Date: Sun, 28 Jun 2009 18:58:28 -0500
From: maxborren@gmail.com
Subject: On Straight and Narrow - The Story of Max & Chris - # 3: The Haunted Past

Copyright 2009 by The Stories of Max Borren.  All rights reserved.

On Straight and Narrow - The Story of Max & Chris -- # 3: The Haunted Past

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:       EROTICA

I have to surrender at this point.  I have been struggling for 4 days of
which twice I was up for 48 hours straight and I still feel it's a giant
mess.  Even though it is still early, the next 3 to 4 installments/chapters
are absolutely vital to the story.  Much of it is erotic, much is also NOT
erotic, and there is still something that I don't even know if the reader
will be able to comprehend!  Damn I have to keep things true to these
characters or there simply isn't any point in telling this as far as I am
concerned.  To give you some understanding, what started out as an explosive
3rd installment of 25-35 pages, suddenly grew to an unwieldy 45-50 and is
now well over 100 with no end in sight.  At that point I gave up and
scrapped the whole fucking thing and went back scratch to segment the story
block style and try to contain it as best as I could.  From now on I will
try to forewarn readers if there is EROTICA (in this installment it's
everywhere see the bold letters up top), where there isn't any STORYBOARD,
and where there is symbolism as described as FICTION because there was
literally no other earthly way to describe what happened.  Let me give you
an example; have you ever been on a dark LSD / MUSHROOM / COCAINE freaked
out sexual encounter?  How would you go about describing that to readers,
particularly when the main characters are most certainly not in their right
minds, if you don't want to break too many taboos let alone submission
guidelines?  I hope you see my nightmare.  We are about to go down a long
slippery downhill slide for Max & Chris and while I completely want to bring
you along for the ride I am not totally certain how I can successfully do so
and remain true to character.  Nevertheless here we go and I hope I don't
disappoint too many of you badly.  Please forgive the editing, but I am
feeling rushed to just get something out.  If anyone is volunteering for
proof reading please contact me.

One final comment: Please don't forget the footnotes at the bottom of the
story.  Most of the time it doesn't hurt if you want to jump to the
footnotes first, because it may actually give you some insight into the
storyline as you read.  Also where needed I am starting the stories out with
brief descriptions of past plots, current scenes, current character
development when and where I feel it is needed.  Many readers may find that
a waste of space, but I didn't want to bury all that stuff in the juicier
dialog because then I was afraid of making the storyline drag.  You will
know where the story begins when you see the words: The story begins...

Thank you, MAX,  Mailto:maxborren@att.net

Events up till now:

Chris has lost his family now; rejected by his mother, beaten and outcast by
his abusive father.  Max has taken Chris in and given him a home but he
fears he might again misuse Chris' trust in him to satisfy his constant
burning desires for something more than Chris says he is able to give Max --
at least willingly.  Max is worried because he knows Chris is hiding one or
more dark secrets.  Unknown to Chris is the deep dark past Max has buried
too. That particular point will not be addressed in this installment, in
fact not until much later though it may be too late by then.

The current state of things:

Chris has only recently moved in with Max.  Max rents a large 3 bedroom
apartment in an upscale urban/suburban area in Texas.  The apartment is on
the second floor and includes a formal dining room, 2 private balconies, 2 ˝
baths, a living area and game room / study besides a large kitchen and has
access to a golf course, private pools and tennis courts.  We don't want to
reveal the actual location for privacy sake, but there are really only 4
possibilities in Texas -- so take your pick.  Chris is beginning to like
dressing up in Western Style clothing now -- at least from time to time, so
this may help you pin down a better location (despite common belief real
dressed up cowboys aren't found everywhere in Texas).  Chris, with Max's
help, has been listed as Max's ward for legal purposes.  This has allowed
Chris the opportunity to move his school records both locally and from out
of state to his new High School in this upscale suburban area.  Chris is
still identified as the child of his biological parents, but Max has
`guardian' status now which legally permits Chris to attend school in such
rich surroundings.  Max was able to obtain the guardianship of Chris because
of his connections to legal console and because he used the attack on Chris
by his biological father and the father's friends to bring the threat of
possible criminal abuse charges against the man.  Chris' mother no longer
wants to maintain any further relationship with her son.  At this time it
appears that the father likewise no longer cares for any form of ongoing
relationship with his son.

About the main characters:

Chris is worried that he won't fit in with his new wealthy peers, but Max
has attempted to alleviate this by repeatedly taking Chris shopping at only
the better local stores and to instruct Chris in how to socialize with
people from a more affluent background.  Chris now wears mostly designer
clothing and Western Wear.  At the beginning of summer when Chris moved in
he successfully completed his enrollment in his new high school (he managed
that by leaving Max alone in bed one morning).  He is starting his junior
year now and will turn 17 during the fall semester.  Max has spent a lot of
his free time coaching Chris on how to blend into the new affluent school as
seamlessly as possible.  Chris is most comfortable with blue collar working
people and he has a strong work ethic.  Chris is often uncertain of himself
and is uncomfortable when placed in settings that he believes are outside
his ability to relate (for example extremely wealthy people).  Chris is
really 100 % straight when it comes to his sexual preference -- yet because
of childhood experiences he understands some basic needs and urges that seem
to cross sexual lines -- he chooses not to act on those and believes he
understands why.  Chris is still an outgoing young man who can be
explosively violent if pushed into an untenable situation.  At the same time
Chris is kind hearted, warm, shy around new people or unfamiliar settings
and can be both very opinionated and yet open to new ideas.  Chris has
always felt abandoned by his family and desperately needs and craves the
love and affection that only a family support structure can offer.  Chris
can often suffer from very low self esteem despite the fact that virtually
everyone who meets him is mesmerized by the boy's almost exotic good looks,
his excessively athletic build and his almost intoxicating charm.  Chris has
the power to move masses and yet he has no desire nor does he feel any need
to do so.  Chris is 5 feet 11 inches tall. Chris will be 17 in a few months.
Chris is very well endowed sexually although specifics are somewhat vague
because no one has ever really had a bird's-eye view to this point (you
can't trust Max's viewpoint here because he is infatuated with the boy).
Chris has actually been fairly unsuccessful in his relationships with girls,
but this is most likely due to the low self image previously noted although
that has slowly begun to improve in recent months.  On the other hand Chris
easily forms friendships with his male companions and is often seen as a
leader in that role -- although this is a more recent development in the last
few years.  Chris has a near magnetic attraction from men seeking intimate
male relationships, but Chris is absolutely clueless about this talent -- and
wouldn't want it even if he understood it.

Max works in the Technology Trade sector with a Bachelor's degree in
Technology Trade and Marketing.  Max's family background was mostly from the
upper middle class and he has lived in the West, the Central US, the South
and the North Central US as well.  Max is at home with people from most any
background although he is sometimes repulsed by backwoods people since his
own older family roots came from poor Southern relations.  Max is extremely
outgoing and until recently he was very well poised, successful and had no
doubts about his capabilities or his interests. Max is of better than
average height at just over 6 feet.  Max is 23.  Compared to Chris he is of
a lankier / thin frame and while not nearly as physically gifted as Chris
Max is still very healthy and has been labeled unusually strong for his thin
size by some intimate friends.  Max is always seeking a deeper connection
with all those he associates closely with.  Max tends to like to control
others in his surroundings and was labeled by some friends during college as
a manipulator -- although most meant that in a humorous way.  Max was always
one to work more behind the scenes in the past.  The presence of Chris has
forced Max to realize that he has always had strong feelings for men both
sexually and emotionally and tended toward indifference toward woman in
intimate situations.  This has recently destabilized Max's self image
because in the past he was always very successful in his relationship with
woman -- in fact he often felt too successful since this constantly led
toward serious deep feelings of attachment in the women he dated, while Max
always desired a more open carefree relationship (he just wanted to have
fun).  Max is extremely protective of his personal friendships and is
strongly empathic, and sympathetic -- almost to the point self injury.  Max
tends to be a perfectionist and sees personal weakness as failure in life.
The belief that he has been fighting hidden urges his entire life has caused
Max to overreact and now he often seeks to satisfy those urges frequently at
the exclusion of all other needs and interests.  Max's work productivity on
the job has suffered because of this and is beginning to see his desires as
only a corrupting force in his life.  On the other hand Max's recent sexual
exploits have allowed developing abilities and capabilities that have
enthralled some from Max's inner sexual circle.  Unfortunately this avails
Max little help because he sees Chris as his true soul mate and the only
solution for his constant heartache.   At this time Max is totally devoted
to Chris and yet believes he is also the greatest threat to Chris' long-term
well being.  This is at the center of the reason for Max's current inability
to function well.

The story begins...

"Chris!"    "Chris are you home?"   Where the hell did that kid run off to
now?  (laughing -- heard faintly in the distance)  "Who the hell could that
be?"  Max starts walking toward the private balcony of the living area.  Now
he hears the laughing -- it's coming from the pool... "Hey Christopher, what
the hell are you doing down there man?"

"Hey Max!  Jason, Ted and Emily dropped by for swim.  That's Ok isn't it?"
he said. Sighting the group of extremely attractive young people and lacking
understanding Max turns around and makes a bee line for pool side.

"No, no that's not a problem, Chris, but please remember to lock up the
apartment when you're down here", Max says slightly out of breath from the
jog downstairs.  "You know there's a lot of expensive stuff upstairs and if
we get robbed our renter's insurance rates will go up.  You know I am not
made of gold bars, bubba, so you have to watch out for that kind of stuff."

"Hello Mr. Borren, sir!  I'm Jason" said the strapping 6 feet 2 black haired
blue eyed (hard to see behind the sunglasses) tanned god in the skimpy
Speedos with a swimmer's physique and a tan most Hollywood actors and
actresses would have envied. Max had to deliberately pull his eyes away from
this young man's crotch because his flaccid 12 inch penis (or so it appeared
from the very swim trunks) left absolutely nothing to the imagination --
except for the fact that his testicles seemed to be missing from the picture
and the young man kept sliding in his seat several times as if he couldn't
get comfortable. Jason also spent a lot of time nodding at Chris from behind
his $300 sunglasses.  Max immediately thinks to himself `trouble'.

"Hello Jason, and I'd guess that would make you Ted and of course the
beautiful Emily?" Max managed to steer his eyes to the other handsome sandy
blonde haired boy with the build of a gymnast or maybe a track and field
star.  He guessed his height at around 5 feet 9 or 10 with a good 155 lbs.
of very solid muscles all around.  The boy's eyes appeared to be hazel in
color.  For some reason Ted kept trying to get Jason's attention and seemed
to be frowning at him.  His eyes fell to Emily who was an extremely well
poised young woman -- appearing more like 18 or 19 with bright green eyes and
dishwater blonde hair.  She appeared to be about average height for a
teenaged girl and was very well endowed with a narrow waist and a coke
bottle figure.  A repeated scan of Ted and Emily gave Max and idea.  "Are
you two related?" Max inquired.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Borren."  Emily replied.  "Ted is my first cousin."

"No, no, really, Emily please just call me Max.  I'm only 7 years older than
Christopher here and so most of you too I would assume?"  He looked again at
Emily for guidance, "I am a senior, Mr... Max I mean.  I'll turn 18 in 5
months".

"Well congratulations, Chris, your running around with only upper classmen
now I see.  Well done!" Max beamed down at his protégé.  "And how did you
accomplish this before the school year even started, may I ask?"

"Actually I ran into Emily at school when I went to register several weeks
ago.  Emily was nice enough to give me directions and then before I left we
bumped into each other again in the hallway and she offered to give me her
phone number in case I had any questions about school before it starts next
week." Chris beamed back that radiant smile to Max knowing full well that
this was exactly the kind of interaction Max had hoped Chris would develop
on his own.

"Actually, Max, I am vice president of the student counsel and also a member
of the pep squad for team athletics.  When some of our coaches found out
about Chris' sports background they asked me to see if I couldn't convince
Chris to try out early for the team prior to next week's school kick off"
Emily looked a little shy in her oration to Max, which meant that if Max had
to guess he would bet $100 that Emily actually overheard the coaches and
office staff talking about Chris' background right after he walked in with
his transfer paperwork.  Most likely Emily then `volunteered' to try and
help bring Chris into the fold and also to learn as much about the boy as
she possibly could before any of the other girls at school had the chance.
Max debated how best to proceed since he was uncertain of exactly where
Emily's interests in Chris lay.

Max winked at Emily and said "I think I understand your motivation
completely young lady and I want to personally thank you for helping my ward
here get a leg up so to speak on any competition before the school year
starts.  Chris can't help but benefit from any kind instructions or
directions such a charming young woman as you might care to share with him.
Please feel free to come to our home anytime that you want to, especially if
you think that Chris needs any other special instructions regarding how to
stay ahead of things in school" Max made certain to put the emphasis on the
word `special' and noticed that Emily definitely seemed to pick up on his
hint.  That told Max that Emily was not opposed to a more intimate
relationship with Chris even though he was about a year younger than her.

The pretty young blonde just bobbed her head back at Max, clearly she knew
she was being made to feel special and appreciated the fact that Chris'
family wanted her to feel welcome -- also she mostly understood that she had
Max's approval to pursue Chris to her heart's content.  Max had actually had
a lot of concerns about whether or not families with children from his
apartment complex would be considered to be acceptable companions to some of
the wealthier residents of the area.  "May I ask where you young people
live?" asked Max.

"Yes sir, Mr. Borren, sir. The 3 of us live over in the Woodhaven Hills
community about 12 minutes west of the school" replied Ted.  Oh, thought Max
that's very good indeed for Chris -- those homes all top out at around 2-3
million dollars each in that subdivision.

"Well you know that you are all welcome anytime here at the gym, the pools,
the clubhouse or golf course, just let Chris know that you're planning on
stopping by and stay as long as you like" Max directed that to each of the 3
other students.

There was a private club at Woodhaven Hills, but the facilities there tended
to be reserved for the senior members, the parents, with less offered on an
ongoing basis for the younger members like high school aged children.
However he had no illusions that any of the three really required the use of
their facilities, regardless of how well managed and tailored such amenities
were.  No these three young people were strictly interested in only one
thing -- and that was trying to find out everything they could about Chris,
who he was, where he was from, how much money his family had, etc.  No, this
looked like the school's student version of the welcome wagon -- and Max
needed to guide Chris quickly over any obstacles this might present.
"Christopher could I borrow you from your new friends for just a moment
please?"  Max then started walking toward the apartment door.  Chris quickly
caught up to him but Max just nodded his head lightly to indicate that Chris
should keep silent until they were well out of earshot first.

