Date: Thu, 7 May 2009 00:21:35 -0400
From: Ethan Y <mr_e08@hotmail.com>
Subject: Noah and Jordan Chapter 7

The following story is a work of fiction - and does not represent any
living person. The story will in the future contain sex between two adult
consenting men. If you are a minor, or it is illegal in your area to read
the following story, please leave now. The author retains all rights to the
story. Please do not reproduce without prior consent.

---

I know the ending of the last chapter was a bit mean, but as I wrote in
chapter 6, Jordan likes to tease Noah, and that was me teasing you guys a
bit. Again thanks for all the comments, I really do appreciate it. Like
always you can reach me at mr_e08@hotmail.com. The one thing I can never
come up with is a title. As you can tell "Noah and Jordan" is kind of
bland. Any suggestions? Also, please excuse any spelling or grammatical
errors.

Ok - so some bad news. I have a major obligation at the beginning of June
which will take up a lot of my time in May. So there may not be another
chapter until mid-June. Sorry. I will try to make 8 extra special because
of the long wait.

So I hope you enjoy Chapter 7.

Ethan.

---

*Please note time changes at the top of each section.

*** NOAH ***

--- 1 p.m., Wednesday September 29th, University Campus ---

Without looking at a calendar it is obvious what time of year it is. The
end of September. It's a great time of year. The weather is perfect,
roughly in the mid-teens. It's not too chilly and not too warm. The leaves
are changing colours; a mosaic of red, orange and brown. Slowly they're
letting go of the branches, free-falling to the ground. After months of
attachment they must now let go. They drift in the wind, withering away,
their beauty fading. Change is in the air. But change is difficult; we
vehemently fight it and embrace nostalgia. Yet it seems only natural. As
the weather cools the trees start to bud. Slowly from bare, brawny branches
they flourish into lush enclaves. As the process comes to an end the leaves
depart their home, their root of security, and fall. The cycle is
complete. What once was remains no more. With time the landscape has
changed - and so too shall we.

Each step I take feels heavier than the one before. Even though I know
where I am going in terms of my destination, internally I have no idea
where I am heading. You can only escape life for so long before it catches
up to you. After years of running mine finally has. But not only has it
caught up, it has come crashing down on me. The weight of it too heavy for
me to bare. To say the last hour of my life was interesting would not be
describing it justly. It's given me a lot to think about ...

--- 12 noon, same day, 8th Floor, University Library ---

"Hey."

I almost jump out of my seat. I know that voice. This time I have no where
to run - I'm trapped. I slowly turn my head around. Perhaps I am crazy and
just hearing voices in my head.

No - I'm not crazy. He's right before me beaming with confidence. Standing
there erect and tall before me, wearing dark faded jeans, a snug t-shirt
which shows off his defined muscles, his bag flung over his left shoulder,
sunglasses perched on his slick hair, and a smile that showcases teeth that
seem too white to be real. Honestly he looks like he just walked straight
out of a magazine.

"Hi ... Sebastian."

Where the hell did he come from? I had picked a spot with no one around
me. This side of the library is always empty - always. It's the perfect
spot to be alone and get some work done. And now here I was alone with
him. I wonder how many times I will make an ass of myself this time.

"Do you mind if I sit down?"

YES, YES, YES!! I think internally.

"No of course not."

How could anyone say no to that soft, deep voice coupled with his eyes
staring right into you. No! Don't sit beside me! Damn it. I try to nudge my
seat back but it's no use. The legs barely move on the carpet. Stupid cheap
chairs and cheap carpet.

"So did you enjoy the game last night?"

"Yeah, yeah .... ah, it was great. Sorry you lost though."

"Nah it happens. We just need more practice. So how come you didn't come
with Jordan for some drinks after?"  His voice is so seductive. Shit - get
your head together man!

"I ... I had to, uh, work for school." Wow now I can't even put together a
simple sentence!

"Oh that's a shame. We were all hoping to see you," he says.

I've realised looking right at him doesn't work. I lower my head down and
place my hand on the book in front of me on the table.

"Oh, well the team doesn't really know me ... so I didn't want to intrude
... "

I barely get the last word out. Okay, my heart is going to stop. Maybe it
already has. It's really hot in here all of a sudden. I'm sweating more
than I ever have. My breadth quickens. My chest is heaving. The world seems
to stop as he puts his hand on top of mine and his leg brushes against my
knee. He leans in closer to me and just inches from my ear he whispers, "I
was hoping you would have come ... "

Oh crap.

