Date: Sun, 23 Feb 2003 20:53:28 -0500
From: Dave H. <streyn@hotmail.com>
Subject: Problems with Romance Chapter 2 (section-college)

Author's Note:

Ok. So this is my first try at writing a story. Hopefully some of you out
there will read this and hopefully like it some bit. This story is not a
"stroke piece"(note: it is NOT). I accidentally kept it as it is one in the
last chapter. Oops. Anyways, it's just about a college guy trying to find
the right person. So if that disinterests you, you should stop reading.
Otherwise, read on. The story may be a little slow, but it will eventually
pick up around the following parts to come. If you have any comments, e-mail
me at Streyn@hotmail.com

This story is completely fictional. So any similarities you may see are
purely coincidental. In other words, don't bite my ass off if it just so
happens that you're life just happens to be exactly like the one in this
story.

Also, if you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading this, then
go away now. Don't want you reading something you shouldn't now. Also, if
these kinds of stories are not to your liking, you should leave as well

-------
CHAPTER 2

Besides that, I had gotten to know some more people. This was a completely
different experience. Actually meeting and talking to new people. But still,
something in me was not satisfied. I really wanted to find a guy to go out
with. But how do I start? It's not like I had a role model or someone to
help me out. And I wasn't exactly going to go to the nearest gay club and
look for guys there. It's just not my scene. I guess I really expected the
person to fall into my lap. And I guess he did.

"Hey, Dave. I want you to meet my friend Will. He goes here too. He's from
Baltimore like me. I actually forgot that he goes here. I guess I didn't see
him since he's majoring in bio. Will, this is Dave. My roomie."

"Hey Dave. Xav has been telling me about you."

Are all the people Xav knows just as good looking as he is? I kind of felt
like the odd man out. No way I could compare to these two. Just looking at
him you could tell he had a great body. But enough staring. "Has he now?
Nothing embarrassing I hope. I made the fatal mistake of telling all my
childhood blackmail stories once when I had a little too much to drink. So,
how do you like it here in Boston so far?"

"Pretty good. I actually ran into Xav while I was in the gym. Starting to
workout a lot more now. So, you guys want to go out to a bar or something?"

"Sure." So I invited Diane and Matt along. I supposed I need reinforcements
as well as some entertainment. We decided to go to a bar about fifteen
minutes away from the dorm. When we got there, we ordered a few drinks and
then started to get to know Will. Turns out he also plays baseball. Figures
why he and Xavier seemed to be good friends. They played in the same high
school in Baltimore. But I noticed the whole time I couldn't keep my eyes
off of him. His eyes were the most amazing warm hazel I had ever seen. His
face was practically perfect. His nose, his slightly messy hair, his lips,
and the way he talked. I just listened to him with all of my attention, not
letting anything bother me.

"Dave?? Yoo hoo. Dave??? Are you there??"

"Huh? Oh, Diane. Yes?" Shit. I hope that didn't make me look too obvious.
Completely absorbed with Will, I completely avoided anything else. And now
that Diane tore me away, it might have made it evident about my complete
lack of being discrete.

"Um, Dave, please come with me and get another drink."

I wondered what she had planned. I could tell by the obvious tone of her
voice that she wanted to talk to me about something. So we walked over, got
some more drinks, an then she asked me. "Are you gay?"

"Huh? What? No... of course not." Shit I thought to myself. I was too obvious.
And now she knew. And probably would want to get away from me as soon as
possible.

"It's okay you know. Matt and I kept talking about it. We noticed the way
you looked at Matt the first time around. And now, with Will. If you are
gay, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

If I did tell her, she would be the first one to know. The first person to
whom I would confess. "Yah. I am. Is it that obvious?"

"Yes, very. And I'm thinking that you better stop. You are a little too
obvious. Now, I don't know for sure if Will is gay or not, but you might not
want to drool the way you do when he talks. Some guys aren't as open about
being gay and all."

"Yah. I guess." Wow, it wasn't that bad telling someone about me. So one
problem down. But another one to come. I still had to go back to the table.
I just couldn't help myself whenever Will was talking. I just lost all my
other senses. Anyways, we stayed at the bar for another hour or so. It
happened to be karaoke night, and somehow my friends forced me into singing.
And I think everyone in the bar will never forget that. I was completely
horrible. I was nervous. I didn't have a very good voice. But, in the middle
of my song, something wonderful happened. Will came next to me and helped me
out with the singing. At least I became more comfortable. And his voice was
amazing. (turned out he was in the choir at high school) Now I was in love
with him even more. But now the alcohol was having its affect. I could
barely walk in a straight line now. I was so amazingly tired.