Once upstairs and inside the door, Max smiled broadly at Chris who pushed
the door closed and turned toward his friend.  Max could tell Chris wanted
to speak first.  "Well Chris, what do you think?" he asked.

"Wow Max, I really was almost speechless when Emily called me and she asked
if she and Ted and Jason could drop by." Chris gushed.  "So swimming was
your idea?" Max asked.  "No actually it was Jason that said it was too warm
for anything else and asked if they could all come over and go for a swim
with me here at the apartment" Chris still beamed at his newfound success.
"Hmmm..." Max walked back over to the glass doors to the balcony off the
living area -- So Emily was with Ted and Jason when she called that indicated
to Max that Jason was very close to Ted or Emily or both.  "Chris would you
come here for a minute, please".  Chris walked over to the balcony door.
"Please stay just out of sight and look down to your new friends and tell me
what you see if you don't mind".

Chris carefully looked through the glass doors and down toward the pool.
Emily was writing something down in the little notebook he saw her walk in
with.  Ted and Jason on the other hand were on the other side of the pool
and Ted seemed to be looking down at Jason and shaking his head back and
forth while repeatedly jabbing his finger down at Jason from time to time.
"I don't know -- what am I suppose to be looking for?  It seems like Ted
might be upset with Jason about something and Emily is just scribbling in
her little book".

Max walked up behind Chris and put his arm over his shoulder, which sent a
quiver through ever inch of Max's body, and then began to point in various
directions toward the group at the pool.  "This is what I saw that you may
have missed.  Did you happen to notice any other times when Emily was
writing in her book?"  Chris thought about it briefly and said, "When they
first arrived Emily asked a lot of questions about my past and your business
and then she tried to change the subject to something about trust funds.  I
really didn't feel like talking about my past -- and you told me to never
give any specific answers if someone asked about that, just to say that our
family came from old money in the country's older industrial northern
sectors.  I didn't understand anything about trust funds and changed the
subject.  I told her I had never really taken any interest in your business
dealings other than that it was in Technology and Global Marketing.  Was
that all correct?" Chris asked.

Max patted the boy on the back and gave him a light hug, "You did very well,
Chris, very well indeed.  That didn't really give her anything solid to go
on, but at least she won't feel you are evading her questions.  Now what do
you think about the younger boys -- Jason and Ted?"  Chris looked back down
at the boys that were in his same class he was starting and then said "I
feel very relaxed with Jason I guess, but for some reason Ted seems a little
nervous and agitated to me",

"Ok, Chris, we obviously need to hone your people skills or you are going to
get into a lot of trouble very easily with these more affluent young people.
Did you notice anything strange about Jason -- at least physically?"  Chris
looked back down at the young man again, obviously he was in some form of
athletics, but not a sport that flashed any insight into Chris' brain at
that moment, "No Max, I think they are both in some kind of sports, but
other than that Jason was moving a lot and like I said Ted appeared to be a
little agitated".

"Ok, look down at Jason again right now.  What's different than it was a few
minutes ago?  Especially look at his swimming trunks." Chris tried his best
to look for whatever Max had picked up on but nothing seemed to be any
different that he could notice.  It didn't help that Chris was totally
uninterested in any boy's genitals or butt so staring at another boy's swim
trunks wasn't something he was comfortable doing.  Being a quick learner and
picking up on Max's direction in his questions, Chris took a longer look at
the young man's trunks.  Suddenly Jason grabbed at his crotch and seemed to
readjust himself quickly -- that must have been hurting him he thought.  When
he moved his hand away Chris now noticed that Jason seemed to have a sizable
set of balls at the bottom of his trunks with a dick that now appeared maybe
9 or 10 inches long and while he was smiling madly at Ted Jason's penis
seemed to start swelling just while Chris was watching it, it didn't appear
to be too thick and certainly not as thick and long as Chris' penis was.
Ted was still yelling at Jason.  Did Jason like Ted yelling at him?  "I
don't understand, but it looks like Jason's got a pretty nice sized dick
that I never noticed before and he also has some pretty good sized balls
too.  But what does that matter, Max?"

"I hate to tell you this Chrisy, but that boy, Jason, was watching your
tight ass most of the time you were visiting down there with him.  He was
also watching to see if you were looking back at him.  Some boys can push
their testicles between their legs at times especially with certain types of
tight swim suits like that pair of Speedos the boy has on or even a pair of
tight underwear.  The discomfort of his crushed balls helped him to prevent
becoming erect even as he was intensely watching you to see if you noticed
him in turn.  Some young men would have immediately seen that Jason was
hiding his testicles and either commented on it or simply stared at the boy.
Either way it would have answered a question or two for Jason -- one that's
obviously been bothering him since he saw you walk out there"  Chris got a
very disturbed look on his face -- he obviously didn't appreciate this side
of his friends character.  "Sorry it's a talent I managed to pick up in the
last few months while going around a certain set of clubs in the area" Max
admitted.  "I still don't get it, Maxi" Chris stated.

Max just shook his head -- if Chris didn't start learning to read boys and
girls better as well as men and women he was most certainly in for a rough
time in the type of school environment he was going to start next week.
"Chris, Jason wants to have sex with you, but Ted is apparently already
having sex with Jason and on the one hand doesn't feel like sharing his
friend with you.  But Ted is torn between envy of you and also feeling some
desire towards you.  Unlike Jason, Ted isn't confident that he could either
compete with you or satisfy you.  Jason wants to know if you can satisfy him
or if he'd rather see you use him instead.  Oh, and while we are on the
subject of Jason, I think he may also be having sexual relations with Emily
since he is certainly a well included member to their family.  Now do you
understand?"

Chris' mouth had dropped open with his eyes now as wide as saucers.  Max
hated being so direct and blunt with the boy -- but Max had always been more
involved in the world around him and long ago learned to pick up on physical
cues even before he had started to act on his feelings about other men.  In
fact Max would have picked up on Jason's attraction to Chris even if he
hadn't been making the scene of so many gay bars in the area lately.  Chris
just didn't understand this `guy on guy' stuff.  In his old family run-down
neighborhood across country sometimes young men might get together for
circle jacks at night, especially if there was free beer and no girls
around, and occasionally some lone boy or another might convince a younger
teen to jack or blow them off if they were really desperate but as far as he
knew none of the old neighbor boys were actually lusting for one another;
although Chris was starting to wonder if that would have been something he
would have been able to figure out on his own anyway.  Chris was definitely
more naive about a lot of things when compared to Max.  While Chris
desperately wanted to fit in at this new school he was very uncomfortable
about it, especially if it was going to involve learning a lot more about
same sex situations and feelings which repulsed the boy.

While standing there with Max who kept urging him to think about the other
boy's crotch that suddenly caused Chris' thoughts to drift back to his
childhood.  So much of his younger years were a blank to the young man.
Chris imaged much of that was because so many things were bad memories like
the regular beatings from his father and he had been trying for years to
block them out.  Suddenly something clear came back to him; Chris' little
dick had begun developing in 2nd grade and even by that time he hated the
annual physical exam at his pediatrician's office because every time Chris
would get an erection the moment the doctor began pulling down on his
waistband.  Then while Chris' little penis was always so stiff the doctor
would rub his little testicles which eventually caused what Chris thought of
as pee pee to leak out of the end of his penis.  Around this time doctors
always began saying "My you're a big boy aren't you!"  Chris never
understood this because most of the way through grade school he was much
smaller than his classmates.  The first time the pee pee was noticed on his
penis during an exam the pediatrician dropped his mouth open and began
insisting from that point on about always performing a `thorough' and rough
exam of the small boy's erect penis after noticing the leaking liquid.  He
would squeeze the boy's penis shaft from the base all the way to the tip,
several times, and then use a Kleenex each time to wipe away all the liquid.
Chris thought on a few occasions that he saw the doctor storing the used
Kleenex tissues but he wasn't certain of that.  His doctor never did
anything else, but every year Chris would try and escape before the doctor
could exam his penis and testes, but the doctor was always prepared and
waiting for the little boy and so he was never able to escape the
humiliation.

Eventually the family moved to another area locally which caused a school
change and Chris then had a new pediatrician for the yearly exams, but the
same things just kept happening -- except this doctor had small sterile
towels and he just told the boy to clean himself and he didn't take as long
to examine his penis that by now was anything but small.  Chris couldn't
remember exactly when he had changed schools -- something seemed to be
blocking that memory a voice in his head shouted an urgent warning.
Thinking back about his physical exams once more Chris remembered that even
the school nurses always seemed interested in his penis from 2nd grade on --
anytime he got so much as a scratch below the waist or near the top of this
thighs -- everyone insisted on looking in his pants and often examining his
genitals.  On one occasion even the school principal needed to help out the
school nurse for some reason during a pelvic exam for a bruise that turned
into a pubic exam if such a thing even exists for school children.  This
always upset Chris and he used to cry himself to sleep often on certain
nights because he just wanted to have genitals that were normal like all the
other boys at school -- something other people wouldn't notice as much.  This
was why Chris was terrified of both doctors and nurses not to mention some
teachers and principals.

"Chris are you with me?" asked Max.  Chris remembered where he was and
looked up at his friend who was still waiting for his comments about the
boys outside.  "I'm sorry Maxi, I was just remembering some stuff that
happened to me years ago when I was still a little kid.  I guess I have
mentioned that I hate getting physicals for school each year.  When I walked
in with the transfer papers they told me that I didn't have a signed
physical exam release.  Damn I hate doctors!  Is there anything you can do
to help?"  Max said "Sure Chris I think I can locate someone discreet, maybe
I'll mention sitting in during your checkup, since I'm your guardian and you
are still a minor I have that right.  I'm certain that will keep things very
brief for you".  Max seemed to be reassuring and Chris decided that at this
point it wasn't anything Max hadn't already seen more than once and if his
appearance could keep the touching to a minimum then Chris was all in favor
of that.  The thoughts of childhood flashed by again.  There was something
important there, a face, a kind face and big protective arms.  For some
reason it reminded Chris of Max.  "What is it, bubba?" Max asked while he
again placed his arm protectively over Chris' shoulder.  When Max had said
`bubba' and then touched Chris' shoulder so tenderly that touch along with
the brotherly word ignited feelings Chris felt certain he had forgotten many
many years ago.  Part of his mind shouted at the boy to stop this at once,
but another voice echoed in his mind in a familiar pattern that was exactly
liked an old old friend who was yet a very young boy.  "Ben?" Chris almost
shouted.  "Ben? Chrisy, whose Ben?" Max whispered.  Max obviously didn't
want to disturb Chris' train of thought just now.  Chris put out his hand on
the glass of the balcony door, he felt dizzy, and his breathing became heavy
and labored.  "Ben?" Chris whispered the name again.  "I'm sorry Max, I
think Ben was my best friend in one of the grade schools I attended here in
Texas" Chris barely managed to choke out the words.  "What school, Chris?
When was this if you don't mind my asking?" Max again spoke quietly almost
pleadingly Chris thought.  Why would it matter what I tell Max about grade
school the young man argued with himself.  Again a single voice in his head
that was almost shouting, his own voice, begging Chris to forget, pleading
to ignore the past -- the past meant nothing.  `Let go.'  `You're safe now,
don't bring back the danger' the voice echoed in his mind.  Chris looked to
Max who gave the boy that steadfast smile, encouraging him and then Chris
seemed to mention the name of a long forgotten school, but his own words
seem to drift in a haze in his mind.  "Ben was in my grade, but he was older
and I remember being best friends, but something about that isn't safe, Max"
Chris explained.  "What isn't safe, Chrisy?  Can you tell me anything more?"
Max is most definitely pleading now. Chris can easily hear the worry in his
friend's voice.  "Give me a minute Maxi, Ok?  Just let me think for a few
moments" as Chris walked off a few feet.  He hears Max begin to object, but
there is silence.  Silence except the light sound of Chris' feet drifting
across the carpeted living area.  Silence and then laughter, the laughing of
grade school children.  Then it blossoms in his mind's eye and the memories
begin flooding back to him.

Chris' had, up till last summer, only had 2 voluntary sex acts shared with
other boys -- ever in his entire life, not to mention just 2 with girls as
well and one with an adult woman, his dad's girlfriend at the time.  While
in Texas during a long stay with his father, Chris' 5th grade best friend
was visiting for a sleepover on a hot summer weekend.  Chris' dad had
completely passed out earlier in his bedroom and so the 2 boys were
completely on their own.  The Texas heat (his dad hated spending money on
electric bills) was so bad that night that both boys eventually even pulled
off their underwear when they could no longer stand the heat.  Just lying
side by side on the bed with sweat running down their bodies, but the breeze
from a small box fan blowing on them felt so cool that they couldn't resist.
Ben was Chris' best friend. In fact Ben had been in the same school for
years, but he used to be a grade ahead of Chris.  The boy was actually a
year older and a lot bigger than Chris.  Chris tried to remember was it 2nd
or 3rd grade when Ben had been away from school.  It was either 3rd or early
4th grade year when Ben was back at school but by then he was in Chris'
grade.  Both boys always recognized each other across the playground, but
bigger boys tended to be bullies and picked on Chris often at school
especially in the gym or in the bathroom.  Chris' next memory is of being in
the same class as Ben though he can't seem to remember which semester that
was.

At some time the boys had become friends and then the next memory is of Ben
is of him always in the desk next to Chris.  Chris vaguely remembers that
after Ben had come back from his absence Chris used to catch Ben staring at
him, but Ben would always quickly turn away and Ben never tormented or
teased Chris like the other kids did.  Chris remembered that after he and
Ben started sitting together in class Ben began to become protective of his
friend whenever one school bully or another would try and pick fights with
the shy boy or to tease him or try to embarrass him.  Always small for his
age -- at least until his big growth spurt started in 5th grade, Chris was by
this time teased constantly and had other children giggling and pointing
fingers at him while they laughed.  Sometimes bigger boys had confronted
Chris in the bathroom and always loved to yank his pants and underwear down
around his knees then yell "Freak" and run off before a teacher caught them.
Chris understood this was because his penis was too large for a boy his age.
He sometimes heard the other children mentioning that his dick was the
biggest in school.  Of course starting only a few months later Ben would go
on to develop one of the largest dicks in his school's student history but
at the start of 5th grade Ben's little penis was virtually none existent
still with barely 2 inches showing if that much, compared to Chris.  The
other school boys also had many other comments about Chris' genitals but the
boy just tried to block them out but still in the bathroom they laughed and
made fun of Chris.  By now Chris hated his private parts and was always
embarrassed to reveal any part of his naked body in front of anyone.  Even
at home he didn't like running around with his shirt off, even if only his
dad was home, the boy was simply too embarrassed by what was too him his
freaky monster body parts.  Even his testes were freakishly larger than
normal.

