Date: Wed, 29 Nov 2006 14:49:15 -0700
From: Roy <roynm@mac.com>
Subject: Phalen - Finding Happiness - chapter 1

This story is entirely fictional, and any resemblances to actual persons
are completely coincidental.  Actual locations are mentioned, and are used
for 'background' only.


'Phalen - Finding Happiness'


by Roy Reinikainen


Brad hefted his laptop bag to his shoulder and looked around the room he'd
occupied since leaving Curt.  He'd come to think of it as *his* room, and
Jeff's house as . . . home.  For the first time since leaving his parents'
home and moving in with Curt four years earlier, he was happy.  There was
no tension lying just below the surface, threatening to grow into a
simmering sense of frustration.  There was no worrying where Curt was or if
something had happened to him.  He was happy here, yet he was going to be
leaving and moving in with Phalen's father.  Larry was a wonderful man.  He
was thoughtful, loving, attentive, gentle . . . and fifteen years his
senior.

Brad stepped to the closet one more time to make sure he wasn't leaving
anything behind.  He was only going to be moving next door, but he hated
the thought of leaving a mess for someone else to clean up.  He shifted the
bag's strap on his shoulder and walked to the glass doors looking out onto
the small courtyard outside his room.  The nearby flowering tree and palm
cast a dappled, ever-moving shade pattern on the brick-floored patio.  He
smiled a little wistfully, thinking how much he enjoyed sitting in the
shade with a drink at his side, with no more sound than the bees in the
tree.  There were no demands, no expectations . . . and no worries.

'Sitting in the shade under that tree may be wonderful, but while I'm
sitting there I'm ignoring reality.  I've got to *do* something.  I can't
go on like this,' he thought, watching a bird wander back and forth on the
wall surrounding the patio.  'As much as I don't want to admit it, I'm
stagnating here.  I need to get on with my life.  Still . . .'  He sighed,
thinking how much he hated to leave.  He was going to miss being around
Phalen and Jeff.  They had been friends before he moved in.  During the few
months he had shared their home, they had become more than friends.  In
many ways he was closer to both of them than he had ever been to Curt, his
partner of four years.

A vision of Curt flashed through his mind, a handsome man with rosy cheeks,
velvet-soft voice . . . and the need to leave genetic samples throughout
the male student population at the university.  Brad grinned at the
allusion, and then sobered, thinking how much he hated the reality of
Curt's behavior.

He knew Jeff couldn't understand why he continued to love Curt.  After all,
Curt had cheated on him.  That was enough in Jeff's mind to write Curt off,
to never even *think* about him again, much less continue to love him.  'Do
I still love him,' Brad wondered, continuing to watch the small bird on the
patio, 'or am I afraid of taking whatever steps are necessary to move on
with my life and leave Curt behind?'  He sighed, no closer to an answering
these questions today than he had been when he first moved in with Jeff and
Phalen.

The only difference between now and then was that he now had feelings for
Larry; feelings that were becoming stronger every time they were together.
Larry never did anything to encourage the things he was feeling
. . . except being damned near perfect in every respect.  He cared for
Larry . . . a great deal.  At the same time he continued to *love* Curt.
He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled.  The little bird fluttered to the
courtyard wall, looked around, and flew away.

He looked up at a gentle knock on the door frame and smiled at Jeff,
motioning him into the room.  Jeff wandered in, trailing a finger over the
desk where a couple bags containing Brad's possessions rested, and then sat
on the edge of the freshly made bed, looking troubled.  He watched Brad for
a moment before speaking.

"Brad, I hate that you're moving out.  I've sorta gotten accustomed to your
walking around the house in your skimpy running shorts."  He grinned as
Brad set his laptop bag on the floor and slumped onto the desk chair,
leaning back and stretching out his legs with a sigh.

"Is moving in with Larry a good move for you," he continued.  "Is it what
you want?"  Jeff looked concerned.  "I mean, if there is *any* doubt, you
can stay here.  I know my brother's coming but you were here first."  He
gave Brad a sly look.  "Greg can sleep on the sofa in my office."

"Jeff, he's your *brother!*" Jeff broke in before he could say anything
more.

"I wouldn't ask him to sleep on the floor!  The sofa folds out into a bed!"
His smile faded as he once again became serious.  "Besides, you're my best
friend and I promised you could stay with us as long as you wanted."  Jeff
sighed.