I can feel his face next to mine, his eyes looking into my soul. It's like
he is peering inside of me, discovering my deepest and darkest secrets. I
can't look at him. I keep my head lowered, eyes shut. The only sound in the
room is of me breathing, not in any rhythm, but staggered long breaths. Is
he saying ... ? No he can't ... this makes no sense!

Okay, just relax. He probably just meant that in a platonic way. He must
have. That makes sense. I need to regain my composure. I lift my head up
and move my hand away from his. "Nah, trust me I'm no life of the
party. You didn't miss much." There is no need to get all worked up
here. I'm over reacting. But why is my heart racing away?

He just sits there for a few seconds, the whole time his gaze locked on
me. I try to pretend I'm busy by shuffling some papers around. There is an
eerie, awkward silence in the room. With each second that passes it seems
as if someone is sucking the oxygen out of the room. I can't bare it. Say
something damn it!

Finally after what seems like minutes he leans back into his chair and
lowers his eyes. "Noah, you know what I meant. You know how I feel about
you. The only question is how you feel about me ... "

He says it in such a way it makes my heart melt. Even I'm not that
naïve. He's not looking for a platonic relationship. But what do I say? I
can't think! Breathe dude, breathe. I'm surprised, dumbfounded really, and
flattered ... really flattered. Come on any girl would love to be with him
and here he is picking me. But shit no, I can't .. I'm not ... argh, what's
wrong with me!

I need to say something. "Sebastian .... "

"Hey No...ah ... "

Oh thank god. I love Jenn. I really, really LOVE Jenn. I feel like leaping
out of my chair and singing 'Hallelujah' at the top of my lungs, but that
might be a bit too dramatic.

"Hey Jenn," My voice is a little shaky. I'm not sure how much she heard of
our conversation but I don't think she heard anything.

I notice her looking at Sebastian sitting on the seat next to me. She tilts
her head to the side and gives me a look indicating she wants to know who
he is.

"Uh, sorry where are my manners? Um, this is, ah .... Sebastian," I say to
her. Shit I need to calm down. Turning to him I say, "and this is my friend
Jennifer."

"It's nice to meet you," he says giving her a smile.

He can really charm anyone. I've never seen Jenn blush like that.

"Nice to meet you as well," she says sitting down across from us.

"Anyways Noah, I have to get to class so I will let you two be," he says
getting up from his chair. "I just wanted to let you know some of us guys
are throwing Jordan a birthday party. It's on Saturday at my place. Let me
know if you can come ... here ..." he grabs a paper and pen from his bag
and jots down a number and slides it across the table. "That's my
number. If you don't mind just calling me and letting me know what your
plan is ... that would be great."

"Sure" I say to him. I eagerly want him to go away now, before Jenn
suspects anything. He starts to turn away ... okay he's almost gone
... thank god. No! Don't stop. Don't turn around. Crap, he's back. I'm not
sure my heart can take this assault any longer.

"Oh and Noah, Jordan doesn't know about the party. So if you can keep
everything a secret that would be great."  He puts a lot of emphasis on the
word 'everything'. I figure he isn't talking about the party but about what
he said earlier. I give him a nod. Trust me buddy I am not saying a word to
Jordan or anyone else - ever.

"Of course," I say.

"Okay, take care. If you could let me know by tonight about Saturday that
would be great."

And with that he's gone in an instant, disappearing in a flash just like he
had appeared. My heart is still beating harder than I can ever
remember. Okay, just try to relax, you don't want Jenn asking questions. I
turn back around to Jenn who has this mischievous smile on her face. This
can't be good.

"So, how's your day going?" I ask her trying to change the subject.

"What's your secret?" she asks.

"I don't follow you."

"Do you have some magnet on you that attracts drop dead gorgeous guys?"

"Hunh?" What was she talking about?

"Noah - holy shit - that guy was hot. No, not hot - like crazy sexy. Where
do you keep meeting these guys - and wherever it is - you have to take me
with you."

