Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 02:31:18 -0500
From: gayboy3@hotmail.com
Subject: Nick's secret

This is the standard disclaimer.  This is a story of sex and love between
men, if this isn't your thing, you probably shouldn't read any further.  If
you shouldn't be here and you know who you are, you had better leave.  If
you don't want to, it's on your head.  Do enjoy!

Let me know what you think....gayboy3@hotmail.com


	It had been nearly a month since Nicks first encounter with a man.
It had been a month filled with extreme guilt and agony.  Nick knew what he
felt and what he wanted, but he also knew that neither his family nor his
friends would accept things that way.  A conversation that he had had with
his mother years earlier kept flashing in his mind.  They had been at one
of his mothers many meetings when they had stopped for gas.  Nick had to
have been 12 or 13 years of age.  His mother had gone in to pay for the gas
while he was pumping it.  While he stood there leaning against their car,
he struck up a conversation with another guy standing on the other side of
the pumps who was also putting gas in his car.  Their conversation had been
about nothing special, in fact, if it hadn't been for comments made later,
Nick would have most likely forgotten the incident altogether.  Nick's
mother came out of the store and rushed him into the car.  On the way home,
Nick's mother said that the man that he had been talking to was named Larry
and it was rumored that he was a homosexual.  His mother said that no
member of their family could possibly be seen fraternizing with such an
individual, not even for casual conversation at the local gas station.
Nick's heart sank then much as it was sinking now.  He was truly miserable.

	Jennifer, Nick's girlfriend, had noticed the change in his mood.
He was closed off from the world, as though something was bothering him.
How right she was, she would never know.  She had talked with her many
sorority friends about him, all of which were superficially worried for her
and the relationship.  Jennifer had learned long ago that Nick sometimes
needed his space.  This, she thought, was just another one of those times.
Still, she sensed that something was different this time.  She felt as
though he was hiding something from her.  She tried to talk with him to no
avail.  Giving up, she stopped spending as much time at his apartment.  Her
absence was both a gift and heartache for Nick; he desperately needed to
talk with someone about what had happened.  He was spiraling out of control
and he knew it, but all that he could do was lie on bed and stare at the
ceiling.  He hadn't been to class in a week.  The only reason he got out of
bed was to use the bathroom and to throw up.  He constantly thought of
Jarrod.  He felt like crying, but he couldn't.  He was so angry with
himself for not being what everyone thought he was.  His entire life was a
lie and at least before he met Jarrod, he had no frame of reference.  Now
he knew exactly what it was that he wanted, he could no longer hide in
confusion.  He had all but shut down, unable to face the dawn of his new
life as a gay male.

	Nick had heard or seen nothing of Jarrod since their encounter at
the King's Inn.  Even though Jarrod used him for sex, Nick still had a
longing to be with him.  It wasn't as much sexual as it was a mental.  He
had only gotten a taste of the gay lifestyle and he wanted to know more
about it.  The simple fact that he was still interested in either the
lifestyle or Jarrod caused him more grief.  Not only had he been used, but
he had enjoyed it.  He even craved it and as much as he tried, it always
came back to the fact that he was gay.  He had convinced himself that if he
could make it three more weeks, school would let out for winter break and
he could go back to his hometown of Saint Claire and he could put that
experience and this semester behind him.  Jennifer was not going back to St
Claire; she would instead meet her parents in Vermont to spend Christmas in
their summer home.  Nick was glad that she was not going home with him and
he was glad that she wasn't here with him now.  When he looked at her, he
was overwhelmed with guilt.  There she was, the perfect female for him and
he could not force himself to be attracted to her.  The harder that he
tried the worse it became.  Instead of being attracted to her he started to
resent her presence in his life.  He blamed her partly for his misery, he
blamed her loving him and forcing him to pretend to be something that was
becoming all too clear that he could never be.

	Nick slowly started putting things in perspective.  He was starting
to realize that he was what he was and there was little use denying it.  He
could make himself miserable for the rest of his life or he could at least
attempt to have some sort of happiness in his life.  Now he only had to
decide on what he should do with the new revelation about himself.  He knew
that he was in no situation to tell anyone in his family or any of his
friends.  He eventually ended up at the counseling center on campus.  He
spoke with a very nice lady that told him that what he was going through
was a normal part of growing up as a gay male.  She told him that his
attraction to men was normal and that his encounter with Jarrod was indeed
normal, and she agreed that Jarrod was a jerk.  Nick wanted to know how to
deal with family and friends.  All that the counselor could tell him was
that each family was different.  Some were very loving and supportive;
others were in complete denial while still others cast the individual out
of their lives completely.  She told him that only he could judge what his
family's reactions would be.  Nick already knew what their reactions would
be.