That night in bed Chris almost fell asleep from the heat, but then he heard
Ben gasp.  Chris looked down toward the fan at their feet, and then in the
moonlight he saw that he had an erection and that it was very noticeable in
the moonlight falling in the room.  Chris could feel his face turning even
hotter and red.  Ben surely saw Chris' erection and was shocked and
horrified by the ugly freakish thing.  Chris just put his hands over his
face and started to sob quietly.  He didn't want Ben to see him crying but
he didn't know anyway to make the erect penis stop being erect and he didn't
want his friend to know that he was so upset.  Suddenly his penis began to
soften and Chris began to stop crying.  Then he tried to peek out of his
hands to look at Ben and see if Ben was still looking at him.  Sure enough
the older boy was staring straight at Chris' crotch and his mouth was kind
of open in a big `O'.  Chris couldn't help himself, he truly began to cry
now and it soon became obvious that Ben had noticed.  "Hey Krisi, please
stop crying, can you tell me what's the matter?"  Ben reached over and put
his big arm around the much smaller boy and tried to reassure him, but it
was obvious that Ben was uncomfortable and didn't know how to help the
little boy.  Ben had a funny way of saying his pet name for Chris.  He
accentuated a hard K sound with a big Y sound at the end.  Chris knew it was
part of how Ben displayed his friendship toward Chris, but it also made
Chris think that instead of seeing Chris as an equal classmate Ben just
thought of him as a little boy who needed a big boy's protection.  Chris
just cried harder and started to turn away from Ben.  "Come on Krisi, I'm
sorry, I didn't know looking at you like that would make you cry."  Oh `NO'
Ben had realized that Chris saw him looking at his freaky penis!  Chris
jumped out of the bed and ran to the far corner of the room, crouching down
into the corner trying to become invisible to the much larger boy and to
hide his freakish genitals, but he couldn't stop his frantic crying now.

"Oh come on, Krisi, I said I was sorry.  Please don't be mad at me.  I would
never ever hurt you. You now that."  Chris was shaking.  His whole world had
become a nightmare even his best friend just thought he was a freak and a
cry baby.  Suddenly Ben's big arms wrapped around the much smaller boy.
"Krisi -- you stop this right now!" Ben said in a very stern voice.  Chris
didn't know what to do.  The other boy was so big and so strong.  Chris had
never realized just how much bigger and stronger Ben was until now.  No
wonder all the other boys never touched Chris when Ben was around!  Ben had
one arm under Chris' butt and legs and the other behind his neck.  As easily
as the boys might pick up a baby puppy Ben rolled Chris into his lap as he
squatted on the floor.  In one gentle easy motion the bigger boy lifted his
small naked friend up in his arms and without even losing a single breath
carried the little boy back to the bed and gently laid him down on the soft
mattress.  Ben took his arms out from under his little naked friend and in
the dim light Chris could see Ben put on a big smile.  The bigger boy took
one huge hand and stretched it out and with his large fingers he wiped the
tears off the smaller boy's face and pulled the bedraggled bangs out of his
eyes.  Chris just lay there mesmerized by the gentleness of his big friend.


Why was Ben being so nice to a freak like Chris?  "I'm really sorry Krisi, I
know that you don't like people looking at your penis.  I figured that out
in school a long time ago and so I make certain not to look during school
like most of the other boys do.  But you gotta understand, I just couldn't
help myself.  I mean mine's smaller than most of the other boys at school
even though I'm so much bigger and I've always wanted to get a good look at
what made all the other boys so mad." Ben quietly explained to his little
friend.  "I do wish mine was a lot more like yours. I guess I'm like all the
other boys that way, but I would never try to hurt you just because I'm
jealous that you have such a nice big dick unlike mine!" Ben pleaded.
WHAT?  What was Ben trying to say?  He was jealous?  The other boys WANTED a
dick like his?  No, that couldn't be right; everyone just wanted to see the
freakish thing.  The nurses, the doctors, teachers, principal and all the
other students just wanted to be entertained by the freak boy with the big
penis. "I'm nnnot mmmad at you BBben" the little boy stammered, and couldn't
help releasing another small sob.  "You don't have to lie to me.  I know you
all think I'm just a freaky kid." Chris admitted.  He was so ashamed having
to talk to his best friend about the reason everyone made fun of him.  Chris
always felt so good around Ben.  The bigger boy was his protector and his
friend.  Now the big boy would have to acknowledge Chris' shame.  "I guess
some boys call it freaky, Krisi, but that's just because they get so mad
that such a little guy like you gets the first big dick in school" Ben
laughed.  Chris couldn't believe what he was hearing from his friend.
Slowly Chris stretched his body out, he was completely exposed in front of
his big friend and he felt very vulnerable.  Wiping another tear from his
eye he slowly pointed to his penis and then asked "You like my ugly penis?"
Ben just chuckled with his boyish kind on laugh "I said I wish mine was just
like yours didn't I?"  Chris started to relax and just take a good look and
his penis now, a thing he rarely ever did.  For a boy his age it was huge.
Not so much thick right now but pretty long.  Probably at least 3 inches
maybe even 4 or was it 5.  Chris never measured the ugly thing, he didn't
want to know the truth and so he really had no exact idea except in
proportion to other boys.

Slowly he moved his hand off his eyes and then stretched it out to grab his
penis and slowly turn it back and forth with his small hand.  The freakish
organ looked even bigger in his little hand -- and then it started to swell.
OH NO -- it was going to get erect.  Chris dropped it like a snake was trying
to bite him and started to cover his eyes with his hands again.  "What's the
matter, Krisi?" asked Ben.  "Don't look Ben, I don't want you to see me pee
pee on myself" Chris cried. "What do you mean?" Ben asked.  "Pee pee" Chris
replied, "When it starts to get big like that. You know like when you go to
the bathroom".  "Oh" Ben said.  For a moment both boys just stayed quiet and
still.  The Ben seemed to decide something, "You don't play with your penis
much do you Krisi?" Ben asked.  "NO" Chris replied, "Why would I do that --
it causes the pee to come".  Ben slowly nodded his head and then he gently
smiled down on the little boy.  "Krisi, can I touch it?" he asked.  "You're
not afraid of getting pee pee on your hands?" the little boy asked.  "No"
said the bigger boy, "but if you let me touch it I think I can tell you
what's happening.  I can tell you things that you don't know, but I think
you ought to know."  Chris wasn't sure about that, but he trusted his big
friend and if Ben wasn't upset about the possibility of getting pee on his
hand then why should Chris object -- except for the humiliation and he was
used to that.  Chris had never liked anyone touching his penis, but if Ben
knew something that Chris didn't -- well Ben was a big boy he probably knew a
lot of things Chris didn't know.  "Ok, Ben, you can touch it" the small boy
answered quietly.

Ben got back on the bed and stepped over the smaller boy quickly.  He seemed
to be excited now. Then Ben dropped onto his knees next to Chris' waist and
gently carefully reached a big hand out to capture the little boy's huge
penis in his hand.  Immediately his penis became more erect.  Ben just held
his hand perfectly still, fascinated, watching the other boy's penis get
larger and larger in front of his eyes.  When the organ seemed to stop and
would grow no more Ben turned his head to face his small friend and said
gently, "I promise Krisi, I won't hurt you, Ok? I need to touch it a certain
way to check something."  Chris swallowed suddenly.  Ben was beginning to
frighten him, but then he remembered all the times the bigger boy had beat
up the bullies that plagued his much smaller friend.  So Chris answered "I
trust you Ben.  I guess it's Ok this time".  Ben just smiled at Chris and
then he placed his other hand over the small boy's huge erect penis.  By now
Chris' penis was standing much higher -- about 45 degrees from his tummy
pointing at the top of the headboard of his bed.  Ben placed his other hand
over Chris' penis so that both huge hands now encapsulated the large organ.
Ben's hands almost covered the entire penis, something Chris could never
have done. Even with both his hands he could not cover up his entire penis.
For a few moments Ben just held his penis in a way that was squeezing it
gently but firmly.  Then Chris thought that Ben might be trying to warm his
penis up. But why would the bigger boy need to do that -- it was already so
hot they were both sweating.  Speaking of sweat, Ben's hands were sweaty too
-- and then he began to run Chris' penis between them, kind of like trying to
roll molding clay into a ball.  Chris suddenly felt a tingling that seemed
to come from his tummy.  No it was his penis now he was sure.  Suddenly the
massive organ began to grow again.  Ben's eyes got even wider and for a
moment he stopped rubbing.  Chris had never seen his penis get this big, but
when Ben began to gently rug again Chris couldn't help it he suddenly felt
like arching his back which caused his erection to push out from between
Ben's big hands.

Chris moaned and then lay back again.  Now Ben pulled up on his penis,
trying to pull it away from his body but the skin on the shaft just slid
back slowly.  "What?" Chris started to ask.  "Shh, its ok Krisi be still"
the big boy counseled.  Again Chris couldn't help arching his back he felt
that he desperately needed to push his penis against something and so he
pushed hard against Ben's big hands.  His penis exploded out of Ben's grasp,
but the bigger boy quickly grabbed harder to keep it under his control.
When Ben grabbed so hard and squeezed Chris thought he was going to pass
out, the room started spinning and it felt like his heart was in his penis
instead of in his chest. And again he couldn't help arching backwards and
thrusting his penis violently forward.  This time the bigger boy was ready
and gripped firmly on Chris' hard erection, but still the penis pushed
through the big boy's sweating hands.  Suddenly crystal like sparkling clear
droplets of liquid began to appear at the end of the boy's penis.  "Ben,
watch out, Ben, it's the pee pee" Chris cried, "You need to stop.  I don't
want it on you".  The boy who now appeared more of a giant just kept firm
control of his small friend's body.  "It Ok, Krisi, it's Ok, I'm fine.
Don't stop.  Keep going and you'll understand" Ben urged.

Chris couldn't make it stop.  The pee pee now began streaming out his pee
hole and Ben's hands suddenly became slick with the stuff.   The big boy
wasn't mad, and he didn't seem to mind at all.  Three, four, seven, ten, the
little boy couldn't stop he kept arching his back and thrusting his penis
forward and then collapsing and doing it again and again. Then the boy's
spasming began to slow and stop, and in its place Ben was rocking and moving
his hands up and down his small friend's penis.  "It's Ok little guy" Ben
whispered, "Just relax and let it happen. I won't let anyone hurt you,
Krisi, I promise.  No one will ever hurt you, but you need to know.  You
need to feel it now".  His friend's quiet words relaxed the little boy
deeper and deeper there was a glowing feeling now that radiated from the tip
of his penis all the way back down and into his body.  His testes had drawn
up into his body too.  Every so often Ben reached down further with his
hands and gently rubbed them as well as his penis.  Chris' toes began to
arch backward on their own.   His penis was glowing in the moonlight every
time Ben pulled his hands down the long shaft and his friend kept pushing
the large organ to stand more and more straight out from the little boy's
body.  No more was the tiny boy arching or thrusting -- the big boy was doing
everything for his little friend.  Where had Ben learned to do this Chris
suddenly thought. Then all thoughts fled as the big boy intensified the
stroking movements of his small friend.  "Soon little guy" Ben cooed, "Just
let it happen, now. I'd never hurt you, Krisi.  No one will ever hurt you my
little guy.  I'll always be here to protect you."  The words became a
lullaby to the boy.  The sensations now washed over him in waves like the
ocean.  The gentle rocking of Ben's movements, the tingling glow from Chris'
tummy -- his entire life was now being centered near the tip of his penis.
Ben seemed to be avoiding touching there.  "Your ready now, Krisi" Ben said.
In the dream like state Chris looked down at his big friend, his protector,
but instead of looking at the little boy's penis Ben was watching his tummy.
Chris barely noticed that it was quivering now, in and out, in and out,
coming faster and faster.  "It's time little buddy.  Time to grow up and be
a man.  Whatever happens, Krisi, don't stop.  It's going to be Ok.  When
it's time I'll tell you, and then we'll stop.  Ok?"

Chris simply moaned in answer.  He couldn't speak anymore.  His whole body
was now pulsing with energy, glowing, growing.  Ben was right.  Chris felt
his chest get bigger, his legs stronger, and his arms wider.  Is this what
it felt like to be a man?  Then it happened.  It was coming. Slowly oh so
slowly Chris pushed his penis up and up against his friend's hands.  Oh my
god, it was so big now!  What if it never became normal again?  How could he
ever hide that monster thing?  It was glistening now so bright and
brilliant.  Why was it so bright?  It was the moonlight and the streetlight
at the end of the block shining through the bedroom window -- and the pee,
the clear pee pee that was everywhere now.  Coating Ben's hands front and
back, all around Chris' crotch and dribbling down the boy's legs -- it was
everywhere, never before had there been so much fluid, never before.
Nothing could contain it -- nothing could hold it back.  Chris pushed more.
He felt his entire body slide back into the bed, deep into the mattress.
The sheets were sliding out from under him.  Was Ben lifting him up?  No Ben
was trying to hold his friend down.  What was happening?  Chris couldn't
stop his life, his blood; his body was rising up through his penis.  The
universe had become his penis.

His whole life he had feared this ugly massive organ.  He hated it, he
loathed it. His penis was his humiliation, the reason for all his fear and
pain and tears.  Now Ben had Chris' entire universe in his hands -- small
gentle hands they seemed now compared to the massive glistening penis.  Then
it happened.  So suddenly Chris couldn't even breathe.  In fact time seemed
to slow and then slowly it stopped.  Starlight erupted in the night.  White
light streamed from his penis as it shot up and up past all sight and then
it just as quickly collapsed.  Was it over?  NO again his universe exploded
upward through his penis. Ben kept his friend firmly attached to the ground,
but then he whispered, "Oh my god, little buddy.  No man will ever top you."
Again the blazing white hot starlight flashed from his penis and Ben
couldn't control it anymore.  The boy's hands slipped suddenly and the penis
exploded upward from between them. "Ahhhhhhhh" Chris shouted.  Ben grabbed
the little boy's body and threw his naked chest across Chris' crotch while
wrapping his big arms around the little boy's butt.  Suddenly Ben's face
flashed over the little boy's penis.  AGAIN the hot starlight erupted from
the boy's penis.  It was out of control.  Ben's face was splashed with the
hot liquid. Again it erupted from the little boy and flooded over Chris'
face too and his chest and stomach.  "God damn little guy" Ben shouted to
his friend.  Over and over the bright liquid splashed.  It was everywhere
and it seemed like it would never stop.