Oh thank god, she doesn't suspect anything. "I don't have any magnet. He's
on the volleyball team with Jordan. I met him last night when I went to the
game with Jordan." Ah crap. That was way too much information. I can see a
smile spreading across Jenn's face. Not the good happy smile - but the
evil, sinister one.

"You went out with Jordan last night?"

"I did not go out with him. He asked me to come to his volleyball game and
I did. He couldn't play because of his foot so I gave him company in the
stands. No big deal."

"Ahh ... you seem to be giving him an awful lot of company. My little Noah
is growing up and making friends."

Okay this topic really needs to end now before I say something dumb. "We
have a lot of work to do and we're already behind because you're late. So
how about we get to it?"

"Work can wait. So are you going to the party then?"

"Jenn, come on lets get something done at least." I really don't want to
talk about anything right now. I actually just want to leave and go
somewhere far, far away. But Jenn might suspect something is wrong, so here
I am, stuck.

"You're not going are you?" She asks.

"I don't know." I really don't. Was there even a party or was Sebastian
just making a cover story for being here? Even if there is a party I don't
think I should go. I can't be around Sebastian with other people. What if I
say something or do something? I need to stay away from him - far away.

"Well you should go and take me with you. I wouldn't mind meeting that guy
again."

Now I can't help but smile. Oh she could meet him all she'd like, but it
won't do her any good. If only she knew she had little chances - or
actually no chances - with Sebastian. I would never have guessed he's
gay. College jock, well built, as masculine as they get, team captain, and
friends with everyone. You always have this mental image of gay guys being
more feminine - into fashion and all well dressed - not to say Sebastian
wasn't well dressed. But he was just your ordinary, average guy. I would
have never guessed. That's why none of this makes any sense!

"I probably won't go. I have a lot of work to do Jenn. Exams are just
around the corner and ... "

"Noah cage that inner nerd inside of you for one night and just have some
fun. School can wait. How many parties have you been to this semester?"

"None ... "

"Exactly, man live a little."

"Jennifer ... "

"Don't think by using my full name I am going to take you more
seriously. Yoink ... "

"Jenn no!"

I was too late. She had grabbed my phone and the paper sitting beside it.

"I'm warning you ... give it back." I say. But I'm too late. She's one of
those speed texters.

"Fine. Here," she says sliding the paper and phone back to me.

I quickly pick up my phone and look at the sent messages: "Im in Noah."
Sent to Sebastian's cell phone.

"You'll thank me later for this," she says.

I have a feeling that's not going to be the case.

*** JORDAN ***

--- Morning, same day, dorm room ---

I sound like such a nerd. If I told anyone this they probably would never
believe it was coming from me. I would get the cliché remark: "Who are you
and what have you done with Jordan?" But I don't know what to say. I am
actually looking forward to my English class today. I know, weird isn't it?
I've never hated school but I'm not one to look forward to a class
either. But when I woke up today I was happy it was Wednesday. I swear
those pain killers I took for my foot are still messing with my head.

Usually when our team loses I am in a sour mood the next day. Actually not
playing was somewhat of a good thing.  For one, I got to observe the game
and notice where we can improve. And second, I had a great time watching
with Noah. I was a bit disappointed he didn't come to the bar after. Oddly
enough I wasn't the only one. Sebastian seemed a little gloomy when I told
him. Anyways, it was nice to reconnect with the team again. I've missed a
few practices and so was starting to get out of the loop.

When I woke up today I had a mission. A pretty ambitious one - to clean up
my room. I haven't cleaned my room in a week. It looks like a tornado swept
through here. But not even 5 minutes in and I want to give up. Solace comes
when the phone rings.

"Hey John!" I am actually really happy and a bit surprised he called.

"Hi Jordan."

"How are you man? It's been a while. What's up?"

"Nothing much just checking in with you to see how you are," he says.

"I'm doing good man, doing good. Hey are you free right now? Wanna grab
some breakfast?" Anything to get away from cleaning up this room. Anything.

"Sure man."

"Okay how about the campus coffee shop in 5 minutes?"

"Alright see you then."

---

I can finally say I am starting to get used to these crutches. Well, it
only took me two weeks! I'm actually glad John called. Since our fallout we
haven't really talked much. To think back our fight was pretty stupid and I
want to make amends with him. I just hope he isn't still angry. He's one to
hold grudges. I guess the only good thing out of all of this is I've gotten
to know Noah better. I really enjoyed his presence at the game yesterday
and generally overall. I can't believe he actually went out and bought a
shirt for the game. What a guy. Behind that nerd like exterior of his he
actually is a fun guy. He just needs to loosen up a bit.