"You're right though, Greg is my brother . . . whom I've seen once in four
years."  Jeff's slow grin broadened.  "Never mind that he wasn't in the
same country as me."  Brad softly snorted.

"Are you feeling okay about . . . things?  With Larry, I mean.  You're not
usually as quiet as you've been recently."  He leaned forward, resting his
elbows on his knees looking at Brad with his startlingly green eyes.  His
dark eyebrows were hovering in a frown and his sensuous mouth was set in a
firm line.

Brad toyed with the strap to his bag.  "I don't know if moving to Larry's
is the right thing."  He took a deep breath and sighed.  "I like Larry
. . . a lot.  I love having sex with him.  I just don't know if I love him.
He's everything in a man I could want, but . . ."  His voice trailed off as
he tightened his grasp on the strap to his bag and slowly shook his head.
"I don't know what I want, Jeff."

"I was just thinking that I'm being a coward, living here.  I'm not doing
whatever it takes to get on with my life, and leave my relationship with
Curt . . . behind.  I *don't* know if moving in with Larry is the right
thing to do, but at least I am *doing* something.  I've got to do
something."  He toyed with the strap to his bag, not meeting Jeff's eyes.
"I have to be prepared for when I hear that Curt is seeing someone else.
I'm sure he's not sitting around moping about our splitting up.  He's
getting on with his life.  I need to do the same thing."  He looked up with
a crooked smile.  "Living with you . . . here . . . has been something of
an escape.  It has been wonderful."  His grin turned sheepish.

"In fact, just before you knocked, I was thinking that you and Phalen have
become closer to me than Curt ever was.  I'm going to miss you guys."  The
sheepish smile turned playful.  "Do you guys have any idea how erotic it is
to watch you walking around the house naked?"  He looked at Jeff for a
reaction.  "I guess if you're a nudist you don't think of other people's
bodies as erotic, but I'm not a nudist."  He smiled broadly.  "So, watching
you and Phalen walk around naked all the time is a real turn on for me."

"I'm jealous of you guys, you know?"  Jeff's expressive eyebrows rose
slightly and the corners of his lips twitched.  "Every time late at night
when I hear Phalen shout, 'harder, Jeff,' or when I watch you both embrace,
I wish I had what you guys have.  It has been wonderful coming home to this
room, and you, but it's not the same as coming home to a partner."  He
looked at Jeff with a questioning look.  "You know what I mean?"  He
sighed.

"We're not *that* loud . . . are we?"  Jeff seemed troubled.  Brad merely
grinned and shrugged, watching Jeff try to recall exactly what he and
Phalen had said during their lovemaking.  After a moment, Jeff gave up
trying, but still gave Brad a slightly embarrassed look.

"Don't you think Larry would make a good partner?"  Brad absently nodded.

"Oh yes.  I'm sure he'd be a good partner.  I already know he's a good
lover."  The corners of Jeff's lips twitched and he raised his eyebrows in
query.  Brad smiled and sat back in his chair.  "He's so gentle, Jeff, yet
strong at the same time.  When we're . . . together, he's not trying to
impress me with his strength, like Curt would sometimes do."  He grinned.
"Having sex with him is wonderful."  Brad thought a moment and then
laughed, blushing when he saw Jeff studying him.

"When you guys were on vacation, Larry spent quite a bit of time over here.
He was always so proper.  Finally, I had to *ask* him to touch me."  Brad
grinned in recollection.  In the next few days it seemed like all we did
was have sex.  In fact I was probably fucked more times during that weekend
than I had been in the last *year!* Jeff raised his eyebrows and smiled,
imagining Larry on top of Brad.

"Tell me about it," Jeff urged in a low voice, scooting closer to Brad.

"You just want to hear the dirty details, don't you?"  Jeff nodded with a
grin, his eyes sparkling.

"Damn right.  I've seen both you and Larry, naked.  You guys are sexy as
hell, and it's really exciting to think of you both fucking . . . in *my*
house no less!"  He grinned.  "Phalen's told me I'm a voyeur.  I guess he's
right.  I'd sure love to have seen you guys making love."

"Well . . . what do you want to know?"  Jeff's smile broadened.  "Oh,
alright."  Brad relented.  "He spent the night a couple times and we had
sex on that bed."  He nodded to where Jeff was sitting.  Jeff looked down
and casually ran his open hand over the bedclothes.  "We had sex outside a
couple times."  If anything, Jeff's smile became even broader.  He made a
gesture urging Brad to go on.

