PhD students who were
helping him with the other two subjects were great.

     I think I had made friends with James Tanner and Safar especially and
the Chaplain and his wife were most solicitous about not only mine but
everyone's welfare.  I felt all treated me as equals and discussed this in
a NOK session later.  Even Gabe said although Doctor Alice Anstruther-Lamb
scared the bloody knickers off him she was a friendly old soul and was
always ready for a cup of tea and a chat after knocking his bloody brain
for six.  He said Lorenzo felt the same about his tutor even if he did have
the habit of tapping Lo just above the knee to make a point when sitting
side by side poring over some Italian text.

     Tris was especially voluble that night after the presentation.
"Marky, old love, I just watched you with admiration.  First up and you
didn't show any nerves.  You had poise and his Lordship saw that, too, when
he spoke to you at the end.  And I watched James Tanner when he was talking
to you earlier.  You and he, and I mean it properly, were like father and
son.  Paul told me James can't quite make you out.  He said he thinks he
recognises a bit of himself in you..."

     "But, Tris," I said interrupting him and moving my head up to look
into his eyes, "He's an internationally known mathematician and I'm...."

     He silenced me with a kiss on my lips.  "..But he had to start
somewhere, too, don't forget," he said quietly as we parted and started to
make serious, ardent, impassioned love.

     However much we did each night only meant that it primed us ready for
our next encounter.  There were always differences, subtle differences now,
in our approaches to each other.  We never set out to be the dominant or
the submissive partner.  In fact, there was no dominance even with one or
the other thrusting and ramming ever more insistently before speeding to
that final release of all our love.  We lay afterwards caressing the one
spent by his exertions until the other was ready for whatever pleasure he
wanted to share.  Sharing it was.  If, for example, Tris brought me to a
staggering culmination with my spunk spraying uncontrollably over one or
both of us our lips and tongues would be ready both to receive and give.
We knew that all belonged to each other.


     The Burns Night weekend at Ulvescott Manor came all too quicky.  We
both felt our work was mounting up but the weekend would be a welcome
break.  Safar said he and his wife would drive Tris and me to the Manor.
Adam said he would go on the motor-bike as long as we carried his luggage.
Cheek!  Ivo would make the cross-country journey from the village where he
was staying.  Uncle George and Aunt Sophie would be travelling by train all
the way from Dorset and would be collected from the station by one of the
guards.  That left Mum, Dad and the Toad who were driving up - Dad had
chuntered on that the A1M would be hell on a Friday afternoon.  Toad
wangled the afternoon off from school so they could set out earlier.

     That meant when we rolled up the rest of our family were all there.
We were welcomed by the Sheik and the elder Dr Thomson and had to recount a
bit of the discovery.  Frankie was nowhere to be seen.  He'd been
commandeered by Saf's two young sons again and appeared with the elder one
grasping his hand and the younger one being carried, with the wolfhound
trotting along beside them.  "Just been to see the workshops," he said in
explanation.  Tris and I were then leapt upon and had to listen while the
elder one extolled Frankie's virtues - the virtuous one just stood and
grinned while making a fuss of the huge dog.  I asked where all the others
were.  Mum and Dad were still at the musical instrument workshop and Uncle
George and the Colonel, with Aunt Sophie, were in the study reliving army
life.  I'd forgotten that Uncle George had been a soldier and was an
officer before getting married and taking over his father's farm.  It was a
bit chaotic to say the least.  Frankie said we three were in the Horsebox
and Ivo and Adam would be in Piers' room.  I asked, first of all, before
making any comments about him sharing with us, where the Thugs were at the
moment.

     "Last seen going into the room upstairs, arguing as usual.  Don't
laugh when you see Ivo," he said and would not be drawn on what about Ivo
would make one laugh.

     So to find out we trundled upstairs with our bags and went to the
Horsebox first.  Even there we could hear Adam's raised voice so we dropped
everything and went through the bathroom and into Piers' room through the
open door.