After a couple of more hops I am finally at the coffee shop. It still takes
me double the time to get anywhere I need to be. I order some coffee and
sit down. John arrives shortly after.

"Hey Jordan. How's your foot?"

"Can't complain. I have an appointment with my doctor next week so we'll
see what happens."

"I'm sure it will be fine," he says.

"So what have you and Eli been up to?"

"Same old, same old. School's getting a bit busier now so we're not as
crazy as before."

"I'm not sure I believe that."

"Ok fine, I'm a little less crazy - Eli is still Eli, what can I say."

For the next little while we just talk like nothing has ever come between
us. I guess John isn't angry anymore.

"Listen, I'm sorry about everything that happened before ... " I start to
say.

"Dude, whatever. It's in the past and I don't care anymore."

"But still I guess I owe you an apology ... "

"You don't. Stop being a drama queen. Look to prove everything is fine -
let's go out on Saturday night."

"What do you have in mind?" I ask.

"I don't know yet but something. It's been a while since we all went
out. So make sure you keep it free."

"Alright, sounds good - but nothing crazy yet - I still have this foot to
look after."

"Damn, I was thinking of skydiving. That changes everything. Come on give
me some credit! Obviously dude I know. Don't worry you'll be fine. Anyways
I will call you sometime this week to let you know what the plan is. For
now I have to get to class. I'll see you later."

"Alright, take care man."

That's good. Saturday night just like old times.

I sit around the coffee shop for a while. I don't want to get up and return
to the horrors of my room. I don't have English class with Noah until 2 so
I have time. Oh shit Noah! I forgot to ask him for his English notes from
last week. I wasn't really paying attention in class seeing how I had much,
much more important things to do - bug him. I should call him and remind
him.

"Hey Noah,"

"Hey Jordan. What's up?"

"I just wanted to remind you to bring your English notes to class from last
week."

As I say this I notice Sebastian enter into the coffee shop. I wave him
over and he comes and sits down. I signal with my hand I will only be a
moment.

"Oh man, Jordan I forgot them at home. I'm on my way to the library right
now so I will have to get them for you later."

"Man you're such a nerd - you're going to the library right now!" I say.

"Nerds are cool. I know you're jealous."

"Yeah buddy, really jealous."

"Anyways, yeah I'm meeting Jenn there to get some work done. It's not too
busy right now, especially on the top floors, so it's easy to get work
done."

"Yeah I usually go to like the 8th or 9th floor, the area is never
busy. Alright man, I won't interrupt your precious studying time. But next
time remember to bring them."

"I will. Oh and Jordan in class today you better pay attention! What do I
look like some sort of personal note writing down .... taker .... person?"

"Haha, no I can honestly say I don't think you're a note writing down taker
person, whatever that is."

"Man shut up you know what I meant. And stop with all the jokes or the prof
is going to kick us both out."

"I can't promise anything. Especially if you're going to continue speaking
nonsensical English."

"I'll see you in English class."

"Alright man, I'll see you later," I say shutting the phone.

"Hey sorry," I say to Sebastian.

"No problem. Who were you talking to?"

"Oh it was just Noah"

"Ah your clumsy friend."

"Yeah he's a ... he's Noah, what can I say."

"I've never noticed him around your group of friends before. Usually your
entourage is just the other two guys uh ... "

"John and Eli. Yeah, I just met Noah like two weeks ago. He's just my
English partner for a presentation."

"Cool. Alright, sorry dude, I can't stick around. I just needed to get some
coffee."

"Okay, I'll see you around."

"Later dude."

With that he was off, leaving me alone once again. Damn it! I guess this
means I have to go back and clean up my room. Yippee ...

*** NOAH ***

--- 1 PM, same day, small park located just off campus ---

Life's funny. Cruel sometimes. There had been a time in my life when I had
fought hard to change things. To avoid the reality around me. I had tried
so hard. At least for a while I think I succeeded. But here I am three
years later in a similar, yet different situation. I left everything behind
when I came here, thinking this would be a fresh start. I made new friends,
got a girlfriend and yet all of that seems irrelevant to what's going on
now. I know I can't run anymore. I need to face the present and address the
past ...