	It was 8:00 a.m. on the morning before he was to fly back home.
The ringing of the telephone awakened Nick.  He answered the phone
sleepily.  It was his twin brother, Jonathon.  "Hey man what's up?"
Jonathon said in his normal high-energy tone.

	"Not much, just sleeping in.  What are you doing?  Where are you
anyway?"  Nick asked, climbing out of bed and slipping on a pair of shorts.

	"I'm at Mom and Dad's.  What's going on up there in Kentucky?"
Jonathon laughed.  "Everybody running around barefoot and pregnant?"
Jonathon laughed.  Nick missed his brother.  They were alike in many ways.
They liked the same music and movies.  They had similar tastes in clothes
and cars.  The only difference was that Jonathon was a little taller than
Nick and he had different colored eyes.

	"Yeah, the damned people vacationing from Florida are up here
knocking everyone up."  Nick shot back.  "How long you been home?"

	"I got here the night before last.  Mom and Dad have done nothing
but bitch about what I have done.  They are such prunes.  You know that?"
Jonathon sounded very aggravated.

	"Now I am shocked, I never knew Mom and dad were prunes."  Nick
said sarcastically.  "Well what did you do?  Maybe I can not make the same
mistakes."  Nick laughed for the first time in what seemed like days.

	"Nothing major, you can see when you get here.  Just calling to see
what time your plane lands.  I was going to drive up there and get you.  I
haven't seen you in forever so I have a lot to tell you."  The energy in
Jonathon's voice seemed to cheer Nick up as nothing else could.  He was
always such a perky and happy person.

	"Hold on a sec, I will check my ticket.  OK, I leave here at 3
p.m. and will arrive there in however long it takes to fly down there."
Nick staggered into the kitchen.  The sunlight glaring off the countertop
was blinding him.  He walked over and plopped down on the couch and turned
on the television.  He propped his feet up on the coffee table and leaned
over on one elbow.  He and Jonathon talked for sometime about nothing in
particular.  When he finally hung up the phone, Nick felt much better.  He
was actually looking forward to going home, something he didn't think he
would ever do.

	Nicks plane landed and he grabbed his things and headed toward the
front of the airport.  As he was walking through the airport, keeping an
eye out for his brother, he relished in the feeling of familiarity of his
surroundings even though he was still a good ways from home, it felt good
to be back in Georgia.  Suddenly someone tapped him on the shoulder and as
he turned, he could see that it was Jonathon with a few big changes.  He
was really dark skinned from the Florida sun.  His hair was dyed orange and
he had three earrings in his left ear.  There was a tattoo of barbed wire
and roses circling his wrist and another circling his ankle.  Nick just
stood there looking at Jonathon, unable to say anything about the
appearance of his brother.  Jonathon smiled back said, "Pretty radical
huh?"

	"If that is what they call it in Florida then, yeah I guess it is.
No wonder Mom and Dad freaked out.  Any particular reason that you did
this?  Some kind of statement or something?"  Nick couldn't help but laugh
at his brother.

	"Let's get your crap to the car smart ass."  Jonathon grinned
mischievously.  They had always gotten along so well.  Their entire family
was so serious and prideful, yet they marched at their own pace.  They were
often in trouble and their family was always so embarrassed because of
their actions.  It wasn't the fact that they were bad that bothered their
parents, just the fact that others knew about it.  Their parents were very
strict and the two brothers were constantly reminded that the public eye
was upon them.  Their brothers and sisters had no trouble fitting in and
obeying their parents.  It even seemed that they enjoyed it.  Neither Nick
nor Jonathon could understand the dynamics of the politically strict
southern parents that dominated their lives.  It seemed that most of the
time that neither of them really cared either.

The two brothers talked about this and that on their way home.  They were
65 miles from their town, most of the roads were meandering country roads,
so that gave them at least an hour and a half to chat.  The boys talked
about their respective campuses and the people that they met.  "Nick, you
ever have a really big secret?  I mean a really big one that would make mom
and dad flip their cans?"