     "And I tell you, shave the bloody thing off before dinner tonight,"
Adam's aggrieved voice was loud and clear.  There was Ivo standing on the
other side of the bed.  He was sporting a neat little goatee beard as black
and as dense as his shock of hair.  "You look like one of Mum's bloody
goats and that's the nanny!  Your balls aren't big enough to be a ram!"

     Ivo saw us and held up a hand.  "Hi, just getting an earful from
Popeye here.  He couldn't grow a beard if he wanted to."  He directed the
rest at his brother, who was standing with his back to us.  "Needs
testosterone, matey, and that's something you woefully lack.  Little gland
in your little brain, sunshine, you ought to get it to work a bit."

     Adam swung round.  "You two, tell him what a dickhead he looks!"

     "Haven't seen any dick heads with such a crop of hair.  Hairy balls
but not hairy dick heads," said Tris.

     "I need backing up, great prune he looks," said Adam to Tris with
quite a vindictive tone.

     Ivo wasn't too pleased either.  "Trust you to make mock, too.  I can
tell you this style is all the rage in Rothenia at the moment and as I'm
going there for Easter with 'Tory I want to show willing."

     "Show willing, as long as it's not...."

     "...Shut up," I said interrupting the ebb and flow, "I can hear the
patter of tiny feet."

     It was too.  Little Jeremy rushed in first followed by Frankie
carrying Andrew.

     "Uncle Ivo! Uncle Ivo! Grandpa Lachs wants you!  He knows where you're
going.."

     A muttered 'More than we do!' was heard in the land.

     "You know which one's Uncle Ivo?" I asked

     "Yes, I saw him downstairs," he looked from one brother to the other,
"They're twins, aren't they, like Daddy and Uncle Jak?"  He looked
pointedly at Ivo.  "I know him though 'cause he looks like Mr Sampson's
Billy."

     "Billy?" I asked.

     He nodded.  "Billy's got a beard like that but it's straggly."  His
nose wrinkled.  "And he smells.  We don't go near him."

     "Very wise," said Adam, "Sniff Uncle Ivo."

     A very obedient boy did just that.  Ivo lifted him up and he brushed
his nose against his cheek.  "You smell nice.  Not like that horrible
goat!"

     Honours were even.  Billy must have balls!  Something for Ivo to point
out to his brother later.

     Ivo went off carrying both small boys.  Frankie had a smile on his
face.

     "I didn't think I liked small kids but they're smashing.  Jeremy's
full of questions and Andrew tries to imitate all he does."

     "Getting broody, duckie?" I said and reached up and ruffled his very
neat gelled-up hair.

     He didn't even duck away.  "If you put it like that, yes, I suppose
so.
  I suppose we were like that..."

     "...Once upon a time," said Adam with a laugh.  "I must say I feel the
same when you see two bright kids like that.  At least he recognised Ivo's
male!"

     "D'you think we'll have kids like that in a few years time, Adam?"
Frankie was in a really pensive mood.

     "Frankie, to tell you the truth I don't know about me."  He nodded.
"You, definitely, and Uncle Adam will be there to keep them in order."

     "It's just.." he hesitated, "..It's this place.  I feel I keep being
told things and I'll know about them later."

     "Yes," I said, "I know what you mean.  I think Ivo and Adam will learn
more as well.  I feel at home here, too."

     "Funny you should say that, Marky," said Adam, "As soon as I came
through that front door it was like I'd been here before, or I'd known it
all my life."

     I said how this room was the 'peaceful room' of my dreams.  Tris said
we had better ask the younger Dr Thomson to tell us more.

     After unpacking we went downstairs again where there was a general
buzz of conversation.  Ivo was sitting with his father and the Colonel.
The Sheik had Mum and Aunt Sophie either side and his dark eyes were
glittering with fun as they were laughing over something or other, I think
it was a photograph of Aunt Sophie as a young girl in her bathing costume
showing off the birthmark.  Dad and Safar were with the older Dr Thomson
and were studying a music manuscript and the other twins, Jak and Saf, were
playing with Saf's two small boys and Frankie joined that group
immediately.  Of course, there were questions about the finding of the
treasure and all the other things.  I heard Jak ask Frankie how far he'd
got in the translated book.  Frankie wrinkled his nose, 'About page 10 I
think.'  The twins laughed, knowing full well that most boys would read and
re-read those opening pages where the youngsters are observed as I had
done.