--- 3 years earlier, local secondary school ---

It was my final year of high school and I couldn't have been happier. Being
a nerd isn't really the most popular route to take. Not to say I was picked
on or tormented - I wasn't - but I didn't have many friends either. I was
finally glad it would all be ending. I would be off to a local university
next year, staying close to my family. But everything changed.

I don't remember when it happened exactly but my best guess is during first
semester. I really started noticing a guy in one of my classes, Aaron. I
had never really been attracted to a guy before but all of a sudden I
couldn't get him out of my head. I was thinking about him during school,
staring at him during class and dreaming about him at night. I didn't know
Aaron very well. We had spoken only a few times. What I did know was that
he had a girlfriend. That didn't really change anything. I wasn't planning
on doing anything. I was scared. I had no idea what was going on. My
curiosity started getting the better of me and soon I was searching gay
porn sites. As the days passed I became more confused. I found the images
arousing. In the meantime my nights were restless with thoughts of Aaron.

As the month progressed I started to doubt my sexuality. I was not okay
with being labelled gay and kept thinking this was just a phase. What made
me really confused was that I still liked girls. I made a resolution to
stay away from Aaron and focus as much as I could on school work. For the
most part it worked. The semester ended and there were only a few months
left in school. But everything changed on a cold March day ...

I was sitting in the library doing some work when I noticed Aaron and some
of his friends come sit down at a table beside me. Even though I had made a
resolution not to stare at Aaron I couldn't help myself. It had been so
long since I'd seen him and he looked exceptionally hot today. Every so
often I would glance up from reading, staring at Aaron for just a short
while. I could hear him laugh with his friends and it drove me crazy. I
thought about getting up and leaving and when I look back I realize I
should have - because the situation started to spiral out of control.

I wouldn't say the area I was from was homophobic - but it wasn't the most
accepting either. I was looking up at Aaron when I caught the eye of one of
his friends - who I later learned was named Damien. He just looked at me
funny as I quickly lowered my gaze. I decided it was best I leave so I
gathered my stuff and quickly hurried out.

As I made my way through the door Aaron's friend caught up to me. He
grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around.

"I don't know what you think you were doing, you little fag, but keep yours
eyes to yourself. Your kind aren't welcome here."

I brushed off his hand and angrily responded. "I don't know what the hell
you're talking about. I'm not a fag."

"I saw you staring at Aaron - more like ogling him. I could have outed you
back there, so count yourself lucky. You know what we do with fags like you
here, don't you?"

"Fuck off," I said turning around and quickly walking away.

The next day I dreaded going to school. I wasn't sure if Aaron's friend had
said anything to anyone. I'm not sure if I was just being paranoid but I
felt like everyone was shooting me glances. During lunch time I saw Aaron
enter the cafeteria. He just looked at me. I didn't know what to make of
it. I wasn't sure what his friend had told him. Over the next few days
paranoia started to set it. I was convinced people were talking about me
behind my back. I saw Aaron a few more times - the school wasn't that big -
and I was sure he was giving me dirty looks.

If people knew or didn't I wasn't really sure. All of the drama though made
me resolute I couldn't be gay. I knew I liked girls as well - I had dated a
few - and just pushed it out as a phase. Even though I had started to
notice more and more men I ignored it as best I could. I realized I could
never really get away from everything - many of the same people would be
joining me at the local university. I had to work hard to convince my
parents to let me go farther away. They were surprised and
disappointed. But I knew I couldn't stay if I wanted a fresh start. So
after graduation I left the school never looking back.

*** JORDAN ***

--- 2 PM, Wednesday September 29th, English Class ---

Wow this has never happened before. I'm the first person to arrive at my
English class. I knew it wouldn't take me 30 minutes to walk here but I
wanted to give myself extra time because of my foot. Okay fine. I didn't
want to clean my room so I left early. I hope someone else comes soon. It's
so weird being here all by myself.

Slowly the room starts to fill in. I keep looking at the door expecting
Noah to walk in, but he doesn't. It's strange because usually he is here
before me. I glance at the clock - just 30 seconds to go - but still no
sign of him. Better hurry up there buddy. The prof walks over and closes
the door. "Okay everyone let's get started ..."