	"Well no, I mean umm, sort of.  Why?"  Nick stammered.

	"Well I have.  I'll tell you, but if you tell anyone, I will be
forced to kill you and bury you in the back yard."  Jonathon laughed and
winked at Nick.

	"You know I won't tell.  I have never told anyone that you are the
reason that the courthouse caught on fire.  What could you possibly do that
would be worse than burning down the historic courthouse in St. Claire?"
Nick laughed.  Some years earlier, Nick and Jonathon had decided that they
needed a cigarette and went into the restroom on the second floor in the
courthouse.  They nearly got caught and the cigarette was partially
extinguished in the trashcan.  Needless to say, part of the second floor
was burned.  To their knowledge, they were never even suspected.

	"Hey, that could have happened to anyone."  Jonathon pretended to
be offended.

	"Yeah, any 15 year old juvenile delinquent that went to work with
his daddy the mayor and nearly destroyed the oldest building in town.
Sure, it could have happened to anyone."

"OK, smart ass.  So what I need to tell you.  Like I said this is very
important."  Jonathon repeated in a rather serious tone.

	"Shoot.  I am listening."  Nick suddenly feared that his brother
was going to come out to him.  He really wasn't sure why, most likely it
was his inner guilt surfacing and being projected onto someone else.

	"Well I hope that you understand why I did this.  I changed my
major.  I am no longer in law school.  Can you believe that?  Is that not
rebellious or what?"  Jonathon seemed really excited.  Nick was confused
and a little let down.  He had prepared himself for some intense news, and
this was it?

	"That's it?  You changed your major?  Shit.  I thought you really
did something."  Nick laughed.

	"Well just wait till you hear what my major is.  Then you will
understand why Mom and Dad will freak when they find out."

	"OK, what did you change it to?"  Nick asked sarcastically,
"Underwater basket weaving?"


	"No, shit head.  I changed it to nutrition.  I knew that you'd
understand.  Mom and dad would have a stroke if they knew, so you are not
allowed to tell anyone."  It was true, their mom and dad would have freaked
out.  A Nutrionist wasn't exactly what they had in mind for Jonathon.  It
wasn't a bad job, but it was not a position of wealth and prestige.  That
is what made it unacceptable.

	The rest of the ride home was filled with catching up.  They
laughed a lot.  Nick explained his and Jennifer's problems, leaving out
important details of course.  Jonathon explained his reasons for the major
change.  When they arrived home, they were met by their parents.  As usual
they seemed more annoyed than happy with Nick's arrival and he thought to
himself that nothing had changed.  The house still looked as though it were
some sort of museum.  Everything they did was rehearsed.  Jonathon was
severely chastised for his new look.  Nick's younger sisters were following
in the footsteps of his parents.  When he had left St. Claire a few months
ago, they were little sisters, now they were little women.  They were
proper and they did nothing unless their parents approved.  Nick was
saddened at what his parents had done to his little sisters.  Nick was
given a schedule of meetings and family functions that he was to attend.
He went to his room to find his tuxedo laid out on the bed.  He sat down on
the bed and looked at the list.  Many of them were centered around mass
while others around both his mother and father's political lives.  He was
to be there only to show a nice loving normal family.  He knew that it was
just for show, there was nothing normal about their family.  Nick frowned
as he recalled that this was one of the many reasons that he didn't want to
come home.

	Monday the day before Christmas, Nick was supposed to attend a
function that his father was putting on for some new ordinance that was to
be passed in their small town.  Nick walked into the conference hall and
looked around.  He was really sick of these things.  His entire vacation
was consumed with these political shows.  He felt so fake on the inside.
Not only was he pretending not to be gay, now he was pretending to be happy
and supportive for his father.  The inner despair that he felt was simply
draining the energy from him.  He walked to the table and sat down and
prepared for yet another night filled with political chatter and egotism.
Many other folks started to file in and sit at their respective tables with
their little clans.  Nick recognized the city council members, the judge's
office, the sheriff's office and other high-ranking officials in their
pathetic little town.  He thought to himself that all of these people, his
father included had such a self-inflated view of their power.  Most had
spent their lives trying to keep the world out of St. Claire instead of
putting St. Claire into the world.  They then claimed that they had really
done something good.  "What a crock of bull shit."  Nick said to himself.
He then noticed that a friend that he had attended Catholic school with
came in the room with his father the county attorney.  His name was Jeff
and they hadn't been particularly good friends, but it was good to see
someone his own age at least.  Jeff spotted Nick and came over and sat down
with him.  They started to talk about the meeting and other trivial things
that persons talk about at such events.