     Before dinner the young boys had gone off to bed.  Their mother,
Chrissie, came down and beckoned me and Tris.  "Mark, Jeremy wants you two
to read the bedtime story tonight to them and tomorrow he wants Uncle Ivo
and Uncle Adam and could they play with Francis all day tomorrow?"  She
laughed.  "I think I'll pack them up and you can take them off to College
about fifteen years early!"  Five minutes into the joint telling from a
very old battered copy of 'Swiss Family Robinson' they were contentedly
fast asleep.

     Dinner was quite formal.  Exquisitely cooked by the resident chefs and
served by lads from the local Catering College we heard.  We also heard
that the Burns Night Supper the next night would have more attending.  I
was rather open-mouthed when the Colonel announced that his son and wife
would be there as well as Jody Fuller and Peter DeLisle.  I'd heard of
them.  In fact I'd seen a ballet they had choreographed at Sadler's Wells.
Yes, I had seen the dotted lines on the family tree in Piers' room.  Jody
Fuller was Dr Thomson's sixth 'son', and the Colonel's son had been adopted
by him and was number three.  All rather complicated.

     Bed that night was no complication.  We said goodnight to Ivo (still
with neat beard) and Adam and warned Toad if he so much as moved during the
night he would have to sleep in the bath.  We were called decrepit old
things and we needed our beauty sleep more than he did and was only shut up
when Tris took down a very whippy riding crop, labelled Gymkhana 1927, from
the wall and said 'one more word, laddie!'.

     No, it wasn't bad.  The bed was big enough and wide enough to
accommodate three hefty lads and what with the good food and the very nice
wine, or grape juice as it was delicately called, we all soon fell asleep.
My recollection of the night was such a peaceful atmosphere broken by what
could only be described as a sort of storm.  Dark clouds but these were
dispersed suddenly by the bright rays of the sun breaking through.
Whatever that foretold I knew I would survive, somewhat affected, but
essentially unscathed.

     Frankie woke us just before seven o'clock as he had been sleeping
between us.  "Must go for a pee and I'll check on the others."  We grunted.
Being woken up like that meant I needed a pee, too.  After I heard the
flush I sidled out, discharged a copious amount and peeked in through the
half-open door of Piers' room.  Frankie was sitting on the upright chair by
the bed gazing at the still fast asleep twins.  They were facing each other
head to head.  I could see Ivo had his arm round Adam's shoulder and their
breathing was absolutely synchronous.

     He stood up, smiled at me and we left the room.  "I slept like that
last night," he said, "I felt once that somebody had their arm round me
just like that.  I knew I was safe."

     We had just got back to the Horsebox when the door handle was rattled.
I tipped Frankie out to investigate.  He opened the door and there was
young Jeremy with little thumb-sucking Andrew in tow.

     "Mum and Dad are asleep," Jeremy announced, "And Andrew wants to do a
wee and I can't find the lav."

     Uncle Francis was patience itself.  I watched as he led the two boys
through to the bathroom and left them to it.  I'd noticed there was even a
small stool for small boys to stand on which must have dated back to Piers'
young days.

     "Is he still asleep?" was Jeremy's first question when they returned.
He was pointing at Tris who was pretending to be asleep.  "And where is
Uncle Ivo?" was the second.

     Frankie and I took the boys through to the other room and perched them
on the bed with the sleeping Ivo and Adam.  Jeremy put his arm across Ivo
as he lay down.  "I think we'll stay here.  The boy can tell us another
story."

     I said to Frankie I thought I would wash and dress and he might as
well follow as things would get crowded.  In fact we were down having a
quiet breakfast with the Colonel who was also an early riser when the other
three lads came down.  They were laughing as the two little'uns wanted to
come down in their pyjamas but were trundled back to their parents' room
where Chrissie, now awake, was wondering where they had got to.