"Hey, guys, I think I'm going to head back to the dorm. You know how I am
with alcohol, not very tolerant. I'll see you guys later."

Then, Will came up to me. "Hey, I'll go with you. Besides, I only live a
five-minute walk away from your dorm. Someone has to make sure you make it
to your room. You look like you can barely stand up."

"Ah, thanks." I was getting more nervous by the minute. As we headed out of
the door, I shouted "bye" to Matt, Diane, and Xavier. Will and I walked
outside. It was a cool October evening. I quickly learned that it quickly
gets really cold in Boston. But the skies were clear, all the starts out
brightly twinkling in the sky. As we walked, I remarked about how nice the
weather is. The weather? What kind of conversation is that?

But I just wanted to hear him talk. His voice soothed me. "Yah, I love the
weather when it is like this. Slightly chilly. You look cold. Do you want my
jacket?"

I had been foolish enough to go out of the dorm room without one. And now I
was practically freezing. But I didn't want him thinking I was some sort of
sissy. So I said "No, it's ok." But it wasn't ok. Added to the fact that I
was nearly using all my concentration so that I wouldn't fall in some ditch,
now I was really cold. Then, the worst thing happened. We were walking
towards the dorm, and the shortest path there goes through a somewhat steep
hill. I think I must have tripped over a rock or something and I started to
fall down the hill. Stupidly enough, I grabbed Will, trying to grab anything
sturdy so that I would not fall. Instead, it sent both of us rolling down
the hill. When we finally got to lower ground, I noticed he was right on me.
I could hardly move, and now I had the huge headache. But then, as we both
came to our senses, we looked into each other's eyes. I love his eyes. You
have no clue how much. My headache dissipated quickly and I just stared deep
into his eyes. The proximity. The warmth of his breathe on my face. The
smell of his cologne on his neck. Now, I thought this went on for an
eternity, but it must have been only 10 seconds or so.

Suddenly, he quickly got to his feet. "Sorry about that. I hope I didn't
hurt you, you know, landing on you and all."

"Oh no. This was all my fault. I really shouldn't have grabbed you. I don't
know what I was thinking."

He seemed sort of dazed. "Yah, well, uh, I better get going. Ya know. I'm
kind of tired too." he said as he helped me up.

"Yah, I understand. It was nice meeting you Will. Hopefully we can meet up
some other time." Shit. Now that was obvious. That was almost like asking
for a date. I hope he couldn't tell by the look of frustration on my face
that I was kicking myself for asking him this.

"Yah. that would be nice. I would love that. I'll see you later, Dave." And
he walked away into the darkness.

I got into my dorm room, changed into sleeping clothes when it struck me.
Did he say he would "love" to do that?? Now I was getting all confused. He
quickly got up after falling on me, as if he completely showed no interest
in me. But at the same time, he was sending me some weird message about
going out again. Now I was thoroughly confused. But, too tired to think, I
just fell asleep and that was that.

------

Now, trust me. As many of you know, waking up with a hangover is not so much
fun. Seriously. I had no clue how Xavier was so up and cheery in the
morning. I know he drank more than I did last night. I got up, took a nice
long shower, and got ready for class.

"So ready for another boring lecture by Mr. Connel about the wonderful world
of physics?"

As hung over as I was, there was no way Xavier was annoying in anyways.
"Yah, I guess so. But I don't think I'll be able to stay awake through it
without a cup of coffee. You want to head over to the student center before
we head over to phys?"

"Yah, sure. No problem."

So we headed over. A cup of coffee was really what I needed. After that, we
headed off to physics. Now, Mr. Connel is cool and all, but he really needs
to learn how to become more exciting. The whole class, Xavier and I would
just goof around. I really liked having class with him. At least he made the
class bearable. Finally class ended and we went for a walk across the quad.

"So, how'd you like Will?"

"Ah. He's cool. I got to talk with him a bit more after we left the bar."

"Yah, he's a good guy."

And so the conversation went on as we went back to the dorm. Once we got
there, he said he needed to go to the gym, so I just stayed in the room. So,
Diane decided to pop in for a bit.

"Sooooooooo, how did your little walk with little William go? Eh??" She had
only met me less than two months ago but she already knew me inside and out.
"I almost burst out in laughter seeing the expression on your face when Will
said he would go with you too."