	The meeting started and Nick realized that he had no idea of what
this one was about.  His dad took the podium and as the clapping subsided,
he began to speak.  "My friends I love our little town here in the South.
We still care about one another and about the moral fabric of the
community."  Suddenly Nick had an unnerving thought.  He did not like where
this little political rally was heading.  "This great country is changing
and I don't think it is for the good.  A few miles north of here, Atlanta
allows any sort of behavior and they call it fairness.  I call it sin.
This ordinance that I have proposed will keep the queers and the whores and
the like away from St Claire.  Our children will be protected and there
will be no unduly influence."  Nick felt ill.  He looked around him and he
saw all of these men calling for the expulsion of the very thing he was.
He heard their comments and he started to feel like a caged animal.  He
couldn't listen to this now so he stood up and hurried to the door,
seemingly unnoticed.  As he came through the front doors of the building,
he saw Martin, the man hired to drive him around as though he was helpless.
His mother had said that his truck was too ill mannered and tacky to arrive
at a meeting in.  Martin jumped and opened the door.

	"No thanks Martin, just take the car on home.  I am going for a
little walk, I'll find a way home later."  Martin nodded and got in the car
and drove off towards home.  Nick started down the street.  He had no
particular place to go, just needed to get out.  He felt so alone and
misunderstood.  He wanted to leave town right then, but was afraid to.
Instead he walked down the streets and looked at the architecture of the
old buildings.  The town truly was out of a picture book.  Too bad the
folks who lived there were as stiff and shallow like paper.  Nick had such
a range of emotions brewing in his heart.  He felt so rejected.  He wanted
to hide.  But he knew that there was simply no place to escape himself, and
that was what was causing all of his pain, his very own feelings. Suddenly
he heard a voice call from behind.

	"Hey Nick, where you headed man?"  It was Jeff.

	"I couldn't take too much of that shit.  Just not my scene I
guess."  Nick looked down at his shoes and put his hands in his pocket.

	"Shit, you ought to try living here all the time.  This is a small
town and it has smaller minds.  Hey, my truck is over there, I have some,
uh spirits, if you know what I mean."  Jeff and Nick laughed.  "I could
sure use a drink right about now and you look like you could too."

	"Is it that obvious?"  Nick laughed.  The two walked across the
street and into the alley where Jeff's truck was parked.  They drank and
laughed about old times and before they knew it they were drunk and Nick
was late for some other meeting.  He didn't care.  Besides, no one would
even notice if he was there or not.  All this structure was suffocating
him.  He and Jeff decided to drive out to the local reservoir.  There was a
park out there and it was nice and quiet in the evenings.  During the
conversation, Nick learned that Jeff had started college in Atlanta, but
had gotten into some trouble and was kicked out.  His parents were wealthy
as well, his dad was the county attorney and soon to be judge of the city
of St Claire.  He didn't work and he lived with his parents.  He had no
girlfriend and he concentrated mostly on drinking and having fun.  He
didn't have a job.  His parents were strict and unemotional and they seemed
to care more about his brother, things Nick could totally identify with.