     Tris asked the Colonel a bit about the Manor and we sat, fascinated,
as he told of his early visits but he said we should talk to Dr Thomson of
how he had first experienced the place way back in the early 1940's.

     There was plenty to do and see that day and also to prepare for the
Burns Night Supper.  Ivo and Adam were particularly calm all day.  No
argy-bargy, no arguments, just talking together quietly and going around
with very satisfied smiles.  They also talked to the three old gentlemen
and Ivo spent ages with the elder Dr Thomson as he had taught French at one
of the other Colleges.  Tris and I at lunch sat with the younger Dr Thomson
and his friend, Ibrahim.  They said the arrangements for the evening would
include a piper and they hoped we would be dressed appropriately.

     During the afternoon other guests began to arrive.  It was going to be
quite a gala evening.  Mum and Dad knew several, the ballet contingent
especially, and there was much laughter.  Frankie was itching to get
changed and was warned he wasn't to think of going 'commando' as he put it.
We said the dog would be on sentry duty and he would sniff out any
uncovered appendages.  Anyway, the contingent of kilted warriors would have
put Braveheart to shame even if great-grandmothers were the nearest we
could get to the glens.  The Colonel was in mess jacket and tartan trews
and the other two wore dinner jackets with their trews, otherwise it was
the wearing of the kilt.  Then it was the Grace, then soup followed by the
piper leading the chef carrying the dish of haggis.  The Colonel did the
address to the haggis and plunged his dirk and let free 'the gushing
entrails..'. There were tatties and neeps and plenty of the golden 'gravy',
a rather special Highland malt whisky, to accompany.  As the dinner
progressed we had the usual toasts, 'To the Ladies!' and the ladies
response, which Aunt Sophie did to much applause, to 'Absent Friends' and
'To The Queen'.  These were interspersed with the usual poems and after Ivo
had brought the house down with 'On seeing a louse on a ladies bonnet in
church', Saf recited 'My luve is like a red, red rose' and raised his glass
to Chrissie, his wife.

     After dinner we were all commanded to entertain.  Safar, in a Cameron
tartan kilt, accompanied Dad in his Frobisher kilt, which we had discovered
was one great-grandmother, in a selection of Scottish airs and dances.  We
had an impromptu sword-dance performed by the retired ballet stars, and the
ladies, swathed in tartans of all sorts, grabbed gentlemen and did a rather
hectic and unpolished eightsome reel, with Frankie whirling like a dervish
and his kilt rising as he twirled.  I played and Tris sang two Scottish
ballads and we all ended up in a glorious circle linking hands and singing
'Auld Lang Syne'.  It was, no doubt, one of the happiest evenings I had
ever had.

     Next day we had all sobered up and people were departing.  Tris and I
sat with Ivo and Adam during the morning and they said they'd both
experienced that quiet presence.  Ivo said he knew his destiny now and we
didn't ask.  Adam was more unsure we felt.  He had a career most probably
mapped out.  Research and lecturing.  But he needed love in his life.  He
confided that he and Dude got on very well.  They were ardent lovers but
they knew they would not be life-long companions.  Dude had said that Adam
really needed someone younger but he was content at the moment.  Ivo did
say he missed the daily tussle of mind and body with Adam.  To be parted
now after twenty-one years or so was strange and he hoped he was coping.
Adam said the trip to America had helped him adjust to the changes in his
life.  He was glad though he was back in College and there were good
friends around.


     At the first NOK session all the others wanted to know how the weekend
went.  As Jak had taken numerous photos with his digital camera and had
sent copies by e-mail to Tris there were many questions about the guests
and plenty of giggles over the stories told.  We then heard that another of
the 'druggie crowd' as Josh called them had ended up in Addenbrookes at the
weekend.  The Master was having a meeting with the President of the
Students' Union and his committee to discuss matters and as Josh was Acting
Social Secretary he would be there.  Also Drew was making himself even more
obnoxious as he was not only ranting on the Market Square even on bitterly
cold days but was now more determinedly banging on doors and demanding the
occupants should give up their sinful ways.  He seemed to have targeted the
new double-occupancy sets in particular.