Then Chris heard it.  Little giggles at first and then wild laugher erupting
from Ben's lungs and chest. "NOW LITTLE GUY.  I PROMISE IT WILL STOP, BUT
YOU HAVE TO FINISH IT" Ben shouted to him.  And then Ben embraced the tiny
boy.  Their two naked bodies smashed into each other.  Chris felt it happen
-- the explosion from his loins.  He fell back and was folded into the big
boy's arms.  He was beyond humiliation.  He was beyond tears or sorrow.
Everything was just now, this one moment with Ben.  Never before, and the
boy thought never again, will I ever feel like this.  The waves crashed into
his body, crashed into his mind, crashed and were contained by Ben. Then the
little body began to shake everywhere all at once and the big boy crushed
him into his body trying to stop the now violent shaking.  The little boy's
penis now wasn't joy -- it wasn't the universe, suddenly it was torment.
"Aiehhh" the boy screamed. His legs tried to contract into his body. His
head smashed down into Ben's shoulder.  Ben jumped up and grabbed the little
boy allowing him to contract into a fetal position on the bed.  The big boy
encased the little one in his arms.

"STOP KRISI" Ben commanded. Chris couldn't help it. His body was aching and
burning.  Then Ben was there in his face, "It's over my little guy.  I'll
clean it up. Just be still". Slowly the big boy began to lick Chris face.
What was he doing? There was a sticky feeling to everything it seemed -- and
a smell and the little boy didn't like. "Be still little guy" Ben ordered.
The big boy licked all over his face. Then he glided his tongue down every
inch of Chris' small chest as he pulled and stretched the smaller boy back
out. "Hmmm" Ben moaned as he began to lick Chris' stomach. The large boy
stopped when he got to Chris crotch -- frozen.  Chris knew that if Ben so
much as applied the tiniest touch to his penis that Chris would start
screaming and never stop.  Ben spent what felt like hours but was in reality
on a few seconds watching the small boy's huge organ gradually shrinking
back to its long narrow natural state.  Ever so slowly the big boy blew his
cooling breath of Chris' penis.  Even that little sensation was almost more
than Chris could stand and he felt his whole body spasm and a groan escaped
the little boy's lips.  Then Ben was cleaning Chris' legs -- wherever the
older boy found spent liquid he used his own mouth to clean up the remains.
Slowly Ben began to methodically rub down the little boy's body and muscles.
Then he wiped spilled liquid from his own body and licked it off his hands
and fingers. How could Ben lick up the pee pee, Chris thought himself?  That
was gross.  Chris would've thrown up for sure he thought.

Slowly carefully Ben stretched out his hands toward Chris' penis.  `NO', no
Chris thought it'll hurt! I'll scream and my dad will wake up and find us.
The little boy almost began crying again from the fear.  As if a feather had
come to rest on his shaft -- that tenderly did Ben's big hand glide over the
little boy's now flaccid penis.  Gradually the hand surrounded and lightly
held the boy's testes.  "Ohhh" Chris moaned.  This was where the real pain
was centered.  As if to caress the wings of a broken butterfly the bigger
boy just drew his finger tips so delicately around the tiny boy's scrotum.
He avoided any direct touch to either testicle.  Cautiously Ben gradually
coaxed the tiny boy's large testicles away from his body cavity.  He
messaged the sac with the greatest care and then eased his face down and
began to lick all the stickiness away from Chris' scrotum.  Gradually Ben
began tracing his tongue everywhere else through the small boy's crotch,
until all was clean except the penis.  For a long time Ben cradled Chris in
his arms while he sat frozen in guardianship over the little boy's large
flaccid penis.  Then Ben flowed down and away with his friend.  Depositing
the small boy on the mattress again. Ben looked up and took a big hand and
again pulled the sweaty bangs from the little boy's face.  "One last thing,
Krisi. I'll be very careful.  Don't be afraid.  You may not like it at
first, but if it hurts the pain will be gone quickly, Ok?"  Chris was beyond
caring now.  This all felt so strange.  Why had Ben done this?  What had
Chris learned?  The little boy didn't understand".

Chris looked back up into Ben's face; the older boy was waiting patiently
for Chris to give permission.  Ben didn't need permission.  The older boy
could have done anything he wanted and nothing Chris could've done would've
been able to stop him. Still Ben waited.  Then the older boy's face began to
slowly spread wide with a gentle last smile.  "I love you little guy" Ben
said, "but I need your permission to finish this".  Ben loved him?  What did
that mean?

The only people that had ever said they loved him had been Chris'
grandparents -- his mother's parents.  His father's parents he'd never seen.
Chris had never met them nor heard his father ever mention them.  His
mother's parents had died in a car crash when Chris was 6.  Chris never
really understood love, but he did remember the last time he saw his
grandparents.  His grandfather had picked up the tiny boy and embraced him
so gently in his big arms like he was a fragile piece of glass.  Then his
grandmother had come and taken the boy so tenderly from her husband and his
grandfather wrapped his arms around the tiny boy and his wife.  The old
woman (actually she was only about 45 then) smiled and stared deeply into
Chris' eyes.  Her eyes were blue just like Chris' everyone used to say. "We
love you so much my little man" his grandmother said.  "Grow big and strong
son" his grandfather boomed in his giant voice.  So carefully and slowly his
grandmother had handed off the little boy to his mother. She promptly stood
the boy on the ground, "We'll have none of that son, you aren't a baby that
needs cuddling anymore" his mother had said in her stern voice while she
frowned at her departing parents.  As they drove away his grandmother looked
back over her shoulder and waved at Chris.  The little boy waved as his
mother began to drag him back toward their home.  The little boy frantically
looked back over his shoulder one last time and saw that his grandmother was
still smiling and waving at him.  The boy never saw them again.

"Ok, little guy?" Ben queried again.  Chris just nodded his head.  Whatever
Ben was asking this seemed to be the signal that he could precede. Slowly
Ben moved his head down to Chris' crotch.  In one swift gentle motion Ben
pulled Chris' penis completely into his mouth.  Chris groaned -- the
sensation was pleasure, pressure and pain.  His testicles attempted to rise
into his body again, but the older boy's hands gently kept them in place --
fully anticipating that response.  Ben used his tongue to slowly clean and
massage Chris' penis.  Now Ben had indeed cleaned every inch of himself and
the tiny boy -- all with his mouth and tongue!  Suddenly Chris felt something
stirring from his penis.  It began to slowly get erect again, and then
stopped.  Like slow motion Chris felt something slowly flow in small amounts
through his penis.  Ben chocked a couple of times, but didn't stop what he
was doing.  "Hmmm" Ben groaned again.  Slowly Chris' penis began to shrink.
After a while Ben stopped his oral message and ever so slowly pulled his
mouth away from Chris' penis.  What had happened?  What was the stuff
flowing through his penis, the little boy asked himself?  For a few silent
moments Ben stared down at what had always been Chris' greatest humiliation
and shame.  Somehow now with Ben this was no longer the case.  Ben bowed his
head placing his nose into the little boy's crotch just below his penis and
above his ball sac.  Ben began to slowly take in a deep breath and then he
gently laid his head on Chris' stomach while his hand lightly brushed Chris'
genitals one final time.  Slowly Ben sat up on the bed and then lay down
beside Chris on his side facing the little boy.  For a long time neither one
said a word, while Ben watched his small friend's face for a reaction.

Finally Chris got up the courage to stare right back into Ben's face.
"Why'd you do that to me Ben?" Chris asked with a small quiver in his high
pitched little boy voice.  Ben gently reached out a big hand and placed it
in the center of Chris' small chest and then slowly and gently drew his hand
down Chris' body until it rested once more on Chris' penis.  Chris stayed
perfectly still, quivering just a fraction each time Ben's hand finished a
pass over his penis.  "Does that hurt now, little guy?" Ben asked.  Chris
shook his head, `no'.  Slowly Ben began to pull hard and with more force on
the little boy's long penis.  The penis responded to the touching and began
to grow once more.  Again Chris let out a low moan. "That feels nice doesn't
it?" Ben quietly asked.  Chris just nodded his head up and down but still
kept silent.  Then Ben's hand stopped and pull back then dropped slowly to
rest at the top of Chris' groin.  Ben made tiny swirls with the tips of his
fingers across Chris' skin.  Chris couldn't help himself and he giggled.
Ben's response was to run his fingers lighter and faster as if pulling an
invisible dancer through the air.  Chris jerked and giggled louder.  "Stop
Ben.  That tickles.  Stop" Chris laughed when he said that.  Ben's big hand
stopped and then carefully he pinched his fingers together and lightly
pulled up.  Chris felt a gentle tug of something pulling up the skin in his
groin.  "You have a pretty good bunch of hair coming in there, little guy"
Ben chuckled.  "Hair?" Chris asked even though he knew it was there.  "Yea"
Ben replied.

Suddenly Ben jumped up and raised his arms over his head, then with one hand
he pointed to his armpit and bent over Chris.  "Hair, see?"  Chris had never
looked at Ben's armpits before, or really any other kid's armpits for that
matter. Then Ben picked up Chris' small hand and pulled it up to place it
into his open arm pit -- the hairs were very thin and delicate.  Then Ben
took Chris' hand and pulled it down toward the bigger boy's crotch.  Chris
started to jerk his hand away, but Ben's grip was like iron and he held
Chris' arm and hand firm without causing pain.  "It's ok, little guy" he
said, "I just want to show you something".  Ben placed Chris' fingers on the
skin just above Ben's penis.  "No hair, see?" Ben said.  Chris nodded his
head, he felt no hair there.  Ben placed Chris' hand on his little body just
above his penis and with Ben's finger laced between Chris' fingers he
dragged them all around on Chris' skin there.  "Feel the hair now?" Ben
asked.  "Yes, Ben" Chris replied, the hair was shorter and softer then the
hair on Ben's body had been.  Then Ben placed Chris' hand on Chris' penis
and Ben pulled Chris' other hand over and placed it over Ben's penis.
Likewise Ben moved one of his hands also over Chris' penis and the other one
over Chris' hand on Ben's penis.  "Watch and feel" the older boy instructed.
Ben directed the hands over Chris' body to grasp and stroke Chris' penis
until it began to grow.  Then Ben did the same with his own penis.  After a
while Ben's penis had grown to at least 3 maybe 4 times its original size.
Chris' penis got much bigger but not as much bigger in proportion to the
original size as Ben's.  "My older brothers say that some day my dick will
be as big as theirs are.  Their dicks are even bigger than yours" Ben
explained to Chris. "Sometimes a guy's dick can start out small and then get
really big when it gets hard.  Other times guy's dicks start out big but
they don't get much bigger when they get hard" Ben lectured the little boy.


"Where'd you learn all of this Ben?" asked Chris. "Aw mostly from my older
brothers because they said I needed to know it all in case I had to go back
to reform school" Ben answered.  Chris had heard about reform school before.
It was like jail for bad kids. "You went to reform school?" Chris asked.
"Sure didn't you know?  That's why we're in the same grade even though I'm a
year older than you.  That held me back a year" Ben answered.  "What for?"
Chris asked again.  "Oh some friends and me, well we broke into a place with
lots of candy and stole it, but they caught us" said Ben.  "Who caught you?'
asked Chris.  "The cops -- you know they drive around in those white cars and
wear blue pants, shirts and hats with gold shields on them" Ben answered
again, "Don't ever let the cops catch you Krisi. Not unless you want to end
up in reform school." Ben said this in a very direct manner and poked the
smaller boy in the chest to make his point.  "At reform school there are
lots of older guys; other boys and old guys that work there.  Some of them
are really mean and they make you do things you don't want to or they can
really hurt you.  Beat you up bad." Ben slowly replied as he looked out the
window.  "That was where I learned to do what I just did for you" the bigger
boy quietly admitted, "I mean how to clean a man up.  Except I didn't want
to hurt you Krisi.  I'd never do that to you" Ben stated.  "I wanted you to
learn because when you're a man you've got to know how to do that and to
make babies and all" the boy smiled down at Chris.

"Babies?" Chris asked.  "Yea, that's what the stuff you're calling pee pee
is for, except it ain't yellow like pee, and you learn to like it when other
guys make you eat it all the time" Ben stated as a matter of fact.  "They
call it `come' in reform school, but I think its called `sturm' or something
like that for real."  "Watch Krisi" Ben instructed him again.  Ben sat back
and started rubbing his penis, stroking it up and down and as it grew he
began to groan more and more.  The older boy's penis eventually got pretty
big.  Not as big as Chris' erect penis had been but large all the same.
Once Ben established a kind of rhythm he began to clench his hand harder and
groan louder all the time.  Finally clear liquid started to flow out of the
tip of the big boy's erect penis and finally a couple of little squirts more
shot out a short distance before the boy stopped what he was doing.  "Wanna
touch it?" Ben asked with a gleam in his eye.  Chris shook his head `NO'
violently.  He never liked touching his own penis so why'd he ever want to
touch another boy's penis?  Ben got a hurt feeling and then looked kind of
mad and grabbed the smaller boy's hand and forced it up against his wet
penis that was now shrinking.  "NO", Chris screamed and then rolled over and
started to cry again. The terror of strangers touching him without his
permission and making him stand there naked kept flashing in his mind.
After a few moments the bigger boy's hand reached over Chris' shoulder and
gently pulled the naked smaller boy onto his back once more.  Chris tried to
resist but Ben was too big and too strong and Chris knew he couldn't fight
off the big boy no matter what he wanted.  "I'm sorry little guy.  I forgot
how it feels when big guys force you to do what you don't want to" Ben
barely spoke to Chris so quiet was his voice.

Chris wiped his tears and asked "Bigger boys forced you to do things?" he
asked.  Ben just shook his head up and down and Chris could see that it
looked like he might start crying.  Then the big boy spoke so softly that
Chris almost didn't hear him, "The first time was the cops that caught me
and then took me to jail".  Chris saw real fear in his big friend's eyes.
The little boy didn't think there was anything that could frighten Ben.  "My
older brother's told me I was being a sissy and to toughen up and take it
like a real man" the big boy quietly explained.  "When I finally got out of
reform school, Jack, that's my brother who's 16 took me to his room one
night and taught me everything he said I needed to know about sex to be
safe" the large boy admitted so softly it was hard to hear.  "Jack tried not
to hurt me much and he was a lot nicer to me than those guys in reform
school, but I still didn't like it much" Ben admitted.  "If you know how to
do things little guy, then most of the big guys won't hurt you too bad" Ben
explained as looked right at Chris.  Then suddenly Ben seemed to want to
change the subject and got very excited.  "Krisi I have to tell you that
you're extra special you know?" said Ben.  "Why?" Chris asked.  "I've never
heard or even seen anyone that could shoot `come' like you did Krisi.  I
heard if you've never `come' and you wait a really long time that something
like that can happen.  You must've needed to `come' for years and years,
Chris.  And your dick and balls are so much bigger than any other kids
anywhere close to our age" he went on.  "Be real careful Krisi, because if
the older guys find that out they'll mark you" Ben said in a very cold
voice.  "What does that mean?" asked Chris.  "It means that they'll wait
till no one is looking and then they'll snatch you when they get their first
chance and they'll hurt you bad, maybe rape you too" Ben continued.  "Rape?"
Chris asked.  "That's when they put their dicks up your butt hole.  It hurts
really really bad and most of the time you bleed.  I even heard you could
bleed to death if it's the worst big guys doing it" Ben went on.  Chris
thought about the doctors and nurses and teachers and principals.  Now he
had to worry about cops and lots of big guys and older men too?