"The first time was on one of the lounges.  Another time we were both in
the pool, and then there was the time in the hot tub late at night."  He
gave Jeff a shy smile.  "Geez, I sound like a slut!"  He laughed at
himself.  "He's wonderful in bed."  Jeff grinned and slowly nodded.

"Just like his son."  Brad chuckled at Jeff's comment.

"Yeah, I guess, though I think Phalen is probably a little more wild and
adventurous."

"Perhaps," Jeff responded.  "But you're still troubled by something.  It
can't be the sex."  Brad scratched the back of his neck.

"No, the sex is wonderful.  *He* is wonderful.  It's just that . . . "

"What?"

"Jeff, he's fifteen years older than me!"

"Is that a problem?"

Brad heaved a sigh.  "Yes."  Jeff watched his friend as he seemed to be
working through something in his mind.  A moment later he amended his
answer.  "It shouldn't be a problem."  Brad lapsed into silence and Jeff
watched without moving.  "I don't know what to think," Brad concluded,
dropping his arms limply to his sides and tilting his head back, taking a
deep breath and idly swinging the rotating chair from side to side.

"Do you love him?"  Jeff murmured the question into the silence.  Brad
instantly stopped moving and looked at Jeff.

"No . . . at least, not yet.  I've sorta been hiding out over here, you
know."

"What!" Jeff tilted his head back and laughed.  "Being fucked in the pool,
on the lounge, in the hot tub, and a couple times on this very bed!"  He
slapped the bed where he was sitting.  "I don't call *that* hiding out!"
Brad's blush shone even through his deep tan.

"Yeah, well maybe not, but afterward he would go home."  Jeff nodded.
"When I move in with him, we'll be with each other all the time."  Jeff
frowned.

"You mean he's too much for you, even though he's fifteen years older than
you?  Is that what you mean?"  Brad hooted with laughter and Jeff
congtinued.  "It doesn't sound like having to live with someone you don't
love, but *could,* someone who is gentle, caring, strong, and I might say,
almost as handsome as his son, and who can fuck you in so many locations,
doubtless in many different positions . . . with more than pleasant
results, would be too difficult a task to handle."

"Well, when you put it like that there doesn't seem to be a problem, and
his age is only one part of it."  He looked at Jeff with a sad expression.
"Jeff, I'm still in love with Curt."  Jeff leaned back, looking at Brad,
mouthing a silent "O" of sudden understanding.

"Are you considering. . ."  Brad held up a hand to prevent Jeff from
finishing the question.

"No.  I know we can no longer live together.  Somehow though, I've got to
move from loving him to thinking of him . . . some other way."  He
shrugged.

The doorbell rang and Phalen ran past, shouting that he would answer it.

"That must be Larry to help me carry my stuff."  When Brad stood, Jeff
stepped close and wrapped him in a strong embrace.

"Brad, remember something.  You were always there for me when I was having
*my* problems.  Remember that I'll always be here for you if you ever feel
like you need to talk, or cry, or yell, or whatever.  I'm a safe person to
do it around.  Remember?"  Brad nodded.  "Good."  Jeff grinned slightly and
then leaned close and kissed him gently on the lips."  When they parted
Brad opened his eyes to see Jeff's sparkling green eyes watching him.

"Damn, you're a good kisser," he murmured, licking his lips.  Jeff laughed
and patted him on the back before wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"I'll take that as a compliment, coming from a self-avowed slut."  He
laughed and tried to jump out of the way before Brad took retaliation.
"Come on," Jeff urged in a teasing tone.  "Let's go meet the man who has
fucked you in every room of my house, and on nearly every piece of
furniture."  Brad once again hefted his bag to his shoulder and shook his
head in resignation.

"I *knew* I shouldn't have told you that."  Jeff laughed and picked up a
box containing some of Brad's things.  "Besides, you weren't gone long
enough for us to do it in *every* room!"  They were laughing when they
walked out of Brad's room and into the sunroom and saw Phalen in the
courtyard speaking with someone.

----------

Larry stared unseeing out of his living room window.  His eyes kept
wandering over to Jeff's house, next door.  'It's foolish to feel this way.
We see each other almost every day.'  Once again, he looked towards Jeff's.

'Brad's moving in today.'  He had checked and rechecked Phalen's old room
and bath making sure everything Brad would need was within easy reach.  The
refrigerator was stocked with all the things he knew Brad enjoyed,
including plenty of his favorite beer and bottled water.  He kept telling
himself he was offering Brad a place to say, nothing more.  He looked
toward Jeff's house.