     "What calumnies, my dears," said Charles, rather aggrieved at this and
shaking his head, "I'm sure there is no more activity of a morally
reprehensible nature in those sets than in the others to which I have seen
numerous young ladies, and even young gentlemen, being escorted."

     "Keeping your ear to the ground, eh Charles?" said Ben, "Or do you
have a telescope?"

     "Benjamin, my sweet, if you cast your eyes further than studying the
causes of the Great Depression...," He was reading Economics with
Mathematics.  "...you would be aware that two of your confederates on the
self-same course are spending more time studying the curves of a different
order of supply and demand most evenings.  The progress of input and output
are readily discernible as one takes a stroll to and from the Porter's
Lodge.  I am sure the names will spring effortlessly to mind if I mention
my little difficulty in assigning compatible pairs.  At least with single
occupancy they are not encumbered with having to make excuses to the other
inhabitant."

     We were laughing at this usual Charles-type rigmarole and Ben
snickered.  "Yes, Mr Pretty has landed a rather stunning young lady, much
to the annoyance of a fellow student at Pembroke, but I am not aware of
Phil Orford's paramour.  He seems a bit of a loner in lectures."

     Charles held up his glass, "Benjamin, even if you freshened my gin and
tonic I would not divulge such particulars but I know that Drew Penry-Jones
has made him a particular object of his attentions.  Whether it is because
he is the choir or whether he is seen in the company of certain persons I
would not hazard a guess to the cause, except I have heard him exhorting
the young man in no uncertain terms to abjure various evils and then
listing their consequences in relation to his soul and the afterlife."

     Ben took the hint and 'freshened' the glass.  'Freshened' being
another term Charles had imported from the States.

     "But, Charles," said Adam, "Why doesn't he just give Drew the Bryce
treatment and up-end him in the fountain?"

     "I think there may be some differences, pardon my observations dear
Gabriel and Joshua, between the more exuberant belligerence of some of the
Antipodean brethren as seen in their annihilation of other countries in the
matter of Rugby Football and the more placid nature of young men brought up
in the Home Counties in England.  A mere observation, I must make clear."

     "Fucking too right," grunted a rather amused Gabe, "Namby-pamby little
gits."

     Before war between the hemispheres broke out it was time for some
conciliatory gesture.  Tris was to the fore, even though he was definitely
Home Counties material and played Rugby Football.  "Hey, Boz," he said with
as straight a face as possible after the previous interlude, "You haven't
divulged how far you've got with your Templars for ages.  Tell all!"

     "Not much really.  I'm still trying to make out whether the
Confraternity of the Holy Sepulchre who are supposed to have built the
Cambridge Round Church had anything to do with the Knights Templar.  It's
obvious the Knights were around this area at the time, somewhere around
1170 and I've had some pointers looking at an old document supposedly
written by Aymeric de St Maur who was at the church in 1200.  He notes the
rumours of treasure and mentions what can only be Baldock from studying the
old map with the document."

     "Treasure again!" said Ben with a laugh.  "If it's the Templar
treasure it'll rival all the stuff found below here!"

     "Too true," said Boz, "But don't get too excited.  There are so many
guesses to what the treasure might be from a phial of Christ's Blood, to
the Holy Grail, to actual money and jewels."

     "Like those books?" asked Ben.  "My Dad's had so many people asking if
he believes Jesus Christ married Mary Magdalene and, if so, who's related
now.  He's also had two women in the parish who believe they're the Virgin
Mary.  Being a vicar you meet some real wierdos!"

     "I can believe that," said Gabe, even more amused that his provocative
statement hadn't taken wings.  "There's a bloke parades around bloody
Sydney saying he's the Messiah."

     "Need one for Australia!" said Oliver, hoping to stir the embers a
bit.
  No takers!  We looked at each other.  Gabe must be mellowing.

     Boz ignored the interruption and went on.  "That about the Blood is
odd as the Holy Sepulchre church in London was supposed to have it.  In
fact Henry the Third had a procession from St Paul's to Westminster in 1247
carrying the relic.  And what is interesting is that it has disappeared
since then."

     "And it may be around still?" asked Josh.