Throughout the lecture I keep looking at the door but there is no sign of
Noah. It's weird because he didn't say anything about missing class while
on the phone. Plus knowing Noah, even if only for a few weeks, you can tell
he is a bit of a nerd. Skipping classes really does not seem like what he
does. Perhaps something happened ...

What the? The person sitting next to me jabs me with his elbow. It seems
like the professor was speaking to me.

"Sorry sir?" I say.

"So last week you're chatting and laughing and this week daydreaming? Am I
that boring?"

"No, sorry sir."

Okay someone sure doesn't like me. Alright I have to pay attention. But
this isn't like Noah. I'll send him a text: "Where are you?"

Alright Jordan focus on the lecture. But I can't. Instead of looking at the
door now I keep looking at my phone, waiting for it to vibrate. But
nothing.

I'm half relieved when the professor finally lets us go. I'm not fully
relieved because I am a bit worried about Noah. I'm still really curious
what happened to him. He did say on the phone he would see me in
class. That was only a few hours ago. It's funny, I was actually looking
forward to English class today but like usual it turns out to be a dud.

English is my last class of the day so I decide to hop back home. There is
a direct route linking the buildings together but since the weather is nice
- and there will only be a few days like these left - I decide to walk
outside. I'll be so glad when this stupid brace comes off. I miss playing
volleyball. And I hadn't even gone swimming, to the gym, or to work in a
few weeks. I feel so lazy. I need to get back into the regular grind of
things.

Oh that reminds me! I should drop by work and figure out my schedule. Since
I have time I might as well do it now. I don't work too far off
campus. There is a shortcut if I go through this small park just located
off campus. It's a pretty small little dingy park with most people just
using it as a shortcut. I'm walking along when I notice a guy sitting on a
boulder, hunched over just staring off into a tree. That guy kind of looks
like Noah. Wait. Is that him? I move a little closer and ... it is
him. What's he doing here sitting on a rock? He looks so deep in
concentration, like his body is here but his mind is kilometres away.

"Noah," I call out to him.

No response. Weird. I hop a bit closer and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Noah"

Holy shit.

"Wow, calm down there man it's just me." I guess I scared him a bit. He
jumped off of the rock pretty quickly.

"Oh, sorry you scared me there." He says.

"Sorry man. Yeah you looked really deep in concentration."

"Yeah, yeah ... " he says looking off into the distance like he is trying
to remember what he was thinking about.

"Why didn't you come to class today?"

No response.

"Noah?"

"Yeah," he says looking at me.

"How come you weren't in class today?"

"Class? What are you talking about we still have time ... oh shit! It's
4:30 already!" He says looking at his watch.

"Yeah man. You missed class."

"Oh ... "

"Dude is everything okay?" He is acting really strange ... even for him.

"Yeah I'm fine ... "

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"If there is anything bothering you, you know you can tell me right?"

"I know. Don't worry I'm fine. Listen I have to go. I will catch up with
you later." He says.

"Are we still on for tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah man, tomorrow, to finalize our presentation topic."

"Yeah sure."

"Do you still want to meet at my dorm room?"

"No, um ... just come over to my place."

"Okay. Noah you sure there isn't anything I can help you with."

For the first time he actually smiles. "Yes I'm sure. Trust me I'm fine. I
will see you tomorrow okay? Bye."

"Bye."

I don't believe him. Something isn't right though I'm not sure what. I
would hope by now he could trust me. I had confided in him a couple of
times when he helped me out. I was hoping now I could return the favour to
him. But it seems whatever it is he doesn't want to talk about it. I guess
I just have to respect his decision and give him space. He really is an odd
guy.

*** NOAH ***

--- 8 p.m., same day, Noah's Apartment ---

Ah man it's been a long day. All I want to do now is eat something, take a
nice long hot shower and then go to bed. I can't believe I missed class. I
guess I was sitting on that rock for a lot longer than I thought. I throw
my bag on the couch and take out my phone from my pocket. I see one missed
text from Jordan: "Where are you?" I didn't even realize my phone was
vibrating the whole time.

I grab some clothes and enter into the shower. It feels so nice to have the
warm water run down my body. This was at least one sanctuary I had - the
shower - where no one could disturb me. It just left me a lot of time to
think.