When Jeff and Phalen were visiting Jeff's parents in Finland, he and Brad
had found an easy friendship with one another.  They had gone on long runs,
attended a couple baseball games, swam in Jeff's pool, and laughed at how
inept they both were when it came to cooking.  "I should have told you when
we first met that I was born without the culinary gene," Brad laughed,
smearing a long dark streak across his forehead after figuring out how to
ignite Jeff's gas barbecue grill.  He held up both arms as if in triumph.
"At least I didn't blow the place up!  That's a cause for celebration."

Larry hugged him and then wiped away the dark streak.  It was as if neither
of them could get enough of the other.  They would hold hands across the
dinner table.  When they watched television one would rest his arm on the
other's shoulder.  Their time together was wonderful for Larry.  He had
never experienced a feeling of total contentment before, and he wanted it
to continue.  He had awakened in the morning after their first night
together with Brad softly snoring at his side, his arm resting across
Larry's chest.  Larry had tilted his head up for a moment and then returned
it to the pillow with a silent groan of excitement . . . and frustration.

Brad had kicked off the sheets in the night.  In the early morning light
Larry could see the length of Brad's lithe body, from the muscled arm
resting across his chest, down his tapering back, to the swell of the firm
tanned buttocks, and lastly to the long nearly hairless legs.  The thought
that this wonderful man was lying next to him was exciting, and the fact
that he was so much like Jeff was frustrating . . . and frightening.

'Jeff's not at my side,' he scolded himself.  He chanced another glance
down the length of Brad's naked body and imagined Jeff lying next to him
. . . doing the things with, and to him, Brad had done only hours earlier.

'Am I drawn to Brad because he resembles Jeff,' Larry asked, trying to be
honest with himself.  He lay still and watched the slowly turning ceiling
fan as he tried to sort out his thoughts, and his feelings.  It was going
to be a difficult task.  Anytime he thought of Jeff his thinking became
muddled.  All he could think of was Jeff's wonderful voice, his accent, his
intensely green eyes, or the slow smile and soft laugh.  He thought of what
it was like to be embraced by Jeff, or to see him naked, lounging around
the pool.  Jeff was intelligent, and . . . and . . . his son's lover.

'I love Jeff,' he admitted to himself.  'I've tried not to . . . but I do.
I wish Jeff were the man lying next to me . . . but that man isn't Jeff,
and it would be wrong of me to think of him as little more than a
substitute.  Brad's a wonderful, sensitive person in his own right.'  He
thought a moment longer.  'If I love Brad, I have to love him because he is
Brad, not because he resembles Jeff.'  He took a deep breath and sighed in
frustration.

Perhaps sensing Larry's troubled thoughts, Brad shifted, removing his arm
from Larry's chest.  Larry watched him stretch and then prop himself up on
his elbows and turn to him with a bleary eyed smile.

"Morning, counselor,' he grinned, leaning close and briefly kissing Larry
on the lips.  "Thank you so much for last night," he said, snuggling
closer.  "What say we spend the entire day in bed?"  He chuckled.  "Getting
to know one another."  Brad had made a sound of deep contentment and then
murmured close to Larry's ear.  "I have never had as nice a night as I had
with you last night."  He chuckled and then kissed Larry's neck.  "You are
absolutely fantastic."

'Brad is moving in today!'  Larry nervously ran the palms of his open hands
down the sides of his shorts and then shook his hands, wandering into the
kitchen.  He looked into the refrigerator, chiding himself at his
nervousness.  'Yep, the food is still there.'  He grabbed a cold bottle of
beer and closed the refrigerator door, twisting off the bottle cap and
tossing it into the trash as if he were shooting a free throw in
basketball.

He walked out onto the backyard patio, perched on the edge of a chair, and
looked toward Jeff's house.  The leaves of the four palm trees standing in
a line next to the pool waved gently in the breeze.  Other than the normal
chatter of birds and the sound of children playing in the nearby park, the
neighborhood was silent.  He didn't hear any splashing from the pool in
Jeff's back yard, or Phalen's laughter, or music.  'Thankfully, Jeff's not
trying to sing,' he thought with a grimace, just before the nervousness
overtook him once again.

'Brad's moving in today.'  He finished the beer and wandered through the
house and onto the front porch, looking towards Jeff's house.