     Boz shrugged his shoulders.  "There are a number of documents around
which suggest it might have been brought to Cambridge, or might be in the
vaults of Westminster Abbey where he's buried.  No codes though, just
ecclesiastical Latin."

     "Are you going digging?" asked Gabe.

     "Only for documents," laughed Boz, "I've got plenty to read now, but
anything else is always welcome.  I hope to be allowed to trawl through all
that stuff from the monasteries because none of the wealth of the Templars
has ever been found and they did act as bankers."

     All this speculation!  Boz had shown me his listing of all the places
where Templar treasure might be found and had said how excited the people
of Royston, just along the road from Cambridge, had been in the 1700's when
a cave had ben discovered and shown to have been painted with religious
imagery.  No treasure.  Then there was a church fairly near in a village
where rumours had always been around.  Perhaps more excavation.  But it was
evidence he needed, he said.  Still, making sense of the documentation he
had got was fascinating in itself.

     There was something rankling with Gabe though.  There were a few
moments silence while glasses were refilled then Gabe grunted.  "Anyway got
some news for you all.  My fucking little brother's coming over.  Dad's got
fed up with him idling his arse off surfing and sunning and thinks I should
look after the little bastard here."

     "At the College?" asked Tris.

     "No.  Bastard's only bloody seventeen and he needs a fucking firm hand
I can tell ya.  Mum's little boy he is and got a mouth like a bloody sewer.
Ya may think I have a bloody one or two too many but he's had the push from
two schools for telling the bloody beaks where to shove their bloody rules.

     "He's not too bad," interjected Josh, "Mum says he's OK with her."

     "Your Mum's a bloody saint," said Gabe vehemently, "Fucking put up
with you and that lairy bloody sister of yours." He quietened down.
"Sorry, Josh, you know what I mean.  Raph did the dirty on me over me best
mate.  Fucking squealed to Dad that I was being porked when he was caught
videoing those kids shagging in the dunes.  Mum said he was getting shots
for his school project but we fucking knew he was going to post it on the
Net."

     We were all giggling even though poor Gabe was getting even more
worked up.  Boz was being conciliatory.  He ignored the 'porking' and the
'shagging in the dunes' - things to be returned to at some time.  "What's
his name, Gabe?  You said Raph.  Another angel?  Raphael?"

     Gabe grunted.  "Too bloody true!  Bastard's no bloody angel I can tell
you."  He took quite a swig from his glass.  "Mum's got this thing about
angels.  Looks like a bloody angel.  All blond curls but no fucking halo!"
He laughed.  "Still he's been caught shagging the daughter of a mate of
Dad's who's not too pleased."

     It was Josh's turn to laugh.  "Her dad's a bloody politician.  Bent as
a bloody corkscrew!  There, Gabe, I've said it for you."

     Gabe nodded.  "The bastard's said he goes, or he'll get Dad chucked
out of the Golf Club.  God, she's at least twenty and I should think every
prick at the Golf Club's been entertained to at least eighteen holes.  How
fucking Raph got a look in I don't know."

     "He was at that school with her brother and they've both got quad
bikes," said Josh, "He was always over at their house."

     "House!" said Gabe vehemently, "Fucking mansion!  Nearly did the dirty
on Dad over that.  Blamed him 'cause of some regulation he broke when it
was built but talked his way out of it.  It was that brother with Raph up
the dunes."

     "So, what will he do when he comes over here?" Tris asked.

     "Fuck knows," said Gabe rather disconsolately, "Need a bloody strong
hand to keep the bugger under control."

     "What about that chap at the Club.  The DCI, Brad?  His son and mate
are in the house as well," Oliver said.

     Gabe brightened up.  "Fuck me!" he breathed, "Bloody good idea!  He'd
have to toe the line there!  D'you think I could ask him?"

     "Worth a try," said Tris.  "I'm sure we'll help.  What's his school
work like?"

     "Last I heard from my Mum he's not too bad," said Josh, "He's living
at our place and he seems to have settled down a bit.  Mum says he just
needs a bit of understanding."