The little boy started to cry again, but Ben dropped down beside him and
pulled the little boy against his chest protectively and just told him over
and over again that he was sorry if he hurt him and not to worry because he
loved his little guy and would always protect Chris no matter what.  Slowly
Chris calmed down and began to get sleepy.  "Ben?" Chris asked.  "What my
little guy?" the older boy said quietly.  "Is it ok with you if we don't do
this anymore? Maybe never again?" Chris pleaded with his big friend.  Ben
became very quiet and Chris was afraid that he might be mad at him, but
after a few minutes Ben seemed to sigh and hugged Chris even closer.  "I
said I love you Krisi and I wasn't kidding about that.  I always felt like
no one loved me, but my brothers showed me what they said love was and that
was ok even if it used to scare me a lot.  I promised myself last year that
if I ever loved someone I'd never hurt them like people hurt me, no matter
what I wanted.  I love you, but if you tell me we can never have a sleep
over again then I guess I have to say its ok" Ben explained.  Chris looked
up into his big friend's face and he saw a tear roll down the big boy's
cheek.  Chris was shocked.  That was another thing he didn't think that Ben
ever did -- was cry.  Chris wanted to take back what he had asked for, but he
remembered the doctors and other people touching him and what Ben had done,
and while it felt good most of the time, it reminded the little boy of all
the humiliation by the grown ups.  Beside that somewhere inside of Chris
what the two boys had done didn't feel right to the small boy.  What all the
adults had done to Chris over all the years didn't seem right either, but
Chris didn't know how to stop them.  He had tried one time to talk to his
dad about it, but the older man just ignored Chris and finally told him to
quit his whining.

Just as Chris was about to drop off to sleep Ben pulled him up so that the
two boys were on their sides facing one another.  Chris woke up completely
now, afraid that Ben had changed his mind and wanted to touch all his
private places again.  "Little guy.  I guess I never explained why I call
you that a lot instead of Krisi all the time" Ben explained. "It's because I
never had a little brother and that's what my older brothers always call me.
Then when you and I became friends I started pretending you were my little
brother.  That's when I started protecting you, because big brothers always
protect little brothers".  Chris just nodded his head.  He'd never had any
brothers or sisters, but what Ben was saying sounded right to Chris.
"Family loves each other, little guy.  I'm officially making you my little
brother from now on, not just my friend.  That way no one will think there's
anything wrong with us loving each other like that" said Ben.  Chris didn't
know about that since he had never heard about men or boys loving other men
or boys.  Even his grandfather never said he loved Chris, at least not that
Chris could remember.  It was his grandmother and occasionally his mother
that had told him they loved him.  With his parent's separation now his
mother seldom said she loved him anymore.  As Chris grew up his mother began
to give him looks more often that seemed to be the same way she used to look
at his dad.  "I love you, little guy.  I won't let anyone every hurt you
including me.  Not for any reason.  If that ever happens then I'll ask God
to strike me dead because your big brother promised to protect you and
failed.  When a guy doesn't keep his promises or when people who love you
fail to do their job right there has to be consequences" Ben said this like
he really meant it.  Chris didn't know what to say to the older boy.  Ben
seemed to want something from Chris, but Chris had no idea what that could
be or if it was even something Chris could give him.  Chris didn't feel like
he loved Ben.  Sure they were friends, even best friends, but still Chris
learned a long time ago that if you depend on other people they'll always
let you down.  While he did appreciate that Ben had protected him and while
he was no longer upset about what Ben felt Chris needed to learn tonight he
knew in his heart that he couldn't lie to Ben and say he loved him.  He
couldn't even agree they were family -- because he knew that wasn't true no
matter how much Ben wanted to make it so.

Still he needed to do something for his friend to let him know that he did
care for him.  The little boy sat up still naked next to his big naked
friend Ben and they stared at each other for what seemed a long time.  Then
Chris bent over and kissed Ben on the lips like his aunts and uncles and
some cousins always used to do to him back when they used to still see each
other.  Ben just froze there and got a very confused look on his face.  He
hardly seemed to be breathing.  What was wrong?  Did Chris do something
really bad?  Ben thought it was ok to for boys to love each other and ok to
play hard with each other's private parts and to hug and laugh and cry
together and even pick each other up naked and carry one another around, but
it wasn't ok to kiss each other?  Ben must have seen Chris' confused look
echoing his own and the fact that Chris was close to crying again.  Ben sat
up and hugged the little boy as close as he could; their two naked bodies
enmeshed once more.  This time no one's penis got hard.  "I love you too
bubba.  That's what my oldest brother calls me sometimes, the one who didn't
teach me about the sex stuff, but still says he loves me" Ben said.  "Listen
very carefully little guy because what I'm going to tell you is more
important than anything else I can ever teach you.  It's ok for men to do
what we did tonight -- if they keep it secret and don't go around telling
everyone about it.  That's because all men have urges and there ain't always
pretty girls around to satisfy those urges, like in jail or reform school or
late at night in your home when your folks don't let you have nobody over to
play with.  It's ok for men to love other men. I know that because my dad
says he loves me and my brothers both say they love me -- heck they do it all
the time so much it used to make me sick.  And there is no way that you
don't know this, but its ok for men to love any woman and as many women as
they want to -- you just never let them think they own you or you won't be
worth shit!  My brothers beat that message into my head a long time ago.
What's NOT OK is for men to be like men and women are together.  Men don't
love men like they love women -- that's what queers are.  In reform school
the queers were beat up worse than anyone else and some of them got killed
too.  One way you know queers is because they kiss each other.  You know
like men and women do and sometimes women kiss each other, but my mom said
that doesn't mean those women are gay, but you'll never see me ask to date
one that I see doing it!  I'm not mad at you Krisi; because I know you don't
know lots of things cause you have no brother and sisters to explain it to
you like I did.  Well I'm your big brother now so I am telling you straight.
MEN DON'T KISS EACH OTHER LIKE QUEERS -- REMEMBER THAT!  I'm no fag, little
guy!  I love you and protect you because you're my brother.  If you ever
want to do what we did tonight again, just ask me quiet like and I'll come
around real quick and help you out cause I know what it's like to have an
itch that needs someone to scratch it for you.  That's how my older brother
explained it to me.  I like you a lot, Krisi, you're amazing to be around
and lots of fun too.  I promise on my life to keep my word and protect you
because we're family, but you're not queer little guy and I'm not either.
If you ever think you might be getting queer you just come see me and I'll
teach you what my brother's taught me to keep that from happening.  Ok?"
Chris just nodded his head, but he really truly believed Ben -- everyone in
school anywhere in Texas new that queers were bad people.  And Chris never
wanted anyone to think he was a queer.

Once Ben seemed to think that Chris had received that message loud and clear
he lay back down in the bed.  When Chris didn't lie down too, Ben reach up
and pulled the naked little boy down next to him.  Ben wrapped his big arms
around Chris' naked body once more and for a brief moment his hand brushed
against Chris' penis, but almost as quickly it was removed and placed again
in the protective circle around the little boy.  "You're a quick learner
little guy. No more lessons now.  Just remember what your brother Ben taught
you and don't forget that I'm always watching over you.  If I don't keep my
promise then God has every right to see me punished right properly." Ben
gave the little boy a big squeeze and then with one arm and hand around
Chris the other hand came to rest on the boy's chest and patted him a couple
of times.  Within a few minutes Ben was snoring lightly so Chris knew the
older boy was asleep.  After a while Chris got up and crawled out of bed as
quietly as he could.  He walked over and picked up his white Jockey briefs
and quietly pulled them up his legs.  Then he found Ben's boxers and tiptoed
around to Ben's side of the bed.  He wasn't sure how to do this so he just
lightly brushed his hand against Ben's leg.  The older boy started at first
and Chris thought he might wake up but then the boy made a sigh and opened
his legs wider than they had been.  Chris placed the boxers over one foot
and then had to work hard to get Ben's legs close enough together so he
could put the other leg of the boxers over the other foot.  Ben hardly
seemed to notice or care than anyone was touching his naked body.  Chris
climbed into the bed and pulling up hard slowly worked the boxers over Ben's
legs and up toward his crotch.

Out of breath the little boy sat down for a moment facing his still mostly
naked friend.  Having an idea the boy pulled the front of the boxers up as
far as they would go till they were just below Ben's smaller penis and
balls.  Then Chris tried to pull Ben onto his side so that the older boy was
facing him.  This didn't work at first but then Ben seemed to understand
even in sleep what Chris needed and rolled onto his slide his arm even came
up and draped over Chris' shoulder.  Once again the little boy was afraid to
rouse the sleeping big boy and so he sat very still.  Suddenly Chris felt
something and looked down at his hands.  Ben's penis had fallen sideways and
was resting comfortably against Chris' hands. Having been warmed by the
touch of Chris' hands Ben's penis was starting to become erect again.  For
the first time in the little boy's life he just sat touching another other
boy's penis and watched it grow in quiet contemplation.  Ben had seemed so
hurt because Chris has refused to rub the older boy's penis.  Ben's penis
didn't look scary now in fact it didn't remind Chris of his humiliation
either because even while becoming erect it was still nothing like Chris'
penis.  Chris felt a moment of guilt for his friend and protector.  Quietly,
cautiously Chris reached out and slowly wrapped one hand around his friend's
dick.  With the other hand Chris slowly stroked the older boy's balls and
ball sac.  Even becoming erect Ben's penis felt warm and kind of soft unlike
how hard Chris' could become. Likewise Ben's balls and scrotum were also
smaller, softer and more pliable than Chris' genitals.  The little boy felt
a strange fascination for his friend's genitals and gradually a funny sense
of curiosity came over the boy.  He thought about everything Ben had done.
Ben had explained in no uncertain terms that what boys did together in this
manner wasn't wrong or queer, they were just satisfying each other's urges.


Feeling only some hesitation Chris continued to stroke Ben's balls and rub
the older boy's penis.  Softly Ben moaned and his hips began to move around
in small movements.  Chris could'nt do this if his friend woke up.  On some
level it still felt wrong and Chris knew he'd be too embarrassed to continue
if Ben knew what he was doing.  Gradually Chris began to pull up and down on
the penis just as he remembered Ben doing.  Ben's organ now became fully
erect -- or as erect as Ben could get a hardon Chris imagined.  It was still
softer than Chris' hardon when he was fully aroused.  After several minutes
Chris' arms began to get tired.  He stopped messaging Ben's ball sac, but
using both hands was also too hard for the little boy.  He was still
fascinated with what Ben's body seemed to be going through.  While Chris'
reaction had been so violent and unwieldy (except for what Ben had the power
to control), Ben's body rocked gently, freely as if Ben was in a light
dream.  Then an idea came to Chris, he remembered Ben's fascination with the
bottom of Chris' tummy right above the base of the penis.  It was hard for
Chris to see in the dim light especially with Ben facing him -- so Chris
stopped rubbing Ben and using both hands tried to slowly push the older boy
back on his back.  Ben's body silently obeyed the command and rolled back
over.

Chris waited, while Ben continued to breathe softly.  Now in the same
moonlight and street light Chris was finally able to see his friends fully
erect penis, tummy and balls.  Ben's penis looked different from Chris', but
Chris was having a hard time figuring out why.  Ben's penis seemed to jerk
on its own and then the tip with the pee hole poked out of a circle of
tightening skin.  Ben was uncircumcised, but of course Chris had no idea
what that meant.  Once more the little boy's curiosity of his friend's very
private anatomy conquered Chris' reluctance.  The little boy's hand
encircled the engorging tip of the other boy's penis and tightened his grip
cautiously.  The penis pushed away from Ben's body trying to stand on its
own.  Chris, with one hand on Ben's penis placed his other hand on the older
boy's abdomen just above the base of the penis and pushed down gently with
the heel of his hand while the fingers of that same hand put light pressure
around the base of the penis.  This was starting to feel too completed to
the tired little boy.  What Ben had done with quiet ease Chris was finding
hard to do not to mention exhausting.  Once more the little boy kept at it
and eventually Ben's penis was once again in rocking motion with the older
boy's hips and body.  This was a lot of work, thought Chris to himself.  How
Ben could stay asleep through all of this Chris had no idea but he was
grateful that his friend had remained that way.  Ben's movements became more
and more forceful although again never as violent as Chris' had been.  Just
before Chris thought that his arms would give out Ben's movement suddenly
stilled but his penis was again pushing upward hard against Chris' hand -- so
Chris used all his might and pushed down as hard as he could on Ben's tummy
while also stroking down hard of the shaft of Ben's penis and watching the
tip move upward ever so slowly.

Just as Chris' penis had done, Ben's showed little crystal like sparkles of
liquid that seemed to ooze out of the other boy's pee hole.  Reminding
himself as Ben had explained that this was not pee, but instead `come' or
`sturm' whatever that was.  Chris ignored his discomfort when the liquid
began to drip down over his hands.  Allowing his hands to become slowly
covered, Chris continued to pump the older boy's penis while keeping up the
direct pressure to the base of the penis and tummy.  Unlike Chris' penis the
skin around Ben's penis moved easily up and down the erect shaft, even
covering the top of the penis on each movement.  Again the rocking of Ben's
body started once more, but was never as forceful as they had been before.
Then something began to happen.  As with Chris the clear liquid seemed to
have spread over everything.  Chris didn't know what to do and also Ben's
penis started looking very red.  Had Chris' done that?  The little boy
didn't remember such things happening.  Chris was becoming worried about his
friend's penis.  Could Chris hurt Ben?  Ben had been very careful, he said,
to not hurt Chris.  When Ben's penis became so red especially at the tip,
Chris started to wonder if it could bleed, and now the clear liquid seemed
it would never stop.  Chris remembered how Ben took control of the little
boy's body when Chris became too violent, so Chris decided he had to do the
same for his friend.  Chris grabbed the tip of Ben's penis and squeezed as
hard as he could to stop the continued leaking of fluid and to prevent it
from getting any bigger or starting to bleed and also pushed his full weight
down on Ben's tummy.