	As the two in the park, the sky was brilliantly lit with stars and
the surrounding farmland was illuminated in a blue hue.  The small glow on
the horizon to the east was the tiny town of St Claire.  Nick laughed as he
thought how nice the town looked from a distance and what a passerby may
think.  To those who lived there and were forced to conform to something
that they weren't, it was more like prison.  Nick had borrowed some clothes
that Jeff had in his truck and both boys had changed out of their tuxedos.
They now lay crumpled in the floorboard of the truck.  Jeff started to ask
Nick about his activities since high school graduation.  It could have been
the hardship of carrying the burden of a secret or the alcohol, but for
some reason, Nick felt compelled to tell Jeff the truth.  Nick exploded
into a speech that left both boys shocked.  "Well I am an engineering major
at the University of Kentucky, I had a girlfriend named Jennifer, that I
thought I liked.  Our relationship is most likely over now.  My family
members are more like employers than family.  I came home for Christmas and
here it is Christmas Eve, and my family is at a political rally.  I have
more contact with our maid than I do with my parents.  I just came from a
rally, led by my father no less, to run the fags out of St. Claire and
about a month ago, I had sex with an auto mechanic named Jarrod.  He fucked
me hard and then got up and left me laying there stunned at what had
happened.  I spent the next week in a depression in which I threw up on a
daily basis not because I was sad it happened, but because I wanted to do
it again and I felt ashamed.  Now I am sitting here telling you about my
sucky life, hoping that you aren't a fag basher either who is going to beat
the shit out of me and leave me here in the park to die.  How does that
sound?"  Nick chuckled nervously and glanced over at Jeff who was staring
out the windshield of the truck with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging
open.  Nick somehow knew that Jeff's reaction wouldn't be a harsh one, how
he knew that he was unsure, but it was just something that he felt.

	"Gee, that does kind of suck.  So tell me what you really think."
Jeff laughed.  "I guess that I should come clean with you as well.  When I
said that I got in trouble in Atlanta.  Well, basically what happened was
that there was this festival going on and I was at a gay bar and someone
took a picture of me.  Harmless you say, until you buy a newspaper and your
picture is plastered on the front of it with this big caption that reads
GAY PRIDE FESTIVAL IN FULL SWING DOWNTOWN.  I nearly passed out and died.
Needless to say, everyone in St. Claire, including my folks saw my picture,
read the article and freaked out.  My Mom and Dad made me come home because
Atlanta was teaching me immoral behavior.  They have treated me like some
sort of sub-human slime ever since."  Jeff took a large drink of bourbon
and chuckled to himself.  Nick just looked at Jeff thinking how awful that
must be for him.

	"So like everyone in St. Claire saw and read about you?  Damn.
That really sucks.  You win the blue ribbon, that sucks much worse than
me."  Both Nick and Jeff laughed.  They became quiet and listened to the
sounds of the night for a few minutes until the Jeff broke spoke.

	"So, since we are drunk and here, you wanna fuck?"  Nick nearly
fell out of the truck.  He had been thinking similar things about Jeff; he
just didn't have the courage to say it.

	"Dude, I don't think fucking here is a good idea.  I got caught
here once before, so we had better go somewhere else."  Nick was very
turned on and he knew that the only way to make himself happy at this
moment was to have sex with another guy, that guy being Jeff.

	"You got any suggestions then?"  Jeff looked at Nick with a smile.
Jeff was tall and thin.  He had light hair and brown eyes.  His goatee
framed his smile perfectly and his silver wire framed glasses seemed to
make his eyes glow with an almost evil spark.

	If Nick had known what was in for him, he would definitely have
been more discrete and thought about his suggestion a little more.  But he
had a statement to make, granted the statement was being heavily influenced
by horniness and alcohol, but a statement nonetheless.  He could take Jeff
to his home, and if everyone in town knew about his reputation, Jeff would
make the statement to his parents and he wouldn't have to.  It was a
chicken shit way out, but Nick was not proud.  Besides, that is what his
family deserved for being such uptight hypocrites.  They live to impress
others and their self worth was based on what everyone else thinks, not
their own convictions, and for that they should suffer.  For reasons
unknown, Nick wanted his family to know about him, so that they could
suffer the same pain that he was.  Nick said with an heir of vengeance in
his voice, "lets go to my house.  No one will catch us there.  They won't
even know that you are there."

	"You sure?  I mean if your parents find you and me together, that
wouldn't be too good, you know?"  Jeff warned.

	"You worry too much.  You want to or not?"  The alcohol had made
Nick much more forward than normal and he was very bitter towards his
family and their rigid social values.  At that moment, he almost wished
that they would get caught.

	"All right, if you say so."  Jeff started the truck and they headed
into town.  Nick lived in a big southern home that was in one of the oldest
subdivisions in St. Claire.  His house was surrounded by large trees and it
was on a dead in street with the Kenton River running through the back
yard.  Jeff parked on the other side of the street and both of them walked
around to the back door of the house.  There were no lights on so Nick
quietly unlocked the door and came in.  They tiptoed through the kitchen
and up the back stairs.  As they walked in the darkness down the hall, Nick
saw that Jonathon's door was open.  As they crept past, Nick could see that
he had fallen asleep with the TV on.  They went into Nick's room, which was
at the end of the hall and closed the door behind them.