"Shut up. I was just, well, intrigued? Besides, nothing happened. Nothing
really happened. Nothing much happened."

"C'mon. Tell me. I can tell something happened. Just tell me. You can trust
me. Anyways, if you don't tell me, I might just have to tickle you into
submission."

"Fine. Fine. I submit." I couldn't help laughing. "Ok, well, we were right
outside the building when I tripped. And basically, when we landed at the
bottom of the hill, he was right on me. And, Diane, it was like heaven. I
could feel his warm body on me, the whole weight just pressing me into the
ground. His eyes staring into mine."

"So, so, did anything really interesting happen? You know what I want to
hear."

"Baby steps Diane. Besides, before I could do anything, he got up to leave.
But he did say he would `love' to go out sometime. What do you think?"

"I think you have major problems Dave. As much as I can tell, Will could be
either straight or gay. But he could be dropping some subtle hints about
himself. I guess I'll have to do some snooping. Then again, why don't you
ask Xavier? They seem like good enough friends to know each other's sexual
preference."

See, now that's where the problem is. How could I ask Xavier if Will was
gay, if Xavier didn't even know I was gay? And I wasn't exactly ready to out
myself to him. "Well, see. The problem is, Xavier doesn't know I am gay."

"What?! You guys have been rooming for almost two months and he hasn't
figured it out yet. He must have seen the way you look at guys, like Will
and Matt. How come you don't tell him? I'm sure he would be ok with you
being gay."

"Well, see..." I trailed off, trying to think of what to say.

"You like him, don't you?" I hated the way she said it. With her little
smirk and mischievous expression.

"Well..."

"And things get complicated." By now she was laughing her head off.

"Shut up Diane. I don't know. I have never been in this position before. In
high school, it's not like I was asking guys out on dates or anything. And
besides, what if Xavier is straight? What if he is homophobic? Then rooming
with him will be a disaster. And then I'll probably lose him as friend
because why would he want to be friends with a queer."

"Dave, I am pretty sure Xavier is more understanding than that."

"Well, all I know is that you better not tell anybody. Not yet at least. I'm
not really ready to come out to more people. And telling nobody includes
Matt. This is one secret you'll have to keep from him. Which by the way, how
are things going on between you? If you say I looked so smitten when I was
with Will, you should look at a mirror whenever you and Matt are around each
other. It's almost disgusting how much you two flirt."

"Well, things are going well if I say so myself. He's so nice. All the guys
in my high school were real assholes. They never treated me the way Matt
does. I really like him, Dave. But there is one little snag. He still has a
girlfriend. And he's kind of hung up on her. The flirting you saw, well,
that is really as far as it goes. I can't let it go further than that. I
don't want to compromise him."

"I understand. Well, you should just tell him to break up with the girl."

"Yah, and why don't you tell Xavier that you are gay."

"Touché. Ok then. Let's make a deal. Before Thanksgiving break, you ask Matt
about his girlfriend and I'll tell Xavier that I am gay."

"Deal."

So the weeks went on. All of us got into a routine. Mon., Wed., and Fri.
were basically schools days for us. Tues. and Thurs. we would all go to the
student center or some event that was going on. On Sat. we went partying.
And on Sunday we recovered.

One day, in early November, I got a call from Will.

"Hey, Dave? It's Will."

"Hey man. What's up? How are you doing? I haven't heard from you in two
weeks. I thought you probably died or something if Xavier didn't tell me he
saw you at the gym."

"Yah, well, I've been really busy with school and all. Sorry I never got
around to seeing you. But hey, there's this band playing at a nearby coffee
shop tonight. You wanna come with me?"

"Sure. I would love to go." Shit, I used the word love. Again. But I was so
freaking giddy just hearing his voice. "What time do you want to go?"

"Um, around 8 or 9."

"How about the others? Do you think I should invite them?" Shit, what in the
hell was I thinking?? I just ruined a possible date alone with this guy.

"Um, sure, if you want to. I don't really know if they are into this type of
music. But they can come. No problem."

Damn. I was hoping he would say no. So I said bye and proceeded to ask
Diane, Matt, and Xav. Since Xavier wasn't around, I went to ask Diane. I was
stepping out my room when I could hear shouting in the hallway. I was
wondering who it was. As I got nearer to Diane's room, I figured out she and
Matt were having a fight.

"What are you talking about? Break up with her? I've been with her for
almost three years! I can't just break up with her!"