Ben's reaction was sudden, violent and unexpected. Ben arched his back in
exactly the same way Chris had done.  Then the boy's hips shot up knocking
the smaller boy down.  Chris knew for certain that if he let Ben's body lose
control that his friend would be seriously hurt.  So Chris wrapped one arm
around Ben's waist, though it couldn't possibly reach all the way, and used
the other to continue to close off the top of the big boy's penis while also
pushing down on the shaft.  Suddenly Ben seemed to shout "Aghhh" and again
his penis and hips tried to soar into the air.  Fighting with all his small
might Chris gave everything to keep Ben's body from harming itself.  Then
the worst happened, Chris' hand slipped down the shaft of the now absolutely
huge boy's penis.  In fact Ben's penis looked almost as big as Chris' had
been -- even nearly as hard, at least that's how it looked to Chris.  Trying
to control as best he could Chris grabbed around the top of the older boy's
dick and tried to squeeze it into submission.  Ben shot up one last time
like a rocket and just as quickly the bigger boy's body slammed into the
mattress as Chris frantically pushed down.  Chris didn't understand what was
happening with ropes of bright hot liquid suddenly everywhere.  It was in
Chris' face, on both boys' chests; it was flying toward the ceiling even
spewing all across the bed linens.  Frantically Chris remembered that this
was about the time when Ben had told him that the little boy had to stop.
Seeing the continuing onslaught of liquid pulsing out of Ben's pee hole and
having never had formal instructions on how to do this -- Chris again grabbed
the hard organ and tried to squeeze the erect penis closed at the tip.  Ben
knew the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised boys, and easily
could have explained that the glans or tip of the penis is much more
sensitive to a boy with an intact foreskin but of course Chris knew none of
this and continued his forceful onslaught of the head of his friend's penis.
Chris was going to squeeze it closed or die trying.  The roaring noise that
escapes Ben's lungs shook the walls of the bedroom. With only his last
option Chris did like Ben had done and flung his nearly naked body on top of
his big friend.  Ben's penis is still stabbing upwards and feels like it
could impale Chris all the way through his groin, and then suddenly Ben's
massive erection slides between Chris' legs and Chris then wraps his arms
around his friend and clamps his legs hard together to hold his friend in
place as best as he can.

This final time both boys' bodies hit the mattress and all the air is pushed
out of the little boy's lungs. Ben's body is quivering and Chris can feel
his still erect penis jerking between Chris' legs.  Within minutes the older
boy's movements subside and total quiet is returned to the bedroom.  Chris
pushes up on his shoulders to look at his friend's face.  Ben's eyes are
still closed and his breathing is returning to normal.  That's just crazy,
thought the little boy!  How another human being could possibly sleep
through all that Chris had no idea, but a last time he murmurs a quiet thank
you to his friend for not humiliating him.  Chris carefully climbs off of
Ben's large body.  The clear sticky stuff is everywhere.  Chris' briefs are
a mess and Ben's boxers are also a disaster and look like they may have even
torn since they were still around Ben's legs when this all started.  Chris
stands up and pulls off his briefs.  Turning them inside out the boy uses
them to clean the sticky clearish liquid off his face chest and body.  Then
Chris throws them towards the corner of the room where other dirty clothes
are dumped.  Chris struggles to pull off Ben's boxers and then also turn
them inside out and wipe what liquid he finds off Ben's face chest, legs and
torso, although from the cleanup Chris can tell that more liquid hit him
than appeared to hit Ben -- was that what happened to Ben when the liquid was
shooting out of Chris?  Only Ben's testes and penis are still slicked down
with the glistening liquid.  Chris remembers again all that Ben did to clean
him up without hurting him.  Ben licked up all the liquid on Chris, but
Chris didn't think he could do that for Ben, still... The little boy bends
down and puts his face exactly over the center of Ben's now mostly normal
sized penis.  Thinking back Chris closes his eyes and draws as deep a breath
of the smells of his friend's body as possible.  The boy thought it should
be a bathroom like odor the same as all the other nasty stuff that comes
from the same areas of the body.  The little boy was surprised actually
because the odors are very faint.  Is that because they are still little
boys and they don't yet have the bodies of full grown men? Once more Chris
draws in a deep breath and then suddenly his face touched Ben's penis.
Startled the little boy's eyes shoot open, and he is afraid.  He remembers
that Ben was very careful when touching Chris' delicate penis afterwards and
how Ben used his mouth to message the tender organ until it was calmed
again.  Chris carefully pulls his face back off Ben's penis and slowly wipes
the sticky fluid off his face and then looks down at his wet hand.  He
sniffs at his hand -- and again the odors are faint, a kind of animal like
scent.  He remembers one of the teachers talking about animals and scent and
explaining about the smell of something called `musk'.  Is that mild odor
what a man or at least a boy's `musk' would smell like?  While not something
he would want to smell all the time it doesn't repulse him either like he
thought pee or pee-like stuff would.  Ben groans quietly -- his friend might
awaken and Chris needs to finish.  The little boy slowly kneels beside his
much larger friend and prepares to put his mouth around Ben's still wet
penis.  Closing his eyes and opening his mouth he leans in to take the much
smaller organ in.  His tongue falls out of his mouth and the tip of his
tongue comes into contact with Ben's wet penis.  Fighting back the urge to
vomit and all the voices in his head that tell him this is wrong and
repulsive Chris' lips start to close.

"STOP" Ben commands. In one very swift frightening movement the bigger boy
wraps both hands around both of Chris' shoulders.  The little boy's eyes fly
open as big as saucers.  Ben is awake -- and looking angry.  Again while
looking directly into the little boy's eyes Ben says "Stop.  I don't want
you to do that, Krisi!  You won't like it.  At least not the first time, or
the second and maybe never. I don't want to have to clean up my little
brother's vomit off this stupid wet bed" the big boy explains.  Suddenly
Ben's face softens and ever so slowly a huge smile spreads across the 12
year old boy's face.  Ben reaches down with one hand and taking a corner of
the sheet wipes wetness off the little boy's face and then wipes all the
other wetness off his own genitals and groin.  Casting the sheet aside he
once more positions the younger boy facing him and the smile fades as he
lets his gaze burn into Chris' face.  "Did I hurt you?" the older boy asks
in a stern voice.  Chris shakes his head `no'.  "Why?" Ben asks barely above
a whisper.  Chris thinks for only a moment before dropping his head and
whispering back "Because you needed it.  I could tell you wanted me to and
you were hurt when I wouldn't do it" the little boy admits reluctantly.  One
of Ben's big fingers reaches below the little boy's face and gently pushes
his head up until he is once more looking deeply into Ben's hazel eyes.  The
bigger boy's eyes seem to mist and single tears flow down both cheeks at
once.  Now Chris' heart falls into his stomach.  He has hurt Ben's feelings
again despite everything he tried to do.  Seeing that the little boy is
nearing tears for probably the seventh time that night, Ben slowly but
inexorably draws the tiny boy's body deep into his own. Ben lays both
himself and his tiny friend back down so gradually that Chris starts to
wonder if they weren't lying down all along.  Both naked boys are once again
face to face, chest to chest, groin to groin -- well actually since Ben is so
much bigger Chris' face is really in Ben's neck and Chris' genitals are
mostly against the lower part of Ben's abdomen, except for the little boy's
long penis which while hanging down is most definitely touching Ben's penis
too.

Ben pulls Chris toward his side and again like before brushes loving strokes
with his big hand down the little boy's chest, abdomen and groin before
bringing it up and using it to once more lift the tiny boy's chin so they
are again face to face.  "Little guy, you didn't need to do any of that.  I
already promised I wouldn't force you to do that" Ben said.  "It's ok, big
brother.  I really don't mind this one time.  Besides people who love each
other have to care for one another.  Isn't that what you were saying?" the
littlest boy asked.  Again a tear rolled down the big boy's cheek and he
sighed a deep sounding thing that seemed to release something pent up in the
bigger boy's chest, "That isn't exactly what I said, Krisi.  I was
explaining that families take care of each other and that men have urges
that sometimes other men help them out with, but I know you don't want to
help that way and that's ok."  Ben had briefly looked away but now turned
back to face the little boy, "I love you little guy, but I don't want you to
ever again feel like you need to do that for me.  I only want you to do it
if it's something you really want to do for me, or if you want to ask me to
do it again for you.  Is that understood?"   Chris just nodded his head.  He
was never going to understand any of this, that much was apparent to him
now.

"I'm sorry Ben that I wasn't any good at it.  I'm sorry I'm such a
disappointment to you" the little boy sobbed.  Ben's eyes flew wide and he
started to shake and then again there were tears in his eyes but this time a
huge grin was spreading over his face and then suddenly he began laughing --
so loud and long that Chris was afraid Ben might wake his drunk father yet
again.  But that would never happen, as drunk as his father was tonight he
wouldn't even wake up by the time Chris and Ben went to school or even later
than that.  Slowly Ben calmed down and then hugged the little boy fiercely
so many times that Chris thought he would pass out.  "Krisi, you were never
a disappointment.  In fact it was all I could do to be still and keep my
eyes closed until I was certain that you were done playing your little game"
Ben chortled.  "YOU WERE AWAKE THE WHOLE TIME?" Chris shouted.  "Of course
you little mouse, how could any guy possibly sleep through all that stuff
you were doing to me?" Ben laughed again.  Now Chris was really embarrassed.
Ben was awake?  The entire time?  Ben just hugged the little boy tighter
again. "I remember what it was like to be curious, so I played along because
I just thought you wanted to understand what another boy is really like" Ben
replied, then went on to say "I was confused about the need for underwear at
first, but other than that nothing you did was really wrong until you nearly
broke my dick at the end!"

His eyes growing wide, Chris was horrified "I broke your dick?" he cried.
Ben reached down and slowly pulled the foreskin away from the top of his
penis.  Sure enough the tip was still very red and there were tiny scratch
marks around the top. "You need to cut those fingernails little guy" Ben
lectured.  Mortified the little boy just stared at the tips of his fingers -
sure enough the longer than normal nails were evident.  His mom always made
him keep the nails cut short, but at his dad's place no one really cared.
"One more piece of advice little guy. Never ever grab then end of a guy's
uncircumcised dick like that just when he is about to `come'!  If you had
just let go I'd have been fine" Ben said.  "But that's what you did for me
when it was my turn Ben.  You said I needed to stop and held me really tight
too" Chris gushed.  "Little guy, you'd never jacked off before.  It was
something your body has wanted to do for a very long time.  You should've
done that a long time ago because your dick and balls have grownup faster
than all the rest of the boys in our class.  And there're lots of them
jacking off pretty often. You weren't used to what you were feeling and your
little body was flying all over the place.  I just held you down so you
didn't fall off and hurt yourself or hit a hard part of the bed.  Then when
you wouldn't stop shooting `come' I knew I had to calm you down or you'd get
stomach aches real bad -- like when someone kicks you in the nuts really
hard.  I never ever tried to crush that big dick of yours when you were
`coming'."  Now that Chris thought back on it -- that did seem to make sense.
"I'm sorry Ben.  Sorry that I hurt your dick like that" Chris meekly
responded.  "Don't worry about it little guy.  I've been hurt a whole lot
worse than that, believe me.  Hurt so bad a couple of times that I had to
see the doctors" Ben said.  "No fooling?  What'd they do about it?" Chris
asked.  "It was while I was still in reform school.  I was raped, hard.  I
was bleeding pretty badly too.  The doc sewed me up and put lots of cream on
different places and then sent me back" the older boy explained as he
shrugged his naked shoulders.  "They didn't punish the guys who did that to
you?" Chris asked.  "Hell no little guy, those people at the reform school
don't care.  They just forget that stuff as soon as you walk out the door.
The only time it's different is when you go to a hospital outside.  Those
hospital people have laws they've got to follow so sometimes that gets
people mad enough to check it out" Ben continued.

Ben placed his arms above his head and then stretched out comfortably on the
mattress and after a sigh eased his legs apart a ways too.  After a while he
reached down and adjusted his penis and balls then putting his hands over
his head again he exhaled loudly and seemed to relax even more.  Chris was
not upset any longer and not frightened of his big friend anymore either.
The little boy sat up and getting on his knees knelt a final time over Ben's
waist. Chris looked down at Ben's genitals and then slowly walked his sight
up the bigger boy's abdomen and chest once more staring at the developing
hair in his arm pits.  Chris started to reach out and touch the other boy's
adult hair and then stopped.  "It's ok Krisi.  I don't mind.  You can do
anything you want to just not with those claws of yours and absolutely NO
KISSING" the older boy extolled.  Feeling confident once more Chris reached
out and gently touched the other boy's arm pit hair.  His confidence hitting
an all time high -- he then tugged sharply on an unusually long hair. "Ouch --
you little devil, that hurt!  I said anything you want to -- that doesn't
include torture".   Chris reached down and then played lightly with the
little hairs that were quickly developing around his penis.  Ben leaned
forward and touched the little boy in the same way and said "Man that is
really amazing little guy.  You will always be the envy of all the guys
around you" then Ben stopped and lay down once more stretching out again to
completely expose his body for Chris' curiosity. Both boys continued in this
manner, Ben mostly laying still and Chris further exploring and touching
both their bodies to compare his to Ben's and learn all about the
differences.

After a little longer Ben patted the bed beside him to indicate it was time
to go to sleep.  One last time Ben pulled the little boy into his bigger
body with his big arms wrapped protectively around Chris.  This time there
was no more touching of body parts.  Both boys had finally satisfied all
their curiosity and neither boy felt any special `urges' anymore or if they
did they decided not to tell each other about them. Slowly Chris began to
fall to sleep nestled in Ben's protective embrace.  Then a thought shattered
the little boy's solitude and he sat up quickly turning around to face Ben
again.  Ben had not been asleep -- he was staring directly into Chris' eyes.
"I'm going to get bigger with more hair aren't I Ben?" the little boy asked
fearfully.  Recognizing the source of his little friend's fear, Ben once
more pulled the tiny boy into his embrace pulling Chris' back up firmly
against his broad chest and then gently Ben lay his much larger head onto
Chris' shoulder and turned his face to Chris' ear.  The big boy blow air out
of his mouth into Chris' ear and rubbed the tip of his nose back and forth
lightly across the edge of Chris ear and around and through his dishwater
blonde hair around the same ear.  Chris giggled and said "Quit it, Ben that
tickles.  Stop it, STOP" The big boy hugged the little one even closer and
quietly said into his ear, "Already you forget little guy.  I love you.  I
won't abandon you.  I'll never leave you.  I'll always watch over you and
protect you or God will punish me if I fail to do exactly what I've promised
you that I will do."  Chris suddenly became very tired and slowly drifted
off to sleep completely protected in Ben's tender care.