	Nick was starting to get nervous.  Things had become awkward, but
eventually each got undressed.  Jeff started to kiss Nick both passionately
yet aggressively.  He kissed Nick's neck to the point that he thought Nick
was going to explode.  The two went at each other as though they were
crazed animals.  They rolled around on the bed, totally entwined with one
another's sexuality.  Nick knew that he wanted Jeff and to his surprise,
Jeff pulled a condom out of his blue jeans and slid it down over his tool.
Nick watched and his mouth began to water as he remembered the sensations
that Jarrod had given him.  Jeff had taken him beyond anything Jarrod had
done for him.  Almost instinctively, Nick took position over Jeff and with
the help some spit, he ever so slowly lowered himself onto Jeff.  The
sensations raced through Nick's body violently, causing his head to spin.
Nick started to slowly rotate his hips, obviously to Jeff's liking.  There
was a small nightlight glowing by the bed that illuminated Jeff's face.  He
was truly a beauty man.  The dim light shadowed parts of his face and Nick
watched as signs of pleasure appeared across his face.  The mirror on the
head of the bed gave Nick an excellent view of his own crotch and Jeff's
chest that glimmered in the dim light of the bedroom.  Jeff's eyes were
dark and lustful as he ran his hands across Nick's chest.  Nick arched his
back and looked at the ceiling, he had never thought that sex with a man
could be this fulfilling and passionate after Jarrod.  Nick's breaths were
deep and he closed his eyes to savor the moment.  The sensations that his
body was filled with at that moment were inescapable.  He was completely
lost in this act of love with Jeff.  Jeff moaned and rotated his hips in
rhythm with Nick's movements.  Jeff pulled Nick down to his face and gave
him a passionate kiss, then started lick his neck and chest.  Nick gasped
at the combination of the two sensations; they felt so good that it hurt.
The muggy southern breeze rushed through the open window and the sash and
curtains danced happily around the window.  Nick saw the sweat beads form
on Jeff's chest and saw the edges of his short brown hair around his
forehead turning darker as the sweat pouring from his brow dampened them.
Nick never wanted this night to end and he never wanted Jeff to stop giving
him such pleasure.

The boys were lost in ecstasy, so much so that neither heard the bedroom
door open but they heard the gasp that ensued.  Immediately they both
focused on the door, unable to do anything but stare in fear at the figure
that hovered in the darkness just outside the doorway.  Nick was scared
beyond belief as his heart started to pound in his ears.  He expected
shouting to start at any moment.  Suddenly, Nick felt as though his
decision to bring Jeff here was made in haste and was most likely a
mistake.

	"Hey man, I am so sorry.  I had no idea you were...umm, busy."  The
voice belonged to Jonathon, who was obviously stunned at the sight of his
brother intertwined with another man.  With that, Jonathon closed the door.
Nick and Jeff looked at one another, both their eyes wide with fear.

	"Is he gonna tell?"  Jeff asked in a panicked voice.

	"No, he is cool like that, I think.  I mean this is the first time
I have ever been caught having sex with a guy by my brother."  Nick laughed
nervously.  The two sat motionless for a moment.  Before long, they
regained their momentum and were back into their lustful trance.  Jonathon
soon left their minds as the night continued in full force, filled with
intense emotions and more intense sensations.  Both boys explored the
erotic crevice of each other's bodies.  Neither had ever experienced such
passion and were unaware that such pleasure lurked in the world.

	The next morning when Nick and Jeff awoke, Nick sneaked Jeff into
the bathroom were they enjoyed one final sexual romp.  After that, Nick
sneaked Jeff down the stairs and out the back door. He winked at Jeff and
said. "I'll call you on your cell later."

"Cool, later man."  Jeff bounded across the front lawn, dodging shrubs and
Magnolia trees, hopped into his truck and took off.

