Date: Sun, 28 Jul 2002 22:58:45 +0100
From: ryan <bubblegum_boy_18@hotmail.com>
Subject: Petals in the wind - The Seed- Part One

The characters are fictional, as are the events. This story depicts acts of
love and sex between consenting males. If stories of this nature offend you
or if you are under the age of 18 or it is illegal to read stories of this
nature, then please leave now.

This story is dedicated to: Alana, for being herself always inspiring me
when I feel like an empty shell.  This story is also dedicated to my
friends Nelson Kok, Hiroyuki and Zhibin, you guys have no idea how much of
an inspiration you are to me.


By Ryan - bubblegum_boy_18@hotmail.com

When you've been loved, when you know it holds such bliss. Then the lover
that you kissed will comfort you when there's no hope in sight.  So the
words you could no say I'll sing them for you. And the love we would have
made. I'll make it for two, for every single memory has become a part of
me.  You will always be...my love.

        (George Michael - Jesus to a Child.)


Petals in the wind

One: Open Door

The room was dark and silent with the exception of the conversations and
light that emanated from the television that was sitting on top of a chest
of drawers.  The room was also occasionally illuminated by the combination
of streetlights and cars that passed by the window.  Curtains danced in
submission of the wind as the boy shivered on the small bed adjacent to the
window.  He simply sat with his eyes closed, focusing his attention on the
surrounding silence.  His attention was an effort in vain; he was hoping
for something.  He was hoping for a sign.... Perhaps a sign he was still
alive, a sign someone was there, waiting outside his bedroom door, a sign
someone cared.  No one.  The only presence was that of a drunken couple,
arguing about their antics the previous hour ago, outside his bedroom
window.  Cars passed by, the lights of the neighbouring houses dimmed then
eventually they were extinguished and all broadcasts on the television had
ceased.  The room throbbed with static pulsing from the television screen
and still the boy sat, staring, waiting for something to happen.  Outside
the bedroom there was a creak, just loud enough for him to hear.  Heart
pounding, he almost jumped out of his skin.  Filled with anxiety,
apprehension and hope, he nervously crept to the door.  Carefully he coaxed
the door gently.  To his disappointment all that was there was a dark empty
hallway, just like his dark empty room.  No one was ever there.  No matter
how many doors, no matter how many times he would open, no one would be
there.  He could not cover his scars; he could not purge this loneliness
that he felt, and most of all he could not be himself.  He felt helpless;
he could do nothing. Weak and tired he crawled to bed.  His eyes and body
failing him, he slept.


Earlier...

SEED.

The boy hesitated as he approached the door of the cafe.  As he entered, he
was enveloped in a cloud of smoke and debating bohemian students.  The cafe
itself was one of those noir style jazz cafe's. Pastel colours, dim lights,
soft music and leather seating.  He scanned the ground floor looking over
the many students, laughing, gesturing their hands in the air in
resistance.  No luck.  The boy slowly made his way up the stairs. The upper
floor of the cafe was empty for the exception of a man, who sat smoking in
one of the dimly lit corners.  The man was in is late twenties or perhaps
earlier thirties, fresh faced but with the bone structure of an older man.
The man was roughly about six feet tall with jade green eyes and mousy
brown hair.  He was a broadly built man.  You could tell he definitely took
care of his body, if not now, he at least did in his youth. Taking one last
drag from his cigarette, he noticed the boy and quickly stubbed it out
before placing out his hand to gesture a handshake.  The boy nervously put
out his hand and they shook hands.

"You must be Christian?"  The man said as he blew a final puff of smoke
into the air.

He gestured for him to sit across from him.  Christian blushed and slid
along the sticky caramel of the leather surface.

"Cute!" He laughed as he blew out a final puff of smoke.

Extremely embarrassed, Christian resorted to looking at the floor to hide
the colour of his face.  This was his first proper date with a guy. He
played scenario after scenario of what he believed would be the outcome of
his rendezvous.  The man could sense the boy's discomfort and anxiety so he
decided to use a subtle approach to break the ice.

"What are you drinking?"  He asked.

"Double vodka and orange," he replied with a smile

He nodded and signalled the waiter, who was hovering on the periphery,
cleaning tables.  He made his order, Adam's "Vodka and orange," and "a
whisky and water," for himself.  Adam took note and pondered on Ben's
selection of drink.  He thought that perhaps Ben might have also been
nervous.  This put Adam at ease; at least they were in the same boat.

"Ben...." He paused for a moment focusing his eyes on the man's before
continuing.  "Ben, my name isn't Christian.  My name is Adam.  I just use
Christian as a chat name."

He felt shame his practical deception.  He sat contemplating Ben's reply.
Would he be disappointed? Would he feel angry or would he simply feel
nothing?

"Well..." He paused.  "Its okay, lets just start again," he said dismissing
Adam's dishonesty.

After the minor discomfort of the conversation eased they began to talk
more openly.  They talked briefly about childhood experiences and ambitions
shortly, not long before the waiter returned with their drinks.  They were
anxious for the waiter to leave quickly, so they could resume their
conversations.  Ben especially was anxious to be alone with him. His heart
pounded for the boy each conversation; each word seemed to accelerate his
heartbeat.  Although on an adrenalin high the world around him slowed down.
As they began to drink the waiter disappeared down the stairs leaving them
alone in the softly lighten corner.

They glanced into each other's eyes, not long before Adam once again
blushed.  He shone Ben a smile.  Ben nodded as he raised his glass.

"What to?"

"To this wonderful evening!"  He exclaimed.

"I'll second that!" He raised his glass to Ben's

"CHEERS!"

Again they glanced at each other, they moved closer to one another.  Ben
slowly raised his hand to Adams cheek, stroking it attentively.  Adam's
heart was pounding in his chest, he had longed so long for someone's touch.
He longed for someone's lips against his.  He could feel Ben's breath, warm
against the skin of his neck, warm, sensual, sending ripples up and down
his spine.  Fingers scanning his torso, moist lips against his mouth, the
slow dance of tongues.  No waiters, no cafe, no world, no periphery only
the centre, only the moment, only them.

"Would you like to go somewhere else?"  Asked Ben.

If you have any comments my email address is: bubblegum_boy_18@hotmail.com