The little boy had no nightmares that night about bullies or doctors and the
next morning Ben had already gotten up, washed and dressed himself and sat
on the bed next to Chris watching over the little boy as he slept.  No
longer shy around Ben.  Chris sat up naked and briefly turned around to
smile at Ben.  The older boy was watching his body, he understood that, but
somehow for the first time in his life it no longer seemed to bother Chris,
nor would his naked body in the casual settings around such places at school
bother the boy as much in the future as it had been in the past and
eventually not at all.  Boys naked around each other isn't anything special,
Chris knew that now.  He went to wash up and just as he walked back in the
room he saw Ben putting underwear into his backpack.  While he was bent over
Chris realized that Ben wasn't wearing his boxers.  Of course not they were
destroyed last night weren't they?  Worried that his dad might find his
dirty ones and ask questions Chris quickly looked around for the soiled
clothing.  Ben turned back, "What are you looking for little guy?"  "I just
wanted to throw away my underwear" Chris said shyly, "I was afraid someone
might find them and ask me questions about them."  Ben got that big grin on
his face and said "I already took care of that little guy.  No need to worry
about anything, but if you don't finish soon we'll miss our bus."  Chris
quickly grabbed his backpack and then turned around to watch Ben stoop over
to pick his up.  Just as he did so Chris saw of flash of something white
that Ben quickly pushed inside the backpack.  Was that Chris' dirty Jockey
briefs?  Why would Ben want Chris' soiled undies?  Turning back around Ben
said "Time to go little guy."   The two boys walked out the front door just
in time to make the bus.

For the rest of that semester and well into the next one Ben continued to
watch out for Chris.  It was no time at all before Chris was no longer
bullied by anyone; the fact that Ben would beat the crap out of such a jerk
became common knowledge at their school and elsewhere that the two boys went
together.  At the same time Chris began a growth spurt and the rest of his
body seemed to be in a rush to catch up with his more grownup adult parts.
Ben was his constant companion and even though both boys slept over at each
other's homes a lot, Ben never again touched Chris in the same manner as he
had on that first night, though Chris knew Ben would watch his body all the
time, with or without clothes.  At the bathroom at school or at their homes
if no one was around Ben would obviously watch Chris' genitals while both
boys urinated.  Chris also looked casually at Ben's to take note of how the
bigger boy also began to catch up to the smaller one in ways that seemed
important to Ben.  Chris figured that Ben was just keeping track of how he
was growing compared to Chris so the smaller boy never minded.  Chris
understood competition between boys -- it was just like sports which he was
growing to like more and more all the time now that he was getting big
enough.

On two other occasions something did happen.  One time at Ben's house after
the boys went to bed; Ben said he was taking off his boxers.  Chris wasn't
disturbed because he trusted Ben and had known for some time that Ben really
preferred to sleep naked and often had those `urges' that Ben had first
explained to Chris that men get and boys too.  Ben told Chris that he knew
the younger boy wasn't jacking off and explained that he believed this might
cause Chris some problems later in life.  Chris had been having wet dreams
and despite what Ben had said Chris had found some pornography in the living
room when his dad was out one time and hid it in his bedroom and had begun
to use it to jack off on rare occasions.  Chris was always afraid of getting
caught by his father.  He doubted his dad would care about him jacking off,
after all he was constantly seeing his father having sex with different
women all the time, but he was worried about a beating if his dad realized
Chris has stolen his pornographic magazine.  Chris sat in his briefs and
watched his older friend as Ben explained what boys were supposed to do.
Ben apparently felt that first time wasn't real training just an exercise in
getting some much needed relief.  Under his breath Chris just chuckled and
pretended to be interested in it all.  Seeing Ben aroused and even watching
the bigger boy ejaculate held no real interest for Chris nor did it arouse
any `urges' in him either.  Ben may have been disappointed but if so he
didn't say so to Chris.  Just as Ben climaxed Chris heard a noise and turned
to see that someone was peeking through Ben's bedroom door -- Chris had heard
the door knob as it turned to open the door slightly.  When Ben saw what
Chris was looking at he jumped up and threw himself at the door and yanked
it open.  There stood 16 year old Jack smirking at Ben.  Ben's oldest
brother was no where in sight.  Ben shouted "What the Hell, Jack. Quit
sneaking around my room and don't you dare mess with Chris or I'll knock
your lights out you shit faced whore!"   Jack leaned against the door frame
and threw his hands up in a mock signal of surrender, "Hey little guy, no
worry, I was just watching out for you little people.  You know I love you
and I'd never hurt you little guys."  Jack was an enormous teenager at least
50 lbs. bigger than Ben and for the first time Chris noticed that Jack had a
huge bulge running down the inside of his faded and torn jeans leg and a
smaller set of bulges to the side of that.  Yep, no doubt about it Jack was
close to Chris in private dimensions or possibly even bigger and right now
it was obvious that the older teen was getting aroused.  None of this was
lost on Ben who was still standing in the doorway naked with ejaculate
dripping down his penis and leg.  Jack reached down and ran his finger
across his younger brother's inside upper thigh and then drew his hand under
his nose and sniffed.  "Hey little guy this actually has sperm now.  That's
the white stuff you know.  You need to start more regular treatments to keep
that working properly" Jack snickered at his brother.  Then making certain
that Chris was watching Jack slowly put his wet dripping finger in his mouth
and groaned deeply as he swallowed Ben's semen. Ben raged at his brother and
slammed the door knocking the older boy out into the hallway.  Ben leaned
against the door in case Jack tried to force it open again, then slowly
collapsed against it and sank to the floor breathing heavily and sobbing
quietly.  Chris got up and walked over to Ben and pulled the naked bigger
boy up and with Ben's back to Chris' growing chest the younger boy wrapped
his now larger arms around his friend and hugged him tightly, just like
brothers are supposed to do for each other.  Hugging didn't bother Chris
anymore -- unless it was from adults.  Ben quit crying and simply squeezed
Chris' arms back then pushed them away and stalked back to his clothes
pulling them on.  "Get dressed, Krisi, we're staying at your place from now
on" Ben said.  Without complaint Chris pulled his jeans over his briefs and
pulled on the T Shirt and sneakers too.  When the boys entered Chris'
apartment that he lived in with his dad, there was the old man naked on the
sofa with the TV still blaring and some naked whore draped drunk across his
lap.  The woman woke up hearing the noise and looked at the two boys.  She
chuckled and asked "Either of you boys need to have any `urges' met?"  Chris
and Ben exchanged shocked looks especially since her words sounded like the
woman knew of previous conversations the boys had had.  Without replying
both boys ran to Chris' bedroom and slammed the door shut.  Chris looked to
his friend to see if he was aroused, which he wasn't then shaking their
heads both boys pulled off their street clothes and crawled into bed without
further incident.

The only other incident of note that Chris remembered was when Chris had
helped a neighbor and her young son plant some flowers outside their next
door apartment by the patio.  The neighbor had always liked Chris and told
him that she appreciated the help and thought sometime Chris could play
video games with her son.  The boy was at least three years younger than
Chris and Chris realized he was painfully shy.  Chris said that he had to do
some chores around his apartment before his dad got home but told the boy to
come by later if he was still interested in playing.  Chris walked off but
mentioned that their apartment door was always unlocked if someone was home.
That was because his dad was always too drunk to remember to lock it.  Just
the same Chris remembered to make sure he left it unlocked after walking in
the door.  Chris finished his chores early and walked back to his bedroom to
pull out the video game system.  Looking out the window he realized it was
starting to get dark.  It was too late for the neighbor boy to come over so
Chris sat on the bed and heard the telltale rustle of the porno magazine
under the mattress.  He pulled it out and immediately opened to the
centerfold.  Rubbing his jean's fly and already feeling his penis getting
erect, Chris quickly removed all his clothes and stretched out on the
mattress.  After a while he laid the magazine down and closed his eyes and
slowly jacked himself off.  Chris had learned now how to slowly make his
dick harder and harder over many minutes while stretching his large hardon
back and forth and caressing his scrotum (something he learned from Ben that
one night).  Groaning ever louder he realized that he was getting closer and
closer to finishing what he started.  The precum was flowing freely now
making his big organ slick and shiny or so he imagined if he had been
looking.  Constantly changing the position of the naked female porno star in
his head he got almost to the point of shooting his load when he heard a
small gasp.  Gradually Chris opened his eyes holding his penis still and
looked around the dimly lit bedroom in trepidation.  Sure enough there in
the doorway stood the young neighbor boy.  Shocked but not wanting to
frighten the boy further Chris frantically thought of what to do.  If the
boy ran screaming out of the apartment the whole world would know what
happened by the next day.  Calming himself Chris continued to hold his
erection that desperately wanted release, and then he looked at the 9 year
old frozen in the doorway again.  The boy's eyes were riveted to Chris'
massive shining organ and his mouth had fallen open with the all too
familiar `O'.  Without a second thought Chris said to the boy, "Have the
older boys shown you how to jack off yet?"  The nine year old shook his head
slowly from side to side without once taking his eyes off Chris' erection.
"It's ok.  I don't mind if you watch, just sit in the chair by the desk and
don't say anything" Chris outlined and then thinking "Also don't you ever
tell anyone what I show you or you'll be in big trouble" the bigger boy
threatened.  The little boy complied quickly and almost jumped into the
chair by the desk.  Ignoring the younger boy Chris continued to work his
hardon back and forth.  It was difficult to concentrate with a stranger boy
in the room watching.  Chris' naked body no longer disturbed him but still
he didn't go around showing it off like this to just anyone that dropped by.
He briefly peeked out his eyelids and saw the little boy still frozen in the
chair mesmerized by Chris' enormous cock.  Well Ben had always said that it
was all the other guys would talk about forever, so the older boy decided to
continue to ignore his young audience.  Eventually Chris became more aroused
than he had in a long time and when the ejaculate finally erupted from his
massive spewing organ it came out over and over in long ropy waves hitting
him, the headboard, and likely the desk too.  Since that first night that
Ben had given Chris his first experience of release he hadn't shot a load
again as big as that until tonight for some reason.  Oh God he thought `the
desk'. Chris opened his eyes and looked straight at the chair -- it was
empty.  Sure enough a long thin trail of semen had been flung across the
room and had hit the side of the chair immediately beside where the young
boy had been sitting.  Apparently the boy had run out just in time since it
looked like the liquid on the chair was undisturbed.  The next day Chris
worried about the small boy, but his mother was just as friendly to Chris as
ever and when Chris looked again he saw the little boy peek out the door, so
he waved and said "Hi".  The mother told the boy to quit being shy and come
out to say `hello' to Chris.  Reluctantly the boy obeyed his mother but kept
his eyes on the floor as she and Chris spoke, "Honestly I don't know what
has gotten into him today" the neighbor complained.  Chris finally knelt
down and smiled up at the little boy and said "It's Ok, I used to be shy
just like you.  Don't worry about it."  He tried to project calm comfort to
the little guy, then corrected himself for thinking of the young boy the
same way Ben had thought of Chris.  The shy boy seemed to still be afraid so
Chris started to walk off.  He turned around just before entering his
apartment and looked back next door to see the boy entering their apartment
behind his mother. Briefly the boy turned around and Chris thought his head
was still bowed but then Chris realized that the kid was actually staring at
his crotch.  Chris just shook his head and smiled as he chuckled to himself
and then walked inside.  Until Chris met Max and with the exception of
physical exams by medical staff or school personnel Chris never had another
experience with any boys or men that he remembered just now.

One last time Chris thought of Ben and tried to remember the last time he
had seen his best friend and protector.  "NO STOP, YOU HAVE TO GO BACK!
FORGET HIM!" the voice, his voice, screamed at him uncontrollably.  Suddenly
his sight dimmed and Chris felt his legs go weak, he desperately grabbed for
anything and crashed against the living room wall. "Chrisy!" a faint voice
shouted at him.  And then everything went dark.  He was in either 6th grade
or 7th grade now -- his body was much bigger now he knew instinctively, but
now, just now, he felt tiny and helpless and he was shivering, his clothes
were all torn up. He was frightened and crying.  Men, adults with gruff
voices were talking and swearing nearby and he smelled cigarette smoke,
heavy on the night air.  His arms had been forced behind his back and
something was binding them there.  He couldn't feel his hands anymore and
his arms were aching from the strain.  He was looking at the ground and he
had no shoes on and his feet were filthy.  Where was this?  He looked around
briefly not wanting to attract the attention of the big men smoking nearby.
He knew instinctively to fear these men.  They were at an old gas station
and across the street was a school sport's stadium; the kind you see at
smaller schools like junior highs or middle schools, few if any grade
schools had complexes like that but it certainly wasn't large enough for a
high school.  He was crying harder now with tears flowing ceaselessly down
his face, he had no way of hiding his fear or his shame from anyone.  He
barely peeked up and suddenly realized that the two adult men who were still
smoking had stopped talking and had started to look directly at him.
Electricity shot through the boy making him nearly fall down -- so great was
his fear now.  Desperate to find any form of shelter he frantically searched
for help anywhere around him.  And then just as suddenly he recognized his
friend, Ben, up against a lamp post on the other side of the white car.
Ben's arms were behind his back too just like Chris, but now Chris could see
and realized that someone had put handcuffs on Ben and cuffed him to the
lamp post so he couldn't get away.