	Nick was in a zone.  The night with Jeff had been wonderful, much
better than his first experience.  He kept replaying it over and over in
his mind.  He heart jumped every time he thought of Jeff, he could hardly
wait to see him again. Nick sat down on the porch swing and looked out
across the yard at the river.  The grass and trees were green and the sun
was shining bright.  There was a nice breeze and he could hear the birds
chirping in the large trees that lined the river.  There were cows grazing
in a pasture across the river, while others were dozing in the shade.  Nick
was so absorbed in his thoughts that he did not see Jonathon walk around
the house.  "Hey there lover boy.  What are you doing with that big smile
on your face?  You get lucky last night or something?"  Jonathon laughed as
he plopped down beside his brother.

	"Screw you Jonathon.  Don't you ever knock?"  Nick teased.

	"Well I didn't figure that you were gonna be doing somebody, much
less a man.  I nearly fell down.  I had no idea.  If you are worried about
someone knowing, don't.  I had no idea.  You could have knocked me over
with a feather."  Jonathon laughed.

"So you aren't grossed out or anything?"

"Nah, My roommate at school is gay.  Hell I think that half the people in
Florida are gay.  I never pay any attention to that anymore.  That is cool
with me.  I have walked in on him hundreds of times.  It is like second
nature to see two men fucking now.  Well you know what I mean."  Jonathon
explained.

	"Please don't tell anybody, you Mom and Dad would murder me if they
found out."

	"That's true.  They are a bit conservative."  Jonathon laughed.
"Get real!  Like I am going to tell them, hey mom and dad...I saw Nick
boffing Jeff Bouveir.  Yeah, sure, I see that happening."  Jonathon laughed
and shook his head.

Nick told Jonathon all about the recent events and it made him feel good to
get it off his chest and the fact that Jonathon wasn't really grossed out
made it that much easier.

Nick went through the formalities of the day and suffered through a boring
banquet put on by his mother.  Then he went with his brother for some
Catholic youth rally, whatever that was supposed to be.  He finally arrived
home around 12 a.m. to find his parents and everyone else asleep.  He
called and invited him over again.  Jeff, who had been waiting for the
call, was there inside of ten minutes.  Nick was standing in the driveway
when Jeff pulled up.  Jeff climbed out of the truck and walked around to
where Nick was standing.  There were no formal plans made but both knew
what they wanted.  In fact, they wanted it so bad that they started kissing
in the driveway.  Nick fell against the truck under Jeff's electric kiss.
They kissed for some time, letting their hands explore one another's
bodies.  Finally, finding it hard to control themselves, the boys sought
privacy in the front seat of Jeff's truck.  The boys started to disrobe one
another almost violently, grinding their midsections together, still
kissing lustfully.  Nick's shirt got ripped during their quest for bodily
pleasure.  Nick was lying on his back with Jeff on top of him; both had
shed their shirts and shoes.  They were rapidly headed to another lever
when the worse thing in the world happened.  "What in the name of God is
going on here!?"  They both jumped and looked around only to see Nick's
father peering in the truck window at them.  Fear overtook both boys so
much so that their paleness seemingly made them glow.  Nick's father opened
the truck door and when the dome light came on, there were the two
defenseless boys, with out shirts and shoes, pants unzipped intertwined in
a loving embrace.  There was no excuse to use, their positions and their
looks told the entire study.  They were caught.

	Nick's father flew into a rage.  He grabbed both boys by the arms
and drug them out of the truck, screaming at the top of his lungs all the
while.  Soon the rest of the house was awakened as well by the commotion.
There, in the driveway of the house under the trees that lined the fence,
both boys stood simply horrified.  Standing there half dressed, Nick saw
his mother and sisters coming out the back door, followed by Jonathon.
Nick heard his father yelling for someone to call Jeff's dad and mom and
for them to get over here now.  It was painfully obvious to the entire
family what they had been caught doing.  Nick's mother started to cry,
while his younger sisters had a shameful, disgusting look upon their faces.
Nick's father was hysterical, ranting on about his election for mayor and
how no one would elect him if he had a fag for a son.  Nick was crushed.
Not only had he been humiliated in front of his entire family, but his
father was most worried about his reputation and reelection.  Jeff was
ashamed and embarrassed beyond belief as well.  Nick started to cry,
sobbing uncontrollably.  He looked through his tears to see Jonathon with
tears streaming down his face as well, standing behind their father.  His
father began to further insult him for crying, saying that crying was only
proof of his perverted weakness.  Suddenly everyone was covered in the
headlights of an approaching car.  It was Jeff's parents.  Nick saw Jeff
nearly fall to the ground as the Bouveir's climbed out of their Lincoln in
their housecoats.  It soon became clear to them as well to what had
happened.  Jeff's mother started to cry and his father started to yell as
well.  Both boys stood there, as though in front of a verbal firing squad,
taking insult after insult.  Could this possibly get any worse Nick asked
himself?