----------

"Dustin."  Curt paused and thought about how to handle his younger
brother's latest jab at Brad, at him, and gay people in general.  "Just
shut up and get a life!"  Curt walked across the living room of his
parents' house and then stopped and looked back over his shoulder.  "You're
just pissed because if anyone took a look at the two of us they would,
without a doubt, choose *you* as the gay one."  He laughed and walked out
of the house toward his car, already regretting what he had said to his
brother.

He shook his head as he held onto the door handle with one hand and cursed
himself.  'I still haven't learned how to control my tongue.  It's going to
get me into real trouble someday.'  He thought for a moment longer and then
returned to the house to search out his younger brother.

"Hey, Dustin."  He found his brother was making a sandwich.  Dustin looked
up with what could charitably be called, a frown.  "Hey man, I'm sorry for
the stuff I said a couple minutes ago.  It was uncalled for.  I don't want
us to always be at each other's throats."  He paused a moment, waiting for
his brother to make a comment.  Dustin went about assembling a sandwich,
paying no attention to his brother.

"Well," Curt continued, trying to maintain control of his tongue.  "Like I
said, I'm sorry."

"I heard you."  Dustin bit into his sandwich and turned his back to Curt
and began rummaging in the refrigerator.  Curt watched him for a moment and
then shook his head and headed back to his car, leaving his brother with
his head still buried in the refrigerator and a cigarette smoldering in an
ashtray next to his half-eaten sandwich.

'Dustin's not a bad guy, really,' Curt thought.  'He just seems to search
for every opportunity to say something nasty about gay people.  I don't
like it, but at least I can handle him making fun of some *anonymous*
person.  But when he makes one of his snide comments about Brad or our
relationship, that's too much.'

Curt closed his car door and pulled out onto the busy street, heading back
to his apartment.  'The little fucker probably is in such a mood because he
can't find anyone that even *likes* him.  Someday, someone's not gonna take
his shit and he'll find himself with a broken nose, choking on a couple
teeth.'  He swerved onto the freeway entrance ramp.

'What's that old saying?'  He thought a moment, tapping his fingers on the
car's steering wheel.  'You can choose your friends, but you're stuck with
the jokers you have to call family.'  He grinned, knowing he had misquoted
the saying, but thinking how appropriate it was, nonetheless.

Curt wove his way through rush hour traffic, the sound of his car's
powerful engine music to his ears.  He'd always loved fast and flashy
things.  He never could figure out why he'd been attracted to Brad, a
stable middle-of-the-road person, if there ever was one.  He thought for a
moment.  'Maybe it was *because* he's so stable that I was attracted to
him.  Maybe it was because of his impish smile, and infectious laugh, or
the way he would sigh in pleasure as he was penetrated.'  Curt reached up
and massaged the back of his neck.  'Damn, I miss him.'  He glanced at the
picture of Brad he had stuck to the dashboard of the car, and then looked
over his shoulder and changed lanes, making his way to the exit ramp that
would take him to his apartment.

He reached the bottom of the ramp and impulsively turned away from home.
'I've *got* to see him.  I *have* to.'  He drove on without thinking, and
after driving past Jeff's house a couple times, pulled into the driveway
and got out of his car.  He stood for a moment wondering if he was doing
something foolish and then headed for the door, absently returning the wave
of greeting from the man standing on the porch next door.

'I can't say something stupid,' he warned himself as he raised his hand,
poised to ring the doorbell.  'I can't say something that will make him
angry with me, or say something to hurt him.'  He pressed the button and
then nervously wiped the palms of his hands on the sides of his shorts.
'All I want to do is *see* him.  I need to *see* him.'  He heard the latch
on the door a moment before it swung open to reveal Phalen.  His smile
faltered a moment as he looked at Curt with surprise.

"Um, hi Phalen," he said, trying to smile.  He clasped and then unclasped
his hands at his sides, feeling his smile waver.  "I apologize for just
dropping in like this.  I know it's sorta weird, but do you think Brad
would see me for a moment?"  He tried not to crane his neck to look around
Phalen into the courtyard.  "Is he here?"

"Hi Curt."  Phalen stood aside and motioned Curt into the shaded courtyard,
giving him a friendly pat on the back as he passed.  He closed the gate and
turned toward Curt with a look of concern.  "Are things okay?  I haven't
seen you since graduation."  Curt shrugged and grinned.