I remember leaving my parents and moving to the big city. At first I was
scared to be on my own, but soon I realized I enjoyed being in a larger
urban setting. Being at a new school with no one I knew let me reinvent
myself. I also found at university people were a bit more mature and they
judge you a little less than in high school. It also helped I met and
became friends with Jenn basically right from the first day.

Forgetting about guys though proved to be much more difficult. The city
offered up a lot of eye candy. Soon after I realized if I dated someone
that might make life easier - and so I met Stacey. We'd been going out for
a few months when I realized the relationship wasn't going anywhere. It's
not that I didn't like Stacey - I did - I just found my heart wasn't in the
right place. But I kept holding on. I knew that if I let go of Stacey I
might have to admit to the fact that I liked guys too. And so I stuck to
her - clinging on to her as though my life depended on it. But finally in
my second year we broke things off. She just couldn't stand me any longer I
guess.

That shower did feel really nice. I am walking back to my room when I
notice my phone is flashing on the table. I pick it up - 1 missed
call. Sebastian. Shit! How did he get my number? Ah right, Jenn texted him
from my phone! Already I wasn't thanking her for anything. I notice I also
have one new voice message. I want to delete it but I guess I should at
least listen to it.

"Hey Noah, it's me Sebastian. I was hoping to talk to you. If you could
give me a call back that would be great. Don't worry how late it gets. I'm
waiting for your call. Bye."

I hit the delete button. I've been down this path before and it just isn't
the right one for me to take. I walk into my room and plop down onto my
bed. I am going to read for a little while then go to sleep. I've already
had my fair share of excitement for one day. I acted like such a weirdo in
front of Jordan. He probably thinks I have some screws loose in my head!
I'm glad I told him to come by my place tomorrow. I just want to avoid
campus for as long as I can.

I'm about to pick up my book when the phone rings. Even though I don't know
who it is my heart starts to beat faster. Great now I am afraid of getting
phone calls. Thanks Jenn. But it honestly doesn't matter who it is - even
if it is Jenn - I am in no mood to talk to anyone. I pick up the phone and
look at the caller ID. It's Sebastian. I put the phone down. But it
continues to ring ... and ring ... and ring. With each ring I start to
breathe harder. I know I shouldn't pick up the phone but I want to. I don't
know why but I do. No! Don't be dumb. This can't lead to anything good. But
how long can I run for? Can I avoid Sebastian forever? No. I am bound to
see him again at school. This has to end and it has to end tonight. I pick
up the phone.

"Hello." I say.

"Hey Noah! It's me, Sebastian. I'm glad I caught you."

"Hi Sebastian."

"I got your text message. I'm really glad you're going to come on
Saturday."

I want to tell him I didn't send it but Jenn did. But I don't. A part of me
does want to go that party - for Jordan's sake of course. That is if there
is a party.

"Yeah, I'm still thinking about it. I have another obligation but I will
try to get out of it." I want him to think I am busy so I have an excuse if
I say no in the end.

"Okay. You have my number. You can call me whenever you like." He puts a
lot of emphasis on 'whenever'. "Listen Noah, I wanted to talk to you about
earlier today. I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable situation, which
is what I thought I might have. But then I got your text and I thought
perhaps you had an answer for me ... "

It was time to nip this in the butt. Get it over with once and for all. I
just needed to be firm.

"Sebastian, I'm really flattered but I'm sorry I'm not into guys like
that." That sounded convincing enough. Good now I just need to stay strong.

"Noah," he starts saying in his slow, soft, seductive voice, "I've seen the
way you look at Jordan."

Fuck.

"I'm not sure what you mean?"

"Noah, I might come off as a dumb jock - believe me I've gotten that before
- but I have a brain and a set of eyes. I too was once in your
position. Afraid to embrace what I really felt inside. It's okay with me
whoever you choose to be with, but Noah - you must be true to yourself. And
as I said I've seen the way you look at him and the way you act around me."

Why did I pick up the phone? He has seen through me - past everything that
even I was trying to hide from myself.

"Sebastian, I ... ah ... I ... " I just couldn't find the words.

"Noah you don't have to say anything. I know this is not easy - trust me -
I know. I've been through this before."

"I'm just so surprised. I would have never guessed you were ah ... "

"Gay?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah not many people know. And I am hoping it will stay that way."

"I won't say anything."