"Why not? I really like you. And I'm pretty sure you like me. I mean, long
distance relationships. How long are you going to stay with her? I really
like you Matt. Why can't you break up with her?

"I just can't!" And with that, Matt stormed off into his room. I crept into
Diane's room and found her crying.

"Di, I heard what was happening. I guess you told him about your real
feelings. Guess it didn't go as you planned."

"Yah, but oh well. C'est la vie right? Hehe, I'm already speaking French
more than you and you're taking classes for it."

"Do you want me to stay here with you? Tonight? You look like you need a lot
of cheering up. That and two pints of cookie dough ice cream. We need to
splurge."

I could sense she was getting somewhat better. He sobbing has decreased to a
small whimper. So that whole night, we spent the whole night talking about
anything. Just hopefully to take her mind off of Matt. I didn't think Matt
would react like this. I didn't.

"You weren't joking when you said you were a sensitive guy. If you didn't
have two testicles, a penis, and a low voice, I swear you could be a girl."

"Ha..ha. Not funny. I guess growing up with two older sisters, comforting
people like this just comes natural to me."

"Well, alls I know is that you're gonna make some guy really happy. Talking
about guys, how are things going between you and Will. Have you told Xavier
yet?"

Oh shit. Will. What time is it???? Fuck. It's already 12. I can't believe I
spent almost 6 hours in Diane's room. "Fuck! I was supposed to meet him in
the club tonight around 8. I can't believe I forgot."

"Oh. I'm sorry Dave. If I knew, I really would have told you to go."

"No, it's not your fault. But I am going to have a hell of a time explaining
this to Will."

"Well, if you need someone to back up your story, just bring him to talk to
me. I'll set him straight, no pun intended. He he. Anyways, I thank you Mr.
Cordais for helping me in my time of need, even if it meant sacrificing your
first date with a guy. I really appreciate all of this. I hope you know
that."

"I do. Anyways, I'm gonna go back to my room now. Hopefully I'll be able to
reach Will on his phone or something." And with that, I went back to my
room. "Hey Xavier."

"Oh. Hey Dave. What's up?"

"Well, two bad things happened. First, Matt and Diane had a fight, and I
spent 6 hours consoling her. Second, I think I just stood up Will. He wanted
some of us to go to a coffee shop and listen to a band. I can't believe I
forgot."

"Wow, sounds bad. Hope Diane is doing well. And hopefully Will. Sounds like
you stood him up for a date. Awww."

"Shut up."

"I'm just kidding. Oh well, I hope you work things out with everyone."

"Well, actually, I still need to work one thing out." Shit. What am I trying
to say? Am I going to tell him that I am gay here and now? What if he tells
Will? Then not only will he be mad at me for not going to the shop, but also
because I'm gay. Shit. I shouldn't have said that.

"Huh? What is it?"

"Uh, never mind."

"You know you can tell me. Trust me."

"Uh, no, it's ok. I don't have any more problems. Night!" Good recovery
Dave, good recovery. Geesh. I hope I didn't sound too obvious. Oh well.
Looks like he dropped it.

The next day I ran into Will, who didn't look too happy when I saw him. "Hey
Will, about last night..."

"No need to say anything. You know, if you didn't want to go in the first
place, you should have just told me."

"Will, it's just that D..."

"It's ok Dave. You don't need to explain yourself. I know why you didn't
come last night." And he stormed off. Shit. I just crashed and burned.
Dammit! He didn't even give my a chance to explain. Consequently, I got all
pissed off. I ran back to my room angry as hell.

"Wow, what happened to you? It looks like someone pushed the wrong button."

"Shut up Xavier. I'm in a bad mood."

"Well, sorry for trying to care. Look, don't get all pissy at me. I have
done absolutely nothing to you. What is wrong with you? You have never acted
this way before. And I'm not really liking it." He stood up and started out
of the door.

I quickly got up and grabbed his arm. "Sorry. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't
have acted the way I did. Look, are you busy right now?"

"No. But keep this up and I'll make myself busy."

"Ok. Well. Let me explain. First of all, I need to tell you one thing."

"What is it?"

Now or never Dave. Just tell him! He'll be ok with it. "Well..." Shit, nothing
else was coming out of my mouth.

"Dave, just tell me. It can't be that big, can it?"

If he only knew. "Xavier, I'm gay."

-------------------------------------
Ok ok ok. So it might take one more chapter so for this to pick up. But keep
reading. If you have any questions or comments, write me at
Streyn@hotmail.com
Thanks