Date: Thu, 25 Jul 2002 00:50:10 EDT
From: YgnGHETTOFABULUS@aol.com
Subject: Never Let Go Chap. 1

       Brandon you going home for Thanksgiving? Yeah. Why, are you? I don't
know I have not made up my mind yet. I don't know if I should. Why not? It's
a long story that I don't feel like telling. Oh its like dat? Naw its just a
lot of b/s I left behind at home and not worth getting into details over. Oh-
I- see.

       I was in my freshman year of college in a new city and state. I was
almost homesick but I wasn't about to run back home so soon. I had made a few
friends since I had been living here but I still missed my friends and family
back at home. When I moved here to go to school I had planned not to look
back because of the shock I gave to my family when I came out about my
sexuality. But after a while I came to the conclusion that I didn't care what
anyone had to think because, if they loved me or cared for me they would
accept my lifestyle and respect me for being me. Thanksgiving was soon
approaching and I knew I had to go home for the holiday but I was kinda
nervous. I couldn't stay here on campus while everyone else went home for
Thanksgiving. So I didn't have much of a choice. I figured I would go home
for three or four days and pretend everything is all gravy and after
Thanksgiving is all over with I would come back to New York and move on with
my life until Christmas.

       Terrence you there? Yeah. Just checking cause you got kinda quiet for
a minute. Naw I am just thinking. Where is your sexy ass roommate? I have no
idea he hasn't stayed here in two days. I seen him on campus earlier he
looked like he was going to the student union. O-well that's your business.
Whatever winch you know homeboi is sexy and you even get to live with him so
I know you know what he is working with. Whatever hoe I would love to stay
and gossip with you about my whack ass roommate but I gotta get up and off to
work. So Brandon I will call you when I get home tonight. But Terrence what
he working... I hung the  phone up before he could ask that stupid ass
question again. Besides I had other things on my mind like about my returning
home for thanksgiving and I had an hour before I had to be at work.

       I had been working at this clothing store on 125th street called
''Planet Earth''. I had been working here for about three months now and been
looking for a better job since I started. The pay was all right and so were
the hours but I could barely put up with the rude customers.

       When I got to work wasn't too many people in the store but my
stickgirl Natalie. Natalie and me had been friends since I first moved to New
York. She showed me around  the Bronx, Harlem, Brooklyn, and Packed ass
Manhattan.     Wassup girl, kinda slow ain't it. Yeah it been like this all
day. Yo boi waz in here earlier he told me to tell you Holla at em. Who? As
if you don't know, Jeremy. What he say when he came in? Nothing, he just
asked me were you working today and I told him you wasn't scheduled to come
in until Four. Then? (I said anxiously.) Then what? What did he say after you
told him that? He just told me to tell you to give him a call. Oh OK. I said
laughing. Yeah that's yo boi you need to call him with his sexy ass. How you
figure he my boi? You know you feelin dat nigga. Yeah I might be but he ain't
bout nothing. Well, homeboi is sexy as a muthafucka and if he waz straight I
would take your place and Holla at his azz.

       Jeremy was indeed sexy as a muthafucka. He stood 6ft2'',caramel
skinned, (mixed with Dominican and black) basketball players build, and some
thick full lips. The only thing I am not feelin about Jeremy is how he has
all these fags and gold digging bitches running behind his ass. Did I mention
the nigga got a phat ass bank account? Yeah homeboi got it going on. We met
when Natalie was helping him find his size jeans when he came into the store
and she noticed how he was checkin me so she asked him was he gay and you
know the rest. Well, we talked a few times and went out once but I just
wouldn't give him the time or day. But that never stopped him from trying.

       Natalie offered to take me out to dinner after work but I really
didn't feel up to it I still had the same thing on my mind. When I got back
to dorm room my roommate Alvin, was there playing a playstation game. I still
didn't understand what it was about a playstation that would make a grown ass
man spend hours in front of it. Alvin was aware of my sexuality and he wasn't
to shocked or surprised to find out when I told him. It doesn't seem to
bother him at all. Especially when he walks around butt ass naked when he get
out of the shower. Sometimes I wonder if he does this to make me want him or
to prove he is sure of his sexuality. Homeboi is sexy, got a nice body and a
big dick but I am not attracted to him at all. I still don't understand why.

       Hey Alvin. Yo wassup Terrence. Did I get any phone calls? Yeah your
momz called, she said for you to give her a call when you got in. Did she say
what she wanted? Naw dats all she said. And sum dude name Jeremy called for
you but he said he'll call you back later.

       I couldn't help but wonder what my mother wanted she only calls me
once every week because of the long distance but this had been her third time
calling this week and the second time I missed her call. As far as Jeremy I
wasn't to excited about him calling me back. I had enough on my mind, and
besides all that, I needed to study for an exam.