"I knew I could trust you. I don't hide it - but I don't flaunt it
either. As I am sure you're aware being in sports and being gay isn't
easy. I love playing volleyball and I want to continue playing. If I was
outed it would make my life a lot more difficult."

"But don't people wonder why you don't date girls? I mean any guy - no
matter what his sexuality - can see you are really, really good looking."

"Thanks - I'm glad you think so. Yes it has been a challenge. I too dated
girls right off the start to hide my sexuality from myself. I thought if I
made it work with a girl than I would be okay. I think that's what you did
with Stacey."

"How do you know about Stacey?"

"Noah as I said, I'm not that dumb. We've actually had a class together
before."

"Really? When?"

"It was last year in Politics 201. Both you and Stacey were in it. Don't
worry there were over a thousand people in the class so you probably don't
remember me. But I remember you. That's when I first noticed you actually."

"Right I remember that class ... "

"It was actually in that class when I first started to like you. Even
though I didn't know you - I remember you speaking out in class. You were
always the smartest person. Adding a lot to the conversation and really
making me think. But I saw you were with Stacey so I didn't do anything
about it. But then as my luck would have it, just a few weeks ago I see you
at the park in the east end of the city."

"The volleyball game ... "

"Yeah. I don't think you realized I actually did notice you staring at
me. That's when I thought perhaps there was more to you than what met the
eye."

"You're really observant."

"Well these gorgeous eyes - as I am told - do serve a purpose besides
seducing people."

"So you know you do that with your eyes right? The way you look at people."

"Oh of course. I might as well use the looks I have while I have
them. Anyways, so it was just by luck really that you became friends with
Jordan. Finally I got to meet you for the first time. And the way you acted
around me - how shy you became and quiet - I thought perhaps there could be
something. So again when I saw you at the volleyball game with Jordan I
decided to talk to you. It was then that I was pretty sure - by the way you
interacted with Jordan and me that I might have a chance. Jordan's straight
so I know that won't work out. And so I followed up on it and laid
everything out in the open at the library. I'm hoping that perhaps it will
all have been worth it ... "

"Sebastian I am really flattered ... "

"You've said that already."

"Any girl would love to be with you ... "

"But I don't want to be with any girl. I want to be with you."

"But there is nothing special about me - nothing at all. I'm a nerd as you
say. I don't have a great body. I'm not that social or out going. I'm just
an ordinary guy."

"That's what you think. What I love about you is your mind. I like that
you're smart and not just some dumb guy. I love the way you look. Trust me
you are anything but ordinary to me. In my eyes you are hot."

"So what I say okay and then what? You find someone hotter, someone you
probably deserve to be with and that's it?"

"You really take me for some shallow, soulless, person don't you?"

"I didn't mean that."

"Well that's what you implied. Look Noah, I know this is scary. If I was
just looking for one quick fuck I wouldn't have talked to you. I want more
than that. I want a boyfriend - I want someone to be with. And you say you
don't deserve me - hell I think I don't deserve you - because I know you
and I know you are more than just sex. Most of the guys I've been with and
the girls before that - no one takes me seriously. They want me for my
looks and not my personality. Sometimes having good looks isn't all that
great. But you - you seem different. The way I see it - I might not deserve
to have you."

"You're making this so much harder!"

"I hope you mean down there."

I couldn't help but laugh. "No, that's not what I meant." I wasn't going to
tell him my dick was throbbing. I don't think I have ever been this hard
before. Hearing him talk about me and how he liked me really got me worked
up.

"Look, I'm not looking for an answer from you right now. Think about it. If
you ever want to talk to me about anything than just give me a
call. Whatever you say to me Noah - and I mean whatever - stays between the
two of us. I will never repeat a word you say to another soul. You can
trust me."

"Thank you."

"No problem. So will I see you on Saturday then?"

"Yeah ... I think so."

"Excellent. Now I have something to look forward to."

"Alright, I should get going."

"Okay. I'm glad you picked up the phone Noah. Remember you can call me
whenever you want."

"Thanks."

"Have a good night babe."

I couldn't help but blush at him calling me babe.

"Night."

Wow - that clearly did not go as planed. Oh Noah what have you gotten
yourself into!

---

Alright folks that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Remember
if you have any feedback, comments or questions I can be reached at
mr_e08@hotmail.com. Until next time. Ethan.