"RUN! FORGET!  FLY AWAY -- YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM! SAVE YOURSELF! HE FAILED" the
voice, again his voice, was shouting so loud in the boy's head that he
thought surely his brain must explode from the force of it.  But the boy
couldn't help himself, he had to see the truth and so he looked up and his
eyes met those of his best friend, his protector Ben.  Their eyes met and
locked on each other.  No, this wasn't Ben, it couldn't be.  This boy was
shaking, he was crying just as bad as Chris was.  The tears were streaming
now down his face and he was sobbing so hard it looked like he might not be
able to continue breathing.  Ben sight drifted away from Chris, if he had
even seen him at all.  He started to sag lifelessly away from the pole and
began to fall.  "BEN!"   "Please somebody save him!  BEN!" the boy screamed
at the top of his lungs.  He no longer cared who noticed him; he had to save
Ben, his friend, his protector.  Suddenly the bigger boy, who now seemed to
be smaller somehow maybe no longer still bigger than Chris, seemed to rouse
himself.  "BEN!" the boy screamed again and thought the very shout would
rupture his vocal cords.  His throat ached to match his arms.  The other boy
now jerked upward as if someone had kicked him hard driving his body up.
Ben's eyes snapped open and he seemed dazed, but still he searched his
surroundings.  "BEN!"  "RUN BEN!  GET AWAY NOW!  PLEASE DON'T STAY FOR ME!"
The older boy's eyes immediately locked on the younger boy.  "Chris?" he
rasped.  The boy was obviously exhausted.  He must have fought frantically
when the men caught him.  "Ben" Chris sobbed the energy now had almost
exhausted him too, now that Ben was safe from collapse.  Run?  Why did he
tell Ben to run?  The boy was locked to a lamp pole -- there's no way he
could have run.  And then it happened; the adults -- the big men smoking
began to laugh loudly and then jeer and shake their heads at the younger
boy.  "Run?" one of the men laughed.  "Where to you little thief?" he
snickered.  Then the smaller big man started to walk toward Chris and the
boy wanted to just curl into a tiny ball and disappear -- to hide from these
fearful men.  But there was nowhere to go. The boy was bound.  If he has
taken so much as 2 steps the much bigger men would be on him that instant.

Suddenly as the men drew closer Chris gasp and cried "STAY AWAY!" The man
stopped briefly but then just laughed harder, but Ben had heard Chris' cry.
"YOU GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKERS!  YOU LEAVE THE LITTLE GUY ALONE!  I SWEAR, YOU
SO MUCH AS TOUCH HIM AND I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!"  The frightened Ben was no
where to be seen any longer.  This was his best friend, the younger boy's
protector and constant companion.  Ben smashed his body up and against the
lamp post so that he could stand on the tips of his toes to see over the car
and to watch out for his younger friend.  "KRISI.  CHRIS, DID THEY HURT YOU?
DID THEY TOUCH YOU?" the older boy shouted as he once again began to cry,
the tears again streaming freely down his face.  "I DON'T REMEMBER BEN!"
Chris shouted back.  "WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER BUBBA?" Chris begged his big
brother.  ---BUBBA--- the word echoed again in his mind.   Ben slowly began
to wilt once more.  He was beginning to babble something almost incoherently
now.  "No no, he's just a little kid.  He didn't do anything, please, please
do it to me.  He's innocent.  Please don't hurt the little guy."  Then the
words became so much harder to hear and they seemed to fade into a distance,
an unknown distance.  "I'm so sorry Krisi, sorry, sorry, I tried, I tried,
tried but failed.  I couldn't stop them little guy.  Please God do it now.
I can't watch it again -- not when it's my little guy this time.  PLEASE GOD
KILL ME NOW!" Ben screamed at the heavens and then he collapsed downward.
Chris could barely make out the boy's handcuffed arms raised at an
impossible angle against the base of the light post. Ben's body and face
were now hidden behind the fading white car that was quickly vanishing in
heavy dark fog.  And then he heard them.  So distinct -- like they were right
beside him now.  One man snickered, "Hey your kind of one of those pretty
boys aren't you -- you little thief". The other man laughed deeply, wickedly.
And then terror shot through every fiber of the boy's being as if to attempt
and blow him into pieces, `and a large rough hand smacked hard against the
inside of his thigh and the voice asked "Do you remember? Did we ever search
this little thief?"  The last thing the younger boy heard was an answering
laugh that seemed to go on and on and on, forever.  ---BUBBA--- the last
time he will ever hear Ben call him that again or him call Ben just so...

"Bubba!" Max is crying and for some reason and he is holding Chris in his
arms, but both men are lying on the ground although Max is sitting somewhat
in order to keep Chris from collapsing completely to the floor.  "Maxi?" the
16 year old weakly replies.  "Oh god, Chrisy, I was so scared.  You seemed
to fall against the wall there and then all of a sudden you jerked straight
up and screamed `BEN!'" Max explained.  "Are you alright now, Chrisy, what
happened to Ben, bubba?"  The younger man slowly collapsed into the older
man's arms.  Arms around him that were protecting him just like before.  He
couldn't help it, he began to sob weakly, but the memories were being walled
up again.  `forget' that voice sighed into the distance.  "Bubba?" Max
hugged him tightly again.  The same embrace his head in Chris' shoulder.
"Please bubba, please won't you tell me what happened to you?" Max begged.
Chris relaxed completely into his friend's arms, he was crying now, the 2
boys and the girls outside totally forgotten now.  Again the arms crushed
the boy against another's chest as if they could hold and protect him
forever.  The memory was almost gone now, almost all of it.  The tears began
to dry.  Again Max pleaded one final time, "What did they do to you, Chrisy?
Dear god in heaven, you have to tell me?" the young man begged so fiercely
that it almost broke the boy's heart.  No more tears now.  I'm safe.  It
doesn't matter anymore.  ---BUBBA--- Chris turned around, "Did you say
something Maxi?"  Max's eye were wet like he had been crying and Chris felt
guilty because he knew that he had most likely caused that hurt.  Still
gazing into Max's eyes the boy saw several things there now that he didn't
remember seeing in the past.  The first was a look of utter defeat as if
someone had beaten Max to the ground and would never let him get back up,
but there was also something dark and smoldering and it made Chris quiver
again in fear -- familiar fear -- it was rage, dark angry rage, something the
boy had seen so often in his drunken father's eye just prior to each and
every beating.  Then Max seemed to freeze while he returned Chris' gaze -- as
if he recognized the fear radiating from the boy -- and the third and final
feeling that was so different from anything Chris had ever seen in Max's
eyes before.  Acceptance.  Chris thought he might have seen something like
this before, once or twice, in fleeting moments when Max didn't think Chris
had caught the special look.  And Max began to collapse into himself and the
arms holding the boy lost much of their strength.  The boy's sight had
dropped to the weakening arms but Chris looked up again into those hazel
eyes, so different from his own.  At times a light brown that seemed to
shine at other times deep dark and brooding almost black -- eyes that saw
everything and shared nothing.  No, these eyes were now a gentle brown like
the light colored Texas soil, abiding, enduring, and nourishing what they
can for as long as they can.  And then again something in the eyes changed
and again the strength had come back to the arms -- they drew the boy closer
-- deeper into the hard metal eyes -- for some reason, while fearful, these
eyes didn't frighten the boy like the ones that were sometimes black.  "WHO
IS BEN?" a firm resolved unforgiving voice came from the older man's throat.
Who are you? The boy thought to himself.  "TELL ME! NOW!" the steel voice
and eyes command -- there was no way out of this -- no escape "WHO IS BEN I
SAID!" it was not quite a shout, not intended to frighten the boy, but it
did. -- no escape -  they boy was held by the steel gaze of those hard dark
brown eyes.  And then in a final instant a flash in the eyes that the boy
recognized again.  Acceptance.  Commitment.  Judgment.  The look you see in
the eyes of authority just before the sentence is passed.  ---BUBBA---  `I
failed'

"It's ok Maxi.  I'm ok.  Ben was my best friend in 5th grade, but you don't
need to worry about him.  He's dead."  Chris' words echoed in his mind.  He
didn't know for certain if the words had been his but just looking, as he
had the entire time, into the steel hard brown eyes he saw the difference.
The eyes grew wide, impossibly wide.  So much white was showing that the
brown had faded to tan.  And then Max started to shake.  But his arms
crushed the boy against him, frantic now, crushing the air from the big
boy's body.  Chris had prided himself on being an athlete for a number of
years now.  Never again would anyone call him a little guy.  `little guy'
what was so familiar about that phrase? Max was holding him and shaking as
if the older man was sobbing.  "Maxi?  Can we get off the floor now?" Chris
asked.  In an instant the shaking stopped.  The taller man stood up then,
but tears were indeed on his face, but had stopped.  "I want you lie down
for few minutes, Chrisy.  Will that be Ok?" Max asked.  "Yea, that might be
nice, Max.  I feel kind of dizzy for some reason."

Max walked the boy to his bedroom and watched over him as the strong virile
young man crawled into his bed.  "What about Jason, Ted and Emily?" Chris
queried.  "You don't need to worry about them.  I'll tell them that you felt
a little sick and asked to lie down for a moment but you'll get back up in a
little while.  Trust me, Chrisy, I think I can find enough around here to
keep those kids entertained for that long" Max said.  "Ok" Chris replied.
And then his eyes felt heavy and he couldn't stop them closing.  The last
thing he saw from a slit in his eyes was Max reaching out and brushing the
strong boy's dishwater brownish/blonde colored bangs out of his eyes.  Why
does that feel so nice, the boy thought to himself?  Did I forget something
again?  That was his final thought and then the strong young man, so sure in
himself, able to defend himself whenever he wanted -- a young man who didn't
need anything or anyone, just quietly drifted off into a deep dreamless
sleep.  The older man waited until he was certain the boy was sound asleep.
"Chris?" he asked quietly.  The boy made no response.  The older man quietly
walked out of the room and then shut the door to the guest bedroom -- that
was no longer for guests, so quietly it didn't make a sound.

*** End of # 3 ***

Continued...

Footnotes:

*         Dear Readers: I can be a sympathetic author at this time of life,
so I give you my promise.  Anyone reading these stories can feel free to
write to me at any time and ask if a specific `individual' occurrence or
situation is entirely factual, fictional, or some of both.  You may not ask
for names, dates, descriptions, locations or anything that could or would
permit a reader to identify a character or characters from my stories.  I
will tell you right now that there is more fact here than fiction, whether
you choose to believe that or not is up to you the reader.  Here are just a
few examples to wet your whistle:

*         The apartment that Max and Chris first lived in?  Fact or Fiction?
Well I really feel guilty about giving this one away and it feels a little
dangerous too because I absolutely do not want to divulge too much
information, but...   Basically fact.  No there was no `private golf course'
it was semi-private and across a major street from their complex.  The basic
layout of the apartment?  Fact or Fiction?  Again fact, except there was no
game room / study in the 2nd one -- the one Max and Chris shared.  That was
only in the first apartment that Max lived in the night Chris slept over.
So I hope you understood that Max had moved at least once in the story line
so far, as has Chris.

*         Chris' childhood sexual experiences?  Fact or Fiction?
Christopher's initial sexual encounters, their numbers, the sexes involved
the ages as mostly described and the bulk of what happened -- almost entirely
fact to this point.  Naturally there are something's that a young boy is
very vague about describing in complete honest detail after so many years
and believe me when I tell you that Max tried to pull every single one of
them out of his young friend's memories.  In the end Max has faith that the
stories as related to him in later years by Chris had to be mostly true
since Max did later meet some of the participants from the boy's past.  I am
still trying to tell you people that the boy detested male-on-male sex and
still you just don't seem to see the light in the attic.  UPDATE 7/1/2009:
After a long conversation with `Chris' last night the boy wants to change
his story. He now says that much of his tale of the encounter with the
character we are calling `Ben', well `he enhanced the story' as he says.
When asked why he would do such a thing, he simply replied, "It was what
Maxi wanted to hear."  Further discussion with `Max' however -- according to
him, he had means of talking to sources, reliable sources, from the boy's
past and says that `according to them the story as told is basically true'.
Apparently `Ben' had at some point in time `spilled the beans' shall we say?
Well what is a poor writer to do?  What made up the character of `Ben' was
also based on mostly fact so my advice is, believe what you want to the
truth could go either way.  That the reality behind `Ben', that he was
brother, protector and at times teacher for `Chris' is well established and
not in doubt.  Also `Ben' was known to hug `Chris' at times and was seen
doing so in public with witnesses -- so again their closeness is not in
doubt.  The most intimate details of their self `exploration' we may never
know.

*         It's impossible for an 11 year old boy like Chris to have a first
time encounter with a bigger older boy like Ben and then suddenly turn
curious if he was always afraid of male-on-male interaction.  Fact or
Fiction?  Sorry to disappoint, but pretty much all fact there.  You have to
understand that the 16 year old Chris is confident, athletic, proud of his
body with his weaknesses being occasional uncertainty and naivety and his
inability to face up to childhood trauma.  So much of life passed this boy
by and so he seems very immature at times because you want to believe he can
handle it when he can't -- and yet other situations that you think might
shatter him he sails through without a scratch.  On the other hand the
torments and agonies of 6, 7 and even 8 year old Chris are 100% real.  In
overall body size and muscle mass, Chris was a very late bloomer, however
the boy actually developed pubic hair by 1st grade -- not later.  I change'd
that because I was absolutely certain no one would believe me.  The stories
about little Chris' sexual development are in fact understated -- NOT
overstated.  And his torments for developing those physical attributes so
early are also understated.  Suffice it to say Max did attend some of Chris'
annual school physicals and others for various reasons and on more than one
occasion it still left a fairly grown up Chris near tears from the wrongness
of what the boy endure.  Twice Max told the physician to "Fuck Off", grabbed
Chris' hand and stormed out of the office.

*         By the way there is something left out of Max's past but I will
drop a hint.  Max is very comfortable in medical settings and knows exactly
what is and isn't appropriate for a professional Doctor, Nurse or other such
professionals in authority.  More things occurred in Chris' life that were
totally out of line, definitely unnecessary, and very possibly illegal.  All
kinds of folks, whose business it most certainly was NOT, were literally
fascinated by this boy's endowments.  Again MAX WAS THERE at times.  CHANGED
PER REQUEST 7/1/2009: The last straw was when 40 male interns and doctors
descended on the poor boy and spent 4 hours with him stripped naked on his
hospital bed completely exposed while they took turns messaging, fondling,
stroking and then laughing and having open discussions about the boy's
attributes while he lay there helplessly listening in shock.
XXXXXremovedXXXXX The hospital and doctors suffered greatly for that -- to
the point that the female nursing staff afterwards at this major facility
began openly accusing some of those in a certain department of being
homosexuals which lead the urology department to begin offering their young
male patients the choice of male doctors or female nurses for ongoing
medical treatment requiring rigorous medical examination and in-room
treatments.  Not only were male staff band from that point forward from
Chris' room, but a guard was actually posted by hospital administration to
ensure that only family and female nursing staff attended to the boy's
needs.  XXX

*         Are you telling me that 12 year old Chris jacked off in front of a
9 year old neighbor boy for real?  Fact or Fiction?  Come on would I lie to
you now?  Not only is it totally factual, but I had to actually tone it down
because I just didn't want to go that far even though both young boys were
totally consenting minors.  No there was zero coercion, don't even imagine
it.

*         Regarding Ben.  No I don't think I am going to answer that one so
don't even bother me with it, you will just have to wait and see.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MAIL COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS, QUESTIONS OR WHATEVER YOU
LIKE TO:

maxborren@gmail.com