The night proceeded with lectures and eruptions of anger. Over and over the
boys were told how disgusting, immoral and unnatural they were.  No one
even bothered to ask them why, or what they felt.  They scolded them,
belittled them, and insulted them.  The only thing that Nick and Jeff could
do was cry.

The final blow was thrown as Nick's father told him to pack his things and
get out.  He said that he could not handle such filth living under his roof
or being affiliated with him in any way.  Jeff's father chimed in saying
that Jeff could accompany him.  The two were in shock, listening in
disbelief as they were ejected from the families that once loved them so.
Nick slowly walked toward the house and started up the stairs.  His feet
were so heavy that he could barely pick then up.  Nick heard Jeff's parents
car pulling from the driveway, followed by Jeff's truck.  What dismal night
this had turned out to be.

Almost zombie like, Nick started to gather things up in his room.  Jonathon
came into the room and hugged him.  He tried to talk with Nick, but Nick
was speechless and in shock from the events that had proceeded.  "I am here
for you Nick.  You just let me know if you need anything.  Don't try to go
through this alone.  It will kill you."  Nick looked at his brother who was
distressed and crying as well.

"Thanks Jonathon.  I guess I really fucked things up good didn't I?  Guess
you don't have to worry about your little secret now.  They will talk about
this for a long time to come."  Nick wiped the tears from his face and
forced a smile at Jonathon.  Nick took some comfort in Jonathon's words.
The two said their goodbyes and Nick started down the stairs to go.  His
mother and father stopped him as he was going out the front door.  His
father handed him a check for 5,000 dollars.  Nick looked confused as to
the purpose of this gesture.

	"Get yourself some therapy and change, then you can come back.  I
can't believe that your mother and I gave everything we have to you and
this is how you repay us.  If you don't change this nasty behavior, there
is no place in our family for you.  Consider this money my goodbye gift, as
I have lost a son this day."  Nick's head started to spin as the words hit
him like rock.  He turned and walked across the porch and down the stairs.
He heard the door slam behind him but he did not turn to look.  He was
totally numb.  He did not know how to react or what to say.  He had cried
until he was unable to cry anymore.  He climbed into his truck and sat
there for a moment.  Suddenly he thought about Jeff and wondered what was
going on with him.  This being the second time that he was caught, he may
not be so lucky.  Nick decided to drive by his house and see.  As he neared
the house, the sight he witnessed was more horrifying than he'd suspected.
Jeff was crouched in his front yard as his father flung his belongings
across the front lawn.  Nick looked around and saw that all of the
neighbors standing on their porches watching the entire scene unfold.  Nick
was flushed with anger.  How could people be so cruel, how could they let a
fellow human be humiliated in such a way and not offer assistance.

	Nick pulled his truck up onto the curb in front of Jeff's house.
Jeff was sitting in the grass, weeping.  As Nick walked to him, Jeff looked
up into his face.  Jeff's eye was black.  His shirt was torn.  "C'mon man,
let's get your things.  You can come with me.  Things will be fine."  Nick
started to pick up Jeff's things and put them into the truck.  As he
finished, Nick could see that Jeff was still crouched on his knees in the
yard.  Nick walked over and put his arm around him and helped him to his
feet.  As they turned, Nick heard Jeff's father yell that the two fags
should get out of his yard.  "What a horrid man."  Nick though as he helped
Jeff into the truck.  Nick fastened the seatbelt around Jeff and he looked
back towards Jeff's house.  Nick started the truck and drove through the
flower garden in front of Jeff's house, spinning mud and mulch all across
the front of the house.  As all four tires hit the pavement, Nick squawked
the tires and they were soon out of sight.

	Neither said anything to one another for some time.  Nick and Jeff
wept as they passed the city limits of St. Claire on their drive north back
to Kentucky.  Neither of their lives would ever be the same again.


tbc.