"Yeah, things are better than the last time I saw you.  I've gotten a job
at the accounting firm I was hoping to, so that's a good thing.  I'm
working my tail off."  He tried to think of something else to say.  "I
thought *school* was tough."

He thought for a moment and then shrugged once more, giving Phalen a
sheepish smile.  "You're wondering why I'm here."  Phalen grinned in return
and made a helpless gesture with his hands.

"I just want to *see* him, Phalen.  I'm not here to make a scene or
anything."  He bowed his head and was surprised to hear his voice crack as
he spoke.  "I miss him so much."  He took a shuddering breath and looked
over Phalen's shoulder, his attention caught by the sound of laughter
. . . the same laughter he once took for granted.  He felt a rush of warm
tingles over his skin.

Brad and Jeff were standing in the door to the house.  They had been
laughing.  Jeff's arm rested casually across Brad's shoulders and they were
looking at him as if they were frozen.  In only an instant, Jeff's eyes
shifted from Phalen, to *him* and back to Phalen.

Brad was looking wonderful.  The smile slowly faded from Brad's face, to be
replaced by a fleeting look of intense longing, and then one of
determination.  He began to extend his hand as if to reach for Curt, and
then seemed to realize what he was doing, first dropping his arm to his
side, and then reaching across his chest to tightly grasp the strap to his
bag.  His knuckles were almost white from the force of his grip.

He had pictures of Brad everywhere . . . at home, in his car . . . at work,
but seeing him standing only a few feet away was so much more satisfying.
'He looked wonderful in his navy blue shorts and white Polo highlighting
his deep tan.  Curt took a shaky breath.  'Oh, Brad,' he thought to
himself, hoping his thoughts were obvious.  'I am *so* sorry for what I've
done.'

He licked his lips, conscious of Phalen and Jeff standing nearby.  "Uh,
hi," he managed to say aloud, in a rasping voice, wishing he were able to
say what he was thinking.  Jeff nodded a greeting while Brad seemed not to
know what to do.

He cleared his throat as if he didn't trust his voice.  "Hi, Curt."  His
eyes never left Curt's.  "Are . . ."  Brad cleared his throat once more and
began speaking with the clear voice Curt had always loved.  "Are you okay?
You're not hurt or anything . . . are you?"  Neither Phalen or Jeff moved,
watching the two men face one another, separated by no more than six feet.
Brad glanced to his left as Jeff removed his hand from his shoulder,
leaving him standing alone.

Curt nodded once.  "I'm fine."  Suddenly, he didn't know what to say.  "I
. . . I got that job I was hoping for.  Our friends have asked if I know
how you're doing."  He hesitated, glancing once again at Jeff.  "Are
. . . "  He paused and swallowed, willing his voice to not break.  "Are you
okay?  You look so good."  He swallowed convulsively.  "I . . . I'm sorry."
He glanced to his right as Phalen moved closer and rested a hand on his
shoulder, lending him some support.  "Brad, I . . . I don't want to make
things hard for you, but . . . but, I was driving home from my parents and
I."  He paused and bowed his head.  "I *had* to see you, and know that
you're okay.  I've asked around and no one knew . . . how you were doing."
He shrugged.  "I had to . . . see you."  He sniffed once and looked from
Brad and Jeff, thankful for Phalen's show of support.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, guys."  He began to turn toward the gate but
paused and looked over his shoulder.  "It's been good to see you, Brad.  I
promise I . . . won't do this again."  Phalen squeezed his shoulder and
reached for the door's latch.

"Curt," Brad said into the silence, and watched both Phalen and Curt turn
toward him.  "You take care of yourself . . . okay?"  Curt nodded in
acknowledgment, and left the courtyard, walking to his car with Phalen at
his side.

"Whew," he blew out a big breath and gave Phalen a tremulous smile.  "That
was rough."  Phalen nodded.

"He needed to see you too, Curt.  He needed to know you're okay too."

"You think?"  Phalen nodded, spreading his arms and enfolding Curt in an
embrace.

"It's sorta like you guys' brains know you're no longer together, but your
hearts haven't gotten the message yet."  Curt nodded and looked at Phalen
with a crooked smile.

"I know mine hasn't."

"Remember, if you need to talk you've got my number.  Try not to agonize
over things," Phalen paused a moment.  "Okay?"  Curt grinned and nodded.

"Thank you, Phalen.  Give my apologies to Jeff, will you?"

"Why?  He wants what's best for both Brad *and* you.  Jeff's not your
enemy, Curt.  He wants to see both you guys happy.  It's just that he and
Brad have formed a close friendship, being in architecture and all.  So,
don't worry about Jeff.  Besides, Brad needed to see you as much as you
wanted to see him.  This has been rough on both you guys . . . but like I
said a while back, things will get better."  He looked at Curt.

"Are you getting out any; I mean, other than going to work?"  Curt shook
his head.

"Nah, I've been working long hours, longer than need be, really . . . just
so I don't *have* to see anyone.  That's how I got into this mess if you
remember?"  Phalen grinned a crooked grin.

"Yeah, but seeing someone will also get you *out* of this mess.  If all you
do is work until you drop and then go home, you're never going to move on
with your life.  Both you guys have to let go sometime."  Phalen paused a
moment and then chuckled.

"Listen to me!  My dad dates a psychologist for a couple months and *wham,*
suddenly I'm qualified to tell you how to handle your life."  Curt smiled
at Phalen's infectious laughter.

"You're amazing."  Phalen raised his eyebrows, but seemed pleased with
Curt's words.  "Maybe I came over here as much to see *you* as to see Brad.
Every time you talk to me, I go away feeling better."  He hugged Phalen
once again and patted him on the back.  "Thanks."  He opened the car door
and got inside.

"You don't happen to have a brother, do you," he said with a chuckle as he
started the car's engine.  Phalen laughed.

"Sorry, I'm an only child."  He patted Curt on the shoulder.  "Don't be a
stranger, Curt.  Let me know how you're doing.  I want to hear all about
someone new and exciting in your life."  Curt nodded and backed out of the
driveway, waving as he drove away.

----------

"Hey, Phalen!"  Larry shouted from the chair on the porch of his house,
waving and motioning for his son to come over.  Phalen smiled and jogged
over to his father, plopping down on the edge of a planter with a dramatic,
"whew," and giving his father a broad smile.

"Hi, Dad.  Ready for your new room mate?"  Larry nodded slowly giving his
son a remote smile.  He leaned back in his chair, idly running a long
finger over the woven wicker of the chair.

"I could easily come to love him, Phalen.  I'm half in love with him
already, and I'm not sure that's a good thing to have happen . . . for
either of us."  Phalen scooted closer to the edge of the planter and
watched his father.

"That was Curt, wasn't it?"  Phalen nodded.

"Yeah.  Something has got to happen, Dad.  Both those guys are like stuck
in a time warp or something.  They're still back a couple months ago
thinking things'll work themselves out and everything will be cool.  They
both *know* that's not what's going to happen, but they're sorta hoping."
He looked at his father.

"Dad, Brad likes you.  I think he likes you a lot."  He didn't fail to
notice the momentary appearance of his father's dimples.  "Maybe living
with you will make him realize that the thing with Curt is over."  He
studied his father's face in silence for a moment and then chuckled.

"You guys are funny.  You know that?"  Larry gave his son a puzzled look
that was answered by a motion from his son telling him not to interrupt.
"You guys are just like everyone back in high school, at one of those
dances . . . you know?"  Larry grinned but shook his head, unable to see
the connection between him, Brad . . . and a high school dance.

"Well, at one of those dances everyone knows what they *want* to do, who
they want to dance with and stuff, but do they walk up and say, 'hey, babe,
wanna dance?'"  Phalen laughed and shook his head.  "Nope.  They sit around
worrying that someone else will make the first move and snap up the person
they've got their eye on."  Phalen leaned forward with a mock-serious
expression.

"There's a message here, Dad.  Did you get it?"  Larry frowned, causing
Phalen to shake his head in exasperation.

"Dad, you and Brad both know what you *want* to happen, right?"  He didn't
wait for his father to respond.  "Well . . . Daaaaad," he lowered his
voice.  "You better ask the guy to dance or someone else will come along
and snatch him up."  He crossed his arms and laughed at his father's
expression.

"You didn't think I could come up with a message from a dumb dance story,
did ya?"


~ to be continued ~


Thank you for taking the time to read my work.  I *always* welcome your
email and enjoy hearing your thoughts.  If you would like me to send a pic
of the character(s), please ask.

I have three other stories you may want to read.  'Leith,' and 'Chris' are
located in the Nifty College Section.  The third story is called 'Wesley',
and is located in the Adult Relationships section.  I hope you enjoy them
all.

Best wishes,

Roy Reinikainen
roynm@mac.com
suomalainen_abq@mac.com