     Gabe began to gobble.  "Little bastard.  I'll understand him!"

     Tris leaned over and filled Gabe's glass.  "Cool it, lad.  He did you
a kindness.  You're over here and you're enjoying it.  You've got Lorenzo
now and you've told us he's what you've always wanted.  So, give your
brother a break.  You can't do much about it.  He's coming, full stop, eh?"

     Gabe sat back.  "S'pose so!  Will you come and see Brad with me?
Appreciate it."

     Tris nodded and Gabe was mollified and took a satisfied swig from his
glass.  But, other things were rankling.

     "Bloody students," he began.  "Josh and I were coming across the
bridge from the boathouse in our sweats and I was in front and passed a
coupla hoorays perving at the boaties."  There were always students and
others peering at the eights passing underneath the bridge and Tris and I
had 'perved' on numerous occasions at the hunky straining biceps and thighs
of the oarsmen and wondered if they put as much effort into their bedtime
activities.  Probably too tired was our opinion.  But...  "Musta been
Classics twats 'cos one looked round at me and said to his pal, 'Vervex'
and the other sniggered and said 'merus inepta'.  Bloody hell!  Bloody
sheepshead and bloody stupid!  I just turned and pointed at the first one
as Josh came up and said in my best fucking la-di-dah 'Ecce, stercus pro
cerebro habes' and for bloody good measure pointed at the second one and
said 'hic scholasticus prothex!'.

     There was a slight silence, broken only by a snort from Boz, until
Gabe looked round at the rest of us.  "Bloody hell!  I forget you fuckers
ain't had a proper education."  He shook his head and enunciated carefully,
"'Shit for brains' and 'arsehole'!  God!  I don't know what this bloody
world is coming to!"  He sniggered.  "Shoulda seen their fucking faces,
though.  Thought they were in for a bloody dip in the river!!"

     Of course, in bed that night, there was plenty to discuss.  We had a
little giggle about Gabe getting worked up and also his reaction to the
students.  I said Tris was such a good friend to everyone and he told me he
was very fond of Gabe anyway.  Yes, he'd go with him to see Brad and we
should all be in on this.  I said OK, mate, but you'll be off next year to
Law School.  He said we'd cope without him.  It took a moment or two to
sort that out.  Cheeky hound!  I did give him a kiss.  Then Tris wanted to
know if I knew who Philip Orford was 'friendly' with, given that he'd had a
very intimate dance with him at the Club when the Freshers ended up there.
I said I didn't know but he wasn't to get any ideas as I'd noted both
Pretty and Orford were members of the Basketball Club and there was to be
no sharing of soap or towels and was the lad well-hung?  Tris said
moderately.  My chance!
  We giggled together even more as I tackled him both bodily and verbally.
Verbally over having eyed the lad's equipment; bodily to determine whether
I would assess him as being well-hung.  I did.  Then he assessed me and
this lead to a tussle and a rather exuberant end to the day.

     The next morning was cold and we wrapped up well before embarking on
our run.  This was now a staircase ritual and as we filed out into a cold,
damp, Cambridge morning we all moaned about how conditioned we'd become to
such a rite.  "Think of breakfast after," said Josh.  "I'm thinking of it
before," said Boz, who led us that day.

     It was chilly and we decided to turn back after about two miles or so,
my third hedge, and as Tris and I stripped off for our showers we looked at
each other and grinned.  "More wrinkles than inches this morning," he said.
Thank goodness the hot water thawed us both out!

     I had a busy morning.  Two lectures and a quick coffee with the girls
to sort out whether we had everything down in our notes.  I wanted to
practice most of the afternoon as I had decided to take the Fellowship next
Christmas and I needed an hour or so to think quietly about the problems
set.  Must be calm even though Part One was looming next term.

     I was back in my study about quarter past twelve and realised I hadn't
collected my post from the Porter's Lodge.  I had just got out of the
staircase door when the Chaplain came hurrying up.

     "Mark, Mark!" he looked worried, "There's an awful noise coming from
the Chapel.  The organ's going full blast and the main door and the vestry
door are locked and my keys are at home."


To be continued: