Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2005 16:45:08 -0700
From: Roy <roynm@swcp.com>
Subject: Phalen - Chapter Four in the College Section
This story contains portrayals of homosexual actions and
lifestyles. There may be references to, or explicit descriptions of,
sex between consenting adults.
If homosexuality, sexually explicit language, or swearing offends
you, or if reading material that contains these topics violates any law
or personal or religious beliefs, you must exit now without proceeding
further.
If you are under 18 years of age, you may not read this story
because it is against the law.
This story is entirely fictional, and any resemblances to actual
persons are completely coincidental.
Roy
roynm@mac.com
Phalen, Chapter four
We started the jog back to the house, this time at a more sedate
pace; surprisingly mostly in silence. Since the sun had set, we were
now jogging in the long desert twilight, air heavy with the smell of
blossoming plants.
We passed a few other joggers as we crossed the campus. We
returned their waves of greeting, as if we all belonged to some secret
fraternity, acknowledging another member.
Otherwise the night was quiet except for the occasional passing car.
Since it was Spring Break, the campus was mostly silent.
From time-to-time, Phalen's rhythm would be broken as he skipped
and laughed, once reaching out and putting his arm around my shoulder
while we both continued to run. I was looking forward to getting out of
my sweaty clothes, grabbing something to eat and soaking in the hot
tub. I could already feel my muscles tightening from the unusual
exertion. I thought to myself, "I'm a swimmer! Why am I out in the
dark running?" Then I would listen to the sounds of the person beside
me and I *knew.
As we started up our street I noticed that Phalen's parents must
have returned. Phalen must have noticed at the same time. He slapped me
on the back and took off at full speed to greet his parents. "Jeez,
what he's going to tell them," I wondered. I slowed down; an easy thing
to do given the physical exhaustion I was facing. "Damn," I thought,
"jogging certainly is different than swimming." That hot tub was
looking better with each passing minute.
As I got closer, I noticed that things did not seem to be going
well. Phalen was standing with his arms crossed, glaring at his
mother. She, on the other hand was banging around in the trunk of the
car, almost tossing things out to be caught by Larry, Phalen's father,
who in turn was urging her to be calm.
"Oh, oh, the honeymoon's over," I thought as I took in this
tableau. For a moment, I wasn't sure whether to stop at their house and
interrupt what was obviously a private argument, or to wave and pass
them by, letting them hash out whatever the problem was in privacy.
Phalen and I had discussed the possibility that his mother would
not be accepting of his sexual orientation, and of our budding
relationship, as was his father. "Hell," I had said. "No one could be
*that* accepting! It was positively unnatural!" Phalen said he thought
she was a "reasonable" woman, but that's all he would say. After we had
spoken of the imminent meeting, I noticed that he was unnaturally quiet
for much of the evening. "Not a good sign of things to come," I
remember thinking at the time.
All of this ran through my mind as I approached trying to decide
what to do.
Larry took the decision out of my hands, waving to me and obviously
inviting me to stop and talk. "Hey Jeff, having a tough time keeping up
with Mr. athlete, here?" he said nodding to Phalen who continued to
stand quietly with his arms over his chest.
"Definitely not a good sign, I thought. --- And I was so looking
forward to a long hot soak!"
"I think I'm gonna die. Are either of you a doctor?" I asked miming
my imminent demise. Larry laughed and turned to his wife who had just
turned around to face me.
"Honey, this is Jeff, our new neighbor. Jeff, this is Helen, my
wife and Phalen's mother."
"Very pleased to meet you Helen," I said as I extended my hand.
She looked at me as if I had just crawled out of the sewer, and ignored
my hand.
"Honey," Larry prompted.
Never looking up or meeting my eyes, she said, "Welcome to the
neighborhood, as if the words were being forced out of her. Perhaps
they were. Larry *had* taken her arm. If he was exerting a gentle
influence with his fingers, I didn't notice. As Larry let go, she
immediately turned around, dismissing my presence as she began pulling
things out of the car and handing them to Larry. Since it was getting
pretty dark, I couldn't tell if Larry was mad or embarrassed by her
behavior. I *could* tell that he was not at all pleased. I was also
positive that Phalen and I had walked in on an argument that had been
going on for quite a while.
"Mom, what's wrong?" said Phalen in a pleading voice. "I'm
figuring that something's on your mind, or something awful happened on
your trip since you're behaving like this."
"Nothing's wrong with *me*, she snapped at him, seemingly oblivious
to my presence. "And who are *you* to judge *my* behavior," she said,
her voice becoming more shrill as she spoke.
"Mom?" said Phalen. Clearly, he had never seen this side of his
mother.
"Here, carry this inside the house," she said, shoving a bag into
his hands. Apparently, she had remembered me standing there and had
decided that the only way to get rid of me was for the three of them to
head indoors.
"No. Wait a minute," said Phalen as he dropped the bag.
"Something's wrong here. You've never acted like this before, and
you're being rude to Jeff."
"Phalen," said Larry. "Can we let it rest for a while and talk
about things later?"
"I'm sorry dad, but I can't. I just gave Jeff a lecture today
about not ignoring something when a principle is stake. Remember mom?
*you* taught me that?"
She had stopped banging around in the car and was standing still
with her arms crossed. "Definitely not a happy woman," I thought. I
wondered if Phalen could be as obstinate when he gets really mad.
"You both have taught me how to behave in public. Now's the time
for you to follow the rules that you taught me to live by."
This was becoming too much for me. I had to get us all inside and
out from under the eyes of the neighbors. I was sure that if they
thought about it, they would not want to be having this discussion in
the driveway. Since no one was saying anything at the moment, I jumped
in. "This is awful, standing out here like this. Larry, Helen, please
come over and let's sit down and you and Phalen can talk. Maybe we
could all have a cup of coffee. Okay?"
Before she could react, Phalen took his mother's arm and began
walking her toward my house. "Jeff's got a beautiful house, mom.
You'll love the pool! In fact, we just got the pizza cleaned out of
it," he said with some of his regular exuberance. Helen, reluctantly
let herself be led to the house. I wondered how tight a grip he had on
her arm.
"Pizza?" Larry said as he began returning bags to the car.
"Long story, Larry," I said. "This isn't going well, is it?"
"No Jeff, it's not. She's pissed at me, at Phalen, *and* you.
After her initial outburst when I told her that I believed Phalen could
finally be happy because he had faced the fact that he was gay, we
hardly spoke. I'm sorry that you're having to witness this behavior.
She's not normally like this."
"Well, Phalen seems to be handling this pretty well," I said.
Let's go give him our support.
"How are things going *here*," said Larry as finished stuffing
things back in the car.
"Better than you could ever imagine. Helen better not push Phalen
too far though. He's matured a lot in just a short while. She might be
surprised at his independent streak. --- He's a great guy Larry. You
and Helen should be proud. She'll, be okay. She's just having trouble
accepting that Phalen is an adult, even though he may still be in High
School. I think that she still sees a child when she looks at him. It
must be rough to face the fact that your child is grown, is able to make
his own decisions *and* is gay, all at the same time."
"Hey Jeff. "C'mon, You've got the key!" Phalen yelled as Larry and
I were walking up to the house.
"That's funny," I thought. "He's got his own key."
"Smart boy," Larry said for only me to hear. "He wants to break
things to his mother, a little bit at a time. If she knows that he has
a key to *your* house, no telling how she might react.
As Larry and I approached the front door, I threw the keys to
Phalen, so he could begin the tour *and* conversation alone. "I'll get
the mail," I yelled as they went inside.
When I joined them, I could hear Phalen describing all of the work
that we had done in the past couple days. He continued talking while I
went into the kitchen to make some coffee. "Something tells me that
this may be a long night," I thought. "I'm going to need *something* to
get me through it." With the current situation, I was glad that we had
already returned the coffee maker and other things that we had borrowed.
I could hear the three of them talking in the living room. My
desire to avoid confrontation was running strong. I wanted to let
Phalen handle the situation, yet I couldn't leave him alone when he
needed all the support he could get. As I brought the coffee into the
living room Phalen was talking to his mother.
"Mom, is your problem with me?
I didn't look up. I was intent on not stumbling, pretending that
nothing was wrong.
"With Jeff?"
I tried not to breathe. I knew I was going to trip.
"Why do you say that?" she snapped.
"Because of how your behaving. Mom, if you're mad at me, let me
know what you're upset about. If it's something I can change, I'll do
my best. If I can't change it, I'll tell you why, okay?"
"I don't like you over here. --- I don't think that *he* is a
good influence on a young boy like you," she spat. "So there. Are you
happy?"
"I sat the coffee down and stood behind Phalen, hoping my presence
would lend him some support, and let his mother know that she was facing
*both* of us instead of just her son. I noticed that Helen and Larry
both, took note of where I stood, *and* its significance.
"What kind of influence does Jeff have over me mother?" he said
looking up and back at me briefly. I'm old enough to think for myself."
"No you aren't!" she almost shrieked. "Can't you see? He's a fag!"
I gripped the back of the chair, but otherwise didn't move a
muscle. I just looked her directly in the face. Larry and Phalen for
their part, had stopped breathing. Nothing moved other than Helen, who
was so overwrought she was almost gasping for breath.
"He's going to *corrupt* you! We should never have left you here.
If I had known, I wouldn't have agreed. But your father didn't see fit
to tell me until we were out of town," she said verging on hysteria.
"He told you *Jeff* is gay?" said Phalen. "Or that *I* am?" ---
Mother, listen to me.
It appeared that she was gearing up for another round when Phalen
almost shouted at her. "I said LISTEN to me! --- please.
"I love you mom, and you too dad, but whether you like it or not
--- or choose to believe it or not, I am an adult. You have spent
eighteen years teaching me what is right and wrong, and how to make up
my own mind. I believe that I learned the lessons well. I also believe
that I have been a good son to you both. You have been outstanding
parents. In fact, my friends get tired of me telling them what great
people you both are.
"I know that you want what's best for me and that you love me. But
*I* have to determine what's right for me now."
I could tell that he was near tears, so I moved to sit close to
him. I wasn't touching him, but I knew he could tell that he had my
support.
"Do you understand what I'm saying? You have called Jeff a name
that I never thought I would hear *you* say. How can you say such a
thing as that? You've only just *met* him. He's attempted to be
cordial. You haven't let him.
"You've always taught me to accept minorities. How can you now
turn around and behave like this? Mom, how can you attack your own
*son* like this?"
She looked up, startled.
"Yes mom. I'm gay. Even when I didn't know what word to use, I
only noticed other boys, never girls. Jeff didn't have any more
influence in me being gay than you or dad did. I just *am*
"Mom, you should be happy for me. For the first time in my life
I'm really happy. Jeff didn't make me gay --- but he sure as hell *did*
made me happy."
I reached over to take his hand.
"No Jeff. If you touch me I'll probably cry.
"Mom, I am *happy*. Happy first that you and dad are my parents
and that you have always loved me. Mom, I'm also happy to be with Jeff,
and I'm asking you to be happy for me. So, please give me your support,
like you have always have. I have heard about kids whose parents have
thrown them out when they found out their child was gay.
I looked over at him. He was holding himself together by sheer
will. He took a ragged breath.
"Mom, *please* don't throw me away!"
He finally couldn't stand it any longer and broke down and started
to cry. I reached over to him and he hid his face next to mine as I
pulled him close.
Larry got up and came over, kneeling and joining me while we tried
to comfort Phalen.
For quite a while Helen just sat there. Finally she stood up and
started to pace. She had regained control and was obviously moved by
her son's tears.
"Phalen, this is hard for me to accept. I have to say that I am
shocked. You take after your father --- fancy words to sway the jury!
"I won't throw you out Phalen," she said after a few moments. I
would never do that. I'm not happy. I am, *extremely* hurt and angry,
but you're right, as much as I hate to admit it. I'm sorry that I
called your friend a name. No matter what my feelings are, that was not
called for."
"His name is Jeff mother," he said sniffing and wiping his eyes
with the back of his hands. "He's sitting right here. I thank you for
your apology but you need to apologize to *him* personally.
Helen visibly steeled herself. "I'm sorry ------- Jeff. Please
accept my apology for saying the things I did. I only want what's best
for Phalen."
"I understand." I said. "Thank you."
Releasing Phalen and standing up, Larry spoke for the first time.
"Phalen, what you just did took a lot of courage. I thought that after
the other night, I could never be more proud of you. Today, I am."
"Well, let's have some coffee, or I'm going to start crying," I
said dramatically sniffing, trying to break the tension. "You can have
some of the regular kind, or the extra robust that is Phalen's
specialty," I said with a grin.
"I didn't know that you knew how to make coffee," his mother said
as we all headed out to the patio. Phalen had placed his arm around her
shoulders, as they walked outside. Larry just gave me a pat on the back
as he passed.
"That's what he's saying," said Phalen. "I can't."
We spent the next half hour or so sitting on the patio talking
about their trip and other things that weren't controversial. The
atmosphere was still pretty tense, but his mother had calmed down and
everyone at least was cordial.
While Phalen and his parents chatted, I would look up from time too
time to watch his mother. I had to admire the woman. She was angry,
hurting and bewildered when she came into the house. Sure, she had come
close to hysterics, but she had managed enough self control to listen to
her son's arguments. I'm not really sure she knew whom or what she was
*angry* at. It was going to take her a while to sort through things. I
had no doubt that she could do it. She had already come a long way this
evening.
I agreed with Phalen. He had a couple of good people for parents.
Helen and I might never become close, but I now believed that we would
not be enemies.
Larry and Helen had stood up, ready to leave, awakening me from my
musings. As we were walking to the door, Helen turned and said, "Are
you coming home Phalen?" a little wistfully.
"I am home mom," he said as he looked over to me, then bent down
and gave her a kiss on the cheek. It was easy to see that she didn't
know how to respond.
"Come on sweet heart," said Larry as he took her by the arm.
"Let's leave these guys alone. We've got a lot to talk about." As the
door was about to close, he turned and winked at us both.
Phalen and I stood in absolute silence for a few minutes, then he
turned to me and screamed at the top of his lungs, "Holy --- fucking ---
*shit*! ---------- That was *hard*!" He rubbed his face with his
hands, then smiled and said sweetly. "There Jeff, see how it's done?
"I have to sit down," he said as he walked out to the back yard
flopping down onto one of the lounges; falling back with his arms
hanging over the sides, blankly staring at the night sky. "I've had
enough drama for months and months," he laughed, turning to look up at
me as I stood over him.
"Fuck Jeff. I didn't know if I could do it! I thought that she
had like, made up her mind and I was lost. I couldn't let that happen.
They both mean too much to me. Though she *is* being a bitch right
now. Normally she is pretty cool."
"Don't say that Phalen. She'll come round."
"I know. But tonight she was acting like a crazy woman. --- Bad
stuff," he said as I sat down next to him and he took my hand. "If she
had pushed me," he said after a long pause."
"Shh," I said as I put my fingers over his mouth. "Don't say it,
dude. You don't need to. --- She didn't.
He took my hand and gave it a light kiss. "You were great too, you
know? I felt your support, even when you were standing behind me. ---
I couldn't have stood up to her without you there. That's why I wanted
to hash this out *here* and not at *their* house. I don't know if I
would have been strong enough if you hadn't been there."
We sat like this for a couple more minutes. Suddenly, he jumped
up, leaving me still perched on the edge of the lounge. "What are we
doing, sitting here shooting the shit? I'm *starved*," he said rubbing
his hands together. "Let's eat!"
We both hustled inside and I quickly started making a quick
dinner. As I was working at the counter, Phalen came up behind me and
put his arms around me. He just stood there, loosely holding he,
obviously still feeling the effects of this evening.
"C'mon Phalen," I said as I turned around to face him. Let's eat,
then get into the hot tub. We'll both feel better for it. I'm wound up
tight as a spring. First with the running, then your parents. I need a
long hot soak. --- So do you." He just stood there, still with his arms
around me, not responding.
"I don't suppose you know how to give a massage?" I said trying to
knock him out of his funk.
"Depends on what you want massaged," he replied as he ran his hand
down the front of my jogging shorts, cupping my pouch. "If I don't
already know how, I'll be happy to practice on you!"
"I guess I had said the right thing," I thought. It was good to
hear Phalen joking again. He doesn't wear serious nearly as well as a
smile.
As we finished eating he asked, "you suppose we could sleep outside
tonight?" leering at me. That was all it took. We both stood up and
quickly stripped, leaving our clothes where they fell.
Phalen ran inside, grabbed a couple pillows, and turned out the
lights as he rushed back outside. As he ran over to me, I saw that he
was already half hard. Watching him become aroused caused me to start
stiffening as well.
"*Finally* --- the hot tub," I thought. "I've been wanting this
all afternoon." We both sighed as we slowly eased ourselves into the
foaming water, letting it work its magic on our tired bodies.
After a few minutes Phalen worked his way closer to me. He put an
arm around me and rested his head on my shoulder, never saying a word.
I noticed that the lights were still on at his parent's house. He
probably did too, but didn't say anything. Maybe that's why he was so
quiet.
We stayed in the hot tub till well past midnight then dried each
other, a regular post-shower ritual for us. He took my hand and we lay
down on one of the wide lounges, quickly linking arms and bodies.
"Jeff, tell me again that you love me," Phalen said as we cuddled
under the clear sky. "I need to hear it again."
I shifted my position to face him, and with my mouth less than an
inch from his ear whispered. "My dearest Phalen, knowing you is the most
wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. --- And, in English this
time, I want you to know that I love you more than I can say. Please,
live with me. Let's be happy, and grow old together."
He was quiet for a while, then said quietly, "Jeff you really *are*
a romantic, aren't you? --- For sure."
That night's love making was gentler than was typical for us.
Neither of us had an orgasm, but the love making was exceptional. He
fell asleep, as we were lying in our favorite spoon position. The last
thing that I remembered before I too succumbed was his slow breathing on
the back of my neck.
~End - Chapter Four~
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to comment on this
story. I really enjoy hearing from you and appreciate your input and
constructive criticism.
There are a few words and phrases in Finnish that appear in
"Phalen." Computers whose keyboards are configured for the English
alphabet are unable to correctly reproduce a number of the letters in
the Finnish alphabet with their associated punctuation. I have
therefore chosen to use the closest equivalent letters in the English
alphabet. To any Finnish speakers, my apologies.
If you would like me to send you a pic of the guys that inspired
the main characters, just ask. They're just *my* vision. Yours may be
completely different. That's cool.
My thanks to Bob aka Shiney Hiney for his help in proofing this
chapter.
Kiitos (Thanks)
Roy
roynm@mac.com